The Nick DiPaolo Show - Government to Read Your Personal Texts | Nick Di Paolo Show #571

Episode Date: July 13, 2021

Are you dog stylin' me? Flying hippos. The corrupt-stone state....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, this show, The Nick DiPaolo Show, is a place you can come to for an hour each day and know that the truth is going to be spoken. Sometimes it's politics, sometimes it's comedy, oftentimes it's both. Any way that you cut it, though, it's always honest, unfiltered, and free from the bias you'll find pretty much everywhere else, and certainly all day long by mainstream media. Free speech lives here, and it always will. I want to thank you all for supporting the show,
Starting point is 00:00:31 and I want to encourage you to contribute on the comicsgym.com page or visit nickdip.com and click on Contribute. Your contributions are what keeps this show going and what has helped us now put the show on Roku, Apple TV, Android, Amazon, and mobile devices. Again, donate on thecomicsgym.com or at nickdip.com and know that 100% of your contribution comes right directly to this show.
Starting point is 00:01:00 I thank you guys again. La la la la la la la Hey hey hey Hey hey hey How you is? How you be? What it is? Excuse me. Welcome to the show. Tuesday already.
Starting point is 00:01:54 Matt, let me ask you this. I can see the reflection of the lamp. Does that fuck anything up? Nope. All right. There's your first edit. Anyway. All right, good.
Starting point is 00:02:05 How are you, folks? Welcome to the big show. Tuesday already, thank God. What's going on in the world? I don't know. People going in and out of my house, that's all I know, and I don't know what they're doing. They look like plumbers, I don't know. My mother's birthday is up in Boston this week, and I was going to go, but I don't trust
Starting point is 00:02:24 leaving people in my house. I don't care what they do. Excuse me. So let's get right to it, I guess. I got nothing to say. Let's get to the important shit. In our Are You Dog Styling segment tonight, that's right, we save that for the stories that I just can't believe.
Starting point is 00:02:50 The Biden administration is casting conservative opponents of its COVID-19 vaccine campaign as dangerous and extreme. See, that's what they do when you disagree with them. They label you as a nut, a conspiracy theorist, a racist, dangerous and extreme. It's time for a war. I'm not kidding. Adopting a more aggressive political posture in an attempt to maneuver through the public health conundrum. He doesn't know what the fuck he's doing.
Starting point is 00:03:20 What are we doing? What's going on right now? Just sit down and play bingo and let Kamala take care of it. The big misinterpretation that Fox News or whomever else is saying is that they are essentially envisioning a bunch of federal workers knocking on your door, telling you you've got to do something that you don't want to do. And you know who said that? The minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels, otherwise known as Anthony Fauci, trying to block a fart that Biden just cut. Anthony Fauci, President Biden's chief medical advisor and lying cocksucker, said in an interview on Sunday, quote, that's absolutely not the case.
Starting point is 00:04:02 It's trusted messengers. First of all, can you be more specific? If it's people you trust, I don't want them on my front lawn. Trusted messengers who are part of the community doing that, not government officials. How stupid you think we are? So that's where I think the disconnect is. Jesus Christ. Who gives a fuck what you think we are? So that's where I think the disconnect is. Jesus Christ. Who gives a fuck what you think? Really at this point, Fauci took some of that messaging to Sunday cable news shows that allow him to spill his lies, including underscoring the idea that door-to-door vaccination efforts are an attempt to remove barriers to access. Here we go with the, you know, black people and poor white people, they just don't have access.
Starting point is 00:04:50 They don't have cars. They're shitting in coffee cans behind their house. And, you know, they don't have TV or whatever. Barriers to access. And that 99.5% of deaths due to COVID are among people who are unvaccinated. That's misleading, and I'll tell you why. That might be true, but give the statistic of how many of them were unhealthy to begin with in over 70 years of age. The one statistic that has been constant is that if you're under 70, you have a 99.96% chance of surviving COVID-19, which means it's a flu. Stop with your
Starting point is 00:05:29 stupid numbers, Fauci. Fauci also calls for vaccine mandates at local levels. And here he is Look at Goebbels, huh? Handsome guy. Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Joseph Goebbels slash Anthony Fauci. Who the fuck is this shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Here's some video of Fauci spreading his fucking network. Here's some video of Fauci
Starting point is 00:06:05 spreading his fucking misinformation. By the way, that's the term they use. They don't say outright lying because they disagree with you. They're very clever with their language play. Go ahead. But I do believe at the local level, Jake,
Starting point is 00:06:23 there should be more mandates. There really should be. Why does Jake always look like he's about to cry? He must be thinking, I can't fucking believe I came over here. At Fox, I could have been a star. That's another guy you don't trust because he started at Fox and he went here, just like Allison Camerata. And somebody asked, when were they lying?
Starting point is 00:06:44 When they were working at fox or now anything for a paycheck look at him he's about to cry like a bitch go ahead fauci spread your nonsense life and death situation so i am in favor of that you know one of the things that will happen and i think the hesitancy at the local level of doing mandates is because the vaccines have not been officially fully approved. But people need to understand that the amount of data right now that shows a high degree of effectiveness and a high degree of safety is more than we've ever seen with emergency use You pompous, stuck-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole! The hesitancy for people to vaccinate, it's not FDA approved, but come on, we have all this data that you're not aware of, by the way, that only we can see. I mean, it's safe, Just take our word for it.
