The Nick DiPaolo Show - Devin Nunes Vs NBC Universal | Nick Di Paolo Show #1314

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

WHO Calls Monkeypox Racist. NBC Sued By Nunes. Possible Griner Deal With Russia. Another Man Dead by Woodchipper. Iran Soccer Team Could Face Arrests. Boy Eaten By Croc.

Ladies and gentlemen, please take a moment to share today's episode with someone who values free speech and enjoys brutally handsome hosts and comedy. I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire I'm on fire Me fuck you and your bone spurs.

Mr. DePaulo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. He's so goddamn funny. We watch the reruns at night. All right, how are you, folks? Welcome to the show. Hey, that Yellowstone is fucking pretty damn good. Goddamn funny. We watch the reruns at night. All right. How are you, folks? Welcome to the show. Hey, that Yellowstone is fucking pretty damn good. Getting into that. I know I'm a little late with it, but I'm busy. College football and fucking girls field hockey at Tulane.

I bet them last night had them a tit and a half. And real quick update. I know Boston sports Update, Boston Bruins win again. We beat Tampa Bay, who's one of the elite teams, twice in the last 10 days. I don't know what we are, 19-3, maybe 20-3? It's fucking insane. I don't believe what I'm watching. They've started, they set the record at 12-0 or 11-0

for a team, 11-0 at home for the first 11 games of the season. I think they set the record at 12-0 or 11-0 for a team, 11-0 at home for the first 11 games of the season. I think that's the record, or 12. And I think our 13th last night. So we're adding on in the history of the NHL. That's no fucking accident, folks. I know you don't give a shit. You're probably watching this from Oklahoma.

Who gives a fuck? Football country, bitch. All right. Don't get whiny. All right? We'll, bitch. All right. Don't get whiny. All right. We'll do it live. We'll do it live. Fuck it. Do it live. I'll write it and we'll do it live. Fucking thing sucks. I missed that chooch. All right, let's get right to it.

More monkey business from the World Health Organization. The World Health Organization, we call them WHO, is suggesting use of the term, I am ready to get off the planet Earth. I can't take this shit anymore. You know they're just trolling us at this point. Suggesting the use of the term M-pox rather than monkeypox. Citing racist and stigmatizing

language as the rationale for recommending the language shift. Can you fucking... It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy. What the fuck? So why don't we just get rid of the word monkey because you can't

use it in any context this has been you know i'm saying you can't use banana watermelon seriously there's certain words really monkey pox why because people making jokes on twitter about it or something honestly i guarantee you that's what it was. And 10 people get upset, and that's enough for somebody to cave at the World Health... That's how it works, folks. Are you fucking kidding me? I call it chimp fucking gorilla pox. I'd fucking lay it on heavy.

Straight chimp, gorilla pox. Doesn't mean anything to do with black people. Can you fucking imagine, Dallas, what the fuck you put your neck on the line to protect this country in freedom of speech? I ask why every day. Yeah, I don't blame you. It's because you've got a fucking brain.

Honest to God, the die has already been cast, okay? China, and this is the word in the back rooms everywhere. Like everybody knows they're going to be the global. And I go, I'm not, I don't even have the story today, but I'm watching Apple. I was watching Tucker Carlson, which is the first, the first 20 minutes is like the first 20 minutes of private, saving private Ryan. He has a story that nobody else is doing because obviously, and he drills so deep on it, and he's been in it so long

I don't mean to blow him, but he was talking about Apple and how they work in with the Chinese government Yet they got rid of all the you know the fucking thing on your phone This isn't even one of the stories, but you're welcome. You all get a bonus today. Oh, my God, I forgot my teeth again. Jesus Christ. How can I go to that dance tonight? That freshman mixer at Savannah High. Oh, yeah, we had a little. I'll get to that in a second.

