The Nick DiPaolo Show - Corona Deaths, Trump's Approval Ratings Peaking | Nick Di Paolo Show #331

Episode Date: April 9, 2020

The "squad" fighting for immigrants. Trump might look into Joe Exotic pardon. The GOAT on Gronk's girth. Thank you "The Unapologetic Cripple" for you "Ask Nick!" question and for your support on Patreon! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hello, I'm Mike Lindell. My pillow, you just look at it, you pass out. It's a fucking magic pillow. Invented by a guy who was on crack. Pretty ironic. We never sleep. Anyways, guys, just want to say that this is the show right now. People are starving for it, obviously. the thing's growing like we hoped it would and you know why that is nowhere else can you hear the truth i deliver the news that stuff's right out of the papers right off the websites but we make it funny and entertaining we know you guys are locked in your house and you need some relief and people trump's approval ratings are up even during this pandemic so things are looking up and I really

can't thank you guys enough as you know we've gone free a couple weeks ago Monday through Thursday so we need you to contribute as much as you can at nickdip.com you can make a single one-time contribution and if you want to do more you can sign up at patreon.com. And that's a monthly subscription and you'll get an extra story every day that nobody else gets. You will get access to over 300 shows in our archives

and you'll get to ask me a question, which we'll include on the show. Also, if you are a business owner, I know things are tough right now, but when they start to clear up, if you want to be a sponsor on the show, we've taken a couple on since this pandemic hit. So it's a great way to get your message out as far as your product to people who think like you, that are for free speech and for the American way. We all want to get back to work.

I can't wait to get on stage again. I'm climbing the walls. But you guys make this possible. to get back to work. I can't wait to get on stage again. I'm climbing the walls. But you guys make this possible. So we thank you for that. That's about it. So what I want you to do right now is to enjoy the show.

So enjoy. We'll be right back. Yeah. Yeah. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. Thursday, which is the last day of the work week for me and Raz. Although he has kids, so it just starts when he gets home. We've got to deal with that shit. That's what you call a man. I'm what you call a man-child. I've got a dog. I can kick that around. I've got to put the picture of the fucking cutest fucking dog I got a dog. I can kick that around. I got to put the picture

of the fucking cutest fucking dog I've ever seen. Look. Anyways, how are you folks? Hope you're corona free. Thank you again

for all the support with the daily contributions at nickdip.com and for you guys signing up at Patreon and the people who sponsor this show making this possible

as you know we go free four days a week now and the show is growing like we planned on it can't thank you guys enough and I hope you're getting through this because the shit hits home it hit home with my family believe it or not the old

coronavirus we make a lot of jokes about it and stuff and i will continue to just like i do all time as jokes my dad's dying from that because he would like it that way he used to laugh at old people who can remember shit told he saw an old lady fall in mcdonald's parking lot on ice he laughed he was fucking crying he also got out and helped her up and, you know, that's the difference. I would have stayed in the car and leaned on the horn. Yeah, I was a bit of a prick, as you know that, but anyways, yeah. Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be

disliked. Well, I'm not pretending bob so you're being a very negative mr dipalo yeah run through a motherfucker face anyways just random sounds now you're welcome to the show now you just can't leave i just can't leave uh so what was i talking about oh coronavirus hitting hitting my family uh i get a lot of i get sisters who are in the in the medical field i i got i should say sister and i i got uh you know uh nieces and they're on the front lines of this stuff the my my niece uh nicole runs the nursing home where my dad is and this is brooke Nicole runs the nursing home where my dad is, and this is Brooke.

Hey, Rez, where are you going? You want to get home to your fucking kids? Really, that bad? This is my niece, Brooke Bevan. Look at her. First of all, she looks like a supermodel. Could have been a supermodel. You know what?

Straight-A student, high school and college. She's now a registered nurse. And we found out, I guess my sister found out last night, that she tested positive. She's had symptoms for like three days. But she is one of the people I admire most in our family. Probably the smartest. Like I said, straight-A student. In high school when her friends were out partying and shit. She was home studying and stuff. Didn't take guys too seriously. Figured us out in a second, the fucking weasels that we are

apparently, you know, dated intermittently, but always in face in a book. And I never had a nurse that looked like that. Not to get creepy here. I'm just saying. Oh, mine look like fucking John Madden. Let me stick to something. But she, she has it. She tested positive and let's, she's, those guys are the heroes, the frontline people. We've been saying that. So let's give her a round of applause. And she'll beat it. She has DiPaolo blood in her. And she's young and she's female. That helps. But we take it for granted.

And the same, like I said, my niece, Nicole, that runs the nursing home, for crying out loud. I don't know how they're doing it, you know. But, Brooke, we're praying for you. I'm not that worried because, you know, tough as nails and smart as hell. And, you know, everybody on the front, we take it for granted. The supermarket people. How about those people? Just went to the bodega to get cigarettes and the lady's dressed like she's about to do surgery on somebody.

The rubber gloves. I go, what are you doing back there? You're selling deli sandwiches and doing prostate exams? No, I don't do that. I don't do that. I have not seen. So funny. I think she wants me dead as much as she likes me.

The minute I walk in, she slaps cigarettes on the thing. No matter what. I go, I already bought some. Anyways, let's get right to it donald trump let me tell you something folks here's how you know the media is full of shit the mainstream media and um most of americans are smart enough except for the ones that still watch fucking anderson cooper Fucking Anderson Cooper and, you know, Rachel Maddow and all the other idiots on NBC, ABC, CBS. You know who you are. But anyways, Trump's economic approval rating hits highest level ever.

