The Nick DiPaolo Show - California Reparations Ridiculous | Nick Di Paolo Show #1394

Episode Date: May 8, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about sick murders in OK, Hawkings AI warning and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

🎵 You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Hi. Welcome, Snap. Yeah. Snap your neck. Good to be with you, I guess. Who else am I going to hang out with? I ain't know nobody down here.

Dallas, how are you? Good. Fucking minute delay for that. Oh, boy, is this great. Really quickly, I just saw this story as we're coming on air. Breaking news. Is that the nose? I'll read this one off the paper old school like I used to before I got into money.

Biden sending 1,500 troops to southern border as Title 42 ends, but not to secure the border. Matter of fact, they're opening a bunch of processing centers on the other side, in other countries, in Guatemala, wherever the fuck, so they can make it more efficient for them to get in. I am ready. Folks, you have no idea what the repercussions are. Maybe you do. People on the border that live up there, Texas, you know. This

country, you're not going to recognize it in 10 minutes. That's not hyperbole. It's fucking unbelievable what they do. President Biden sent 1,500 soldiers to the U.S.-Mexican border in anticipation of the end of Title 42. That's the law based on Jackie Robinson.

Anybody who looks like him, they can't commit. End of Title 42, which was the public health policy that has allowed authorities to turn back millions of asylum seekers. Yeah, because they might not be healthy. You know, it was in place, and it was doing the job, and then shithead takes over. The active duty Army units will focus on data entry. That's what you want. So they're going to be sitting at a computer, your Army guys.

Mother of God. Warehouse support. What is that? A soldier's going to do load bundlite load Bud Light and other administrative tasks to border? So border patrol agents, oh my God, take the military, make it look like we use them, and make them secretaries and babysit at the warehouse. so border agents can devote their resources to stemming the expected tide of tens of thousands of migrants at the U.S.-Mexican border when Title 42 ends May 11th. They were already stacking up to get in. It's like the Boston fucking marathon at the beginning.

The service members would be armed, get this, but only permitted to use their weapons in self-defense. That's faggot stuff. You want to call it by its name, that's strictly for fags. Really? They're not allowed to pick people off for no reason? Well, it's rare for the Pentagon to deploy active duty troops domestically. Biden on Thursday signed an executive order empowering the Pentagon and Department of Homeland Security to deploy active duty and reserve military and Coast Guard personnel

to address the international drug trafficking. A little late. Only lost about, I don't know, 300,000 kids. But nice going, fuck's sake. What's there, an election coming up? Oh, yeah. The authority comes from December 15th, 2021. This is how slow it moves.

Biden declared national emergency to address the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security, foreign policy, and economy of the United States posed by international drug trafficking. That was going on during Trump. It was going on before that. Good to see you're on that.

Over the last few days, the Border Patrol has recorded tens of thousands of migrants crossing the southern border illegally as Title 42 enforcement period winds down. Of course, they're not dumb. The Post revealed last week that around 40,000 migrants who attend to seek asylum in the U.S. are gathered in Juarez, Mexico, waiting to enter El Paso, Texas, once the policy exists. Like I said, it looks like the beginning of a marathon.

Border Patrol Chief Raul Ortiz said Monday that in three days prior, agents had made, get this, 22,220 apprehensions. That doesn't count the ones that got away. Including two sex offenders, so that means probably a hundred. One convicted murderer and one gang member. And you can bet you... Oh my... What happened? What happened? They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime.

Oh, don't say that. They're rapists. That's racist. And some, I assume, are good people. Some, I assume, are in customer service. Agents had also seized 806 pounds of methamphetamine, 283 pounds of marijuana, 62 pounds of cocaine, and three firearms. That doesn't sound like very...

No fentanyl? Shit. You fucking people making this shit up. More than 2 million illegal immigrants have been apprehended at the southern border. I'll repeat that. More than 2 million illegal immigrants have been apprehended at the southern border. I'll repeat that. More than 2 million have been apprehended at the southern border and returned to Mexico under the policy

which was enacted by then president, a real president, and the guy who won, Donald Trump, at the start of COVID-19 pandemic. The Trump administration deployed more than 5,000 active duty troops to the southern border. Something like that.

I'll get it, Doc. Hold on, kids. When he's out of office after a second term. 5,000 active duty troops to the southern border in October 2018 to counter a caravan of at least 3,500 Central American migrants traveling north. Trump described the group at the time as carrying out an invasion of the country. Yes, sir. How the fuck could you argue with that?

Do you, Pete, I know you guys get it because you think like we do. You really think the schools and all that can take all this influx? Who's going to teach them English? Huh? How about hospital care? Who's going to pay for all that? This is their wet dream and it's coming through the lips. And this is how you break, by the way, was it Marx, Engel, one of those evil fucks?