Apple. You know the fucking, what do they call it, AirDrop on your phone? It doesn't involve the internet or anything. You can just drop, and I can drop it without involving any of that shit. They disabled that the last few days during the protests in China or Iran. I can't even remember. In China.

No, that's what made it more disturbing. So they couldn't, because that's a great way to assemble, people to get together as airdrop, you know. And they fucking disengage that. That's China. And meanwhile, they're trying to suffocate our speech over here. Yet working with the fucking Chinese government to suppress a goddamn protest about freedom of speech. Fucking Apple, Google, they're as evil as the fucking day is long. And I was going to go, you know what, I'm going to boycott. I'm going to get an Android.

That's Google. I've got to build my own. That's why I've got to get out of here. I'm picking up the parts at Jim's Auto down the street. I know what I'm doing. I made a ham radio in high school. Did you do that? Toilet paper roll and you wrap copper wire around it? Honest to God, it was fucking awesome. You picked up. I should have paid attention doing this shit. Anyways, let's move on. Following a series

of consultations with global experts, World Health Organization, who will begin using a new preferred term, MPOX, as a synonym for monkeypox. Again, let's just get rid of the word monkey. Both names will be used simultaneously for one year while monkeypox is phased out. It ain't going to go anywhere. Just like the Washington Redskins. They're having a good year, the fucking Redskins. The filthy Indians. The drunken fucking spare truckers. They're having a good year. The Cleveland Indians also.

But I guess the Braves are all right and Semitals. Don't you guys, don't you watch Yellowstone? You need more John Dutton in you. Anyways, so yeah, we're going to call it MPOX. I like how they decide we're going to phase it out, a word, like it's their, a product of theirs, which, you know. Again, this is global brainwashing. Anyway, that's what the World Health Organization noted in the press release.

When the outbreak of monkeypox expanded earlier this year, racist and stigmatizing language online. Oh, yeah. They're coming after us. Anybody who's got a joke or leans right. In other settings and in some communities. What communities are those? Do you have the balls to mention them?

No. Was observed and reported. Imagine somebody reported them to the World Health Organization. Like I said, 10 fat people 10 shut-ins And they had a problem with that Hey, where are the white women at? I don't know, they all got monkey pucks In several meetings

Public and private, a number of individuals And countries raised concerns No they didn't No they did not No they did not They did fucking not. Show us the transcripts or whatever, the text. Show us the millions and millions of complaints.

And ask the World Health Organization to propose a way forward to change it. No, they didn't. You know who did? The NAACP or a fucking irrelevant group like that. It's enough to make me to go to the headquarters of the World Health Organization and stand in the window, office window outside and do this. Take that,

World Health Organization. Got nothing to do with black people. I think don't we all know that we all come from fucking, what do you call it, apes? I know there's a better term than that, but I'm just saying. So anyways, World Health Organization will adopt the term MPOCs in its communications and encourages others to follow. Do you? Don't count me in.

Follow these recommendations to minimize any ongoing negative impact on the current name and from adoption of the new name. The release fucking noted. What we've got here is failure to communicate. Except in nations located in West and Central Africa, the illness has largely been impacting men who fuck each other in the ass over and over again. They didn't learn from AIDS,

curb your fucking monkey behavior, and it'll go away. Who said that? No, who didn't say that? That comes from me, Dr. DiPaolo. I got a fucking medical degree. You're goddamn right. DeVry had a program for guys who failed in welding. The WHO is the United Nations agency and the UN, do you see where it's all going folks? It's all global, has claimed that words can be

weapons, hate speech online can lead to cruelty and violence in real life. No, it can't, actually. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? I told you when I had a radio show in New York, CBS was the company, and the first day I had to read this thing out of the manual about how words hurt, and as I was reading

it, I fucking said, no, they don't. It's a big fucking lying shit. Got a little talking to after that. But you know what I want to do it on your first day, I guess. Explains why I get the can a few times. I'm happy. I get the hook in a few places. And if you look at anybody who's been in radio and shit,

Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh, anybody. Fucking get out of here. Anyways, except for Howard, the Jew connection. He can say Limbaugh, anybody. Fucking get out of here. Anyways, except for Howard, the Jew connection. He could say anything he wants, apparently. The numbers were so big. You got to give Howard credit. The numbers, he was so outrageous when he was in Philly or wherever the fuck he was. He brought these numbers.

