The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hate Crime in Buffalo | Nick Di Paolo Show #1209
Episode Date: May 16, 2022Buffalo mass shooting. Kamala department of redundancy department. Flea market shooting. Laguna shooting....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵 Oh yeah.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
So, enjoy.
Oh, I will, I will, I will.
Kiss my ass. All right Alrighty then. How are you,
folks? Welcome to the Filthy Show on a Dirty Monday from the beautiful city of Savannah.
Savannah, Georgia. Such a beautiful city. I lay on my couch on an 83 day watching.
Excuse me. That's not cigarettes. That's tuna casserole I found on the sidewalk.
Excuse me.
That's not cigarettes.
That's tuna casserole I found on the sidewalk.
Yeah, there were a few hockey fans.
I won't bore you too long, but I think there was six.
Six Game 7s?
Five or six in the first round of the playoffs.
I think it's an NHL record, actually.
One of them was last night.
The fucking Rangers were down three games to one to the Penguins.
Came back.
Last night it goes into overtime, game seven.
There's no better higher stakes in sports.
I don't care if it's a Super Bowl with a minute left.
Game seven, sudden death in hockey.
Oh, wouldn't you know the goddamn Rangers pulled it out.
I just say fuck you because it's New York.
I didn't really have a dog in the fight, but...
Penguins were manhandling in the whole series,
but they hung in there.
Rangers got a goalie.
Russian, of course.
Shesterkin.
They get rid of Lundqvist, right?
He retired.
This kid comes in, he's better than Lundqvist.
Had a couple soft games in the series.
Anyways, what fucking hockey?
I didn't even get to the Calgary Flames Dallas Stars,
which went to game seven.
That's in the West Division.
The Kings got eliminated in game seven by the Oilers.
Dude, and my brother sent me a compilation tape of the dirtiest hits in NHL history.
I'm sending it to you.
This shit rivals NFL fucking helmet-on-helmet shit.
It is brutal.
Dale Hunter and Ty Domi,
they used to go right for the head.
On 100 miles an hour, elbow to the head,
laying people, God.
Anyways, I love it.
Makes my nipples hard.
Real quick, what else?
I had London broil.
Oh, marinated it in fucking
soy sauce, balsamic
vinegar, garlic, a little bit of ketchup,
whatever else,
and marinated for overnight
and then
broiled it. Put a crust
on that fucker, cut it on
the bias. Medium rare for
me. Of course, the wife, I have to put it in the microwave
for another 12 minutes to ruin it for her.
And then what did we do with the leftovers
yesterday? Cheese steaks
with London broil.
Made a fucking
cheese sauce.
And I had mushrooms left over.
Let me tell you, Pat's would have been
blushing. Anyhow,
that's why I'm a fat fuck.
That's all I got to say about that.
Let's get on with a sad weekend.
Folks, I try to be funny on this show, but they're making it very difficult between Ukraine.
Boy, didn't they fucking war fall off the map as far as news goes?
I don't even know what's going on over there.
All I know is Putin missed a hockey game that he plays in every year
where they let him score like five goals, and he really thinks he...
You ever see that?
I'm not kidding you.
Anyways, that guy's got cancer.
He might have Parkinson's.
I don't like the idea of him knowing he might be...
How do we know the doctors and say, yeah, you got about a year left?
That's kind of scary.
Well, the guy has his finger on the button,
who's a little u-bots to begin with. Anyway, speaking of crazy, horrible mass shooting in
Buffalo yesterday. Great timing for the Democrats. Don't mean to be cynical. Don't want to yell false
flag because that'll be a conspiracy nut and all that shit, but it did cross my mind. Okay,
time down there. I know, I'm just saying.
Anyways, the kid's name, scumbag, piece of shit,
Peyton Gendron,
is arrested Saturday after killing 10 people
at a Topps Market supermarket in Buffalo,
upstate New York.
Police say the massacre was motivated
by the 18-year-old's hatred for black people.
I love, and I'm going to make the comparisons here, folks.
I love how 20 minutes after the fucking shooting,
they know everything about the white kid
and his hatred for black people.
Yet, the fucking guy on the subway
that we've already forgot about,
New York a few months ago with a gun.
Remember? He had the fucking smoke bomb.
Took about a week to find out he was a black nationalist.
Whatever.
It's just hilarious how they treat this.
And you can't tell me that Kamala Harris and she's not moist about this politically.
So is the governor of fucking New York, Huckle, whoever the fuck she is.
And Biden.
Oh boy, here's that white supremacy we've been talking about.
Anyways, a piece of garbage, a human piece of garbage, we all know that.
