The Nick DiPaolo Show - Dave Smith | Nick Di Paolo Show #1327

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Nick interviews comedian, Dave Smith. Twitter: @comicdavesmith Instagram: theproblemdavesmith Podcasts: Part of the Problem Podcast Legion of Skanks Podcast Yo MMA Wrap Podcast  

Boys and girls, everything in between, make sure to follow me on Rumble, whatever the hell that is. We're posting the show there now too, so you won't miss it. Talk to you later, kids. Mr. DePaulo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Hey, take it easy. Welcome on a filthy Wednesday, folks. How are you? Great show today. My guest, a killer comic, man. I watch him and I go, I should have handled it that way. And I wouldn't be in this position. Dave Smith, New York guy, really frigging funny, really smart, always on top of the news. And Dave, thanks for doing the show. Appreciate it, man. Thanks for having me.

Glad to have you, man. You're one of the few guys out there that, and I'm serious, when I watch you, I go, God damn it. I get jealous a lot of bits, and I'm like, I guess I didn't have to say cunt as much. What's going on, man? I mean, you're still in new york right

no no i'm out in jersey now i got out of uh i got out of new york with all the covet insanity i was just gonna say this guy when i asked that i'm like he wouldn't stick around for that horse shit no i mean i'm not not that new jersey is much better but i'm out in like the country in new jersey so i got a big piece of property and got my family the fuck out of that shit. You hear that? That's a comedian. He's got a big piece of property in New Jersey, and he's got a family.

So it can be done. You can do comedy and sell coke to kids in your free time. A lot of people don't know that about Jersey, by the way. i didn't either till i did a gig with colin quinn um i think it was a college it was a beautiful theater in the middle of nowhere and we're driving through all this beautiful country and um i had only seen like

most of the americans only seen the term pike and newark it's like a weird it's weird it's like everything else in the country like it happens it happens slowly and so you kind of just get used to it slowly but then all of a sudden you're like wait is there a fucking dude in a thong giving a lap dance to like a seven-year-old like how how did we get here but it's like it is like i grew up in new york city so my whole life i'm from brooklyn born and raised and then at a certain point it was just kind of like wait a minute so like everyone's in masks and there's a homeless dude pissing on the street and there's like i'm raising my kid here when i don't have to like i could i could just choose not to i should choose that yeah absolutely but not everybody's in a position especially

comedian wise to make the jump like you did, right? That's what I'm saying. This guy's got his shit together, and it's no accident. I didn't even know you had kids, Dave. I don't know you that well personally, but what do you got, one, two? No, I got two, little girl and little boy. Nothing, not a sermon that's in between those? Like little whatever they are now. A little boy and a little girl how how young

my daughter's four and my my boy's one holy shit it's another thing i i lay in bed sometimes and i regret that too but then i say to the pig next to me that i picked up at the uh funny bone i say listen you sweaty no um so this you have to you have no choice you have to work which is good you know i mean you got mouths to feed and um is there plenty of stage time out there for you what's i don't know what the scene is anymore i pick my spots i i do it you know maybe once twice a month. But what's it like? Do people still go to the cellar every night? Do you drive into the city or?

No, I basically, especially after COVID, I just kind of like, I bailed on the like doing city spots regularly and stuff. And I also, I just kind of grew to hate the comedy scene. Oh, thank you. Like I just, I kind of, I got a big enough of an audience from the podcast shit so i do my podcast and then i just headline on the road and i just i'll try to go a couple weekends a month or something like that and i just i can talk to my crowd i let you know like i i love in my heart of hearts i'm like an old school comedy purist and i love the idea that it's like now you can't

just work out in front of your crowd you got to like test how good you can do in front of just like a random crowd but i just uh at some point the random crowds just i started to hate them and it wasn't even like i it's not like oh i want to try to win them over because they're a tough crowd like it used to be like that now it's just like oh you're all a bunch of bitches if i just say the wrong thing you're gonna like this like fake outrage shit and i just after a while i was like i don't i just don't really want to do that anymore i'll occasionally do spots here and there but basically i'm like i want to i want to work on my hour for my people to put out to them and that's that that's the feeling i was getting about halfway through my career i was way ahead of people looking at the audiences

as whiny bitches. No, I know exactly. I'm doing the same thing. Thank God that a podcast, the people, plus I've been around a lot longer than you, they know what they're going to get.

