The Nick DiPaolo Show - Deposing the Dogface | Nick Di Paolo Show #309
Episode Date: March 3, 2020Biden bumbling again. Klobuchar beating a dead horse. Chris Matthews quits. Thank you Derrick M from Janesville, WI for your "Ask Nick!" question and for supporting the show. MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST... #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir
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🎵 Oh yeah, how are you folks?
Welcome to the show on a filthy Tuesday in the state of Georgia.
Why am I dressed like a bail bondsman?
I don't know.
What the fuck?
Kind of good look.
Kind of a greasy Hispanic slash Italian slash Dominican slash any type of drug dealer.
Know what I'm saying, folks?
Good to be with you today.
I'm in one of my rare fucking moods.
I have Nick the pig as a friend.
What is that supposed to mean?
You're with me for the next hour or so.
I just can't leave.
I just can't leave.
Raz, no footage of you on camping?
No, no footage.
Nothing?
Raz can't show himself on this show.
He's going to lose all street cred in the black community in Richmond
Hill or wherever the fuck it is. Anyways, it's pissing me off. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not
going to take this anymore. What is going on? Let's get right to it since, I don't know, it's
important to do that at the top of the show. Get right to it, you know, because of iTunes and all
this other fucking horse shit. Don't work at your own pace and enjoy your own show.
Just fucking dance like a monkey.
Finally, they're going after the thick-ankled fucking dog-faced whore Hillary Clinton.
Do you know who Judicial Watch is?
Tom Fitton runs it.
He's on Fox News all the time.
This guy does God's work also.
He goes after people, you know, foyers.
We have the right to know us people
what the government is doing right and he does all the paperwork that allows us to find out
and he's not letting up on hillary and her fucking emails like the rest of the world did
in the obama administration spying on trump fucking biggest scandal makes dwarfs watergate
but nobody's talking about it because they went on to find other shit to try to impeach Trump on like a phone call.
Anyways, Judicial Watch going after some records of Hillary Clinton.
And thank God it's time for that thick ankle dog face.
I'm going to go to jail.
Let's not kid ourselves here.
But maybe something can happen to her as she's crossing the street to get a Cinnabon in Westchester. What difference at this
point does it make? Oh, it makes a lot of difference, you pig. You put fucking. Hey,
put her back in her stall. What difference does it make? She's using a personal server and all
this. Look at. Oh, my God, she looks tired.
This is her when she was 18 years old.
Anyways, I think we have a clip of Tom Fitton
talking about going after Hillary
and we're not going to let this rest.
A D.C. District Court judge
today ordered the deposition of Hillary Clinton in a Judicial Watch lawsuit.
The former Secretary of State will have to answer questions under oath about her emails and the Ghazi attack documents.
Judge Royce Lambert stated the following in his ruling, quote,
The State Department has thus failed to persuade the court that all of Secretary Clinton's recoverable emails have been located.
This is unacceptable.
Yeah, and we've been talking about it for what now? Three years?
So what's going to happen?
It all depends on the judges.
That's probably a guy, a judge who leans right or whatever, right?
Or just sees the, you know, he's not subjective.
He interprets the law.
It's supposed to be interpreted.
And then it'll get appealed.
And then some schmuck liberal judge will send it back to Weber.
I don't exactly know how it works.
But do you believe we're just getting to this now?
This is before Trump was president. And we're just getting to this shit now.
So don't tell me there's not two levels of justice, even when it comes to politicians.
Please dig deep on her.
She fucking bleach-bitted her.
Some guys that work for her smashed their cell phones, literally with hammers,
and they couldn't find 33 000 but
let's just overlook that because trump was doing a quid pro quo with the president of ukraine
which turned out to be oh and the 19 other hoaxes since then but she gets a walk i somebody explain
that to me is every goddamn judge and lawyer a democrat i think so i think so. I think so. But say goodbye to thick-ankled dog face, hopefully,
but we know. She'll have to work at a car wash like three Saturdays in a row and do a bake sale
and apologize to fucking... You know what I'm saying, right, Hillary? You pig. What difference
at this point does it make? It makes a lot of difference. Dig deep, Tom Fitton.
He's always on.
He's got a nice head.
He's got hair like mine.
He's got kind of a lazy eye.
Fucking brilliant, though.
Always submitting these FOIA things.
You know, that's Freedom Act of Information,
whatever the fuck it is.
Anyhow, let's get on with our favorite fella,
this guy.
Howie hasn't owned sitcom yet.
That will be Uncle Joe Biden. He
fucking gave us a couple more gaps in the last couple of days. Look at him in the fighting.
He's all ready to go. Hey, who wants to do one arm pushups? Who wants to challenge Uncle Joe?
Is there a clean, literate minority in the audience who's articulate and clean and showers
more than I do? Come on up here and I'll belt you right in the fucking mouth.
He's all cocky after a South Carolina win.
And again, we all know why he won that,
because he had the first African-American president's back as the vice president.
South Carolina, I really got to question you.
Do you really think this guy is fit to be the president of the after all the gaffes? And
he keeps them coming. Now, I've had a theory on this for a while that he does this intentionally
because what happens when he does these gaffes? They go viral on the Internet. Fox News comes
on a loop. Any conservative publication covers him on a loop. I mean, that's how he reminds me.
I swear to God, he's a great actor.
He's like Vincent the Chin, the crazy Columbo guy.
