The Nick DiPaolo Show - Fauci in Dog House | Nick Di Paolo Show #615

Episode Date: October 25, 2021

Obama says GOP preventing citizens from voting. #arrestfauci trends on Twitter for dog testing. Protesters support Kyrie at Barclays Center. DeBlasio's cancelation of Trump costs $30M. Man uses business loan for $57K Pokemon card. Rare STD in UK.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House, now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning, honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. You know how most people listen to ocean waves, a recording, crashing at night gently on the shore, a white noise to fall asleep? This is what I like to listen to, to fall asleep.

You fucking start running into me, then you start filming. You were carrying on. You were carrying on. You fuck. You put your hand under my face and my car. Fuck you. Get out the car and throw some punches. Come on, cut.

I'm 50-year-old me. Come on. And I'll knock the fuck out of you! Alright. Knock the living fucking Christ out of you! Yeah. You fat cut! Get out of the fucking gym!

Touch me again, that's assault. Come on, mate! Come on, motherfucker! Get out the car! Do you need to relax? Ah! They told me to relax when you need to fucking start! You fat cut! Alright.

You fucking dog! Fat cut! Fucking fat cat! You fat dog! Fat cunt! Fucking fat cat! Yeah. Yeah. Good afternoon, I'm alone I don't have it printed out or anything, but the weirdest stories come out of India. You ever notice? This kid, I don't know how old he was, 12, 13. He had a habit of eating dirt, which is, I guess, a condition. And I can't help it. To stop eating dirt, he ate 16 toothbrushes and a three-inch metal nail.

They showed him in the hospital. Fucking Indians. They show him laying there with tubes in him and all kinds of shit. They had the operator take it out. But they leave a jar of the shit they pulled out of his stomach next to him. What is it? That's kind of mean, isn't it? You know, when you go in for a cancer, they remove a tumor from your ass and they put it in a

Hellman's jar right in front of you to remind you to eat healthy. What was that about? 16? Why 16? And why toothbrushes? What the? And apparently that's a condition. There's a name for it. Something, I don't know, but kids want to eat, not just kids, adults. They get an urge to eat things that are inedible, like human hair or plastic. Is there really a God? And boy, he's a funny motherfucker. You know, wait till this kid gets older and finds out about girls. Oh, my God. I don't know what to say.

Anyways, this goes out to all you Ivy Leaguers who told us, you know, how good Biden was. Prove that you wealthy college boys don't have the education enough to admit when you're wrong. That would be anybody who votes Democrat. I fucking hate y'all just as much as you hate me. And don't worry about it because I don't look at shit on Twitter. I'm not allowed by my manager because I lose my fucking mind. Okay?

So, you can shit on me all you want. I'm just going to keep feeding you. I'm going to trigger you. Trigger you like a prop gun on a fucking movie set. We're not even talking about that today? How the fuck did Tommy miss that one?

Jesus, Tom. what are you doing? Anyhow, I might as well bring it up right now before I get to the, right? Let me do the N-word first. Let's get to the N-word. In the N-word segment today, I think I owe Joe Biden an apology. Can someone not find me a translator that speaks retarded so Joe will understand the apology? You and I keep screaming about how Joe's screwing everything up,

but then I realized this week, and it's not because it's his first term as president. It's really because it's Obama's third term. Excuse me. You've got to remember all this garbage like critical race theory and labeling white people who supported Trump domestic terrorists. That all comes indirectly from a reading from the Holy Gospel according to Barack.

