The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hey Pelosi, Schumer, STFU and Build that Wall
Episode Date: December 27, 2018Silly Tillie vs. Gentle Ben. Creepy Kevin’s Christmas Vid. Band 17 Down to One. ‘Twas the Day After Christmas When All Through the House And Senate....
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Thank you. Oh yeah!
Welcome to the big show everybody.
On a Wednesday, how are you?
Day after Christmas, how you doing?
Alright, 833-599-NICK, 833-599-6425 is the phone number.
I can't breathe.
Wife made lasagna, two plates of it.
Thought we were going somewhere and decided not to.
And I've been living on alternating lasagna with coconut cream pie.
I'm not cheating you, 48 hours.
I'll have like two plates of lasagna, two pieces of pie,
wait about four hours, two plates of lasagna.
That's been going on for, it's the South Beach.
I can't even fucking breathe.
So I'll be making fun of fat people, and I throw myself in there.
I can't wait for this shit to go.
January 1st, I am going to lose 20 pounds.
How?
Hepsi.
That's right.
I blew a tattoo artist on Sunset Boulevard last weekend.
What's that got to do with anything?
I don't know.
Anyways, happy holidays.
Look at this.
Look at that.
What is that?
I'll tell you what it is.
Bobby Wheels Ferrucci.
One of our loyal listeners and fans and patrons and whatnot.
Sent this to Nick and Wipe.
Dear Nick, this is sterling silver
toothpick. It's one of the last ones that I had made.
He was a jeweler. He's retired.
It is hand forged and I figured for the
guy with everything,
it might look good clenched between your
teeth as you yell about all the idiots trying
to fuck shit up. And for your lovely
wife, she has them on
a pair of
David Yerman.
David Yerman?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
I go to Jared's place.
My friend told me I didn't want to get my wife for her birthday.
He said, go to Jared's place.
So I gave her a six-inch tuna with pickles and olives.
Wok, wok, wok.
And for your lovely wife, a pair of David German Diamond X 18 carat
yellow gold earrings for her to enjoy
it's better than anything I ever gave her in my life
I send this as some holiday
cheer and I thank you for such a great show
and comic relief through a
sometimes shit ass world
and
and may I also
add the fact that whenever I watch a podcast
bring back all the great memories of my father and uncle
sitting around the Sunday dinner table,
watching football and talking about the world
in pure cynical Italian fashion.
I love it.
P.S. I'm also sending two nutritional bars for the twinks
so that they may start growing some fucking muscles
on their famished-like bodies.
may start growing some fucking muscles on their famished like bodies here's a young marv albert and his uh life partner kevin thanks already yeah it's thanks again for all the laughs i'll
catch you at one of your shows sincerely number one fan in the hudson valley bobby wheels for
russie bobby can't thank you enough that was uh scary generous man and uh
that was a fucking lowly god damn it i'll tell you something these glasses don't make me look
old enough then we have from gay clifford uh one of uh great fans he i played his uh christmas uh Christmas band song last week, right? I got two
CDs
from a gay...
This kid is...
He's very creative.
As those gay people are.
Nick, what are you saying?
I don't know.
Also, he sent me this.
Oh, man.
And I haven't seen this yet.
Robert De Niro and Philip Seymour Hoffman in Flawless.
Philip Seymour Hoffman's playing a woman.
And I might take this in tonight after some bowl games.
Just for a hoot.
Thank you so much.
Dates, real quick.
You can get these at nickdip.com.
Yes. Monday, December 31 at nickdip.com. Yes, huh?
Monday, December 31st, New Year's Eve,
Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York.
Wednesday, January 9th, Fat Black Pussycat, New York City.
Friday, January 11th, Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York.
Saturday, January 12th, Fairfield Theatre Company,
Fairfield, Connecticut.
Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut.
Sunday, January 27th, Ventura's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Sunday, January 27th,
at Ventura Harbor Comedy Club, Ventura, California. I will be on with Joe Rogan that Friday, I think,
which is the 25th, and I'm doing Dave Rubin Show on the 28th. Friday and Saturday, February 8th and
9th, The Black Box in Boca Raton, Florida. Friday, March 8th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York.
Saturday, March 9th, Cohoes Hall, Cohoes, New York.
Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania.
Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's Agunquit, Maine.
Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania.
There's some other ones, but the links aren't up.
It's too early, so I'll just read the ones where the links are up.
Anyways, how you doing, folks?
Last night, 833-599-6425.
Colin Quinn called me yesterday morning and said,
you've got to watch this escape at Dannemora.
You know the story about the two criminals upstate New York
busted out of that prison,
and they used that filthy little ugly hoe that worked there.
They were both having sex with her and whatnot.
And when Colin Quinn tells you something's good,
he's usually right about 21% of the time.
No, he's usually right about 99% of the time
because he's a great writer of scripts himself.
And so I said, yeah, I got to check this out.
And let me tell you, he was so right on the money.
Have you guys watched this?
Un-frigging-believable.
money. Have you guys watched this? Un-friggin-believable. Patricia Arquette plays Lily,
Tilly, I should say. She's the woman who helped these guys break out that worked at the prison tailor shop. Upstate New York. This is like 60 miles from Montreal. Just a cold,
depressing town with nothing to do. And it is so well written directed ben stiller he executive produced
and directed this thing and uh patricia arquette uh you might as well give her the emmy right now
this is as good as acting i have ever seen and uh you're gonna freak out uh you know if you
remember her she's she's been a lot of and benicio del toro plays rich Matz, one of the bad guys.
And Paul Dano plays the other guy, David Sweat, the two guys that broke out.
And I don't know how the fuck, I don't know how they did it.
And that part's all real.
Excuse me.
Put up a picture of Patricia Arquette.
That's her in True Romance.
I think her best role, role in my opinion was she total
piece of ass and every young boy's dream just a cool fucked up chick and true romance if you
haven't seen that you shouldn't be a fan of mine you should be out choreographing some type of uh
faggy dance uh now here's her transformed into tilly? It's in the article.
Guys, when I do an article and there's a picture in it,
just fucking assume.
You know what, Jace?
You can pull it up.
He's getting it.
I was going to, but I'm like, no, he'll know.
You know, it's in the article.
To kill time, we had a super chat before the show even started.
All right, real quick.
Go ahead.
Chanel Julio says, hey, Nick, this is Joe,
one of your newest sunny subscribers
how's your achy breaky stem it's a breaky yet not achy and still a stem unfortunately
that's all i could say about that um what the hell's tilly just they refer to as shaw skank what the fuck's a real name goddamn it's Mitchell that's a pig there
you go that's not her I think that's her as her is it okay well that's what we
wanted anyways what I asked for sorry I'm a little slow it's uh I take a few
days off that's not doing her justice. She actually looks good there.
Fucking, she's, she put on 40 pounds for this role.
And it's incredible.
You're not even going to recognize her.
She's like gross.
She put on 40 pounds.
She's an old wrinkled woman with bad skin.
And wasn't there a picture in the article?
No?
Sometimes I send you guys.
Anyways, the only complaint I have about it,
and once again, the husband is portrayed as almost retarded,
as husbands will be portrayed when it comes out of Hollywood because the feminists have their fingernails into Hollywood
and they approve anything that goes out.
What's your point, Nick?
He probably was dumb. Yeah, he was a moron, but so was she, as Trump would say, a couple of low IQ individuals.
But they made him so retarded and caricature like he's like every white husband in a commercial or
a sitcom, only dumber. He's like Kevin James to the hundredth power in King of Queens. He's that
fucking retarded. And he's got a twitch. And that part, I didn't believe for a second.
I know these are dope in real life.
But the point being, why did they do that?
That way they could almost justify what the woman did.
Because Hollywood has a real problem portraying women in any negative light.
And in this situation, she was blowing guys and fucking guys and helped them escape.
Murderers.
Okay?
So the only way they could justify that is to make the husband even more retarded.
And it's almost like, look, she didn't have a choice.
Look at this guy.
It's almost justifying her behavior.
That's my take on it.
And I know I'm spot on.
