The Nick DiPaolo Show - Clock Ticking On TikTok | Nick Di Paolo Show #1351
Episode Date: February 9, 2023US Looking to Ban TikTok. Factual Mask Study. Disney Pushes Racist Propaganda Hard. Get bonus content by joining Nick on Patreon! www.patreon.com/thenickdipaoloshow Go see Nick live! www.nickdip.com/t...our for tickets! Â
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🎵 Uh-oh, retard alert!
Retard alert!
Welcome to the morning zoo, I'm Bubba.
And that's my sidekick, Dradle Worm.
What?
Ooh.
How you doing, folks?
Welcome to the final show
of the week.
I'm your host,
Body by Jake.
You know,
what?
Remember that guy,
Jake Seinfeld or something?
Probably not.
You're just a little,
ugh.
He had all these infomercials
in the 80s.
And he wasn't even ripped. He was just a big
bulky guy who knew a lot of people in Hollywood. And he trained people. And he didn't even have a
good body and shit. He was just a fucking sort of the MyPillow guy of fucking celebrity workout guys.
He started all that horse shit. Guy comes home with a bouquet of flowers
for his wife.
I guess I'll have to spread my legs now, she says.
Why, he asks.
Don't you have a vase?
My favorite part of that whole joke,
why he asks.
Why he asks.
Instead of saying,
he goes, why?
All right, folks.
Enough of the horse shit.
Don't.
What do I want to talk about?
I'll get into it.
I had blood drawn.
Do you want to save that for the second story?
Yeah, yeah.
I'm just teasing it, honey.
It's called a tease in the business.
And I got into it with a young black nurse. By saying get into it, I don't mean into
a fucking love hold. You know what I'm talking about? Still making me put a mask on. Mother
fuck. That's like saying do push-ups right now. You might as well tell me to take a dump on the
floor in the lobby of the fucking doctor's office.
It's that silly to me.
It's one of those because I said so.
It's one thing, like I said a couple years ago,
when we didn't know,
but now we know, mask completely.
It's been proven a thousand times, all that shit.
The whole thing was handled wrong,
and they're still making you do the fucking dance. I'll get to that in a few minutes. Long story short, I ended up at the Sheriff's
Hortono. I kid. What do you think this is, Mississippi burning? I live in Georgia. Don't Did you eat a lot of tabbouleh in the Middle East?
Did you?
I had it, not a lot.
Oh, okay.
I've been living on that lately.
Tabbouleh, you know, it's the fucking Middle Eastern.
You put bulgur wheat in it and, you know, tomatoes, cucumber.
It's really good.
It goes through you. You pass
stuff from third grade.
Crayons and fucking
Corinne Conway's hair that I ate.
I ate, I'd say,
enough for a family of five last night.
One in the morning, by the way.
Anyways, you don't need to hear the details.
I'm just killing time
until I die.
What's the first story?
Clock ticking on TikTok.
It's about time.
Legislatures have introduced a bill 40 years too late to ban TikTok from being downloaded on U.S. devices after enacting a ban.
Excuse me.
I feel a burp coming on.
And no, I'm not going to hide it.
What the hell was that?
Tabooli.
It smells like Pakistan in here.
Hey!
When did we get the Karachi?
After enacting a ban on the video sharing app
for government devices.
So in other words, people that work for the government
can't have TikTok on the app.
They already banned it for them. They did that in December. Good move.
Unless you're Ting Pauling. Just banning the app on government devices is not enough.
TikTok provides a backdoor for the CCP, Chinese Communist Party, to spy on all Americans.
That's why we need to ban TikTok on all U.S. devices, Senator Josh Hawley, Republican, Missouri said.
I wonder if he's going to come out to see me at the Kansas City Comedy Club.
He looks like a Muppet.
He looks like the sports guy on the Muppet, whatever, or the news guy.
I don't know.
He's good, though.
This guy's got a real hate on for the left.
Hawley's No TikTok on Government Devices Act unanimously passed the Senate in December and was enacted the same month.
The No TikTok on Government Devices Act, of course, applies only to government devices.
Yeah, we got that in the name, fuckstain.
With limited exceptions and not to ordinary citizens.
Bipartisan concern about the app
owned by CCP-controlled parent company.
Remember Biden was on TikTok a couple months ago
doing a campaign or whatever the fuck.
Can you imagine?
He's the most compromised president ever.
They sent that balloon over going,
we get this guy by the balls, who cares?