But like Glenn Greenwald had a great quote in a paper yesterday,
all ideologies have an extreme nut.
Whether it's Muslim, right-wing, or whatever.
It drives, you know, if they take it literally
and follow the scripture, this is what happens.
Anyways,
11 of the people shot were
African-American. Gendron shot
four people outside the store,
three of whom died, the commissioner
said. He then went into the supermarket
where he exchanged gunfire with a security guard, a former Buffalo police officer.
Can you imagine?
This guy walked the streets as a cop, I don't know how many years, takes this job probably in his retirement or whatever, right?
And this is how he gets it?
The ex-cop shot at the gunman multiple times, cop said, but the bullets hit the shooter's body armor and left him unfazed.
Gendron then killed the guard, identified as Aaron Salter Jr.
A further six victims are believed to have been shot dead inside.
Cops said Gendron scrawled the N-word on his rifle before carrying out the murders.
The teen pleaded not guilty to one count of first-degree murders
stemming from the massacre Saturday.
It is not yet clear which of the murders the charge refers to.
He will likely face more charges in the coming hours.
I would hope so.
He didn't even dress up for the hearing.
Excuse me.
Where is your life at when you're 18 years old,
standing there in a hospital gown in front of a judge?
Wow.
Jen Dren, who was barefoot, masked, and wearing a paper schmuck,
schmuck, I said that very Jewishly,
a paper schmuck, a schmuck, in court Saturday,
lived in the small town of Conklin with his dad, Paul,
and mother, Pamela, prior to the murder,
both of whom are engineers for the New York Transit Department. Neighbors in the rural town,
which has a population of just over 5K, told the Daily Mail that the Gendrons are an unassuming
family and that the news of the Peyton killings had shocked them to the core. Well, of course,
most of them are.
What do you think?
Ah, you know what?
They used to be out in the yard shooting at each other.
They're fucking crazy motherfuckers.
I'm not surprised.
Not how it works, folks.
The president has been briefed by his Homeland Security advisor.
See, right away, it's a Homeland Security issue.
I just want you to guys keep your radar up on how they treat this.
I'm not trying to defend
anything as piece of shit. Hope he dies. Well, he's going to get, he'll get murdered in prison
considering the demographics and whatever, and whatever happens to him. Good. But I'm just saying
watch how Biden treats this. Watch how the media treats it compared to the fucking guy that ran people over in Wisconsin during the parade, the shooter in New York on the subway, all the fucking black thugs who are beating up, killing Chinese people in the late 90s, pushing women in front of traffic.
Just watch how they dig into this because this is the threat. right. Even though this happens once in a great while, that other shit happens, you know, the
crime in all the lib cities happens every day. And if you're white, you're twice as likely to be
a victim of it, believe it or not. That's what the FBI says. But those are white numbers, I know.
Anyways, Homeland Security Advisor on the horrific shooting in Buffalo,
New York this afternoon. He will continue to receive updates throughout the evening and
tomorrow as further information develops, she receive updates throughout the evening and tomorrow
as further information develops, she said,
adding the president and first lady
were praying for the victims and their loved ones.
Unlike when the parade went down,
we didn't hear from him for days.
Remember?
Anybody?
Anybody remember?
Does anybody remember what you heard
from the Biden administration after the
Wisconsin parade incident? I do.
Horrible, horrible.
Oh, this kid's done.
Anyways, the mayor
of Buffalo, there he is. Got some pictures of him.
What's that?
Yeah, let's take a look. Here's the
mayor first, I guess, right?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I messed up that. Here's the
suspect in the cop car. What would I be looking at?
A shooter, a mass shooter
type s***.
They said
there was a quote in the paper from a witness that pulled up right after
the shooting, and he had already come out, and he had the gun to his own neck.
He was on his knees or something.
And the cops talked him out of it.
No, he's a coward.
Dude, you would have been better off blowing your head off, because what's going to happen
to you?
Dude, you would have been better off blowing your head up. Because what's going to happen to you?
And you know what?
Buffalo, things are just looking up with the bills.
They're a fucking powerhouse now.
Seriously.
It's a hard class.
I, comedy is so good up there.
I used to play Buffalo twice a year.
Hardworking blue collar folk who love Trump and love, you know, only good thing about
New York.
Here's the mayor speaking yesterday.
This is the worst nightmare that any community can face. And we are hurting and we are seething
right now as a community. The depth of pain that families are feeling and that all of us are feeling right now
cannot even be explained. Some of us had the opportunity to provide comfort to
some of the families but needless to say there is no comfort at this time. We are pleased that a shooter is in custody. The person responsible
for the tragic events of today is in custody. And may he burn in hell. Imagine you go into
the goddamn supermarket, just minding your own freaking business and don't, I don't want to hear about
it, New York. You got the strictest gun laws in the country and you don't enforce them. They don't
work. This kid sent up more red flags. Once again, if you read the story, this kid was fucking nuts.