Why do I know?
Because I was saying shit like this on Tough Crowd 14 years ago,
and I was dead on.
It almost ruined it for me.
What a cartoonish figure they made the husband to be.
They were both, like I said, semi-retarded,
but they catch the gloominess and the mundane life
living way up there in the middle of nowhere,
that close to the Canadian border with nothing to do.
At one point, he takes her for a big weekend in Plattsburgh
to a fucking War of 1812 museum or some shit.
It's fucking, it is so depressing, this setting,
and it's always gray and snowy and cold,
and they're miserable, and their big night out is going to Wild Wings,
and it's just, Ben Stiller nailed it.
Except for the frigging husband.
And I guarantee you, there was somebody going, oh, no.
You know, he's got to be dumber than that.
I can just hear her voice.
I've met these broads when I lived in L.A.
They give notes for scripts.
They have no sense of humor.
But she was, you know, she's fucking a horrible person.
But, you know, they had to soften it by making him even worse um i watched we watched five episodes in a row last night i i didn't want
to stay up till four i would have watched it a couple more um but they did a great job even the
prison scenes you know how i know it's realistic they actually most of the prisoners in the
background are black and brown yeah even way up. As opposed to most movies you watch.
Watch Shawshank Redemption.
Christ, the prison looks like a Klan rally.
I've never seen that many white guys in one place in my life.
But it is so well acted, so well written.
It is worth your time.
And you get hooked immediately.
It's based on a true story.
I can't believe guys would have the optimism.
They find, they find that some piping and air conditioning,
duct work like behind one of the cells,
but it's miles before they can fucking cut through it.
And they're using a little, little hacksaws that she snuck in
in a package of frozen hamburger.
I'm telling you.
And then I, there's an article today that the headline was,
Ben Stiller fires back after, this is what they call a Shawskank.
Ben Stiller fires back after Shawskank calls him a liar.
He's lying.
But Ben Stiller has a message for Joyce and Tilly Mitchell,
a.k.a. the Shawskank,
following her claims that his shit,
shit,
that his hit Showtime miniseries,
Escape at Dannemore,
is filled with lies.
And he says,
it's not a documentary,
explains Still,
about Mitchell's jailhouse assessment to the Post on Sunday.
We did have to create scenes based on us
inferring what we believed to be the truth.
And I follow this story, and they seem to be nailing it.
My guideline was always to try and tell
what I thought happened still added.
This was a story I wanted to tell
in as full a way as possible
and really tried to take into account
the context of the world that everyone was living in.
I was just trying to tell the story
in as real and hopefully as entertaining way as possible
without exploiting.
Mitchell, that would be Tilly, 54,
blasted Stiller during her post-interview
last week at Bedford Hills
Correctional Facility in West Desk, where she's
currently serving a seven-year sentence
for the 2015 prison break that was the
basis for her escape at Dannemore.
For portraying her
as a lovesick prison seamstress.
Stiller directs the Showtime series,
and there are several scenes showing Mitchell
having consensual sex with convicted killers
David Sweat and Richard Matt,
who are at the center of the three-week manhunt.
She says, I never had sex with them.
Ben Stiller is a son of a bitch liar.
A son of a, son of a bitch liar.
He's lying.
Asked about her claims,
Stiller told Deadline he was sorry she feels that way
and he might punch her in her throat.
No, he didn't.
Look.
Excuse me.
Look, that's the story Mitchell has always told,
Stiller said, noting how the Dan Moore production team,
is it Dan Moore or Dan Moore?
I don't know.
Did a year's worth of research on the project.
We got as much information as we could from the police reports, the interviews,
and then we put together our own story, still,
as we think it is a real representation of what went on.
She can dispute it, but the reality is
she was kicked out of the tailor shop
for inappropriate conduct,
for going in the back room with David Sweat.
I think there was 60 or 70 notes passed back and forth between them.
She sent him nude pictures of herself.
There are all sorts of things to indicate there was a relationship going on.
That's where we got that from.
And yeah, I mean, the sex scenes are so awkward and shit because look at her.
Yeah, put that up again.
That was fucking perfect.
I can't even tell if that's the real one or that's that's our cat that's i that's i think that's the real one how do you know how would you know you emaciated puss
no seriously i want to know how you know that. Because this is Arquette.
Yeah.
She looks the same in every... Oh, my God.
That's the whole idea.
That's what she looks like in the fucking movie.
That is what she looks like in the movie.
I think that's her.
I swear to God.
I don't even know anymore.
It doesn't even say...
I know.
That's how good a job they did.
But anyways, I'm just... the bottom line is watch it.
You'll be sucked in in a second.
I'm not going to talk smack, so you can get rid of him about the Patriots and Jaguars.
Don't call and tell me what to talk about.
Especially when it's irrelevant to the goddamn conversation.
Tell him to find something else and I'll talk about it.
Anyways, let's get on with it, shall we?
Oh, this is good news for the Republicans, I think.
2020 vision, this is the headline.
Hillary Christmas message includes photo from White House.
Hillary is dreaming of another run, apparently, maybe.
Do you fucking believe it?
Don't we have a picture of Hillary?
No?
Did I send this to the wrong show?
Ah, fuck it.
Here she is.
I should talk.
I weigh about the cinema.
How do you like to hear this for four or eight years?
Please shoot that thing.
Shoot that fucking thing.
Okay, money?
She sent out a tweet with a picture.
Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating today.
She tweeted along with a photo of Bill about to embrace a woman.
It says presumably Chelsea.
Yeah, you better presume probably the fucking maid who made the ornaments on the tree from
ecuador they got her chained to a radiator feeding her alpo uh clinton has left the door open that's
a big door to leave open i'll tell you it's like double doors open to a potential get this third
run for the white house. A third fucking run.
No, no, no.
We can't have it.
Run through a motherfucker face.
That was her quote.
In October, Hillary admitted, I'd like to be president.
Here's the video of this fucking.
Look at that giant head.
Do you want to run again?
No.
Wait.
No.
Well, I'd like to run again? No. Wait. No. So pause.
Well, I'd like to be president.
Okay. Okay.
Look, I think, hopefully, when we have a Democrat in the Oval Office in January of 2021,
there's going to be so much work to be done.
I mean, we have confused everybody in the world, including ourselves.
And we have confused our friends and our enemies.
Pause.
How?
Who's confused?
Because every...
Obama didn't confuse the whole fuck
our allies and enemies.
He went around and sucked ass
and apologized for the United States.
That was his first thing.
Then he tried to be their friends.
And then he pulled... He drew a red line in the sand. He fucked that up. Led to your demise, Benghazi. But we're
confused now? It's just the opposite. Trump came in and said, hey, motherfuckers, we've been paying
for your defense over in Europe and NATO. You got to start pitching in. And by the way, from here on
in, it's America first. How the fuck could be?
Where's the confusion?
They don't like it.
That's different.
You thick ankle dog face with fucking hands like a monster.
Where's the confusion?
You confused it.
You liberal jerk off American hating pieces of garbage.
You confused it.
There's no confusion.
Fucking NATO knows right where they stand they better pitch in
and the people at the un or fucking get off get off the fucking boat we're not helping you and
by the way you can't come pouring into our country unfettered now i think he cleared up where he
stands there what confusion you titless wonder seriously you are deranged nobody wants you including your own party please run i'm sending
you 25 dollars tonight in government cheese and you can stick it up your ass
why did i take it that way i had a good point
confusion our allies are confused yeah right they are confused china's going holy shit trump knows
what he's doing with the economy.
They're going to smoke us.
We better start stealing some more
like we did when Obama
was in office.
Fucking confusion.
Deep state mean anything?
You fucking sausage eater.
I got something right here.
Bobby, look at this.
Piece of Brijol
from last Christmas.
Not this past year.
I'm talking a year ago.
I love this thing. I wish I a year ago. I love this thing.
I wish I was a badass.
I'll bite down on one of my fake teeth.
It'll come out.
That's real silver.
Hello, I'm William Devane.
Clinton went on to tout her credentials
to prove what, go ahead.