Starting point is 00:07:45 Quit being pussies and get everybody jabbed. The dog, your kids. I got money to beg. Can you imagine? Are there any other products they do that to? When you go to GNC, right? None of that shit's FDA approved, but it actually says it on the bottle, I think. This won't make my dick bigger in three weeks? But come on, people. It's not FDA. That's where the disconnect is coming from. How about the people that went to comas and died and the young people in their 20s were developing myocarditis and heart conditions? How about that, Mr. Fci? You think that has anything to do with the hesitancy to take it? You stupid son of a bitch. Ask not what Fauci can do for you. A man goes to a clinic. He's jabbed with a shot. Dies three days later. dies three days later.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Just take it. It's so what? It's not FDA approved. They don't say that about any other shit as far as medical. The White House has decided to hit back harder on misinformation and scare tactics after Republican lawmakers and conservative activists pledged to fight the administration's stated plans
Starting point is 00:09:01 to go door to door to increase vaccination rates. The pushback will include directly calling out social media platforms and conservative news shows that promote such tactics. Why do you think they were spying on Tucker Carlson already? Do you believe this shit? It gets more crazy this hour. I haven't even got to the good part yet. But the fact they're going door to door, but don't remember, it's just local church people and shit. Biden allied groups, including the DNC, that's the Democratic National Committee, are planning to engage, get, listen, buckle your seatbelts, fact-checkers more aggressively, and work with SMS carriers, those are the carriers that carry your text messages on your phone,
Starting point is 00:09:51 to dispel misinformation about vaccines that are sent over social media and text messages. Your phones, they are going to be able to check your personal message. Anybody, is it time to break out the guns? Who's with me? Eddie, your phone is tapped. Listen, I'm not going to use this line anymore. Go to Chen Lewis. I'll call you there in five minutes. They can't run a tap
Starting point is 00:10:17 that fast. So long, everybody. They're going to be fucking looking at you they already do probably i'm guessing they don't though because uh you know the way i talk to my friends i would have been arrested years ago for some of the uh but uh this is the government checking your shit who the fuck do they think they are exactly the goal is to ensure that people who may have difficulty getting vaccinations because of issues like transportation. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:10:54 What are they living on? Gilligan's fucking island? What do you mean? Transportation. This thing's called buses. Poor people. See those barriers lessened or removed entirely. So that's the red herring. We are steadfastly committed to keeping politics out of the effort to get every American vaccinated
Starting point is 00:11:12 so that we can save lives and help our economy further recover, White House spokesman and lion bitch Kevin Munoz said. When we see deliberate efforts to spread misinformation, said, when we see deliberate efforts to spread misinformation, again, misinformation, anything that they disagree with, we view that as an, why don't we stop calling them on misinformation? Jesus Christ, Republicans, do you do anything? Look at the lamp now, Matt. We view that as an impediment to the country's public health and will not shy away from calling that out. Is that right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:54 You're lying. Yeah. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. The pushback is a change of tone and approach from earlier this year when the White House often chose to ignore its most vocal conservative critics out of a desire not to elevate them. It is a tacit acknowledgement that the July 4th goal of 70% vaccination nationwide was overly optimistic.
Starting point is 00:12:17 Only if it was Trump in office, they would have hit 110%, if not naive. And it underscores that, and by the way, that's the other big thing that they, they, they're telling you how safe this shit was. Yet when Trump, you know, Trump's the one who got all the shit made and they said, don't take it. Kamala Harris is on tape saying, don't take it. We don't know what's in it because it came from Trump. Literally, now she's pushing this shit. You people aren't even good at fucking lying, you soulless cocksuckers. It underscores that two realities are setting in. It becomes more difficult to convince vaccine skeptics to get their shots. Of the 10 least vaccinated states, all were won by Donald Trump in 2020.
Starting point is 00:13:03 Oh, I see where you're getting at. You mean like Florida? You mean like Florida that's fucking doing way better than New York still? What are you talking about, Mississippi? Who gives a shit? And the anti-vaccine voices already vocal in the country are becoming more mainstream by Republicans eager to oppose
Starting point is 00:13:25 Biden-led initiatives. Indeed, over the past few weeks, criticism of the administration's door-to-door vaccination strategy has increased. Why don't you just hide them in Girl Scout cookies? That's the next move. Just put the shit in. I can never think of it. What's a good thin mince? What are mince? What's the other one with a weird name that everybody loves? Yes, samosas. Just hide the shit in there. I will be vaccinated to the fucking tilt. Has increasingly become a fixture on Fox News. Look, they keep bringing up Fox News, the only fucking news organization that's not part of the Democrats propaganda machine. In addition to being a topic, excuse me, a top topic on conservative social media posts
Starting point is 00:14:10 and over SMN messages to cell phone users, they're coming right out and saying this. It's coming at a time when the highly contagious Delta variant, oh, here it comes, folks. It's what? It's halfway through July. So this should hit about September. Delta variant, which is from India, by the way. So it didn't come from bat soup. It came from some type of fucking curry.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Delta variant is triggering a rise in hospitalizations and infections among those who have not been vaccinated. Those who are door knocking are individuals like pastors or grassroots organizers. Isn't that how Hitler started? Not government bureaucrats. And they are not delivering vaccines. Well then get the fuck out of my... Hey, we know how to take care of ourselves.