He was our first Marxist in chief. This weekend he was in Virginia campaigning for political partisan hack Terry McAuliffe. You know the guy who said when asked about critical race theory being taught in school, he said, I don't think parents should be telling schools what to teach. Yeah, Obama is endorsing a guy that says shit like that. When it was Obama's time to speak, he went after McAuliffe's opposition, Glenn Youngkin. Youngkin, who made his fortune by having 2% stake in Carlyle, a global private equity firm. Obama said, I like how when rich guys are running for office here,

they want you to believe he's just an average guy. Yeah, because your buddy Biden, who has five houses and has made I don't know how many millions with China and pretty well to do himself, he's never bragged about his working class roots growing up in Scranton, a place he left as soon as he could rub two nickels together, a place where, when he visited last week, was greeted warmly, like an old friend, with the chant of, fuck you, Joe Biden. That's how blue-collar and average he, you know, he takes

Amtrak. It's funny when Biden presents himself as an average Joe, because he's not even average. Well, anyway, I think they should also be chanting, fuck Obama, too. Obama said that McAuliffe's rally, he said that Youngkin supporters pledged allegiance to the flag that was flown at the January 6th insurrection. Can you imagine them falling back on this old tribe, calling them, meaning Whitey, the biggest threat to our democracy when we all know it was his presence in the White House that was the biggest threat, and him being the Wizard of Oz behind the curtain and Joe his Dorothy. Obama wouldn't know democracy if it bit him on his skinny biracial mom-jean wearing ass. Can you imagine a president who weaponized the Department of Justice on the way out the

door so it could spy on the incoming administration, calling people who support Trump a threat to our democracy? Or a president who sent $150 million in cash to the world's largest state sponsors of terrorism? Yeah, it's people who supported Trump and will vote for Youngkin. That's the threat to democracy. Where does he get his balls? That's right, I forgot. He doesn't have any. Michelle keeps him

in a pickle jar under the bed. Anyhow, again, President Biden, I want to apologize for blaming shit on you that you couldn't possibly be smart enough ever to think of on your own. From here on in, it's fuck Barack Biden. And that is the N-word. Hopefully that'll catch on. Let's stay on a kind of related story. Because Obama also said this this weekend. Well, again, campaigning for Terry McAuliffe, who's just a, he was a Clinton crony fucking hack. And remember, his wife was running for something in Virginia and it's just just dirty money involved.

So Obama this weekend had more to say in the related opening. President Barack Obama slammed Republicans as systematically trying to prevent Americans from voting. as systematically trying to prevent Americans from voting, and he didn't have the balls to say African Americans, from voting in a campaign speech for Virginia Democrat gubernatorial candidate Terry McAuliffe. Who said that? Barack said that! Barack the Maxist! Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here

who just signed his own death warrant? All across the county, Democrats are trying to make it easier to vote, not make it harder to vote, and push back on Republicans who are trying to systematically prevent ordinary citizens from making their voices heard. Obama said Saturday in Richmond. You have to ask yourself, why is it Republicans don't want you to vote? He asked. That's a sick question. You're a ask yourself, why is it Republicans don't want you to vote? He asked.

That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it. Obama's office did not immediately respond to Fox News requests for comment on examples of Republicans preventing citizens from voting. So, of course, nobody got back to him as usual. from voting. So, of course, nobody get back to him as usual. McAuliffe and his Republican candidate, McAuliffe and Republican candidate Glenn Youngkin are in a dead even fight for the governorship just more than a week before election day. Both received 46% among likely voters. Can you fucking imagine watching what Biden did in the first eight, ten months and still voting Democrat?

Are you fucking people nuts? Both received, I don't even believe these numbers, received 46% among likely voters. According to the latest Monmouth University survey, Young King's campaign fired back at Obama's claims that Republicans work to prevent people from voting, calling those false statements in a comment to Fox News on Sunday morning. Glenn has addressed this multiple times before Obama came to Virginia to bail Terry out. But instead of writing a story about the former president's false statements, the press is indulging Terry's fantasies and lies because he can't run on his

failed record and radical vision for the future, Youngkin spokesperson Christian Martinez told the Fox News. Good news. You've got Youngkin, a white millionaire, working with a kid named Martinez. It's coming together slowly, folks. It's unclear what policies Obama was referring to. Maybe the, maybe, was he referring to the, they actually made more hours to vote? Actually, what's he talking about? Oh, we know, referring to his comment, but Democrats have attacked George's voting law. In recent months, President Biden claimed in March, for example, that the law ends voting hours early, which is the exact opposite. Big, fat fucking lie, because you're evil. The statement earned him four

