The Nick DiPaolo Show - Counties Still Counting | Nick Di Paolo Show #468
Episode Date: January 6, 2021Warnock wins while second race hits a standstill. Malfunctions delay the count in Chatham county. Trump supporters storm D.C....
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🎵 Atta baby, Jason.
Hey, everybody.
Welcome to the big show on a Wednesday.
That's right, a Wednesday.
Hello. I'm Mr. Ed.
That's my girlfriend's, uh, when I was single.
That was my nickname, Mr. Ed.
Not because of my dick, because I used to shit anyway.
All right, let's get going with the motherfucker.
Come on, Jason, put it up.
It says Pelosi video. What the fuck?
I would like them bigger,
but they are...
She'd like them bigger.
I didn't know that was coming.
There she is,
Pelosi,
actually demonstrating with her tits the Republicans' approval rating right now after last night.
And, yeah, I don't need to hear anymore.
That's all I wanted to see.
Those look very fucking real, though.
That would be about right.
I'm judging.
All right, get that slut off the screen, that fucking, she's still
in charge, folks. And I noticed a few of you, I'll address this right at the top, but she's a little
bit upset because I didn't vote in this thing. Well, I got to be honest, I feel vindicated,
justified in my decision, because I don't know what you were reading, but I said yesterday,
in the day before the fix was in, they were still pulling the same horse shit. That's why I didn't vote.
As they say, fool me once, shame on you.
And as George W. Bush said, fool, you can't get fooled again.
I was not going to get fucked twice by these liars.
The other proof is that everybody's in on
that. You know, there's a ton of rhinos that are in on this. So fuck that. Well, Nick,
if you voted, it was so close. Maybe. Yeah, I would have made a difference. You understand
right here in Chatham County, right here in Chatham County in Georgia, they stopped counting again last night and came back this morning.
Sound familiar, anybody?
I only get fooled once by people.
I give you one chance, then fuck you.
Anyhow, that's how I feel vindicated.
But I understand your concern.
It crossed my mind, but I said it anyways. Because that's what a comic does with somebody who's honest to the gut.
You say shit that might even be unpopular with your fans, but if it's how you feel.
Again, it was only a couple.
I'm making a big deal of nothing.
Just a few people said, no, you're going to get out there.
You know, and I'm like, hey, give me a fuck.
I'm watching Subur.
It's more important.
I'm like, hey, give me a fuck. I'm watching Saburra. It's more important to me. Ah, I'm pissed off. The Antichrist. You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
Vendetta kind of mood. A vendetta kind of mood. Let's start with some, um, anyways, right now,
supposedly, uh, you know who's in. The black guy, Warnock, the guy whose wife was on camera crying down here because he ran over her foot with a car. They have an argument.
The guy, okay, hates fucking whitey. That's been proven on tape. So do you really believe,
are there really that many white people that are that
self-hating that put them in there? Or do you believe it's a fix? And there's a, again, I don't
know who the 10 people are that run the world. They want America to try socialism. That's how
I fucking feel. I don't know those 10 people. I'm looking up their names. I went on Truthfinder. I went on nothing there.
But fucking Warnock, are you kidding me?
And then the other mama Luke, Ossoff.
I was watching Tucker last night. Do you know Ossoff's job in D.C. is one level higher than an intern?
He's an empty, he's done nothing.
A product of this such thing as white privilege, he's it.
Empty suit to the fucking core.
So I just don't believe it.
And I don't believe, and you guys can't believe either,
that Trump can hold a goddamn rally.
Excuse me.
With 35,000 people, 20,000, whatever the fuck,
and Trump and Biden was speaking in front of 500 cars, I think they said.
But we're not supposed to draw a conclusion.
Nothing to do but pick up a musket.
Let's start with CNN.
Anyways, Trump tweeted, they just happened to, this was a few hours ago, to find 50,000 ballots late last night. The USA is embarrassed by fools. Our election process is worse than that of third world countries,
he says.
And how can you argue with that?
You are correct, sir.
Disgusting.
He says in another tweet,
these scoundrels are only toying
with Senator David Perdue, a great guy. He says in another tweet, these scoundrels are only toying with Senator David Perdue, a great guy.
He says, just didn't want to announce it quite yet.
They've got as many ballots as are necessary.
Rigged election, he says.
Come on, God damn it.
Let's go, let's go, let's go.
And a third tweet by our president.
States want to correct their votes, which they now know were based on irregularities and fraud.
Plus, corrupt process never received legislative approval.
All Mike Pence has to do is send them back to the states and we win.
Do it, Mike.
This is a time for extreme courage, he says.
You're going to eat lightning and you're going to crap thunder.