He ain't gonna shoot it down until it's too late.
Bingo.
By tendons.
The CCP controlled parent company is called By Tendons.
By dance.
Oh, By Dance.
By Tendons. Wow. Well. Byte Dance. Oh, Byte Dance. Byte Dance. Byte Tendence.
Wow.
Well, it's not really my fault.
They're combining two words that fucking don't go.
Put a dash between Byte and Dance, you jinx.
I just noticed the word Byte stuck out at me.
Byte Dance is growing.
Byte Dance, that's what I did at my prom.
Anyways, TikTok is now working with U.S. intelligence folks.
They are?
Seriously?
To try to make sure that the proper precaution.
Now, when they say TikTok's working, do they mean the Chinese people that own TikTok are working with us?
Or the people that run TikTok in this country?
I think it's the U.S.
It has to be.
Are taken so the Chinese cannot
get access to
chihuahuas and cats for their broccoli and
fucking ching spout special.
Nick, that's so... I don't give
a rat's ass. And use it
for spying. Senator
Cory Booker, asshole
from New Jersey, told Face the Dirty Nation host
Margaret Brennan, who's in her late 70s and has cobwebs in her ass crack. Senator Hawley
and Rep Ken Buck, Republican Colorado. Kenny, how are you, you big dink? Introduced legislation
to, it's banned, it's stuck together, it's cut off
to ban TikTok on all US devices
on January 25th
I don't think the Chinese liked it
this lady's pissed, you can hear it
hey
bullshit, that broccoli is on the dot
oh no
more duck sauce.
TikTok. Any other Chinese stupid hack references?
Yeah, Zip Ahead, Yellow Eye.
TikTok is a clear threat to our privacy and national security.
Not only is TikTok directly associated with Chinese Communist Party,
but it has been used to spy on Americans
and gain an alarming level of access to users' phones,
Rep. Buck said in a statement.
This should concern every citizen
who values their privacy, security, except Madonna.
She'll show her snatch for a fucking tuna sandwich.
And personal information,
banning CCP-tied TikTok nationwide
is the only route to ending this malicious cybersecurity threat.
Buck continued until somebody told him to shut up.
All right, get up!
The Guardian, that's the paper in England,
characterized recent TikTok squelching developments
as the West turning on Gen Z's favorite app.
Of course, that's how the UK would see it.
Fucking, they're to the left of the Chinese Communist Party.
Yeah, squelching their favorite app.
In a piece on Sunday, in the article, the authors describe ongoing U.S. and European efforts
to overhaul data privacy laws in light of concerns the CCP could
or is already accessing citizen-sensitive
data. Well, I think the balloon pretty much put a nail in that argument, didn't it?
Meanwhile, an undeterred state farm, what, the insurance company, is plotting, that's right,
is plotting a Super Bowl campaign featuring TikTok star Cammby Lame alongside Jake from State Farm.
He's a big girl, by the way.
You don't have to get that personal, Aaron.
Oh, he's showing up in locker rooms.
Ad Age reported Sunday,
the marketing play involves a contest in which entrance guests
the number of times State Farm Stadium is mentioned during the game.
The winner is awarded a chance to appear
in a video with Cabby.
Oh, God.
Wow.
I know I'm old, but come on.
Jake, take a hike.
You know the original Jake from State Farm
is a white guy, right?
Unbelievable.
Well, State Farm's like, fuck you.
I don't care.
We're in bed with the Chinese.
We're playing with them anyways.
Biden's blowing them.
Let's see if anything changes when DeSantis takes over.
I'm curious.
I think everybody, you know how I feel, folks.
Everybody's in on this.
I don't know what to tell you. I wish there was a commercial right now, but stayed from
in my show.
The fuck was that?
Sounded like me unclogging my kitchen sink.
State Farm is there.
State Farm is there. State Farm is there.
That's a stupid, it's not even funny, the thing, you know,
with, you don't have to get that personal.
It's not even, it stinks.
They just force it down your throat.
Let's move on.
Masquerade.
Mask-A-raid, get it?
From rape victims being denied care for not wearing the dirty face diapers
to crying children being dragged off planes and teens being handcuffed in school.
Remember all that shit happening during COVID?