Pinocchios, not from the New York, I can't even think of a conservative public, not from Fox News, not from the, I don't know, the Federalist, whatever. The statement earned him four Pinocchios from, four Pinocchios, from the Washington

Post. That right leaning paper for spreading the misinformation and the outlet explained not a single expert we consulted who has studied the law understood why Biden made this claim, as this was the section of the law that expanded early voting for many Georgians. And you dumb fucks out there still going, I'm still going to vote Biden. I'm going to go for Terry McAuliffe. This guy here, don't ever be fooled by his smile. This guy's got away with more because, as Joe Biden said in a racist rant,

he's articulate, clean. He's got a nice smile. He's clean. He's as dirty as they come politically. McAuliffe, chairman of Hillary Clinton's failed 2008 presidential campaign and the former governor of Virginia. Yeah, let's get him. He failed Hillary.

Let's put him in charge. Has received endorsements from various high-profile douchebags, I mean Democrats, in the tight race. Vice President Kamala Harris. Boy, you want her to endorse you, huh? Because her approval ratings are what? A little above a snail's first. Then lady Jill Biden, first lady Jill Biden, and failed Georgia gubernatorial candidate Stacey Abrams. Jesus, just tie an anchor around your neck, McAuliffe. Holy Christ. John Hinckley weigh in? Anyways, yeah, Stacey Abrams stumped from a call-up while President Biden is slated

to campaign with the candidate on Tuesday in Arlington. Can you imagine him endorsing you? Oh, my aching stomach. Who gives a fuck what you think? Let's go, brother. Let's go, brother. I don't like that because fuck Joe Biden is way more appropriate. But I guess it's a nice way of getting around when you can't curse. I wonder if that NBC reporter, that poor woman, knew what she was setting up. Anyway, let's move on to some more idiocy. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Here is the Dems, one of their favorite people on the planet, the highest paid civil servant.

He's got a government job, right? He's the highest paid, I believe. Hashtag Arrest Fauci trends on Twitter as doctor. I'm not a real doctor in life but i uh play when a press conference is as doctor faces criticism for controversial virus research testing on dogs dogs that's right that was twittering arrest fauci uh that was twitter was trending on twitter i wish twitter would just go the fuck with sunday afternoon in response to multiple controversy surrounding Dr. Anthony Fauci, Twitter users posted the hashtag calling out Fauci over reports that hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars

were used to subject dogs to cruel testing before ultimately killing them. Can you imagine that? Fauci? I used my neighbor's dog to record that. I had a Bic lighter right on his ball sack. What? That's kinda... Not as mean as what they did to these dogs. They don't even tell you in this article. I mean, I'll tell you at the end what they actually did to the dog. Additionally, Fauci has been criticized after an NIH official, that's National Institute of Health, appeared to confirm that taxpayers funded gain of function research.

Taxpayers funded that. Remember he denied it? The coronavirus at a lab in Wuhan, China. Despite Fauci's repeated claims, that was not the case, he said. Liar, liar, pants on fire. In July, Republican Senator Rand Paul called for the execution of, no, here he is just apparently rolled out of bed, called for the Department of Justice to issue a criminal referral against Fauci for lying to Congress about gain-of-function research funded by the NIH. I'm sure that'll fall on deaf ears because he's a high-profile lefty or whatever the fuck,

and they don't go to jail. Only you and I do. I will be sending, Paul said, a letter to Department of Justice asking for a criminal referral because he has lied. Fuck that. Go over to his house and arrest him. Whoever does that. Because he has lied to Congress. We have scientists that were lined up by the dozens to say that the research he was funding was gain of function.