Poor Pence.
Pence, Trump's putting it on Pence.
Now, I don't know if what Trump just tweeted is true or not.
Mike Pence last night before I went to bed had tweeted something or
I read an article. He says, I don't think I have that power. Now, what's your opinion? If he doesn't
do whatever, I want to hear from Dershowitz or whoever, Turley, those constitutional, Ollivine
even, if that's the case. But I was watching TV yesterday and it seems that this question's been going on forever
since the 1860s if if the vice president has that kind of juice it's never really been resolved
so uh i doubt it will be now since the fix is in but i i was a little shocked when i saw that
trump fucking putting pence's balls in a vice. Jesus Christ. What if
he says I can't do that? You better have some security in your driveway tonight, Mr. Pence.
And it won't be Antifa fucking knocking on your door. By the way, DC inundated with Trump
supporters. They started last night coming in. And I guess it's a stop the steal rally.
I don't know.
There's supposed to be millions of people there.
And I better see some heads rolling.
This fucking cord gets caught on my fucking armrest.
One more time.
I'm quitting the show.
You'll never find me again.
Fucking A.
Jesus H.
Fucking Christ.
Now calm down.
I can't.
I'm not in a good mood.
The cheaters won.
I suggest we start cheating.
Stop by blowing CNN the fuck up.
Burn down MSNBC.
Fucking
get Don Lemon while he's sucking somebody's cock, put one on the
back of his fucking cum guzzling head, is that too much, can I get in trouble, I don't know,
supposedly on my own platform, Tom, you don't use those clips for YouTube,
when they let me back on, what am I, a fucking rebel now? What a sad country.
I knew that was true when I did a club up in Niagara Falls
on the Canada side.
And the guy, young kid running the club,
goes to me after my shows.
He goes, you're 58 years old.
Well, I was 57 at the time.
You're the most dangerous comic in the country.
I goes, what does that tell you?
I said, you mean my country, right?
Not Canada.
I'm obviously dangerous in Canada. I mean, who does that tell you? I said, you mean my country, right? Not Canada. Like, I'm obviously dangerous in Canada.
I mean, who the fuck isn't?
Anyways, Warnock, that's the colored guy.
Oh, my God.
Let's find a picture of Keith Robinson.
Oh, my.
I got to text Keith.
This could be Keith's fucking headshot at the comedy cellar.
That is a picture of Keith Robinson.
Oh, it is?
Okay, put up Warner.
That's Keith Robinson.
Look at Warner.
That's him in a few years.
Okay, this guy's going to Bill Cosby knows.
It wasn't the first week.
She didn't put in pop.
Jesus, I turned into Popeye somehow.
Boy, I'm stinking up the studio today.
I don't give a fucking rat's ass. Democrats moved a step closer, taking control of the Senate on
Wednesday after winning one of two critical runoff elections in Georgia with a reverend.
Anytime you see reverend in front of a guy and he's involved in politics, isn't that a conflict
of fucking interest? Raphael Warnock whitey hater domestic abuser projected
to defeat incumbent GOP senator Kelly Loeffler while the second contest remains neck and fucking
neck they say uh Warnock uh said Georgia I am honored by the faith that you have shown in me,
and I promise you this tonight,
I'm going to the Senate to work for all of Georgia,
no matter who you cast your vote for in this election.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Except white people.
Why not cool become the first black senator from
georgia said in brief remarks delivered virtually democrats need to win both races in order to flip
the senate the other contest between david perdue the republican whose senate term ended on sunday
and his democratic challenger john ossoff is still too close to call as of this morning with tens of
thousands of votes needing to be counted. Isn't that fucking weird? DeKalb County, a Democratic
stronghold in suburban Atlanta, began, guess what folks, experiencing technical issues early
Wednesday morning. And as a result, an election official said the 19,000 remaining ballots will be manually scanned.
Wow, that doesn't sound too fishy.
In order to be tabulated and added to the total vote count, potentially delaying the results.
I'm going to find out what the hell happens here.
Unreal.
Same horseshit, folks.
Same horseshit.
The outstanding vote is squarely in parts of the state where John's performance has
been dominant, Ossoff's line campaign manager, Ellen Foster, in a statement said today.
Yeah, full of fucking horses.
Perdue's campaign also issued a statement shortly after 2 a.m. saying the race is exceptionally
close, but predicting victory.
If Ossoff defeats Perdue, Democrats would secure a 50-50 split in the upper
chamber with Vice President-elect Kamala Harris then casting the tie-breaking votes. But if Perdue
wins and the GOP retains a majority, Republicans will be able to block Biden's cabinet appointments,
legislative agenda, and judicial nominees, and have the power to chart the course,
not just for four years, but for the next generation.