I think there's more.
Here what the United States stands for,
what we're likely to do, what we think is important. So the work would be work I think there's more. Break your fat back. Oh, I have no idea, Cara, but I'm going to, you know, I'm not going to even think about it until we get through this November 6th election
about what's going to happen after that.
Yeah, ready?
Run through a motherfucker face.
The interviewer, Billy, went, I don't know what you're thinking.
I mean, you guys love me.
I can tell you don't like my wife that much, but this dumb bitch is a glutton for punishment.
I'll tell you that much.
It's curious why Hillary Clinton's name isn't in the mix,
either conversationally or in formal polling,
as a 2020 candidate, Raines, said.
Philippe Raines, that's one of her guys that worked for her.
She's younger than Donald Trump by a year.
Ooh, that's by a whole year.
She's younger than Trump,
yet she can't speak more than a minute
without spitting up blood
and she had a shit stain in her pantsuit
for half the fucking campaign.
But she's younger by a year.
She lives on heavy cream
and fucking bonbons.
She's younger than Joe Biden
by four years.
Is it that she's run before?
This would be Bernie Sanders' second time
and Biden's third time.
Is it a lack of support?
She had 65 million people vote for her.
Yes, and 64 million of them were in New York and L.A.
Oh!
So you run, Hillary.
You go, girl.
You go.
You go to the gym.
Do some deep knee bend, you big cheese eater.
It's Christmas time in the gym. Do some deep knee bench, you big cheese eater. It's Christmas time in the city.
You ain't getting shit.
You ain't getting shit.
No, you ain't getting dick.
That's right.
You ain't getting dick from me, Ma.
How do you like that?
You ain't getting shit for Christmas.
I know what you did.
You're a damn...
Walmart Santa,
Elwyn Crocker,
is that not a southern
redneck serial killer's name,
charged after kids are found
in his yard?
You thought they were afraid
of Santa before.
When do the kids read this online
after they're looking at porn
at age six?
A Walmart Santa was busted in connection with the deaths of his two kids.
There he is.
And personally, Patton Oswalt, that's what you're going to look like, I'd say, in about 20 years.
Go back to Crocker.
Well, you guys are a little rusty yourselves.
That's fucking Patton Oswalt or his dad.
Look at him.
He's got the same show.
That picture's no good because that's the best picture Patton Oswalt ever took.
That's Patton Oswalt.
No, Patton, I'm not saying you do this to kids.
Not yet.
The remains of Elwynn Crocker Jr., a 14 a 14 year old who vanished two years ago
and his sister Mary, 14
who was last seen in October
were unearthed in the small farming town
of Guyton last week
deputies searching the home on a tip
were led to the graves
can you imagine
by the kid's dad Elwyn Crocker Sr.
who turned 50 on Christmas.
Ew, he turned,
that's even creepier.
He's a killer and a
Santa Claus, and he was born on Christmas.
Imagine
Christ comes back and it's him.
And until
recently worked as Santa at a store in
Racon. Boy, you guys really vetted
him well.
Yeah, I wouldn't let that guy fucking clean my septic tank.
But let's bring our kids to him and sit on his fucking filthy lap.
He looks like an elf that had AIDS and Hep C.
His wife and the kids' stepmother, Candace Crocker, 33. Her her mother kim wright listen to the dysfunction in this mess who's 50 and wright's boyfriend anthony pratter
55 sounds like a defense event the browns were also called on charges of concealing a death
in child cruelty they remain in uh effingham county jail without bond a third child who has
special needs was found alive in the home.
Well, lucky him.
I'm sure he's getting great care.
What a creepy white fucking Christmas.
Neither Elwynn Jr. nor her sister were officially reported missing.
How they died is still unclear.
The siblings have been enrolled in Effingham County Schools,
but were withdrawn from homeschool before they were last seen.
The family had been reported to the Division of Family and Children's Services in the past, where once again, government dropped the ball.
I'm sorry.
I look at that guy and go, you're creepy.
Are you a dad?
You're coming with me.
Yeah, but there's no evidence.
I don't give a shit.
You have fucking you'll have little you have little kids soap on your breath 833-599-6425 is the goddamn phone number up in here up in here
run through a motherfucker face
anybody see the Kevin Spacey creepy Christmas video that he released that sent made that last guy in that story look sane Spacey always gave me the
willies a little bit just a little bit great actor no doubt about it but now he
sends out this duplicitous video.
You can watch it and, I don't know, it's like the Bible.
Interpret it whatever way you want, whether he's talking about himself and his personal problems or Frank Underwood.
He does it as Frank Underwood, the character that he played on House of Cards, the evil president.
But this is creepy.
On Monday, the same day space he was charged
with sexually assaulting a teen boy in 2016 that's never a good start in a story the actor took to
social media for the first time in more than a year his strange youtube video titled let me be
frank rap racked up a whopping 4.5 million views in 24 hours the os Oscar winner had been, yeah, 3.5.
Those are people he probably touched.
Oh, Nick, you don't know that. I don't.
Just making a joke.
Zach, hold on
the line, buddy. We'll get to your story in a second.
Anyways,
the Oscar winner
has been silenced since October
2017 when Star Trek discovery actor Anthony Rapp
first spoke about allegations against Spacey
but returned with a seasonal splash
clad in a spirited Santa Claus apron.
In the video, which has since swelled to more than 6.4 million views,
Spacey defends himself in character as Frank Underwood.
In the world of the show,
Underwood himself is a sexual assaulter and murderer,
which makes him an odd choice as an avatar for claiming innocence.
The video is about two and a half, three minutes long,
but I think it's interesting because he's in character.
It shows what a great actor he is, but he could be talking about his personal.
He sends out this weird, and then I'll read the allegations.
Sorry, I'm going to weigh in. He's about as innocent as oj was but uh let's let's watch this video he's a frag
i know what you want oh sure they may have tried to separate us,
but what we have is too strong, it's too powerful.
And after all, we shared everything, you and I.
You're fucking crazy.
I told you my deepest, darkest secrets.
I showed you exactly what people are capable of.
No, you did. The FBI did.
I shocked you with my honesty,
but mostly I challenged you and made you think.
About porn you trusted me
Even though you knew you shouldn't
This is actually a little bit so we're not done no matter what anyone says
And besides making a comeback. I know what you want
You want me back?
Of course some believed everything and had just been waiting with bated breath to hear
me confess it all.
They're just dying to have me declare that everything said is true and that I got what
I deserved.
Wouldn't that be easy if it was all so simple?
Only you and I both know it's never that simple, not in politics and not in life. But you wouldn't believe the worst without evidence, would you?
You wouldn't rush to judgments without facts, would you?
We're not rushing. It's been two years.
No, not you. You're smarter than that.
Anyway, all this presumption made for such an unsatisfying ending.
And to think it could have been such a memorable send-off.
I mean, if you and I have learned nothing else
these past years, it's that in life and art,
nothing should be off the table.
We weren't afraid, not of what we said
and not of what we did, and we're still not afraid.
Because I can promise you this.
If I didn't pay the price for the things
we both know I did do,
I'm certainly not gonna pay the price for the things I didn't pay the price for the things we both know I did do, I'm certainly not going to pay the price for the things I didn't do.
Of course, they're going to say I'm being disrespectful, not playing by the rules like I ever played by anyone's rules before.
I never did.
It's fucking great.
And you loved it.
Look at his apron.
Anyhow.
Guilty.
Despite all the poppycock, the animosity, the headlines, the impeachment without a trial, Look at his apron. Guilty.
Guilty. Wait a minute. Good enough. You will know the full truth.
Wait a minute. Somebody's touching my balls under this apron.
Now that I think of it...
It's little Billy.
You never actually saw me die, did you?
I don't know what that means. He left it in somebody's ass.
Conclusions can be so deceiving.
Miss me?
Get out of my room, you sick cunt.
All right, I don't know.
Rumor has it that Jerry Sandusky wrote that script and sent it to him.
He could be talking about Frank Underwood himself.
That's what makes it so weird.
And maybe disrespectful to the victims themselves.