Okay? The Kentucky Republican told Fox. function. Okay? The Kentucky Republican told Fox. He's doing this because he has a self-interest to cover his tracks and to cover his connection to Wuhan lab, Paul continued. Who can argue with that, by the way? Fauci's NIH told Fox News this week that Fauci has been entirely truthful. What else are you going to say? I love this picture of him. If you block off his hair and just go like this, he looks just like Hyman Roth when he gets... Somebody put a bullet through his eye.

I didn't ask who. Chinese are always headstrong, talking up. There's not a chicken dish, a rice dish. Fauci has been entirely truthful during his testimony on gain of function. Yes, he has, isn't he? I'm just an Italian living on a pension. I woke up Michael in the suitcase over there. Oh, yeah, I want to tell you what they did to the dogs. Because obviously this article was, again, left-leaning.

Who would have guessed? They put puppies' faces through like a, you know, a cage hole. So their heads were stuck. And they unleashed like thousands of types of like sand flies that carry types of shit. And let the dog's faces literally be eaten. That's all. You're a disgrace to the Italian

people. If you're Italian at all. I think your real name is fucking Schicklgruber. Schnattenhausen! Brausen, you braus! Ich sprach in sie Deutsch. I noticed there were no German shepherds involved in that.

Anyways, it's all poo-poo. I wonder what he's making. Can we find out what these guys are making since COVID hit the... Still not making much as this guy is losing. Very interesting over the weekend. Stand with Kyrie.

That'll be Kyrie Irving. Mob of, it says, the headline says anti-vaxxers. See how they, anti-vaxxers stormed Barclays Center. They're not anti-vaccine, they're anti-forcing you to get a vaccination. But this is what the left does. And unfortunately, this country has so many dumb fucks that they fall for this type of... They're very slick in there. Anti-vaxxers from storming the Barclays Center.

A mob of anti-vaxxers stormed Brooklyn's Barclays Center Sunday as violence erupted at a rally to support nets hoopster kairi irving who we already had a clip of him just wants to do what he wants to do because it's his body his body sounds like one of the more logical pro athletes on the planet uh who is refusing to receive a covet 19 vaccine and uh good for him yeah that makes some anti-vax hundreds gathered i swear to god folks i'm making a i've been saying this for a while it's going to take a while but this this this vaccine mandate is going to bring black and white people together oh you're fucking up big time biden hundreds of gathered outside the team's home arena to support uh irving chanting irving so irving did? Yeah, Kyrie Irving, hell of a ball player, chanting

vaccine mandate, no vaccine mandate and stand with Kyrie before a breakaway group stormed the barricades while Twitter video shows a broken, here we go, this is a breakaway group? No vaccine mandate! Oh yeah, look how

rowdy. No vaccine mandate! No vaccine mandate! No vaccine mandate! Oh yeah, look how rowdy. Look at black and white people, Indians, Eskimos, Puerto Ricans with one arm, Dominicans with a glass eye, people from Russia, Pakistan, India, all saying, fuck you, I don't want to take no medicine. The footage shows security personnel trying in vain to hold back the crowd, but being quickly overwhelmed as a handful of protesters broke through and make for the front doors. Sort of like one of my shows.

The mob shouted about Nazi passports and let Kyrie play, they said. And they wave signs and don't tread on me flags as they gather outside the arena. Now, here's how cynical I am. I'm going, are those really people who are against the Vax or are those lefties with signs like, don't tread on me, to give you the impression it's Trump supporters, because that's very popular. I'm going to get that tattoo right on my neck, because that's where my wife steps on it. I didn't see any rowdiness.