Starting point is 00:14:57 We don't need the government to tell us that we need a shot or don't need a shot. What to put in our body, what not to. We're fucking grownups. Stay the fuck off my property. But spreading the word on where and how to get vaccinated and why it's important to do so. Jesus H.
Starting point is 00:15:15 Shut up. Mind your fucking business and shut up. To the degree that people understand that the White House reasons, it could have a positive impact on increasing vaccinations. I hope you people are as shocked as I am after reading that, that the government, not only they're announcing it, they will be looking at your misinformation, they call it, your texts. I told my mom, she's 83. I said, don't get it. She died about a week ago. Listen. No. No, I understand my mom, but I mean my friends and shit. Oh boy. They tap into my phone, I'll be let out of here in cuffs. But I do it in a very funny way, you know? My family gives me three thumbs up, the emoji thing.
Starting point is 00:16:06 You know, the kid laughing with the tears, all kinds of funny shit in there. Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. I can't believe what I just read, and you should be, that's creepy, the government in your life like that. It is, do they think they're gonna get reelected? Honestly, there's gotta be even liberal people going,
Starting point is 00:16:27 what the fuck is going on here? I hope. I'm sure people like Deborah Messing, she's flipping her bean on her bed right now. Fucking go, oh, this is great. The government's going to tap into these idiots in fucking South Carolina. I'll tell you one guy that pretends he follows the science but doesn't,
Starting point is 00:16:46 and he's headed out the door anyways in New York. Seems like he's been there for 60 years. Bill de Blasio does not follow the science, in my opinion. Oh, there he is, a grown-up 14-year-old. Look at that, Jackoff. Just put the joint in your mouth and put the black sun behind you and tell us you're headed to the game. Just put the joint in your mouth and put the black sun behind you and tell us you're headed to the game.
Starting point is 00:17:09 He's got chicken teeth. Ever see his teeth? They're tiny. Must be grinding them down. All New York City public school students must continue to wear masks in the classroom, Mayor Bill de Blasio said Monday. classroom may have built de Blasio said Monday, despite, despite notwithstanding the CDC's latest guidance that vaccinated kids and teachers can go mask free, but he knows better. He's got the mind of a grandmother. Better, better, better be shaved and shawty. That's probably all litigious shit to prevent them getting sued. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:17:47 I can't even. Let's listen to Jerkoff. We've been constantly working with the CDC, but we also, in this case, have been very. This is how he starts it. He's very slick here. We've been constantly working with the CDC. Now he's going to mumble some mumbo jumbo bullshit that puts you half asleep. And then at the end, he's going to go, but we're going to do what we think is right.
Starting point is 00:18:11 He's so smooth at it. Go ahead, let him talk. Careful, given everything the city's been through. So I'm absolutely confident based on this guidance and everything else we've seen that we'll be able to get all our kids back into school in September. But for now, we're sticking with the idea that, you know, wearing the masks is a smart thing to do in schools. We'll keep assessing as we go along, but I think for now it still makes sense.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Do you hear what he just said? He said, we work with the CD. We always work with them. But no, we're going to mask up the kids. I don't want to get sued. I'm on the way out the door anyway, so I know it's unpopular, but I don't give a shit. How do I look in my Brooklyn hat?
Starting point is 00:18:58 Like the jerk off that you is. Oh, my God. They wrote him a nice song in New York for his exit. If I could only find it here, it would be terrific. Whoa. A-S-S-H-O-L-E Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E That's coffee coming out of my armpits. You guys must think I stink, but I don't. I'm a very clean person.
Starting point is 00:19:36 I shower every time I do a duty. I learned that from Tiny Tim. Remember Tiny Tim? He actually used to do that. He said that on an interview on the Mike Douglas show. Mike goes, we heard that every time that you, you know, nature calls, you take a shower. Well, that's right, I do. Tell me his mother didn't fuck him up. Ay, ay, ay.
Starting point is 00:19:58 Anyways, back to de Blasio, the worst mayor in the history of the planet. The new guidance advises schools to implement layers of protection. They say, wrap your kid's face in duct tape, then plaster Paris, and then a Goldie mask, and then put some bubble wrap around their face, and two layers of cement, and they might survive. Layers of protection such as, oh, I see the different testing and contact tracing, which, by the way, is going to come to me and you adults that aren't vaccinated. Because as we said yesterday, Dr. Wen was on CNN saying we should make their life difficult, the unvaccinated people. So buckle up for that, too. A part of me is hoping come the fall they try to do the lockdown thing again. is hoping come the fall they try to do the lockdown thing again just to see you think the fucking cities burned during the riots because people will lose their minds
Starting point is 00:20:51 this is not even about covid you guys know that it's about control that's all it is anyway laser protections dirty condoms and uh such tested contract casing in lieu of mass or three feet of distance which has already been disproven to be bullshit between students who can get vaccinated starting at age 12 those recommendations echo recommendations made by the new York State Department of Health in June, which the city also opted to disregard. He's just saying fuck you to everybody. New York City Health Commissioner Dr. Dave Chokshi, there he is about to set off a, Chotsky. There he is about to set off a, it looks like a pipe bomb there, doesn't it?