The incoming president told supporters during a drive-in rally on Monday.
That was what Perdue said.
Georgia's rules on recounts allow a losing candidate to request one recount
if the race is within a half percentage
point as of 7 a.m today Warnock had 50.6 of the boat and Ossoff had 50.2 so in other words it's a
little just a conter over for him to ask for it right with 98 percent of the results reported
according to uh Fox projections, and they can
suck my ass too. Did you see what's going on? Do you see? They learned from the general election,
the cheating Democrats, that we have to make this look close. We're going to make this,
we'll make it look close and go,
oh, we found some more.
But you know what I mean?
They had to make it look close.
They really, like Trump said in his tweet,
they probably have a ton.
So once again, once again,
Scamola.
Anyway, Chatham County,
that's where I'm sitting right now.
This is so, don't you find it ironic? I moved from liberal Westchester, New York to get away from that shit?
I come to a state that was always red.
I land here, now it's the center of the political universe.
Not only the state I'm in, the goddamn county I'm in.
They might as well point it to my house.
in. They might as well point it to my house.
They're the ones having technical
problems when counting the votes.
Following early
reports of technical problems, Georgia's
Chatham County announced that they are
done counting votes for the night,
this is from last night, in the Hutley contested
Senate runoff race. That will determine
control of the Senate. At the time of
print, it was too close to call either of the Georgia races.
That was, you know, when this shit came out.
I don't know nothing about that.
Well, you've got to find out.
According to local journalist Stephen Moody of ABC affiliates at WJCL News,
the Board of Elections annex building was empty.
Workers say, this was yesterday, last night, said to be back at 8 a.m. today.
Still thousands of votes to be counted.
This just doesn't, does this smell right to anybody?
I'll tell you another thing.
Frankly, you're beginning to smell.
According to Gabriel Sterling, voting system implementation manager for Georgia.
Look at him, Gene Siskit, fucking Roger Ebert, who other faggots.
Manager of Georgia Chatham County.
Didn't just stop.
They completed the content of everything they have in.
That includes Election Day,
advanced and all of the absentee they had in.
The last left will be the absentee by mail
that came in today.
Oh, so once again, mail-in ballots.
Once again, mail-in ballots have a central role in the Democrats winning. You guys, I'm so glad
I fucking sat on the toilet last night. Earlier in the day, Georgia Superior Court Judge James
Bass of Chatham County, oh, a black guy with a bow tie.
Who would have guessed he ordered the extension of voting hours at two Chatham County polling locations?
You have to be kidding.
You smug cocksucker.
Fuck you.
Me or the judge?
After the Chatham County Board of Elections and Democratic Party of Georgia made the request,
citing technical issues,
the details of which still not clear.
Oh, my God.
They're not even good at cheating.
And you guys are putting them in power for the, you know, to run the world, basically.
It's time to start drinking.
I really think so. Nick, you're taking it too serious i can't help but i don't want to live in a social shithole uh yesterday and last night trump supporters were
inundating dc flying on train uh dc being inundated with trump supporters for the big rally
stop singing and start burning shit. That's my quote.
Here's the video of them.
That'll help.
Oh, great. through the night that our flag was still there Hosanna
as
stars
Yeah, great. So what did you do?
Oh, you took over the lobby
at the Hilton? Was that your
big rebel fucking move?
You gotta do this.
And more of this.
And more of this.
Come back here
and tell our enemies
that they may take our lives,
but they can't take
our gin and tonics.
Oh, freedom!
Freedom!
but they can't take our gin and tonics.
Oh, freedom!
Oh, the good Lord!
How to make a stand where you have a
goddamn fucking Cosmo in your
hand and a fucking three-olive martini.
How to get rowdy.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
I'm waiting with anticipation for some shit to go down from our side that'll put the fear of death in people
so anyways they were making their way last night they started a day ago to come to this thing
that's happening right now as I speak to you Trump's supposed to speak at it whatever the
Terrence Williams he's a brother who's kind of a conservative dude, right? Does a lot of good work on our behalf. He was on a flight and he put up a tweet. It said,
Trump supporter just got kicked off my flight to DC. Hashtag stop the steal. This woman made a joke
about wearing a mask to another woman sitting next to her and that woman rang her bell and called the black
flight attendant down and they wanted to kick her off the fucking plane check this out only in
america in 2021 what's the problem lady i was making a joke with you it's not funny
lady i was making a joke with you and the liberal pc virtue signaling cunt goes, it's not funny. That's all you have to know about lefties today.
Humorless.