We couldn't find the footage on Twitter? Fucking, they probably took it down. A number of protesters are seen wearing Black Lives Matter t-shirts. The unrest comes as again, see BLM right next to Whitey. Oh my God, we can't have that. The unrest comes as the Nets play the

Charlotte Hornets on Sunday. I could give a fuck. They could be playing in my kitchen. I'd ask them to leave. It's the most boring sport on the planet as far as spectator sport. Great sport to play. It's fun. It's a great sport. Not questioning any of that. Just to watch you people again, you've got to be

a little dumb. You like a whistle every fucking three. I've said this piece a thousand. I'm going to keep saying it until the fucking ratings are lower than they already are. As you remember, they set a record low last year during the final. Anyways, you like a whistle every three minutes anyways uh so anyways they played the hornets and uh irving uh couldn't suit up

he's an all-star point guy by the way he's been barred from practicing with the team or playing home games for defying the team's requirement that all players be vaccinated against the global pandemic. Don't you people out there question why there's such a push? Unbelievable. The NBA does not mandate the vaccines, but guess what? New York City does because there's a real asshole who's been running it. And players in local sports venues are required to be inoculated to play. Footage posted on Twitter shows hundreds of protesters descending on the Brooklyn Arena early in the day. I have to stand up for me, said one marcher, a city school teacher, told PIX-TV. I have to stand up for me, said one marcher, a city school teacher,

told PIX TV. I have to stand up for my son. What's he, lazy? Tell him to stand up for himself. What the fuck kind of coddle kid is that? But you do have to stand up for yourself. But there's a, half the country likes to get porked in the ass and be told what to do by the government. It is so goddamn sad, it goes against everything this country stands for. It's as simple as that. You're not American. You don't like how this country was founded, so I say get the fuck out. I know

that's an old saying, love it or leave it, but boy, I can't think of a better one. Love it or, I don't know, go to Switzerland or something. That's not very catchy. Let's stay on New York City.

I don't know if it's me. de Blasio seems like he's been in office since 1871. Excuse me. Maybe it's because I'm an alt-righty and he's such a Marxist cocksucker that de Blasio's bid to rid New York City of Trump's name could cost taxpayers $30 million. There he is, seen there. New York City's attempt to divorce itself from Donald Trump have turned into a comedy of errors, one that could end up sticking taxpayers with a not-so-funny $30 million bill. That's right, a $30 million bill. That's how psycho they are about Trump. I despise it with every fiber of my being.

After the January 6th Capitol riots, Mayor de Blasio, like most people in denial and delusioned and just fucking cuckoo, vowed to rid the city of Trump, aiming to become a hero to the progressives. A little late for that, even they hate you. On January 13th, the mayor said he would yank the Trump organization's longtime concession. Notice the date, the week after that. Probably not an emotional decision, was it? Long-time concession contracts to operate the historic Central Park Carousel. Oh, no. Great place to be raped on a fake horse.

Wollman and Lasker skating rinks in the park and the Trump Ferry Point golf course in the Bronx. Here's a quote from shithead de Blasio. This president has committed an unlawful act, said the guy who mandates passports to get into a restaurant. He has disgraced himself. He will no longer profit from his relationship with New York City, de Blasio Tova. Imagine Trump built half the fucking city. How dare you, you pencil neck. The city then moved to strip the Central Park contracts from Trump,

even though they would have expired that spring anyway. That's how much he hates him, throwing all reasoning aside and just a real fucking schmuck. The campaign went south right from the start. The effort to boot Trump would have shuttered the two skating rinks six weeks early, creating an outcry from skaters about the premature end to the season. City Hall then reversed course and allowed the contract to run out instead. The city picked new rink operators, a joint venture among Newark, New Jersey-based Harrods Blitzer Sports and Entertainment, which owns the New Jersey Devils NHL team,

and they would work with developers-related companies in Equinox in July. They promptly raised the rates, of course. A family of four now pays $109 to enter, rent skates, possibly be mugged, have a pigeon shit on them, and secure a locker, rather than the $95 that Trump charged. Fuck you and fuck you! Who's next? That's right. That's how they treat people. Meanwhile, with no one to run the carousel, why don't they get, you know who? Bobby Bacalar from the Sopranos.