I don't know. Who had the radical rules? I forget. But that's how you break a capitalist society. You overload the safety nets with cheap land and people from other third world shithole, and it collapses. You're watching it in real time, folks. Isn't it terrific? There are currently roughly 2,700 National Guard members at the border. Might as well have three, right?

Trump's zero-tolerance policy for prosecuting illegal border crossers, as well as another to unite parents with migrant children detained at the border. What? Did I read that out of context? Oh, here we go. The president signed executive orders. This is in February 2021 that ended Trump's zero tolerance policy

for prosecuting illegal border crossers as well as T-Night parents with migrant children detained at the border. And this idiot undoes it. And if you remember, we had it under control. Oh, fucking idiot! This administration, I gotta keep yelling at Joe. It's not him. He's fucking retarded.

He doesn't even know what he's doing. He's a puppet, whatever, whoever. They're destroying it. It's not hyperbole. I can lick my ass. The crime rate's already going up. Read the newspapers. Read the internet. You read a newspaper? Yes, I do sometimes. So I don't have a fucking Cialis ad popping up in the middle of a story about the Middle East. a story about the Middle East. Let's see. The Gaza Strip. Do you need pills to make your dick hurt?

Do you guys get what I'm saying? Know what I'm saying? Aye? Anyhow, it's a disgrace. How much more can we take of this? Honestly. Hey, boys and girls, in the second half of the show today, I'll be talking about porn being blocked in Utah for some weird reason and California reparations and why any reparations is a joke to me.

So it's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at NickDepaloShow.com. Could you? Would you? Please. Okay. Let's move on, shall we? So that was breaking news, I call it.

I can't fucking believe it. I'm all over the place. It's no okie-dokie. Now, stories like this I could do every day, but I avoid it because there's so many of them that it's almost, again, we got to be as violent as any country out there. This sickos around the corner, people go, oh no, the news is just making you feel that way. Well, I don't know. A guy get hit with a bullet in a bullpen in a college game. And every day, rapes, murders, whether it's a suburban couple, the husband. I just read about

a dentist beating the fuck out of some guy with a golf club on the golf court. And it wasn't those guys we showed the guys yesterday everybody saw on the internet. It's a different one. Anyways, I feel like we're losing it. Maybe it's MKUltra. I don't know. Those cigarettes I love. It's not okie dokie. Two missing teen girls, I had nothing to do with it, have reportedly been found dead in Lionel Ritchie's garage. What? Hey, folks, it's a fucking joke. Have reportedly been found dead. Imagine I just filled in

alongside five other people on a property in Oklahoma. The Oakmergley, that's Indian, Oakmergley County Sheriff's Office said Monday, change your name, will you, Sheriff? Police recovered the bodies of Ivy Webster, 14, and Brittany Brewer, 16, of Henrietta, both of whom had been missing since Sunday night, according to News on 6 in Tulsa.

Police also found the corpse of Jesse McFadden. Well, who's that? A 39-year-old registered sex offender. This is just like the ID network. They do three of these a year. Yeah, he doesn't look great. He's got Ron DeSantis' eyes. Yeah, he does, actually. And he's got a Down syndrome haircut. Anyways, 39-year-old registered sex offender who had spent 16 years, that means he was busted when he was 23, in prison for rape and was scheduled for trial Monday

on charges of soliciting child porn. Why don't we just... Bye-bye, dickhead. After the first rape. Put him to sleep. Nick, that's not... Shut it. Sometimes Iran and China has it right. Authorities said the girls were last seen with McFadden.

And I think we have audio of him. Places the lotion in the basket. Please. Please. I want to go home. I want to go home. Please. Please. Sounds like a date I had in high school. It was called a prom. Not make ladies no disrespect. I'm just, this guy's a sick bastard i hope you hang him high ivy's father told the network that his daughter had gone to spend the weekend with mcfadden well i gotta question your parenting skills right there oh yeah your 16 year old daughter of whatever spent the weekend at a 39-year-old guy's house. You're all right with that. Had God to spend the weekend with McFadden and his family before.

They've done it before without incident. Yeah, until there's an incident. I know this is Monday morning quarterback, but does that sound right to you? McFadden's trial Monday would have decided whether he was guilty of sexting an underage girl, he only wished, on a contraband phone while he was incarcerated in 2017, the network said. So this guy has proved again and again what a creep he is. And he was out. When he never showed up for his hearing, Muskegee County issued a bench warrant for his arrest.

Authorities showed up at his home in Property Monday searching for the missing girls. It was unclear if that's where cops found the bodies. I'm pretty sure you said they did at the top, Eric. Well, I guess they mean specifically like under the house or in the barn. Is that what you're talking about? Check suitcases. I don't know why.