I thought it was going to reveal, like, you know,
when they pull back the camera, like, four kids
and their late teens nude behind them,
drinking cocoa with just Santa hats on.
Shit that Ryan would do, not blink twice.
Am I right, Ryan?
I would be one of the teens.
Yes.
Now he's got a big smile on his face.
You look like you're 14.
Anyways, let's go to Pat real quick.
Sarah Tull wants to talk about this video.
Patty, what's going on?
Thanks for coming out the other night. Yeah, hey, what's going on? Thanks for coming out the other night.
Yeah, hey, what's going on, Nick?
Yeah, I just wanted to say I saw this video Christmas Eve,
and I think it just goes to show how out of touch Hollywood really is
because, I mean, he's out of his mind, even if he's innocent,
to make a video like this.
You know, and these are the people in the industry that are saying that, just he's he's out of his mind even if he's innocent uh to make a video like this uh you
know and these are the people in the industry that are saying that uh you know trump interferes with
investigations or he's just um you know outright narcissistic i don't know how it gets more
narcissistic than this um you know and i just i i thought it was uh really just uh kind of a
pathetic video and you know he was like one of my favorite actors, too.
Yeah, he still is.
But I just, well, I don't understand it.
In Hollywood's defense, I mean, they did boot him from House of Cards
and a whole bunch of other shit.
But I guess there's one project he's still involved with.
I forget the name of it.
But, you know, his agent agent everybody had to drop him so
you know but we'll see they will leave the door open for this something tells me deep down that
they have a soft spot for this guy too but that was that was you're right pat because his brother
said that in an article his brother hates him he said he's my brother's most narcissistic i read it on the show and and pompous fucking arrogant asshole and and and yeah so uh we shall
see uh if he ever resurfaces uh i'm sure a gay guy will get a break before a straight heterosexual
guy who's accused of the hashtag me too um but they got phone calls hey thank hey pat nice meeting you
and your old man by the way i appreciate you coming out hey yeah thanks that guy he he loves
you and loves the show he just he doesn't have a smartphone or a computer really so he can't
can't watch the podcast but he he loves you man he's like uh he's a he's a boston guy himself
yes don't he thinks it's pretty awesome when I take him. Thanks, Pat.
Good call, buddy.
Yeah, they came out to the show.
So, yeah, they put up a hotline.
Remember, he worked at a theater in London,
and right after that, Anthony Rapp came out with that complaint.
But let me just real quick, I'm going to rip through the allegations.
It sort of reminds me of Bill Cosby.
When, you know, 60 women have the same story, I'm pretty sure.
I don't know.
I know it's circumstantial evidence.
But here is what we know.
Other than Anthony Rapp, which was back in October 2017 or 14, whatever.
Here we go.
Here's some of the other allegations.
1983-84, anonymous 14-year-old boy
told New York Magazine in 83 when he was 14,
Spacey was 24, he began a sexual relationship with Spacey
that allegedly culminated in Spacey attempting to rape him.
1985, anonymous 17-year-old boy.
BBC reported on November 1st, 2017,
Spacey allegedly approached an anonymous 17-year-old boy in 1985,
befriending the teen and then ultimately inviting him to visit his home,
where Spacey progressed from being charming and brotherly
to sexually inappropriate.
Well, that's what I did when I was young with girls.
I'd be all charming and opening the door for them
and pulling out their chair for them when they sat down.
And by the end, when they went to sit down,
I'd pull the chair out completely
and bang their head on the floor and I'd laugh.
No, that's totally false.
After rejecting Spacey's initial advances,
the accuser says he woke up to find Spacey's hand on his,
I mean his head on his stomach
and his arms wrapped around him.
Kevin Spacey said he was shown how to form tackle.
I don't believe, no.
The anonymous source described Spacey to the BBC as either very stupid or predator.
1986, Kate Edwards.
Hey, that's abroad.
He must have been really drunk that night.
When London performing arts teacher Kate Edwards was 17, she worked as a production assistant
for the 1986 Broadway revival of
Long Day's Journey Into Night,
in which Spacey starred alongside Jack Clement.
Edwards allegedly BVC'd that Spacey
then 27 invited her up to his flat
for an apparently non-existent party.
We used to do that one too.
Where he kissed her. When it became clear
he wanted sex, she made excuses about
wanting to leave. He became cold and told her to find her own way home.
I did that too.
Guilty.
1988, Justin Dawes.
A man named Justin Dawes told BuzzFeed
that he met a 29-year-old Spacey
through a Connecticut theater
when he was 16 years old, a junior in high school.
Spacey allegedly invited Dawes and a friend to hang out at his apartment
where he served them cocktails and showed gay porn.
I've done that too.
No, I have not.
I have not.
I have not.
I have not.
I have.
Of course you have, you sick bastard.
That's why this is your last day.
Give him his pink slip, and I do mean pink.
Oh, the pie and lasagna is cutting into my fucking belt line.
This has to stop tonight.
Spacey invited Dawes and a friend to hang by,
served him cocktail gay porn,
even though nothing else happened at the time.
The 16-year-old felt like he should have realized Spacey won't.
Yeah, okay.
1995, Mark Ebenhach told BuzzFeed he'd been working as a military advisor on the set of Outbreak,
in which Spacey played a supporting role when one of Spacey's on-set assistants propositioned him on Spacey's behalf.
They asked flat out to engage in a sexual act, Ebenhach alleged.
It was enough to stun me. It blew me away. Bad choice of words.
Ebenhach told BuzzFeed that he rejected the invitation and avoided Spacey for the duration of the production.
1995, anonymous crew member on the film Albino Alligator.
Hey, who couldn't forget Albino Alligator?
Albino Alligator.
A fucking classic.
Albino Alligator.
I got Godfather 1 and 2.
I got Midnight Run.
I got Goodfellas, Braveheart, then Albino Alligator.
It comes in five or six for me.
Albino Alligator.
Let me see.
The Alligator is probably played by Jim Gaffigan, I'm guessing.
The BBC reported that while working on the 95 film Albino Alligator,
which remarks Spacey's film debut the
actor allegedly harassed an anonymous crew member who was 22 years old at the time according to the
crew member spacey initially seemed friendly and took an interest i said spacely mr spacely took
an interest in his career but progressed to creepy behaviors such as giving him an unwanted massage
uh i've never had an unwanted massage on one of of the last days of the shooting, he sat down next
to me, put his thigh against mine,
put his hand on my thigh
and moved it towards my inner thigh.
I felt trapped. I felt harassed.
I felt turned on. No, sexually harassed.
1995
to 2015, at least 20 young men
told the Old Vic Theater, blah, blah, blah.
On November, there's more.
I'm just going to read one more. November 1st, 2017,
Mexican actor Robert Cavazos
discussed past encounters at
the Old Vic with Spacey in a Facebook post
written in Spanish.
Cavazos alleged that Spacey touched him
inappropriately numerous times and said that Spacey
would frequently grope men while hanging out at the Old Vic's
bar. It appears that all that was
needed was a male under the age of 30
for Mr. Spacey to feel free to touch us, Cavazos wrote.
It was so common it turned into a local joke.
And there's more.
So, I don't know.
Guilty!
Nick, you can't do that.
You can't, uh, you can't say shit like that.
I know your son looks like a fag to me.
All right.
Director Tony Montana was the
second person to publicly come forward with an
allegation against Spacey. On Halloween
of 2017, he told the gossip website
Radar Online Spacey physically assaulted him
in 2013 when Montana
was in his 30s. Montana alleged
Spacey approached him in a bar, groped
him, and said, this
designates ownership, as he did so.
I had post traumatic stress disorder
six months after. I tell you, get your fucking hands off my cock, okay? What the fuck? Don't
let me tell you, I said no kids. I tell you, no fucking kids. Well, look at you now, you stupid fuck.
You want to go to fucking war?
I'll take you to war, okay?
That's right.
That was Tony Montana, the director I just did.
Hey, let's slip into a hack bit.
Tony Montana is the director.
And fucking action.
That's way too big, cut.
