The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hate Hoax in Houston
Episode Date: January 8, 2019CBD: Healthy Or Hype? Bernie Sanders #HimToo? Black Cop Kills Mexican Dog. Â ...
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Nicky, when you asked me if you could come out here, what did I tell you?
I mean, you asked me, and I knew you were going to come out no matter what I said,
but what did I tell you?
Do you remember what I told you?
Back up a fucking minute here.
One minute.
I asked you, when the fuck did I ever ask you if I could come out here?
Get this through your head, you.
Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you.
You only exist out here because of me.
That's the only reason.
Without me, you, personally, every fucking wise guy still around, exist out here because of me that's the only reason without me you personally
every fucking wise guy still around I'll take a piece of your fucking Jew ass
that way you're gonna go you're fucking one don't ever go over my fucking head
again you motherfucker you
Nikki Nikki. Oh yeah, welcome to the show on a Monday. How are you folks?
One of my favorite nights of the year. That's right.
College Football National Championship.
And this episode of the Nick DiPaolo Show is brought to you by,
and it's a great time to have this sponsor,
brought to you by BetDSI.com.
That's B-E-T-D-S-I dot com.
Guys, it's football playoffs, the championship tonight.
What's more fun than putting some cash on the game?
Even if you don't like football, having some cash on the gun makes it a lot more fun,
which is why I like to get in on the action at betdsi.com.
Betdsi.com has over 20 years in business.
Betdsi has built a reputation on fast payment of winnings, and that's true.
They pay quick.
Betdsi is an easy-to-use and fast-playing interface.
Bet games as they go.
You get live in-game wagering options throughout the tournament.
Make plays throughout the entire game and events.
And you can bet on anything.
You can even bet on sports, reality TV, anything.
And you can deposit, cash out, and TV, anything. And you can deposit,
cash out,
and get paid quick.
So go to betdsi.com,
use promo code Nick100
so they know that we sent you.
You get paid quickly
or up to $1,000.
It'll give you a 50% bonus
on your initial deposit.
That comes with a rollover acquired,
but the thousand dollars deposit
will give you 1500 bucks to play with so once again that's bet dsi.com promo code nick 100
and uh here's my picks and this is a great site this this is uh probably the most popular one
out there because it's so easy to use uh here's my picks for the playoffs in the NFL going forward.
I like the Colts plus the three.
They are on fire right now,
and I think they're going to shock the Chiefs.
I like the Rams to cover against the Cowboys.
I like the Patriots.
How can you bet against the Pats at Gillette in January?
They're minus three.
I take them over the Chargers.
And finally, I think the Saints
are going to smoke the Eagles. The Saints are minus four and a half. So I like them to cover.
And tonight, BetDSI has a Clemson. They are plus six. So Alabama favored by six.
I like Clemson to cover. I think it's going to be 38-35 Alabama,
but Clemson covers with the plus six.
And again, go to betdsi.com,
use promo code NICK100 so they know that we sent you.
And we thank betdsi.com
for sponsoring the Nick DiPaolo show.
That's going to be a killer game tonight, I think.
You got two 14-0 teams.
Does it get any better than that for the national championship?
We finally have a playoff.
Sure, it's only four teams, but they'll expand it because the money's going to be huge.
You know that.
But let me give you some important tips for this game.
This is the titles up for grabs between these two teams the third time in four years.
These teams split their pair of previous national championship meetings.
Alabama took home the trophy in 2016,
and Clemson earning revenge with an upset the following year.
The Tide and the Tigers battled out again in the college football playoffs last season,
but with less on the line as part of the Sugar Bowl semifinal.
Alabama wound up winning that game in a blowout before going on to claim its fifth title under saban uh odds makers have pegged
alabama at a six-point favorite which is nearly identical spread to each of the previous two
college football playoff national championship showdowns between these two powerhouses majority
of the public is backing the crimson tide to become the first FBS team in over 120 years to finish 15-0.
Currently, 60% of the bets are for the SEC champs.
But the big bettors like Clemson tonight.
So it's not going to get any better.
All these guys you're going to watch tonight on both sides of the ball,
half of them, I swear, probably more than half are going to be in the NFL.
So it doesn't get any better.
And Saban, I think, is going to pass Bear Bryant if he wins this one as far as titles go.
So I cannot wait to put on five pounds while I'm watching this and drinking alcohol.
You make it a Monday, but you make it like a holiday
and you people
who are so in love with the NFL
watch this because these are all the players
that you're going to be loving in a few years
you know who we miss
though for stuff like this
you know who, the great Keith Jackson
the hyperbole is done
now we can finally play the game
look at that
oh my goodness one man, goodbye The hyperbole is done. Now we can finally play the game. Look at that.
Oh, my goodness.
One man.
Goodbye, Joe Haskell.
Intercepted by Teague.
George Teague to the end zone.
Left hand.
We're going to play football.
Yes, sir.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Oh, God bless them.
Real quick, my dates, my tour dates, folks.
You can get these at nickdip.com.
Two nights from now, Wednesday, Fat Black Pussycat in New York City.
Friday, January 11th, that's this Friday, Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York. Saturday, January 12th, that's this Saturday, Fairfield Theatre Company, Fairfield, Connecticut.
Damn, I'm working too much.
Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's, Windsor Locks, Connecticut.
Sunday, January 27th.
That's a couple days after I'm going to be on with Joe Rogan.
Ventura Harbor Comedy Club, Ventura, California.
Friday and Saturday, February 8th and 9th, The Black Box in Boca Raton, Florida.
Friday, March 8th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York.
Saturday, March 9th, Cohoes Hall, Coens Falls, New York. Saturday, March 9th,
Cohoes Hall, Cohoes, New York. I'll be taping an hour. Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem,
Pennsylvania. Friday, May 34th, Jonathan's at Gunkwit, Maine. Saturday, June 1, Whites of Westport,
Westport, Massachusetts. Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania.
August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania.
Saturday, October 19th, Ridgefield Playhouse in Ridgefield, Connecticut.
Go to nickdip.com for all your ticket information.
The number here, 833-599-NICK.
833-599-6425 is the phone number.
How was your weekend?
Okay.
Let's get into a little bit of politics.
We're going to get sillier on the show. I can't hear the phrase fucking the wall one more time
or the fence or the barrier.
It's really, really silly.
Why have a wall or a barrier when you have guns?
I'll say it again.
When you have the strongest military ever.
Who needs a barrier?
Build it out of Legos.
I don't give a shit.
Put some broken glass on the top.
Just line up a bunch of tanks.
Will you get all the homeless people in this country?
Give them guns, okay?
Pay them fucking eight bucks an hour to stand along.
There's at least 70,000 homeless in downtown LA.
Flush them out of their tents.
Give them guns.
I am so tired of talking about it.
And I'm glad that he's holding steady with a shutdown, Trump.
And Pelosi's got her dirty panties in a bunch.
So, you know.
Anyhow.
Let's get on a little political stuff at the beginning.
A Texas Democratic Congresswoman
is defending her earlier comments
suggesting the drive-by shooting
of a seven-year-old, Jasmine Barnes,
may have been a hate crime.
I don't know if you guys heard about this
in Houston at a parking lot somewhere.
There was a shooting.
Seven-year-old girl gets killed.
She's in the car with her sisters
and her mother and stuff.
And, of course, the first description was a white guy in a pickup truck.
And anyways, even though both suspects turned out to be black and not a white individual,
as police and members of the public initially believe,
Rep. Sheila Jackson, I hate white people, Lee.
And she does. And she does. people lee and she does and she does
just like cummings and all the old other black people they just hate whitey they can't help
themselves when asked sunday by a reporter about some of the comments made in the aftermath of the
young girl death in houston on december 30th she said it was absolutely not irresponsible to make
the suggestion that it was a hate crime even even though she turned out to be wrong.
You know, it reminds me of that scene in Jaws with with Quint and Hooper when he says, you know, talks about college boys.
Yeah. You don't know when to admit you are wrong.
Here's the video of Sheila Jackson Lee.
Absolutely not.
Nothing is irresponsible when it comes to the loss of a precious seven or eight years.
First of all, just think about that stupid statement.
Nothing's irresponsible because it was a child that got killed.