I guess a year prior in high school, they asked him at the end of the year what he was going to
do or whatever he wanted. He wanted to either have. He said he wanted to do a mass murder, either at the graduation ceremony or sometime after that.
That's one red flag. Then when COVID showed up, he showed up to school dressed in a hazmat suit,
head to toe, gloves, boots, and everything. Didn't say a word. People just looked at him like he was. He was nuts.
So
once again, there's red flags
everywhere. But it's a fine line. What are you
going to do if he hasn't done anything?
Right?
But the point being is
those comments,
again,
it's touching, but those comments,
the kid obviously had a screw loose.
If you put together what he did, what he said, showing up in a hazmat suit, he made other
threats too.
You put those together, you don't want to sell him a gun, but none of that shit comes
up.
The guy that sold him the Bushmaster said there was nothing irregular about his background
check.
So, and again, that's New York with a lot of laws.
So, aye,, that's New York with a lot of laws. So, uh, ay-yi-yi.
The hate-fueled teen who fatally shot 10 people at Buffalo Supermarket
apparently scrawled the, excuse me,
scrawled the name of a woman slain in the, uh,
Waukesha parade rampage on his gun,
adding, here's your reparations,
according to post-law enforcement sources and reports.
You're fucking crazy.
Well, yes, he is.
Photos emerged of the rifle used by Peyton Gendron, 18,
that appeared to show the misspelled name
of Virginia Sorensen,
as well as that of a possible other parade victim
on its barrel, the Daily Beast said.
Gendron added the N-word in
Here's Your Reparations on the firearm, sources said.
Just a radicalized punk.
I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in.
Somebody will.
Sorensen, a 79-year-old white woman, was one of six people killed during a Christmas parade
in Waukesha, Wisconsin last year when a black man, see, watch, see, this is from the AP,
when a black man plowed his, first see, this is from the AP, when a black man plowed his SUV,
first of all, you remember when they were characterizing it, remember the wording they
used, a car went into a parade, remember they wouldn't even say, anyways, his SUV into a crowd
of celebrities, suspected killer Daryl Edward Brooks endorsed attacking whites on social media before the horror.
And I'll remind you once again, we didn't hear from Joe for a couple days.
Didn't even go to Wisconsin, did he?
I don't know if he ever went.
Might have, but it was like a week.
Authorities said that before Gendron's slaughter, the teen wrote a 180-page manifesto
focusing on the great replacement theory
that argues immigrants are being purposely brought into America to skew electoral results.
Yes, sir.
That's true. Sorry.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
You can't fucking argue that.
There's no reason to kill anybody.
Not yet.
Authorities called him a loner.
No kidding.
Who became radicalized online during the early days.
Back to the pandemic.
Well, you ain't going to worry about him no more.
Bye-bye, dickhead.
Mother of God.
Just, again, this isn't going to go away, folks.
You watch this.
They'll keep this in the news like they do, you know what, the pandemic.
Still watching hockey, 18,000 people in the seats, no masks, no nothing.
Guy in the penalty box, not the player.
There's a guy in there with a suit on.
He's got the mask on.
Scoreboard guy got a mask on. Just to remind you that it's not the player. There's a guy in there with a suit on. He's got the mask on. Scoreboard guy got a mask on.
Just to remind you that it's not going away.
That's all scripted.
You can kiss my ass if you think it's a conspiracy.
Don't kiss it.
I haven't washed it in a good week and a half.
Not true.
I showered today.
I think I have depression.
You did smell good walking in.
I did, didn't I?
I don't know what it is. Well, I think I know what it is.
We haven't had access to the upstairs bath, which is the bigger of the bathrooms, right? The downstairs one is real old-fashioned and small
and I hate showering in it. Especially with a garden
hose my wife hung up there. It's really...
Look, I'm a clean dude
all my girlfriends ever said you're the cleanest guy ever met I'm saying you
know I wipe my ass if you like you know I'm a very guy even when I sweat I don't
smell but I've been showering once a week now is that a byproduct of marriage
that's what I'm blaming it on. What am I going
to do? Oh, my God. Who am I? My wife's going to think I stink? Anybody hear that? Anyways,
that's why I, but I worked out three times last week and just put my clothes back on.
week and just put my clothes back on again no body odor let's move on this is gross anyways more uh on this story sorry folks it's monday everybody be talking about it why not
um shooter part three what was her reply to the... Oh, we're talking about...
