The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hey Pelosi, Schumer, STFU and Build that Wall

Episode Date: December 27, 2018

Silly Tillie vs. Gentle Ben. Creepy Kevin’s Christmas Vid. Band 17 Down to One. ‘Twas the Day After Christmas When All Through the House And Senate....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Thank you. Oh yeah! Welcome to the big show everybody. On a Wednesday, how are you? Day after Christmas, how you doing? Alright, 833-599-NICK, 833-599-6425 is the phone number. I can't breathe. Wife made lasagna, two plates of it. Thought we were going somewhere and decided not to.
Starting point is 00:01:00 And I've been living on alternating lasagna with coconut cream pie. I'm not cheating you, 48 hours. I'll have like two plates of lasagna, two pieces of pie, wait about four hours, two plates of lasagna. That's been going on for, it's the South Beach. I can't even fucking breathe. So I'll be making fun of fat people, and I throw myself in there. I can't wait for this shit to go.
Starting point is 00:01:26 January 1st, I am going to lose 20 pounds. How? Hepsi. That's right. I blew a tattoo artist on Sunset Boulevard last weekend. What's that got to do with anything? I don't know. Anyways, happy holidays.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Look at this. Look at that. What is that? I'll tell you what it is. Bobby Wheels Ferrucci. One of our loyal listeners and fans and patrons and whatnot. Sent this to Nick and Wipe. Dear Nick, this is sterling silver
Starting point is 00:02:06 toothpick. It's one of the last ones that I had made. He was a jeweler. He's retired. It is hand forged and I figured for the guy with everything, it might look good clenched between your teeth as you yell about all the idiots trying to fuck shit up. And for your lovely wife, she has them on
Starting point is 00:02:22 a pair of David Yerman. David Yerman? I mean, Jesus Christ. I go to Jared's place. My friend told me I didn't want to get my wife for her birthday. He said, go to Jared's place. So I gave her a six-inch tuna with pickles and olives.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Wok, wok, wok. And for your lovely wife, a pair of David German Diamond X 18 carat yellow gold earrings for her to enjoy it's better than anything I ever gave her in my life I send this as some holiday cheer and I thank you for such a great show and comic relief through a sometimes shit ass world
Starting point is 00:02:57 and and may I also add the fact that whenever I watch a podcast bring back all the great memories of my father and uncle sitting around the Sunday dinner table, watching football and talking about the world in pure cynical Italian fashion. I love it.
Starting point is 00:03:13 P.S. I'm also sending two nutritional bars for the twinks so that they may start growing some fucking muscles on their famished-like bodies. may start growing some fucking muscles on their famished like bodies here's a young marv albert and his uh life partner kevin thanks already yeah it's thanks again for all the laughs i'll catch you at one of your shows sincerely number one fan in the hudson valley bobby wheels for russie bobby can't thank you enough that was uh scary generous man and uh that was a fucking lowly god damn it i'll tell you something these glasses don't make me look old enough then we have from gay clifford uh one of uh great fans he i played his uh christmas uh Christmas band song last week, right? I got two
Starting point is 00:04:05 CDs from a gay... This kid is... He's very creative. As those gay people are. Nick, what are you saying? I don't know. Also, he sent me this.
Starting point is 00:04:22 Oh, man. And I haven't seen this yet. Robert De Niro and Philip Seymour Hoffman in Flawless. Philip Seymour Hoffman's playing a woman. And I might take this in tonight after some bowl games. Just for a hoot. Thank you so much. Dates, real quick.
Starting point is 00:04:42 You can get these at nickdip.com. Yes. Monday, December 31 at nickdip.com. Yes, huh? Monday, December 31st, New Year's Eve, Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. Wednesday, January 9th, Fat Black Pussycat, New York City. Friday, January 11th, Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York. Saturday, January 12th, Fairfield Theatre Company, Fairfield, Connecticut.
Starting point is 00:05:00 Saturday, January 19th, Bobby V's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Sunday, January 27th, Ventura's in Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Sunday, January 27th, at Ventura Harbor Comedy Club, Ventura, California. I will be on with Joe Rogan that Friday, I think, which is the 25th, and I'm doing Dave Rubin Show on the 28th. Friday and Saturday, February 8th and 9th, The Black Box in Boca Raton, Florida. Friday, March 8th, Wood Theater, Glens Falls, New York. Saturday, March 9th, Cohoes Hall, Cohoes, New York. Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's Agunquit, Maine.