They are literally sucking the fun out of the world,
whether shutting down bars and restaurants,
arresting people on beaches,
not wanting you to visit your family on Thanksgiving.
Literally, they are literally sucking any joy we have.
Humorless.
When you see a person wearing a mask,
they are that fucking sanctimonious
when you don't have one on.
I showed you that clip yesterday.
Thank God, people in California,
remember they fucking charged a store with no mask on.
But can you imagine?
It wasn't funny, she said.
And she calls in the, go ahead.
Oh, a joke? A joke? imagine it wasn't funny she said and she calls in the go ahead exactly let's just leave her alone and let's go okay captain let's take off
let's forget about it we're recording this let's forget about it let's forget about it
this is America this is America American Airlines United States of America What did you say to her? You can do what we want to do! What was it that you said to her?
I'll get in touch with you. I'll send you to Andrews.
Don't leave!
Don't leave!
You fool!
Alright, get off!
Don't leave. Why would she leave?
I mean, she made a joke.
Alright, get off!
What kind of a joke?
She made a joke about wearing a mask. Made a joke about wearing a fucking mask.
That's what you want?
That's nothing.
It is a joke.
You're exactly right.
Sir, I...
I can't make a joke on you.
What's going on with you?
Well, it could be...
Paul hired Frank.
No threats. No violence.
No violence.
No violence.
What's going on?
Look at this bird in the eye.
Stop getting cucked.
Exactly.
She hasn't done any violence or anything.
She's got a mask on.
This is not right.
But why?
No mask on.
No mask on.
Come on.
Let's go.
The plane's defending the lady.
Uh-oh, snorkel jacket.
Get up!
What else am I going to do?
Don't move!
I might not see you there.
All right, all right, all right.
We get the point.
Un-fucking-believable.
Unbelievable.
American Airlines boycott.
It's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
So fucking stupid.
Made a silly little joke about a mask.
Has to get off the plane.
Am I living in a fucking nightmare?
And by the way, get used to this.
If by, you know, if the Democrats take the Senate and all, get used to it.
Because that PC cancer culture shit is, you think it's bad now? to this if by you know if they democrats take the senate i'll get used to it because that pc
cancer culture shit is you think it's bad now you wait to see what they have in store for you
i'll be let out of my house in handcuffs i'm convinced
not after i throw some hot chicken grease on those bastards people on the plane beg the
flight attendant to leave the broad alone uh so anyways that was
american air flight 2198 unbelievable and uh he said hashtag boycott american airlines and uh
god damn it was he right do you fucking believe it get i'm saying i'm telling you folks get used
to it you got you got biden with his wants to make it, you know how he said the
first hundred days we have to have a mandate to wear masks in public and shit? Now they're
talking about maybe jailing people? I'm pinching myself. Congratulations, my friends who vote
Democrat. I hope you're the first ones that get caught at a CBS without your mask on.
Do eight years in a Turkish prison getting boned in the ass.
Speaking of political correctness and virtue signaling, you know, COVID was a perfect vehicle for this.
And here's more evidence at my hometown of Massachusetts, which is politically I've disowned it.
I still love, you know, the city of Boston and it's a beautiful state.
But the politics just proving that they are outlifting San Francisco on the East Coast.
You know, Boston University basketball team.
Guess what?
They're wearing masks during a game.
BU basketball team has a new addition to its uniforms this season.
The Terriers are wearing masks while on the floor playing. Don't believe me? Look,
BU players. Oh my God. Do you understand how silly this is? BU players were masked up when
they took the court for their season opener at Holy Cross on Monday, a policy the school put
in place amid the COVID-19 pandemic.
Does anybody?
That's faggot stuff.
Oh, yeah.
You want to call it by its name?
That's strictly for fags.
It didn't seem to bother BU players
as the Terriers won the game 83-76.
Oh, God.
Holy Cross players were not wearing masks during Monday's game,
but they will be on Tuesday when the two play again in Boston.
BU has mandated that the opponents wear masks when playing on campus.
You have to be dog-styling me.
We should have used the old, I forgot about our Segway things.
That is the gayest thing I've ever heard.
Please give me a call.
I can't. You have a mask on.
It is believed that Tuesday's game will be the first
where both teams wear masks while on the floor. Congratulations, Boston University. Congratulations,
Massachusetts. It's complete. You've been castrated. It's complete. Both teams playing
the Patriot League, now called the Pussy League, one of the first NCAA conferences, surprise, surprise,
to eliminate non-conference play this season.
And it's called the Patriot League.
How ironic, huh?
Oh, my God.
I can't wait for the NHL to start up again in January
when I see a goalie have a mask over his mask.
You have to be over his mask. You
have to be kicking my bag.
