The Nick DiPaolo Show - CBP Apprehends Record 2M | Nick Di Paolo Show #1275
Episode Date: September 20, 2022Record border crossings. Military told to go on food stamps. Muslim goes after Queens casket. Man bites off mans nose. Weatherman fired for webcam show. Jab death confirmed....
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Fuck off, motherfucking face. Talking about some fucking Black Lives Matter. What the fuck do you mean Black Lives Matter? Patreon today for just a few bucks a month. fucking lost somebody my complexion killed so what the fuck is you coming in my face because i don't want to fucking be bothered talking about black lives matter brother how how nobody is
willing to fucking march come together to stop black on black crime so when when niggas when
people is ready to come together and just completely exonerate black fucking crime black
on black crime that's when black lives matter so get the fuck out my face with that shit. I've never had to look over my back of somebody else
It was always my own kind hunting me the fuck down for no fucking reason
I'll get on the wear a new pair of fucking sneaks
I got my own kind looking at me funny hating me because I want to look good. I want to smell good
Fuck you talking about?
Fuck out my fucking face bitch made-ass motherfucker
You heard the man a a brother just wanna smell good I'm going to go down La la la, la, la, la, la, la.
Here's Nick.
Good to be here, Hawaii.
It's a Tuesday.
Great show tonight, Ed.
What'd you do this weekend?
Anything?
I smell, what do I smell, Patron?
Or is that your ball sweat?
Great show, Ed.
We got Goldie Hawn.
What a piece of ass, huh?
I'd like to sniff, who's her boyfriend?
Rusty Staub?
Kurt, what's his name?
Oh, fuck it.
God damn it.
Also, Lee Majors, the bionic man's head of night.
Big, tough guy.
And a tremendous, a tremendous impressionist.
He's like a poor man's rich little Fred Travolina.
A real D-list.
Also, an 86-year-old woman from Des Moines, Iowa,
who's been saving her used tampons since she was 13, and apparently made a 75-foot
Christmas tree out of them last year. Gladys Vanderwall will be with us. Anyhow, I couldn't
remember Kurt Russell. Ah, you sister's tits, everybody. How are you? What's going on?
I don't know.
World keeps getting weirder and weirder.
I just, the frigging Martha's Vineyard blowback
is just hilarious.
I mean, they're fucking trying to attack
DeSantis now.
Making him out to be
remember fucking
I told you Newsom wants
charged with kidnapping and shit.
They
they're more irate
and DeSantis said this today
I didn't pull the clip.
They're more irate
at him sending those
immigrants there
than
than people pouring it over the
70 immigrants have drowned in in the fucking river out there, and they're more irate because
he did this.
Meanwhile, there's unvetted pouring in.
They broke a record.
We're going to tell you about it in a few seconds.
Two million people or something.
I mean, and they're irate about that.
two million people or something.
I mean, and they're irate about that.
Boy, did that just expose those white liberal fucks, especially Massachusetts,
for the phony virtue signaling pieces of shit you are.
You're so full of shit.
You're some of the most racist people on the planet.
And boy, did you show it.
All smiles and hugs when they were leaving.
Oh, they changed our lives.
Oh, my aching stem. I hope they figure it out, the immigrants, and go, let's go back.
Let's take our own plane back in a few years. We'll show up and pretend we're going to cut trees down with our axes. Anyways, just sickening. So top story tonight, what fucking border is the headline?
Border Patrol agents apprehended nearly 2 million migrants, we still call them migrants,
okay, who illegally crossed the southwest border between ports of entry so far this
fiscal year.
I'll repeat that, 2 million.
One month remains in the already record record setting a year can you believe that
what the hell's going on out here i uh i don't know agents assigned to the nine southwest border
sectors apprehended get this 1,997,769 migrants guess who's going to be paying for all the babysitting? During the first 11 months of fiscal year 2022.
That's enough to impeach this motherfucker and send him away for good.
According to the August Southwest.
And do you hear any Republicans speaking up or anything?
I don't.
I think they've given up.
According to the August Southwest land Border Encounters report,
released late on Monday afternoon,
DeSantis is the only one and Trump and a few,
the rest of them, they're in on it.
Cheap labor, folks.
Remember that.
Both parties love that.
August is the fifth straight month
where apprehensions exceeded 180,000 migrants.
You believe that shit?
Here is some what we call in the business border footage.
Oh, gosh.
Oh, snap.
Holy shit.
Oh, my gosh.
Oh, my gosh. That was insane. oh my god oh my god
that was insane
oh my god
apparently there's a Walmart right on the El Paso
right on the border
looks a lot like Black Friday doesn't it
you get the point
I thought that was a perfect
metaphor for Biden's, you know, security. And that dumb whore vice president, Kamala,
says, looks us in the eyelash with the border secure. Oh, I'd like to secure my thumb and
index finger in your Adam's apple, you half a man. Anyways, look at that. People just pouring in.
