The Nick DiPaolo Show - D-bag Diddy Done!| Nick Di Paolo Show #1625

Episode Date: September 17, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Springfield, Trump's list of Dem violence and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 9/27/24 - Wise Guys - Jordan Landing, UT 9/28/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 9/29/24 - Skankfest - Las Vegas, NV 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour 

Music playing That's beautiful. Hello. Oh for Christ sake. Oh sorry folks. Did you hear that? Just tickled to be here. Save the big chunks. I'll make chili later. Oh, my God. That was even gross for me. How about that? That's called Texas chili. That's all meat. Well, it's a clam-based chili. How are you, folks? It's Tuesday here. I don't know what it is. Maybe you're in Australia.

It's yesterday till tomorrow. I'm ahead of time. Whatever the fuck. What did David Tell say? Australia, the only place I've gone to. I landed there, I called my apartment, and I answered. David Tell, as funny as anybody ever to do it. Love that little Jew bastard. I don't know if the feelings of mutual like most people.

Anyhow, any he. Real quick, Monday Night Football, good one last night. Saquon Barkley, the big acquisition for the Eagles, I'm getting veneers. I don't care if they're $100,000. These lower teeth, my wife said, you can't even see it on the fucking, I can see it.

The monitor's a foot away. My head's the size of a fucking watermelon. I smoke three cigarettes a week maybe, and the fucking coffee, and then I blow a couple guys and eat some gum. A man goes to a party. I looked that up today. I found the audio for you. It's a more fancy version.

Kennedy lists a bunch of things. I have to raise the tax revenue base and I want to swing on that tire. Anyways, we got a ton of show. I don't know why I'm fucking around. More than we can handle actually. Anything from P. Diddy to fucking JD Vance this past Sunday beating the fuck out of, verbally out of Dana Bash that we didn't get to yesterday. All kinds of horse shit.

P. Diddy, their role model for all kids. What a disappointment. I couldn't believe when I heard that. Let me tell you something. I actually met that guy when I was working with Chris Rock and he just looks like everything he's been charged with. I know that's unfair. He looks like a third-world fucking one of those dictators in Africa, E.D.R. mean types. Like Dallas said, put a bunch of medals on his chest

that mean nothing for every kid. He's raped allegedly Anyhow, I can't believe I said that balls on this prank fuck off Real quick. I know you're not gonna watch this but you out of everybody I know you're sick of me preaching this shit, but you are gonna be in your director slash whatever producer the Documentary on David Chase in the making of the surprise it's so it's two parts and It you know they talked to the writers and shit

This is years after owner and he's the most solemn dull not dull But depressed everything you'd think a great mind would be and remember he's Italian. She's sorry not chase and would be. And remember he's Italian, Cesare not Chase. And his mother was the genesis of that show. She was psychotic and he says as much. And it's two parts an hour each. And it's just, I'm sorry. And again, you don't even have to be a Sopranos fan to watch this and go, holy, how did they pull that off? Gandalfine, he's like 15, 14, 15 hour days. Can you imagine? Gets there at 5 30 in the morning, they go home at 8 at night And he's got to go home and learn eight pages of dialogue for the next day It's why he almost drank himself to death and it's so interesting

and David Chase would lay on a couch while the other writers are trying to come up with shit and He'd wouldn't be sleeping, he'd be listening and then he'd come out he had like three whiteboards and he'd come out and write like eight ideas write him across the thing and then he'd look at him five minutes ago oh this is terrible and wipe it all away start they said he was brutal to work yeah and what do you got a master i I love BTS stuff like that, you know, when you dive into the making of something. Please watch this, please, please watch it, because you will. And it goes by like this, because they talk to the cast members and they bring up shit like, you know, people got bumped on the bump got whacked. This is what made that show it's what sucked me in, about five episodes in, spoiler alert,

one of the main characters gets fucking whacked. And you're like, that's never happened, like really on TV. And then you never knew. And it was so hard for David Chase to tell somebody you're going to get whacked because these are actors who kill for these jobs. They might never work again. All this background shit that you don't even think of and he's such a depressing dark mind the whole time he's like this like he doesn't want to be there but he's funny and anyways it's it's worth what what am I doing we got

a fucking show we could do nine I'm sorry fuck I didn't even turn this fucking thing on well you know I'm new at this. Started this in my basement in 1978, this show. And then we brought technology like actually teleprompter built in the 20s. I think we got this out of the Walter Cronkite archives. Let's get right to it. I don't even know the fuck I'm talking about, page one. It's not about the animals.