Starting point is 00:21:53 Dr. Dave Chotsky said the decision to keep school mask rules in place for the time being mirrors the CDC's advice. Problem. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. Y onking jam rag, arcing spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. Oh, there he is, Dr. Chosky, with his hand on the button. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad.
Starting point is 00:22:14 Haka Sherpa Sherpa, a bacala. Bang! You know, that means they're happy. Everyone's coming back in September. A lot of safety precautions. This is the doctor being taken. Oh, his honor said. For now, assume we're wearing masks, but that could change as it gets closer.
Starting point is 00:22:37 It will be driven by the date we see in the science as always. You just ignored the science. You just ignored the CDC. Aren't they the one who speak for science? I mean, come on, man. Come on. Like I said, he doesn't care. He's out of there in a matter of minutes, I think.
Starting point is 00:23:05 You know who know, who's who else is running? Curtis Sliwa, head of the Guardian Angels. Is that what they're called? Guardian Angels, right? Remember Curtis Sliwa? He had his radio show in New York. I love him.
Starting point is 00:23:20 I did his show a couple times. Where's the beret? Remember the Guardian Angels? They'd be on the subways in their red jackets and fucking up bad people. And he's the real deal. The guy, John Gotti Jr., tried to have him whacked in a cab. And he's a real New Yorker. Why wouldn't you vote for a guy like that? They already look like they're going to vote this Eric Adams guy in, this former cop, top cop, They already look like they're going to vote this Eric Adams guy in, this former cop, top cop, who's big, obviously anti-crime, but that's about it. He already made a decision that looks like, I can't even remember what it was, that was kind of leaning left.
Starting point is 00:23:55 Whatever. New York, you get what you deserve. Democrats are mentally ill. If you don't believe it, have you seen what's going on in Texas? The headline, flying hippos, as in hypocrisy, hypocrites. Pictures show several smiling, maskless Texas Democrats on a plane fleeing Texas in part of their move to protest the GOP's efforts to strengthen election integrity in the state. There they are on the plane getting out of Texas. Notably, Texas Democrats thwarted the effort
Starting point is 00:24:29 at the end of the 2021 regular session by staging a walkout, leaving Republicans without a quorum. That's you have to have an opponent there to vote against. If they're not there,
Starting point is 00:24:39 you can't have it. It can't be official without a quorum to vote on the measure. Senate Bill 7 in May. Can you fucking imagine? They've done this before, too. All right, get out. Stay out. As a result, do you believe this? These are the people that the state of Texas voted in to represent them. And they're going, fuck you. And people in polls, people in polls are all for strengthening the guidelines as far
Starting point is 00:25:09 as voter fraud goes and making it harder to cheat. And these nitwits are just like, fuck you, we're going. Completely ignoring the people's will in Texas. As a result, Texas Governor Greg Abbott promised that election integrity would be added to the special session agenda. And indeed, Abbott's office subsequently released an agenda for the special session, which included key election integrity items, mean making it harder. You know, really far out things like having a picture ID and shit. Fucking criminals are just a, they're a criminal organization, the Democrats. That's all they are. However, instead
Starting point is 00:25:48 of tackling the legislative priorities, Texas Democrats opted to flee the state, yet again denying the GOP majority a quorum to pass any bills. This is a now or never for our democracy. We are holding the line in Texas. Democrat
Starting point is 00:26:04 nitwit, excuse me, state rep Trey Martinez Fisher said, is that him? Is that a real nose or is that a rubbing nose and glasses thing? He thinks he's doing his job by fleeing. We left our jobs. We left our families.
Starting point is 00:26:21 We left our homes because there's nothing more important than voting rights in America. Oh, my fucking word. They are just pissing all over the Constitution. They don't give a fuck. Pictures show the Democrats smiling aboard a plane holding up peace signs. And without masks.
Starting point is 00:26:44 You shit-kicking, stinky horseman who's smelling motherfucker, you. plane holding up peace signs and without masks. Meanwhile, GOP lawmakers such as Senator Rand Paul of Kentucky and Rick Scott of Florida have been vying to end the federal mask mandate, which requires domestic travelers to wear masks on commercial flights regardless of vaccination status. How much more proof do you need to know? It's just telling you what to do and controlling you. I'm going to have to ride a bike to my next gig in Texas or wherever. According to a February report from the National Business Aviation Association, that's the NBA, A, National Basketball Association, A-holes.