Starting point is 00:05:35 Saturday, August 10th, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. There's some other ones, but the links aren't up. It's too early, so I'll just read the ones where the links are up. Anyways, how you doing, folks? Last night, 833-599-6425. Colin Quinn called me yesterday morning and said, you've got to watch this escape at Dannemora. You know the story about the two criminals upstate New York
Starting point is 00:05:57 busted out of that prison, and they used that filthy little ugly hoe that worked there. They were both having sex with her and whatnot. And when Colin Quinn tells you something's good, he's usually right about 21% of the time. No, he's usually right about 99% of the time because he's a great writer of scripts himself. And so I said, yeah, I got to check this out.
Starting point is 00:06:17 And let me tell you, he was so right on the money. Have you guys watched this? Un-frigging-believable. money. Have you guys watched this? Un-friggin-believable. Patricia Arquette plays Lily, Tilly, I should say. She's the woman who helped these guys break out that worked at the prison tailor shop. Upstate New York. This is like 60 miles from Montreal. Just a cold, depressing town with nothing to do. And it is so well written directed ben stiller he executive produced and directed this thing and uh patricia arquette uh you might as well give her the emmy right now this is as good as acting i have ever seen and uh you're gonna freak out uh you know if you
Starting point is 00:06:58 remember her she's she's been a lot of and benicio del toro plays rich Matz, one of the bad guys. And Paul Dano plays the other guy, David Sweat, the two guys that broke out. And I don't know how the fuck, I don't know how they did it. And that part's all real. Excuse me. Put up a picture of Patricia Arquette. That's her in True Romance. I think her best role, role in my opinion was she total
Starting point is 00:07:26 piece of ass and every young boy's dream just a cool fucked up chick and true romance if you haven't seen that you shouldn't be a fan of mine you should be out choreographing some type of uh faggy dance uh now here's her transformed into tilly? It's in the article. Guys, when I do an article and there's a picture in it, just fucking assume. You know what, Jace? You can pull it up. He's getting it.
Starting point is 00:07:53 I was going to, but I'm like, no, he'll know. You know, it's in the article. To kill time, we had a super chat before the show even started. All right, real quick. Go ahead. Chanel Julio says, hey, Nick, this is Joe, one of your newest sunny subscribers how's your achy breaky stem it's a breaky yet not achy and still a stem unfortunately
Starting point is 00:08:11 that's all i could say about that um what the hell's tilly just they refer to as shaw skank what the fuck's a real name goddamn it's Mitchell that's a pig there you go that's not her I think that's her as her is it okay well that's what we wanted anyways what I asked for sorry I'm a little slow it's uh I take a few days off that's not doing her justice. She actually looks good there. Fucking, she's, she put on 40 pounds for this role. And it's incredible. You're not even going to recognize her. She's like gross.
Starting point is 00:08:56 She put on 40 pounds. She's an old wrinkled woman with bad skin. And wasn't there a picture in the article? No? Sometimes I send you guys. Anyways, the only complaint I have about it, and once again, the husband is portrayed as almost retarded, as husbands will be portrayed when it comes out of Hollywood because the feminists have their fingernails into Hollywood
Starting point is 00:09:20 and they approve anything that goes out. What's your point, Nick? He probably was dumb. Yeah, he was a moron, but so was she, as Trump would say, a couple of low IQ individuals. But they made him so retarded and caricature like he's like every white husband in a commercial or a sitcom, only dumber. He's like Kevin James to the hundredth power in King of Queens. He's that fucking retarded. And he's got a twitch. And that part, I didn't believe for a second. I know these are dope in real life. But the point being, why did they do that?
Starting point is 00:09:51 That way they could almost justify what the woman did. Because Hollywood has a real problem portraying women in any negative light. And in this situation, she was blowing guys and fucking guys and helped them escape. Murderers. Okay? So the only way they could justify that is to make the husband even more retarded. And it's almost like, look, she didn't have a choice. Look at this guy.
Starting point is 00:10:16 It's almost justifying her behavior. That's my take on it. And I know I'm spot on. Why do I know? Because I was saying shit like this on Tough Crowd 14 years ago, and I was dead on. It almost ruined it for me. What a cartoonish figure they made the husband to be.