Nothing's irresponsible.
So even blaming it, would you feel that way if it was a white girl, seven years old,
and they fingered a black guy incorrectly?
Would you be saying, well, that's, nothing is off the table when it comes to the killing.
The ignorance, we have lowered the standards in this country beyond belief.
She just, she can't just admit you were wrong.
Go ahead.
unbelief. She just, she can't just admit you were wrong. Go ahead.
And as many
in the community did,
they expressed that
it might be, it seems to have
the criteria of that.
Which is why I emphasize that the
intensity of the community is
no less because the perpetrator
has been found to be something other
than. Something other than.
She can't even say it. She can't even say, they can't even mention it be something other than something other than she can't even say it
she can't even say they can't even mention it something other than
a white guy is what she wanted to say by the way she had a hemorrhoid donut on her head that
apparently her did you see the hemorrhoid donut someone weaved for her on her head but but just
admit you were fucking wrong but you know it's not irresponsible to still say it's a hate crime. Make me sick to my stomach. You know what the problem with her is?
You can't handle the truth. Barnes was
shot and killed while sitting in the backseat of her mother's car. Witnessed descriptions of a white
man in his 40s at the scene of the shooting, and a sketch put out by police prompted
widespread speculation. A hate crime had happened. Speculation.
They were hoping on Twitter,
you know, white liberals and some black people hoping, hope and still, still after all the facts are in, still saying, you know how the cops do, you know how they do us people. First it was a
white guy. Now all of a sudden it's a black guy. You know that something don't smell. They were
praying it was a white guy. Sheila Jackson Lee is still uh it's a white guy that's how it is again that's Twitter and social media but
some of the most ignorant comments uh it just I believe in having written hate crime legislation
knowing the criteria I believe that this should be looked at as a hate crime Lee said during a
press conference on Friday and a video posted to the congressman's Facebook page.
We don't want to have on the street someone who's willing to kill children
and possibly kill them in the name of hate.
Can I just say something?
All killing is done in the name of hate.
You're proving why hate crime legislation is so stupid.
It's all done in hate.
When you take somebody's life, of course it's done in fucking
hate, no matter what the color's involved. But we had to, you know, we had to make it so if it is
whitey, you know, and that's who gets charged. I don't look up the percentage. It was designed.
It was designed to prosecute white people. Prior to the arrest, Barnes family lawyer Lee Merritt also said, we do believe that
the murder was racially motivated in part
because our nation at this moment
is highly racially charged.
Oh, at this moment it is. No,
they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
It wasn't racially charged under
Obama when we had Baltimore, we had
Ferguson, we had cops,
five cops gunned down in Dallas
because of Black Lives Matter.
Wasn't racially charged then.
All this shit just started
when the blonde-haired, blue-eyed devil took office.
What an ignorant statement.
Yet both suspects in the case are black.
Police confirmed to the AP on Monday.
One of them, 20-year-old Eric Black Jr.,
has been charged with capital murder and is making
his first court appearance today. News of his arrest emerged Sunday. Moments after police
announced Black was in custody, Merritt wrote, that's the lawyer, in an Instagram post that a
second suspect, Larry Woodruff, 24, also Black, was arrested in the shooting. Woodruff is believed to
be the shooter in the incident, according to Merritt, although police as of Monday have not confirmed the arrest,
his identity or alleged role.
Investigators believe the killing appears
to have been a case of mistaken identity
where the intended targets were likely someone else.
That was said by Ed Gonzalez, the county sheriff.
Okay, but just come out, Sheila Jackson Lee,
and just say, you know what?
I was wrong as far as how existing hate legislation is written.
But of course there's hate.
There's always hate involved when somebody,
oh mama, help me.
Imagine having to say the statement,
we're against any hate that takes a child's life.
Yeah, we're all against that. Thanks for clearing that clearing that up 833 like that needed to be said 833-599-6425 is the phone
number absolutely absolutely crazy and the girls are the ones who id'd what they thought was the
shooter because there was a white guy in a red pickup truck, which is perfect. A white guy in a pickup truck, redneck fucking black hater.
No doubt about it.
But that's what the girls saw.
They were in the car, the victims, okay?
So naturally, that's the last thing they saw.
And they probably believed it.
But the fact that an adult, somebody who represents the people of the United States,
can't come out and say no i was
wrong that's how and and this notion that this racially charged environment all happened when
trump took over it's fucking unbelievable the lie has become the truth for some people
ah christ almighty men shooting into a car. Not sure who.
Really?
You're not sure?
Then there was another Facebook saying this woman,
I don't know if this is true or not,
there was a Facebook post saying this woman,
the mother of the dead child was there to buy drugs,
and one of the suspects, the black suspects,
actually was friends with her on Facebook.
That was on social media. Don't know if it's true or not but uh you know didn't we learn everything after hands up don't shoot the
whole Michael Brown thing that you can't on you can't count on eyewitnesses even lawyers will tell
you that they're the least uh responsible remember during the Michael Brown thing, how many people came forward,
how many black people and said his hands are up and he wasn't doing anything,
which showed to be a total fucking lie. So let's not pretend all this shit started
when Trump took over. Has it been exacerbated, the racial tensions? Maybe because he's a blonde
haired, blue eyed billionaire. Everything that the left fucking hates, a white guy, an older white guy,
can't get us out of the way fast enough.
Anyways, total horseshit.
Let's go to Dave in Los Angeles.
Dave, welcome to the show.
What's going on?
Jake, I agree with everything you're saying, bro.
We're going to change the narrative
about the old white man being the bad guy, the devil.
It's all boogeyman.
Bullshit.
It really is.
It really is.
And to have somebody that's part of Congress, that's what creeps me out.
The whole black caucus.
Every time you see him on TV, it's just outright racism.
Nobody's going to call him on it, but you and I.
And poor black people killing each other
at unbelievable rates, and nobody gets upset about that. And they could not wait to grab this white
guy in a pickup truck, you know, and that's what the girls probably thought they saw. I don't doubt
that, but for her to come out and still say, you know, it's just so tiring, especially when you put in perspective
with black-on-black violence. That's the real outrage, and that's what they should be focusing
on. The, you know, the black family falling apart since the early 60s is at the base of all this,
but we can't talk about that, Dave. That makes us racist, right?
That's right, and the Democrats, you know, got them stuck on this system.
And they're still, you know, majority of them, you know, some are walking away from that, which is great.
But also, you know, the rap community used to write praise songs with Trump in them.
They used to praise Trump.
And then now they're jumping on the bandwagon.
Some of them are, you know, jumping on the bandwagon about, you know, that narrative, man, that narrative.
I tell you, it's got to change. and they're getting brainwashed in schools.
We've got to change the system of these communist, socialist,
liberal professors all over the country.
Did hip-hop people really?
There were songs praising Trump?
I never heard any of them.
I've heard fuck Trump.
Yeah, before he was president.
Yeah, they used to write songs about I want to be Trump,
and I want to, you know, be like Trump. And, you know be like trump and you know now a little different now a little bit you know but
yeah no you you're right it's uh it's a sad situation dave great call thanks buddy uh
oh it really is two different worlds there's only one truth folks but especially when it comes to race or to race is
apparently two truths and um but to see it makes me sick to see sheila jackson lee and cummings and
it's always the same people uh john and houston how crazy are things in houston uh this vigilante
style bullshit this guy sean king whipped up a million follows into a frenzy with no facts.
Very scary being in that situation, Johnson.
John, welcome to the show.
I bet you that's all you see on the news in Houston, right?
Yeah, I mean, it was just like this huge groundswell of, you know,
get whitey, and it's just crazy because the whole thing stank right from the beginning.
You know, and it just seems like you've got two separate Twitters.
You've got black Twitter and white Twitter.
And there's nobody policing black Twitter to say, hey, man, you know,
let's not jump to conclusions. I mean this guy Sean King
He's not gonna lose his blue checkmark for fomenting, you know
Potential riots in Houston. Yeah
Yeah, he's always in the mix at that. I'll say on kink ahead
Also, when are you coming to use it?
also when are you coming to Houston when you
when the gunfire fucking resides
I might
Houston is a great
Houston's a great comedy town
and I haven't been there in a while
I recorded a CD there
and it's a great comedy
I will be there
there's no doubt about it
I'm letting this show build up
we're adding YouTube subscribers
at an alarming rate
thanks to the good work of the twinks and the behind the scenes people I'm letting this show build up. We're adding YouTube subscribers at an alarming rate.