I don't know if he's in the Columbo family or Gambino.
He used to walk around on his bathrobe in Greenwich Village in New York City
when he was being tried for murder and racketeering shit.
Literally, in the middle of the day, he'd be in a bathrobe walking down the street like he's Cuckoo.
Cuckoo my ass.
It's what Uncle Joe's doing.
He goes, I'll get attention.
Either that, if it's not that, he really is fucking senile or retarded.
Either way, not what I'm looking for in the leader of our country, our next president.
So here he is on Super Thursday.
That's what he called it.
Look, tomorrow is Super Thursday.
And I want to thank you all.
I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?
You can't even get out of it.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
Oh, fucking idiot. What are we doing? What's going on right now? Oh, fucking idiot!
What are we doing? What's going on right now?
Look at the black girl on the left going, I can't believe I voted for this stupid old cracker.
And look at the lady on the right. She's just got her eyes closed.
And then I don't know who fucking, who was that, Colonel Sanders' nephew right over her shoulder?
He's perplexed.
And look on the far right, Eric Dickinson's father.
The running back's dad going, what the fuck?
Play that, Raz, play that again.
Look, tomorrow's Super Thursday, Tuesday.
And I want to thank you all.
I tell you what, I'm rushing ahead, aren't I?
He got, I mean, if he's not doing it intentionally he has no confidence
speaking in public and trump said at a recent rally i think trump's watching this show and a
lot of other because i fucking how long by saying he's going to be in a fucking nursing i'm sure
everybody's saying that but i'm pretty sure you know trump said if he does if biden ever won he'd
be in a they'd put him in a home and all the rest all the leftists
would run it he'd be you know titular uh president but they'd be running it behind the scenes he
can't even get a fuck he can't even get super tuesday right oh nick you just pick it again if
it was an isolated incident i'd ignore it but mother Well, Nick, why do you say, you know, it's, well, I'll prove it's not an isolated answer.
Here's another one from over the weekend, I do believe.
He fucked up again.
Uh-oh, retard alert.
Retard alert.
Listen to this one.
I can't even make this clear.
We owe these truths to be self-evident.
All men and women created by the... You know the thing.
You know you're a fucking mumbling,
stuttering little fuck. You know that?
Uh-oh. Retard alert.
Retard alert.
Hey, those are
the same people. Is this the same?
This wasn't the same rally, right?
Yeah, it had to be the same rally. Is this the same? This wasn't the same rally, right? It isn't. Was that black guy
with glasses over? Huh? He wasn't there. This was supposed to be a different day, wasn't it? He did.
He, he did both these at one. No, you're right. This Dickinson's old man. Oh, did you go back to
the, he can't even recite the constitution or the Bill of Rights or the first any of it.
Do it again.
We all these truths to be self-evident.
How about that?
All men and women created by.
Go.
You know, you know.
Oh, retard alert.
Oh, my God.
Fucking mumbling, stuttering.
Fuck. You know that all men and women they were created at the ford the pontiac uh the factory in japan you know the prius pontiac thing
they're all you know what it is i pledge allegiance to the uh the fucking uh what do you call the
thing it's hanging from a stick outside. You've seen it.
What a jack off.
That's about how much the Constitution means to them anyways.
Or whatever he was reciting.
I shouldn't, but I'm a comedian.
I don't have to know this shit.
Four score and three weeks ago, I went to a 7-Eleven.
You have to be an Indian to work there.
Yet he was clean and articulate for a minority. I love New
Hampshire. Look at the mountains of Honolulu. Cuckoo. Oh, they got to up his, you know what,
his Zoloft, whatever the fuck he's here. And this is the guy who is still up there. You got to be
dog style of me. And Trump made a great come out of Trump made this money blunders.
Seriously.
And I don't want to hear anymore how much Trump
fucking lies.
I don't want to hear it anymore.
We just started counting
lies when Trump became president.
He lies about the size of his
inauguration crowd and stuff.
And Obama lies about health
care. A little different thing, you know, spying.
I know nothing about it.
Excuse me.
That's 11 cups of coffee.
And I went to the Olive Garden last night.
You heard me, folks.
Picture this face at the Olive Garden.
Even they were shocked.
They're like, what are you doing in here?
You're Italian, right?
Well, you better get the hell out of here, boy.
This ain't no Italian.
I had a few drinks immediately.
It was right next to the bar.
And I was just craving carbs.
I did fucking nine miles on the elliptical, and I needed fucking carbs.
And I'm like, I got to see how bad this is.
People make fun of it and shit.
And I got to tell you, it didn't disappoint.
When you get pasta and they put the sauce over the top instead of,
when you make, let me give you a little tip, folks.
When you're making spaghetti or pasta, you put the sauce right in the pan you cook the sauce.
Then you put the pasta in the sauce and cook it together.
That way all the noodles get coated with the sauce.
The minute you see white spaghetti with like a spoonful of,
there's some real Georgians back in that kitchen there.
How do you like that ziti, boy?
That is a bologna sauce.
Oh, my God.
The breadsticks are tremendous, though.
Just what I heard.
But I was very disappointed.
There wasn't much on the menu.
I see a commercial during the day for the lunch specials.
Everything's stuffed with cheese and there's a lasagna.
Mario Batali's right in the kitchen making the shit.
I look at him as a fucking rodeo clown and two traffic cops.
I don't know.
What the fuck?