Starting point is 00:10:34 They were both, like I said, semi-retarded, but they catch the gloominess and the mundane life living way up there in the middle of nowhere, that close to the Canadian border with nothing to do. At one point, he takes her for a big weekend in Plattsburgh to a fucking War of 1812 museum or some shit. It's fucking, it is so depressing, this setting, and it's always gray and snowy and cold,
Starting point is 00:11:00 and they're miserable, and their big night out is going to Wild Wings, and it's just, Ben Stiller nailed it. Except for the frigging husband. And I guarantee you, there was somebody going, oh, no. You know, he's got to be dumber than that. I can just hear her voice. I've met these broads when I lived in L.A. They give notes for scripts.
Starting point is 00:11:19 They have no sense of humor. But she was, you know, she's fucking a horrible person. But, you know, they had to soften it by making him even worse um i watched we watched five episodes in a row last night i i didn't want to stay up till four i would have watched it a couple more um but they did a great job even the prison scenes you know how i know it's realistic they actually most of the prisoners in the background are black and brown yeah even way up. As opposed to most movies you watch. Watch Shawshank Redemption. Christ, the prison looks like a Klan rally.
Starting point is 00:11:51 I've never seen that many white guys in one place in my life. But it is so well acted, so well written. It is worth your time. And you get hooked immediately. It's based on a true story. I can't believe guys would have the optimism. They find, they find that some piping and air conditioning, duct work like behind one of the cells,
Starting point is 00:12:11 but it's miles before they can fucking cut through it. And they're using a little, little hacksaws that she snuck in in a package of frozen hamburger. I'm telling you. And then I, there's an article today that the headline was, Ben Stiller fires back after, this is what they call a Shawskank. Ben Stiller fires back after Shawskank calls him a liar. He's lying.
Starting point is 00:12:41 But Ben Stiller has a message for Joyce and Tilly Mitchell, a.k.a. the Shawskank, following her claims that his shit, shit, that his hit Showtime miniseries, Escape at Dannemore, is filled with lies. And he says,
Starting point is 00:12:55 it's not a documentary, explains Still, about Mitchell's jailhouse assessment to the Post on Sunday. We did have to create scenes based on us inferring what we believed to be the truth. And I follow this story, and they seem to be nailing it. My guideline was always to try and tell what I thought happened still added.
Starting point is 00:13:13 This was a story I wanted to tell in as full a way as possible and really tried to take into account the context of the world that everyone was living in. I was just trying to tell the story in as real and hopefully as entertaining way as possible without exploiting. Mitchell, that would be Tilly, 54,
Starting point is 00:13:30 blasted Stiller during her post-interview last week at Bedford Hills Correctional Facility in West Desk, where she's currently serving a seven-year sentence for the 2015 prison break that was the basis for her escape at Dannemore. For portraying her as a lovesick prison seamstress.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Stiller directs the Showtime series, and there are several scenes showing Mitchell having consensual sex with convicted killers David Sweat and Richard Matt, who are at the center of the three-week manhunt. She says, I never had sex with them. Ben Stiller is a son of a bitch liar. A son of a, son of a bitch liar.
Starting point is 00:14:05 He's lying. Asked about her claims, Stiller told Deadline he was sorry she feels that way and he might punch her in her throat. No, he didn't. Look. Excuse me. Look, that's the story Mitchell has always told,
Starting point is 00:14:19 Stiller said, noting how the Dan Moore production team, is it Dan Moore or Dan Moore? I don't know. Did a year's worth of research on the project. We got as much information as we could from the police reports, the interviews, and then we put together our own story, still, as we think it is a real representation of what went on. She can dispute it, but the reality is
Starting point is 00:14:40 she was kicked out of the tailor shop for inappropriate conduct, for going in the back room with David Sweat. I think there was 60 or 70 notes passed back and forth between them. She sent him nude pictures of herself. There are all sorts of things to indicate there was a relationship going on. That's where we got that from. And yeah, I mean, the sex scenes are so awkward and shit because look at her.
Starting point is 00:15:02 Yeah, put that up again. That was fucking perfect. I can't even tell if that's the real one or that's that's our cat that's i that's i think that's the real one how do you know how would you know you emaciated puss no seriously i want to know how you know that. Because this is Arquette. Yeah. She looks the same in every... Oh, my God. That's the whole idea. That's what she looks like in the fucking movie.
Starting point is 00:15:35 That is what she looks like in the movie. I think that's her. I swear to God. I don't even know anymore. It doesn't even say... I know. That's how good a job they did. But anyways, I'm just... the bottom line is watch it.