Even NBC was like, holy shit. I don't care what he's saying. Look at the rates we're getting. Anyway, speaking of NBC, quite a segue. NBC universal, get it? Universal liars. You get what I'm saying? Hear ye, hear ye. The court's saying session. The court's saying session. Now here come the judge. Here come the judge. Federal judge ruled on Mondayay that devin nunes who's a real player this guy was great he and he fucking exposed shift for the lying cocksucker he is and all that other

shit an ally of former president donald trump and former california congressman can sue the judge said he can sue nbc universal for def. Devin Nunes filed a defamation lawsuit against NBCUniversal in 2021 over a comment made by MSNBC's anchor, seen here, our friend Rachel Maddow. Here's our friend Rachel Maddow about his alleged relationship with a Russian agent. As Breitbart noted in the report last year, Rachel Maddow claimed Nunes received a package from a Russian-connected Ukrainian under sanctions from the United States, a man named Andrei Dukhak,

and inaccurately claimed Nunes hid this from the FBI. Look at this guy. He's a bad guy out of a Bond movie. Look at this. That's what my wife calls rapey eyes. Oh my God. My dad taught me this. When you look at a guy and the first thing you notice is a mustache, that means it's a bad mustache. Right? And I said, Hitler, dad, you're going to tell me that was bad? He goes, yeah, it really stuck out. And I said, Hitler, Dad, you going to tell me that was bad? He goes, yeah, it really stuck out.

Specifically, Maddow, again, and now a strong safety with the Broncos, plainly stated, hey, is that Tillman? Jesus, it does. Specifically, Maddow plainly stated on her line show, he, Nunes, has refused to show the contents of the package to other members of the intelligence community. He has refused to hand it over to the FBI, which is what you should do if you get something from somebody who was sanctioned by the U.S. as a Russian agent that dirty pigs. He's a little whore and a little piece of trash. Whore?

These statements from Maddow are false, as previous reporting from Breitbart News, Politico, The Federalist, and other outlets make clear. Not only did Nunes proactively provide all of this to the federal law enforcement, his new lawsuit against Maddow reveals he disclosed it all in a letter to then-attorney General Bill Barr, otherwise known as a very sad and fat Elton John. Again, Maddow. Throw her a milk bone. However, refuses to withdraw her false,

again, like a typical lefty who can't fucking admit, she went to fucking Oxford, this dumb carpet muncher. And again, she looks like me in eighth grade. However, refuses to withdraw her false and inaccurate claims against Nunes. So Nunes is suing NBCUniversal, the parent company of MSNBC, they are the worst, NBC, for damages and a demand for a retraction and an apology. The lawsuit, the latest in a long line of them, Nunes filed against establishment media corporations.

I love it. Maybe, remember Nick Sandman got some bucks. They have pointed against him, was filed in federal court in Texas last week. But she won't admit it, you know? Why wouldn't NBC get her in the room and go, listen, you little bitch? You know what I'm saying?

Prove that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong. And she is a boy. Thank you. That's why I love that clip. And I got quenched on it. Hey. Oop. Look here.

The Chinese fella pulled me over. Head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, mini skirts, plastic caps, and fake tits. Unicdip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, mini skirts, plastic hips, and fake tits. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look good at the same time when you walk into that fucking Applebee's around the corner to pick up those divorcees with big clams. Oh, there's my ride. Good night, everybody. You can also get signed copies of my book, Eat, Shit, and Die. Copies. I've got to write a book.