Anyways, I have to get to some shout outs right now.
Okay.
These are people who are donating to the show.
Contributions donate.
Donation sounds like I'm homeless.
I guess we'll go with contributions.
But this is very important.
This show is now free four days a week.
You guys are going to keep it on, you know, by donating, and I appreciate that.
We still have Patreon because people like to contribute any way they can, you know.
But these people contributed at nickdip.com.
These people contributed at NickDip.com.
Robert Malky, Texas.
Lori Bassett, Nebraska.
Nathan Caputo, Massachusetts.
That sounds familiar.
Frank Protano.
Frank Protano, New York.
Nick, I like what you're doing.
You're dropping the C word.
You're calling out the Jews.
Here's a five spot. Or more than that. I don't you're doing. You're dropping the C word. You're calling out the Jews. Here's a five spot.
Or more than that.
I don't have the amounts.
David Bra, Utah.
Now, it says monthly supporters.
These are people that joined Patreon.
Gary Lynch, Stacy DeVillier, Ron Dons.
Really, Ron?
Is that a? Rusty Crumley? That guy's in it. If he doesn't
run a gas station in fucking Athens, Rusty, how's that fucking timing belt look? Well, boy,
ain't good news. James Shuff and Philip Lynch. They all joined up Patreon. Thank you guys so
much. This is how we're going to keep this thing going.
Okay? I don't know how to do
anything else. I don't dance. Is Rocky
saying, yeah, because I don't dance? Yeah.
I don't sing. Remember
the first Rocky? Anybody?
Speaking of Patreon members
and the election, we have a good
question. Wait a minute. Do we want to do that
already, Raz? Yeah, it fits in. It does it? Okay. Everybody's fucking directing the show now, Tommy, Raz. We have a good question. Wait a minute. Do we want to do that already, Raz? Yeah, it fits in.
It does it?
Okay.
Everybody's fucking directing the show now, Tommy, Raz.
I have nothing to do with my own show, but go ahead.
Derek M. from Janesville, Wisconsin.
My dad thinks that the thick-ankled dog face Hillary
will backdoor her way into the nomination
in Milwaukee at the DNC convention. What are your thoughts on
that? My thoughts on that is your dad is very perceptive. I think that's a real possibility
because the thick-ankled, dog-faced whore who we aforementioned, Pig, that we mentioned earlier,
she did win the popular vote, you know, so that's why they haven't given up on her yet.
But there are a lot of people in the Democrat Party. You look at Bernie and how far left they've
gone. Right. She's a goddamn right winger in the party now. So that might be a big problem.
Depends how much momentum. But but like I said, your father might be right only because she won
the popular vote. And, you know, they're still hanging on to that.
Remember the Dems like we want to change the electoral college.
Oh, it doesn't work this time for you.
So let's change it.
You fucking children of the corn, you.
But there's a distinct I don't know.
She'll back in because her ass is like fucking two garages wide.
She might have to walk in Ford later on a leash. But that's
definitely a possibility. And what scares
me, why your dad might be right, we haven't
heard from the thick-angled dog until today
when Tom Fitton is going
after her emails. Maybe
that's why he's doing it. Maybe he hears
that she's... When she lays low,
I get nervous. That means she's plotting
shit. Her and Bill are in the kitchen right
now eating fucking Boston cream
pie.
And that's a very distinct possibility.
It's so interesting. I think it's
going to be a broken convention.
Why is this show so fucking political?
I don't know. That's all I'm
getting for stories. I mean, I pick most of them.
But you can't ignore this.
This is Super Tuesday. Super Thursday.
This is Wednesday afternoon, Monday night. It is Super Tuesday or Thursday, according to Joe Biden. So this is the
big deal. A ton of delegates are up, like a third of delegates are up for grabs. After that, I don't
even understand how it works. And I've read papers, people who
talk about this for a living on TV actually say in the article, here's where I get a little
confused. So if they can't explain it as far as delegates and, you know, it's not the number of
votes or whatever, you know, you can win more delegates than you do states or whatever and
still win. But Bernie is fucking surging, man. He's got a train that's rumbling down the tracks
and maybe the only thing that's going to stop
is the thick-ankled dogface's giant ass.
Could be.
Good question.
So thank this question.
You know who else dropped out recently
out of the race other than Pete Buttigieg.
That very, very funny woman, that charismatic, hilarious broad
from the Minnesota area.
You know who I'm talking about, Amy Klobuchar.
And there's a thing going around.
She made a joke a couple press calls.
She's done now, so it was a few days ago.
But we're going to show it to you in a second,
but it just shows how humorless they they bump into funny. And this wasn't even close to
funny. You know how I know that? Rich Wood sent me this clip. Our old producer, who was no Shecky
Green himself, but we still love him. And he titled his email. Where's the joke? I don't get it.
He titled his email. Where's the joke? I don't get it. So he sends it to me. Well, here it is. The president actually sent out a tweet.
He made fun of me talking about climate change in the middle of a blizzard.
And he called me Snow Woman. So I wrote back, hey, Donald Trump, the science is on my side.
And I'd like to see how your hair would fare in a blizzard.
