The Nick DiPaolo Show - CBS Rescues Kamala | Nick Di Paolo Show #1635

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about CBS Assists Harris, Crazy plane and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! See Nick Live! 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing It's freedom baby yeah! Hey did you hear shit behind that? Like music? No? Oh my god. We are having some weird difficulties. There's ghosts talking to me in one ear and how are you folks? Wednesday, which is hump day for me in Dallas. You know, what are we October 9th? 9th. How'd that happen happen what happened the first week?

It gets creepy folks for those of you out there. I Noticed it when I hit 30 to 40 I went that one a little too fast and then 40 to 50 I went what the fuck happened 50 to 60 Might as well fucking put me in the coffin. Oh, that's not true. Shut up. I'll decide when to die the coffin oh that's not true shut up I'll decide when to die look at that age spot it's a map of Italy what part of the booty you from hun I got nothing today hope you guys got more real quick I got to mention the storm well actually I have a story on it I don't have to mention but that Milton park I got a brother and a sister who have houses in Naples and even they were told to I don't know if they were told to pack their shit but they said when this hits I you know I yesterday they said it's it's

a five because we know it went from like a three to a five in minutes and then they said by the time it hits which is today they said it would be a three but they said it's gonna hit with such force it's gonna change the West Coast for the state of Florida like forever that's what they're saying who I mean it could be a popcorn fire but I doubt it even the Santas is like get the fuck out of there now there's some lady who's an influencer staying there. Anything for a story. Anything for followers. Your followers will be carrying your fucking coffin if they find you. What is going on? And yeah, I know, don't get into the government's create. Well, they, I don't know. I don't know. But don't give me the shit. These things happen. That's extreme

weather because of global warming. Shut your filthy mouth. The shit's been going on for thousands of years. You can look at it. Joe? Yeah. You just look at it shit, you know ice age move people golfing dinosaurs golfing And as David Letterman once said famously the reason the dinosaurs Disappeared as they couldn't adjust to the metric system That was one of the top ten lists There's some that stick in my mind my favorite one was when the When the Broncos lost to the Giants on the Super Bowl they had top 10 excuses by the Broncos

Like number four was they were pushing and shoving us And the other one was hotel rooms the night before were haunted by the ghost of shamp of shemp. What happened to him? What happened to Howard Stern? You see him? What? He's got a vagina and I hate to say that because he was good to me and he was funny and irreverent and an original and he has and I said before that's what happens when you rely on therapy. They'll turn you into the butter cup that they want you to be. Anyhow, enough of the poo poo and the caca. Hey, Nick, turn this on.

It might help the show. Anyhow, interesting show today. I can't watch any more of Kamala Harris, and I'm just getting nervous how they're saying it's so close. That means that they have a plan that it has nothing to do with this. They just want to make sure it doesn't matter how many people show up for the Dems to vote Dem. It doesn't. They already have a plan to steal this thing. I saw some guy on the internet yesterday. It was just a clip on X. He was in a public forum like a town hall thing.

There was a live audience there and I don't know who was on stage and he just said to whoever he was talking to he goes well when do we start to break out the guns he goes how many of these are going to let them steal which to me is a totally legitimate question I mean if you look at your history that's how wars come about or civil wars the other side has to step up and one side's trampling it and ignoring all the fucking rules anyhow shut up okay I will CBS edits Harris interview this was on 60 minutes to make her look less retarded the Trump campaign called on CBS news is 60 minutes to release its full unedited transcript not even the show just a transcript with Vice President Kamala Harris. 60 Minutes, which Ann Harris' interview Monday night spliced and diced the conversation,

preventing voters from making up their own minds about her answers. So like I said, they have a plan. What we've got here is failure to communicate. On Sunday 60 Minutes teased Kamala's highly anticipated sit-down interview with one of her worst word salads to date which received significant criticism on social media from people on all sides. It's just a it's a consensus. She finally brought us together. We all agree she's fucking retarded. Caroline Levitt, the Trump campaign's national press secretary, wrote in a statement, what I just read, during the full interview on Monday evening, the word salad was deceptively

edited to lessen Kamala's idiotic response. She said, why did 60 Minutes choose not to air Kamala's full word salad, and what else did they choose not to air Kamala's full word salad and what else did they choose not to air? She asked. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. The American people deserve the full unedited transcript from Kamala's sit down interview. We call upon 60 Minutes and CBS to release it.