The masking regime was perhaps the most barbaric, inhumane, and illogical idea
ever can see by government and permeating the so-called private
sector. What it was, folks, was an experiment by Big Brother to see just how far we would go
to comply with their horseshit, because they're tyrants, and they can't wait to take your fucking
life over from the time you get up to the time you go to bed. They're almost there, by the way,
but shit like this, this whole COVID thing was a goddamn experiment. You can blow me if you believe
otherwise. I hope there's a lot of pretty
doubters. There is no
time like the present to bury this
evil forever, whoever wrote this said, and I
agree. We knew, and Fauci
knew from day one, based on
ten, ten randomized
control trials of the flu
that masks never
fucking worked. You're the fucking that masks never fucking worked.
Problem? You're the fucking problem.
Exactly.
You fucking Dr. Y onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble.
I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me,
I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.
I promise you.
Not this time.
I have a story that I'll get to in a second
that I teased at the top of the show.
I pretty much told you the story.
I fucked up.
Yet three years later, the information concerning the harms and ineffectiveness is so solid,
is what I just said, it's time for every state legislator to ban permanently any mandate
anywhere forever with the threat of criminal penalties so that this never happens again.
Sadly, only a few states have meaningful protections in place, even for school children.
It is disgusting how long this was going on in schools, in deep red states,
and to this day, people are still being forced to wear them in hospitals in all states.
Florida intends to ban it with legislative sessions, when legislative
sessions begin. Bye-bye. Here's where I went to get blood yesterday to, you know, I'm having a
physical next week and they take your blood before so the doctor can see what's up. By the way, I got
the results today. Pretty cool, man, with that, you know, whatever. And I'm sure it's
probably somebody else's results but picture of a nine-year-old Chinese
lady. All my shit was in the normal range. You guys remember my hemoglobin was
through the roof about a month ago because of my testosterone therapy. Normal was 300 to 900. Mine was 2,000 or something, which is like silly putty.
So my doc, I love how dark is how casual they are. He's, oh, you better give blood, you know.
Well, well, you can have a stroke. Oh, thanks. So I went and gave a fucking couple pints, remember?
And so I looked at all my shit today. All I know is that. And they send you a thing, and it's all, again, like a military guy.
BCL 0.15.
NQS.
What the fuck?
Give me a chart what that means.
I saw hemoglobin.
The rest of it is just abbreviations.
And all I know is I checked the numbers.
Everything fell in the
mid-range. So that's pretty
good for a guy in his late 80s.
Anyways,
yeah, so I go in, young black
girl comes in. First of all,
they tell me to put on my mask
when I check in.
This ain't a hospital.
It's a building where, like, my primary
care physician, I don't think that's considered a, whatever.
Signs everywhere to put on a mask and shit.
I go to check in.
She goes, grab a mask for me, please.
I don't like their tone right off the bat.
So I grab it, and I go sit down, and I don't put it on.
I put it on my lap.
And then after 15 minutes, young black nurse comes out,
calls my name.
And I left it on my chair.
I left my mask.
She goes, you got to put a mask on right when you get in the room, you know.
And I go, I'm allergic to the material.
I just felt like lying.
I go, it gives me a rash all over my face.
Thinking she was going to go, OK, you know, it's only going to take a second.
But no, you know.
I said, give me a paper towel. I said, if you But no, you know. I said, give me a paper towel.
I said, if you're going to be adamant about it, give me a paper towel and I'll hold over my face.
I can't do that.
I can't do it.
And then she gets all, she goes from zero to 60.
She goes, you can go to CVS and have this done.
And that's when she pissed me off.
And that, you know, angry black attitude because nobody's ever questioned her
in her life because she's a young black girl.
You can go to CVS and have this done in that town.
You know?
And I go, no, I'm not going to go to CVS.
She goes, then I'm going to
go, then I'm not doing this.
She storms out, and I know
they're going to send in whoever the tough nurse is
now. It's like good cop, bad cop.
It's like the ID network. I'm a murderer. They're going to question me. And then nurse is now. It's like good cop, bad cop. It's like the ID network.
I'm a murderer.
They're going to question me.
And then she comes about, sure enough, rugged chick.
I don't think she was black, light-skinned, whatever.
Still a minority.
And, you know, I was just nice as pie just to make the other girl look like,
yeah, sure.
She goes, you got to pull it up over your nose.
And I said, you know, this is bullshit.
I'm like, you know, this is bullshit.
Sir, I work for the U.S. government. And I said, yeah, that's what Hitler's men said. Seriously. I go, you know, this is bull. I'm like, you know, this is bullshit, sir. I worked for the U S government. And I said, yeah, that's what Hitler's men said.