I really do. Somebody's got to discipline me. I hear how fucking hard it is, but I get so much hate and fun in me. So you need a whip? Is that what you're saying? Well, yes, but that's after I work real hard on the book. That's how I release my... I'll have you do the forward on the book.

I'm going to bullwhip and no shirt on. I want to thank the publishers, and I want to thank my producer. Signed copies of my previous specials and all the NICA, that's N-I-C-K shirt. Just go to nickdip.com and click on the store button. Again, nickdip.com. Let's move on, shall we? I'm having fun actually doing this show now. It's better without the tooth.

I'm going to get another one pulled. Possible deal for Griner. After months of back, you know, Brittany, is that her name, Brittany? Or is it Stu? After months of back, you know, Brittany, is that her name, Brittany? Or is it Stu? After months of back and forth, the U.S. and Russia may reach an agreement. I don't know.

That's how this article starts, and it sounds like they're nowhere near an agreement, on a prisoner exchange that could land Brittany Griner on American soil in time for New Year's. Oh, let's keep our giant fingers crossed. Oh, the poor thing. Really never had a chance, did she? Her muff must look like Johnny Bench's catcher's mitt. She must go through a can of linseed oil. Oh, I just got lightheaded. I can't laugh like that

anymore i get really dizzy when asked by reporters whether a swap could happen before the year's end russia's deputy foreign minister sergiy rebikov said tuesday there's always a chance oh great answer true carry of fucking moscow regrettably there have been a few occasions when it seemed that a decision in favor of it was about to be made. This is him talking. But it never happened, Ryabakov said. Really? Why not? What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? John Kirby of the Biden administration said this. On her condition, I think you can understand for privacy reasons, I'm not going to get into much detail about her physical health.

I wouldn't do that. I can just tell you that we're taking that very seriously as well, knowing where she is. What up? He's not even a good bullshitter. Man, Biden, for a guy who wanted liars in his cabinet, you picked some of the worst. I can't really. They moved her.

I think it's going to explain it. Earlier this month, Grinham began serving a nine-year sentence for having a little fucking. Seriously, fuck you, Russia. And I don't even like this broad slash fella. But, you know, she badmouthed America. But now she's learned a lesson. A nine-year sentence for drug possession at a forced labor camp in Moldova after a Russian court rejected her appeal of her lengthy sentence, which U.S. officials have slammed as being unjust and politically motivated. Of course it is. It's Russia.

What do you think? I say let her. I'm going to use that as background. The 32-year-old basketball star was arrested at a Moscow airport in February when vape cartridges containing cannabis oil, which is banned in Russia, were found in her luggage. Karina testified during a trial that she inadvertently packed the cartridges for her trip to Russia. No, you didn't. Don't be a fucking liar. Where she was contracted to play basketball during the WNBA's offseason.

Another reason not to play in that league. The ratings are through the roof, I heard. Six lesbians in Idaho. In August, she was convicted of a cannabis possession and smuggling a penis. Why would she smuggle a penis? I don't know. She already got one. And smuggling and was sentenced to nine years

in the fucking slammerini. Is that what they do? They sew? Yeah, they have them doing all... So if you see there, they're actually sewing military uniforms. Right, but that's really not what's happening behind the scenes. They're blowing all the guards and being horse buggy whipped. What? Shut up. God.

Anyways, I'm going to move on, but there's no hurry. It's my show. I took one of those power naps last night when I got home from work. See, folks, I stay up till 3. I don't know fucking why, because I know I'm 60, and I have the rest of my life when I'm dead to sleep. It's starting to creep in, those thoughts. 20 years ain't shit, motherfucker. Anyways, I always stayed up high school fucking you know

But here's the difference my alarm goes off at fucking 845 because I got to do gut fell shit in this shit, so I Am NOT ready that thing goes off about four hours to fuck I am So then I and here's the bad cycle. I mean, I drank fucking nine cups of coffee. I'm immune to that now. I get high during the show from the caffeine. Right after this is over, as I'm driving home, I'm crashing.