So what do you think of that? It's people are fucking wise enough. I am your voice and this is keep in mind with negative press going you know they're all focusing on oh he should have acted earlier blah blah blah nobody's fucking buying it the guy's been on tv every day handling this thing blocked flights from, which all these same assholes in the mainstream media called him a bigot and a racist.

And he was calling it China virus. So was everybody on CNN when it first came out and on MSNBC. Just look for the clips. Go ahead, make fun of fucking Fox News, but it's the closest thing to the truth you'll get out there.

Coronavirus pandemic has thrown the American economy into deep contraction, sent unemployment soaring. But Americans approve of President Donald Trump's handling of the crisis. Approval for President Trump's handling of the economy rose to 52 percent, the highest level of his presidency. CNBC's All-America survey showed that it's up from 49% in December. The survey of 800 Americans was taken between Friday and Monday. Trump's overall approval rating jumped as well to 46% from 40%, his overall approval rating, in this mess. And that's when getting negative press 93% of the time since you become president from the mainstream media.

That's an actual statistic. Okay? The Mueller hoax, the Russian hoax, the fucking impeachment, Kavanaugh, all that shit. And his approval rating is going up during a pandemic. It gets even better. Trump's even scoring higher marks. Get this. This will put a chill up.

Everybody's from Democrats. His job approval rating rose to 20 percent among Democrats, a record high and up from 8 percent in December. That's going to scare the shit out of Biden and everybody else. But don't worry, Democrats. Biden's not going to be the guy. Sorry, Democrats. Biden's not going to be the guy. And you got CNN, the mainstream media on your side, and you got all of social media, you know, fucking quieting the voices of people like me. So you'll be fine come election time. The survey results show the economic contraction due to the virus has been severe. But Americans remain optimistic. Fifty one percent say they expect the economy to approve in the next year. Forty nine percent expect the economy to return to normal in the next few months. Put me in that category.

When this shit clears up, people are going to go haywire. They're going to go haywire. People, there's two thoughts, two opinions on this. People say, no, it might never be. I don't think so. We're social creatures by nature. When this shit clears up and we get the green light, you don't think bars and restaurants are going to be packed i am dying to go to world of beer every day at four o'clock and have a shot of jack and a beer

oh my god uh and and you know how the economy is roaring before all this hit anyways americans are not blaming donald trump for trump's job hit anyways americans are not blaming donald trump for trump's job rating uh americans are not blaming trump for trump's job rating rose in the poll that makes no sense in that sentence every day these fuckers don't with more americans approving of his handling of the presidency than disapproving for the first time in his three years. It's been tracked by CNBC. His approval, by the way, that's CNBC, not exactly a right-wing outlet. His approval rating jumped to 46%

from 40% in December with a six-point decline in disapproval to 43%. I mean, if I'm a Democrat, that would scare the shit out of me. They're like, we're doing everything we can. We lie about this motherfucker

around the clock. But even like, we're doing everything we can. We lie about this motherfucker around the clock. But even like, who came out? Even Bernie Sanders even said it's, Corona's not Trump's fault. Good old Bernie. But I mean, wow. Highest approval rating since he's been in office. I think that means he's done a pretty decent job.

Despite all the good news for Trump, as you know this is the peak week this and next week uh they said you know the deaths are going to skyrocket which they are uh not to the extent that these models said they were going to remember we heard 100 to 200 000 people and uh they're going to research that why they were doing again i think it's the media uh u.s hits new record for high risk highest number of coronavirus deaths in a day 1917 which is creepy that's when the uh spanish flu kicked in oh was that 1817 no 19 wasn't it producer well i know you don't remember but maybe you could fucking look it up on the computer res yeah 1917 i think that was the spanish flu remember it killed all those spanish people 1918 somebody sneezed in 1917 that's kind kind of weird, isn't it, though?

The previous record for most new U.S. COVID-19 deaths in a single day was on April 4th with a spike of thirteen hundred and forty four. But holy, think about that. Nineteen hundred and seventeen in one day. Mother of God. Son of a whore! Mother of God. Son of a whore! Yeah, on April 4th, it spiked to 1344, according to Johns Hopkins University, where I flunked out my sophomore year. But organic chemistry, I couldn't get around it. You know what I did well in? African American studies. A plus.

I was all over that shit. Across the country. Wait a minute, Raz, that was your major right didn't you take raz what how'd you do right i did pretty good how good what's don't beat around the bush i did pretty good uh overall and cause i barely passed but how'd you do it out what was this grade score african a's and b's a's and b's yeah figures black guy got a's and b's in africa uh across the country uh were there any white people in that class right yeah athletes that makes sense they're like we got to learn how to fucking

you know we're gonna be in the locker room with these guys we got to know what's up across the country there were 402 383 cases of the virus reported as of tuesday evening in the united states there's a reported fatality rate of 3.2 percent from the virus more than 22 000 people have recovered from the illness that you'll never hear about figures show the number of fatalities increased drastically by more than 8,000 in the first week of April. Compared to the entire month of March when there was only 4,000 deaths. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? tell me, am I lying? Data has predicted the peak of the pandemic is still set to hit on April 16th

when 3,000 deaths are expected to occur in 24 hours. It's the only thing they've been getting right or close to right is the number of deaths. But the overall predictions and all the models have been way higher. And again, Trump's going to point to it come election time. You know? Anyways, health officials have warned that the death toll from coronavirus

is likely much higher than is being reported because there is no national streamlined way of reporting fatalities amid the pandemic. But I told you this yesterday, I think. You know, they're including people who die, right, of other things like hypertension, diabetes, but who also have COVID. They count that as a COVID death. You understand that even though it wasn't the cause of death? So the numbers are all over the place,

and the models are questionable. New York City's death toll from coronavirus has increased to more than 3,500 people. Holy moly. Eclipsing the number of people killed at the World Trade Center on 9-11. Durka, Durka. Jesus Christ. Hakka Sherpa Sherpa. He said as alarming as the one day increase in deaths might sound. This is Governor Cuomo. Cuomo said that it's a lagging indicator reflecting people who had been hospitalized before this week.