Oh, I'm sure they'll get right on it. What do they and Kamala have to hide? Good question. Levit question. Here is the unedited and then the edited stuff CBS aired instead. You'll see the first one the actual answer and then we'll show you the second one in black and white to show what they did to it. And how is it? I mean they just get to do it. Nobody's accountable. Nobody nobody nobody shuts them down as a propaganda network they can do whatever they want uh Joe Biden was fucking crashing in the writing so they put her in with no votes and is that how it works your candidate's doing shitty

and polls so you can replace them at the last pretty sure that's unconstitutional not mentioning not to mention flying in illegals to vote in this, all this shit is just fine. So that's why when that guy said, whether we break out the guns, I thought it was a legitimate question. Not saying I'm doing it, not condoning it, but boy, here you go. Here's the edited, the unedited cut. But it seems that Prime Minister Netanyahu is not listening. Well Bill, the work that we have done has resulted in a number of movements in that region by Israel that were very much prompted by or a result of many things including our advocacy for what needs to happen in the region. But it seems that Prime Minister Netanyahu is not listening.

We are not going to stop pursuing what is necessary for the United States to be clear about where we stand on the need for this war to end. Take two. You can hear the director. And action. You fucking believe that? Can you give me a couple examples where the media ever did that for a Republican president ever? Can you? This guy Bill Whitaker actually asked, he was actually good. Follow-up

questions and said, at one point he goes, excuse me that was not the question I asked, and then he said, but in the real world he actually said that you got a CBS guy at 60 minutes you couldn't find them all left-wing show or network actually badgering this dope it's an insult I'll say it again to the American public to their intelligence that she has to be anywhere near the fucking job of president of the United it's embarrassing god I wish I had those shoes I love those shoes anyways speaking of nuts let's move on to just playing crazy that's playing spelled like an airplane clever bitch did you did you hear did Papa Murphy's has a great deal on summer selects.

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I got caught stealing some atmosphere out of the fridge. Aircraft Operations Center shows a research plane violently shaken. They call it a research plane. I call it spared airlines violently shaking like somebody having a seizure in the cockpit from heavy turbulence as it flew directly into Hurricane Milton they're not funny this is the most badass hurricane ever one of them just gonna name like a rich waspy

guy I say that I'm gonna take those trailer parks and throw them away. Watch out Milton's coming Hey, that was pretty good. I Say there You don't need that. You don't want to live in that double wide do you the view from the passenger side window of Miss Piggy? again my girlfriend's name in high school Is that the plane it doesn't look like a big you'd think it would look like a 130 or a c17 whatever to fuck those big bellied

That doesn't look that tough The view from the passenger side window of Miss Piggy Fucking Jim Henson production the Lockheed WP3D Orion aircraft shows the plane flying through an impenetrable gray sky as it's pounded by blistering rain. And then it says, bumpy ride into hurricane, hashtag Milton, but the operations center wrote on PostOnex, the agency said the purpose of the trip,

the trip was to collect data for hurricane really you got to fly through it I could look up and go rain and some serious wind what are you gonna find in there a guy going like this with a terrible towel hurricane research and help improve the storms forecast all right just don't get mad when one of these things I don't understand I can be in a plane and we hit a little fuck and we hit the wake of another plane and it knocks you silly.

But you can fly right through this fucker? Come on now. Inside the plane were at least four drunken NOAA researchers. Had to be forced on at gunpoint. No, if you guys want to see what it looks like inside the plane to fly through a vicious hurricane, here's a little bit of footage for you. That's when American Airlines brings out the piping hot soup.

George McDonough used to say, one of my favorite committees ever. This is not the agency's first rodeo. Our NOAA WP-3D Orion aircraft have been flying into storms for almost fifty years. said Jonathan Shannon, public affairs specialist for NOAA aircraft operations center. Shannon said these missions are necessary because their scientists

cannot get this important data our forecasters need at this scale and resolution any other way. Well, let me ask you this, if it's so important you're gathering so much data and you've done these things for years, why are we still having them? What are you doing with the data? You motherless fucks. Nick, come on. Oh, shut up anyways I don't know that I have the

balls to do that at some point are we gonna feel bad if they're playing you know went into a death slide a barrel roll are we gonna kind of giggle oh they love what they're doing they love at least they died loving what they were doing shit in their pants hanging on to a wing I don't know what information you can get I know atmospheric all that stuff I just think I don't know I'm just a girl and I wouldn't do it that's all I'm saying well Nick that sucks this yeah well fucking sue me anyways let's move on. The voice in my head, you just heard it. Scientists believe they've discovered where the voices heard by some people

with schizophrenia emanate from using brain wave mapping. There is Kamala's head filled with Mr. Planner peanuts. She's looking back at her own brain. And she hears this, Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello thing of this whole article. New York University has a campus in Shanghai? Or do we have one in New York where it's all Asians pretending to be white people? The way people experience auditory hallucinations may not be that different from the way