And then I fucking lay on a bed, maybe look at a few stories for tomorrow, and fucking next thing I know, it's dark out. And I'm in a cycle. Now I'm wide awake at midnight. That's why my doctor said he's got fentanyl for me in Bufferin. Something like that. Here you go. Not feeling chipper.

We've done some. Didn't we do the kid falling in the vat? We also did a chipper story just a few months ago. That's right. And last week we did a story about a kid, ninth day at the job, falls in a vat of molten steel or whatever the fuck. This disintegrates.

That's got to sting a little bit. I'm watching fucking Yellowstone. They brand you if you work for Dutton. That's got to fucking... I've burnt my hand on the stove many times by accident, and it's sore for about a week and a half.

Can't imagine a brand... How about the Brothers Dallas, these black fraternities? That's what they do, right? That proves they're fucking tougher than... And then they scour it on purpose so it's raised.

My wife was telling me, how the fuck do you know that? She said, I fucking, you know, I dated Terrell Suggsville. I said, what? Anyways, one Kentucky man recently lost his life in one of the most horrifying ways imaginable by falling into a goddamn woodchipper. You know what's sick about this? I was reading how Saddam Hussein used to torture people and shit. He'd lower them into a giant fucking shredder or whatever, you know, industrial size,

or buckets of acid a little at a time. Fucking piece of cheese. Just before 5 p.m. on Monday, Joseph Joey Wesley Manier. I was expecting some hillbilly guy. Guy's in khakis. Looks like he just came from fucking Microsoft office. That's him, Joey Wesley Manier, 46, who was going about his business trimming trees

in the Stonegate neighborhood of Owensboro, Kentucky, just across the Ohio River from the Indiana border. That's where my wife slept with a Kentucky football player when we were single. I admit it was a retaliation on her part, but I don't give a fuck. I hate Kentucky now. For the past 25 years, the Owensboro family has offered an over-the-top Christmas display that has long been a local, again, see, Jesus gets people killed. What am I, a Jew would that take?

Been a local attraction for residents and visitors alike. They have a big Santa display, and people show up and sit on Santa's lap. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year? What? A big fat cock! Oh! In my ass! You'll get it, Susie.

Me and I are a contractor who lived about an hour south of Owensboro in Crofton and was working just across the street from that display when tragedy struck. He somehow became entangled in a lights display. I don't get it. Did he fall out of the tree? And usually you feed them this way. Sometimes I guess you got the kind that you could, God, has to be right, in a lights display. So he even looks silly going into the thing. He's got angel wings. Like a Chevy Chase moment. Yeah, exactly. This is right out of

a Christmas vacation. No, that's exactly right. Anyways, display at a residence fell partway. That's enough, I think. Into a nearby... I like how they put nearby woodchipper. Like a guy had one in his driveway in the wind.

What the fuck you mean? The freak accident caused Mania to sustain what officials have described as traumatic injury. Hey, thanks. I thought he had the wind knocked out of him. He's being a pussy. Here's Mania's arm and leg. Ow. Ow.

He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. You people who aren't watching the show, you're missing all the funny shit. That was from, you know what? Fargo. Fargo. And the guy's feeding the guy's body through the wood. Though emergency medical teams arrived quickly, they were unable to save Maynard.

He was pronounced dead at the scene. And that's just horrible. The Daily Mail reports that between 1982, this one blew my mind. 1982, let's see, add 18 to that. So 34 years. Between 82 and 2016, which is 34 years, 113 people have died in wood chippers.

That's fucking crazy. Somebody. I understand people slipping in the tub and shit. Just about a third of them, 41 people, somehow got caught in the machine. How about the other fucking 90? What, they owed Gambino's money? Or some shit like that.