What? Is that? I know, but is that what it said? Or is it? Is that what I called it? You just said Charlie Kirk. Oh. Anyways, his Charlie Kirk. Oh shit, I'll read the Trump thing out there.

His Charlie Kirk, you know who he is. USA Turning Point. Probably does more for our side than anybody. He travels the country debating college kids. He never stops. I don't know how he fucking, he's as smart as anybody out there. Here he is talking about the whole how the left and the media has treated the Midwest in this country. And not just recently folks, forever. They call it fly by country they always hated people the midwest because they were americana grounded family religion all that shit that

the left hates i remember you know as soon as i started doing stand up comedy across the country i go these are the people that they can't stand nicest people i've ever fucking met and charlie kirk's gonna sum up what they've done to them over the last forty years go ahead what springfield ohio really quick which course with with the Haitian cat eaters that are coming in. Springfield, Ohio is a perfect example of how the ruling class has treated the heartland of the country. Step one, we close the factories and we send them overseas so that people don't have work. Step two, flood those. Can we ever, can they ever do this without a stupid sound effect behind

it? The fuck is that for? Somebody getting residual playing of xylophone. Go ahead communities with opioids that they're permanently addicted and we kill a lot of them Step three we send their kids their sons and daughters to go fight no-win wars and they come back with permanent health issues Step four we flood their town with foreigners after we've completely abused and broken them and we sent their jobs overseas. Step five, the residents who are still there and have survived all this abuse notice that the foreigners are doing really weird stuff and illegal stuff like driving ahead on traffic,

killing kids, eating cats and taking geese out of the pond and then we call the people that are still there in Springfield racists after their factories have closed and their sons died in Iraq and they're addicted to opioids and their local schools being overrun by Haitians but they're racist for noticing that their home is turning into Port-au-Prince. You wonder why Donald Trump's poll numbers don't go down. You wonder why so many people wear that red MAGA hat in Springfield, Ohio. Because he is the only lifeline that these people have. He is the only hope that they have. The only person that does not insult them or talk down to them and wants to lead a rebellion and yes, a revenge campaign against

the people that have done this to them and destroyed their home. Hey man. He was the best guy around. Still around. Okay, argue with any of that. I so wish I was, this show was piped to the green room, it's fucking the view, or any of you fucking jerk-offs on the left. I know I'm probably talking to my people. Hopefully, they show a few.

How do you argue with anything he just said? Honestly. And by the way, I got a brother who lives in Ohio and has to go to Cincinnati, which means he has to go through Springfield, Illinois sometimes. And he goes, those stories about pets and shit have been in the news forever, way before this shit with Trump and everything. And I know that because my late great friend who died, the cop from Miami, who worked in Miami from my hometown, he used to tell me these stories because there was a ton of Haitians in Miami and he would

tell me about finding burnt skeletons of pets and shit because of rituals they did and shit. So the point is it's a fucking culture that has nothing in common with our culture and then you drop them in and people, they don't eat dogs and shit. That's not even the fucking point. And like I think Vance said, if we have to put cat memes out to get your attention, everybody knows the geese thing is true. Why am I popping?

Am I too loud here? Anyways, I'm just so tight. Quit treating the Democrat Party. I got to change. I could come up with a different name. They're the enemy. That's not a fucking, that's not hyperbole. Quit giving them the respect.