And I pick my spots. I live in Savannah, Georgia. There's nowhere to work out. There's not really a comedy club seating, and I'm not going to drive to South Carolina 40 minutes to do a fucking set. Sorry, I'm past that. So I sort of show up, Dave, and I don't want to say I wing it all, but bullet points, and I think I have the ability to do a lot of shit off the cuff. I'm not talking work in the audience either. I mean,

working bits out, you know, I'm talking about writing on stage and you've been doing it long enough where I can dig myself out of a hole if I have to, but the people are coming to see me, they're paying decent. And I was like you, the comedy seller for the last,

I'd say three, four years, you know, my act is always sort of rubbed. It's on the campus of fucking NYU. So let's say, you know, I'm going to rub a table of Asian girls freshmen and why you the wrong way and And so it was getting a struggle every year and then one night I got on there. I see David towel getting moaned For you know what a midget blowjob

I mean a brilliantly written and I go Jesus Christ You got to be kidding me and that sort of i don't know i it took the steam out of me mentally every time i went on after that night i was getting eaten alive and i used to tell the audience to fuck off and and and the underground and and i'm like why am i trying to people i i i developed my whole act in front of these liberal uh it's been sort of a well it's almost like something like kind of flipped i feel like like it used to kind of be yes like at least the way i felt about it was like hey if you went into like a hostile crowd yeah and you could have something that's so funny that it kills in front of them

then that's making it as strong as it could be you know because then it's like oh it's really gonna kill in front of like a good crowd right but it almost like flipped to something where it's like it's not there like really with the rise of the woke shit it's not how funny the thing is right it's that you're not allowed to be on this side of the issue or talk about this topic and so you're not making your bit stronger by working out in front of those people you're actually making yourself weaker by being like well let me let me put together an act that could work for them but i'm not trying to do that like i want to joke about the shit i want to joke about

and so like i just like the freedom of like going in front of my crowd where i could say whatever the fuck i want to say and they're they're there for it and there's like there's a real asymmetry between like like the left and the right broadly speaking on this shit like it's not you know you could go you could go to right-wing audiences and i know i got a bunch of fucking friends who are like real degenerate you know comedians and really and they could go make a joke from the perspective of like abortion is fine and right-wing crowds will judge it as a piece of comedy exactly like they'll be like okay that was funny that was a really funny abortion joke whereas like left-wing crowds judge your comedy as a political speech like it's like oh no you're on the wrong side of this i will shut off

from from laughing at it and there is something like if you really don't want to laugh at shit you can make yourself not laugh at it right you know like if you I I used to use this example I said if you picked your favorite comedy like your favorite comedy movie ever and someone said I'll give you 10 million dollars if you sit down in front of your favorite comedy movie and don't laugh the whole time you would do it and collect the 10 million dollars because you can make yourself not laugh at something if you want to, even if it's your favorite thing. I was just like a certain point with a lot of those people where I was like, I'm done trying. I don't care to win you over.

And it's worse than ever. Yes, it got to a saturation point, but it's sort of been like that as far. Every interview, I've been doing this 30-something years, and I remember 25 years ago seeing people interviewing me. I go, here's the difference between the left and the right. I can laugh at Al Franken, but he won't laugh at me. I was

saying that when Al Franken was on it. I mean, so it's been like that for a while, but now, like you said, they don't even try to meet you halfway. They don't even try to meet you halfway. You're not supposed to, comedy's not supposed to be where you come out and you're already in a hole. You're supposed to start at a level, I'll put myself in the hole, give me time. You know what I mean? You're not supposed to be where you come out and you're already in a hole you're supposed to start at a level i'll put myself in the hole give me time you know i mean i'm supposed to come out

and and that's again and it's based on that i'm morally superior that's where they start that's where that fucking mindset starts did you see uh it was real interesting to me but that guy um what's his name yo uh yeah the the jewish gay dude who's like the twitter yeah y'all y'all roth yes so he's do you see the tweets of his coming out from like 2010 but he's like it's he's just it's really funny because it's like it's before the world of modern wokeism and so he's just got these tweets uh like one of them was like he goes uh which i actually i found it kind of funny and like endearing but one like one of them was like he goes uh which i actually i found it kind of funny and like endearing but one of his tweets he was like well it wouldn't be a trip uh