41 people got caught in the machine as this guy did. That's some crazy shit. Uh-oh! Retard No, no, no. It's an accident. Stop with that shit. Hey guys, make plans to come and see me on the road. Crazy shit. Uh-oh. Retard. No, no, no. It was an accident. Stop with that shit. Hey, guys. Make plans to come and see me on the road.

I learned how to juggle and tap dance. This is going to be epic. Here's where I'll be. Tokyo, Japan, January 13th and 14th at the Ching Tang Center in Flingau. January 13th and 14th, Comedy Off-Broadway, Lexington, Kentucky. March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City in Mizzou. April 21, 22, The Funny Bones, St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri. Get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button at the top or click on the nude button at the bottom if you

want to see my Only Fans page. This may spread my ass cheeks holding a melon scoop. What? I used to do a joke. What was it? What was MySpace? Yeah. MySpace. I think it was MySpace. They said I only have like eight friends. It might have been Facebook. I don't know. I go, maybe it's because my profile picture is me standing in a hot tub by myself naked with an erection, holding a cantaloupe and a melon ball scoop. I am a hot ticket, am I not? Let's move on. If you want to play sports, don't do it in the Middle East.

There's a lot of pressure to win, and it's got nothing to do with capturing the dependent. Iran soccer team is in hot water and I mean, they're being threatened by the goddamn government. You get nothing. You lose. Iran's national soccer team made sure to sing the Islamic Republic's national anthem before a Tuesday match against the United States following threats from the regime. That's 12 guys in their 90s with long beards who should be shot in the fucking head tonight so we could get on with life over there.

To imprison and torture the players' families. Okay? So they're singing the national anthem. To imprison and torture the player's families. Okay? So they're singing the national anthem. I'll join in with them. But it's a religion of peace. What's that? But it's a religion of peace.

It is. A piece of PC arm gets broken. What is that? A giant gold dildo? The Diatola? What the fuck is that? Oh, it's a ball and a thing. I fucking, look, I know it's a sex toy.

My wife ordered online. It's actually filled with chocolate. The chocolate dong. Have you had it? Oh, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, let me tell you. Anyways, yeah, can you imagine? They thought Vince Lombardi was tough on his players. Imagine him threatening Paul Horning,

we're going to rape your wife and kill your kids if you don't have two touchdowns. That'll make you fucking pick up your game. The Iranian athletes have been in the international spotlight during the team's first game at the 2022 World Cup in Qatar or Qatar. The players stood silent as their country's national anthem played. That takes some balls. A gesture, and really it does, meant to signal support for protesters at home who have been organizing against the hardline regime.

On the field, the team lost to the great Satan, USA, won nothing in an exciting match. There was 98% of the play was in the neutral zone. I couldn't. I walked into B&D this past weekend, and it's packed in there. This is when I said it's over. I'm in Georgia on a Saturday. College football, anyone?

Every TV dude. It made me. I started in my throat. I'm in Georgia. And that's when I came and I said, hey, when did this turn into gay bar? To the fucking manager. I did. I had about 90 people look at me. They look like they're from Mexico. And I gotta give him credit. The manager's guy, Sean, big beer-drinking Pittsburgh Steelers fan. He runs the place. So I guy, Sean, big beer-drinking Pittsburgh Steel fan. He runs the place. So I go, Sean,

and I said it so everybody could hear, when does it turn into a gay bar? He goes, when you walked in. And he walks away. He thought I was picking on him. He got me. I guess the fuck. That's a Pittsburgh guy. Fucking guy fucking love him he thought i was busting his chops about being gay i'm guessing the guy fucking loves football anyways we beat

them one nothing and now more bad news awaits them when they get home oh god yep they're gonna have to make their own hummus according to to a report from the New York Post, the soccer team faces retribution in the Islamic Republic after coming up short in Tuesday's showdown against the United States. Mike Baker, he's always on Gutfeld's show, a former CIA covert operations officer, said the Iranian players are stuck in an untenable position after their much-hyped match against the United States, which defeated Iran 1-0 to advance to the knockout round of 16. They're not going to hit it. Given what we've seen from the Iranian regime, they've shown themselves to be brutal. This is Mike Baker, this former CIA guy.