Thanks to the good work of the twinks and the behind-the-scenes people.
And, yeah, I will make it there.
I can promise you that.
I was in Dallas a few months ago and got like a partial standing ovation,
and I didn't even do any marketing for that show.
So I'll see you there in Houston.
Good call, John.
Thanks, buddy.
Yeah, it's a great, great time for me.
I can't wait to go back to Dallas because I did no marketing.
We did that at the last minute
and it was,
they were laughing at the shit
that makes me nervous, that I say.
Anything, they've had enough apparently in Dallas
and a lot of people think that,
that, oh, your ship must fly in the South
and in Atlanta and stuff.
But the one thing that cosmopolitan areas have in common,
I don't care what state it is,
they're kind of PC.
The city areas are kind of,
Atlanta, down South especially,
because they have this complex,
you know, they have known, you know,
Sweet Home Alabama, the old redneck race.
They have this complex, so they get a little touchy,
and it surprises the hell out of me sometimes.
But I haven't played down there in a while,
and so maybe things have changed, you know.
And again, I don't do much of that stuff.
You know, I obviously don't do much of that stuff you know i i it's uh i obviously
don't hide how i vote so but it's so refreshing when i leave new york uh city but the beauty of
like the fat black pussycat on wednesday night those that's a small room it's 75 80 people
they usually are my fans that's usually a killer. Even the middle of Manhattan.
There's always a few who get
their pussy underwear in a bunch.
you know.
Okay, it says Nick in Danvers,
Massachusetts. Is this my dad
calling? What the fuck's going on?
I have to take this one before I move on.
Nick, what's going on?
Hey, Nick. How's it going? What's up? Big fan.
Not much. I was just talking about how, like you said,
how older white billionaires are perceived. Even
if he was saying all this really liberal type stuff, I feel like he wouldn't be where he's at right now
regardless. That's right.
It's embarrassing. it's messed up me you know yeah i watch um when i watch the news on tv and and supposedly you know like even
fox news is supposedly conservative which it's not if you watch it all day there's plenty of
libs on it but they always they never ask this question, the Sean Hannity's or whatever. They always ask the question, why is he hated so much?
Nobody ever says, because he's
an older, rich, white guy.
Nobody ever says that.
No, they can't.
You know, they can't. Like you said, it says right there
who runs it. But also, I saw
True Romance last night. You recommended it
on a few shows ago. Yeah. Great
fucking movie. Wow. What a ago. Yeah. Great fucking movie.
Wow.
What a doozy, huh? Great movie.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Well, thank you so much for taking my call, Nick.
Huge fan.
Keep speaking the truth, my friend.
You got it.
Thanks, man.
I'm guessing that was my hometown.
I don't know.
People give me...
Sure enough, it wasn't my old man.
I'll tell you that much.
But he was way too under control.
833-599-6425, the phone number.
Let's lighten it up a little bit.
People love this subject, too.
Anything me getting high related.
I think Ryan would enjoy this.
He can probably help me out with this.
This guy, Steven Petroro wrote an article in The Washington
Post the headline was is the hype about CBD or cannabidiol it's pronounced eight
different ways okay I listen to it on the is it real the hype CBD or
cannabidiol is most commonly extracted from hemp but it can also come from marijuana plants
I tried this shit
about three weeks ago
I walked into a small cafe in New York City
and the bartender
first thing he says, have you heard about this product?
before I could even ask for a drink
and I'm like, oh here we go
and he pitched me this shit
and
you know, it worked for me i don't know though
i had a couple drinks of me that night so i don't know i'm like is it the cbd or the fucking three
glasses of red wine but uh i only got through about 10 minutes of leave it to beaver so
gee wally nick passed out real real quick this. Is it the shitty writing or was it CBD?
Not sure.
A little rough on the beef last night, weren't you, Ward?
Nah.
Everybody who buys the product comes back and raves about it.
This is Steven Petro in the Washington Post.
Including my mother, he says.
And he says, I must add, including me, he tried the shit.
and he says, I must add, including me, he tried the shit.
Hemp-derived CBD, which contains less than 0.3% THC,
that's the shit that gets you high in weed.
That's not enough to get high, even if I drank the entire bottle,
several experts told Petro.
To date, the Food and Drug Administration has approved only one drug containing CBD, Epidiolex,
for previously uncontrollable
pediatric seizures.
I should try the shit
of my dog.
She's sort of like a baby,
and she has seizures. She had one right in
front of me. Spun around
like a dreidel for fucking ten minutes.
Ever see when a football player, after he scores,
he flips the ball down and spins it?
That's what my dog was doing.
And then I picked it up.
It felt like it was porcelain.
Anyways, the Hemp Business Journal estimates
that the hemp CBD market totaled 190 mil last year
in a category that didn't even exist five years ago.
By 2022, that's what, three years from
now, the Brightfield Group, a cannabis and CBD market research firm, says sales are expected
to reach 22 bill. So somebody hook me up with that stock, if it exists, or the company.
The December passage of the 2018 farm bill will certainly help, he said. The measure amended the term marijuana to exempt hemp as a controlled substance
as long as it contains no more than 0.3% THC.
Donald Abrams, an oncologist, that would be a cancer doctor,
and professor of clinical medicine at University of California, San Francisco.
In fact, he says, we really don't know anything about CBDs.
Oh, don't fucking ruin the fun, doc.
We know it's fucking better for you than cigarettes.
Don't we?
I don't know, which I love too.
Several studies have found CBD to be harmless,
which is to say safe,
but that's very different from proving its effectiveness.
Abrams told me there have been
only five randomized clinical trials that have looked at cbd until the uh epidialect studies
the largest of those studies was a 24 person trial that's it 24 people i see that many on
the sidewalk in new york city before my show fucking people just walking around it's always
skunk weed too i'm so fucking naive i'm such an old man I'm like is there a skunk in the city
that's unusual maybe de Blasio just pulled up the fucking rat bastard um not all states require CBD
manufacturers to accurately label their products with scant regulation consumers should be skeptical
the source matters too since heavy metals or other contaminants have been found in some hemp accurately label their products. With scant regulation, consumers should be skeptical.
The source matters too,
since heavy metals or other contaminants have been found in some hemp grown
in China or Eastern Europe.
Do the Chinese have to put poison in everything?
Fucking heavy metals?
What are they talking about?
Remember China was putting, they painted
toys and it had that rape
drug in the paint.
Remember that?
I told you I used to do a bit about it.
There was a date rape drug.
It was in the paint that the Chinese were painting toys with.
I get busted at a dance club one night.
I was stirring my rum and diet Coke with a Barbie doll.
I'm trying to give it to this girl, Sharon.
And I like this shit.
It made me feel like I had, well, I had a couple glasses of wine,
but it was hours later when I, you know, took this shit.
And it gave me a nice mellow, mellow buzz.
Not a buzz even, just, I don't know.
But I'm going to try it again.
I'm sure there's people out there who can vouch for this shit.
Try it again.
I'm sure there's people out there who can vouch for this shit.
In 2017 study, Marcel Bond Miller, an adjunct assistant professor in the psychiatry department at University of Pennsylvania,
Perlman School of Medicine, said his team found that nearly 70% of CBD products they analyzed were mislabeled.
The recommended serving size on my bottle, the guy who wrote the article,
said of CBD tincture is one milliliter a day. The FDA won't allow CBD producers to make anything,
any marketing claims, which includes recommended doses. Despite these concerns, Ziva Cooper, an associate professor of clinical neurobiology at Columbia, who was doing research
at CBD, says based on animal studies there seems
to be a lot of promise for a number of disease states including its potential effects on
inflammation inflammation I need that I did a boxing workout yesterday I'm walking around like
I'm crippled uh which could make it effective against multiple sclerosis autoimmune disorders
and addiction more important she told me CBD may be therapeutic for ailments
which there aren't any necessarily great medicines.
So anyways, this guy who wrote the article says
it gave him a stable mood.