Anyways, thank God for Charlie Kirk. Now just now breaking, Donald Trump, as you know, second assassination attempt, and people are trying to blame him for his rhetoric. That's, everybody got that on the left. MSNBC, all the user suspects, they sing from the same sheet, and they're all saying it's his rhetoric that has to be toned on. So he's finally like, fuck you. And this is the first time in a long time, finally, the right, or whoever, is going, fuck you, his. But it doesn doesn't matter because they have fucking they have control of the media they have control of the culture but let me find this and read god where was it where did I find it I just went away I opened X and it just disappeared do you have

it Dallas oh yeah your text you should have the link to the text. Oh, and the text, yeah. Just so you got to read this. I got to read it. Who am I talking to? What am I doing? Jesus Christ. I got so much caffeine in me. It's terrific. I want to try cocaine, but it's too late. Try it. I did. Let me read these real quick. Trump put out 50 things proven it's there.

This fucking fuck. Excuse me, folks. I know you're conservatives and you don't like that. Grow up. Put it out when? Yesterday maybe? Steve Cohen. Trump is an enemy of the United States. Rep Maxine Waters. Are Trump supporters preparing a civil war against us? Waters again, I wanna know about all the right wing organizations that Trump is connected to who are training up in the hills somewhere. Debbie Wasserman, ugly Schultz, Trump is an existential threat to our democracy.

Adam Schiff, Trump is the greatest threat to our democracy. Gregory Meeks, Trump cannot be president again, he's an existential threat to democracy. Dan Goldman, Trump remains the greatest threat to our democracy. Gregory Meeks, Trump cannot be president again. He's an existential threat to democracy. Dan Goldman, Trump remains the greatest threat to our democracy. Jake Utchenklaas, what unifies us as a party is knowing that Donald Trump is an existential threat. It's so original. Abigail Cheeseburger, Scanburger, Trump is a threat to our democracy. The threats to our democratic republic is real. Former Harris Biden staffer, Kate Bendingfield, Democrats should turn the fire on Donald Trump. Rick Wilson, Lincoln Project,

that's the guy I would fucking kill if I saw on the sidebar. They're still going to have to go out and put a bullet in Donald Trump. Can you imagine he said that? Rep Greg Landsman, the threat is not over. Eric Sorensen, he's the greatest threat to law and order we have in our country. Yeah, he was responsible for the fucking riots, right? During the George Floyd shit? You fucking people, I can't wait till the thing sets off. Fuck the election.

Oh my God. Tim Walz, are Republicans our threat to democracy? Yes, are they? Whatever, then it's cut off. Joe Biden, who's that? Trump and the MAG Republicans represent an extremism that threatens the very foundation of our republic and that is a threat to this country.

Joe Biden again. Trump and MAGA Republicans are a threat to the very soul of this country. Biden again, Trump is a genuine threat to this nation. He's literally a threat to everything America stands for. Douchebag again. Enough, you get the idea. I fucking hate the way the phone

works. I hate the way the fucking iPad works. I hate the way fucking laptops work. Fucking Steve Jobs. I hope you fucking get fucked in the ass in jail. I mean hell. Well, hell is jail, isn't it? Anyways, coffee folks. Sarah C. Mrs. Jobs, I didn't mean it. Morsanka. It kept opening and closing on me. Oh, God help us. Where am I? What am I doing?

It's not like Biden. What are I doing? It's not like Biden. What are we doing? Let's a little update on the shooting of the second attempt. Is that what this is? Peek-a-boo, ICU. Didn't get to this yesterday. The government who allegedly staked out President Trump's West Palm Beach golf course with an, you know, with a fucking AK rifle was able to exploit a security hole that the Secret Service has known about for years

and it wasn't the woman running it. No, no, no, no, no, no. Are you interested in the real story? Yes. News photographers, including those hired by the Post, New York Post, have had no problem repeatedly securing spots around the perimeter of the course to snap pictures of Trump playing golf

or driving in a golf cart. They have even taken images which require a clear line of sight to the 45th president unnoticed through the bushes with telephone lenses, some telephoto lenses. Have you ever shoot a telephone lens? Fucking terrific. Some have gotten as close as 75 yards. Boy, they really tightened it up, huh?