He ran the carousel when they had that Italian festival. No, he didn't run it. He threatened the guy. You guys probably don't know what I'm talking about. But a ride broke. It wasn't a carousel. But anyways, I'm lying to my team. Back to the show. Anyways, they had no one to run the carousel. What the fuck's de Blasio doing other than smoking weed? That would be fun for him.

Look at a kid falling off the horse. The ride remained at his standstill for all the whole summer 2021. Imagine, this is progressivism, with the city only tapping Central Amusement International, the company that operates Coney Island's Luna Park, to run it for five years in late July. The attraction finally reopened on October 16th. Looming much larger than skating fees or lost merry-go-rounds is the state court battle over the debacle created by trying to evict Trump from the Bronx golf course, of course. I just love the fact that Trump owns golf course,

because I just picture Rodney Dangerfield and Caddyshack, just him walking in. What did de Blasio shoot today? 66. Really? How about a fresca, daddy? Mr. Scholarship winner. The Trump organization claims in its lawsuit opposing the termination that it is entitled to more than $30 million in reimbursement if ejected. And de Blasio is so focused on anti-Trump vengeance that the city might pay it, despite Comptroller Scott Stringer crying foul and requesting a pause in the rush

process. What did I tell you about emotional knee-jerk reaction to Trump? Fuck it, it's 30 minutes. I don't care. That's how we treat you, the taxpayers in New York. I'm just learning of this, and I have to look at that and find out exactly what this is about. Eric Adams, the mayoral race frontrunner, told the Post regarding the city possibly being on the hook for tens of millions of dollars. This guy was a top cop. He's a real law and order guy, but don't let him fool you. Other than that, he's pretty goddamn liberal. But the one thing I do like about Eric Adams, they asked

him, like while he was running, something about, are you going to have security around? He goes, I can't have my own gun. That's what he said. I bet you he got a bunch of votes right there. I don't know. Yes, I'm not even talking about Alec Baldwin. I guess we'll maybe do that tomorrow, whatever.

I know that was the big story over the weekend, and he got tons to say about it, but, you know, all you got to know is he's a real gun control fella, and somebody on the set knew something about other than a 24 year old chick. That's political correctness. That's why she's in charge. Her dad was like a huge armorer

on all these movie sets for years. And so they throw the daughter a bone, 24, she wouldn't know a fucking super soaker from a Glock. And anyways, we'll talk about it tomorrow right Tommy? Okay let's move on shall we?

Why do I say that? I don't think he watches the show guys get 19 businesses going it's like having Sammy the Bull as your manager anyways let's move on in the show this story sums up where we are as a country, as a planet, as I don't know. A man spent most of his COVID-19 business loan on one item, Fed say, a $57,789.

Was it a whore? A house? A car? No, a Pokemon card. They're still around? Again, I'm not an investor. I'm sure he knows what he's doing. What the fuck? Justice Department News releases document, a litany of luxury items allegedly bought with pandemic aid meant to make you into a socialist and not go to work to keep struggling businesses afloat one man was charged with spending his loan money on strip clubs now that i can understand guys fucking you know he looks

like abe bogota he's on food stamps gets pussy once every light year. Okay. Another pleaded guilty to using his funds for a $318,000 Lamborghini. Again, anything that gets snatched. That's so typical of men. That's where the money, strip club, fast cars. Why would you just get dirty whores? 150 a pop. Get one that's scarred. 50 a pop, and you could be in a bind hook for the rest of your life. But this guy, Vinath Odomsain. What the fuck? He looks like his name is Johnny Smith.

Maybe the only person. I was expecting like an Indian guy. Maybe the only person accused of using his small business loan on a single Pokemon card. Prosecutors say the card cost the Georgia man $57,789. More than two-thirds of his federal aid, which officials say was based on false information. 57 large. Show me the money! Wow.