This is what you're going to hear every day when you look up and your neighbors are,
you don't even recognize me. Good morning, my neighbors. Hey, fuck you.
That's a melting pot, isn't officials in the biden administration quickly pointed
fingers outside the united states that's all they do is blame oh my god you guys are so bad at what
you do for the failures of their own immigration and border security policy pointing fingers at
yeah exactly
let's dissent this on the phone with Joe.
Failing communist regimes in Venezuela.
This is what they're blaming it on.
Nicaragua and Cuba.
I said Cuba.
Oh, my God.
I'm from Boston.
I'll have a vodka and tonic.
And Cuba are driving a new wave of migration across the... Yeah, that's what it is, failing communist countries.
They've been failing for how long?
Across the Western Hemisphere.
Wait a minute, I thought it was, you know what?
I thought it was global warming that was doing this.
Across the Western Hemisphere,
including the recent increase in encounters
at the Southwest U.S. border,
CBP Commissioner Chris Magnus said
in a written statement, our dedicated teams of skilled agents continue to work around the clock
to secure our border and safely, humanely process and vet every, that's a lie too, you're not vetting
everybody, individual encountered. Okay, he says the ones that they encountered,
but the ones that got away, got away.
But those fleeing repressive regimes,
pretty soon that'll be Canadians,
if you've been reading what Trudeau's doing.
And here, we got a switch.
They can run down here, we'll go up there,
we'll take care of Trudeau.
We know how to do it.
Anybody see
JFK movie? JFK?
Yeah. Those fleeing
repressive regimes
pose significant challenges for
processing and removal. You don't
say.
The official language of the United States
in six months.
You
are a bitch.
No, no, no. in six months. That'll still be funny.
Look how depressing.
That's not a borderline.
That's the Cincinnati Reds stadium.
I don't know.
It's fan.
Bring your Hispanic neighbor.
CBP officials reported a 175% increase I don't know, it's Finn, bring your whore, bring your Hispanic neighbor.
CBP officials reported a 175% increase in the apprehension of migrants. And don't go, that's great, we're catching, no, that means the more people are pouring in,
you're going to have more apprehension, you know, it's a tricky number,
of migrants from Venezuela, Cuba, and Nicaragua.
A 175% increase.
What do you see?
They placed the number of apprehensions at 55,333 of migrants from these three nations.
This compares to 56,979 from Mexico and the Northern Triangle countries.
1,979 from Mexico and the Northern Triangle countries.
The news of the spike in Venezuelan migrants follows a report from the Department of Homeland Security, listen to this, this will get your ire, by Breitbart Texas that revealed Venezuelan
officials, okay, are releasing inmates from their prisons.
Remember this, folks.
And I made a prediction.
In a couple years, when these people are killing each other over here
in their newfound country, they're going to go, what the fuck?
Our hero, Joe Biden, overdid it.
They'll be living the same squalor they just came from.
Luckily, I'll be hopefully still alive and die a week after they get here.
But anyways, they're releasing inmates from prison.
If you guys are my age, well, when Dallas was about a 5, 7, 8-year-old, true,
this is what Castro did in Cuba.
You've seen Scarface.
Okay, the Marietta boat dump, remember?
Emptied his prisons.
That's what Scarface, that's when it took place.
These inmates are reported to be among
the rising Venezuelan migrant numbers.
Great.
Hardened criminals coming out of Venezuelan prisons.
And include many violent criminals,
because we don't have enough here homegrown.
Breitbart, Texas, Randy Clark first reported.
And to that, and the rest of the country says to our president,
But Joe Biden!
But Joe Biden!
Yes.
The intelligence report warns agents the freed prisoners have been seen
within migrant caravans traveling from
uh tapacula i never can say that right to pocket to kapok what is it tapachula mexican mexico
toward the u.s mexican border as recently uh as july the report does not state whether the
released prison inmates were traveling as a cohesive group what does it
matter but yes they they they fucking they're singing singing together like the Jackson but
uh but uh does state it was commonly shared knowledge among migrants traveling to the United
States within a caravan in July that many of the Venezuela migrants in the group were convicts
and including hardened criminals.
So you got that to look forward to.
America, the beautiful.
Beautiful.
That's Joe Biden's America.
You fucking people.
You have no idea how to kiss my sister.
What?
Anyways, let's stay on G.I. Joe sold us out.
Stay on Joe Biden. G.I. Joe sold us out. Stay on Joe Biden.
G.I. Joe sold us out.
Well, what does that mean?