Seriously. I go, you know, this is bullshit. Even when the CDC was recommended, that's what it was
a recommendation, you know, whatever. So anyways, I go, whatever. She grabs my left arm and she's
looking for a vein. And just out of curiosity I said you guys always
use the left arm but she's got this mentality because the other girl told
her I was a pain in the ass she's like why do you want the other arm and she
grabs my out my right arm and slams it on the thing like like angry like and I
go no I was just asking a question no this is fine this is I mean like I meant
these are people that working in the health industry.
I could see their face when young black girls have
to wait on a white guy my age.
I could just see the joy just leave their eyes.
Anyhow, so I pick her up and body slam her.
I hear her neck break.
She's shitting her pants.
And I left, giggling.
No, anyway, so they drew my blood.
Turns out half of it's ragu and ginger dressing is the other.
Anyways, all right, let's get right back to the story, folks.
I'm sure you're drooling on what really happened.
Are you interested in the real story?
Oh, yes. A new randomized control trial with a sample size of 40,000 children wearing masks in community settings in Guinea-Bissau.
Yeah, it's French for dirty, greasy Italian.
Showed that the control group actually did
slightly better. In other words, the people that weren't wearing masks, right? That's the control
group. Did slightly better, not statistically significant, than the masked group.
I wish I had this article on me when I went in there yesterday. I don't think they could read anyways.
We already knew that masks do not stop spread,
but some posited a bizarre theory that they could reduce viral load.
How many times have I heard that?
And therefore, excuse me, you're talking about masks or condoms,
therefore help with critical illness.
Instead,
the study results showed eight hospitalizations with COVID-like illness in the mass groups compared to only three in the people without masks, and 57 all-cause deaths in the mass group
compared to 32 in the control group. Do you need any more evidence? The study did not differentiate the causes of death,
but clearly there was no benefit.
The study was conducted between July of 2020
and January of 2021.
Here we are in 2023, three fucking years later,
and they're still jerking you around.
This was before any vaccination,
so questions of vaccine efficacy or negative efficacy playing a role in confounding the study of mass efficacy were not applicable.
In other words, people, well, he was vaccinated.
That's why he didn't, you know.
The results were posted in the prestigious Lancet, which I used to write for.
Terrific magazine.
I did a spread in there, a naked spread.
I was in a hot tub with Kevin James and his wife.
What?
I don't know.
The study was published around the same time that a new rigorous Cochrane analysis,
they're the best, of 11 RCTs and a total of 78 studies.
So it's quite a sample is my point.
With 600,000 people concluded wearing masks in the community probably makes little or
no difference to the outcome of the influenza-like illness.
Okay, but they won't admit they're frigging wrong.
Prove that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're
wrong.
Well done, Quint.
Chief. Oh, yeah Quint. Chief.
Oh, yeah.
Ladies and gentlemen.
I'll always do that.
What's that say?
Long Island COVID?
Sure.
It just says L.I. COVID.
19. Like illness.
These
fucking lights, man.
19, like illness compared to not wearing masks.
The author's officer found there is no evidence of efficacy of mask wearing against contracting
the flu or COVID.
So the next time somebody tells you to put a mask on, say, call the cops, like Uncle
Junior did on The Sopranos when they made him get in a wheelchair to leave the hospital, and he wouldn't.
The nurse goes, it's protocol.
He goes, call the cops.
And then a big black doctor comes out.
He sits right down.
Disney's, let's move on to the final story.
Disney's disingenuous dog shit dogma.
This, I call that alliteration.
Alliteration.
Christopher's alliteration.
This is a scene from a Disney Plus kids cartoon called The Proud Family.
As you know, Disney is part of what they call MKUltra or the brainwashing, the new order
shit, whatever you want to call it, the people that make you wear masks, that team.
That's all you need to know.
Disney's part of it with their propaganda, indoctrinating your kids.
Every time your kids are crying and you throw them in the back of the minivan and put a fucking iPad in front of them,
they watch something like this and ingest it.
And by the time they're in third grade, you've got a hateful little cocksucker on your hand.
How about that?
Disney's evil.
They're a fucking cult.
I've been screaming it from the top of my lungs forever.
I can't even get a nut off to the goddamn cartoons anymore.
What?
What are you? Huh?