And there's no reason to believe they're going to suddenly become rational. If the team would have defeated USA, things could have been so much different. The regime would have used them for their own purposes, Baker told the Post. They would have spent all the focus on the victory, defeating the great Satan, or whatever club of phrase they come up with. Prior to the win-or-go-home game, the Iranian government reportedly threatened players and their families if they made any demonstrations in the lead up to the kickoff. The players were told to behave and warned of potential imprisonment.

Oh, it's coming here soon, folks. Iran has been rocked by nationwide protests since Masha Amini's death in September. 22-year-old died, I know she looks in her late 60s, while in police custody after being arrested for improperly wearing a hijab, which violates the country's dress code for women, so they weren't putting up with her shit. What? Nothing for you. It's the only Iranian accent I could find. Following their loss to England, Iranian Captain Ehsan Khashoggi said the team supports the protesters. That takes some big stones, too.

We have to accept that the conditions in our country are not right. Holy God. Say goodbye to this guy, and our people are not happy. He's got to be thinking about defecting. Fellas, and I know you get family over there. That's what it comes down to, how much family you have that you love over there. Imagine you get a fucking wife over there who won't shut up.

Fucking value jet into Miami. Come off in an old Jew hat. I saw a feed, told reporters, and added that families of the victims should know that we are with them. We support them, and we will die soon when we get home. And we sympathize with them. Now that support could cost them dearly. I always pause at the wrong time. They put that sentence a mile from the end of the fucking,

like it's its own paragraph. I hate the fucking people who do journalism here. That would be me. All right, let me finish my tab. I mean my Sanka, my Folgers Crystals. Is this the last story? Oh, goodness, what a good pacing we had today. How'd you like my shirt, folks?

That's right, a lesbian collection. Crocodile Rock, we'll try rockin', my feet just standin' still. I never knew we'd be on time, and I guess we never will. An eight-year-old boy, Crocodile Rock, was attacked and mauled. I like to end it on a happy start.

To death. Eight-year-old boy mauled to death by a massive crocodile in front of his horrified family. Now, here's the difference. When I was eight and that happened to me, my family were like, finally, let's get the fuck out of here. And they would get in the fucking van

and go to McDonald's and celebrate because I was a dick. No. My father used to smack me. This is a Marine for you. A fight would break out. Let's say all four kids are downstairs. My sister started arguing.

My brother gets into it with one of my sisters, right? And they're screaming and crying. He would come down without asking and smack me. I'm not fucking kidding you. Look, he'd go, what happened? Bang. When do I turn out to be a prick? I guess there was a pattern leading up to that, why he assumed it was me.

Fucking pissed me off. Always the backhand, the ears would ring. Fucking marine to the bone, that motherfucker. Leave the lights on. I'd be fucking smacked. Again, in the 70s, folks, you don't understand. You don't even... I keep thinking Dallas is 10 years older than me.

I got beat, man. I was raised in Texas and Alabama. Oh, no, I know you were beat, but not for leaving the lights on in your bedroom. This was an energy crunch under Jimmy Carter. You weren't around for that. I've been getting smacked since 19... Anyways, he gets crunched and mauled by a giant...

in front of his horrified family while playing in a river near his home in Costa Rica. Can you imagine? You're a mom. You're like, Timmy, get over here. The young victim, Julio Otero Fernandez. Look at a little player.