Well, this schmuck, this jerk-off who didn't win the election, by the way,
who isn't fit to run a fucking dick sporting goods,
the U.S. military just told its own soldiers to use food stamps
to keep their families fed during the ongoing period of high inflation,
caused by their commander in chief, by the way, caused by the Biden regime's own flawed economic analysis.
So they told the soldiers to get on food stamps, coupled with the established COVID-19 lockdown and the war in Ukraine.
They told the soldiers to get on food stamps.
You fucking people. You have no
idea how to defend a nation.
Which is why the full list
of the 15
billion plus
dollars, I'll repeat that, 15
billion with a B, in aid being
sent to Ukraine by the U.S.
government is likely to hit harder
in the solar plexus, they said.
That's right.
Talk about our government.
According to the U.S. Department of Defense,
there's been a whopping $15.8 billion
in security assistance to Ukraine
since the beginning of the Biden administration, including more than $15.8 billion in security assistance to Ukraine since the beginning of the Biden
administration, including more than $15.1 billion since the beginning of Russia's unprovoked and
brutal invasion on February 24th. Here's a list. I just thought this was, I don't even know what
this shit is, Dallas. I'm sure you know it at all. Here's a list. And get this, I only did about a
third of the list because I didn't want to bore you people.
Remember that.
It went on for another whole page.
Here's a list of all your taxpayer-funded equipment that has been dumped into the most corrupt country in Europe,
which is the Ukraine, by the way.
We're living in a different.
But you're not going to believe.
Are you ready?
All right.
Over 1,400 Stinger anti-craft systems.
Over 8,500 Javelin anti-armor systems.
Over 32,000 other anti-armor systems.
Over 700 Switchblade tactical unmanned aerial systems.
I was looking at one of those for my wife at Christmas.
126 155-millimeter howitzers and up to 806,000 155-millimeter artillery rounds, 2,000 precision
guided 155-millimeter artillery rounds, 20 105-millimeter howitzers, and 180,000 of 105-millimeter artillery rounds, 20 105 millimeter howitzers, and 180,000 of 105 millimeter artillery
rounds, 126 tactical vehicles to tow 155 millimeter howitzers, 22 tactical vehicles to recover
equipment, 16 high mobility artillery rocket systems and ammunition, 20 120 millimeter motor systems, and 85,000
rounds of 120 millimeter mortar rounds, 1,500 tube-launched optically tracked wire-guided,
we call those TOS missiles, four command post vehicles, eight national advanced surface-to-air missiles,
also known as NASAMs, and munitions, high-speed anti-radiation missiles, those are harms,
20 M117 helicopters, and a partridge in your mother's big mouth. Okay? That's, like I said,
I could go on for another two pages this is what we're pumping
into ukraine while you're telling our soldiers hey go to fucking harvey's they're having a special
tonight take your four kids think about that i met a guy after the show in pennsylvania who's
ukrainian and he talks to his best friends over there and he he goes, they're not seeing any of that money.
I mean, this is equipment.
But they haven't seen any of the money we've been pouring in.
So God knows where that's going.
Aye, aye, aye.
But Mr. President, all's I can say.
Well, I actually called him.
You listening?
Mr. President.
Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks.
You got that?
I know she's dead, Joe, but...
Oh, what a loser.
Think about that.
Think about how we treat our servicemen.
I was so humbled when I went over there for 10 days,
the USO in Afghanistan, and how these guys live.
You want to fucking hug them.
And what they do for us is just, it's, they protect.
So we can shoot our mouths off.
So we can, it's all being pissed down the fucking drain.
I don't mean to sound like John J. Rambo, but here he is.
It's over, Johnny. It's over.
Nothing is over! Nothing!
You just don't turn it off! It wasn't my war!
You asked me, I didn't ask you! And I did what I had to do to win, but somebody
wouldn't let us win! And I come back to the world, and I see
all those maggots at the airport, protesting me, spitting, Adam Schiff. I bet you can run gunships. It's all in the past now. For you! For me, civilian life is nothing! In the field, we had a coat of honor.
I bet you can run gunships.
You watch my back, I watch yours.
Back here, there's nothing!
You're the last of an elite group.
You have a silly hat.
Don't end it like this.
Back there, I could fly a gunship.
I could drive a tank.
I was in charge of million-dollar equipment!
Back here, I can't even hold a job!
Fucking guys!
Ah!
Sounds like me when I get fired from that comedy club in San Mateo.
But that's, you know, I know that's Vietnam, but Dallas knows.
Fucking Zik.
You don't see the old, you don't see, again, I'm not fucking pro.
You got to pick your fights, though.
You know what I mean?
And you got to treat the people you would think. They shouldn't.
Veterans like Dallas,
they shouldn't have to
pay for another thing, in my
opinion, with that rich a country.
If we'd stop fucking the
neocons, stop going to war, that's the
only shit they know.