to new york city without a giant tranny yelling at you i did not hear about that really and it's and it's just like oh yeah because remember there was a time when we were all just allowed to be people and he was completely fine with it wasn't until the rules got written that that's violence or something like that that he became whatever he is now and so it's just a weird it's so weird to like look at that and go i mean this is 2010 this isn't like fucking wow 1815 you know what i mean this is not that long ago right we used to all just be able to be regular people like before these rules were written and now it's like it's really amazing how people fall in line with it and if you were to say

that now that same guy who said that he would look at you like you're fucking hitler for even just making this observation which is like an obvious funny thing it's like yep that's part of new york all right there might be a gigantic tranny screaming at you like okay that being said why do you think a guy like that is more susceptible to that group think that group think conformity horse shit than you or me or somebody else well i think he you know he him specifically he got offered a seat at the table you know like he's he got right it's people the woke shit is not driven by like genuine outrage it's like they're not when people like people where they try to cancel you or something like that or they get you know whatever the latest thing with you is that they're you know something on

your album cover or something was offensive or whatever the fuck it is they go i picked the black guy out of a fucking stock photo and i'm still paying for it that's what you're talking about my last cell it's unbelievable i hope joe rogan's watches when people saw that yeah they weren't their their reaction was not uh like oh my god i'm so offended by this their reaction that was like yes we got him you know what i mean right that's not that they're offended it's that they get into the i i can get you with this ideology. So that's why people like that get sucked into it. Cause he's like, oh yeah, now I get to be the guy going around getting everybody else. But why is it?

Why is it? Oh, I can get him. He's on the other team. I don't look at it like that. You know what I mean? I really think it has to do with how they get picked on in school. How, what, Joel Roth, I'm guessing he wasn't a captain of the fucking football team. I know that sounds kind of presumptuous of my part,

and he works for Twitter. But I'm just saying, why do they look at it? When I sat down, I just did an interview with this guy who was an Army guy, and I was telling him, when I first got into comedy, I was fresh out of college. I played football. I sat down at the comedy table either in Boston or New York. And there's another kid, Kevin Flynn, a comic from Boston.

He was an All-American soccer player. We were both jocks. We sat at the table in Boston, and Janine Garofalo and the rest of them looked at us like, you know, what are you doing on our turf? And I got out at the comedy cellar when I moved down there in 1990. You know what I mean? I didn't look at them as the fucking enemy i you know i mean i didn't even know that existed but then you get in this industry it's a lot of you know a lot of kids who didn't know how to throw a baseball and and whatever

lower self-esteem or whatever and they were they were looking they were looking at me like i was you know on their turf yeah well there's just look man there's different people have different mentalities and some people have very authoritarian there's different people have different mentalities and some people have very authoritarian mentalities some people have very libertarian mentalities and some people have you know what i mean and then yeah it's like in comedy how you know like there's like this huge divide in stand-up between the people who are there to do comedy and the people who are there to get famous and you know and by the way not that not that the ones who get famous don't sometimes do really good comedy right and the ones who do really

good comedy sometimes get famous right but there's just a difference between that like like however you feel about the like david tell is there to do comedy he's there to like work out the the latest bit like this new bit still needs a tag that's what's motivating david tell that's right amy schumer was there to get famous right you know and and even if you blow guys funny shit and to blow guys and for the free hummus um oh yeah that's a whole lot of it i have a little bit i have a little bone to pick with amy um she on the one part I loved her I used to be nice to her at the table even though I'm a sexist um and if she had a dick nobody'd know who she is but no she was actually funny Amy's actually funny I'm just fucking around but um she put me in this not to make this about

me but she had that show whatever inside Amy Schumer's ass whatever the fucking title was and she did a whole episode of 12 Angry Men and based it around me and it's the best thing i've ever done in front of a camera and i was so you know cut to a few years later uh quite a few years and i put out this last special i asked her think of we were still friends could you put this on your site on your social media whatever and she you know she wouldn't because of my politics so may she may she find a lump in her tit anyway but what happened with amy i think ultimately was that like she it was just like look she was there to get famous and so ultimately when it came down to a choice between the comedy