I'm not trying to be funny here. Every time I watch the ID network and somebody chops somebody up, they put them in a suitcase. How big are your suitcases? I'm talking full adults. Officials have not identified the other victims. What an evil mother and he did the right thing by fucking swallowing a pistol because he they would have used his ass as a fucking pin cushion hopefully the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Yes, but he did.

There's so many stories like that, man. If you watch the ID Network. If I could do it again, Dallas, detective. Either that or, you know, quarterback for the Patriots. Oh, I don't know. But that detective,

you guys watch my boy, what's his name? Oh, Nick. Don't bring up people's names. Joe, American detective, Joe, you guys know. Anyways, he's an older guy. He's retired. He was a great detective in his day from like Arizona. Joe Fender, Joe Sender, whatever the fuck. I can't believe I can't remember this. Anyways, he's perfect. He's a little ghoulish. He'll go, then they found the bones of a 12-year-old girl under Bill's house. Oh, my. God damn it. Google it, producer. I'm not giving you anything to go on.

American, no, American detective, Joe. It is so embarrassing that I can't. But that's what you're here for. I'll go on. As you look and I'll read. Late. Oh. Joe Kenda.

Thank you. Fender, Denda. Every letter. Joke. What is it? Kenda. Kenda. Anyways.

Next story. Stephen Hawking warned us about what? About icy roads and wheelchairs. Late theatrical theatrical? Theoretical? I didn't know he acted. Guy acted like he was paralyzed his whole life. He's fine. He was one of those

trans-ableism. I'm fucking f, it's fine. He was one of those, trans ableism. I'm fucking faking it. Imagine, on his deathbed he gets up, starts doing, jumping, I was faking. Late theoretical physicist and theatrical Stephen Hawking said at the Golden Globes, no, said back in 2014 that artificial intelligence could, oh, my eyes are getting tired, could destroy humanity. But scientists are choosing to ignore him per usual.

No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. Oh, they sure is. The development of full artificial intelligence could spell the end of human race, Hawking told the BBC in 2014. They developed, look at him sitting there. His head's falling off his body. It's rolling down his chest. What is that?

I would rather be me, IQ 128, than him like that. I'm sorry. Imagine he left a woman. How fucking, her self-esteem. She didn't suck on a pistol like that. I'm sorry. Imagine he left a woman. How fucking her self-esteem. She didn't suck on a pistol after that. I can't keep a cripple. Hawking told the BBC in 2014, we're in deep shit,

just four years before his death in March of 2018 when he was run over by a steamroller. Back then, artificial intelligence or AI was more of a sci-fi concept than most, but thanks to the creation of programs like ChatGPT, the synthetic intelligence software, is now becoming part of the Norman Western Society. Here I am in college showing, I don't know, anyways.

I don't know. Anyways. Calculus, that's what I said. There was more letters than numbers. I used to do a joke in my act. I'd go, I flunk calculus because I couldn't spell. Fucking Nick, you're a genius. While Hawking himself was doing donuts in a parking lot on a Sunday night, said that the original primitive forms of AI had been proven useful.

He feared the long-term, he was right on the money, consequences of creating a technology that can compete or surpass human capabilities. They did that when they invented the Coke machine. Nature, Will Robinson. Nature, no Will Robinson. Hey, that's him warning us. It would take off on its own and redesign itself at an ever-increasing... Now I'm getting nervous.

When guys like this... Who's going to question him? Hawking noted, humans who are humans who are limited... Oh, the poor prick's taking a nap. Look at... He's so exhausted, he just typed a letter to his sister. Humans, with his tongue, humans who are limited by slow biological evolution couldn't compete

and would be superseded, he says. And you know who he's talking about. Is it because we're black? No! He's saying, you know, people like me, I couldn't keep up. Hawkins' concerns also touched upon the threat of terrorists using the internet to become command centers. However, he was going,

I like that. I like that. the internet to become command centers. However, he was going, however, he conceded that any attempts to control such threats could also impose upon freedom and privacy. He's all over it. Hawking's concerns on this were totally legitimate. The internet is a breeding ground for awful things and the concept of freedom and privacy within this space are almost humorous at this point in our post-COVID society. Hawking also gave a clear warning about not contacting alien species, and scientists completely ignored that, too. I guess we'll just have to see what comes first.

Very exciting stuff. There's me and Dale touching fingers the electricity can't be denied hey for those of you on Mug Club stick around for the second half of my show

everyone else go to nickdapaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's and a whole lot more and while you're there

folks at nickdip.com, click on the tour button, get my dates where you can see me live. May 12th, Daytona Beach, Florida. Resort Daytona Beach, Florida. May 19th and 20th, Hyenas in Dallas. July 14th and 15th, the Draft House at Alexandria, Virginia. I hope to see you out there. I'll be there because I'm queer. Hello? to see you out there. I'll be there, cause I'm queer. Hello? guitar solo Outro Music