And veterans should never have to pay another thing.
Their rent should be paid for,
their mortgage, whatever.
Not just when they lose limbs and shit.
And yeah, we're rich enough to do that.
No, no, no, we have an add-a-wing on
at Yale for gender studies and
your sister's black hole.
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Let me just say this about that.
What did I eat last night? What didn't I eat last night what didn't I eat
hope my wife's not watching the show you know what Gilligan little buddy
I got nothing I guess we'll move on what did I oh they had two Monday night games don't do that
by the way the two Monday night game well first of do that, by the way. The two Monday night games.
First of all, if you're going to do that,
do it so they're not running concurrently.
I'm seeing the score of the other game I'm betting
on. Well, this one's...
I know that's a first world problem,
but...
And
the other thing we've been saying for years,
last week, remember there was a game on
Apple?
If you didn't subscribe to, what do you call it?
Prime.
Yeah, Amazon.
Look at me.
Prime Steaks.
Oh, is it?
Yeah, Amazon Prime.
And that's eventually where it's headed, folks.
Excuse me.
I got to believe that's where, you know,
eventually you're going to have to buy the big package if you want.
Trillions to be made. Think about that. They probably chew on their nails where they go, and this stuff is for free?
Anyways, wouldn't that be horrible? But it could happen.
That's the way the cookie crumbles. Speaking of crumbling, how about this
Mama Luke? How about this real jerk-off
in line at the...
Can somebody explain to me what the fascination is with the royal family?
I understand she was quite a lady, 70 years and whatever.
But I'm just...
Didn't we fight off monarchy, royalty, all that horse shit to become who we are?
So I don't understand why we're still fascinated unless you're still telling your daughters
they can kiss a frog and it turns into Neil Diamond.
I don't know what the fuck.
They're coming to America.
That's in that song, that great song, my favorite. I am, I said.
That's in that song.
You know the story about a prince, if you change the name.
My story's the same one.
Anyways, I'm a man who like to swear, but I never cared for being alone. Around 10 p.m. on Friday, 16th of September,
offices from the Mets
parliamentary...
From the Mets?
The fuck? Buck Showalter over?
Trying to finger pop the queen?
Parliamentary and Diplomatic Protection
Command. Can we get longer titles?
How about Fags with No Guns?
Detained a man in Westminster Half... Westminster Half. How about fags with no guns?
Detained a man in Westminster half, Westminster half.
They only got half of them.
Westminster Hall following a disturbance, the Met Police said in a statement.
So there's a big line, they call it a queue over there, right?
Or a keck, is how I pronounce it.
A queue is a line over there, I figured that out
after reading one book, no, it's Monty Python, but anyway, so they've been lining up for,
they said eight kilometers, I, and again, okay, I can see if you're from the UK, even then I'm going,
I guess, what the fuck did she do, huh, yeah, figurehead. Exactly. People say, well, so is the president. Bullshit. Trump's
out there working the crowd like he's Shecky Green in Vegas. But there was a line, a big line,
and some, guess what? Some guy named Mohammed Khan. Would you ever guess? Try to charge
the coffin. Somebody filmed it with their phone.
You've got to look to your right real quick.
You don't really see him.
You see him getting tackled.
But it's like going to a Giants clip.
Watch this stick.
Come on, Mark!
Come on, Mark!
Come on, Mark!
Come on, Mark! Come on, Mark! Come on, Akbar! Hello, Akbar! Hello, Akbar! Hello, Akbar! Hello, Akbar!
Yes!
I'm still alive!
Look at these two guys.
Ha ha ha!
Hello, Akbar!
Ha ha ha!
What are you going to do?
Kill her again?
The bitch is dead.
Look at now.
Boy, she's not dead five minutes.
They're already moving her piano out of her bedroom.
She had to have a ladder to her.
Can we get a shot of the the other thing on the oh yeah yeah
yeah watch this thing the nfl was there i guess that's a concussion protocol tent they think she
banged her head when she uh was helmet on helmet contact look at these two fucking microphones guarding the... That could be the queen's casket
or the front door to the fucking Royal Marriott. Could you park my car there, fuzzhead? Look at
the guy in the front here dressed up in a... Jesus Christ. How about the color combination? It's like
Prince. Fucking purple and good gracious
Heloise. But she was a good lady,
I guess, if you say so.
I don't know.
People, you know, you gotta take that shit
serious. 90, what was
she? 9,000?
96. Good for her.
Mohammed Khan was only 28.
The guy that tried to kill her again.
A barley corn way. Oh, that's a bad street. Good for her. Mohammed Khan was only 28, the guy that tried to kill her again. Of Barley Corn Way.
Oh, that's a bad street.
Barley Corn Way.