or what needed to be done in that moment to be famous right it was an easy choice for her that it was like no this is what i'm here for and you see that a lot like in comedy you know you'll be at like just for laughs or something like that and there's like the comics who are like they are in a circle of comics all making each other laugh and then there's the comics who are like chatting it up with the industry people you know what i mean and it's just i'm just it's just a different mentality and i think that some people really with woke shit, they got really drunk on the authoritarian tendency to like, I can ruin other people now. I get to hold this power and decide who we're going to go after and who we're going to like,

you know, campaign against. But it's not from a genuine place of like, I'm outraged or I'm offended. That's all fake. Right. It's fall rage but there's something lacking in their personality where they go oh now it's my turn to punish somebody yeah i think that i think there's something to that yeah a common thread in there and i call it faggotry you know i what you can't it's freedom baby yeah

faggotry um i'll never stop saying shit like that. I'm 60. It's funnier now than ever. Hey, guys. I got the perfect Christmas gift idea for you. Head over to nickdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. They're a great gift for any listener, and it's yet another way for you to support the show. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all

of the Knicker shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on the store button. Again, nickdip.com and I thank you guys very much. That's the beauty of it. Some people ask me that, why do you talk like you're doing? I go, first of all, I'm not a dirty comic. I swear a lot.

I don't rely on my, I don't do pussy-eating, ass-eating jokes. I like to say fuck I don't rely on my, I don't do pussy eating, ass eating jokes. I like to say fuck and talk like I do. If I was sitting next to you at a bar watching the news, that's how I've always handled it, you know. But it's so funny. Dave, you know, by the way, we're talking to a great comedian, Dave Smith, at Comic Dave Smith on Twitter. Go see him, okay, wherever you are. Whether it's Jersey, on the Road, because seriously, it's

smart. I watch your clips. I get jealous a lot of just the premises, you know, and, but a lot of people, you get, it gets, the waters get muddy. They think, oh, you're a dirty comic, you know, but then you have other dirty, Robert Schimmel was dirty, but

brilliantly funny, smart. I say the smart and dumb comedy. It is not dirty and clean. Richard, people think, I've had people say, and this is people in comedy, well, you know, kind of, weak middles from Idaho. Oh, he's a clean comic, but you know, he's clean. That makes him better than

no, no. You don't think I could do 20 minutes on Pop-Tarts? That would be fucking hilarious. Honestly, try talking about real life shit race or whatever, without getting your blood up a little. Oh, do you know what I'm saying? And, and, and I don't know, they, they muddy the waters. I get lumped in with filthy, but I always use shimmel as an example.

That guy's a great comic, had a lot of dirty shit, but it was smart. And it's always the, the guiding thing was always just supposed to be funny clever there's great comics of every stripe and right there's like one of my favorite thing about like old like george carlin specials is that he would just like he would have like some rant about society and then he would just have a fart joke right after it and you just be like it's all it's all just in the spirit of like this is a a funny thought about that, and then here's what's funny about farts. Oh, my God. I've said that about Carl for I don't know how long.

He'll do a brilliant piece, social commentary on something, and then he goes on to anorexic. Ah, shut up and have a sandwich, you dumb cunt. He'd go from, you're like, oh oh my God, this guy's a rocket scientist. But that's how, you know what I mean? That show, there's a full spectrum in there. I love that about him. I can't believe he just said,

I fucking love that about him. Because you can't doubt his genius. And just because he said, have a sandwich, you dumb cunt, on some level, that's genius. He cut through all the bullshit. I'm a big fan of the word cunt and sandwiches, so I love that. But, yeah, no, I can't believe he just said that.

Those are the guys I – and, look, I appreciate – I even – you know, I liked Jerry Seinfeld when I was younger, and I still do. I mean, he was a technician, and it was always smart and stuff. You know, I just – the ones I despise now, they're kind of like the white comics who, you know, poo-poo the easy stuff. They attack, whatever. You know, I used to say that about the Daily Show.

Ooh, you're going after the Republican Party. What a dangerous target. White people in their 60s or whatever. It seemed a little easy to me. And, you know what I mean? Although it was done well, Jon Stewart I liked, and it was always smart and shit. But I'm just saying go go to the comedy cell and make fun of dominicans you know do a dominican joke when there's five dominicans in front of you that that's how i sort

of separated the it's uh it's my shoulder it's always painful to me when you see comics like repeating dogma or just like staying within the lanes of like where it's like okay you're not allowed to go outside of this area so stay in there and there's something about like i i wouldn't even have a problem with it it's just that that never leads to funny like it's never funny to just repeat the dogmatic thing that everyone else says. Are you listening SNL? Well, that's it. But that's it. Right.