Why does it start there?
Is that what I did?
Yeah, there was nothing associated with it.
This is social, though.
We're talking about the governor.
I didn't give you a video?
Oh, my fucking stem.
Anyways, Hockle, the huckle,
you know, the woman who took over for Andrew Cuomo as governor.
In other words, she's never been elected.
She just, you know, the woman who took over for Andrew Cuomo as governor. In other words, she's never been elected. She just, you know, interim.
So nobody voted for this left-wing chooch.
Anyways, what was her reply to the train gack?
Oh, she came out against this guy talking about, what was the platform?
Twitch.
Twitch.
She said the tech companies have to crack down like Twitch,
blah, blah. And what she means is anytime they crack down on the internet, it's always right
wingers. So right away, she's out there with that shit. What was her reply to the train gas mask guy
who expressed supremacist hatred of white people, Jewish people, and other races?
supremacist hatred of white people, Jewish people, and other races.
This is a, by the way, I took this out of the comment section because this guy was thinking, anybody with any reason,
that the minute I hear the story, I'm like, how are they going to treat it?
What are the left-wing politicians going to say?
This guy summed it up beautifully.
I actually pulled the comment.
He says, asking for Brooklyn subway victims. You
know what he means. She didn't say shit. He says, what was her reply to the supremacist
anti-Semitic assaults in Jewish neighborhoods? Asking for Brooklyn Hasidic folks. And of course,
what was her reply to supremacist anti-Asian violence in Metro New York asking for the Asian New Yorkers?
What was her reply to September 11th supremacists asking for all New York City, all of America?
That's who he's asking for.
her reply to the fascistic and Marxist antifa assaults and doxing against anyone who disagrees,
asking for everyone.
It's true, man.
Just do that.
Hold the mirror up to how they treat this shit, and you'll know they're, you think she's sad?
You think anybody on the left is, they're sad?
You think they're sad?
This kid just handed them a little bit of a chance in the midterms.
You know what I mean?
Now they can use, you know, whatever, pandemic and this and abortion.
What was her response, the guy asked, to the abortion supremacists
who threatened their opponents with unleashing the whirlwind.
Remember Schumer said that? Asking for all judges, he says. Exactly. You can go out now and pick it
in front of a judge's house, which is against the Constitution. Intimidate them before a ruling
comes out. This Buffalo Marxist is a self-described fascist. Talking about the kid.
He's more like the party of Hulkel than anything else, meaning the Dems.
The left tries to assign his sick leftist murder for power ideologies, too.
Speaking for all Americans.
Are all supremacists equally evil or just, you know, the white ones?
Asking for all Americans.
All supremacists, perpetrators, need the white ones asking for all Americans. All supremacist perpetrators need the maximum punishment
and social revulsion they deserve.
Don't be a selective hater,
Governor Huckle.
I thought that was well put.
It's the old double standard.
We know we...
And watch.
I just want you to watch
how long this stays.
I already forgot myself. And you know, how long this stays. I already forgot myself.
And you know I follow this shit. I already forgot
about the goddamn subway
shooter, the black guy in New York,
which was only a few months ago, right?
I think. Not even
maybe. I already forgot about him
myself. Why? Because I wasn't being
reminded by CNN
and ABC
and CBS about black violence in america how it's really if you
take those statistics out it's hardly a violent country at all but this will be on a fucking loop
on msnbc nbc cbs i can't wait for the good day show they'll have some of the victims families
you know you guys will hear about this till November.
And jerk off. Biden has a reason not to come out.
When I tell you white supremacy, it's a real threat.
And like I said, for every one incident like this, there's a thousand, you know, black or white crimes that happen every year that you don't hear about.
But anyways, that is my point.
And there's actually a couple more shootings that
happened that I'm going to get to in a second. I couldn't, I was planning the show out last night,
right? Yesterday afternoon. So I got the Buffalo shooting. As I'm doing that, there's like breaking
news, a shooting at a flea market. I put that one in and I'm like, oh, for Christ's sake, I got to do two shows.
Ten minutes later, another thing comes in about Laguna Church in Laguna, California, I believe.
It was another shooting.
And here's the other thing I want to remind you.
I think the definition of a mass shooting is more than four people.
I think it's four or more.
Well, let me tell you something. Every weekend in Chicago there's mass shootings. They're not just shooting at one person. You can, you know, so let's not
fudge the numbers. I'm just saying, media, you drove us to this point. And it's been years and
years. You've driven us to this fucking point where there's something like this. Now there'll be
disproportionate amount
of coverage because it's, again,
a white suspect as opposed
to black. And you guys all
know the drill.
There are white niggers.