Starting point is 00:27:25 The federal rule extends to charter operations and at transportation hubs, including FBOs, although private conveyances for personal non-commercial use, which is that plane, if you're chartering, I guess it comes under private, are exempt from the rule. But it still tells you a lot, doesn't it? I don't care. It tells you that they don't believe in this shit either, but they're going to tell you what to do. So in this thing, we're not only talking about voters' rights and having picture IDs and making it more transparent, we're also, it brings in COVID into the story. They're just flying hypocrites.
Starting point is 00:28:10 I hope that plane, I hope when they land, there's a lot of fire trucks and foam involved. That's the way to start it. Exempt from the role, meaning passengers of private part 9-1 operations are not required to comply. Interestingly, a case of Miller Lite can be seen on the bus. Look. Miller Lite, huh? While I'm looking at the first couple ladies in the first row, it's too late for light beer.
Starting point is 00:28:37 Jesus Christ. And look at them. Look at the woman in the front. Wouldn't fuck her with my dad's dick. Then you got that fucking thing on the right. Ugh. Yuck. Stupid and ugly.
Starting point is 00:28:53 This is the shit that Hannity and everybody else wants to say. That's why the show's so popular. Anyways, they got a case of Miller Lite on the bus, prompting critics to note that alcohol sales require a photo ID. Yeah, you ever think of that? Something Democrats routinely describe as suppressive and racist. They're not the brightest people. It's a stupid, stupid, stupid.
Starting point is 00:29:20 As Breitbart News reported, the original election integrity bill Texas Democrats quashed, placed additional, that means they crushed it, they didn't want it. And what it was going to do was place additional restrictions on voting by mail, which is we need, creating new ID requirements and expanding the freedoms for partisan poll watchers. All the shit that, these are all the reasons that Joe Biden supposedly won. And I'll still stick to my guns. It's all going to come out that he didn't, but it does too late now. The voter law in the state of Texas is far more accommodative and provides far more hours to vote than it does in President Biden's home state of Delaware, where he voted in the last election, nobody told him, where they offer exactly zero early days voting, he told the Dallas Morning News.
Starting point is 00:30:13 Zero, so it's more restrictive in Delaware than the fucking state of Texas. What? No soup for you. You don't even have, you only have like one day to vote the way it should be, but that's not fair to black people. Let's be honest. They like to be fashionably late, let's say. So that's oppressive too. Does anybody care about the state of Delaware? I get fucking nauseous driving through it. No offense, folks. I'm just saying. You got no history. You didn't
Starting point is 00:30:39 do anything. You got some beautiful rest areas, a couple Arby's. I'm sure there's something you're known for other than this shithead. If there's any voter suppression taking place, the easier allegation is say that voter suppression has taken place in Delaware, not Texas, he added, which is exactly right. Oh, my God. oh my god what does it tell you folks that the democrats are against anything that makes the process more transparent what does that tell you and not just in a voting issue on all issues they like to do sneaky shit in the dark what does it tell you And you still vote for him, huh? You do, don't you? Even if you don't, Trump could have got $190 million.
Starting point is 00:31:31 We'd never know. Speaking of Trump, he's back in the news. Yesterday, he bitch-slapped former Attorney General Billy Barr, who I think looks just like Elton John. We have a picture, Chubby? Sadly, no. Oh! What?
Starting point is 00:31:48 I didn't get one. You have to. Every time we talk about Bill Barr. And if you can't, Matt, pull up an Elton John picture. That's what we do. Anyways. Here is Trump talking about Bill Barr and him, you know, telling Trump to leave the fraud alone, basically. And here's Donald Trump.
Starting point is 00:32:26 a day ago received a statement from the U.S. attorney highly respected in Pennsylvania that Bill Barr would not allow him to investigate voter fraud. Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Can you believe it? Bill Barr turned out to be quite the snake, didn't he? Somebody on the inside came to him and said, you know, and he went, yeah, I'll play him like a fiddle. And for the first few months, I thought this guy is really pro-Trump. And they turned out to be another fucking snake, another deep stater, another swamp creature that needs to be douched. You believe it? Hey, what do let me investigate? Bill Barr said no, that fat fuck.
Starting point is 00:33:10 If I ever see him again, I'm going to bitch slap him. If I know him, I'll bitch slap him. Anyways, Trump was making the rounds, which is good. Because he's keeping his face in the news for a reason. Although I don't know what that reason is. It might have nothing to do with the presidency. He just loves to be on camera. Anyways, Trump talked about liberal shitholes and as far as the cities that Libs run that
Starting point is 00:33:39 are going in the toilet. Former President Trump talks law in order with lawrence jones amid uh he's for fox news a black dude u.s crime surge at cpac in dallas so here he is talking to lawrence jones about how democrats have no idea how to run cities there you go all democrat states oh if you look at uh as an example, Chicago. Illinois is very bad. But Chicago, take a look at the numbers. They had 260 people shot on Fourth of July weekend. New York, through the roof, no more cash bail, no more anything. All they do is go after Republicans. Take a look at Los Angeles, what's going on in Los Angeles with the crime, and Oakland,
Starting point is 00:34:23 and Baltimore. What you have to do is you have to give the police back their authority. Then he went on to say, Lawrence, a lot of these people look like you. I couldn't believe it. I fell off my seat. I thought it was outrageous. You believe it? He said that. You believe it? He said that. You believe it?