Tower Hamlets was charged on Saturday, September 17th,
with an offense under Section 4A of the Public Order Act.
I hate 4A.
4B is all right.
But when they, behavior intending to cause alarm, harassment or distress.
Who's distressed? Who is being harassed?
The Metropolitan Police confirmed in a short statement.
Here's the picture of the guy.
I'm sorry. I had to do it.
While I was looking for other pictures, I stumbled over this on my phone,
and I go, it's my favorite picture.
That's Johnny Depp's dad.
He had that haircut before Johnny Depp.
So that's the guy who's going to appear in custody at Westminster Magistrate's Court on Monday.
Wait a minute, that was yesterday.
It comes as the public line or queue for the lying in state has been running to full capacity
with a minimum, get this, folks, 16-hour wait times.
Are you, this is like when Star Wars 2 came out.
16-hour, you don't even get to see her.
She's in a box.
You're not going to slow dance with her.
What's the fucking...
Look at this. Nick, you're just cold inside. No, I wouldn't wait. Like I said, Gisele Bündchen could be getting blowjobs out if there's four people around. I ain't waiting. With a minimum
60 hour wait times as people continue to travel from different parts of the UK to join the Maunas. Oh, boy, footballer.
We call it soccer, a girls' game.
David Beckham was among some of the high-profile figures.
Is he too pretty to play real football?
To join the line, which has been, they made him wait in line?
Would he be like, no.
Which has been running at over eight kilometers.
That's a lot, folks.
It's almost a mile a kilometer.
Along the River Thames. In a related story, ladies and gentlemen, a man has been charged
after allegedly sexually assaulting two women in the line for Queen Elizabeth's lying in state
in London on Wednesday, the Crown Prosecution Service told CNN
some guys
sexually molested people
do men ever put it away?
Honestly.
Show the Queen some respect.
On friggin'
Do we have a picture of that guy?
No, we don't.
We got the audio.
This is rape!
This is rape. This is rape.
A spokesperson for the Crown Prosecution Service said on Friday that the man was charged with two counts.
It was Beckham.
Oh, my God.
What a dirty celebrity.
With two counts of breaching a sexual harm prevention order.
That's what they call it.
That would be a restraining order over here, I believe.
Sexual prevention order?
Did my wife sign one of those?
What, a year ago?
And two counts of sexual assault on a female.
When they took the guy down, the English guy said,
Perhaps you'd like me to come in there and wash your dick for you.
Police arrested him after he allegedly exposed himself. In line
waiting.
Oh, come
on.
This guy's terrific.
And pushed into
the two women from behind.
According to PA,
the Metropolitan Police said the woman
had been lining up to
see the Queen's coffin after Westminster Hall opened its doors on Wednesday.
And this horny bastard had a good time.
Hound dog is going to eat that pussy.
Fucking Americans.
What are you doing?
Think about that.
You're in line to pay respects to a queen
and you get sexually accosted.
If there is a God,
a good time to maybe drop in and say,
hey, what the fuck you people?
What are you doing?
Sorry, Jimmy, it was in my mother's name.
What are you doing?
Get the fuck out of here.
If I fuck, I'd order a sign.
Up till 2.30 watching the ID network again.
Can't help it.
If you watch the first 30 seconds of any of those episodes,
the murder tape, you're fucking hooked.
You're hooked.
You got to find out what happened to this old lady
from Birmingham, Alabama,
whose life means nothing to anybody,
but I had to stay up till 2.30
to see who the fucking...
Turns out her husband got her with a snow shovel
right in the back of the head.
In Alabama.
It didn't make no sense.
Speaking of violence and men being psychos,
nose meat, yum.
What?
That's my screen name.
A food executive, this may be lab, was arrested over the weekend
for allegedly biting a man's nose during a fight after a college football game. What else?
Doug Ramsey, 53, the chief operations officer, that would be COO, of Beyond Meat, which is the name of my wife's dildo manufacturer,
was taken into police custody Saturday, yeah, mark that one down, on charges of terroristic threatening in third-degree battery, Fox 24 reported.
The attack occurred at a parking garage near Razorback. Really? Drunken? This is his look on his wedding day. Razorback Stadium following a University of Arkansas victory over Missouri State. A police officer responded to this scene at gate 15 over a reported disturbance where
two men were found with bloody faces.
God
bless
America.
Grown men, and I include myself
in this, we are
immature. I'm talking about my
generation, his generation.
My dad, 53. I'm sorry.
Just didn't do shit like that.
I mean, he would never
get season's tickets at cheap fuck.
No. The officer spoke with the witnesses
and determined Ramsey was in a
traffic lane and attempting to
leave when the driver of a Subaru
Oh, that's enough
for me to bite somebody's fucking Subaru,
the official car of Dykes in Vermont.