Let me ask you a question. Once they send you that money, can't you do what you want with it? There must be something in writing saying it's got to go to your business. But how do you prove that when you send it to everybody? This is what happens when you throw money around. The wire fraud charge brought last week against Odomzain.

Fucking, I'm going to call you O. It's part of a federal crackdown on alleged misuse of massive relief programs that threw lifelines to businesses during the pandemic. Really? You threw you threw millions to Americans and you're surprised that they spend it on dumb shit? Pandemic, but also raise concerns about scams and waste. Yeah, because we've been concerned about that forever. Right. In this country, there's no insurance scams going on or welfare. right, in this country.

There's no insurance scams going on or welfare. A federal watchdog said this month that the Small Business Administration, SBA, overpaid $4.5 billion in grants to self-employed people and that no system of controls was in place to flag applications with flawed or illogical information, even claims of up to one million employees. Somebody said they had a million employees, and the government fell for it. This year, the SBA inspector general concluded that the federal agency rushed out billions of dollars in loans through the Paycheck Protection Program at the expense of controls that could have blocked inappropriate aid. Well, whose fault is that?

You know whose. The result, according to the SBA Inspector General, was limited assurance that loans went to only eligible recipients. Of course. You guys couldn't get nothing right. It's too big. The system's too big. You know what I mean? It's fucking laughable.

I spent my loan money when I bought a new mouse and nice laptop. I put it right back into the business. It's making me nothing. The SBA on Sunday faulted the administration of President, who else? Donald Trump. Excuse me.

They're like little kids. They're blaming Trump and called Orem Zayn's case another example of the fraud that resulted from their lax controls. Really? It's Trump's fault, you people? Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag,

onking spunk bubble, I'm telling you, H. You keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. Not this time. In a statement, the agency said that under the Biden administration, it has worked with Congress and the Inspector general to add anti-fraud measures while speeding up its processes. Defenders of the SBA's COVID-19 program have also argued that flagged loans and grants represented a small fraction of hundreds of billion dollars in aid.

Yeah, we should believe them. of hundreds of billion dollars in aid. Yeah, we should believe him. An attorney, excuse me, cyst his ass. I don't even smoke anymore. What is this? Lasagna fucking?

Mama! I don't have a cough button. Sorry, folks. An attorney for O declined to comment on the case Sunday, and the defendant has yet to enter a plea. How about retarded? I ain't one of my Pokemon, guy. According to the court records.

It's probably a good investment. Hey, what the fuck do I know? Why is the picture of him? It looks like a mugshot. It looks like an orange jumpsuit. I could be wrong. What the fuck kind of name is that? What are you? What are you? Who are you?

How much is that card worth? That's what you did with your... I want to know what kind of business he was running. Something about a happy ending, I'm guessing. You know what I'm saying? What would I do if I had that kind of well pay for the kitchen I just put in

that would come with a fucking pizza oven oh my ass I hate Mondays because I know I got a three show we got to do Monday Tuesday traveling Thursday folks I know I got to, three shows, we got to do Monday, Tuesday, then I'm traveling Thursday, folks,

I'm heading down to Florida. Still haven't decided whether I'm going to get on a plane or fucking drive. I mean, it just never stops. I worked like a goddamn coal miner in the early 40s. Anyways, you know what's fun? You ever get the crabs as a kid? Or maybe chlamydia, which I could have fucking diagnosed myself by the time

I was 20. Oh my God. I used to live near a bar that had the horriest waitresses and bartenders. Oh my God. Apparently, they didn't wash their bouquets. I got a lot of shit down there. Spraying Kingsford on my pubes and light them up.

Anyways, why are you talking about that, Nick? Well, there's a new, again, to add to the misery of this world. It really, flesh-eating STD, ugh, that causes beefy, who wrote this? Beefy red sores is spreading in the UK. Those look like lozenges to me. Those are blisters on somebody's skin. Ladies, how do you like that? You get on a blower guy and that's staring at you. What would you do?