It leveled him off.
And that's what Lexapro does for me, I think.
I don't know.
I'm always fucking high strung, flying through the ceiling.
Two cups of coffee, it's like doing meth.
So I don't fucking know.
If I kicked out the alcohol for a day and the caffeine,
maybe I could get a better read on this.
But it was a nice mellow buzz.
And you know me with my sleep problems.
I like to hear from somebody who's uh
a regular user of the cbds uh 833-599-6425 is the phone number so i hope the shit uh
again the hemp the hemp stuff only has a tiny speck of thc. The CBD can come from marijuana or from hemp.
And the guy in that article got his shit from Kentucky in a bottle.
And he called up to see if the dosage was right and everything. They said, yeah, there's no heavy metals in it.
The Chinese, the fuck. They find out what we like
over here and they're like, this is how we're going to cancer them.
You'll find out the quarter pound is with cheese
in China.
Everything I touch in my house is made
in China.
The cutting board has heavy metals and rat
poison in it from China.
Ryan,
CBDs? I know you're a
weed guy, right?
On occasion.
On occasion. Not very often. Have you ever done the CBDs? I know you're a weed guy, right? On occasion.
On occasion.
Not very often.
Have you ever done the CBD stuff?
Probably too mellow for you?
No, not the CBD oil.
Yeah.
I can't handle this shit. I've documented my experiences with marijuana on this show several times.
And I ate that fucking edible.
When I say I ate one-eighth of it, a tiny corner of it.
And laid around because somebody told me it would help me with my sleep problems.
And I'm like, this isn't working.
So I got up and took another bite like it was a Snickers bar.
And oh, what a fucking rookie mistake.
I was watching this monitor here downstairs, my TV, my 51 inch or whatever it is.
And I was watching it. All of a sudden, the guy's-inch or whatever it is. And I was watching it.
All of a sudden, the guy's voice sounded a mile away.
And the TV got real tiny.
So I ran upstairs in a panic and did what you should really do.
Another rookie mistake.
Ran into a dark bedroom, and I shut the door.
And I'm staring at the fucking clock, the digital clock, waiting for it to change.
And then I really panicked, and I ran upstairs to my wife. She knew I took it. She goes, how you doing? I go, not too good. I jumped in bed
next to her. And what does she do? She puts on a new heart rerun. This was the weirdest fucking,
I can't handle the THC. She puts on a new heart rerun. I get my hand on hers. She doesn't even feel like my wife.
She feels like a strange woman.
Nothing bad about that.
The house didn't feel like my house.
I was disassociated emotionally with everything.
The house felt like somebody else's house.
Bob Newhart, I felt like I was in the 70s.
I freaked the fuck out.
And the other time I came home drunk after college my first apartment
I went to a dance club
with my buddies I told you this they get all fucked up
I come home drunk I open the refrigerator
there's a pot of spaghetti in there
enough for I'd say five people I finished it on my own
woke up
an hour and a half later my ears
whistling like a train whistle
I hear them come in I hear them
look in the sink and go,
oh, fuck, he ate the whole thing.
And then I threw up.
I threw up.
And then I'm talking to those guys,
and they sound like they're yelling down a hallway a mile away.
I was tripping and fucked.
I was fucked up for over a week.
The Super Bowl came up right after that, over a week later.
And I'm watching the Super Bowl still feeling weird.
So I am scared shit of the fucking weed i can't i can't handle it what happened to the good old shit like cocaine
when you snorted it and danced the night away in those leather pants i'm actually pretty immune
to um edibles they don't really work on some people. They don't work on me. Is that right?
Yeah. Some people, they just
don't process it through their stomach. Maybe you're buying
the wrong ones. Reese's cups don't get you
fucked up, do they? I've baked some
and it just doesn't work.
Maybe you've smoked more pot than you admit.
No, maybe
once every couple of months. I can't
handle it. The next week, I'm hazy.
I can't focus, so I don't do it.
It takes your ambition away.
Even in the 90s when I first, well, I tried it in high school.
It did nothing to me.
I was at a party.
My buddy Scott handed me this wooden pipe.
I go, what's this?
I'm like, this is doing nothing.
I fucking smoked like three bowls and fucking walked.
You know, when I was probably high, I didn't know.
I had about 21 beers in me.
I was in great shape. But then after an an acting class i went to this girl's house with
about four other people in the class and i took a hit of this shit and went to the bank on the
way home to my apartment in new york city and i'm in line at the bank i'm three deep this is chemical
bank they had a digital clock that it's like a fucking deli it tells you when your number comes
up so that i'm waiting the
two people in front of me finally go i'm next i'm staring this old lady my number comes up and i went
out the side door i fucking ran out the bank like a puss i didn't think i could hold a conversation
like she was gonna ask me about fucking stocks and bonds and shit i had 11 to my name
the last time i uh smoked i was also really, really drunk.
Best time ever.
Best.
So high and drunk.
I fought my friend.
In slow motion?
Yes.
So now,
the alcohol probably
is what made the fighting
because you've seen,
you've seen people high.
Everybody's talking about this.
Every comedian trying to get in a fight.
It's like watching two chicks
wrestling
at Jenny Craig. Why would they do that? I don't know.
What do we got here? Holy Christ.
I gotta change my...
John Mazzori says
more fake news. The IRS
will be giving out refunds.
They said they weren't going to.
What's this, John?
Yeah, yeah.
What, I guess the past couple weeks or two, you know, with the whole shutdown thing, you know, the Democrat media was just spewing, oh, you're not going to get your tax refunds because the IRS is closed.
Yes, I heard that.
Well, today the Trump administration came out and said that's a bunch of bullshit. Says they are going to be your tax refunds because the press is closed yes i heard that well today trump administration came out and said that's a bunch of bullshit says they are going to be issuing
refunds has anybody's lives changed out there because the government's been shut down for a
couple weeks now has anybody i see people online uh i'll bring actually i'm going to get to it i
have a i have a snoop dog uh snoop made made a fucking video on Twitter about how he feels about it.
We got that, Chase?
Thanks for the call, John.
Here's a good example of John.
All right.
Appreciate it, buddy.
Snoop came out and gave his, you know, very educated opinion.
I like him when he talks about when the Oscars were too white.
And he's, again, I'm not a big hip hop guy,
but he is my favorite of all the fucking,
you know why?
Because he started a football league
for poor kids in LA and shit.
But he's a fucking former gangbanger.
And if he was born in any other country,
he'd be a fucking janitor and doesn't seem to,
but appreciate this.
And he's not quite as popular as he was,
so he's trying to stay in the news.
And, you know, he fucking be loving some Donald Trump.
This is Snoop talking about the...
I still like this guy, I don't know why.
Talking about the shutdown.
I just want to say this real quick,
not on the political shit.
All you people for the federal government,
that guy not getting paid right now.
Ain't no fucking way in the world y'all can vote for Donald Trump when he come back up again.
If y'all do vote for him, y'all some stupid motherfuckers.
I'm saying that to y'all early.
All you federal government people that's not being paid, that's being treated fucking unfairly right now.
That's so terrible.
And this punk motherfucker don't care.
So I'm saying that to say this.
When the shit get back
on and y'all get your jobs back and it's time to vote don't vote for that please don't look what
he do he just don't give a y'all honest blue-collar hard-working people and suffering
so if he don't care about y'all he he really don't give a fuck about us. So fuck him, too.
And fuck everybody down with Donald Trump.
I said a year, Snoop Dogg, nigga.
Fuck him.
There's something wrong with the black man's mind.
There's something wrong with his mind.
Where's the fucking white rap when Obama was who to be?
Eminem, of course, he's blacker than Snoop fucking mentality wise.
But where the fuck was, you know, somebody saying, fuck Obama, that fucking Marxist fag.
Where the fuck is that rapper?
I'll buy all your shit.
Blue collar.
You're a blue collar worker when you work for the government.
You move like you're underwater. Go to the DMV or the for the government. You move like you're underwater. Go to the
DMV or the fucking post office.
You move like you're paralyzed.
What are you talking about?
You get benefits up the
ass when you retire and the only
thing you do is slow shit down.
Everything should be privatized.
In my opinion.
Hey, I want to go to Mark.
