The Nick DiPaolo Show - Devon Archer Fingers Joe | Nick Di Paolo Show #1437

Episode Date: August 1, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about more Archer, a questionable NYT poll, and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com

🎵 Good morning, my neighbor! How are you, fella? I fucked you! Welcome to New York. Folks folks how are you on a tuesday great state of georgia august 1st august 1st me and uh dallas excited about that because that signifies this month college football kicks in 26 days it used to uh yeah you hear the? He's got a chart in his bedroom. He's been looking at it since it ended. Yeah, so it's funny because back in the day,

it would start, you know, September, maybe a week into September. Then it kept getting moved up and moved up like anything else. But I fucking love college football. Love NFL football. I hate football in Europe. They call it soccer.

It's for faggots. I'll say it seven more times. That's right. I think I got Gutfeld thinking that way because he shits on soccer every time it's in the monologue. And I don't remember him doing that before I started. He said it last night. He goes, we keep soccer.

We use soccer for little kids and lady types. Much more delicate than I'd put it. Yeah, anyway, so what the hell else? I don't know, socks, shit the bed again last night. stardom this time. Guy throws, what do you have, nine or ten strikeouts, gave up only a few hits. They couldn't score any friggin' runs for him. Guy's been unbelievable. He did something that hasn't been done since 1955 or 65. Dick Raddatz. He struck out 43 this month without only starting one game because he's been in the bullpen, but he's been lights out. He's been like fucking Nolan Ryan. I mean, as far as strikeouts and shit. And the Sox bats just went fucking limp. And these are all good teams. Mariners are good this year too. And they, so they've dropped three in a row on them. This is a big road trip. Anyways, you guys don't give a shit. What am I going to talk about? The Brewers? Who gives a fuck? The Cubs?

P.U. White Sox? Suck a dick. Angels? Oh, Shawnee? Oh, what's his name? Oh, Shawnee. Oh, Tani.

Had a home run robbed from him. Did he really? Yeah, well, that guy, I'm just saying, he's going to be an angel now for a long time. That means we get to never see him. Fucking Babe Ruth of our time. Get to see him twice a year. Great. Angels always

take like, they always get the, who gives a fuck about the angels? P.U. All right. I think I've killed enough time. Joe Blow is the headline. Former, not the beat a dead horse folks but this is

I keep doing these stories and updating you because it just shows you what a double standard and how the legal system is not blind justice is not blind it favors the scumbag Biden former Hunter Biden business partner Devin Archer

told the House Oversight Committee Monday about President Biden's role in his son's foreign dealings detailing about two dozen, that's 24 encounters as Republicans in Congress move closer to launching an impeachment inquiry which I

don't give a... What are we doing? You know what you're doing. What's going on right now? He's compromised. He's fucking compromised is what he is. This is insane. A source familiar with Archer's nearly four-hour closed-door interview said that Archer testified that Ukrainian natural gas company

Burisma Holdings added Hunter to its board in early 2014. We know this already. Just arrest the fuck. Because of the Biden brand. He actually used it, Biden brand, as his dad led U.S. policy towards Ukraine. Archer, this is when he was a vice president. Archer also stated that Burisma owner McCullough Zalewski, who allegedly told an FBI informant

he was coerced to pay $10 million in bribes to Hunter, and then-Vice President Joe Biden and company executive Vadim Posarsky in late 2015 put intense pressure on Hunter to enlist the United States government to help oust Ukrainian prosecutor General Viktor Shulkin, who had investigated Burisma for corruption.

And the fucking Democrats, by the way, I'll get to the part where he's been on the phone 20 times. And the Democrats yesterday, spinning it like they won. Again, there's no smoking gun there. What are you fucking talking about? The guy just said he witnessed it. After Biden told us he never spoke to his son ever about business. He said he witnessed the then second son, Zalewski, and Pozaharski, I'm saying it like I'm Spanish,

step away as they call the D.C. to discuss the issue, the source said, without specifying what, if anything, Archer said about the recently surfaced bribery allegation. Archer also said Hunter Biden put his father on speakerphone, get it, more than 20 times. And they're like, there's no smoking. There's no, think about, Donald Jr. put Trump or his dad on 20 times to talk to Russia. You think that might have made a, are you fucking sucking it, Republicans?

They have to be part of this. Impeachment? Fuck that. Put the cuffs on him. Let him die in jail. He's fucking 80 years old. Maybe somebody beat his head in with a monkey wrench.

Monkey wrench? What are you putting him in, Midas? 20 times during business meetings to promote the brand. He's on the phone, on the speakerphone. Hello? Yeah, hang up, you bitch. Including at a Paris dinner where they had snails mixed in sausages.

Good night, everybody. Reps from a French energy company. And while in China with Jonathan Lee of BHR Partners, a state, that's a state-backed, as in China, investment fund, co-founded by Hunter in 2013 after he introduced his father to Li in Beijing during an official trip. That's the one when they were on a marine, the plane, the official fucking plane that flies out of the White House, you know, Marine Chopper 2, Delta 7-Eleven. They only flew for what?