So in other words, you know, it's a lagging behind. But hopefully we're seeing some light at the end of the fucking tunnel, as they say. You know, Wuhan's open for business. so if anybody wants some fucking bat tongues, $2.99 a pound, you might want to get over there. Fucking filthy people. How dare you? Hey, where's Greta Thunberg when you need her? How dare you?

Drink bat piss. It's already hot in here, ain't it, Raz? I'm'm gonna have to fucking start leaving the air on when we leave here because summertime when it's 102 out it'll be 117 in here maybe we'll work out together i gotta stop it all i'm doing is cooking and eating it and laying on the couch i mean i worked out four times last week but this week can't do it. I drink all that coffee and then I crash. I have that fucking crash. I was going to go home after the show, lift weights.

No, what did I do? What did I do? I went home and I made a fucking, you know, an eggplant parm in a full dish, you know, like for a family. My wife had three to four pieces and I had the other 17. She ate the stem of the eggplant. I fucking, five pounds of cheese. I cut a fart this morning. I swear to God, the neighbors called the cops. They went, what the fuck? The DePaulo house was

rattling. I'm lactose intolerant. The pills never work never work anyways did you see trump trolling yesterday again one of the press conferences this was on twitter and there was a lady who sent it in was watching was belly laughing she fucking loves trump like i do just how he is trolling when he's doing those press briefings he's busting balls uh and and this is funny because you can see William Barr, Attorney General, laughing along with Trump. But is Trump at his best trolling the left? False negatives or false positives? I have a question for you. So we have a lot of very angry media all around this room. They want one of these seats. But because of of social distancing we are keeping them empty and they are keeping

them empty will there ever be a time when all of those really angry angry people don't like me much to start off with but now they really don't like dude will there ever be a time look at where you're buying people like pulling for the brim like it used to be where people are almost sitting on each other's lap. And this whole row over here. He's nuts. And now they're outside wanting to get in, and they're very jealous of all of these reporters. Will we ever have that again,

or is that something that will be, you know, it'll look like this forever? Watch William Byron and him laugh. There's a lot about social distancing and respiratory diseases. What? And I think that we have to have in this country. How can't you love this guy? Okay, that's good. Oh, my fucking God.

Can you stay catatonic? You are fake news, sir. Just all these people that I despise, they hate me and fucking. I love it. Don't ever stop doing that. Like I said, I've said it since you got elected. If his presidency ended a year into it, he would have done more for us real people. Just, just calling out the media. He can't, he can't do it enough for me. People says he does it too much and stop tweeting. Don't ever.

They've been lying to us for 30 years now. It's how we got Barack Obama and Bill Clinton and all the fucking rest of them. And I still say William Barr looks like Elton John. Doesn't he? Look at Trump's hair. Look at that. You could cut your hand on it. It's like aluminum siding. You could stand under that if it was raining.

That looks like an emblem on a helmet. That's almost like the Patriots helmet. I fucking love the guy. Oh, my. I'm sorry, folks. I'm sorry. I'm not apologizing. You guys fans of mine, you love him, too.

But you people who don't like him and watching this, fuck you. I used to think Reagan was my hero. This guy fucking makes him look silly. I know he's crazy. He's batshit crazy. So what? Oh, he's not presidential. Yeah, that's what makes him great. Quit giving the weight of the office. You know, don't quit putting it on a pedestal. President's supposed to be like you and I.

Fucking, oh, he cracks me up. And he was on a roll yesterday. This one got me hard. President Trump on Wednesday said he'll examine a request for a pardon for who, folks? That's right, my new boy, Joe Exotic, the Tiger King, the craziest gay fella on the planet. Maybe the most American guy on the planet. Joe Exotic, his real name is Maldonado Passage, star of the, what the fuck? Passage? The star of the hugely popular Netflix series, Tiger King. Maldenado Passage. Passage, French. Sounds like a guy in, you know what, Narcos. Please watch that. I watched three more last night. Oh my... Look, this fucking hot latino chip anything hotter than a colombian broad or a mexican aye aye ay caramba you know drug dealers don't fuck threes and fours they fuck 16s and

17s you got sex in there violence people's heads being cut off body parts and refrigerators i mean come on it's very american anyways uh the president's eldest son that would be don jr who we had on the show uh joked about lobbying for his father to pardon uh the tiger king uh who's a kooky former roadside zookeeper serving a 22-year prison sentence for orchestrating a murder for hire plot targeting animal rights activists but but here's somebody a a reporter, asking Trump about giving the Tiger King a pardon. One of the biggest rating hits of the coronavirus, aside from these briefings, has been a show on Netflix called Tiger King. And the man who's the star of this is a former zoo owner who's serving a 22-year prison sentence. He's asking you for a pardon, saying he was unfairly convicted. Your son yesterday jokingly said that he was going to advocate for it.