That's way too fucking big.
You're too big, man. Over the fucking top you're too big man over the fucking top what are you gonna do now okay let's go to zach in pittsburgh zach says i know it's off topic but
he calls and he's one of our loyal listeners i like to tell you a story from over christmas
dinner his 63 old man told him a story about how he got kicked out of a bar. He started a fight about the Patriots.
And not the Patriots of the
war, the actual
Tom Brady Patriots. Zach, I want to
hear this one. Keep it to two minutes,
though, could you? I've got a lot of calls.
Alright,
Nick. Real quick, my parents
had to go up to Boston for a couple days in August.
They get up there, check in
the hotel. Long drive, the old man goes into the bar in the hotel.
I grab a beer and take a six-pack upstairs.
He walks in, doesn't realize he's wearing a Steelers jersey,
and there's a table of four to five people.
And they say, not so silently, oh, my God,
do you believe he came in there and that?
And they start talking all kind of shit.
And he gets a beer beer gets a six-pack
and he eventually walks over he says hey guys the past two times you played us you kicked our ass
what more do you want and i guess they just start doubling down talking shit on roethlisberger
running their mouths and i guess he had enough and he he was 63 goes he looks at him he goes
you know what my two knees are going bad but guess what buddy the rest of my body's good
and then then the bartender jumps over the bar just you gotta get out of here get out of here looks at him and goes, you know what? My two knees are going bad, but guess what, buddy? The rest of my body's good.
And then the bartender jumps over the bar and says,
you've got to get out of here.
Get out of here now.
Where was he exactly?
I know it was the place they're going.
It was like on the west end of Boston.
I mean, I could ask him to put it on Twitter or something.
No, that's all right. But yeah, 63-year-old man got kicked out.
Yeah, people, I'll tell you,
there's nobody immature than hardcore sports fans,
including myself sometimes.
But I'll be on stage.
Zach, you know this as a comic.
I'll be on stage and I'll go,
I'll be talking about a sports story.
It has nothing to do with sports, you know?
Let's say a guy get busted for drugs,
and I go, go you see the
the guy for the cleveland brown fucking broad suck dude i get in a fight i get in a fight
one of my two fights it started off that way and i was doing giggles in boston and saw i guess
outside of boston and i had lived uh i said i live in new york now that was my i come up how
you guys doing i go this is where i'm from there's neck of the woods but i live in New York now. That was my, I come up, how you guys doing? I go, this is where I'm from. There's neck of the woods, but I live in New York now.
Yankees suck.
And I go, okay, cool.
Yankees suck.
I'm still a Red Sox fan.
Anyways, Yankees suck.
Guy wouldn't let me get my first few words out.
So then, you know, I had about six drinks.
I mean, I said, shut your fucking mouth
and your girlfriend's fat and ugly.
And then, you know, ended up with the cops coming
and fucking, it was like an old,
it was like a country western bar.
Five people jumped in.
There was a shelf on the wall.
All these mugs were sliding off and breaking.
It was like a saloon fight from fucking 1886.
All right, tell your old man I love his spirit, man.
All right, will do.
See you, Zach.
By the way, fuck Pittsburgh.
Anyways, they beat us last time.
I couldn't say that because I like Zach.
I don't want to say it right in his ear.
But they won last time.
Jacob in Atlanta wants to talk about Kevin Spacey.
Jacob, how are you?
I heard Kevin made you some Christmas cookies.
What was it?
Cream filled?
Go ahead.
Yeah, no.
Well, yeah. Let's get this off my chest. First of all, he ahead. Yeah, no. Well, yeah.
Let's get this off my chest.
First of all, he's a piece of shit.
Kevin Spacey is obviously a piece of shit, not a good guy.
Okay.
But why is he...
So when you think of the Me Too movement, who do you think of?
You think of Harvey Weinstein.
Yeah.
Who is a dude who used his power to yes basically get laid yes and then you got
Kevin Spacey who is supposedly a uh a horrible pedophile sounds like he's got like 30 accusations
against him yeah but but did you address the fact that he's being charged like currently
and it's regarding his one instance with like an 18 year old.
Yes. My point is, my point is, why are these two guys the face of the Me Too movement?
When when, you know, when all of your listeners know there are straight up horrible, evil people in Hollywood that are just going under the radar right now.
But these two guys that are apparently the worst people in Hollywood,
according to MSM,
there's a two guys that have never criticized Trump.
So is that all it takes?
If you criticize Trump,
Hollywood's not going to out you because you just read a bunch of fake news
articles that are giving accounts of Kevin's rape or his pedophile accusation.
But the thing he gets charged for in court has nothing to do with pedophilia.
So it's like, why are these guys getting...
They're the scapegoats, long story short.
Isn't that weird, though?
Because you know who I'm talking about when I say there's a bunch of people in Hollywood
that are literally, like, procuring boys from other states as we speak
and then fucking them in hotel rooms on the weekends.
But Hollywood doesn't care about them.
They're just going after people who didn't speak out against Trump.
All right. Thank you.
I'll comment on it, Jacob. Thank you for the call.
All right. Thank you. I'll comment on it, Jacob. Thank you for the call.
We don't know that. We don't know. I don't know that Harvey Weinstein has never criticized Trump or Spacey.
I think we can find that out. Harvey Weinstein goes back and forth politically.
He plays you know, he's a power player. He'll go. Yeah, he'll shut his mouth.
And if he thinks, you know, he knows where the power is or whatever.
So, but as far as being the, you know, the face of the hashtag MeToo movement, Weinstein is, I would say, isn't he?
I know Matt Lauer and Charlie Rose and everybody else who has a car, Les Moonves and whatever. But it started with Weinstein.
It blew the lid off this whole thing.
and whatever but it started with weinstein it blew the lid off this whole thing but i'm sure we can find criticism uh of trump by these two guys somewhere if we if we looked hard enough
so you might be looking for a conspiracy where there is none but i i get your point the other
ones right out there and fucking uh you know but uh he sounds like i said it reminds me of cosby
all this you know he he's out of control.
And his brother, I read this article a couple weeks ago.
His brother, they interviewed him.
He says, my brother's probably on an island.
He was on an island.
They said he was on an island somewhere.
Who knows where.
And he said he's probably taking part in the behavior that got him in trouble.
And he doesn't give a shit.
And he's a pompous.
This is his brother talking. Who knows? His brother could be a scumbag. But I don't trouble. And he doesn't give a shit. And he's a pompous. This is his brother talking.
Who knows?
His brother could be a scumbag.
But I don't know.
And these are allegations.
But I'm sorry.
I'm going out on a limb.
It's the same story after story after story.
I didn't even read the.
There was five more of them.
So, I mean, there's a pattern developing.
You know.
So.
Anyways, enough of that. i feel filthy talking about it
yeah i can uh cheer you up with some super chats oh yeah that'll that'll do it read them slow now
all right so i can understand you go ahead right all right patrick door says i rented true romance
for tonight can't wait have you ever seen it before? Doesn't say. Probably not.
Pat, you're in for a fucking... That was Tarantino's
best. As good as
Pulp Fiction. I like a little better than... And I love
Pulp Fiction. But I thought that was
even better. Go ahead.
Alright. Crash Hand dropped a sick
50. Love your
show, Nick. And when will you be back on
Anthony's show? I guess he's referencing
Anthony Cumia. You guys are so great together. i thought he's talking about anthony newly um yes uh cumia sent
me a text saying merry christmas yesterday hadn't heard from him in a while so i gotta get back on
there okay gotta get back on there it's it's good when i plug and i work around here and he makes me laugh as
hard as anybody and he's not this fucking racist that everybody's making him out to be it's such
fucking nonsense um he's actually a smart funny uh guy and uh gotta get back the only problem is
his show sort of collides with mine you know he doesn't work on friday either that's my day off his show is in the fucking city
my his show starts is from like four to six or four to seven that's you know prime hours here
when i'm preparing and we start at six so i'll figure something out i'll make him do a noontime
show on a saturday if i have to far as arty lang i know i brought him up and uh what guys what's
the matter what's not going on over there?