Like, look, the truth is like, it was so, what's so interesting is that there's always like, it's like, you guys could be funny and be from a different point of view. And I, I couldn't even begrudge it if you were, you know, like, it's not like there's not, you know, it's like they wanted, it's like, if you wanted to, if you're a comic and you hate Donald Trump, it's like, okay, but then isn't it so obvious what your task is here? It's like, get the whole room laughing at Trump. And it's not like there's not, I mean, the dude is, he's like a literal cartoon character. Like, I don't know.

He's like, like you see Donald Trump in a room full of human beings. It's almost like a fuck it, like a cartoon walk into the room like the his color his hair everything he doesn't talk like normal people there's just a million things you could rip on him right but it's almost that there's they don't want to just be funny in opposing him they want to be like righteous and like let you know like no seriously i hate this guy and that's never funny that's just not it's a different force than what makes somebody laugh well that's what i said earlier they start at this and and to quote god forbid i quote rush limbaugh but that's why when you argue with a a lib that's where they start at i'm morally superior than you that's where

they're fucking starting and and you know what I mean? And you're right. They go past funny and they want to, like you said, like character assassination. I used to say, but like, you know, Al Franken, who's, I liked him because he was mean. I hated his politics. But his jokes were always smart and kind of mean when he was on Letterman. And I thought I would laugh. But I never met somebody of his ilk that would do the same for a comic. And again, I get labeled as right.

You're a libertarian, Dave, right? Yeah. That's how you label. Basically, that's what I am. I didn't know that because I wasn't really familiar. I get a different definition every time I ask somebody what a libertarian is. But live and let live, fucking, we don't need the government, but for a few things, and that's how my dad was, I get labeled because, you know, I would push the racial envelope as a, you get thrown into that conservative fucking hateful white, whatever, there's a, they, Harvard did

some poll two years ago, I'm a uh you know what a fucking uh alt-right comedian i was on the list of all right it's like jesus have you seen my bit about sandwich shops and uh fake tits and come on go over my full array of well it's kind of i mean it's like someone you know you if you don't think like if you go wait a minute so we're having like drag queen strippers entertaining children they're like that's that just seems insane and they'll be like oh you're a nazi there you go that's basically it you're not like complete you're you're basically categorized as far right if you don't accept the thing that five minutes ago was consensus that across left and right that this is just crazy and that's kind of

the whole the whole fucking thing and it's and it's a i mean it was true even like at the beginning of covet and stuff where you're like you're like wait a minute what the government is locking everyone down like this is insane and they'd be like oh you're what are you one of those awful right-wingers or something you're like but i just but last week if you had proposed this everyone would have thought this was insane. But now we're just going to do it. Yeah. I would always get thrown into, well, right off the tough crowd, obviously.

I was never called a conservative before that show. I get thrown into this, and I would say to Colin, I said, I don't want to be labeled a conservative. He goes, Colin, and I've probably said this to you the last time you were on my radio show years ago. But Colin goes, he goes, this is you, Nick. He goes, you could be telling McDonald jokes. You could do a McDonald joke and people can tell how you voted.

Is that not the perfect analysis? I go, yeah, I guess that is true. But he fought the same thing, Colin, and still does after Tough Crowd when he'd do the road and then interview him in a paper on the radio. You know, they'd label him as conservative. I just stopped arguing. I went, yeah, yeah, I am. I'm fucking to the right

of whoever. I'm Pat Buchanan, which I love, by the way. I've got three of his books. Yeah, I like Pat Buchanan. I've read all his books and stuff. Like, I don't agree with him on everything, but he was brilliant. Not me either. I don't like his tie and his jacket. I don't like his... Other than that, he's right on the fucking money. Yeah, no, exactly.

They wanted to push me to... And I go, fine. I stopped correcting them, you know? And yeah, I'm a concern. Whatever. I said, first of all, in show business, if you lean right on two out of 20 issues, you're a Nazi. There's no wiggle room there. You know what I mean?

I don't really give a shit about abortion. Gay marriage I don't give a shit about. You know what I mean? I want segregation back. So what I was saying. No, no. It's just one. Just one.