So I wrote back, hey, Donald Trump, the science is on my side and I'd like to see how your hair
would fare in a blizzard. So I wrote back, Donald Trump, the science is on my side
and I'd like to see how your hair would bear in a blizzard
sometimes if you haven't noticed you use a little humor like when he called me snow woman at my
announcement in the middle of that look she's so proud of this fucking joke on twitter i'd like to
see how your hair would fare in a blizzard oh my god you edgy bitch hey donald trump
hey donald trump so i wrote back i wrote back i tweeted back
and i'd like to see how your hair would fare in a blizzard.
Mr. Umbrella Man.
And he called me Snow Woman.
So I wrote back, I'd like to see how your hair would fare in a blizzard.
Look at Pete.
There you go.
Oh, my God. Here's what Pete thinks of that joke.
They are humorless. I actually like Pete for giving the part that is him, right?
The proper response. She hung on to that line like she wrote it, and it was brilliant.
Honest to God, that was like a microcosm of the Democrats.
They are the most humorless people.
They wake up every day.
AIDS, hunger, racism, sexism, massage.
Have you ever had a good day in your fucking?
She thought that was brilliant.
And Trump wasn't much funny with Snow Woman.
Jesus, Donnie.
For the love of Christ, you know, I loved it.
But P-Fuck, he's been killing it lately, though.
I just saw a few clips of his latest rallies.
He's got new material.
I mean, he's doing, no, even funnier shit than Mini Mike.
He's like doing stand-up up there.
He's imitating, he was imitating Bloomberg,
and he ducked down behind the mic like he's short and shit.
I mean, he's fucking getting physical with his comedy and shit.
I'd say another two rallies, he's going to have puppets and fucking.
He is enjoying.
Guys, I know your fans are mine,
so you obviously like them, people that watch his show.
But even if you hate him,
you're not fucking joining a president that doesn't take himself to God.
No.
The coronavirus is going to kill you.
Fucking Russian.
Fucking guy is killing me.
I was a Reagan fan, but I'm sorry.
This motherfucker.
Whenever I told you when he was running, he made fun of a person in a wheelchair for the New York Times.
That's when I said, where do I pull the lever?
This guy's a fuck.
He does not give a shit.
And then I said, I'd like to see how your hair fares.
And I'm like,
More proof that the Democrat Party has no sense of humor that doesn't mean all people like you
know there's lips i like as far as humor goes like john fucking stewart i know i'm not just
from the daily show i know it was a stand-up even al franken i liked him because he was mean
he really hated republicans and his shit was mean when he came on Letterman.
And I used to laugh.
You know why?
Because I'm open-minded.
I'm not like those 10 whores that walked out of my show at Zany's in Rosemont on Saturday night.
10 housewives just wandered in.
I hope Gabriel Inglesias is here or somebody like that.
We can – and I said to the manager, I go, I'll flush these people out in 20 minutes I was off by about five
minutes they left and they all left together I said did you do your research did you even call
the club to see who the comic let me help you people out there who don't understand comedy
we don't all find the same things funny.
But here's the difference with people on the right.
Even if your politics are different than mine, I can laugh at you.
But these intolerant hooahs.
And here's some more intolerance and humorous laughter.
I can't believe we've come to the point where I'm defending Chris Matthews of hardball. I used to call it spitball because he used to foam at the mouth. Ever see
how he spits on his guests? I used to have a reel of it. Whoever he was interviewing, by the time
they were done, it looked like a head and shoulders commercial. The top of his head was
covered. This side's tingling with Chris's foam like a rabid dog. But he recently stepped down. He's out at MSNBC.
You believe that? All right, get up. Yeah.
Yeah, he resigned on Monday night, an abrupt departure from a television perch that made
him a fixture of all the assholes on the far left who watch MSNBC.
Mr. Matthews, 74-year-old white guy.
See how it's going, folks?
They can't get rid of the whitey enough.
Faced mounting criticism in recent days over a spate of embarrassing on-air moments,
including a comparison of Senator Bernie Sanders' campaign to the Nazi invasion of France,
which, again, was not what he was doing. He was using that as a reference. Wasn't calling them Nazis. He's talking about how one-sided it would be.
Even I understood that. On Saturday, the journalist Laura Bassett published an essay
accusing Mr. Matthews of making multiple inappropriate comments about her appearance,
reviving longstanding allegations about the anchor's sexist behavior.
By Monday, his position at the News Network was bent over a chair with his
pants.
No, he helped build, became unattainable.
So he had to resign.
Accompanied by his family, he brought his family with him.
Mr. Matthews walked onto the hardball set inside NBC's Washington Bureau shortly before
7 p.m. Are you right? He should be cheering because this guy was a bit dope to deliver a
brief farewell. His longtime crew members who have been told of his plans roughly an hour earlier,
they were stunned when he came on. Let's take a look at, this is him announcing.
After conversation with MSNBC, I decided tonight will be my last hardball.
So let me tell you why.
The younger generations out there are ready to take the reins.
We see them in politics, in the media, in fighting for their causes.
Pause.
Yeah, and you see them in the-
The president.
Prezzy, what happened?
Yeah, right there.
Yeah, you see him on the front.
You see him on the front steps, hassling people at their homes.
Yeah, you see him in restaurants screaming at Republicans.
You know, the younger generation, they're taking over.
Go ahead.
After a conversation with MSNBC, I decided tonight will be my last hardball.
So let me tell you why.
The younger generations out there are ready to take the reins.
We see them in politics, in the media, in fighting for their causes. hardball. So let me tell you why. The younger generations out there are ready to take the reins.