Starting point is 00:15:48 You'll be sucked in in a second. I'm not going to talk smack, so you can get rid of him about the Patriots and Jaguars. Don't call and tell me what to talk about. Especially when it's irrelevant to the goddamn conversation. Tell him to find something else and I'll talk about it. Anyways, let's get on with it, shall we? Oh, this is good news for the Republicans, I think. 2020 vision, this is the headline.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Hillary Christmas message includes photo from White House. Hillary is dreaming of another run, apparently, maybe. Do you fucking believe it? Don't we have a picture of Hillary? No? Did I send this to the wrong show? Ah, fuck it. Here she is.
Starting point is 00:16:39 I should talk. I weigh about the cinema. How do you like to hear this for four or eight years? Please shoot that thing. Shoot that fucking thing. Okay, money? She sent out a tweet with a picture. Merry Christmas to everyone celebrating today.
Starting point is 00:16:59 She tweeted along with a photo of Bill about to embrace a woman. It says presumably Chelsea. Yeah, you better presume probably the fucking maid who made the ornaments on the tree from ecuador they got her chained to a radiator feeding her alpo uh clinton has left the door open that's a big door to leave open i'll tell you it's like double doors open to a potential get this third run for the white house. A third fucking run. No, no, no. We can't have it.
Starting point is 00:17:26 Run through a motherfucker face. That was her quote. In October, Hillary admitted, I'd like to be president. Here's the video of this fucking. Look at that giant head. Do you want to run again? No. Wait.
Starting point is 00:17:44 No. Well, I'd like to run again? No. Wait. No. So pause. Well, I'd like to be president. Okay. Okay. Look, I think, hopefully, when we have a Democrat in the Oval Office in January of 2021, there's going to be so much work to be done. I mean, we have confused everybody in the world, including ourselves. And we have confused our friends and our enemies.
Starting point is 00:18:09 Pause. How? Who's confused? Because every... Obama didn't confuse the whole fuck our allies and enemies. He went around and sucked ass and apologized for the United States.
Starting point is 00:18:21 That was his first thing. Then he tried to be their friends. And then he pulled... He drew a red line in the sand. He fucked that up. Led to your demise, Benghazi. But we're confused now? It's just the opposite. Trump came in and said, hey, motherfuckers, we've been paying for your defense over in Europe and NATO. You got to start pitching in. And by the way, from here on in, it's America first. How the fuck could be? Where's the confusion? They don't like it.
Starting point is 00:18:47 That's different. You thick ankle dog face with fucking hands like a monster. Where's the confusion? You confused it. You liberal jerk off American hating pieces of garbage. You confused it. There's no confusion. Fucking NATO knows right where they stand they better pitch in
Starting point is 00:19:05 and the people at the un or fucking get off get off the fucking boat we're not helping you and by the way you can't come pouring into our country unfettered now i think he cleared up where he stands there what confusion you titless wonder seriously you are deranged nobody wants you including your own party please run i'm sending you 25 dollars tonight in government cheese and you can stick it up your ass why did i take it that way i had a good point confusion our allies are confused yeah right they are confused china's going holy shit trump knows what he's doing with the economy. They're going to smoke us.
Starting point is 00:19:46 We better start stealing some more like we did when Obama was in office. Fucking confusion. Deep state mean anything? You fucking sausage eater. I got something right here. Bobby, look at this.
Starting point is 00:19:59 Piece of Brijol from last Christmas. Not this past year. I'm talking a year ago. I love this thing. I wish I a year ago. I love this thing. I wish I was a badass. I'll bite down on one of my fake teeth. It'll come out.
Starting point is 00:20:11 That's real silver. Hello, I'm William Devane. Clinton went on to tout her credentials to prove what, go ahead. I think there's more. Here what the United States stands for, what we're likely to do, what we think is important. So the work would be work I think there's more. Break your fat back. Oh, I have no idea, Cara, but I'm going to, you know, I'm not going to even think about it until we get through this November 6th election about what's going to happen after that.