The girls I went out with, they were so drunk, they'd bite them off. Swallow them whole and go, I'll do anything, motherfucker. Have a lozenge? Well, that's on somebody's labia. I'm backing out of there. A once rare, again, once rare. I've been saying this again since I've been about 25, Again, once rare.

I've been saying this again since I've been about 25, that because of open borders and, you know, because of airplane travel and, you know, we've been waiting for pandemics. We've gone through a few. And I was just, you know, that's why this shit, shit we wiped out in 1600 AD is coming back. A once rare flesh-eating sexually transmitted disease that causes beefy red ulcers is spreading across the UK, according to a report. I don't know about this story.

Kind of makes me a little bit hungry. Delicious. Thank you. Thank you for eating those pussy nodules. Cases of Donovanosis. Boy, I want to know which Donovan you know some Irish

fucking some Irish guy walking around with beefy red ulcers all over his lips and cock you didn't fuck Teddy Donovan

did you I did oh I told you to stay away from him Shelley cases of Donovan Osis which causes thick sores that damage I did. Oh, I told you to stay away from him, Shelly. Cases of adenophenosis, which causes thick sores that damage genital tissue, have been steadily growing in the region. What region?

The vaginal region. In the region since 2016. And cases, oh, my teeth, are expected to rise, according to data and experts cited by Birmingham Live. That's Birmingham, England, my friend. Figures suggest that dunavinosis, which was previously thought to be restricted to places including India, Brazil, and New Guinea, is becoming, New Guinea, they're still running around with grass skirts and shit, and eating, isn't that weird fucking, you know what, people who eat each other, cannibals, becoming more common on these shores. Dr. Dada of My Healthcare Clinic in London told the outlet,

health officials reported 30 cases of the STD in the UK in 2019, but more infections in the past two years could pose a public health risk, she warned. The STD is generally transmitted through unprotected sex, but in rare cases it can be spread through non-sexual skin-on-skin contact. Who's touching somebody's skin if you're not trying to fuck them? Oh yeah, many people. non-sexual skin-on-skin contact. Who's touching somebody's skin if you're not trying to fuck them? Oh, yeah. Many people. And to newborn babies

through their moms. Ugh. God. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me and I'll kill you. Symptoms include bulging red bumps, damaged skin, loss of genital tissue. That's the one that worries me, but then again, I'm married and I fuck once every three years. Loss of

genital tissue, color, according to healthline.com well it should it looks like a box of cough drops it's ugly the STD is more common in parts of India Papua New Guinea Central Australia and the Caribbean in southern Africa according to the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention. Long-term treatment include with antibiotics are needed to cure the disease. So, Uncle Junior waited. What did the blind man say when he passed the fish mark?

I don't know. Good morning, ladies. Uncle Junior, that was juvenile. No need of that type of talk. All right, that is it for today. Monday, and remember, the show, we have the show tomorrow and Wednesday, and then Thursday, I've got to make my way down to Port Charlotte,

Florida. The Bassani Theater then Thursday, I got to make my way down to Port Charlotte, Florida. The Bassani Theater. Thursday, one show Friday. One show Saturday, two shows. Apparently, there's no direct flights. Jesus Christ. I'm going to fucking build a helicopter like Jeff Dunham, and he builds his own helicopters. I'm sure that will end well.

Maybe I'll have a fucking Alec Baldwin as a co-pilot. That is it. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Tell everybody about it, please. You can sign up there monthly or make daily contributions. That's the permanent home of the show. And if you sign up monthly, you get an extra story nobody else gets.

Go to nickdip.com. Click on the tour button to see my tour dates. Next month, Christ, that's coming. I'll be in Vegas. And don't forget cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com. I'll make, I'll roast them. You tell me who it is, a little bit about them. I'll

make a recording on my phone for a minute, minute and a half, and it's a lot of fun. That's it. You guys think it. I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow. Take care, everybody. guitar solo guitar solo