We see them in politics, in the media, in fighting for their causes. They are improving the workplace.
We're talking here about better standards than we grew up with. Fair standards. A lot of it has to do with how we. Fair standards. Really? Fair standards. Somebody compliments a woman and
they can twist that at that. Look, I'm all the standards are getting better.
You know, women used to get sexual harassment.
Hey, if you don't blow me, you're not getting a raise or I'm firing you.
That's sexual harassment.
But, you know, he complimented a woman on her.
Go ahead.
Talk to each other.
Compliments on a woman's appearance that some men, including me, might have once incorrectly thought were OK.
We're never OK.
Not then and certainly not today.
And pause.
Never okay?
It was never okay?
He said to a woman, why haven't I fallen in love with you yet?
In the makeup chair.
And that ruined her day and shit.
Is that where we fucking are, really?
Well, I'll tell you what.
I've been saying to these guys for years, don't compliment them.
Let them come to you.
See how they like when
they're at a bar and they look across and see a handsome guy they want to meet. Let them come to
you and let them start the conversation. Let them buy the drink and then accuse them of a wreck.
A woman grabbed my ass this weekend. Of course, she was in her late 60s and had false teeth and
shoulders like Brian Urlacher, but we're taking a picture. She didn't mean to.
And I said, that's okay. Ooh, gross. Um, no, go ahead. Or making such comments in the past. I'm
sorry. You never apologize. You dope. That's all he did. And if you know, he made a few other
blunders. Is that it? Oh, for the love of Christ, I shortchangedchanged your ass um here's a few other things he did recently
god forbid the old white man huh fucking unbelievable what other generation um you know
loses their job and gets can't or is punished because they're not adopting fast enough it's
you know old crusty white fellas um matthew starr was increasingly out of step with the Times.
In 2017, he acknowledged Yank had been reprimanded in 1999
after making inappropriate remarks to a female colleague,
prompting a settlement.
In 2008, he was quoted in a magazine profile
declaring that actress Kerry Washington was a total knockout.
Oh, my God.
You're raping me.
This is rape.
This is rape.
This is rape.
Kerry Washington is a total knockout.
In 1999, that wasn't acceptable.
This is one of the – do you see?
They want us to live in a cold and personal world
I told you
the media has been hijacked by the feminist
movement a long time ago I can't
watch another commercial with a
fucking woman hitting a heavy bag
with her hands wrapped like a boxer
you're tough you're strong you're a busy mom
you're a dentist a gynecologist a mechanic
you fucking do it all
let it go
she was a total knockout he gets in trouble for that what the fuck why i don't know nothing about
that i don't either and and and we already mentioned when he compared the bernie followers
to nazi whatever a day later he after that he was under fire again this time
listen to this one repeatedly questioning ms warren about her assertion that michael bloomberg
had mistreated his female employees ms warren was referring to a widely reported anecdote
and mr matthews disbelief was criticized as sexist and dismissive dismissive So even when you disagree with the fucking Nazi women,
you don't have a right to question
that maybe Bloomberg didn't say that.
That's considered
inappropriate behavior now?
What the fuck?
Really?
On Friday,
yet another faux pas.
Here's one.
This is a good one.
Mr. Matthews confused the identities of two African-American politicians.
He's a 74-year-old white guy.
They all look alike to him.
I'm 58 and a half.
Raz, I thought I saw Raz twice yesterday.
At Walmart.
He doesn't even live in my town.
Just like we all look alike to them.
He confused Senator Tim Scott of South Carolina
and Jamie Harrison, a Democrat running for Senate
in that same state.
Big mistake, he said.
Mistaken identity, sir.
Sorry, I should have pulled up the clip.
Mr. Matthews said, after he was corrected on...
Wake up, white people.
Then GQ published Ms. Bassett's article, which said Mr. Matthews in a makeup room had looked at her and asked, why haven't I fallen in love with you yet?
He should have said maybe because he's a shitty personality, but I still like you.
personality, but I still like it. Now, Ms. Bassett went on to describe other comments by Matthews that had made her uncomfortable, writing, it undermined ability for me to do my job well.
Oh, poor you. What a fucking, can't get old whitey out of there fast enough, huh?
The real faux pas was him saying Nazi Germany and confusing the two black. You can't do that on a liberal network.
That just proves he's human.
He's an old white guy.
They can't get us out of the way fast enough.
Well, let me tell you something.
I ain't going nowhere.
And you're like, Nick, we're not trying to get you out of the way.
Nobody knows who the fuck you are.
Well, there'll be a day.
Want to go to war?
I'm going to fuck a war.
want to go to war I'll go to fuck a war
I told you Tony never to fuck me
you fucking little monkey
who the fuck you think you're talking to
hey, coño Tony
I saw the movie a couple weeks ago
it's fucking still running in my head
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Boy, you know what we love
on this show?
I guess we, you know,
Tommy wants me to do segments,
you know, like every other show.
I want to look like
every other show,
sound like every other show. Got a guy who like every other show, sound like every other show.
Got a guy who can talk off the top of his head for two hours, but let's cage him into
segments and make it look like the O'Reilly factor.
We'll call it the greasy guinea factor.
But we could do that.
We love libs eating libs, right?
Well, did you see this clip there's a black woman named
jackie lacey running for attorney general somewhere in california right and she's getting
harassed by black lives matter for her stances on whatever she probably doesn't hate white people as
much as they do anyway some of the black lives matter people are showing up at her house, private residence.