Oh, I need to cut
loose. That's why I'm going back
in the comedy clubs again.
It's terrific, I'll tell you. Get back out there
making money, the same money I was making 15
years ago when I was just taking off about
a year ago. Fucking chinks.
As you guys know, I'm back
on the road and just over two weeks, I'll be back at one of my favorite comedy clubs and one of my
favorite owners is, what's his name? I don't know, Bobby Jewel. I don't even know if he still owns
it. But anyways, I'll be at Sidesplitters in Tampa on January 22nd and 23rd. Please come out.
When I do this club, I have a ton of people from the Northeast that show up with their
shirts on because they moved to Florida.
Then on March 25th, 26th, and 27th, I'll be back in the Northeast at Comics at Mohegan
Sun in Connecticut.
That's the casino.
Last time I was there, I tried mushrooms for the first time to give you an idea how bored
I was.
Last time I was there, I tried mushrooms for the first time to give you an idea how bored I was.
And April 8th, I'm going to do my rescheduled date at the Improv in Raleigh, North Carolina.
So come out and check me out.
I'll be cutting loose.
I don't even have material.
At this point, I don't need it.
I can run on pure emotion and I'll scare the shit out of the place.
Is that the idea? I don't know. I'm so confused right now. Get'll scare the shit out of the place. Is that the idea?
I don't know.
I'm so confused right now.
Get tickets to all these shows through my website at nickdip.com and click on the touring button.
One-time donations. I want to thank Ken Kamurek, Arizona.
Spencer Paulette, Alabama.
Christopher Dennison, Iowa.
Robert Curley, New York.
Thank you, guys.
So you notice there's not that many donations.
That's because we're making the transition from YouTube, right?
Tomorrow we get the results of my third appeal.
I should say I have two strikes, okay?
And I have a third one being appealed.
They're going to tell us tomorrow,
even though they know they have my future sealed.
Hopefully that goes my way.
And if it does, what we'll do, hopefully,
is we'll still be able to take clips from the show
and advertise thecomicsgym.com where the show sits.
But we'll use YouTube because, you know, I had 162,000 subscribers on YouTube before they put the gabbosh on me.
You see what I've been going through, folks?
I got to 105,000, what, Twitter followers about five years ago and they froze me there.
Do you see what I'm going through?
You have to support the show.
You really do.
We did get some stuff sent in from fans.
We did get stuff.
Check out some of this shit.
Buddy, this is called the Italian Deadpool.
This guy has a million pictures of him in this suit.
Is that Spider-Man or no? With the sunburn?
What is that? I think it was a spin
off of Spider-Man, but it's from the same
It's the Italian version.
But a shout out to Nick DePaul. Thank you
so much. Go to his Instagram.
It's called
Italian Deadpool. It's him
in that suit everywhere.
It's some of the funny, he's sitting by the pool
like with his legs crossed.
It's the funniest fucking shit. Thank you, Belle.
And then this guy says wear a mask.
So you'll see him
at the local CVS pharmacy picking up
his Oxycontin.
I like the middle finger.
Actually,
that's a good looking mask, actually.
Looks like Biden.
And there we have a young Kris Kringle with his what up, nigga?
See the Christmas tree in the back there?
That's beautiful.
What else?
There's our boy from Australia, right?
What's his name?
Lee?
Lee Priest.
Lee Priest. Lee Priest.
World-renowned bodybuilder.
Look at the pipes on this guy.
Jesus.
I don't even think he's active right now.
We got a clip of him shouting out the show, too.
Oh, yes.
Let's see that.
He's a good guy, this guy.
Speak proper British English.
There's nothing wrong with that.
Hey, look at this.
Mr. Parlow, he actually put me on his show twice,
mentioning my arms and that and talking about being security for him.
He's got these great shirts out.
I'll show you.
If you're a Knicker fan, that's what you're called.
You're a Knicker fan if you're a Knicker fan.
I said Knicker, N-I-C-K-K-A, okay?
Sorry.
Maybe Tyler can pull up the Nick DiPaolo show.
This is his shirt.
Ah, what up, Nick?
I like it.
I'm surprised you haven't housed Nick.
Look at the tattoos on this guy's.
I love Aussies.
He's monetized, exactly.
I have a couple of ask Lee questions.
You didn't say the bad word.
This guy had pipes, pipes too in his day.
You got to love Aussies.
Colin used to describe every time you see him,
they're in like cutoff shorts and work boots and they have like a case of beer
by a barbecue.
Hey Lee, buddy.
Thanks brother.
I'm actually getting inspired, man.