I've seen a lot of white
niggers in my time.
In our reverse
the races segment, President Joe Biden called Saturday's Buffalo supermarket attack an act of domestic terrorism.
No kidding.
Here we go.
White guys my age.
Remember, an act of domestic.
Joe, did you say that after the Waukesha?
Did you ever, ever say that?
That wasn't domestic terrorism?
Or the guy on the subway in New York?
Or Colin Ferguson 30 years ago in New York?
On the subway?
Did you ever say that when it's a black suspect?
No, you don't.
Why aren't those domestic terrorists?
I mean, they're in the United States.
They're domestic.
Oh, that's right. Only white guys are terrorists.
An act of domestic terrorism.
They're all acts. That's fine. You can call
this one that. It is what it is. Just call
the other ones that, too. Running over
people, old ladies in a parade?
What the fuck is that, a hobby?
An act of domestic terrorism while the Department of Justice investigated the apparently racially
motivated mass shooting as a hate crime. I'm telling you, he had a hard on when he heard this
and the rest of the jerk-offs. You fucking hypocrite. Is he ever. We still need to learn
more about the motivation for today's shooting as law enforcement does its work.
But we don't need anything else to state a clear moral truth.
He gets all ballsy, huh, when it's a white guy.
A racially motivated hate crime is abhorrent to the very fabric of this.
No, your administration and what you believe in is abhorrent to everything
this country stands for, you piece of garbage. Biden said in a statement, the old man as he
crapped his pants. Thank you. Anti-active domestic terrorism, including, you ever hear,
I'm going to, this is how he talks at this time, anti-active domestic terrorism,
including act portrayed in the name of Republican and white nationalist ideology,
is antithetical to everything we stand for in America.
So are you.
You're a fucking left-wing Marxist who's leading a cultural revolution that the people don't want.
So suck my dick and swallow every drop of it, you fucking clown.
Hate must have no safe harbor.
We must do everything in our power to end hate fuel.
Oh, the word hate just comes up thousands of times when it's whitey.
To end hate fuel domestic terrorism.
He is the scum.
Take that, you.
You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
A hip-hop-speaking cunt.
Said and true, but need to tell you
you're a motherfucking cunt.
You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.
Motherfucking cunt.
Everybody knows it.
Biden is a douche, douche, douche, douche.
Womp, womp.
That was Dallas on trumpet.
Nick DiPaolo on bass drum.
Hey, guys, I'm back on the road again.
I'm on the road again.
I'm getting close to have enough confidence to bring my guitar in here, folks,
and play some, not the whole song, but I can kick it.
I can play to some backing tracks.
I've let it be.
I got the solo.
It's fucking tremendous. What a great feeling when you can play to some backing tracks of Let It Be. I got the solo. It's fucking tremendous.
What a great feeling when you can play something like that.
And then I go to bed and cry because I'm going,
what am I going to do with this?
Fucking neighbors are throwing shit at the house.
I don't have any soundproof rooms.
I got the thing on 11.
I'm doing fucking.
You know how many times my neighbors have heard the fucking solo to Cat Scratch Fever?
Cats are screaming, dogs are shitting blood.
I'm back on the road this weekend at the Comedy Cabana in Myrtle Beach.
I had such a good time.
It was a year and a half ago?
I don't know, two?
Year?
I don't know.
I really don't know the difference between a year and two years.
Run by a nice couple, and their kids were, and I'm telling you, I had never been there and it was a very pleasant experience. Plus
they put you up right on the beach and you know I got all kinds of, oh my god, there's all
fat women walk around my age and it's terrific. I throw them food off my
balcony. Besides that it's a great room. I'm looking forward to doing a weekend
that doesn't require me to fly.
I'd rather spend $8 a gallon on gas.
It's actually cheaper if I buy a plane ticket now because of Biden, you motherless fuckstain.
Anyways, shows out this Friday and Saturday. Two shows each night, and you can get tickets at nickdip.com and click on tour button.
Please do it.
Please.
I hope to see,
I really had a good time.
I hadn't really,
I did Greenville.
Is Greenville South Carolina?
It is, right?
Dallas?
I did that fucking 30 years ago
when I was a young comic.
I also did Charlie Goodnight,
but that's in North Carolina,
I think. Picked up a girl in a denim skirt. I'll did Charlie Goodnight, but that's in North Carolina, I think. And I picked up a girl
in a denim skirt. I'll never forget that. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.
In our shut up and make me a goddamn sandwich, Vice President Kamala Harris will make a trip to the United Arab Emirates today.
Wow, they're giving her all the important jobs.
Here she is thinking about what she's having for dinner.