Starting point is 00:20:50 Yeah, ready? Run through a motherfucker face. The interviewer, Billy, went, I don't know what you're thinking. I mean, you guys love me. I can tell you don't like my wife that much, but this dumb bitch is a glutton for punishment. I'll tell you that much. It's curious why Hillary Clinton's name isn't in the mix, either conversationally or in formal polling,
Starting point is 00:21:14 as a 2020 candidate, Raines, said. Philippe Raines, that's one of her guys that worked for her. She's younger than Donald Trump by a year. Ooh, that's by a whole year. She's younger than Trump, yet she can't speak more than a minute without spitting up blood and she had a shit stain in her pantsuit
Starting point is 00:21:29 for half the fucking campaign. But she's younger by a year. She lives on heavy cream and fucking bonbons. She's younger than Joe Biden by four years. Is it that she's run before? This would be Bernie Sanders' second time
Starting point is 00:21:44 and Biden's third time. Is it a lack of support? She had 65 million people vote for her. Yes, and 64 million of them were in New York and L.A. Oh! So you run, Hillary. You go, girl. You go.
Starting point is 00:21:59 You go to the gym. Do some deep knee bend, you big cheese eater. It's Christmas time in the gym. Do some deep knee bench, you big cheese eater. It's Christmas time in the city. You ain't getting shit. You ain't getting shit. No, you ain't getting dick. That's right. You ain't getting dick from me, Ma.
Starting point is 00:22:17 How do you like that? You ain't getting shit for Christmas. I know what you did. You're a damn... Walmart Santa, Elwyn Crocker, is that not a southern redneck serial killer's name,
Starting point is 00:22:32 charged after kids are found in his yard? You thought they were afraid of Santa before. When do the kids read this online after they're looking at porn at age six? A Walmart Santa was busted in connection with the deaths of his two kids.
Starting point is 00:22:51 There he is. And personally, Patton Oswalt, that's what you're going to look like, I'd say, in about 20 years. Go back to Crocker. Well, you guys are a little rusty yourselves. That's fucking Patton Oswalt or his dad. Look at him. He's got the same show. That picture's no good because that's the best picture Patton Oswalt ever took.
Starting point is 00:23:15 That's Patton Oswalt. No, Patton, I'm not saying you do this to kids. Not yet. The remains of Elwynn Crocker Jr., a 14 a 14 year old who vanished two years ago and his sister Mary, 14 who was last seen in October were unearthed in the small farming town of Guyton last week
Starting point is 00:23:37 deputies searching the home on a tip were led to the graves can you imagine by the kid's dad Elwyn Crocker Sr. who turned 50 on Christmas. Ew, he turned, that's even creepier. He's a killer and a
Starting point is 00:23:52 Santa Claus, and he was born on Christmas. Imagine Christ comes back and it's him. And until recently worked as Santa at a store in Racon. Boy, you guys really vetted him well. Yeah, I wouldn't let that guy fucking clean my septic tank.
Starting point is 00:24:12 But let's bring our kids to him and sit on his fucking filthy lap. He looks like an elf that had AIDS and Hep C. His wife and the kids' stepmother, Candace Crocker, 33. Her her mother kim wright listen to the dysfunction in this mess who's 50 and wright's boyfriend anthony pratter 55 sounds like a defense event the browns were also called on charges of concealing a death in child cruelty they remain in uh effingham county jail without bond a third child who has special needs was found alive in the home. Well, lucky him. I'm sure he's getting great care.
Starting point is 00:24:49 What a creepy white fucking Christmas. Neither Elwynn Jr. nor her sister were officially reported missing. How they died is still unclear. The siblings have been enrolled in Effingham County Schools, but were withdrawn from homeschool before they were last seen. The family had been reported to the Division of Family and Children's Services in the past, where once again, government dropped the ball. I'm sorry. I look at that guy and go, you're creepy.