I'm starting to go back to the free weights and the fucking rubber bands because you know i had reconstructive
surgery 30 something years ago shoulders are being held together by two band-aids
uh this thing sent me off the roof this guy put up a uh a video he's on a breath what do you call
it an inter aator. He was supposedly
one of these guys that didn't believe.
I know that all of a sudden they're cherry picking all the people
that didn't believe in COVID
and now they have it. How about the ones
who didn't believe in it don't have it? How about
me who flew on eight planes in the middle of it
when it kicked off last winter?
Eight different planes in two weekends
and I caught
it and got rid of it in fucking two days.
And here I am.
Sick as a dog.
Now, why don't they start showing those stories, though?
Anyways, now you guys are going to go, Nick, you're a conspiracy.
I don't believe this video for one second.
And if he does have it and he's really sick, right?
Somebody gave him this script from the Democrat Party or whatever the fuck, Fauci, because he hits all the talking points.
I didn't believe in it.
It's very dangerous.
And then he mentions, you know how I always do, Democrats, they always in their commercials, ad campaigns, throw in the children.
They always touch that, you know, the children. What about the children. They always touch that to, you know,
the children. What about the children? That's the kicker that I said. Somebody wrote this script.
I'm not saying he doesn't have it, but somebody wrote that he hits every point. It was making me
angry. An auntie, a masker who believed COVID crisis was just a political stunt, issued an
emotional plea to skeptics from his hospital bed after becoming seriously ill with the virus in a facebook video shared by a pal on monday chuck stacy gasped for
breath as he admits he was wrong about the pandemic that killed 1.8 million globally it
really smells of propaganda here it is
is breathe heavy is a director more more
heavy
sad voice
i should have
i didn't
i shoulda i didn't
i believe this was just a flu I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't.
I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I shouldn't think a mask would help.
Like my paramedic said.
A paramedic said.
If they don't help,
the wider frontline workers that wear them,
the hospital people that wear them,
get it at a such lower rate than the rest of society pause is that right so why are we using all the vaccines on first line as first if the mask works oh well
let me ask you another question this shit started about a year ago right and it's worse than ever
according to media right new strains thousands of people dying every day. We've been wearing masks
for the last fucking year. So I guess
they don't work.
Go ahead.
You don't want to end up like me?
What, a bad actor? I did.
Watch my grace on the fire.
I'm having trouble breathing.
I may have to be intubated if I get any worse.
Oh, boy, you.
I will get intubated if I get any worse.
It's so hard to breathe.
It affects every person different but if it affects you the way
it's affecting me you don't want it
all right I can't take it I kill you I kill you right now kill me I'm right here. Kill me. Okay.
It's so hard to breathe.
Then suddenly.
That was from, you know, Christina Aguilera's beautiful.
Every day is so wonderful. It's hard to breathe but i am beautiful oh god i i guy i hope and again dude
i you know i you i don't you you probably have it but i i i can't help it i i see three cameras
in there with a guy behind it from the fucking CDC. And they have like
I don't know, fucking
Brian De Palma.
Is he still alive? Pick a fucking director.
I just, I'm so
cynical now. The voice,
it seemed a little
over the top. All they were missing was that faggy
Why didn't you get the kids from, you know what,
from fucking Jude's,
St. Jude's.
Get the little kid with the Jay Leno face.
We'll send you this adorable ventilator.
I know I seem cold hearted, but I'm just pointing out, folks, that was the best propaganda I've ever, at least the text was.
Don't you feel that way? Anyways, in May,
his last name, Stacey blasted employees at his, see, they have to fill you in with what an asshole
he was, at his local donut hole for wearing face masks. A quote is, he said, I have to say I've
had it with a mask that the employees are being forced to wear, he wrote on Facebook. It's just
another example of the continued overreaction to this situation. Please stop so when we come in to eat,
we can enjoy our meal without feeling sorry for the employees.
Nothing is 100% on this virus. And he says, and even if I would have wore a mask,
I could have still gotten it. It's the only thing that's true. But the fact of the matter is,
we have to do everything that we
can to protect ourselves and to protect the people that are really at risk. Yeah, those would be old
people. Fucking make them wear masks and keep them in the closet. Don't quarantine us. I just thank
God that I haven't given this to someone and taken a life. I would not be able to handle that, he says.
someone and taken a life.
I would not be able to handle that, he says.
You fucking hypocrite.
I'm sorry, dude.
But, uh,
somebody gave you a nice script.
And this is the level
they work at, folks.
Wait till these deep fake
videos start. Boy, they must be
licking their chops. They'll have
Trump doing that speech
uh in an update monday stacy suggest jesus it goes on he suggested um he's been fielding
death threats for going public about his covet 19 battle so he's gonna die anyways
oh my god there's more i was wrong i couldn't be more wrong. But to wish me death,
to say I don't deserve to be treated? What's wrong with you people? We're supposed to love.