He wants to talk about CBD oil.
And, you know, Dick Cheney pumped a lot of CBD oil in Texas.
Really, they made a movie about it.
Do you see Christian Bale?
I guess he got a fucking People's Choice Award.
And he thanked Satan because he played Dick Cheney.
Another tremendous actor, but just a fucking left-wing loon guzzler of jizz, jizz, jizz.
Mark in Ohio.
What's up, pal?
Hey, how you doing, Nick?
I'm hanging in it.
I was just talking about that CBD oil.
Yeah.
My wife got it.
It came last year, but I was giving it to her.
Yeah.
And it was helping, you know know helping her with pain and stuff and
it worked after she passed sorry to hear that well yeah well i mean it held but
i'm sorry that's all right after she after she passed though i remember somebody telling me that it helps with uh
with like depression and stuff and they're giving it to these guys coming over overseas
too it's helping those guys too and i'm telling you it it really helped me get through my wife
i mean i was married 25 years so you you so you gave it you gave it to her when she was
sick and you took it i gave it to her and i was giving her other stuff because she she was fighting
cancer almost three years she had breast then it went to her brain then then it went came back to
her brain then they gave her like two weeks and i I was giving her that, vitamin B17, some other stuff.
Yeah.
And something else, too.
And, I mean, she lived, they gave her two weeks, but, you know, she lived three months after that.
And then?
But things were happening to her.
She was getting her taste buds back.
No kidding.
This probably, I was giving other stuff to to her but it was really helping her and i
think like that doctor i mean they were charging my wife 45 000 a session for chemo oh you know
they don't want it it's all about money yeah see they can't they can't make money off a natural
plant right right and i'm not a pot smoker dude i i don't but i i do believe
it's a medicine right and i do believe it really helps people and i i take it i sleep like a baby
when i take it and and i my knee used to bother me i have to play football yeah it don't bother
me nor it takes the inflammation out i'm telling you it works and and there and there is probably
good and bad with everything. Right, right.
I'm a true believer of it.
And I've got other people on it, too, that I point them in that direction,
and it's helping them.
Okay.
All right, Mark.
Well, look, sorry to hear about your loss,
and I'm glad it helped your wife while she was suffering,
and then it helped you get over the grieving process.
And I liked it a
little bit that i took it listening to you too helps man i tell you what's that listening to
you helps because i tell you what listening to you helps me too because i think just like you
and you're just a breath of fresh air man i just i appreciate you man well thanks mark and i
appreciate you listening man and uh good luck the rest of the way um yes you can my show is like a cbd oil with no fucking heavy metal ingredients
strictly uh classical here and uh it was a little it came in a little uh just a little
it was about a three inch little tiny skinnier than an eyedropper.
Filled with like a gold liquid.
I put it in a syringe, shot it between my toes.
I learned that from Christopher Maltesanti, and it worked tremendously.
No, you can take it straight.
You can put it in a drink or whatever.
Just take it straight.
I'm going to get some this week, actually.
Maybe I'll get some tonight before the game to relax me.
When I know I'm going to drop seven dimes on Clemson.
Excuse me.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can I slip a super chat in?
Super chat.
Go ahead, Ryan.
Patrick Doris says, Nick, I know you're a big fan of football and sports.
Whose tenure is more impressive, Belichick with the Pats or Saban with Alabama?
Oh, I'll tell you, it's a close one,
but I'll tell you, Bill Belichick
is much more impressive in that way.
Why? I'll tell you why.
Something called free agency.
That's why Belichick is more impressive,
because, Patty, in the NFL,
you don't keep the same players every year.
Matter of fact, they're gone the next year.
And to win that much and win five Super Bowls in the era of free agency
and all the other horse shit where the unions are always behind the players
and everything goes their way, that is incredible.
He has, if you notice, he doesn't have the same team every year.
Saban does.
Saban brings in a recruiting recruiting class and uh and and if they're not getting playing time they transfer
somewhere else but for the most part he grooms these guys Alabama and Clemson football factories
like that they have kids sitting on the bench that were all Americans in high school it's scary
they're like three deep they deep. They'll put the camera
at some guy running back.
He's third on the depth chart.
He had 51 touchdowns
in one season in high school.
It's incredible.
So they, you know,
in college,
you have that consistency.
You groom those players and stuff.
Belichick, you know,
plugs anybody in.
Who ever heard of Mike Vrabel,
you know, before Belichick?
It's crazy.
Brady has been consistent, obviously.
But yeah, I would say Belichick
to answer your question, Pat.
But what Nick Saban done,
that's not to
to minimize what Saban has done.
I mean, Jesus,
I think he passes Bear Bryant tonight
if he wins the championship.
And he's a miserable bastard, isn't he?
Oh, I fucking love when these girls are trying to interview.
I mean, these women, these chicks, these broads are trying to interview him.
What better time to interview a guy, you know,
halftime of a championship game.
Whether you're up or you're down, it's the most, you know,
it's everything that you've been working for the last.
So when the guy missed that field,
what was going through your mind?
What do you think, you
fungus? Remember you had to apologize
to that black woman, Maria
or something. She's kind of pretty, but she's kind of
tranny-like. Got a deep voice and shit.
He just barked at her during
the regular season. He apologized in public
and they have since kissed and made up.
But we caught Ryan went on a date this weekend with an older guy.
And we caught the older guy walking to Ryan's apartment.
Do we have that?
Ryan, how'd it go?
You went to Fuddruckers.
He didn't make it up the stairs.
Can we see that again, please?
The New York Giants drafted a new tight end out of...
Holy shit.
I know it's easy to make...
I'm a comic.
I'm not supposed to make fun of that.
And, you know, people think this transgender thing,
a lot of people say, well, it's a mental illness.
I don't buy into that completely.
But when I see this shit, it makes me...
And how about me?
I was looking at the tits for a good five minutes.
Even knowing it's a fucking guy
with an ass flatter
than a fucking ironing board.
It's Paula Deen.
She's fallen on some hard times.
She lost the belly,
but a guy in his 70s
with tits of a fucking
18-year-old girl.
It's, oh, I just saw Ryan
raise his... Let's see him...
Let's take another look at that in slow motion.
Ordinelli.
He tells the guys to fuck off. They're belly
laughing. Let me hear it with the audio. Listen to how hard
the kids are laughing.
That's it.
They're fucking belly laughing.
Where's he going? To the airport dressed like that?
Guy's got to catch a flight.
Oh, fuck off, he says.
He's got to catch a flight to the Florida Keys.
Oh, my God.
I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm sure that's the wrong thing to do to make fun.
But if you don't find that funny, you're dead inside.
Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da. Hey. the wrong thing to do to make fun, but if you don't find that funny, you're dead inside. Nancy Pelosi says Trump wants to abolish Congress. This fucking broad. I'd sleep with that guy
before I sleep. Not true. I actually find her attractive in her late hundreds. Pelosi says
Trump wants to abolish.
Listen to the leathery nipple.
Nancy Pelosi, again,
the one who always speaks about American values.
Meanwhile, her city,
you literally,
you knee deep in human feces
and dirty needles.
But this is what she had to say
about Trump
and all the other horseshit.
Well, let me first say
that our purpose in the meeting
at the White House
was to
open up government oh that's important from the president that he would like to not only
close government build a wall but also about a congress so thank you what happened is that it
that's all i gave you i I don't think so. Run it again.
Well, let me say,
our purpose in the meeting at the White House
was to open up government.
The impression you get from the president
that he would like to not only close government,
build a wall,
but also abolish Congress.
Abolish Congress.
Uh-oh, retard alert.
Retard alert.
You see her biggest worry?
Her first move as House Speaker again
is to get that government back open
that you guys are missing so badly
because your lives are in fucking hell.
Apparently her and Snoop
are the only ones that feel this fucking way.
That's her first fucking move.
And that would be the worst nightmare, abolishing.
That's actually a good idea. That's a bill Trump
should try to get rid of Congress
with their fucking
their approval ratings are lower
than MSNBC's and the mainstream
media.
Government is the cancer.
Mitch McConnell would disagree with that.
I've been in government for 40 years.
God, is she a fucking nitwit.
Just government is her religion.