I just realized Crash Hand donated N-OK dollars.
They're not pounds.
They're not American.
They're N-OK.
I don't know what that means.
Knowing you're reading, those are Nokia dollars.
N-OK?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Can you type them back and ask?
Probably some type of Bitcoin. I don't know. I got type them back and ask? Probably some type of Bitcoin.
I don't know.
I got one more.
Oh, you do?
Good.
Hurry up.
Mike Rossi dropped a wonderful 100.
Wonderful 100.
Merry Xmas, Nick.
I hope you got to plow the North 40 a few times.
I don't know what that means.
By the way, I just sold my business, and I want to be your first super fan guest ever.
I'll sit in between the
twigs and keep them in line. I could
use a laugh and teach those two pencil necks
a thing or two. Name your price.
Mike,
I've met you. You scare me a little bit.
You're not coming to my house.
It's going to be a lot more than $100.
I tell you what, Mike.
You just called the twinks the twigs,
which is much funnier, and it's now your new names.
It's the twigs.
Mike, that was a mistake on your part, but you know what?
It's going to stick.
It's hilarious.
The twigs.
Anyhow, can I move on?
That's it?
You don't have a little girl in a wheelchair that wants a
um crash hand just said it's a norwegian kroner yeah well you keep that kroner fella
kroner don't give me a bona that's a hip-hop player i like my cash in mustache kroner gave
me a bona all right next story did you guys see this video this sent chills up my asshole
at least 429 dead in indonesian tsunami as residents warned to remain vigilant yeah thanks
for the warning as my neighbors are floating by in their lawn chairs a lot of fucking help that
does authorities issued new warnings on the grim anniversary
remember the 2004 earthquake and tsunami killed a staggering 230 000 people across 14 that was
already 14 15 years ago uh i'm gonna be dead in 10 minutes it's scary how fast life's going
the latest tsunami spawned by the side of a volcano it was spawned by the side of a volcano. It was spawned by the side of
a volcano slipping into the ocean. Follows one triggered by a quake that struck just three months
ago on Indonesia's Sulawesi Island. That temblor and tsunami killed an estimated 2,100 people.
On Wednesday, Indonesian authorities warned that the continued eruption of Anak Krakatau,
or Child of Krakatau, could trigger additional tsunamis.
According to Singapore's Straight Times newspaper, on Tuesday, a fresh eruption at the Anak Krakatau
volcano sent residents fleeing from coastline areas.
Locals and officials alike in Samoa, among the areas worst hit by the tsunami, scrambled
for higher ground after hearing a booming sound at about 2.40 p.m. local time.
Those poor bastards are living.
Their nerves are just frayed.
Somebody farts and they're breaking out the umbrellas and shit.
Somebody spills a glass of water and you get beat silly by your...
In the wake of the last tsunami, Indonesian President Joko Widodo...
I'm not making it up. Joko Widodo.
I'm not making it up.
Joko Widodo.
Who'd you vote for?
Joko Widodo!
Who you vote for?
Joko Widodo!
Has promised a new early warning system by next year.
They're going to put Hillary Clinton out in a couple of floaties,
and when she tips over, get the fuck off the beaches!
A spokesman for Indonesiaonesia's national disaster management agency says the country tsunami warning
system has been broken since 2012. once again once again government in action for you folks
it's been broken for seven and how many people died because of lack of funds, passing ships,
striking the warning buoys,
and vandalism.
How do you vandalize the warning system for tsunamis?
What are you doing?
These third worlders.
But did you guys,
this is creepy.
I'll get to it in a second.
I know you saw this
because unbelievable footage.
Rock band 17, was the name of the the group was playing its second song of a set when a wave burst through the backdrop behind the stage crashed into
the drama his drum set and other musicians and swept the temporary stage
into the audience a video posted on YouTube show the tsunami slamming into
the stage erected on Tenjin,
Lusung Beach
on the Java Coast
where the band was performing
at a gathering for families
of employees
of Perseshan Listrik Negara,
the state electricity company.
Not exactly a big paying gig,
I'm guessing.
I'm doing something
for Con Ed
on Jones Beach next month.
I think I'm going to cancel.
Look at this footage. this is fucking frightening man what the fuck now it's weird that doesn't do it justice it almost looks fun it's like whoa
a big wave swept us into the balcony but it was on a beach that wave was like 65 feet tall
i could throw it on my head.
Senior in high school, we went to Fort Lauderdale for spring break.
I remember I had about 12 drinks a week.
We were body surfing.
And it's like 6 o'clock.
The winds are picking up.
I got thrown on my fucking head by a wave that was a couple feet taller than me.
And I got knocked silly. I can't imagine a 65-foot wave.
Holy shit.
When I was nine, I got thrown by a tenor in Ocean City.
I landed on my stomach.
I got speared by the board.
A tenor?
A ten footer.
Oh, I thought you meant a singer.
Yeah, I got impaled by a...
I thought a fucking opera star was at the beach with you.
So this skinny fuck's bugging me.
Oh.
And you get impaled by a board?
Yeah, by my board.
Just right in my stomach.
I started puking immediately.
Seriously?
Yeah.
How could the people tell the difference between you and the board?
You're about the same thickness, color.
You both have wax coming out.
Wax coming out of her ears?
That made no sense, Nick. nick i know but listen to this in a telephone interview with indonesia's tv1 which i subscribe to terrific
recipes on there um listen to this lead vocalist rifean ifan uh just okay kevin jones let's call
him no let's call him ifan said they were they were there were two songs into this set when the
wave struck.
It was difficult to see in the dark, he told
the TV station, but he could hear cries
around him and make out flailing hands
as people tried to stay above water.
As the noises around him faded, he said,
he thought that the concert goers around him
had drowned and that he may be next.
Imagine how frightening.
I don't think I could make it to the beach line, he said.
I feel I am really in the sea and about to die.
He tried fruitlessly to swim against the rushing water,
but salvation came in the form of a floating box.
No, that's not a sexual.
He latched onto it and used it to swim to a tree.
Half an hour later, with the water receding,
he climbed down from the tree covered in scratches.
He had one singular thought.
I have to find my band family as well as my wife.
Anybody want to point out what's wrong with that?
Typical lead singer for a rock band.
Got to find my band family and, oh, my wife.
Bet you she fucking shit her britches when she read that you're looking for your basis before
me i make your sandwiches not he said that the band had already lost their basis muhammad awal
of perbani um and their manager oki wajaya he's the only one alive, the story I read today.
It was later put a guitarist, Herman Sickbang,
and crew member, Ujang, were among those who died.
220 people died or whatever, 220 that night.
More than 200, no, it's over 400 now.
But can you imagine?
It looks, that doesn't do it justice.
I mean, you know what I mean?
It looks like, I don't know, upstairs toilet busted.
A little bit of awful.
I'm just saying.
It was like, whoa, pull back the blankets.
But how about if you're in that audience, you don't know how to swim.
How about those people?
But once again, who's to blame?
The government.
Oh, the fucking tsunami detect has been busted for about,
we'll get around to it.
Just play one last song here.
We'll fix it.
That's two stories today where the government was to blame.
I don't remember the first one.
Was that the beginning?
Oh, the Santa who killed his two little kids.
They farmed, buried in the backyard.
The cops had checked on them or social services too, you know, prior to that.
Didn't see anything up with a guy that looks like Patton Oswalt foaming at the mouth and pictures of Cub Scouts all over his headboard.
But no, everything looks good here.
So to lighting things up
the fifty norwegian crowns that that guy gave us
uh... equals five dollars and seventy one cents
while that changes everything
said next our casually
we only take american here okay
am i gonna go to the bank with my crowns
and i convert them online?
Get some information there.
I think YouTube converts them to USD for us.
Seriously?
Yeah.
Is that another theory of yours?
What was your opinion earlier on the show, Ryan?
What opinion?
I don't know.
You said something.
And I said, really?
How do you figure that?
And you had no answer.
Anyways, go back to finishing your popsicle.