And I was wondering if you've seen the show and if you have any thoughts on pardoning Joe Exotic. Which son? It must be Don. It was. I had a feeling it was Don. Is that what he said? I don't know.

I know nothing about it. He has 22 years for what? What did he do? He allegedly hired someone to murder an animal rights activist, but he said that he didn't do that. And he was. You think he didn't do it? Are you on his side? Well, are you recommending a pardon? Pause. How big is this show and how big is popular is Joe Exotic? We're in the middle of a pandemic. And I'm sure the left, the humorless whores are going, I can't believe he's even taking time to do this.

That's why he's the fucking best. Go ahead. I'm not advocating anything. As a reporter, you're not allowed to do that. You'd be criticized by these. Would you recommend a pardon? I'm not weighing in on time. I don't think you would. Go ahead. Do you have a question? I'll take a look. Is that Joe Exotic? That's Joe Exotic.

I'll take a look. Joe Exotic. You know, Joe Exotic is, he issued a call for Trump to pardon him. He announced a $94 million lawsuit against the federal government on March 19th on his Facebook. The seven-part docuseries, Tiger King, Murder, Mayhem,

and Madness has been hit with Netflix viewers drawing 34.3 million unique viewers in the first 10 days. I should have sucked dick and bought cats when I was a kid. That's the

same fucking shirt I wore to the prom though anyways 1980 look at that tiger i would not get near that motherfucker for you could have gave me six shotguns i would not get there nick you're a puss okay the fleas on that thing could take you out oh my god you know what we got here guess who's coming what are we doing what's going on right now yeah dummy dummy uh popped out of his hole again uh i saw a clip online of biden i don't know how he missed it this isn't the one i'm about to show you but there was another one that was maybe the best of them all and i can't find it he was on the sunday morning shows that was last week two weeks ago and stumbled so bad it was horrendous but uh here's another video him

popping up because you know they're saying hey joe bernie's out you're the fucking guy trump's on tv for eight hours a day get out there and say something and when they do put him out there this is this is what he does we have to make sure everyone has access to maintain and maintain affordable health insurance coverage. We should be making it easier, not harder to make sure it makes sense.

You know, I'll put it another way. It makes no sense. It makes no sense. You know you're a fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know that? What are we doing? What's going on right now guys he can't talk for 30 seconds you remember when trump first got elected they were talking about if he had the mental capabilities to be president and this is your guy so far it's there's no way that they have to be scrambling behind the scenes how the fuck do you fuck up a 30 second clip hey man let me let me put it another way i'm retarded

i just shit myself oh my god do you believe it seriously i mean there's so many people more qualified amy klobuchar any of those assholes i don't know why this gets louder as i as i talk uh amy klobuchar any of those people that rant they must be sitting home going you gotta be dog styling now i got a tweet from my buddy evan who follows politics closely saying that he's thinking about picking you know who camilla harris to put on the ticket which is ironic because she's the one who used to go after him in that first debate remember about busing and shit and uh which shows you none of it they don't they don't mean any of it during the debates they just go ahead right have a patreon question about biden oh do

you really let's see the unapologetic cripple kansas city missouri i love kansas city those are real fucking american nick it seems these days biden probably can't find the restroom by himself question is can you remember uh back in the good old days when he could still find tits on a six-year-old. People are using this question thing to write good jokes. Good old days when he could still find tits on a six-year-old. Oh, my God. Come on. He didn't go that far.

But, yes, I do remember him kissing his niece on the mouth a couple times. I saw some tongue in there. This fucking guy's nuts. Look at clips back in the day. He plagiarized when he was young. He was always a bit of a scumbag. He used to, like, swim nude in the pool when Barack was the president. He was a VP. With staff out there.

This fucking, let's, oh, my God. I just came up with it. Watch this go viral. Unless maybe somebody's already thought of it. That's fucking Joe Exotic. That's Joe Exotic. The Gaff King. Right now. Oh, the show doesn't

air for another few hours. I got to get that out there. Joe Exotic. What a retard poor bastard what are we doing what's going on right now i don't know joe get back in the closet finish your jello you mama luke bill de blasio comrade bill de blasio uh was heckled at a bronx hospital by bystanders demanding tests and treatment believe it or or not, I actually take de Blasio's side in this because I don't like arrogant, ignorant people, a ton of them in the Bronx, mostly poor, urban, hateful.

Not their fault, but I'm just saying. When we show you this clip, this first woman, watch the arrogance. The security guard's trying to tell her to quit heckling, and she goes, don't interrupt. The security guard's trying to tell her to quit heckling. And she goes, don't interrupt. No respect whatsoever for authority. You can tell she hates Whitey.

Just arrogant, hand in the face. And of course, the White security guard, too afraid to do his job. Should have fucking pulled her down. But no, then he'd be on tape. It would go viral. I just hate the arrogance of fucking ignorant people. In New York, the bronx is great i mean he's hard-working people arthur avenue is one of my favorite people but there are some real real chuches uh three livid bystanders heckled de blasio demanding coronavirus tests and better health care just, just poor people thinking that the government is there to

babysit them their whole lives. He was trying to speak to medical personnel outside Lincoln Hospital in the Bronx. And this first woman, I just want to run the clip. I want to first thank Colonel Otto, Colonel Fernandez.

Thank you so much. Get us more testing for the Bronx. Don't talk to me, sir. Get us more testing for the Bronx. You smith cocksucker. Fuck you. People don't know what's going on. There's homeless people right here. Excuse me.