Starting point is 00:34:49 That's the sounds of people go to sleep in Baltimore and Detroit, Chicago. Call to sleep to this. So far in Chicago in 2021, at least 1,587 people have been shot. An 11% increase compared to 2020, which is amazing because I think they set records in 2020. And a 58% increase compared to 2019, according to the Chicago Police Department's crime statistics for the week ending July 4th. You know, those are white man statistics. So how's Beetlejuice doing, the black lesbian you elected, who was actually appointed, who's a hateful, racist bigot, and she sucks at her job, and if we were living in any kind
Starting point is 00:35:39 of a normal world, would have been fucking asked to leave a year ago. a normal world would have been fucking asked to leave a year ago. As far as New York City goes, under previous New York law, prosecutors would determine whether to make bail recommendation or agree to have the defendant released on their own recognizance. The case judge would then make a determination. Defense attorneys would typically make arguments that bail would be inappropriate or should be set at a low amount, which judges would take into consideration. Under the current law, courts are now prohibited from setting any monetary bail
Starting point is 00:36:20 or keeping defendants in custody before trial in almost every type of misdemeanor case and for a long list of felonies as well. Can you imagine? Can you fucking imagine letting a felon back on the streets before his case comes up? How obvious is that? Whose agenda is this? Just to... Oh. What you just said. Hey, it's not me. It's New York.
Starting point is 00:36:54 It's one of the most insanely idiotic things I've ever heard. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. May God have mercy on your soul. Hey, don't kill the messenger batch. In New York City, there has been an 8.5% increase in murders year to date as of July 4th and a 37.8% spike in shooting incidents, according to data provided by the NYPD. Has anybody checked the figures? Trump argued that police can stop the crime surge, but the police are afraid they're going to lose everything if they go after somebody because some bad acts were done. And because of those bad acts, they've destroyed these police forces. They're passing legislation where the cops could be, you know, personally liable if something goes wrong. That's how to incentivize people to sign up.
Starting point is 00:37:41 And they pass that shit during a crime spike. Somebody help me out. I'm looking at some beautiful property in Ireland. It's the only country I can think of. Well, in the 70s, it was always on the news. People were getting blown up over abortion. I never thought I'd long for those days. But I'm looking at
Starting point is 00:38:03 County Cork. I got a nice duplex. According to a, right here, according to a Fox News poll conducted in April during the final days of a Chauvin trial. Listen to this, though. They conducted a poll, found that by nearly two to one margin, 62 to 33 percent registered voters of all colors disagree with reducing police funding and moving it to other areas. Okay. That's not just black. It's black people, white, everybody that lives in those shitholes. If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? You are not. And I am an eggplant, because I'm Italian. You're a cantaloupe. I love this guy.
Starting point is 00:38:51 Anyways, let's move on to one of the most corrupt states in the Union, the corrupt stone state. That would be the keystone. Pennsylvania. Pennsylvania. Acting Secretary of State Veronica de Graffenried. I thought she was going to be German with that name.
Starting point is 00:39:08 But no, turns out she's a backup singer for Bob Seger. Okay, the Stones. Pick a group. Another black woman in a high position. I don't ever want to hear how sexist or racist this country is again. Boy, are we lowering
Starting point is 00:39:24 the standards out of fairness. Well, Nick, why would you say that? How do you know? Because I've already seen her work. Okay? I don't believe, and I don't, I've said this a million times, I don't believe women like this got elected, they get appointed. That's all I'm saying. And if I'm wrong, and people voted all these people in, like the hateful, racist Cori Bush and the district attorney in St. Louis, the one that outright hate white people, if they were voted in, then I don't want to hear how racist this country is ever again. This is Secretary of State of Pennsylvania Veronica de Graff and Reed told all 67 counties
Starting point is 00:40:01 in the state on Thursday not to comply with a request for information and materials needed to conduct the forensic audit of the 2020 general election made Wednesday by State Senator Doug Mastriano, Republican, who chairs the Intergovernmental Operations Committee. So she's telling the counties, don't you comply with anything he asked for. I wonder what... Well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc? How do you mean that? She likes a rigged game, you know what I mean? You know, you get that little red beaver in front of you.