Again, you don't see right wingers doing this at five in the fucking morning harassing them.
And guess what? Jackie's husband, who I would vote tomorrow for attorney general, he ain't having it.
So when I show you this clip, go ahead. I'll explain.
I will shoot you. Get off of my porch.
That's Todd Bridges.
That was a red flag.
5 a.m. at Lacey's home in the Granada Hills.
Hours later, she spoke to the media.
His response was in fear.
Lacey got emotional as she issued an apology for her husband, David.
He wanted to...
The Antichrist.
You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
Okay, go ahead you need to say to the
protesters the person that he showed the gun to that he was sorry after the presser black lives
matter activists had their own conference his finger was on the trigger and he had trained
the gun at my chest pause oh go ahead i'm'm a mother. And act like one. It's five in the fucking morning
and you're all protesting. Where's your kid? I'm a mother with giant Black Lives Matter fucking
earrings. Where's your I hate whitey hat? Black Lives Matters is a terrorist domestic terrorist organization
don't forget the five cops that were killed in Dallas
that night that we forgot so quickly
and nobody likes them
and I love the old man
all I know is I'd vote for Jackie Lacey
we get the fucking black dirty Harry
go ahead make my day.
But think about this. And I was talking to my cop buddy who had the same take as me.
Exactly. This is where we are. Got a black guy pointing a gun at these angry black people who are angry at what?
For white people shooting black people with guns. This is where we are.
Full circle of fucking insanity on race the irony of that
is hilarious anything left as they showed up to lacy's home because she refused to meet with them
to discuss police brutality but lacy condemns her actions saying she's been harassed several times
i will shoot you the latest video in question was posted by Jasmine Kenick. She denies being a part of the protest, but admits she is a communications person for Rachel Rossi.
Rossi is running against Lacey for district attorney.
But it raises the question, if Lacey's husband pulled a registered gun on protesters at his home,
could he legally get in trouble?
I went to legal expert Steve Meister to find out.
If anything, this will be investigated as a misdemeanor brandishing a firearm.
But I don't think that the elements of the crime will be readily shown because it's not clear that he wasn't acting in self-defense.
Exactly.
Don't show up on my fucking lawn.
I won't come at you with a gun.
I have a couple of tomahawks that I've been practicing.
That's Todd Bridges.
I'm telling you, he's aged horribly.
What was the show, Raz?
Facts of Life?
Different Strokes.
Is it me or is that guy going to put a hole in an elephant?
That's some serious firepower there.
Okay?
Again, I can't let this slip by.
Pointing at black, angry black people who are angry because white people should.
Oh, my God.
We are eating each other alive.
Could you imagine five in the morning with a loudspeaker screaming outside of your house?
Yeah, exactly.
No, I couldn't.
Because I lived in the
woods in new york for the last 17 years did all i heard was bullfrogs in the morning in my pond
fucking a that's what they do remember they chased ted cruz and his wife out of a restaurant
this is what the left does and this is what you're gonna get if bernie the fucking communist
slash marxist gets. And then we will
have that civil war. As they said in the guard, we need a good cleaner. And every 10 years,
we need a good bloodletting. Get rid of the bad blood. I'd vote for him tomorrow, Mr. Lacey.
He ain't fucking around. He goes, you motherfuckers made me get up, put on a shirt and jeans
five in the morning. I don't have to be up. I've been retired for 10 years, motherfucker.
He should have shot one of them on the foot
like Christopher did at the bakery on the Sopranos.
Put one on the guy's foot and just go,
shit happens, you know?
The Antichrist.
You got me in a vendetta kind of mood.
And she goes out and apologizes.
She has to.
She's a politician. But that woman
that was out there with the
protesters, she was the communications director
for the woman that Mrs. Lacey's
running against. So
let's not pretend it's just a bunch of
you know, outsiders
doing this shit.
Let's get to some white news
and really dumb white people.
Parents allow 11-year-old to drive car because they were sick of him playing Grand Theft Auto.
This is in England, of course, which has lost total control of everything, this society in general.
Fucking 11 years old driving a car.
Grand Theft Auto. driving a car. Grand theft auto. The kid's sick of driving a fake car. Well, honey, what do you say we give him the keys to the Buick? That'll shake it out of him. Police in the Lancaster
town of Blackpool, where I have a three bedroom straw. It says strapped, not stopped, stropped. A red Vauxhall Astra car in the park in the town,
discovering the minor behind the wheel. The driver of this car was 11 years old.
The police tweeted, a family member was fed up with a child playing Grand Theft Auto. Yeah,
I just read that. They always do this in The Guardian, you dinkweeds.
So they brought him out to practice driving on a car park in Blackpool.
The adult has been reported for traffic offenses.
I don't know.
Son of a whore!
How is this going to make the kid not want to play video games?
I don't know.
I did have a friend pick me up in his dad's car when he was 13 at my house.
13 years old.
He took his old man's car.
I'm like, oh, Mr. Jones is here.
I go out and it's my buddy.
Fucking get in.
How fucking funny is that?
A recent survey showed, listen to this.
This is how you know England is going soft.
They're fucking losing their minds over there.
A recent survey showed that while 86% of parents say the kids play games an excessive amount,
three-quarters believe gaming has a positive impact on their children.
How is that more positive?
Shouldn't they be outside and shit?