Now this will get cut. Well, if this show was, you know, and they'll throw that out there if i was famous um no but just this one you do one thing and you're a fucking you're well i'm like i'm like a hardcore libertarian on everything so i have a lot of positions that like i i would think traditionally at least would be seen as more left wing than then right wing like i'm i'm totally i think everyone has a right to live whatever goofy lifestyle they want to i i i guess i i reject this kind of like lgbtq movement where it's like not i it's not about like do they have a right to live this lifestyle it's like do i endorse and praise it you know what i'm saying so it's like like you can identify as trans you know

what i mean if you're an adult go ahead call yourself whatever you want do whatever you want with your life but to demand that i participate in this delusion right is is what i object to it's like well no like there's no such thing as a woman born into a man's body like you're you're just a man who wants to live life as a woman but like whatever i don't care i think all drugs should be legal i oppose all the wars and and always have been against all of them i have lots of like views that wouldn't be considered typically like right wing it's just like like you said it doesn't matter it's the new game for kind of like the woke progressive is it's like complete compliance or you're on the other team so it doesn't matter

what it is if you're not completely down like what i just said about trans people right to any normal person you'd be like look i'm saying like you have the right to live your life the way you want to the right to call yourself whatever you want to no one has the right to do anything to you like violence and i don't think people should be hateful, but I don't believe it's a real thing that you can change your gender. Like to a normal person, you'd be like, oh, okay, he's cool with them. But to a left winger, they literally just heard hate speech

because of that last part where I said, I don't believe it's actually true that you're a woman born in a man's body. Right, right. They, well, what about this? And I laugh and I say this on stage. Again, I'm not a conservative, but when they start doing the shit like you said, trying to force you to partake in their wet dreams, you know,

as far as telling me what pronouns to call you by and that type of shit, then I go, you know what you're doing? You're making those conservatives that everybody laughed at in the 50s and 60s, the ones that said gay people are coming for your children. You know what you're making them look fucking right right now so i was born in 1983 so i was like a kid in the in the 90s and i remember when the gay marriage debate came up and hearing uh jerry falwell right say that if you legalize gay marriage the next that the next step will be they'll be coming after the kids and i remember thinking that had to be the most retarded argument ever like just laughing at him like what an idiot the idea that what if because you let two adult gay men get

married then the next step from that is going to be what that they're going to try to turn your little boy into a little girl what a ridiculous like like fucking argument let me can i stop you right there that's because you were growing up in brooklyn yeah now if you were in ohio and you heard that as a kid you might go yeah he's right well look it's hard to deny that one happened and then the other happened and so i don't know if they were like, you know, if it had to go that way, but you would think. And I do. You know, I watch this shit all the time. I'll just be like, did they are they not at all concerned about the backlash? Like, are you not even a little bit concerned about the fact that you are making right wing radicals out of fucking people in the middle that you are making right-wing radicals out of fucking people in the middle

that you're making them like i feel a little bit of my right-wing dictator come up every time i see one of these these trans with kids shows where you're like we're like we there there's gonna be a right a real right-wing dictator if they keep pushing it like this like eventually people won't take it you're looking at i, I'm a little old, God damn it. But I think I get 10 years in me. Um, no, you're right. What the fuck? Mussolini.

He's, I know that's, that's not considered right. I, I laugh at it because my parents went to Italy like 25 years ago to look up my father's roots and shit. And, and it's a true story. They, they have my grandmother's passport and it was, her last name was, her maiden name was Shmelyani. And they go up to some,

there was an old guy eating like pasta fazool, literally sitting in a chair on a sidewalk eating pasta, you know. And they show, they were looking for my where my grandfather's town and they show my grandmother's passport and he goes, Schmilyari. Oh, fascista.

Apparently fascist. So they go, they find my grandmother's inn and her husband, the headstone was there. There's a picture of my grandfather. He's got the horn-rimmed glasses with a fedora. Fucking, like the flower on the little, like, straight

out fascist. I always say to people now you know where i get my politics from as long as the trains are running on time and nobody's getting pushed in front of them i actually had a good bit about that i never developed um you're right dave though i you know i say that on stage all the time well how about um again we're talking a great comic dave smith um How about with the racial shit? I mean, it's coming full circle on the Harvard campuses. They want to have segregated dorms, graduation. It's like you're agreeing with Bo Conner and the rest of them and Wallace.