A Subaru
inches his way in front of Ramsey's vehicle, and by the look on his face, bad guy to cut
off.
Come on, goddammit! Come on, let's go, let's go! Let's go!
Ramsey allegedly got out of the vehicle and punched through the back windshield of the
Subaru. Guarantee alcohol involved. Guarantee. According to the station,
citing a preliminary police
report, during the alleged attack, Ramsey
allegedly bit the other
man's nose, ripping the flesh
of the tip of the...
It says hose.
This is in the article.
Ripping the tip of this guy's
hose.
That's a whole different bite. that's got nothing to do with
his face he responded oh my hose oh my hose oh stop oh stop oh the victim and a witness told
authorities ramsey threatened to kill the subaru driver which i'm fine with anybody who buys a
subaru is a fucking moron.
Seriously, your judgment stinks.
Get off my planet.
People in other vehicles got out of the vehicles and helped separate the pair.
He was booked into Washington County Jail.
Fox News has reached out to Beyond Meat.
Ramsey became C...
It's just funny that he bit...
He's a meat guy, he bit a...
Come on, folks.
Ramsey became COO or COO of the Los
Angeles-based plant-based meat
substitute producer in December.
Oh, yeah. I get friends who came
in. I used to have
comedy cookouts up in Westchester. I had a big
beautiful yard. I'd get the grill
out. I'd get sausages
and fucking hamburgers. Of course,
it'd be about six comics
who, you know, brought their frozen fucking vegetable patties.
And I used to spit on them while I was cooking.
Then I put the cheese on.
No, I never did that.
But they fell apart on the grill and shit.
Oh, yeah, this tastes just like beef
biting into a poison ivy burger.
He previously worked for Tyson Foods,
where he was president, pretty smart guy,
of its global McDonald's business according to its
wait a minute, he worked for who?
Tyson? And they sell to McDonald's?
Really?
I didn't know that. Anyways, how do you feel about the story
Dallas? I'll tell you how you feel
I'm feeling a lack
of meat intake is what drove him mad
Yes, I agree with that.
What are you saying?
He's gay, you mean?
No.
Oh, no.
I get you.
Vegetarian.
Yes.
No, you're right.
You don't have a good steak once a month.
You get cranky.
You want to...
He turned into a cannibal in traffic.
Hey, guys.
Make plans to come and see me at my house tonight.
I'm very lonely.
No.
When I'm in Florida, here at my house tonight. I'm very lonely. No, when I'm in Florida,
here are my
confirmed dates.
Friday, November the 11th,
Palm Beach Kennel Club,
West Palm Beach, Florida. It's a beautiful place.
Saturday, November 12th,
Schnapper's
OBGYN hospital
in Fort Myers.
Schnapper's Comedy. I love when one comes up that I haven't done yet.
I thought I'd done them all twice.
When there's a new one that comes up, I'm like, oh, boy.
Snappers Comedy in Fort Myers, Florida.
You can imagine Elvis saying that.
I'll be a Snappers, baby.
Sunday, November 13th, the next night,
Sidesplitters Comedy Club, Tampa, Florida.
And at the Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A
after the show with VIP ticket holders.
So grab those before they're gone.
You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com.
I'll also be adding shows in Kansas City, Arkansas, and Louisiana shortly.
So keep your eyes open for those.
I've never done anything in Louisiana.
It's like Dallas.
You're a southerner.
Is Shreveport a nice city?
No.
I knew it.
I don't want to make people laugh.
What's the nicest city in Louisiana?
The campus of LSU?
The French Quarter.
What is it?
The French Quarter.
The French Quarter, because I wouldn't even say New Orleans as a whole.
I forgot New Orleans is in Louisiana.
How about that?
Oh my God, I'm losing my marbles.
I just, why do I?
When you talk about New Orleans,
you don't, nobody mentions the state.
Anyways, final story. Oh
Here we go, I don't even know the fan sent me this
I hope that's real when people send me this out and I don't I don't mean to be too cynical or jerk-off
But I'm like is that just photoshopped on there?
Maybe he explained it the letter. I
Was reading it as I was reading it
as I was watching. It was on a website.
LatinoHousewives.com
If that's
legit, that is very
cool. And that's
a fucking Chevelle, ain't it?
It's a fucking nice
muscle car.
Yeah.
That's a great look, man.
Tell me, I want you to send a picture of that car
after somebody smashes your windshield
when they see your plates.
Some girl with thick ankles and a Hillary t-shirt, I hope.
Anyways, Weatherman blew it.
I did this story, folks, for one reason.
I don't understand this little gay club that
weathermen have across the nation. I've been pointing this out since I lived in New York City.
Sam Champion was this handsome, blonde-haired, blue-eyed guy, super gay. Didn't sound gay.