This is all, this is scripted horseshit. This is scripted horseshit. This could have came out of
the mouth of Don Lemon. We're supposed to love one another. Pray for one another. I pray for all y'all.
Oh, they threw in the Southern thing to make sure.
I pray you don't get it.
So now you know it's a GOP guy.
I see through all this.
Nick, those are crazy things.
Bullshit.
I was being called crazy when I first started reading Rush Limbaugh books and shit
and making jokes about how the commercials are so one sided.
Everybody, you know, you're not appreciated till you're dead.
I don't know what that means.
But COVID is wreaking havoc.
No more place that's New York City is just this is a bad sign, New York City.
As you know, Cuomo with his heavy hand is shutting restaurants and they see you eating a sandwich on the sidewalk to slap out of your hand and just over the top.
One thing New York City is known for all over the world, they have the best food on the planet because it is so diverse. You can find
anything. And back in the good old days when I lived there, you could get it at three in the
morning if you wanted Indian food, if you wanted, I mean, in real authentic. But you know what
they've been reduced to? New York restaurants start selling frozen dinners. Now, when I heard
that, I thought they meant like Hungry Man. I really did. I thought they were doing like hungry man.
Fuck.
Can you imagine?
Like, you know, some French bistro that got four stars is selling you a hungry man fucking
Salisbury steaks and shit.
The pandemic has changed the way New York City restaurants operate.
That includes changing from serving hot meals to frozen dinners.
Oh, my God.
The ruinous is complete.
Bon appetit.
New York, if there's one thing
that New York City restaurants learned how to do
during the pandemic, it's to pivot.
Now many are not only offering hot meals,
but also frozen dinners.
Isn't that what it is though?
When you go to a restaurant, right?
And they make you sit outside in January to eat your meal,
isn't it a frozen dinner by the time you get through the appetizer? Chef Marco Canora is the
founder of Broto Broth Company. Look at this big gooba-ga-ga. He says 2021 is going to be the year
for frozen. Canora says. Broto Broth Company in the West Village. That's where all the fags hang out and where the comedy seller is and shit.
It's actually a great part of the city.
Anyways, Broto Broth Company in the West Village section of Manhattan
describes itself as a coffee shop with savory broths,
including grass-fed beef, grass-fed beef,
vegan seaweed mushroom broth.
And a chicken broth with garlic and chili.
Yeah, let me guzzle down a quart of that and try to kiss somebody.
In addition to six packs of their single serves for $35, the soup counter is offering kits and bundles.
single serves for $35.
The soup counter is offering kits and bundles.
A growing list of city eateries offers convenient options to stash away in the freezer.
Among them, Katz's Deli, which is great.
It costs you like $21 to get a sandwich at Katz,
but I'm not shitting you.
We should have showed a picture.
I'm not exaggerating.
When you get a corned beef sandwich,
it's like this.
So you can buy their food that
these restaurants are known for and put it in your freezer cat's deli uh juliana's and uh what's that
colonia verde that's a green colony one of the things i love about frozen we make a big batch
just like my grandma used to do.
And then you can freeze it for a year or two, said Kenora.
Delicious.
Thank you.
Delicious, Grammy.
When did you put this away?
1968?
There are four Broto Broth shops across New York City, and they're going to be offering individual Frozen dinner options.
Good for them. This is what they have to do.
Thanks to the government up your ass.
Nice going, Jace.
I wasn't exaggerating, was I?
Try eating that on a first date and getting a second date.
Looks like somebody dropped a pancreas between two pieces of rye bread.
Cats is delicious, though.
The Jews know how to do the deli shit.
Nick, why are you going to say that?
I don't know.
Restaurants boast,
let's stay in the restaurant field, all right?
Listen to this, guys.
And if you don't boycott this shithole,
headlines,
there's a restaurant boasting
about employing fewer white people.
Kava, a restaurant boasting about employing fewer white people. Cava, a restaurant chain based in the D.C. suburb of Rockville, Maryland, is so committed to diversity that they've openly boasted about this significant reduction of white employees from 2019.
I know that they have a jingle.
You see it on TV.
Kill the white people.
They're bragging about hiring less white people.
You think it's complete, folks?
What a racist country.
Oh, that's not racism.
It's white people that are.
The company put out this statement.
Your continued support has helped us make strides to better our organization.