Maybe they had a point. Maybe that's where I go too far. But I go, maybe they had it right. Maybe my parents should have stayed the fuck in italy you should have stayed well maybe i mean i'll i'll just be like the the moderate fence sitting uh centrist or whatever on it but i do think it's like no like the the left because of the nature of like the progressive mindset it's like they can never take the victory when they get it and so

you almost go like look man you guys won you guys won martin luther king won yes he won over the country yes he straight up won with his argument that you should judge people based on the individual not based on the color of their skin right and that basically was accepted by americans and then after a slight like little break where that was just accepted, they had to go further and further and further and further and try to get more and more and more. And it's like, look, if I think they could have just left well enough alone and we could have just been a free country. But if you're going to make the case that the progressives are making, it's almost like the conclusion from that is that Bull Connor and them were right. Because if you're going to tell me that even, you know, 70 years after a civil rights movement or 60 years after the civil rights movement first starts, and you win all these legislative victories, and then you have racial set-asides

and affirmative action and a welfare state and all of these cultural changes. And if you're going to tell me, even after all of that, we're still in a white supremacist society and it's still so horrible to be a minority. It's almost like the only conclusion is like, well, then I guess we shouldn't have mixes of the races. I guess we should just have homogenous societies with no, because if it's still, if all of this is still such a big problem after all of that, then what hope is there, you know? And so like, so I don't agree with their framing, but if you, if you accept their framing, the logical conclusion is almost like, all right,

then I guess the fucking just none of this can work. That's right. I'm wearing my George Wallace tie tomorrow. Uh, somebody, I was at a show, some guy hands me a necktie, and it's got a little guy's face all over it, you know? And I go, what the fuck is that? I have no idea. I think I showed Colin Quinn.

I think I took a picture of it. He goes, it's fucking George Wallace. I'm wearing it on the show. I should have wore it on the... Imagine if I went on national TV with it. Nobody would have known who the fuck it was. Yeah, no, that's, but I, but that's exactly right they've gone so you know why there's too much money and not pushing

that woke horse shit you know i mean al al sharpton what would he have done jesse jackson in their time what would they have done for work if they didn't help uh right well yeah and it's like everything else revolution got bought so if you look at like uh you know the the huge like uh military budgets that were built up during the cold war and it was like okay well this is because we have to fight the communists we have the soviet union and so we have to have these gigantic you know like military budgets we have to have nato we have to have bases all over the place and then all of a sudden the fucking soviet union disbands right and a lot of the good conservatives like the pat Pat Buchanans at the time, they were like, okay, great.

Now we get to go back to being a normal country. Right. And we can end NATO and we can bring all our troops home and all of this. Yes. But the thing is, you got this big money-making machine that's already set up. You got all these weapons companies making tons of money. And they're like, actually, we got to go see about this Saddam Hussein guy. Actually, we got to go fight this other thing and so in the same sense when you have this big you you build up these institutions

to like fight racism and then what happens if they beat racism right everyone go okay well i guess we'll all get other jobs now i guess we'll all get out of here i guess we'll just dismantle the whole thing or do they go um i see more racism i mean this is what you say look the gay marriage was one that was it the battle's over after that but now they're going on suing because some baker didn't want to make a cake for some gay dude or something there's no civil rights issue there it's just they got to find something to justify their fucking budget goddamn jew lawyers you know Goddamn Jew lawyers. You know, I... What? No. Yeah, no, you're exactly right. Well, it's like there's no money in curing cancer.

You know what I mean? Right? You don't want to wipe that out, then what are you going to do with this infrastructure you've built up and the big farm and all that? Dave, thank you so much for doing this, brother. My time's up here. We got a... What do we got a...

Trans dance to go to at seven o'clock? You're the man, Nick. Thank you so much for having me. Guys, go see Dave Smith at Comic Dave Smith. Anything you want to plug as far as road gigs or anything? Yeah. New Year's Eve. I'm at the comedy store with my brother, Louis J. Gomez.

And then I got a bunch of stuff coming up next year. ComicDaveSmith.com. All my dates are comedy store la yep oh good for you brother great room all right thanks dave again all right brother i'd like to uh thank a great uh guest uh dave smith great comedian seriously if he's in your town or anywhere near, go see him. He's really, really funny, really smart, and he's got a great career going for himself. That is it. You guys think it? I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow. Have a great day, everybody.

Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo I'm going to go ahead and do that. Music