Sounded straight and shit, but pretty boy. And sure, gay, whatever. But then I'd see another gay guy in a local, and then I'd go on the road, and there's a
gay guy, you know, in the Philly local states.
Then I'd go to Denver, and the weather guys, and I'd go, what the fuck is, this has been
my theory for 20 years.
And this story doesn't really do anything to push back against it.
Push back, hot.
How about Dallas?
If he said that into the mic, that would have been hilarious.
He said push back how?
Is that what you said?
Fucking Dallas is on fire today,
Bucks. Anyhow,
an Emmy nom...
Oh, no. How do you get nominated
for an Emmy as a fucking weatherman?
I wrote for the Chris Rock show.
Okay, I got nominated because it's hard.
These jerk-offs are wrong every other day.
An Emmy, maybe that's how they do it.
They judge them like umpires.
Yes, they look at it over a year's work, how many things you get.
An Emmy-nominated weatherman for Spectrum News New York 1
claims he was fired after someone on an adult webcam site,
this makes no sense though,
took nude photos of him.
Oh, yeah, I get it.
And sent them to his boss, according to a...
Oh, God.
Yeah, you better get on the horn.
A former NY1 meteorologist, Oh, God. Yeah, you better get on the horn. Counselor!
A former NY1 meteorologist, Eric Adame, or Adam.
It's the word Adam with an E on it.
Do what you want with it.
Your name's gay.
Fuck you.
Fired.
In a statement on Instagram posted shortly after he filed the court papers Monday,
announced his termination and revealed that he was getting professional help
over what he described as his compulsive behavior.
Watch out because I'm...
Cocoa Pops! Cocoa Pops!
Didn't you guys fucking recognize
when he's doing the local eights
and he's fucking in his underwear,
fucking wearing a Devo hat?
Come on.
Despite being a public figure and being on television,
this is him, a quote from him,
in the biggest market in the country in front of millions of people
five days a week for more than a decade and a half,
I secretly appeared on an adult webcam.
You gay people are very, you do naughty, naughty things,
but sort of straight people, don't get mad.
Appeared on an adult webcam website. So have I. I haven't got busted yet. Adam A. confessed in the post. Here's the picture
of the weatherman. Once again, this is the molester. No, what did he do? I'm sorry. I'm
thinking about it. Don't guys, I'm not kidding. My wife is terrified getting that tattoo
I'm not kidding you
Fucking right. I don't know maybe right here
This is a conversation piece. So when people when people go well, what does that mean to you? I'll go fuck off
It's a three-studio
Shemp is the funniest motherfucker
Johnny Depp stole his haircut.
It was absurd of me to think this is the gay weatherman.
I could keep this private, he wrote.
Nevertheless, my employer found out and I was suspended and then terminated.
He's a fag.
Yeah, I could tell that from his smile.
He looks like Derek Jeter.
His legal petition in his Manhattan Supreme Court say a man
took naked photos
of him
without his permission
on the video chat
website
identified as
Unit 4 Media
LTD
the person then
sent the pictures
to his mother
in New York 1
with intent
of harassing
annoying
or alarming
anime
sounds like
revenge to me
it sounds like revenge to me.
It sounds like revenge porn or maybe a brother who doesn't agree with his lifestyle
or a relative.
Torturously interfering with Adam A.'s employment relationship,
the court document said,
Adam A. is seeking a court order
to force the site to reveal the identity of the person,
God, I should have thrown another shimp up, whose usernames include Sonal Prehan, Tommy Size 29, Fun Times Goldenboy227, my favorite, noting he intends to sue them but needs their real identity to do so.
Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you?
I'm TommySize299.
In his Instagram statement, Adam A apologized to his co-workers, his audience, and friends and family for any embarrassment for humiliation I have caused you.
I had the job of my dreams, and I
lost it due to me
dressing like Orville Redenbacher
during the...
Lost
due to my own lapse in judgment,
he wrote. Please
give me a cup. He wrote that in blood.
Adam A. added that he doesn't apologize
for being gay. He should. I'm kidding. Ah, that in blood. Adam A. added that he doesn't apologize for being gay.
He should.
I'm kidding.
Ah, the homosexuals.
Or sex.
Or being sex positive.
What is that?
Are you positive for AIDS?
It's justification for being a fucking weirdo in front of people.
I know.
You know what?
You can throw me in that category.
I am positive I'm sex positive.
After what I did with my toothbrush last night.
What?
And pleaded with potential future employees to give him a second chance.
You know there's some gay employee going, you're going to have to suck my dick, but
I'll give you another.
Rather than defining him on the salacious video that's only a couple minutes long.
You blew it.
You blew it. You blew it.
How did I not put that in there?
Is this the final story?
Yeah?
Yep.
Final story tonight.
Cause of death vaccine.