So less white people equal better organization and the communities
we serve. There's that word community. In such a challenging year, we couldn't have achieved
any of this reverse racism without you. We look forward to continuing this work
and welcoming you to our table in 2021. If you're not a white fuck the chain tweeted along with listen to this four infographics
detailing their efforts to feed the poor open new locations and spread the false gospel of
social justice one of the infographics uh put up the graphic here's here's one of them Hispanics, they didn't budge on. White people, 21% down as far as hiring.
14% up.
Up from 4%.
Wow, 10%.
Nine other.
Those are aliens.
And 8%, thank God they got some native Hawaiian.
Thank God, because I just won't go in unless I'm being served by a guy with a fucking lay on.
Can I have some poi, please?
Three percent Asian.
Look, they have a graph.
Look at the white reduction.
It says diversity matters in the workforce and beyond.
We've made strides to make Kava a diverse.
Anytime you hear...
I'm going to teach you again.
Every time you hear diverse, it means what?
Less white people.
We've made CAVA a diverse, inclusive workplace
and remain committed to expanding the following.
The graph that shows what they're doing.
45% of all their team members in 2020 were Hispanic,
but there was no change.
So they're a little pissed.
14%
were black, up from 4%
in 29. Yeah, they're not spitting in your fucking
armlet. 8%
Pacific Islanders, up from 2%.
Thank God for that. I feel relieved. 3% were Asians, up from two thank god for that i feel relieved three
percent were asians up from uh one percent so that's good those are the daily specials
21 white down from 37 they are so excited about that. That represents a 43% reduction in the number of white employees in just one calendar year.
Meanwhile, Asian team members tripled, black team members more than tripled,
and Pacific Islander teams quadrupled.
Another graphic reads, we stand for social justice, by the way, which is a false religion,
and remain committed to action.
They're bragging about being inclusive
when they're excluding people.
Think about how retarded these people are.
They say there's still much more to be done.
What are you going to have us do?
Oh my God, there's still more to do.
Who said that?
The Carver fags.
Who the fuck said that?
Those Carver fags.
Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed
cocksucker down here
who just signed his own death warrant? Carver then. Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?
Carver then donated $50,000 to Thurgood Marshall College Fund,
another $50,000 large to the Equal Justice Initiative.
I love when you intermingle food with social justice.
It makes it taste that much better, the black-eyed gravy
and the white-eyed fucking racist grits.
Excuse me.
Became a founding member of the Initiative for Black and Blue Partnership.
That's for what?
People who beat their wives?
And entered a recruiting partnership with Howard University, a historically black university founded in 1867.
And a little side note on Harvard University,
I had 100 yards against them in a scrimmage up in Maine.
True story.
That's right.
All black folks.
I was running around.
They sucked.
Wikipedia describes CAVA as a fast, casual chain
serving customizable Mediterranean bowls of doo-doo, poo-poo, and caca.
Bowls of salad and Peters.
If you're a white individual looking for employment, don't try your luck with them.
They're not looking to hire people of your kind.
In fact, they're looking to get rid of more of them.
I love it.
Racism, discrimination, it's alive and well coming from the left.
When you see the word diversity, the guy even puts in this, what I said,
I know that it means few white people.
It always does.
If you don't know that by now, you shouldn't be watching this show.
You should be a Mama Luca, Mama Laka.
Is this the final story?
We'll save that for our people at Patreon.
You guys, I can't thank you enough for contributing this show.
Bear with us. Again,
me getting booted off YouTube for a couple of weeks has really fucked up the flow. People don't
know where to find me. I still don't know how that is. We're still on Facebook. We put it up
on Instagram, Parler, NickDip.com. I don't know what else to tell you. But we're making that
transition. Like I said, hopefully we can still use once we get this
appeal answered. What the fuck? I can't believe the world I'm living in. Oh my God. But again,
thecomicsgym.com where you can pay or watch it free. Okay. And spread the word. We'll get back
on our feet already. We already have sponsors lining up.
But, you know, they kick me in the balls with that move.
So that is it.
Don't forget Cameo.com.
If you want me to make a personal video on my phone,
sending it to one of your friends to roast your friend or to say happy birthday to your uncle
or to tell your neighbor to get your dog shit off your lawn,
whatever, I would love it.
I can roast them.
I do it on my phone.
You guys go to Cameo.com, click on my profile,
fill it out a little bit about the person.
And I love doing it.
I usually bang out.
I'll wait until they build up to like five or six.
Then I'll sit in my underwear on my bed and bang them all out.
That is it.
You guys think it.
I will say you're very welcome.
We'll see you back here for the final day of the week already tomorrow.
Keep your chin up and stay tuned to what's going on in D.C.
Did I say everything?
That is it.
We'll see you guys tomorrow.
Bye. guitar solo We'll see you next time.