Playing and stuff and getting kidnapped and thrown in vans like other kids?
Like in America.
No, shouldn't they be asking, Raz, you probably grew up like me.
If I can, we left the house at, you know, nine in the morning.
Wouldn't come home until seven.
Supposed to come home when the streetlights came on.
We'd fucking, you'd be out there for 12 hours in the woods.
I'd get poison ivy on my peepee.
Many times.
We had woods, we had fields.
I'm just throwing that in.
I guess I should have been home when the lights came on.
We'd go in the fields, we'd be playing, right?
Then you have to take a piss and you got poison ivy and you touch it.
What do you think, I was fucking the plants or us?
No.
Son of a whore!
I'm just saying,
now these kids sit in front of the,
all fucking day.
When they put that down,
they pick up a cell phone.
Am I sounding old here?
I don't give a shit.
I travel.
I see how parents parent their kids.
The minute they get loud or cranky,
they hand them a video.
Yeah, this is called rape.
Billy, play this game for me.
We land in Australia.
Anyways, the other questionable part of the situation is that GTAV has a rating of 18+.
So it's not the most suitable game for an 11-year-old kid.
But studies have shown that most parents don't pay attention to titles, age ratings,
as anyone who has played the multiplayer element of CO that whatever the fuck you're talking about,
you're making me sick to my stomach.
I've never played a video game,
by the way,
you need to shut the fuck up.
Um,
but I understand when parents,
I don't know how you do a pair.
I know I'm being hard on you,
but you know,
you're out in public and your kids start throwing a piss fit.
If I had something to hand them to shut them up, I'm going to hand it to them.
Here, watch these beheadings on YouTube.
I downloaded it on your phone, Kenny.
That ought to shut them up.
But I don't know how putting a kid in a real car is going to make them not want to.
You're going to buy him a real handgun next?
What's the violent one?
Halo?
I don't even know these games because I don't have kids.
Huh?
Come on, Raz.
You have a fucking Star Wars t-shirt.
Don't tell me you don't know what I'm talking about.
Yeah, that's all.
And I really don't prescribe to that it makes kids violent because, again,
and I've said this on the show many times,
I watch the Three Stooges from age four to about 44 twice a day, i've never poked anybody the eyes or grabbed my brother with a crowbar under the
nose or thrown a claw hammer at my mother not that you people know uh let's get to some more
fucking uh violence because that's what we do here this is why i can't believe people are still
voting democrat man released under sanctuary city rules sexually assaults three-year-old.
This is from ICE, by the way.
Okay.
An illegal immigrant was released.
Under Chicago sanctuary city policy only to sexually assault a three-year-old girl
and leave her sobbing for her dad in a McDonald's bathroom.
He looks like somebody I know.
Oh, my God.
Mexican national Christopher Puente, 34, was only in Chicago
because cops refused to hold him for U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement.
That would be ICE officials after he was arrested last year.
Did you hear that, folks?
The cops wouldn't hold him because they're not cooperating with ICE.
And this guy goes out and molests a three-year-old girl.
How many stories have we read like this in the last, I don't know, how many fucking years?
But you keep going to your sanctuary cities, you morons.
Yeah, but there's less crime in sanctuary.
No, there isn't.
Another big fucking lie.
You keep telling.
He was then arrested last month for allegedly assaulting three old after luring her to his bathroom stall while her dad helped her brother in the restaurant and the restaurant restroom.
This guy should have been deported already, okay?
You fucking people.
You have no idea how to defend a nation.
I don't like the parenting here either, though.
You leave your little girl alone while you're taking care of the...
Again, I don't mean to get too judgmental here, but no, you don't.
little girl alone?
Were you taking care of the... Again, I don't mean to get
too judgmental here,
but no, you don't.
The victim called out,
Daddy, Daddy,
Assistant State Attorney James Murphy
told the bond hearing last month.
Puente confessed telling cops
he was fucked up and thinking dirty.
But seemed stunned
when he was held without bail
for predatory criminal sexual assault.
He was stunned at that. I guess they have different standards in Mexico. but seemed stunned when he was held without bail for predatory criminal sexual assault.
He was stunned at that.
I guess they have different standards in Mexico.
I wonder if George Lopez will do a bit about this guy.
You don't understand, he says, this is my first time the hearing-impaired defendant signed a record. Oh, my first time, finger-fucking a three-year-old.
Oh, in that case.
Can you imagine the cops in Chicago not cooperating with ICE?
If that was your daughter, you wouldn't go nuts.
You wouldn't get a lawyer and sue the living shit out of her.
Don't get Jesse Smollett's lawyer.
Puente, who already had a long rap sheet, was deported in 2014,
but sneaked back over the Texas border just five days later.
Agents filed a formal request for him to be detained and ultimately deported in 2014, but sneaked back over the Texas border just five days later. Agents filed a formal request for him to be detained and ultimately deported
when he was arrested for theft last June.
But the agency says the detainer was not honored, leaving him free for his latest attack.
Chicago police defended their decision.
What? You did what?
They defended their decision not to cooperate with ICE
on immigration-related business.
The Chicago Police Department, this is in quotes,
remains committed to protecting all Chicago residents
except little girls.
You fucks.
All Chicago residents, regardless
of their immigration status,
except for you people who are actually Americans,
our pledge to restrict ICE access to our information systems
and our refusal to cooperate with ICE immigration enforcement measures
has not changed.