Oh, I don't know.
Probably a protein bar, energy drink, and a side of Black Hawk.
She's going to make a trip to the United Arab Emirates.
They're just pushing her.
Maybe she'll say something, whatever.
Leading a presidential delegation to express in person, oh, condolences.
That's when you know you did a good job.
They send you to funerals. On the death of the country's president, Sheikh Khalifa bin Zayed Al-Nayan.
That was my fucking rap name.
Is that a real
beard? That looks like he painted that on.
Is that not true?
No, they dye the shit out of them.
They do, don't they?
You're right.
And obviously he's got an air filter
on his head. I have no
idea why, but Kamala's going to go over to say goodbye-bye.
Because she even met him.
He's gone.
And we couldn't do nothing about it.
Allahu Akbar.
Allahu Akbar.
Hit it, Mohammed!
More cowbell.
More women genital.
That music, I don't know about you,
but I hear that shit.
I feel like I'm being raped in a Turkish prison for having an ounce of marijuana.
Harris will also meet with Guy Fieri.
We'll also meet with new president Sheikh Mohammed bin Zayed El.
Wait a minute.
It's the same name, ain't it?
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
Is that how the article went?
Yep.
Is it his kid?
Maybe.
I don't know.
Zayed El Nayan.
While in the Emirati capital of Abu Dhabi.
Now that's a funny goddamn name for a city.
Abu Dhabi.
According to a statement from Harris she went
I'll translate that. A statement from Harris's press secretary, I'm sorry Kirsten Allen. Oh
she's good. There she is with a dress that has the pattern of the COVID virus all over.
is with a dress that has the pattern of the COVID virus all over it.
What are them, black eyed peas? I can just tell by her haircut she hates white people. In addition to honoring the memory and the legacy of Sheikh Khalifa, wasn't he a rapper, Khalifa?
The vice president will underscore the strength of the partnership between our countries and our
desire to further deepen our ties
in the coming months and years.
Let me translate that.
Motherfuckers, we're going to need that oil
someday. Don't go nowhere.
Anyways,
even though they're against fossil fuels,
but you know how it is.
If their plan goes in place,
the whole new green thing,
you know, to refit your house
with solar panels, it'll cost $80,000, you know, and it your house with solar panels it'll cost eighty thousand
you know and it goes in the toilet after a month anyhow so that's what the spokesman said
what we couldn't get her she's too big you stupid fucking blabbermouth cut now i want you to listen
to once again i couldn't think she could top herself. Remember a couple weeks ago she kept saying,
what was the phrase she kept saying over?
Oh my God.
Oh, what was it? Shit.
My memory is so bad
from staying up till 4 a.m.
You know.
It's on the tip of my tongue. I can't even.
I know, me too.
She kept saying.
Anyways, she kept repeating something eight times.
Here she is repeating the phrase, we're going to work together.
She says it five times in 30 seconds or something.
She is so vapid.
She has been exposed.
You know what it demonstrates?
How far you can get in this country
when you're on the left
with just bumper sticker phrases
and cliche talking points
about this place being racist.
All the same horseshit you're hearing,
but you're a woman
and you have to be in the right time at the right place, woman of color.
You can get that far in the Democratic Party.
She's the second in command. It proves they got nothing.
Now listen to this idiot try to speak.
That is especially true when it comes to the climate crisis.
Are you going to work together? Which is why we will work together and continue to work together.
To?
To address these issues, to tackle these challenges, and to work together as we continue to work operating from the new norms, rules, and agreements that we will convene to work together on to galvanize global action.
With that, I thank you all.
This is a matter of urgent priority for all of us,
and I know we will work on this together.
Tell you about fucking mumbling, stuttering little fuck, you know that?
What she forgot to add was the significance of the passage of time.
Passage of time, that's right. the passage of time. Passage of time.
That's right.
The passage of time.
Remember she said that 11 times in 30 seconds?
It's almost like she's toying with us.
That is a fucking Letterman sketch or an SNL sketch.
She is as vapid.
I mean, I almost admire Hillary Clinton when I see broads like this. At least she's in there, Hillary, thick-ankled dogface throwing haymakers, having people whacked.
She's trying to do something.
This bitch, a phony.
Yeah, reminds me of this guy.
Remember this lawyer, my cousin Vinny?
That's who, this guy here.
This is her.
All right.
Mr.
Tipton.
The old sniff.
I'm telling you, he did that on the audition.
The sniff at the end, he threw that in there like,
bing, bong.
That's all you're going to do, you know.
I know. I landed two parts in a 150 audition.
Lenny Clark, great story, real quick. He walked into an audition in a 150 audition. Lenny Clark,
great story real quick.