Let's take a look at this Disney cartoon
for your kids. People
say, some people, like
me, say, I guess it's kind of anti-white.
Gee, you tell me.
Go ahead.
This country was built
on slavery. Fuck off, bitch. Slaves built this country. Tilled this land from sea to sea to sea. First country was built on slavery. Fuck off, bitch.
Slaves built this country.
Tilled this land from sea to sea to sea.
First there was rice, tobacco, sugar cane.
Then Whitney did his thing and cotton became cane.
And we were its soldiers.
Four million strong.
Fighting for a million for freedom.
I like how black people actually believe they built the country.
They had a good hand in it.
But I remember my fucking grandmother and grandfather
and a whole bunch of people looked just like them
and Germans and fucking Irish.
I remember them dying, digging tunnels in New York
and falling off skyscrapers and shit.
So anyway, black people, get the fuck over yourself.
Go ahead.
Even though we remained America's slaves,
built this country,
the descendants of slaves continue to build this country. Slaves built this country. Even their cartoons are angry.
Their animated shit are filled with hate.
Let me tell you, white people, they hate you so fucking much.
And it's the one thing that's not talked about.
They are the most racist race ever.
Period.
Bar fucking none.
They hate you with the fucking, all of them, 99%.
Even the ones that do them well
fucking hate you.
I know this.
How do you know?
Because I do.
I got an A in hatred.
Anyways, this is what your kids
are going to watch,
thanks to Disney.
Go ahead.
And we, the descendants of slaves in America,
have earned reparations for their suffering.
Suck my ass. To earn reparations for their suffering. Suck my ass.
And continue to earn reparations every moment we spend subversive.
Wash my car.
Systemic prejudice, racism, and white supremacy.
That America was founded with and still has not atoned for.
Slaves built this country.
Not only field hands, but carpenters, mazes.
Blacksmiths, musicians.
Inventors built cities from Jamestown to New Orleans to Banneker.
Washington.
Forty acres and a mill
We'll take the 40 acres, keep the mill
We'll make our city great
From the southern plantation airs
To the northern bankers
Alright, shut up, shut up, shut up
White power, 1, 2, 3, 4
It's time to watch my country
Going down the drain
We are all at fault now
We are all to blame
We're nothing but took over
We just let them come
Once we had an empire
And now we've got a slum
There's something wrong with the black man's mind
There's something wrong with his mind
New England ship owners.
We paused it on that.
Everybody's in on it.
Everybody's guilty.
Everybody.
That's Disney.
That's a cartoon meant for your little kids, by the way.
Let them ingest that.
Why don't you?
Can I just make a suggestion to the, I don't know how many people are watching.
Don't bring your kids.
Don't buy anything Disney.
Whatever the fuck.
Isn't that Lion King? Isn't that Disney too?
All that horse shit.
Glad I didn't have kids, I'm sorry.
Two things I'm happy about, my two biggest choices, not getting a jab and not having kids.
That's how you get kids, you jab.
Who's with me?
Anyhow, yeah, boycott the fucks.
Why don't I hear that?
Somebody do a white version of that, please.
Just blaming black people for crime and murder and whatever.
And again, the fucking libs of the world will go, yeah, but that's because of slavery.
I mean, there was Jim Crow up until 19.
You guys been...
It's funny.
You're not the only race that's been oppressed.
You're the only one that hasn't overcome it.
Why is that?
We don't want to talk about that.
Anyways, that sounded horrible.
Yet very true.
Quick impression of my wife when she saw
me take my pants off.
Anyhow, that's it.
Boys and girls, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't forget to go to Cameo.com if you'd like me to roast a relative or a friend.
Go to Cameo.com. Click on my profile.
Tell me, but it'll tell you how to do it. It tells you. You give me a little information on the person, and I make a video on my phone a minute long or so. Actually, I do have a lot of coffee. I talk
for a couple minutes sometimes. But give me some information. Don't do what some people do.
Yeah, his name's Bill. He's got red hair hair and he's a mailman. Have at it.
What? Alright.
What else? That's all I can think of.
Go to nickdip.com
for my tour dates.
I've got a little break before I do my next one
in Kansas City. The Kansas City Comedy Club.
Is that what it's called? Missouri. Which I love.
Just a meat and potatoes room
run by a comic. It's very
enjoyable. That's it.
You guys think, and I'll say you're very welcome.
You guys have a great weekend.
We'll see you on Monday.
Bye.
Hi.
Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music