House Democrats passed two bills Thursday night
that would separate out Department of Homeland Security funding
so that every other impacted government agency would have funding through the fiscal year. The second bill would
fund the DHS through February. So negotiations over the border would continue the border wall.
Those bills aren't even being considered in the Senate as the president has said he wouldn't
touch them. She says, well, the speaker has awesome powers, but if the president of the
U.S. is against governance,
everybody should be against it.
I'm starting to become a fucking anarchist
and doesn't care whether people's needs are met
or that public employees are paid
or that we can have a legit,
they're going to get paid,
they're going to get paid late,
or we can have a legitimate discussion,
then we have a problem
and we can take it to the American people.
Yeah, please do that, you dick have a problem. And we can take it to the American people. Yeah, please do that, you dicks.
Stop!
Thank you.
Ah, well, Pelosi
talked about getting the public sentiment on
Democrat side. The president continued
to threaten to cut her neck with a dirty
butter knife. No, calling the
Board of Security issue a national emergency.
He's going to call it a national emergency
so he can get military funding to build a wall and go around congress we'll do it trump quit talking about it do it
you know it's a national emergency that the democrats control the house and this douchebag
is back in power that's a national emergency build a wall around her house don't let her out
oh she already has one to protect himself from the
riffraff in northern california trump said uh i may decide a national emergency depending on what
happens over the next few days he said that on sunday morning uh so let's see if he uh he does
it or not what are you fucking waiting for he wants to do it through negotiate why why they
want nothing to do with you and your wall.
And I've said this again about the wall.
Yes, at this point, it's symbolic.
It really is.
Like I said, it's silly.
Why use a wall when you can use a lethal...
Lethal, what's the word I'm looking for, Jason?
Lethal force?
Lethal force.
I gotta try some of the CBD oil
Corey saw the Snoop Dogg thing and wants a comment on it Corey in Atlanta what's going on Corey
hey how you doing Nick good? Good to talk to you,
man. You're my favorite comedian of all time. Thank you, brother. I love you, dude. Keep on
doing what you're doing. I'm trying. I'm going to point out something maybe that hasn't been
pointed out in, I don't know, three years. I think the famous cats are a little out of touch.
When Obama was in the White House, I remember a government shutdown and my government contract getting shut down.
And all I was doing was trying to fix bridge impugnments and shorelines so Hurricane didn't fuck your family over.
But I just don't recall frigging Snoop Dogg and his vignettes after blunt rip talking about that.
Is it just me or is your famous, I wouldn't say colleagues,
but the famous douchebags that rub elbows in some of the circles you rub,
do they even realize that they're out of touch or is it just the drugs?
I don't know, but you make a great point.
It's not even double standards, it's triple standards.
Nobody got upset when Obama did it
everything he did was gold
and like you said
you know
it's the non-essential employees
that aren't getting paid right now
isn't that right?
isn't that how it works Corey?
I mean your contract continues
here's a double kicker
okay you're not getting paid
and they're just telling you
you're not essential
maybe you should have made
better fucking life choices, dickwad.
What do you mean?
Work in the gift shop at the Smithsonian fucking museum?
Man, that's what they're good for.
You know.
You know.
I know.
You know what's going on.
And what's funny is that they play these games on TV.
They're mad at each other.
These big heads, Republicans and Democrats, are out playing golf,
getting hand shambies at their massage parlors.
They ain't fooling nobody.
They can go fuck right off, man.
I'm sorry.
I'm just all amped up and nervous talking to you.
Nah, man, you make great points.
You were exactly right when Obama did it.
Nobody blinked twice
and fucking, they just,
whatever they take,
whatever it is to, you know, they have to do to win.
They're like little kids, there's no
fucking moral compass or whatever
and nobody's fucking hurt by this
and government is the problem.
Thanks, Corey, great call, call back, buddy.
But Snoop's calling them blue collar collar work you know those would be fucking
plumbers and shit you know who cable guys and fucking come people who really those are the
people that i fucking if anybody did anything to their pay they could pay better than lawyers now
you know what i'll tell you why anybody else out there my age know how to fix anything
i'll never forget my septic tank backed up in the front yard.
This was about five years ago.
And it was winter.
There was two feet of snow in my front fucking yard.
And there was a blockage somewhere between the house
or the pipe that runs in my bathroom downstairs
to the front fucking yard.
This guy comes out.
I'll never forget it.
There's two feet of snow.
And it's nighttime.
And I go go there's no
fucking way i wasn't even sure where the opening for the septic tank was in my yard they forgot to
mark it or some shit anyways i go out i felt so bad i'm looking out the window watching this guy
i could see his breath it's like 10 degree i go out with him and and brought him a nice cold beer
and uh i'm standing there watching him he digs the whole fuck he's he's he's got this snake it's
it's linked it's like a bike chain and um but it's all frozen he has to with a he it's all fucked up
because it's frozen it's not working and i and that's what i would acquit i can't even put a
fucking table together or an office chair but he goes in his truck and gets a blowtorch he's
thawing out the fucking snake that he's gonna use
and he was real religious it was very weird and uh fucking he starts snaking that thing in
and snaking it in and for like 20 minutes i go jesus christ how long's the pipe you know
he's looking for a blockage and he goes i i'm telling you something you're gonna see something
come through pretty and i'm kind of snickering going, it ain't going to happen, dude.
Especially since I'm standing here watching.
It ain't going to happen.
I jinx everything.
And he's, his hands are bleeding.
His knuckles are bleeding.
And all of a sudden, sure enough, here comes a fucking wave like a tsunami in Indonesia of my poop.
Never felt so good.
It was like a gravy drain.
It just,
he fucking,
it was something,
he found it.
There was something
blocking the,
well, long story short,
don't put ass wipes
in your toilet.
Apparently they turn it
to paper mache rocks and,
but God damn it,
did he unclog that fucker?
And those are the guys.
I'm like, this guy can fix anything.
So, you know, if they were government workers,
I might, but come on, a fat woman at the post office
was moving like fucking Stephen Hawking's ghost.
I'm not going to get upset.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and
girls.
Let's move on to
Bernie Sanders. Apparently
a lot of sexism
and racism
in the 2016 campaign. I was
too busy to worry about these broads.
I was trying to make the case.
Good old fucking Bernie, Bernie, Bernie.
2016, he's catching flack now.
Kind of a backlash.
They hashtag me two things,
catching up to the old 70-year-old Jewish.
I don't know why this news is breaking now.
We all know why.
It was going on then,
but they couldn't have heard his chances.
Right? MSNBC wouldn't.
There could have been rapes going on at Bernie's camp,
and Rachel Matta would have overlooked it,
thinking that maybe this communist motherless fuck would become president.
Nick, that's a little strong.
Bernie Sanders has been forced to grapple with a lingering fallout
from a sexual harassment
controversy tied to 2016 campaign. The problem has to be dealt with and rectified. Burt Cohen,
a former New Hampshire state senator who served as a Sanders delegate in the 2016 Democratic
Convention. Another top supporter from New Hampshire who asked to remain anonymous
to speak more freely
said that if the controversy
hasn't been quelled,
it's a concern for me.
I'm sure it was abroad.
And the home state
Montpelier Times-Argus newspaper
just published a blistering editorial
that began,
Bernie Sanders should not run for president
in 2020.
In fact, we beg him not to.
You know that chick had a mustache
and an 18-inch neck.
Oh, Nick, why do you say that?
I don't know.
Allegations of sexism briefly surfaced
during the 2016 White House bid
for Sanders. Some of his young white
male supporters who went online
to aggressively attack Hillary Clinton
and her followers were pejoratively
labeled Bernie bros.
See, you're a white guy. Even when
you're working for a fucking socialist
slash communist,
you're not immune
to this type of shit, because you're a white guy.
Bernie bros. Yet the
stories didn't seriously impact his bid for
Democratic nomination. You know why? The mainstream
media didn't run with it. Because they
know it might have hurt his chances, you phony
fucks.
And this was well before the hashtag me too movement reports of the controversy surfaced after former staffers and supporters shared stories in recent weeks through email and online
comments of sexual harassment and pay disparity for women during the 2016 campaign some sanders
supporters questioned why some former staffers were making the stories known now.
Yeah, exactly my first guess.