Starting point is 00:40:43 I don't think it's crazy at all. Mastroianno's initial request was sent to only three counties. Philadelphia, population 1.5 million. Tioga, population 40,000. And York County, population 451,000. The population of the state is 12.8 million. What is she hiding hiding let me ask you a question and i've asked it since the election if you didn't cheat and you didn't steal the
Starting point is 00:41:10 motherfucker why wouldn't biden and her and everybody else and the democrat party go go ahead do a forensic do an audit go crazy because we have nothing to hide that's the only thing you have to say to some idiot who calls you a conspiracy theorist when you say the thing was stolen. Because that shuts them right the fuck up. Why didn't you come out, Joe, and say, go ahead, look through it? But they're not, are they? They're hiring hundreds of lawyers to keep this shit in the dark. God, I'm frosted right now. My nipples are burning. Today, as chair of the Intergovernmental Operations Committee, I issued letters to several counties requesting information
Starting point is 00:41:51 and materials needed to conduct the forensic investigation of the 2020 general election and the 2021 primary, Mastriano wrote in an op-ed published on Wednesday. We have asked these counties to respond by July 31st with a plan to comply. The counties represent different geographical regions of Pennsylvania and differing political makeup. So they're not trying to be biased about this. Some are Republican while others are Democrat, which means that this will be a balanced investigation. The Intergovernmental Operations Committee is a standing committee of the Pennsylvania State Senate with oversight and investigatory responsibilities regarding activities relating to or conducted between two or more governments or levels of
Starting point is 00:42:38 government, including the administration of elections across the Commonwealth, as set forth in the Pennsylvania Senate Rule 14D, each standing committee empowered with the authority to inspect and investigate the books, records, papers, documents, data, operation, and physical plan of any public agency in this Commonwealth, including county boards of elections. Let me just cut through all that shit. They're hiding something. They're hiding something. And Veronica doesn't want to...
Starting point is 00:43:27 This is necessary as millions of Pennsylvanians have serious doubts about the accuracy of the 2020 general election. A January poll from Mullenberg University showed that 40% of Pennsylvania voters are not confident that the results of the 2020 election accurately reflected how Pennsylvanians voted. You can say that about every state.
Starting point is 00:43:49 Almost. Discounting or mocking their concerns, Mastriano says, is neither an answer nor proper in this constitutional republic. He's fighting for your rights. And guess what? I read a thing today. He has the votes to do this, apparently, in the Senate or something. Come back here. Yes. And tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. That's my horse.
Starting point is 00:44:47 On Thursday, the following day, Acting Secretary of State D. Graffenried July 8th, county boards of elections shall not provide physical, electronic, or internal access to third parties seeking to copy and or conduct an examination of state-certified electronic voting systems or any components of such systems, including, but not limited to, election management software and systems, tabulators, scanners, counters, automatic tabulating equipment, voting devices, servers, ballot marking devices, paper ballot or ballot card printers, portable memory media devices, thumb drive, flash drive, and the like. Why didn't you just come out and say, we cheated like a motherfucker? She just gave them a list with a look. And any other hardware, software, or devices being used, boy, could they be more thorough,
Starting point is 00:45:43 used as part of the election management system. Who put her in charge? How did she get in there? Hey, she was a hooah. Yeah, but that doesn't matter. Me, she was a hooah. I don't care.
Starting point is 00:45:56 Do you think they're hiding anything, folks? When the Secretary of State says do not comply with any of this shit, that would make this a transparent process. Because as you know and I know, we stole the mother mugger. I hope somebody's watching this show for the first time who votes Democrat. You know, wake the fuck up and smell the coffee. What are the odds of that? About the same odds of me dating Cardi B.
Starting point is 00:46:28 I never cover Cardi B and shit like this ever because I just don't care about pop culture that much. It doesn't affect me. I mean, yeah, I dated Madonna in the bugging late 80s and got some type of strain of chlamydia that I couldn't get rid of. But listen, that's only because she fucked half the Detroit Pistons at lunch. Gee, Cardi B, really? The 28-year-old rapper.
Starting point is 00:46:55 Oh, she's a rapper. I thought she was just an artist. Look at the tatters on that guy. Me and Matt, Matt goes, take a look at her. I go, I go, I know, I know, fucking guy. She does look like a bit of a tranny there. Those breasts are about as real as my Rolex. You know, kids, the 28-year-old rapper recently celebrated the third birthday of her daughter, Culture.
Starting point is 00:47:22 That's with a K. So I'm sure she's going to be an English major. Culture. Culture. Whom she shares with rapper Offset. Who your parents be? Offset and Cardi B, yo. In a post she had on Instagram,
Starting point is 00:47:43 the star revealed that she gifted her daughter with a this is for what third birthday? A sparkling necklace from Elliot Elliot, Elliot, Elliot, where I got my wife's gifts certificate for $12. Though neither the musician nor the jeweler has revealed just how much the accessory costs. Multiple outlets have reported the value sits around somewhere around $150,000 for her little daughter, a necklace worth 150 grand. Your mom's a whore. Your mom's a whore. Take it easy. That's not nice. While there were plenty of supporters that gushed over the sweet birthday moment, Cardi also faced backlash for giving culture such a pricey gift,
Starting point is 00:48:30 especially considering the lavish party and other expensive gifts that were featured online. It's just so ridiculous. It's actually a good idea now. If somebody wants to steal that chain, usually you have to snap it off a guy's neck in a fight. You can just pick the baby up and run with it. Undo the chain. Don't hurt the baby. Just flip it back in the truck.
Starting point is 00:48:51 Culture got my whole tuition. These are comments from people online. Culture got my whole tuition around their neck, a comment they wrote on Instagram. I just hope they are investing the same amount on her education, said another person. Somebody else said, I have yet to see a toy for that baby. That's actually a good point. Wrote yet another, added another, I love it, but she so young, save some stuff for when she grow up, said obviously not a white guy.