The Secret Service, they really doubled down. Here's a video of how easy it is. Take a look. They really tightened it up, huh? The Secret Service? They really doubled down. Here's a video of how easy it is. Take a look. Hello? Hello, Mr. President? Hello? It's bigger than the hole between Kamala's legs.

That's enough. You get the idea. I'm gonna hurry. There's always, they are, meaning the press, always amazed how close they can get to Trump and his entourage. It's easy for them, they say. Oh boy, is this great. Authorities say Ryan Wesley Routh got within three to five hundred yards of Trump after spending twelve hours in a makeshift sniper nest just outside the fence along Summit Boulevard. A busy thoroughfare of Trump at the National Golf Club, West Palm Beach.

Why are you pin pounding it again? Jesus. Even on rare instances when Secret Service agents do see a photographer near the course, they rarely question, the source said. The security detail is also exceedingly easy to see approaching on their golf carts, meaning photographers can keep an eye out for them and then hang back and lie low until Trump arrives. If they do approach the photographer, sometimes they quickly check their credentials, but that's about it the source says

We got some footage that the mainstream media hasn't shown yet of roth He was as you know, he was near the golf course for a couple days This was him. They found some footage of him preparing. Oh come on folks, don't you love it? Anyways, yeah so you can see nothing's changed. They haven't fired anybody since Butler. they didn't double down they said well he's not a sitting president but yeah but he was always an attempt a victim of assassination you think you might then can you fucking just picture if

something like this happened to Obama I mean somebody compared him to a rodeo clown and got canned I mean just think about him to a rodeo clown and got canned. I mean, just think about that. All this shit about this country being racist, just think about it. And who's trying to kill who? It's been the same forever. Reagan got shot. Ford got shot.

Lincoln got shot. The only thing that didn't get shot is a pile that I wrote a couple years ago. It was me as a butcher in New Jersey. Anyways, it's just incredible that they're trying to pin all this, you know, all these assassination attempts on Trump and the rights rhetoric. How can you out there, and again people, I gotta figure out how to get in a liberal audience. I want it to show up at my house. I want to show my new gun. Just want to show them. I'm not gonna bug. It's not even loaded folks.

I, anyways, that's all I got to say about that. Hey, if you guys are, ooh, ooh, for those of you guys in Mug Club right now, stick around for the rest of this show, the second half. I feel bad that people aren't gonna. But you can, if you go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club, and if you do that, you're gonna get my entire show four days a week.

You get Steven Crowder's show, which has the production value of some of the greatest movies ever made not to mention he's got an undercover team who's breaking national news and it's sitting on a couple of huge stories and it's funny as fucking hell Alex Jones pipes in like on every other Friday or whatever Brian Callan all kinds of shit. So go to nickdip.com and while you're there, click on the date button. So if you want to come see me live,

September 27th, I get news for you. Wise Guys, Jordan Landing, there's 12 tickets left. And the gig's not for another 11, 10, 11 days or whatever. So that's gonna be sold out if not sold, it might could be sold out today. It's gonna sold out and I thank you guys for that and it's about fucking time what also the two nights following that September 28 29 I'll be in Vegas at Skankfest with a bunch of very funny dudes. I'm going there because I haven't seen my boy Joey List since he had the baby and whatever.

It should be a great hang. Hope to see you there. Let's move on to the douche bag not fit to serve. Holy shit. Thank you. It's only the most important one up there. November 9th, the tickets aren't on sale yet. They go on sale on the 20th. What's today, Dallas? 17th? Three days. NickDip.com, you go to, or wherever it tells

you to go. November 9th, Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. A nice bastion of conservatism. I hope I don't scare him. I get a little edgy. Hi, good night everybody. I'm free I'm out.