He walked into an audition in LA
for a sitcom.
He walks in
and they go,
any questions? He goes, honestly,
I do. Who wrote this garbage?
And he's like, I've
never, this is the unfunniest
fucking garbage.
Dead silent. He went off for like a minute and a half. Seriously, this is the unfunniest fucking garbage. Dead silent.
He went off for like a minute and a half.
Seriously, this is what's wrong with TV.
Bop, bop, bop, bop, bop, bop.
And everybody's like, and he goes, that's acting.
That's Lenny.
Street smart.
Always has an angle.
Didn't get the part.
No sense of humor in Hollywood.
Anyways, Tony Blinken, remember him? Didn't get the part. No sense of humor in Hollywood.
Anyways, Tony Blinken, remember him?
This dinkweed, said in a statement,
we look forward to working closely together.
Oh, my God!
To build on the extraordinary partnership between my life partner, Kevin, and two girls,
between the United States and the United Arab Emirates
that grew under His Highness
Sheikh Khalifa's presidency and continuing our dialogue.
All I know is they have UFC fighting over there.
That's where they shot some of them during COVID.
God bless Fight Island.
Dialogue to advance a more peaceful and secure region and world.
Yes, because when I think of the Middle East, I think of peaceful middle east i think of peaceful secure regions that's what i think
all righty something about that snack bar anyhow let's move on that was a that story was supposed
to be a a palate cleanser from shoot from the Buffalo shooting story because we covered it thoroughly.
Now let's get back to more shooting.
People, how about Nick?
People flee, flea market.
No, no, no, no, no.
A shooting at a flea market in Harris County, Texas Sunday
left multiple people injured, at least two dead.
Imagine losing your life because somebody asked for it all as a roller skate.
Somebody outbid you.
Injured at least two dead at a freaking flea market.
According to a tweet from the sheriff.
I don't, this is crazy.
Now you're going to give me that Monopoly set?
The shooting may have stemmed from...
I'm using a yard sale flea thing.
I don't know the difference.
I don't buy other people's shit.
I can afford nice shit.
People next to us had a flea thing this weekend.
Holy fucking moly.
I'm sitting on the porch,
smoking my cigarette, people leaving. I'm like, yeah,. Holy fucking moly. I'm sitting on the porch smoking my cigarette
and people are leaving.
I'm like,
yeah, enjoy that fucking dusty hat.
The shooting may have stemmed
from an altercation
between two parties.
Can you...
What a violent country
when you're at a flea...
How do you...
Two parties that turn violent.
Don't mention a race,
so I'm going to go out on a limb.
It's Houston. I don't want
to be racist. Who's an animal? I don't know.
Your mother's an animal, you son
of a bitch.
Oh!
Jake, take it easy.
Harris County Sheriff Ed Gonzalez said in a later tweet,
for now it appears the wounded were all
likely participants in the altercation.
They were bidding over a fucking 40-year-old ashtray that was shaped like President Nixon's head.
No innocent bystanders were injured as far as we...
Really? Nobody caught in the crossfire at a flea market? That's good news.
The sheriff said, as he dyed his hair way too black,
at least two pistols covered, multiple shots fired.
Were they for sale, the gun?
At least three other people have been transported to area hospitals,
but they transported them in those nice old, those antique wheelchairs,
the wooden ones that look scary.
Those are creepy. Transported area hospitals and their
conditions are unknown, according to Gonzalez, okay? Man, it's getting rough out there.
Going to a flea market, pick up a jacket. That's what I'm going to do.
It was a busy Sunday when thousands of patrons... Oh, it's a big flea market
thing. I see. This explains
it, because if you get more than four people
of color in the same area, shit's
going to go down. Hey, I could be wrong. It could be
white people, but I'm just going to go out on a
limb, and if I'm wrong, you correct me.
I apologize ahead of time, but I fucking
doubt it. Visiting the flea market
when the shooting occurred, Gonzalez tweeted.
Because you know the crypts and the bloods go to the flea market
every Sunday.
The flea market is located around 12
miles north of downtown
Houston.
The violence
is spilling out into the suburbs.
Why? Why all the shooting folks?
Is it because we're black? No, we don't
know that.
Finally tonight?
Finally tonight? Finally tonight?
Oh, before I go.
Thanks to everyone who contributes to the show.
As you know, we are supported by you listeners and watchers.
And it's your contributions that allow us to put the show out for free
and without anyone telling me what I can and can't say.
You really are supporting truth and the First Amendment.
Remember that when you donate.
To make a contribution, please go to nickdip.com.
Click on the red contribute text at the top of the screen.
Is that what they meant, text?