Oh, yeah. And I said, really? How do you figure that? And you had no answer. Anyways, go back to finishing your popsicle.
Hiya.
Dan in Ottawa, Canada.
Trump Christmas dinner.
He won a bet with his grandmother over whether Trump will still be in power by now.
Danny boy.
Nikki, how you doing? So your grandmother's anti-Trump.
I'd say you kick her right in the fucking bony ass.
Your thoughts? Yeah, grandmother's anti-Trump. I'd say you kick her right in the fucking bony ass. Your thoughts?
Yeah,
she's 83 years old.
Oh, no, don't do that. She had a bet with me that he would not
be... Sorry.
Go ahead.
She had a bet with me he'd not be empowered
by now. Of course I won.
She's over the table giving me shit.
He's a loud mouth. He doesn't
know what he's saying.
I'm showing her a picture um a meme of melania compared to michelle obama and it says beauty and the beast
uh that's kind of mean but i mean i you know i i gotta agree with you melania's got it all
and i'll look michelle's a piece of ass if you're from the hood. And, you know, you want to bang somebody who looks like, again, a strong safety for the Broncos.
Yeah, if you're into 18-inch ankles, you know.
Our father.
Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, a thick-ankled dog face.
You tell your grandmother.
Nicky, when are you coming to Ottawa, man?
When am I coming to Ottawa?
Probably when I get chased out of the States by the FBI and I need a place to hide.
Ottawa might be one of my places.
Okay, so February?
I've been to Ottawa. I did comedy in Ottawa when I did the Just for Laughs Festival.
We did a national tour and started in Ottawa, actually.
The Nasty Show. It was me, Etel, Doug Stano, Plenty Cloud, Killer Show.
And I liked it very much.
I'll get up there.
If not Ottawa, I'll come.
How far is Niagara Falls from Ottawa?
Three hour drive.
All right.
Well, you missed me a couple weekends ago, but I'll get up there.
I get bills to pay.
Do that, Nicky.
And take it easy on the Twinks.
They're good kids.
They're great kids, but they're really assholes if you meet them in person. They're very fucking arrogant.
All right.
See you, Danny.
Why does
this take it easy on the Twinks?
Did you guys grow up
with a fucking gay dad?
When I fucked up, I was told about
it. And you know
what? They have no problem with it.
I've got a couple of those.
Oh, you go too rough.
But look at them.
Look at these kids.
They're from the hard streets of fucking Westchester County.
Look, that's a gang sign.
Did you just see Jason put up his gang sign?
You know what that means?
Anybody in his gang had a 4.0 in fucking college.
Oh, no.
It was a W for white.
You had four fingers up. Oh, okay.. Oh no, it was a W for white. You had four fingers up.
Oh, okay, there you go.
It's a W for white.
Now you're going to get
thrown off the fucking...
All the shit I said.
But you have to do
a fucking white power sign.
I'm not even white.
You guys know that.
I did the fucking 23andMe
and 22 of those people
were, you know,
Moors who raped
my great-great-great-grandmother.
I'm a half an eggplant.
Oh, who's watching?
Who said they're watching Tromance?
Pat?
Is it Pat?
Where do you see that scene, Pat?
Between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken
talking about their ethnic heritage.
It's one of the best scenes in any movie ever.
All time.
Let's move on, shall we?
Excuse me.
Toothpick time.
ICE releases hundreds of migrants in Texas over Christmas.
Why?
Why?
Why'd they do that?
Why?
Why?
Why? Why? Why'd they do that? Why?
Ice released 440 migrants over Christmas, okay?
Rep Beto O'Rourke, Democrat, Texas,
who lost his Senate bid to incumbent Republican Teddy Cruz,
is cited in the stories being instrumental in making sure ICE informs city officials of impending releases.
Yeah? Is that what you do?
As a result, nonprofits were a bit more prepared for the large intake.
Look, they're trying to put a positive spin on this idiot.
They're coming from immigration cells, so they're coming hungry, they're coming thirsty.
Most haven't bathed in a long time.
They could be coming from Detroit.
What?
The situation is really difficult for them,
Dylan Corbett,
Executive Director of Hope Border Institute, said. The report also includes comments from Ingrid.
How do we know they didn't just make this up?
The report also includes comments from Tommy and Marie
and John and Ringo.
The report also includes comments from Ingrid,
who is from Honduras.
And listen to this,
brought her four-year-old son with her to the U.S. border.
And this is her quote.
I mean, it's unreal. like a dream, Ingrid said.
They gave us clothes, food, everything.
I really didn't expect this.
Thank you so much.
That's exactly what you expected.
That's why you're coming over here.
You're going to get shit for free if you get in.
You know that.
Don't play dumb with me, Ingrid.
I've seen your kids wearing $400 Nikes.
Okay, $400 Nikes. Okay.
$180 Nikes.
What do you think?
They're going to turn the hoses on you?
I guess you've been watching the Adam's apple at MSNBC and hillbilly fucking.
I fucked my cousin, Joe Scarborough eyes.
Uh, we're compassionate nation.
That's why we're letting half the world in here.
That's why there's 22 million people living here illegally.
Really close to the 30, they say.
And that's from a report out of Yale.
A real right-leaning school, by the way.
So there's no more compassionate place on the planet.
Stop listening to the leather nipple, Nancy Pelosi, dickweed Chuck Schumer.
Ugh. Here's a statement from ICE.
After decades of inaction by Congress, the government remains severely constrained in its ability to detain and promptly remove families with no legal basis to remain in the United States to mitigate the risk of holding family units past the time frame allotted to the government.
ICE has curtailed reviews of post-release plans
from families apprehended
along the Southwest. But in other words,
we can't hold them.
They're overrunning us.
You can only hold them
so long. So let's release them into
the fucking, you know, and let's put
the taxpayers, the
U.S. citizens at risk.
Okay?
That's what they're doing.
Even still.
Curtailing reviews of post-release plans
from families, curtailing them.
That means cutting them short.
ICE continues to work with local and state officials and
NGOs. That's not a
racial thing. That's non-governmental
organization.
Partners in the area so they are
prepared to provide assistance with transportation
and other services. Yeah, what other services
is that? It says
migrants in the story,
but are they
just migrants? Are they illegals? I mean, we're talking about ICE in the story, but are they just migrants? Are they illegals?
I mean, we're talking about ICE in the story,
so see, eventually when they detain,
you're supposed to give ICE a heads up
when they're going to be released.
Those twigs in there are laughing at something.
I don't know what it is.
I think they're watching another podcast.
No, we're watching gay porn.
Are you really?
Oh.
He looks like he's 11 today.
You are a sandusky wet dream.
A picture of actual ice in the preview window.
Now you guys say I go hard on them.
That's a firing offense on a comedy show.
You mention ice and somebody puts a picture of ice cubes up.
He could have went with a couple of black rappers.
He didn't even do that,
which would have fit the show's narrative a little more.
He went with ice cubes.
But I'm going to let it slide.
It's a day after Christmas.
I don't want these.
They'll be fucking homeless. Yeah, we weren't going to do it slide. It's a day after Christmas. I don't want these. They'll be fucking homeless.
Yeah.
Yeah, we weren't going to do it.
We held it up in the preview, but we didn't put it up.
Yeah, but you did.
After you called us out on it.
I know.
All right, kids.
Go back to fucking watching gay porn.
I'd rather you're watching gay porn than pulling up ice cube pictures.
That was as gay as gay porn.
I got to be honest with you Jason
finally tonight
let's go to Mike Rossi
he's got deep pockets
he's from Rhode Island
he sells some good weed up there
I bought some
I think it was in West Warwick
what's up Rossi
West Warwick
what's up Nick
what's happening
when I saw your stand upup, it was fucking hilarious.
I was so fucked up.
I had like six Long Island ICs.
All I'm trying to do is not smash my forehead off the bar.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Mike, Mike, Mike.
Don't judge me on that alone.
No, I'm not.
I'm not.
But, Mike, you keep...
We can hear you, and then you fade out, and then we can hear you.
Try to keep the phone near your mouth.