How far is China? About 24 hours. They never spoke about business. Suck a bag of fucking lesbian tits. Archer further confirmed that then-Vice President Biden attended an April 2015 dinner at Washington's Cafe Milano with Pozarsky and former Moscow First Lady Yelena Baturina. As previously reported by the Post, Archer appeared after the Justice Department and Archer's own lawyer, Matthew Schwartz, attempted to dismiss speculation that the federal prosecutors had tried to intimidate Archer ahead of his planned testimony. By the way, that was the mayor of Moscow, right, that you just showed? Yeah, it's the mayor of Moscow who sent a hundred

million, right? That's the mayor's wife, I mean. Yeah, look at her, real beauty. Fuck at him. They shoot those people in Russia, those broads. Putin's like, no good. Who brought, who bring me pig and hit it? With a Saturday request that a judge begin the process to, so anyways, remember I put it yesterday, supposedly over the weekend, I read in like nine different sources that they were, that the Justice Department was threatening Archer

because he's supposed to go to jail on something else and they wanted to throw him in the hooscow early so he wouldn't test. But apparently even his lawyer says that was bullshit, at least if I read that right. He has an opportunity to be a hero. Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer, Kentucky, said, hey, James, are you going to be another one who just,

you broke this wide open and shit? Anybody going to go, are you going to bring it to a conclusion? Or I did my job just to satisfy people like me on the right? But one of the panel's leading Democrats, Rep. Dan Goldman, oh boy, told reporters Monday that he wanted to figure out how this is connected at all to President Biden. It's a stoop. Are you fucking kidding me? It's a stoop. He looked right into the camera yesterday. I said camera. Biden. You're so stupid. Are you fucking kidding me? You're so fucking stupid.

He looked right into the camera yesterday. I said camera. And had a vodka and tonic. He looked into the camera and he goes, they talked about weather for the first few minutes. And then that was about it. They moved on. He literally looked into the camera so they talked about weather and some of these.

Fucking devil. Devil. You believe that shit? Anyways, so both teams, I mean, both sides, Republican and Democrat, were spitting it like, well, Republicans aren't spitting it. That's evidence.

The Dems are acting like, we won that one. He didn't really give up anything. And it doesn't matter if he did or not, because we know how it works. This guy is compromised. Nobody even talks about that part of it. Of course he treats China with kid gloves.

Got his tit in a ringer, as he used to say back in the early 1200s in Rome. 7 AD. I don't know. Grab a fucking date. Hey, guys. In the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about this very interesting. You know, Obama's chef was found floating face down in a pond near his house. Obama shows up yesterday outside.

He's been golfing with a black guy and some bandages. I don't know if he's a suspect. I haven't heard whatever. We'll be talking. That's very interesting. And I'll be talking about, we're all going to be speaking Chinese way sooner than you think

because some of the hacking that's been going on. And like I said, Biden's compromised. What's he going to call him on it? The fuck out of here. Anyways, it's exclusively on Mug Club. So join now to get it at what? NickDip.com. I couldn't make it at what? NickDip.com. I couldn't make it any easier.

NickDip.com. Hey, boys and girls, head over to NickDip.com to get exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look sexy at the same time. You can also get signed copies of my previous specials and all of the Nick-a-shirts. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. Again, that's nickdip.com

and click on store. Thank you guys so much. See you soon. You believe that? Obama has a black eye which is redundant, I understand. But he's half white, so it's kind of a half of a... I can't do the... What am I half of a... I can't do the... What am I, Bob Ross? I can't do the color...

Color commentary. The color commentary. Holy shit, Dallas. God damn it. You hear that? God damn it. I should have that right there. Color commentary.

Dude. I'm going to give you an A-plus on that one. That was beautiful. Laid it right in there nice. Let's stay on politics for a little bit. This is just light shit, though. Don crushing Ron. Things appear to be going from bad to worse for the Ron DeSantis presidential campaign.

If you want to believe the press, I'll tell you, I'll give you my take on this. You know I have a take on everything. And usually I'm pretty goddamn, for somebody they go, oh, dumb guinea. No, he's right on the fucking money. One out of eight times. DeSantis' presidential campaign, it couldn't go any worse, at least according to a brand new New York Times.

Right away, that's where my radar goes up. New York Times, a Siena poll showing former President Donald Trump extending his lead to 37 points over the Florida governor. If the race were head-to-head, the poll reveals Trump besting DeSantis by a two-to-one margin. Two-to-one. Good Lord. The poll shows that some of Mr. DeSantis' central campaign arguments, that he is more electable than Mr. Trump and that he would govern more effectively,

have so far failed to break through like that. That's what the polls are saying. Even Republicans motivated by the type of issues that have fueled Mr. DeSantis' rise, such as fighting radical woke ideology, favored the former president, meaning Trump. And here's where I'm going. Again, I'll wait to the end to tell you. Is that really true? I don't think anything.