Don't interrupt me. You smith cocksucker. Fuck you. I need a test, de Blasio. I need a test, brother. My people right here need tests, brother. Once again, it's racism. You know, the paranoia, you got to get over it. Once again, yeah. And they put up statistics that it's hitting African-American people very hard.

But Fauci explains why. Because they have underlying health conditions, you know, and socioeconomic, whatever you want to say. You know, a lot of unhealthy people, black and white that are poor. And that's why it's, you know, diabetes. When you have that, you get covid. You're, you know, not in a good business. At least at least this guy was being kind of polite, brother. Still in his pajamas, raincoat on. I don't know. Go ahead. These people, what about these homeless right here? That's it. You can't speak here, de Blasio.

I need you on one more night. I need you on third night. That's why I need you. Yeah, how'd it go? Look at fucking the security guard. Old white fella. Do your fucking job. Pull him by the arm off it you know why he doesn't because he's seen how cops are getting sucker punched do your fucking job how about these people here you're ignoring these people homeless people

what has that guy done for homeless people you know probably nothing i know look at his sneakers they're brand new better than anything i own good question what's he doing you and i say that on monday there'll be a clip of him at a shelter feeding them no you're right looks like chris rock's older brother or something nick that's right no it isn't but uh guess what you know what de blasio did after he had him he invited those people in that would heckle him and had a conversation that's right encourage him to do more shit like i understand free speech you get the yell shit

out and stuff and uh whatever but don't play the victim role god damn it it fucking irritates me uh coronaviruses hit the bronx bronxites the hardest with residents of gotham's poorest borough dying at twice the rate of the rest of the city i'm sure it's racism right according to an analysis by the city, a nonprofit investigative news organization. Yeah, we know what that means. People are so sick of what's going on, they want to kill themselves, the individual and an older man yelled. They refuse to help you. They release you from the hospital, he said. After several minutes, members of the mayor's NYPD security escorted the two hecklers into the hospital where de blasio later met with a pair for a half hour i hope we see these two people

going you know what we apologize for fucking up his speech he actually met with us uh they had a very productive conversation where they discussed ideas about how to better involve the community and educate people on life-saving don't involve the community that's the key to this to keeping you safe don't involve the community. That's the key to this, to keeping you safe. Don't involve the community. Stay in your house. Community, community, community. Another word that makes me nuts.

We have become a country of 60,000 individual communities. The gay community, the black community, the brown community, the yellow community, the trans community, the community college. Made no sense. I threw it in there anyways. The community college. Made no sense. I threw it in there anyways. Go fuck yourself. New York City park goers

threatened to spit, cough on cops, enforcing social distancing. And who do you think does that? Anybody want to take a guess? Yeah, that's right. What do you mean, Nick? You know what the fuck I mean. Angry people.

That's what I mean. Spitting on cops that are trying to save your lives. Frigging New York. Not just New York, though. Let's be honest. But how'd you like to be one of these guys that guards the park? You want to go to war? Come on.

Do you want to go to war? We'll take you to war, okay? Tony, coño. Several officers told a post on Tuesday that some park goers are so angry over being called out about social distancing amid the coronavirus that they threaten to spit a cough on them if they try to enforce the rules. You fucking believe this shit? They will say, screw you. I hope you get the coronavirus. A parks enforcement patrol officer said people do not want to listen. Be more

specific. Another officer said, you have situations where we are educating, where I show five white women jogging. Those aren't the people spitting on the, it's not white, it's a mix. Anyways, another officer said, you have situations where we are educating people about social distancing and they're threatening to cough on you as a means to break the law and get away with it again that's de blasio's new york just a hatred of cops throwing shit at them while they're making arrests soccer punching them spitting on them it's it changed right after de blasio get in there the officers said the biggest problems and here's how I can back

my slanted view on this. The biggest problems occur at parks such as Washington Square and Greenwich Village, Manhattan. You know what that is? That's about all. That's right.

I had to walk through it every night to go to the comedy cellar. And it was so funny because when I'd walk through it, fucking black guys would always go, you 5-0 to me?

At least three times. I see another one throw them. They always acknowledge me when I walk through there. What's up, big man? They just had to let me know that they knew. But that's not, I mean, you see, you know, it's 1950. It's like 1968 in Washington Square Park. People smoking dope, playing. That's cool. It's like 1968 in Washington Square Park. People smoking dope, playing.

That's cool. It's very New York. It's almost like, you know what, the Netherlands or whatever. But people playing chess and, you know, passing around a bottle and drinking from it. It's kind of a bohemian park, which is a flavor of New York. But don't be fucking threatening people who are trying to help you. So Washington Square Park. What was the other park they fucking.

He says this is the kind of park where people go against the grain. Oh, Astoria Park in Queens. Also, my home, my old grain oh astoria park in queens also my home my old hometown of uh astoria back in 2000 uh that is the kind of park where people go against the grain people are still passing the bottle around they're still setting up picnics and hanging out with their friends uh post videos and photos show local parks still full of revelers despite warnings to say stay inside although most are keeping the distance which the park enforcement officers agreed uh is the case joe puelo president of the

dc 37 local 983 whose members include the park enforcement officers said he advises workers to use their discretion not to put themselves at risk to write a ticket or educate scofflaws he makes a good point here he says should officers go out there and expose themselves to write a summons that's something we really need to think hard about chances are a thousand dollar ticket isn't going to be paid anyways this is a difficult issue exactly it still doesn't, you know, somebody still has to do it. People are still playing hoops and fucking sitting in circles and smoking weed and whatever. And then they'll be crying that the government doesn't take care of their community. Spitting on people.