Boy, that was short and to the point.
Did I make something up for that one?
No.
Nothing?
I thought I put fucking...
Anyways.
Rory Nairn's cause of death was was vaccine-induced myocarditis.
Myocarditis is what a lot of people experienced after they got the jab, folks.
You get heart problems.
Remember two days ago we did a story, they're putting out a, two days ago, you're on Sunday, Nick?
No, yesterday.
Fize is already putting out a thing
for kids who have myocarditis.
They have a commercial,
but they just blend it in.
They have some girl going,
I want to be an artist when I grow up.
Whatever.
It's hoping you're not going to notice
that they put a...
They created a pill to fucking save people
from the thing that I'm...
They created...
You know what I mean.
Anyways, the coroner has concluded the guy had myocarditis, which is very...
Son of a whore!
Naren, 26 years old, died on November 17th.
This is why I didn't get the shot.
I'm not shitting you.
You don't know!
I've got to talk to Gutfeld again, see if he's changed his mind.
I feel so vindicated that I didn't get this.
And anybody who didn't, I understand there were people who had to travel for business
in the companies like you can and they have kids and shit.
But even then, that is so evil on the company's part.
12 days after receiving his first dose of Pfizer COVID vaccine, he dies.
His death led to a
coronal inquest. Coroner Sue Johnson interviewed several people to establish Naren's health at
the time of the death and to rule out any other underlying causes. Are you interested in the real
story? She better hide. Naren was vaccinated on November 5th at a pharmacy which has interim name suppression.
Oh, folks, that means they're hiding the name of the pharmacy because they killed someone.
It rhymes with P.G.S.
No, I don't know. I have no idea.
On the first day of the coronal inquest.
That sounds dirty.
On the first day of the coronal inquest held in the high courtroom in Dunedin on August,
nobody gives a fuck 30th, the court heard that Naren was initially vaccine hesitant.
According to his fiancee, oh, there you go, Ashley Wilson, Narren decided to get vaccinated so their wedding planned for March
would not face additional gathering limits.
I want to know how much the wife had to do with talking to me.
Come on, honey.
We could have over 250.
I'm not going to get married in front of 10 people.
These are our relatives and friends.
I hear it.
Wilson was asked by the coroner about comments she made,
the fiance, on social media following Naren's death.
She said she'd been in denial about the vaccine's involvement.
So initially, like most people that lied about prior symptoms,
did you lie to your husband about it?
In order to stop the bombardment of posts,
she had lost friends over the death
and her family had been
blown apart over this, apparently.
No, that was the wedding.
They were meant to be married in March
and planned to start a family soon after,
she told the coroner.
That's all gone, she said.
I agree with you.
I think she had probably pressured him,
which is why she got super defensive about denying the vaccine's involvement.
Yeah, I do too.
Again, I'm reading into it, have no pro for that,
but you know how broads are come wedding time.
I was so uninvolved.
That's when I first became so impressed with my wife.
I was so uninvolved
in the planning. She had to send me an invitation
and tell me when it was.
I was busy. I had a softball game.
Anyways, that's all
gone.
I'm supposed to have a button here that says
he's gone
what'd I do
anyhow
before I go
I'd like to thank you people for contributing
to the show
just want to say one more thing though
but people I'm reading every day about dropping dead
high school kids, college kids
I'm telling you folks I don't know what to say.
I want to thank our most recent patrons that signed up at Patreon to support the show.
Joe Frost, I love that name because it's nice and easy.
Anthony Renzi, I love it.
John Bost, United States Marine Corps, Johnny Bost.
Isaiah. Ken Bost. Isaiah.
Ken Bays.
Sounds like a center field for the Pirates in the 70s.
Spencer Hodgson.
Jeremy Evans.
Catherine Clohessy.
Tim Rachels.
Duran Martin, or Doran.
Danny Davis.
For those of you that want to support the show with a one-time
or automated monthly contribution without signing up at Patreon, you can do that at
nickdip.com forward slash podcast and click on the contribution link. You can use a credit card,
debit card, PayPal, Cash App, or Venmo. Thanks to my brilliant wife. Thank you to Jacob Gonzalez,
Or Venmo.
Thanks to my brilliant wife.
Thank you to Jacob Gonzalez, Chris CB, Mark A. Blessing, Paul Sagonella, and our buddy Sean Powell for their generous contributions often.
That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative.
Go to Cameo.com and tell me about the person.
We make a little video.
We send it to them.
Ruin his or her
day or make their day it's usually the case because they're fans um is that it dallas anything else
uh that is it boys and girls except for you people who are monthly subscribers i get to see in a few
minutes anyways you guys think and i'll say it you're very welcome see you back here at the same
time tomorrow Oh, yeah. guitar solo Outro Music