I'm in the middle of my street trying to get a satellite signal nick i i do everything i can for you all right so look hey here's the other thing if you want i'll be more than happy you can
blindfold me on the state border right and you can take me to your residence and i can sit there
with a twig like an ISIS soldier
and you can send me, ship me the fuck out
after you're done.
Alright, I'll kick it around, Mike.
Let me kick it around.
Hey, yeah, throw it around.
Alright, thanks, Nick.
Merry Christmas.
He reminded, you know why I'm
scared to have him? He reminded me of me.
He had a fucking really down, negative fucking vibe coming on. It was like a rain cloud
pulled into the bar area and took a big fucking shower on me and left. But he had that Rhode
Island, Massachusetts. I can't explain it. You have to be from there. It's a combination. Rhode
Island is like a boil on the ass of Massachusetts. And I live in Rhode Island.
It's actually a beautiful state.
But I'm just saying he had that personality,
that New England saltiness
with a side order of fucking bummer.
But you know what?
Fucking great guy came out to see me live
and I could tell he was sloshed.
Six Long Island iced teas.
Long Island iced, what are you, stuck in 1982?
Then I had a couple of Harvey Wallbangers and a Manhattan.
Long Islands are my favorite drink.
You still like them?
Yeah, still.
Well, of course.
If you're going to touch a fucking underage kid, you better be sloshed.
You probably, you lure the kids into the house with fucking the umbrellas in the drink
all right back to the show how's your tits out there you fuck stains uh donald trump i'm all
alone poor me this is a tweet on christmas eve in the white house waiting for the democrats
this is his tweet to come back and make a deal on desperately needed border security
i love it he is not back and on the president spent most of the morning on the dumper belly laughing at Fox
news. No, the president spent most of the morning on the social media platform, urging Democrats to
pass a funding bill for national security after the government shut down on Friday. And boy,
did you feel the ramifications when they shut that government? I was frozen in time. I wanted to leave the house and I didn't know if the mail was coming in. I just, could I go to the supermarket? Are the
meatballs still, do they still sell chicken when the government shuts down? Everything's government
approved. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. I stood in my living room on the underwear for
almost 27 hours. And then my wife said, everything's fine.
So anyways,
the House of Reps passed a continuing resolution
to keep the government open
with $5 billion in funding.
What a fucking scam.
And remember this, folks.
The government shuts down
throughout the year.
Sometimes they shut down
without telling us
for operational shit
and formal stuff.
They don't even tell us
and it shuts down.
And, ooh, it's shutting down right before Christmas?
Oh, no.
They passed a five-day, whatever.
This shit bores me.
But the Senate refused to vote the legislation forward
shutting down the government.
Trump remained at the White, and I'm glad they did.
We're throwing this in Chuck Schumer's hands and Pelosi's hands because every poll
says the fucking people want the wall
and we know yes I know the wall is just symbolic
but you won't let us guard it with actual
rifles and shoot people and shit
we can't use drones and spray them with poison
and shit so you know what build a wall
just to bust your balls
I don't give a shit if it's made of Legos at this point
50 feet high
with Legos and smear it with cream cheese.
Nobody's getting over that point.
He says at some point the Democrats not wanting to make a deal will cost our country more than the border while we are talking about Trump wrote crazy talking about himself.
He reminded the United States that Democrats used to support border security,
but desperately want to keep him
from a political victory.
And he's right.
They have flip-flopped on this issue.
Here's a little bit of,
I think it's Obama and Chuck Schumer.
Here's how they felt about border security
a few years ago, as opposed to-
I mean, fuck you and your bone spurs.
No, no, no, Jace.
No.
Wow. Jace is having- Fuck you and your bone spurs. No, no, no, Jace. No. Wow.
Jace is having a fuck you and your bone...
Thanks for giving the reveal to the final story away.
I'm sorry.
Wow.
Do you have the...
Go ahead.
In fact, that's the real amnesty.
Pretending we can deport 11 million people
or build a wall without spending tens of billions of dollars
in taxpayer money,
is abetting what is really just factually incorrect.
It's not going to work.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President.
The President. The President. The President. The President. The President. some badly needed funding for better fences and better security along our borders.
And that should help stem some of the tide of illegal immigration in this country.
What?
Senator McConnell wanted me to negotiate the wall with President Trump.
I said to him two things.
First, it's not a negotiation.
No wall.
And second, I said, only you can persuade him that he shouldn't do the wall because it'll cause a government shutdown.
Illegal immigration is wrong.
And a primary goal of comprehensive immigration reform must be to dramatically curtail future illegal immigration.
Second, operational control of our borders through significant additional increases in infrastructure, technology, and border personnel must be achieved within a year of enactment.
You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here.
do you hear that did you hear the about face oh because Donald Trump's asking for it they didn't believe it when they said it fucking back in 2009 either or
16 with Obama they're full of shit open borders is what they want because it's
power is what they want where's the power well the future of the country's
brown okay we got to let them brown people put that fucking simple
two-faced motherless fucks.
And God bless Trump.
That's all I get to say on this.
Don't budge.
Keep the government shut.
Prove the point.
Keep it shut down for a year.
Nothing will change.
You'll get your fucking snail mail a day later.
Instead of the usual week, it'll take fucking eight days.
How can you be afraid of a government?
How can you? afraid of a government?
How can you?
Oh, my God.
I can't take it anymore.
All right.
That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
Hope you had a good.
Bobby Feroci, again, thank you so much. And Gay Clifton, but Feroci especially.
That was ridiculously generous.
And I hope some of that rubs off of me.
Hey, do we have the funding wall link? can we can we throw that up there jace i know you're having a tough day and you'll probably
put up some 1-800 leather slap my ass gofundme.com uh forward slash the trump wall i was gonna like
we were thinking about doing it to my PayPal thing, but it's much easier.
Just do it.
I'm going to do it.
Couldn't afford it before Christmas because Kingsford charcoal is like 20 bucks a pound.
I had 12 stockings to fill.
Anyways, gofundme.com slash the Trump wall.
Send some money.
We're trying to verify Tony Sirico, a.k.a. Pauly Walnuts.
We can't find anything saying that he donated $50,000.
Try to find that for tomorrow.
We got a picture of him flexing when he was young.
Go ahead.
The wall is at $17,351,872.
17 mil?
17 mil.
And he wants five bills,
so we're a little behind schedule.
Anyways, donate as much as you can.
And again, I agree.
At this point, it's sort of symbolic.
There's other ways to protect, but if you can't use guns and hurt people,
let's be fucking honest, we're not serious.
You think one person climbing over one of those three, somebody get picked off?
You think anybody else would try it?
It's that simple.
And again, get a sniper
and it doesn't have to be a real bullet.
Just a rubber one.
Just something that hurts enough for him
to fall off the wall.
Seriously, it is that frigging easy.
That sounds outrageous.
You want to use guns to protect your bullet?
Yes.
Yes.
I don't care.
Line up a thousand Toyota pickup trucks with fucking wacky white guys from Alabama. I don't care. Line up a thousand Toyota pickup trucks
with fucking wacky white guys from Alabama.
I don't give a shit.
Let's have some fun with it, shall we?
That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
We will be here.
Well, we'll be at Patreon.
You guys subscribe to Patreon.
You should go to nickdip.com.
You can get tomorrow's show.
But we'll be back here on Friday with another streaming show, Jace?
Yeah.
We'll be streaming live again on YouTube and Facebook.
And at the end of next month, January, like I said, I'm going out to do Rogan's show.
And also Dave Rubin.
I'm drawing a blank.
Dave Rubin that Monday.
Dave Rubin the following Monday. And
he is starting something with, and this is in public, so I can say it. It's in that we read
it right online. Him and Jordan Peterson are starting to think about starting something,
a platform of their own for guys like us. So, but so far, so good with Patreon. So I'm not
going to give them any guff either. All right, that is it.
Remember, you think it. I will say it. You're welcome. I'm going to go have another slice
of lasagna and lay down like a pregnant woman. Bye-bye, everybody. © B Emily Beynon Thanks for watching!