I don't think there's an American on the right, right, Santa, whatever, who would argue with killing wokeism. So I'm very skeptical about these. As somebody once said about polls, they don't reflect what people think, and they shape what people are going to think. Overall, Mr. Trump led Mr. DeSantis 54% to 17%. That's a blowout, whether it's the Peach Bowl or no other candidate top 3% support in the poll. Below those lopsided top line figures were other ominous signs for Mr. DeSantis. He performed his weakest among some of the Republican Party's biggest and most influential constituencies.

I remember he was getting all the big donors a couple months ago, right? Trump had packed houses, but he didn't even show up to the CPAC thing. He was meeting with a bunch of rich. He earned only 9% support among voters at least 65 years old and 13% of those without a college degree. I can see that. I can see the real blue collar guys to drive trucks going, fuck him. I don't want to, you know. Trump's the Republican

who described themselves as very conservative, favored Mr. Trump by a 50-point margin, 65% to 15%. I am your voice. Apparently. I think those real

conservatives look at, I don't know, you look at DeSantis who, you know, the word globalism, globalist pops up here and there, but you're like, whatever. I can't believe he's getting crushed like this. Folks,

I think they're more scared of DeSantis because you keep hearing, you you keep if you put on TV and read papers, they go, Trump is unelectable. He's unelectable. Biden beat him again. But why are they saying, you know, like they're more afraid of DeSantis, I think, with these polls now coming out. You know, I think they are. I think they're more afraid of DeSantis, I think, with these polls now coming out. You know, I think they are. I think they're more afraid of DeSantis. I just can't believe what he's done with the state of Florida. I mean, he's done everything right for the last, I don't know, five years or so.

Right? Former military guy, really smart. Also recently saw that he's, you know, pledging on putting a ban on lockdowns. Putting a ban on lockdowns? For what? In case there's another COVID? Yeah, stuff like that. COVID or whatever lockdown would come up. Yeah, he's made all the fucking right moves.

Especially, and beating the, kicking the shit out of Disney. And fucking, and woke ideology comes to die. I mean, he's not just yapping it, he puts it into legislation. They think he's a homophobe because he refuses to put up with teachers, you know, talking to your kids behind your back.

He's made all the right, don't tell me he's getting beat that bad. They're hiding something in those numbers. That's my take. All of this is horseshit anyways, but I got to make a fucking limit. Other top candidates listed, oh listed this made me laugh include former VP Mike Pence He's kicking ass at 3%

with that lightning personality Again he must be doing this. I don't know to sell books a senator Tim Scott. He's got the teeth of mr. Red He's at 3% That's three more that he should be getting must be doing this, I don't know, to sell books. Senator Tim Scott, who's got the teeth of Mr. Ed, he's at 3%. That's three more than he should be getting. Governor Nikki Haley, what are you fucking 3%? I'd vote for a Democrat before her. She's a slippery fuck. And my boy, Vivek Ramaswamy,

and former New Jersey governor Chris Christie, each coming in at 2%, which is an insult to Mr. Ramaswamy. But Mr. Ramaswamy and other polls is doing quite well. And I sent him $25. I've only sent money, I think, to two politicians. Maybe I sent some to Trump. But I know I sent some to Rudy Giuliani. I did. Giuliani and Ramaswamy, who I'm going to make a prediction. I think he's going to make the debates, they said.

I'm going to make a prediction. In those debates, he will shine. Not saying he's going to win, but his numbers are going to shoot through the roof well he's playing long game get on a cabinet and then play the long game and run again why did you talk to him because i talked to him he says yeah we go way back he said that's right you guys had a condo in saint bart's listen to me the guy is brilliant he he's he Trump without the, I don't know. Look, I'm fine with either one. I feel I owe it to Trump because he got fucked out of a win. I don't care what

anybody says. He got fucked out of being president for another four years. So I think we owe it to him. CNN yesterday said he could win again. That makes my radar go up even further. Why are they pushing him? I think they're scared of DeSantis. And Ramaswamy is going to be in the cabinet, in somebody's cabinet. He's too bright not to. You guys haven't heard much, but I think there's, aren't there debates coming up? Yeah, at the end of this month.

Should I watch out of nebraska northwest anyways the poll also showed nick dipalo was up in 11 nobody uh the poll also found that in a hypothetical one-on-one race against mr trump desantis would still lose by a 2-1 margin, 62-31. Trump's just bitch-slapping him. What's the idea? Get upstairs. Get upstairs. Don't you find that, Dallas, a little fishy? Ah, don't you find that Dallas a little fishy?

I mean, DeSantis, I mean, he's done it. He hasn't just talked the talk. You can look a floor. There's a reason people are leaving in droves, from blue cities, by the way, to move to a red state. Miami has almost zero crime. He's fucking bitch slapped Disney. Nobody's had the balls to stand. I mean, they're in his state, so he had to. But I'm just saying. And now you're telling me he's getting

swamped like that? I don't know. I just, something smells. Like I said, if you believe in those polls, whatever, believe in them. We all got to play the game. Anyways, let's move on to good vibrations. What in Christ is that, Nick? Before I do that, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of my show. Everyone else, go to nickdip.com and join to get my full show. Not only my full show, the great Steven Crowder's full show and a whole lot more. You'll be glad you did. It's the best money lovers. And I'm not kidding. guitar solo I'm out.