Why not?
Do you believe what I'm fucking reading?
You need to shut the fuck up.
Now, Mayor Lori Lightfoot, she's a black gay woman mayor.
Nick, why do you have to bring that up?
Because this is typical thinking by somebody that far left.
How do you know she's that far left?
Because she's a black gay woman.
That's how I know.
Nick, you can't judge.
Yeah, I just did.
You know what she said?
I should do their job better.
That was her quote.
You stupid fucking blabbermouth.
They're critical because we have said very clearly we are a welcoming city,
a sanctuary city, Lightfoot said.
We're a welcoming city.
Even after this, that's her response?
You've got to be shitting me.
She almost justifies all white races.
What the fuck?
After that, a young little girl gets assaulted sexually by a guy who should
have been, that's your fucking response? ICE isn't doing its job? You're not fit for office,
lady. This is the least racist, least sexist country on the planet. How about that? That's
how she got in there. Oh, my God. Nice going.
Blaming ICE.
They're trying to do their job.
Your police force, which you're ahead of, isn't cooperating, but it's on ICE.
Please explain that logic to me.
Please.
Jesus Christ.
Finally, tonight, I meet the press.
Excuse me.
Here's a little video in New York, and I'm going to give you my take on it.
It's a security guard.
I lived in New York City.
They put these bike lanes in right in the middle of Times Square, all over the place.
And these people on bikes, they've had a couple of deaths in New York City.
One guy on a bike doing like 40 hit a woman.
She ended up dying.
They weave in and out of traffic.
They don't always use bike lanes.
And this security guard stepped out of his car.
He was in the bike lane and hit a guy on his fucking bike.
They get into it.
I can tell by the, well, I can tell by the quote that the beef
that security guards have in the kids black
and, well, here's the video.
You say? I said you have to watch out
for me. No, you step on here.
Listen to me. I have the right of way
to go. You step out looking.
This is a bicycle. Diversity.
The melting pot. I don't ride the bicycle
on there. Listen to me.
What is that? What is that? What is that?
What is that?
No, no, no.
What is this?
What are your eyes?
What is this?
This is a car.
Yeah.
This is a street.
You have to watch out for me.
No, this is a bike lane, dickhead.
No.
Yes.
You are a dickhead.
You don't know the rules of the road.
You don't know the rules of the road.
No.
And look, you work for Harvard Protection, and you don't give a shit looking the way you're talking.
No.
You almost hit me.
This guy just walked over here looking at his phone.
And you don't know how to drive.
I'm on the bike lane.
I'm on the bike lane.
What are you talking about?
Yeah, a bike.
I'm with the old fucking fat white.
The bike lane is in the street still.
You know what I mean?
The street is made for fucking cars.
All right?
Of course, they don't show the guy in the bike, you know,
they don't show you the initial encounter, do they?
But as you're going to watch, he's arguing with a black guy
because it says in here, this black guy says,
white privileged motherfucker or something.
You see what the media has done?
Again, old white guy must be guilty.
Now what
you're going to see before we go on is another kid go by, black, all right, clips this guy's foot.
Why did he do it? In my opinion, he sees a white kid arguing with, I mean, a black guy,
young black guy, arguing with an old white guy, and he's going to fucking,
and so this guy's going to tackle him. Go ahead.
This is a street.
You have to give way to me.
It's a bike lane, stupid.
Yeah, I know it's a bike lane, but you have to give way to me.
I'm a pedestrian.
Pedestrian has to ride away.
So you don't have to watch where you're going?
No.
You're just stupid.
Yes.
You're stupid.
No, you're stupid.
Yeah.
You've got to knock you the fuck out. You're stupid. No, you're stupid. Yeah. You tried to knock you the f*** out.
You're stupid.
See, look.
I love it.
This f***ing good.
Get up, you stupid.
What are you, stupid?
What are you, stupid?
You're on a bike.
You f***ing run me over.
I got the whole thing on camera.
I got the whole thing on camera.
Don't f***ing hit me. That was the accent. The accent? My a**. He's carrying in the bike. You f***ing run me over. I got the whole thing on camera. I got the whole thing on camera. F***ing hit me. That was an accident. Accident my a**. Pause. Pause. That was no f***ing accident.
That was no. Did you hear before even the second kid came by somebody said hit him.
And then the guy he was arguing with initially goes I'll knock you out.
This is f***ing race. I think Colin Quinn said it best who grew up in Brooklyn
anytime there's a argument
or conflict between a black and white
it's always about race
I don't care if it's about a muffin and dunk
at least in New York City it is
and that fucking kid going by
the second kid clipped that guy on purpose
that's my take
Raz is probably going no fucking way
crazy I just been in New York
city enough to see it. And the guy says the original guy, he was fine. I love that he
tackled a kid on the bike. You see, he had a big gun too, by the way, hanging out.
After the scuffle, the man starts walking to his car, once again in the bike lane as more cyclists pedal around him.
The guy he's initially arguing with says, white privilege, motherfucker, bro.
You see what the media's done?
That has to do with white privilege.
It's obviously an accident either way, but it's white privilege.
And that kid going by, the second kid's a fucking punk.
He wanted to get involved.
That's my take on it.
You can agree or disagree.
That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
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I will say it.
You're very welcome.
We'll see you back here tomorrow.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
Bye-bye. guitar solo guitar solo.