Oh, take it easy. Let's lighten it up. We need a little sunshine in the room and in the world wouldn't you say some good has come out of the coronavirus nick well how can you say that well this is how ex-tennis star ashley harkle road i used to date her but she snored i told her to take a walk uh she goes naked to save money on clothes i I mean, ostensibly. That's what she's doing. I'm loving it. Aye, aye, aye. She should get fined for putting on clothes, ever.

Anybody ever sees her dressed, she should be fined by the cops. She should be seen like that around 24-7. Look at the dog going. Look at them tits. seven. Look at the dog going. Look at them tits. Nice little tramp stamp. Aye, aye, aye. Look at them legs. Raz, what would you do to that? Raz goes, I take it out for coffee. And they go, listen, I got to get going going i got a business meeting former tennis player ashley harkle road set her fans pulse erasing with her latest instagram i put the same picture of me on that i got two likes a bunch of black thumbs down the 34 year old

posted a picture of herself completely naked with her back to the, uh, or back to the camera. This is me looking at the picture. Been saving money on clothes. Hashtag quarantine, quarantine life. She joked on Instagram. She's so funny too. Isn't she?

Get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. The American caused controversy in 2008 when she became the first active tennis player to pose topless for Playboy magazine. Huckle Road is clearly comfortable with incompetent in her body, however, defying her critics and still happily posing nude 12 years later.

Huckle Road peaked at world, she ranked number 39 in the world back in 2007 before taking time away from the sport to have her first child. And after a brief comeback in 2010, she again stepped back from competing to have another child, which means she like, you know, that's her there too. Fucking Jesus. Following her defeat by a black man Serena Williams In the first round of the French Open

I actually like Serena She smiled at me I've mentioned this 40 times on the show I was walking to Howard Stern She was coming out Gave me a big smile on the sidewalk Almost like she knew my comedy And she threw a coke at my a sidewalk almost like she knew my comedy and she threw a

coke at my head i said she knows my comedy uh but she beat this woman back in 2008 uh they asked they asked her about a playboy shoot and hawker wrote said i thought about it and it was something i did she said i'm proud of my body i was representing a female athlete's body just you don't have to bullshit. You know you're smoking hot and you want the publicity. Cut through the bullshit. I'm representing female athlete's body. Will you stop?

Don't be ashamed. Should be nude around the clock, goddammit. de Blasio should put somebody on her to make sure she doesn't put on a shirt. Nick, that's sexist. Yeah, welcome to hashtag me too. Hey, you guys know about this company we're working with right now. We partnered up with thedonaldstuff.com. They have a bunch of shirts, mugs, hats, posters, both exclusive Nick DiPaolo show gear, and also some very funny Trump-friendly stuff.

There you go. That's a good one. It's kind of creepy. I look like a Trump-friendly stuff. There you go. That's a good one. It's kind of creepy. I look like a three-headed baby. Again, you can find all of this stuff. What else they got up there, Russ? Wash your filthy asses, America. Only thing about that, people are going to be laying on that towel.

They'll beat you. You can't read it. So wrap it around you when you're coming out of the shower. This creepy Uncle Joe. You can find all this stuff at thedonaldstuff.com. And this is important. Please make sure to use the promo code Nick at the checkout to get 10% off your order. That applies to everything on the website.

All the mugs and shits and hats. That's what it says. everything on the website all the mugs and shits and hats that's what it says again check out the donaldstuff.com and use the promo code nick at the checkout they keep adding new stuff every day so we'll put it up there so you guys can take a look at it and we'll post a link on my website and uh help the guy out trump shredded for a guy who loves Taco Bell and McDonald's it's the face he makes every time he sees Nancy Pelosi all right let's move on speaking of sexy people we just went from that tennis player Rez did you put up the other pictures of her why don't you listen to me

the fuck is a man? You're getting like Jason. Huh? I don't want to get flagged. You didn't want what? I don't want to get flagged. That's not going to get flagged. I'm going to get flagged. Looking at this in my bedroom.

A yellow flag will come on my bedroom, land on my bed. Guess who threw it? Wasn't Gene Stallings. I mean, for the love of God, I think I'm going to get tickets for the U.S. Open whenever it comes back. That's just wrong. I like to be a ball boy. I like to be a bike. I like to be a bike seat on a Citibank bike in New York City. Let's go on to more sexy sports talk and a relative story. Tom Brady reviews Rob Gronkowski's amazing it says amazing penis.

Hot dogs. Get your hot dogs here. Discussing the former tight ends great physique. Put up the picture of look at this fucking animal. He's a lot smaller than that now I think. But what a fucking Polish god. Discussing the former tight end's great physique Wednesday

in an interview with Howard Stern, Brady recalled how Gronkowski would get naked in the locker room with a press present. And that's kind of controversial because there are women in there. Literally, Brady said he'd literally throw his towel over his shoulder, just walk through the locker room with all the reporters. Brady said he didn literally throw his towel over his shoulder just walked through the locker room with all the reporters Brady said he didn't give a shit he just strutted through

I am like God and God like me I am as large as God. He's as large as God. Uh, Brady, although Brady said, I don't get this quote. Every guy's penis looks the exact same. What? I've been in enough locker room to know that ain't the goddamn truth. And if I had a schlong like Gronk's, I would never put my pants on. I'd fucking walk up into the booth on a Monday night game with no pants on. Take a look at this. When I played at UMaine, I was in between two black dudes.