More than three years after the fact.
We all know why.
Sanders in an interview on CNN on Wednesday said this.
In terms of addressing the needs that I'm hearing from now,
that women felt disrespected, that there was sexual harassment,
which was not dealt with as effectively as possible. So I certainly apologize to any woman who felt that she was not treated appropriately. And of
course, if I run, we will do better next time. We will do better next time. I did not realize
our tits were being grabbed. The asses were being bunched. I was too busy wrestling a thick-inkled
dog face. The thing was rigged. Let's not forget Donna Brazile had the questions before the debate.
And so what?
A few girls got their asses grabbed.
We will do better next time. We will do better.
Better.
Does anybody have a comb?
This fucking hair on the left side of my
head keeps flying out. It's been there
since 2016.
It looks like somebody rubbed a balloon against
my skull. And my tongue
keeps doing this.
I am not a Yorkshire my skull. And my tongue keeps doing this.
I am not a Yorkshire Terrier.
I show you.
Ah!
Got myself in the eye, everybody.
Fuck.
My retina is on the end of my glasses.
Goodness.
God fucking damn it.
I'd rather arthritis in my ass than these fucking glasses.
I was busy running around the country trying to make the case.
That answer was criticized by some political pundits.
No shit.
While the Democratic Party is singularly focused on ousting Trump from the White House, it's also a party celebrating a freshman class in congress that increasingly female and
diverse that too could be an obstacle for sanders an older white male can you imagine just saying
you know what the democrat party's getting a little too black and a little too old the maxine
waters uh the fucking sandra what was her name fucking Fucking Jackson Lee. Sheila Jackson Lee.
The Cummings.
They're old and black and they hate white people.
And that's the problem.
Somebody fucking say it.
Black caucus.
Why do we have colored caucus?
Why do we have any kind of caucus?
How about all being people?
Ah, that's silly.
Anyways, his campaign was perceived as too white and
too male. And to that I say, fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!
The Democrat Party, it is too female, too colored, too Asian, two Indian American. I want old crusty white fox.
Nice tie.
It blends in like a fucking soldier
hiding in a tree fort somewhere.
Here's a story that tickled my funny bone.
It's a funny video,
but also I want to make a bigger point
after we watch the video. I have a funny video, but also I want to make a bigger point after we watch the
video. I have many
cop friends, male cop friends, and
that's not because I don't like, I just don't know any
too many women cops.
But if I keep driving at 120
on the Sprainbrook, I'm sure I'll meet some.
But
take a look at this video.
Guy's name is Jerry.
Just watch the video
you're gonna get a charge
audio
Boy, that female cop's doing a great job.
Not to be sexist, but I'm just saying.
Look at his ass is hanging out.
We have to blur that?
I'd like to see that.
Literally making an ass of himself.
Oh! You're going to get in trouble. You you're gonna get in trouble Jerry your
ass is hanging out
how come we can't hear the broad? That was the funny part. Don't do it! Karen, don't do it!
Oh, God.
I feel bad for those cops,
because if you can't handle a guy like that,
who's obviously inebriated,
his pants are hanging off his fucking,
he can hardly walk,
and he fucking out-muscles you,
and not to turn,
I'm hearing a,
oh, it was,
those walkie-talkies,
when you do that,
there's a buzzing.
We're going to have to play with that later.
You know, anyways, that, you know anyways um that you're gonna now again i don't care you call me a sexist massager you're gonna
tell me if it was two male cops that guy would have got away look me in the fucking eye right
here look me in the eye look me in the eye and tell me that that male cop would have not been
better off with another fucking guy there not saying uh women cops can't do the job. Yes, I am. And seriously, just on
body weight alone, the guy's going to weigh 100 pounds more than her. They could have sat on the
guy's chest. Again, I hear this from other cops. They say it's a deep, dark, dirty secret. And
I'm sure there's statistics to back it up.
But how embarrassing that that guy got away.
What if he was a 6'6", 270-pound brother fresh out of the pen?
Why?
Got to be a brother.
Okay, an old Asian woman in her late 70s who does steroids.
Either way, two guys would have fucking choked that guy out.
Am I wrong?
I could be.
I don't know.
But I'm just saying on body weight alone,
the guy wouldn't have got away.
That's all my point to that.
But that fucking drunken slob takes off in the car.
I felt so embarrassed with a cop running down the street.
But the funny part of the video,
we couldn't hear the audio of his fucking nagging wife going,
Jerry, stop it jerry
you're gonna get a ticket they're gonna put put that on your permanent record jerry your ass is
hanging out jerry you didn't wipe your ass you're making jerry you're gonna get in trouble now we
know why this guy drinks a quart of fucking whiskey before breakfast every day and he's stealing cop cars that was a pretty sexist take on the whole thing i'm just uh calling it the way
i see it and that woman's voice is going through me like a fucking dirty fucking butter knife
nice going jerry we have to follow up on that he's probably still driving driving. Let's stay on the cop thing, shall we? Did you see this one? This was fucking
disturbing to me. Excuse me. Jerry, what are you doing? You're hitting the cop, Jerry.
Did you see this one? A police officer in Arkansas was videotaped shooting and wounding a small dog while on duty.
He was fired Saturday after actions that fell short of standards of the department.
Really?
Your standards say you can't shoot a little puppy in the face?
What kind of faggy police work?
Can you fucking imagine?
He shoots a little fucking dog and he's on camera.
Don't you move, you motherfucker.
I'll blow your brains out.
Faulkner County Sheriff Tim Riles said in a Facebook post that Deputy Kenan Wallace,
a black cop, an African-American cop, a canine handler,
fired his service weapon Friday and injured an animal while in close proximity to a person.
I believe there were numerous opportunities to de-escalate the incident, Riles has said.
The shooting took place after Wallace responded to a call of an aggressive dog at Shiloh Estate subdivision in Conway,
located about 30 miles north of Little Rock.
Here's the video, and it is fucking, it is disturbing. Not as
disturbing as the guy breaking his ankle
in the NFL.
By the way, I'm
anesthetized. I'm
desensitized to that shit. I've seen three
gruesome, three or four this year between
college and, I don't even blink
now. Do you see the guy's foot going the wrong way?
That is, somebody should spin it back the other way.
But here's the cop shooting the fucking dog foot going the wrong way? That is. Somebody should spin it back the other way. But here's the
cop shooting the fucking dog. What a moron
this guy is.
Dog?
No, I don't have to step
out there.
Okay, I'm going to come to you.
The dog is aggressive. I'm going to shoot.
Yeah, like she was about to do.
Pointing a gun at my
house. Okay okay that's why
you see guys acting right now you can ask that neighbor right there these dogs hold it
we can't tell the color of the the guy that the cop's talking to in the house did he but he just
said the n-word did you hear him just say that he goes you can talk to that and over there uh so i'm
assuming the guy that the cop is talking to is black too unless arkansas is really that
should we start it again can we play it again jay you said neighbor let's start it oh you
you might be right maybe i'm psychotic go ahead you might be right. Maybe I'm psychotic. Go ahead. You might be right.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're fucking kidding me.
Guys, guys.
Start it, guys.
Pause.
Now we just missed the best part.
Go back to the beginning.
Thank you. No, I don't have to step out there. Okay. I'm going to come to you.
Yeah. Like she was about to do pointing a gun at my house. Okay. That's why
you see exactly right now. You can ask that neighbor right there.
Do you want to step to the road?
No, I don't want to step to the road.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Are you fucking kidding me?
You're fucking kidding me.
I told you.
I'm going to contact the sheriff.
Thank you.
I'm sorry, I didn't hear him in just a second.
Thank you.
Stay right here. Get off my fucking property.
You better get off my goddamn property.
I'm telling you, stay right here.
Will you call my attorney?
Call whoever you need.
I'm not talking to you.
I don't have to talk to you.
Stay right here.
And I'm especially not talking to him.
That'll be fine.
Who do you need to talk to?
I'm talking to the sheriff.
I'm going to get my attorney involved. And I'm not answering any questions.
Okay.
So, I'm going to explain to you.
I'm recording you right now.
That's fine.
I just recorded you shooting that dog.
That's fine.
And I told you.
In front of me.
I told you.