humans hear external sounds. Because these voices are processed like any other sound in the brain. Is it really? Even if it's already in there? It's being processed as if you heard it from an external source? I don't get it. I'm questioning your hypothesis. That's right. A C student, University of Maine. I like any other sound in the brains of people who experience auditory hallucinations. The team at NYU Shanghai's Institute of Brain and Cognitive Science, I used to return punts

for them, full scholarship, decided to put electroencephalogram, that's brain, EEG monitors on people with schizophrenia Kamala Harris was there Joe Biden and hunter 20 participants who hear voices and 20 who don't to see what was the difference about their brains And it was very easy the ones that were hallucinating had their brains bashed in by their dads Is okay if she's crazy and she looks like that I want her this broad can imagine that the crazy ones in bed what's better than that hang them from a ceiling fan at the motel spinning around peeing the Budweiser you fed him I think I've said

that on stage every day as the research has discovered it appeared that the brains of those who experience audio hallucinations, you know, crazy homeless, failed to fire off the corollary discharge. Oh, you ever smell the corollary discharge? Signal, which silences our inner monologues. I didn't know we had any to be silenced. And prepares our bodies to hear sounds

coming out of our own mouths. And you can hear shit like this. If you silence the inner monologue, then you can hear shit like this. You're fucking crazy. Oh, don't. All right. It's doing a herky-jerky thing. While they prepared to say a syllable aloud per the scientist's instructions, the hallucinating

group not only didn't turn off their inner monologues, I just picture somebody in there going to be or not to be, so to speak, but also had what seemed to be a hyperactive response to what's known as efference copy, a brain signal that instructs the motor functions associated with vocalizing. Translation, let me clean it up for you. Audio hallucinations activate the sound processing part of the brain while also impairing some of the motor functions associated with speaking. As a result, this seems to be a breakdown in the way people who have auditory hallucinations

process their own thoughts which ultimately leads them to externalize them as outside sounds or voices You can get rid of all of that with two Advil p.m.. I'm telling you fucking knock that shit right out of there But I remember doing Horace and Pete remember Louis CK did this brilliant he shot it like a Broadway play it was a series of like 14 episodes or whatever but Steve Bishimi played a guy with schizophrenia and in the and they were having a dialogue in that show where Louis characters discussing the schizophrenia with him and and and the Sheenies character goes you know he goes yeah I, yeah, I know I have schizophyte. He goes right now

He goes I think I'm talking to you, but I could be in a deli swinging an axe right now that sent shivers through my head That's Louie That's how bright that fucking that look that like summed it up for me. I remember watching that scene going holy shit That is that the best way that really is the best way if you're crazy to kind of describe that yeah I'm sitting here talking to you right now but I could be in a you know chasing some girl in a high school bathroom with a knife sounds kind of fun actually am I right sure a lot of famous people at Cuckoo though. James Taylor, the singer, spent many years in the nuthouse. Can you imagine that guy with that nice soothing voice?

He's throwing shit at his wife, no shirt on. I'm trying to think of one of his songs, but I can't. Anyhow, any heat. For those of you guys right now on Mug Club, stick around for the rest of I'm trying to think of one of the songs but I can't. Anyhow, any heat. For those of you guys right now on Mug Club, stick around for the rest of the show. The rest of you guys go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club. You'll get my entire show, Steven Crowder's entire show, Alex Jones pops in now and then. Most of all you get the undercover team where they go undercover with those hidden cameras and they get somebody very

important drunk and they put a pretty girl in front of that person and the guys egos take over and they stop bragging yeah like they they remember they a couple weeks ago that guy that was in charge of the lockdown in new york city during covid was bragging about how he's having sex parties he's toast they do that and they're sitting on a couple more big ones, I am told by Crowder himself. So when you're at nickdip.com also click on my tour button you'll see November 9th which is basically a month away, a month away from tomorrow or today. Today is the 9th. Today. One month from now Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. I have to take a helicopter in there from the Des Moines Airport.

I can't wait. I love to go to places I haven't played before. You never know what's going to happen anyways. Also later in the show, for you guys that are sticking around, I've got a couple interesting stories. Update on that Deadspin story. Remember the little kid that went to a Chiefs game with a black and red on his face? But the deadspin black journalist

just took a picture of him with just a black face and said something about how his parents taught him to hate black and Indians at one. Remember that? And the family sued. Well, a judge gave the thumbs up that that that lawsuit can go on boy does it move slow the wheels of justice you just get into that now right and he was the kid was you know native and he was a Nate he had Native American blood in him right you're right or did he have native a Native American blood on him Denise didn't he actually stab a little Indian girl? According to Deadspin. And also, a couple of Harvard students, I think they were Asian from the clip.

You know those smart glasses that fucking Zuckerberg invented? Well, they found a creepy way to use those. And you're not going to miss that. That one sent the chill up my ass. And no, guys, it's not looking through girls' clothes. We all sent away those. What a jip.

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