I really appreciate it.
I do.
Me, my wife, and the four teenage girls I want to adopt.
What kind of talk is that?
Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, Laguna Lunacy, another shooting.
I'm sorry, I had other stories that we're not going to get to that weren't about shootings.
Come on, I still made it funny.
Multiple victims.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
Everything started with multiple victims. Oh, Jesus Christ. Everything started with multiple victims.
Multiple victims
shot at church in Southern
California. I didn't
know they prayed in Southern California.
Atheists.
Deputies with the Orange
County that used to be a predominantly
white Republican.
It's not anymore. It hasn't been for a while.
Sheriff's Department was responding to a shooting
at Geneva Presbyterian Church,
where I used to attend when I was out there in L.A.
apologizing and confessing my sins
for the shit I did in the green room on the Tonight Show.
Presbyterian Church in Laguna Woods Sunday afternoon.
There are multiple victims.
Officials said,
do you believe this shit?
This is all on the weekend.
Deputies say one person was detained
and a weapon was recovered.
I haven't got any details on these yet.
I don't know why that is.
Let's take a look at,
I don't know.
Let's see.
Somebody poses a great question
when they're watching this helicopter.
Watch.
You're going to land?
Yeah.
Dude.
Alright.
What gives you that idea?
That it's two feet
off the street?
Is he going to land? No, he's picking up fucking groceries, you dink.
Ay-yi-yi.
Ay-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi-yi.
No, that's a traffic cop.
He wants to get a close look.
One person was killed.
Four others critically wounded.
Again, these are mass shootings.
Sunday during a shooting. And don't say it's the guns.
It's the people with the fucking guns.
End of story. Okay?
How many times are you going to say it?
We have a million laws on the...
Again, California,
New York, covenant laws,
Illinois. That's where
Chicago is, by the way.
It's not the people who belong,
the hundred million who belong not the people who belong,
the hundred million who belong to the NRA.
You get it, you fuckheads?
All right.
Yeah, but it's the ecosystem.
People are poor because of you.
Okay.
Anyways, Sunday during a shooting at church in Laguna Woods.
It's getting nutty out there, folks.
What's the world coming to?
Our Father, who art in heaven.
Anyways, I'll give you the address,
because they do in the story,
in case you want to drop in.
Geneva Presbyterian Church on the 24,000 block of El Octoro Road.
Oh, now I see.
The Sheriff's Department said it detained a suspect.
He looked like Spidey Gonzalez. No, detained a suspect. He looked like Spina Gonzalez.
No, detained a suspect and collected a weapon that might be involved.
I'm guessing if he was white, you'd know all about it.
Orange County Fire Authority said it was on the scene treating victims
and taking multiple patients to the hospital.
Photos on social media showed a row of fire engines parked in front of the church
and police blocking off El Toro Road.
FBI agents are responding to assist Orange County sheriffs at the shooting scene, officials said.
All victims were adults, the sheriff said.
The motive was unclear.
I'm going to find out what the hell happened here.
Well, they have to let
the New York shooting play out
for another couple of weeks, and then they'll identify
the actual shooters.
That's true. That's true. You wouldn't want
to clip that story.
Well, that is it for Monday.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls,
anything in between.
I'm very inclusive.
Don't forget, again, Myrtle Beach.
I'm not that upset.
Bit of a car ride, nothing big.
I don't know why I hate airports so much,
except Savannah Airport is so sweet.
It really is.
You walk in, a guy's playing a fucking piano
in the lobby of an airport.
Walk into JFK, you see a knife fight between a Dominican and a Mexican who just got off
the plane.
Anyhow, any he.
Yeah, that is it for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Again, please sign up monthly at thecomicsgym.com, at patreon.com.
Can you sign up at nickdip.com?
I don't know.
Go there and find out.
You can buy stuff, though, and you can check out my tour dates.
And there's pictures of me when I was a bodybuilder in middle school.
That's right.
I was juicing in second grade, getting all the pussy.
Anyways, what?
That is it.
You guys think it?
No, cameo.com.
I got to say that because I've been getting a lot lately.
Cameo.com.
If you'd like me to
it's a mini roast. A minute and a half.
You tell me a little bit about the person. I'll
verbally give them a kick in the
chops. It's real fun. Cameo
dot com. I make a little video
send it to them. That is it. You guys
think that I'll say it. You're very welcome.
We'll see you back here
tomorrow at the same time. But you people
who are monthly subscribers, I'll see you in a few seconds the same time but you people who are monthly subscribers
i'll see you in a few seconds for your bonus story take care everybody I'm a man I'm a man
I'm a man
I'm a man guitar solo Outro Music