Starting point is 00:49:29 stuff for when she grow up. Said obviously not a white guy. However, Cardi wasn't interested in the naysayers and took to Twitter to fire back. She says, when your kid want ice cream, not wants, want, when your kid want ice cream for dinner, do you give them ice cream for dinner? Do you give them ice cream for dinner? My baby is overly spoiled, wit, W-I-T, toys, and super educated. Yes, but how about your education? She explained. If mommy and daddy fly, then so is my kids. God bless them.
Starting point is 00:50:02 God bless the blacks. And I'm blacker than black, and I'm black, y'all. Let me just say this about the blacks. They like nice things. She added, fuck, look like being fly as a fuck. Am I kidding? Not. Translator. I think my mother said that on my 12th birthday when she got me a nice shirt.
Starting point is 00:50:27 My kid look as fly as fuck. Let's stay on black culture and whatnot. My favorite rapper was shot to death, KTS, Chicago rapper. KTS stands for Kill to Survive. I have that tattooed on my ball bag. I got it when I was an altar boy at the church up the street. Anyway, whenever you're doing a story about a rapper from Chicago, you know it ain't going to be good.
Starting point is 00:51:03 The Chicago rapper was gunned down in a hail of bullets moments after. Do you know, is there any, can I ask you a question? Is there any more dangerous job than being a rapper in Chicago right now? What's the odds of saving that? A cop. There you go. Maybe cop. Cop, yeah, cop one, rapper two.
Starting point is 00:51:23 Anyways, he got hit, sprayed with bullets moments after he walked out of a jail and been fitted for an ankle bracelet. Well, they know where he is. When a 31-year-old, Landre Sylvester, left Cook County Jail, there he is. Eh, looks like a straight-up kid, before 9 p.m. Saturday. Gunman got out of two parked cars, shot him 64 times. Jesus, that's like Sonny on the causeway. Pups, they kill Sonny on the causeway.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Gary Gauman, who's a great comedian, texted me, and he said, he goes, you ever notice Tom, when Tom went out to L.A. to talk to the head of the movies there, and when the guy refused the offer, Tom said, I have to return to New York. Mr. Corleone likes to hear bad news quickly. Mr. Corleone likes to hear bad news quickly. He goes, it wasn't very quick when he had to tell Vito about his son getting gunned down. Now you've had your drink. Shot 64 times, according to a police report obtained by the Chicago Tribune. Two women were also injured in the ambush.
Starting point is 00:52:49 A 60-year-old woman who just posted Sylvester's bond. Can you imagine? You get caught in a crossfire posting bond. And a 35-year-old woman who worked at the jail. Sylvester rapped locally as KTS Dre and had tattooed KTS on his neck alongside a Target sign. He's got a Target tattoo on his throat. Jesus, talking about making it easy. Put a red dot on his forehead. The report stated KTS stands for Kill to Survive.
Starting point is 00:53:27 And guess what? He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it. Well, you could have. He could have went into the classical music business. Sylvester had just been released from custody and fitted with an electronic monitoring device as part of his bail, the police reported.
Starting point is 00:53:46 The rapper had been jailed for violating the conditions of his release on 2020 gun charge, the Tribune said. He posted a $5,000 bail Friday, newspapers said. Sylvester and the 60-year-old woman were walking to a waiting car Saturday when they were ambushed. He was hit in the face and chest, and the woman was struck in her knee. The other woman was grazed by a bullet, but she's going to put out a new album now.
Starting point is 00:54:12 Call it G-Hard. Like G-Hard, G-Hard. She'd be Middle East. She was grazed by the bullet. She said, fuck that shit. Sylvester was taken to Mount Sinai Hospital where he was pronounced dead. According to
Starting point is 00:54:29 reports. Moment of peace, please. Bye-bye, dickhead. Hey. It's not very nice. Anyways, the shooters fled their vehicles and Priuses and left a trail of corn chips
Starting point is 00:54:44 on West Division. shooters fled their vehicles and Priuses and left a trail of corn chips on West Division. They fled in vehicles. No shit. What do you think? They could be on Vespers? They fled in different directions and police are seeking surveillance footage of the area. Yeah, I'm sure they're all over it.
Starting point is 00:55:00 What do you mean what murder? KTS. That was the shooter's lawyer. That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Remember thecomicsgym.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. And don't forget cameo.com, which is where you can go. Cameo, click on my profile and tell me about a person. I will roast that person on my phone. I'll make a video, a minute, minute and a
Starting point is 00:55:33 half, and we will send it to them. Usually those people who receive them are fans of mine and they enjoy a verbal beating. Or I can wish your parents a happy 25th anniversary. Whatever. It's very popular. I'm getting so rich on it, I bought this tie today. That's right. $3.50. $3.50. Anything else? What am I thinking, Matt? That's it. You're good. All right, kids. Again, thank you for tuning in. Please spread the word about the show. And we've got to get the numbers up. We've got to. I don't want to do stand-up 50 days, 50 weeks a year.
Starting point is 00:56:14 I'd say two weeks is good. No, I'm kidding. You think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We will see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'll see you next time.

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