Putting me in danger.
No, didn't.
Shot hit the dog.
What I aimed at.
Did you see that?
And I told you to step to the road because if he got aggressive to me, I'd shoot.
I'm on my property.
I don't have to do what you're telling me to.
Okay.
That's how your dog got shot.
That's not my dog. That's not my dog., I'd shoot you. I'm on my property. I don't have to do what you tell me to.
That's how your dog got shot.
That's not my dog.
Okay.
Fucking idiot.
You just told me it was your dog.
No, I did not.
I have it on recording, bud.
Exactly.
I said you just shot that dog in front of me, putting me in danger.
That's my dog.
I'm not talking to you, man.
You're talking to me right now.
I'm not asking you questions. is didn't ask you anything all right what a fucking punk
it's complicated is this a hate crime because the dog was a chawaahua. That makes it Mexican. The cop is black. It gets a little muddy here.
Is that it?
What a fucking punk.
Shoots the dog.
By the way, that little chihuahua survived.
Shattered the dog's jaw.
But did you hear that?
That guy was drunk with fucking power.
And I couldn't fucking believe that.
So he was fired
because again,
it didn't meet the standards of,
but Jesus Christ did that guy
make me angry.
If I could, I'd grab this microphone
and I'd beat your brains out with it
because that's what she deserves.
That's what she deserves.
Shooting took place after wallace responded to a call of an aggressive dog i already said that
uh kennedy who that's the guy who the cop was talking who recorded the shooting
told the arkansas paper the gazette he uh rescued reese that's a little dog so it is his dog he
said it wasn't. After moving to the
Shiloh Estates area three years ago.
Unless the neighbor filmed it. I'm a little
confused. The dog has since been taken to a
veterinarian and underwent surgery after suffering a
shattered jaw. Sheriff Tim Riles said
it does not appear that the deputy violated
any state law or agency policy.
Really? Fucking
Arkansas. But he
will refer the investigation to the prosecuting attorney's
office of further view he says I hold my deputies to the highest of standards to protect and serve
the residents of our community unfortunately a deputy fell short to those standards I guess
the hell so but did you hear him fucking now he's talking to the guy oh you're still talking to me
just a kind of a punk that part bothered me just as much.
Oh, you shot a little dog in the face.
Yes.
Anybody vetting these fucking cops?
He just happened to be a black cop, I'm not saying.
But why would you fucking shoot a dog in the face like that?
Such a small dog.
How is that a threat?
Would you feel better if it was a German shepherd
sitting there? No, you're right. I mean, you could have kicked it over the car. Oh, for Christ's sake.
I chased a dog, I told you. I was selling food door to door. I've told this story before. And I'm at
this lady's house in Rhode Island. All of a sudden, this little shih tzu or something comes around the
corner. I'm talking to her. All of a sudden I feel... I'm wearing Nike nylon sneakers. Very popular
back in the day. And all of a sudden I see blood
coming through like my... I look down
and this dog looks up at me with broken teeth.
I'll never forget. It had these little fucking
busted off teeth. So I start chasing
the dog around this lady's house.
I wanted to fucking mash it.
I'm running around the house. I come to the front.
I look up in the picture window. She's looking outside laughing at me the lady is i'm chasing turns out it wasn't
her dog it was the neighbor's dog bit through my goddamn sneaker i was trying to kill the thing
um i wouldn't unshot it though i don't know if i had a gun i could have beat it with a frozen
pork chop i guess but But it smarted.
But what a punk.
Drunk on power.
And the way he was even talking to the guy in the house, you know.
Guy's like, I'm not talking to you.
Are you still talking to me?
But he gone.
Anyhow.
God, I've never been so angry in my life.
Why is that, though, Ryan?
That's so typical of a guy who would vote Cuomo and who's a little confused sexually
that that bothers you more than some of the other shit
I've shown, unarmed black men being shot.
Why do you put the dogs above?
The dog doesn't hurt nobody.
The dog doesn't even have a brain.
It's a stupid, happy animal.
First of all, you don't know that.
That dog could have fucking bitten many people.
You don't know that.
But no, I see your point but but don't become one of those
you know i i see those uh aspca commercials late at night with a you know dog i can't watch this
i watch them and i belly laugh i can't believe how funny these people are no it it really is
sad shit it it i actually sometimes i change the channel too. But the point being, I feel sad for a few minutes when I'm watching those commercials.
And then I go, you know, I'm like, well, thank God there's somebody out there trying to take care of it.
Then I go, wait a minute.
Right now there's a fucking kid being fucking raped by three people in an apartment somewhere.
Why don't you put your energies towards that?
Well, can't we do both?
Well, yes.
But I'm just saying, pam anderson she's always
you know big on the animal cruelty but i'm sorry there's a pecking order and i'm not a religious
guy but i really believe there's a pecking order and we are a little above fucking chihuahuas but
that was absolutely horrible i understand my pecking order is technology dogs people if you
break a computer oh my god God, am I so angry.
Are you really?
Drop your mouse.
Really?
I value technology over people.
Well, a mouse is an animal in a way
with a fucking wheel on its back.
That's so fucking funny that...
That's a real lefty right there.
He puts technology ahead of animals?
It would bother you more
if I fucking broke your computer
than kicking a dog in the face?
Yeah, I paid money for that fucking computer. computer oh now we're getting to the fucking now he's a capitalist i can't my my technology all right i gotta take one last call this guy's been on
a whole for i just saw it at the top of the screen there before i uh get going uh matt in san diego
matt what's going on welcome to the show you have the final call of the day
hi Nick how are you pretty good good good I'm here on the San Diego Mexico border have you
ever been to Mexico Nick I have not you haven't I haven't i'm sitting here with you i'm sitting here with two children uh
what's your names nikito and what's your nick nick edgaro nick edgaro and uh they're they're
headed to upstate new york to look for their father seriously seriously okay yeah yes yes okay Seriously? Okay. Yes. Yes. Okay.
Okay.
Yes.
Supposedly, he's a comedian.
He's a comedian.
And upstate New York.
Okay.
You're fucking killing me, Matt. Oh, God makito i like makito you've got to get mad
you've got to say i'm a human being god damn it my life has value
my life has value if you don't believe it that's the smuggler
yeah all right anything else matt i'll see you in San Diego.
That's it, Nick.
All right, buddy.
See you.
I think I'm doing the Comedy Palace.
Don't quote me yet.
On the Friday night.
I do Rogan on Friday that morning.
That night, I think the Comedy Palace in San Diego.
I'm pretty sure.
I don't have a link yet, but we'll work on that.
Hell, it's only 11 minutes away, but why rush it?
That is it, folks.
God damn it, thank you.
You know, we do the show live on Facebook.
Did Facebook work today?
Please tell me yes.
We'll do it live!
Fuck it!
Beautiful.
Do it live!
So I want you guys to enjoy the game tonight.
I want all of you to enjoy your cake.
So, enjoy.
I had a lot of fun today.
I took a power nap.
I think I might have, uh, I don't
know. I might have, uh,
what's that kissing disease you get in high school?
Mononucleosis? Cooties?
I'm talking about kissing girls' mouths, Ryan.
Not zebra's balls.
Okay. Um,
cooties.
I think I either have insomnia or AIDS Does AIDS make you very tired?
That's it
Anything else? Superchats?
Is it narcolepsy?
That's when you get excited
That's not going to happen on this show
I got one superchat
Brian Stugless says
I heard it was Trump who took off in that truck
Are we going back to the first story I did an hour and 20 minutes ago? Yeah Vince Douglas says, I heard it was Trump who took off in that truck.
Are we going back to the first story I did an hour and 20 minutes ago?
Yeah.
Thanks for bringing it up.
Yeah, they will be pinning it on Trump.
You're actually right.
Pelosi will be like, he doesn't want to let brown people into the country. And when he sees one, he gets in his truck and he shoots him and takes off.
Leathery nipple dope that is it everybody uh thank you so much for tuning in nickdip.com for all my
tour information i'll see you guys that live in this area wednesday night the fat black
pussycat in new york city love you all and uh remember you think it i will say it
Remember, you think it, I will say it.
You're welcome.
Enjoy the game tonight.
Bye-bye, everybody. Bye.