We only had four on the team. Lorenzo Boyer, the greatest running back in New England history, still has names all over the record books. He was about 6'2", 215, negative body fat. I think he was the leader of a street gang in Hartford. And to my left was Davy Johnson, whose penis was so big, some of the older players told me when he was a freshman, he would wait to go into the shower after because he was embarrassed at how big his schlug was. Explain that to me. They used to, you know, torture him, of course.

I was in between those two guys with my fucking stunning five and three quarter inch average white cat. And it never looks worse than when you take it out of your jockstrap after a 102 degree day. It's hiding in the woods like a scared rabbit. Then these two guys unleash their monsters. Fucking press is in there interviewing.

And guys are cruel, man. But anyways, I don't like Brady talking about other guys cock. You know, all the fucking you know, all the New York fans. We know he's a faggot. He said, although every guy's penis looks the same, when Stern circled back to the topic of Gronk's junk, he said, we also learned from you today that Gronk has a beautiful penis. Brady took a moment to appreciate his former tight end.

Yes, he does. Brady said, it's amazing. He said, it's exactly what you would expect it to be. Which means he's what? He's about 6'4", 250. So just to be proportional. Am I spending a lot of penis talk? Yes, I am.

I'm obsessed with cock. He was dating porn stars. So you know he ain't fucking hurting the national average. If I'm abroad, I would fucking love that guy. But I'm not. I like pussy. Did I mention that? Cronk retired in 2018

since he's branched out to broadcasting, working with the WWE. As for Brady, he's going to the Buccaneers. We all friggin' know that. He's going to the Buccaneers. Brady signed a two-year deal with the Buccaneers last month with a guaranteed 50 mil. He and his family have since relocated to pal Derek Jeter's apartment. family have since relocated to pal Derek Jeter's apartment. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank the contributors to this show. As you know, we're free now. We rely on your financial contributions, which you can make at nickdip.com. You can make one-time contributions or you can

sign up at patreon.com and be a monthly subscriber for that you get an extra story every day that nobody else gets you get to ask me questions and you get access to over 300 shows and you can also if you own a business when things get better you want to be a sponsor of the show go to nickdip.com for that too thank you so much these are one-time contributions justin morgan maryland justin aldrich florida tim kinch massachusetts huge erection get it huge erection pennsylvania tom golden pennsylvania linda peavy hawaii garrett blair california dwight rounder lips nebraska biagio call colandreo california brian stevens california keith break canada travis scarpness texas dick hangs low illinois uh and these are monthly supporters uh for patreon adam moore scott schnebley doug dougie and elaine oliver matt manley and yvette moore thank all you guys so much

very important now very few places where we can cut loose and have fun with this. And please, I'm going to be honest, please keep it coming. I know things might be getting tight, you two, but maybe not. Maybe you're an essential worker. I wonder where our job would fall in, Raz, as far as essential, non-essential. I think we are essential. But again, sort of as a porn star. We might do a, let me take a vote. How many people would like to see me? You know how the cam girls are making a lot of money now? They put the camera in their bedroom and they're laying on their bed in their underwear,

you know, watching them brush their teeth. We might do a version of me doing that. Who's up for it? Huh? You did get a question of somebody wanting to see you do stand up live for the listeners like just to say

oh yeah that works great in an empty room good fucking request and what no that's not how it works stand up maybe I'll bring it a bit you know you guys can help me work it out or something but do you really think that's what comics do even when they start out there

that's the thing about stand when they start out there? That's the thing about stand-up. You can't practice in the mirror. I could sit here, but it's not going to have the same effect. You know what I mean? Maybe we'll get some laughing bags. You know, you hit the button. I don't know. Ah, Jesus Christ, is it hot up in this motherfucker.

On to our favorite network. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. CNN, if you remember, Jake Tapper used to work for Fox News, ripped. He's ripped recently. He works for CNN now over retweeting a post calling Trump insane. CNN's Jake Tapper took heat Tuesday for retweeting a post from conservative lawyer George Conway. You know who that is? Kellyanne Conway's husband, who wanted a job in the Trump administration, didn't get it. So he turned on Trump and he's been bashing him every day since.

He's a frequent critic of the president. And anyways, he called the commander-in-chief 100 insane the cnn anchor on monday retweeted conway's post which said trump's 100 insane and nobody in the administration has the balls to tell him that that's what he uh that's what he tweeted and jake tapper retweeted it but it's all lies. Tapper retweeted again Tuesday while adding noteworthy comment on folks in the administration from a Trump critic who knows a lot of them is what he says.

You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. You think Jake Tapper would ever do that if somebody called fucking Obama, you know, in a tweet just a fucking incompetent nitwit you think anybody at cnn would retweet that if it came from people who worked from obama you know with obama uh you just fucking saw this double triple standards

tapper insisted conway's barb seems new given how many people in administration he knows. The critics included Jonathan Turley, the only he was criticizing, Tapper, the only Republican witness during the House impeachment hearings. Turley, a George Washington University law professor and a contributor to the Hill, ripped Tapper, saying

his tweet only further undermines the media by reaffirming for many that the media is campaigning against Trump rather than covering him. And nothing could be truer. OK. Anyways, of course, people defended Tapper. New York magazine writer Jonathan Chait said Tapper merely observed that Conway's comments were noteworthy. said Tapper merely observed that Conway's comments were noteworthy.