Look at this handsome little kid. He was asking for it. Look how he's dressed. No, that's how my mother would have loved for me to dress as a kid. He was asking for it. Look how he's dressed. No, that's how my mother would have loved for me to dress as a kid. That kid's got like a nice white linen shirt on. That makes the story a double tragedy. What an unlucky little, the young victim, Julio Otero Fernandez, was decapitated by the reptile before being dragged to the, so the mother got to see the kid's head come off. Yeah, she'll be right the whole family saw it they they don't need counseling do they before being dragged into

the depths of the matina river don't ever go in there i water skied there once lost a friend in the city of limon on october 30th never to be seen alive again yeah we got that yeah we got that thank Yeah, we got that. Thank you for connecting the dots. I thought his head flew off and maybe somebody caught it and they put it back on and they went home. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend the nation.

Then on Saturday, nearly a month later, the child's gruesome death, right? This is a month later. An unidentified hunter reportedly shot and killed a crocodile in the area. When the locals cut open the beast's stomach we just did one on a python that swallowed an old lady um when your time's up man discovered uh they discovered in the crocodile's stomach strands of hair bone fragments and a beautiful

white linen shirt i would have killed for no uh and believed to be the kids. Bone fragments and fucking hair. Bon appetit. No. No bon appetit. But soon as I read this, and they're doing this, they're cutting the thing open. Where did my mind go to? The same place yours did. I'm guessing. The time or the place to perform some kind of a half-assed autopsy on a fish.

Fish. What kind of shark is it? It's a tiger shark. A what? That guy, I never knew. I said to, I've been saying to my wife for years, I go, is he supposed to be a gay? Then it dawned on me, because he bullied Hooper earlier. He's making fun of Hooper like he's a fag.

Oh, what? Is that how you took it like the first time you saw it? I didn't. I had no idea. And then I was, oh yeah, he already fucking yelled at me. Spielberg got a good sense of humor. Hey fellas, you know where I can get something good to eat? Yeah, walk straight ahead

when he's on the dock. That's Massachusetts, man. Julio was standing in knee-deep water in the river with two raw chickens strapped to his legs. You wonder why he got... When the large crocodile lunged at him. It shook him and ripped off his little head.

An eyewitness described the brawl. Then it grabbed him again and dragged him under. Oh, my God. No! No! No, Bobby. Julio's parents, Don Julio Otero and Margenia Fernandez

Flores, helplessly looked on as if someone was being savaged by the rough. You've got to be shitting me. It's one thing for the kid to go missing or whatever, but to see that? I remember when I was living in New York City, a lady was crossing the street with a stroller

and a cab was speeding or whatever. It hit the fucking... And in the article, I'll never forget this, the kid's head rolled across the street like about 10 feet against the curb, it said. I'm never there to see shit like it.

I'm very unlucky. Can you fucking imagine? The hardest thing for my wife was seeing the crocodile float away with my son's body. You think she doesn't have something worse than that in her life? It is unknown at this time who killed the crocodile over the weekend. They thought it was Steve, what's his name, Irwin. But he no good.

He died now. The hunter fled the scene after shooting the reptile, which is a crime in the Caribbean nation. Well, I think they're going to change that. Julio's mother confirmed the discovery of hair and bones inside the dead crocodile's carcass. The animal is dead, the mother said. For me, it's a great relief that they have killed it. I wish they would kill them all. Can't blame her.

So, again, the crocodile's just doing what he does, but whatever. There's plenty of them. Fuck him. So she said, so no family has to go through pain like this ever again that was the father talking about the crocodile the human remains were handed over to the local authorities for DNA testing you got kids man you know it never happened when you here I go again with my wrong way analogy. But how about having a rotten kid that you hate that's on drugs

and you just want to get rid of the kid. You want to put him up for a die or something. It never happens to those kids. There's always a handsome little kid, nice suit, doing the right thing, standing in the water. Just being a kid. Anyhow, that's it, I guess. Don't forget cameos.

If you want me to roast a friend or relative, it's that time of the year. It makes a great Christmas gift. Go to cameo.com and click on that, and it'll explain it to you. Thank you guys again for being here and supporting us. You think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here for the final

day of the week tomorrow. Take care, everybody. Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music