Trump in the past has called George Conway a stone cold loser and husband from hell. Your mom goes to college. Anyways, the president has actually gone after Jake Tapper, too. And gee, I wonder why. Who the fuck is watching CNN? Honestly. I know people who vote Democrat that wouldn't watch it. They make fun of it on SNL,

for Christ's sake. Don't they? Jake Tapper, I know you don't like him. This is what Trump said at a rally once. He brings up Jake Tapper. He goes,

I know you don't like him. Who likes him? Who the hell can like him? Trump said at a rally once uh he brings up jake tapper he goes i know you don't like him who likes him who the hell can like him trump said at a rally in february uh a remark tapper quickly added to his bio so he's got a sense of humor finally tonight because i'm burning up here. Maybe I got Corona Corona. Guess who's back?

We haven't heard from these douchebags, these four useless women who should be taken out and put to sleep like rabid dogs that they are. Squad, remember the squad members? You remember? Yeah. Squad members want to make illegal immigrants eligible for coronavirus aid. Fucking... Aloha, man! Aloha, man! Aloha, man! Squad members want to make illegal immigrants eligible for coronavirus aid. Fucking.

Look at these four. Nobody. They couldn't get laid. Well, except for AOC. The other three couldn't get laid in a fucking men's prison in Turkey. That's Presley on the left. the most hateful one of them all. Ayanna Presley from Massachusetts. She's psychotic.

She made shoplifting legal. It's the first thing she did. Just psychotic. You're an embarrassment. Massachusetts, I love you, but what are you doing? AOC, she's a waitress who follows politics casually. Then you got another hateful one, Omar. You know, she married her fucking own brother or whoever the fuck.

Busted for campaign reform. And she's done nothing but shit on this country since we pulled her out of a fucking concentration camp in nigeria wherever the fuck she was uh and then you got you know talib remember talib let's impeach the motherfucker right after trump got remember her look at her look at that thing i wouldn't stick a thumb in your fucking dog's ass makes no sense anyways let's move on rep aina presley massachusetts democrat called for the next package to guarantee a relief for individuals who are not in the country legally and even the that's how much she hates this country and these four broads do they're worrying about people whose first move was to break the law when they got here by sneaking in they put that ahead of their

constituents actual citizens. How are they still around? How did they get voted in in the first place? Fucking dumber than a bag of hammers. Just hate this country. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. We need to continue to make federal investments in our community. There's that word again, community health centers.

The first term lawmaker said in an msnbc appearance how come you don't go on fox you four pigs oh you might get questions asked that uh you couldn't handle we need to center the humanity of every individual family and workers that includes not leaving behind undocumented and uninsured ones oh yeah you fucking whore. Fuck you. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. We have to continue to make investments to support vulnerable populations like those experiences, homelessness, incarcerated men and women, you know, all the ones that don't contribute. We're focused right now making sure that CARES Act in its implementation is one that is in urgent need in mitigating the hurt that so many of our families are experiencing. All of our families are experiencing right now.

Oh, I just hate these fucking bros. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Make me a sandwich. Tlaib, that's the beautiful one on the far left, issued a proposal calling for the federal government to immediately, listen to this, issue debit cards preloaded with $2,000 to every person in the United States. Who pays for that, you fucking skank?

Including to those who have been here for as little as three months. Yes, they should be a priority. The people who just got here instead of the people who pay their taxes and go to work every day.

Go back to your third world shit. The card would be recharged with $1,000 monthly until one year after the end of the coronavirus crisis. She offers to pay for it by having the u.s mint print two one trillion dollar coins what which her plan says would then be purchased by the federal reserve at full face value and then you got ilhan omar is calling for families with illegal immigrants and those of mixed status

what does this got to do they're not too obsessed with color and race are they identity politics mixed status to be included in all relief packages including the previous 2.2 trillion deal that already passed see they just see this place as racist and sexist and it's the last thing the democrat party needs right now because trump is running over him you notice you haven't heard from them in months ah she said omar it is absurd and cruel that a tax-paying mixed status couple or family could be excluded from this relief over 140 000 minnesotans live in mixed status families of some form what the fuck does that even mean uh omar wrote a statement as currently written many minnesotans who are in this country legally or part of a mixed status family

that means one of them's legal one of them is not. Will not receive any stimulus money, even if one of them has a social security number, but the other one does not. Good. Good. Tough. Tough shit. Play by the rules like the rest of us and you'll get taken care of. The fucking ovaries on these dogs to say somebody who's been here for three months illegally should get fucking coronavirus money. Are you fucking dog styling me?

And one quick note before I go. Linda Tripp, if you're old enough, you remember she was the whistleblower when Bill Clinton got caught getting a blowjob from Monica Lewinsky. She was tight friends with Monica Lewinsky. Monica told her about it and she started recording Monica's conversations

and went to Ken Starr with him and said, give me immunity for wiretapping and I'll sing a song. And that's how Clinton got impeached. And anyway, she died 70 years old. I think it was yesterday, actually. But it was a big story. Didn't agree with it. You know exactly. but it was a big story didn't agree with it you know

exactly but Clinton remember he purged himself by saying all kinds of things on the witness stand I did not have

sexual relations with that woman and we all know that was untrue anyways that is it for the week ladies and gentlemen uh thank you again for your support all you guys all my fans can't wait to get back out there and shake hands believe it or not

i gotta i'm waiting for this test to come out because i know i have the antibodies in me i i i fucking know it and now you know and uh, anyways, and Brooke, hang in there, my niece. That is it. Remember, you guys, thank you. I will say it. You're very welcome. We will see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend.

Stay safe. guitar solo We'll see you next time. I'm out.