Starting point is 00:25:18 Are you a dad? You're coming with me. Yeah, but there's no evidence. I don't give a shit. You have fucking you'll have little you have little kids soap on your breath 833-599-6425 is the goddamn phone number up in here up in here run through a motherfucker face anybody see the Kevin Spacey creepy Christmas video that he released that sent made that last guy in that story look sane Spacey always gave me the willies a little bit just a little bit great actor no doubt about it but now he
Starting point is 00:26:03 sends out this duplicitous video. You can watch it and, I don't know, it's like the Bible. Interpret it whatever way you want, whether he's talking about himself and his personal problems or Frank Underwood. He does it as Frank Underwood, the character that he played on House of Cards, the evil president. But this is creepy. On Monday, the same day space he was charged with sexually assaulting a teen boy in 2016 that's never a good start in a story the actor took to social media for the first time in more than a year his strange youtube video titled let me be
Starting point is 00:26:37 frank rap racked up a whopping 4.5 million views in 24 hours the os Oscar winner had been, yeah, 3.5. Those are people he probably touched. Oh, Nick, you don't know that. I don't. Just making a joke. Zach, hold on the line, buddy. We'll get to your story in a second. Anyways, the Oscar winner
Starting point is 00:27:02 has been silenced since October 2017 when Star Trek discovery actor Anthony Rapp first spoke about allegations against Spacey but returned with a seasonal splash clad in a spirited Santa Claus apron. In the video, which has since swelled to more than 6.4 million views, Spacey defends himself in character as Frank Underwood. In the world of the show,
Starting point is 00:27:24 Underwood himself is a sexual assaulter and murderer, which makes him an odd choice as an avatar for claiming innocence. The video is about two and a half, three minutes long, but I think it's interesting because he's in character. It shows what a great actor he is, but he could be talking about his personal. He sends out this weird, and then I'll read the allegations. Sorry, I'm going to weigh in. He's about as innocent as oj was but uh let's let's watch this video he's a frag i know what you want oh sure they may have tried to separate us,
Starting point is 00:28:06 but what we have is too strong, it's too powerful. And after all, we shared everything, you and I. You're fucking crazy. I told you my deepest, darkest secrets. I showed you exactly what people are capable of. No, you did. The FBI did. I shocked you with my honesty, but mostly I challenged you and made you think.
Starting point is 00:28:25 About porn you trusted me Even though you knew you shouldn't This is actually a little bit so we're not done no matter what anyone says And besides making a comeback. I know what you want You want me back? Of course some believed everything and had just been waiting with bated breath to hear me confess it all. They're just dying to have me declare that everything said is true and that I got what
Starting point is 00:28:53 I deserved. Wouldn't that be easy if it was all so simple? Only you and I both know it's never that simple, not in politics and not in life. But you wouldn't believe the worst without evidence, would you? You wouldn't rush to judgments without facts, would you? We're not rushing. It's been two years. No, not you. You're smarter than that. Anyway, all this presumption made for such an unsatisfying ending. And to think it could have been such a memorable send-off.
Starting point is 00:29:25 I mean, if you and I have learned nothing else these past years, it's that in life and art, nothing should be off the table. We weren't afraid, not of what we said and not of what we did, and we're still not afraid. Because I can promise you this. If I didn't pay the price for the things we both know I did do,
Starting point is 00:29:44 I'm certainly not gonna pay the price for the things I didn't pay the price for the things we both know I did do, I'm certainly not going to pay the price for the things I didn't do. Of course, they're going to say I'm being disrespectful, not playing by the rules like I ever played by anyone's rules before. I never did. It's fucking great. And you loved it. Look at his apron. Anyhow. Guilty.
Starting point is 00:30:03 Despite all the poppycock, the animosity, the headlines, the impeachment without a trial, Look at his apron. Guilty. Guilty. Wait a minute. Good enough. You will know the full truth. Wait a minute. Somebody's touching my balls under this apron. Now that I think of it... It's little Billy. You never actually saw me die, did you? I don't know what that means. He left it in somebody's ass. Conclusions can be so deceiving.
Starting point is 00:30:48 Miss me? Get out of my room, you sick cunt. All right, I don't know. Rumor has it that Jerry Sandusky wrote that script and sent it to him. He could be talking about Frank Underwood himself. That's what makes it so weird. And maybe disrespectful to the victims themselves. I thought it was going to reveal, like, you know,
Starting point is 00:31:14 when they pull back the camera, like, four kids and their late teens nude behind them, drinking cocoa with just Santa hats on. Shit that Ryan would do, not blink twice. Am I right, Ryan? I would be one of the teens. Yes. Now he's got a big smile on his face.
Starting point is 00:31:34 You look like you're 14. Anyways, let's go to Pat real quick. Sarah Tull wants to talk about this video. Patty, what's going on? Thanks for coming out the other night. Yeah, hey, what's going on? Thanks for coming out the other night. Yeah, hey, what's going on, Nick? Yeah, I just wanted to say I saw this video Christmas Eve, and I think it just goes to show how out of touch Hollywood really is
Starting point is 00:31:57 because, I mean, he's out of his mind, even if he's innocent, to make a video like this. You know, and these are the people in the industry that are saying that, just he's he's out of his mind even if he's innocent uh to make a video like this uh you know and these are the people in the industry that are saying that uh you know trump interferes with investigations or he's just um you know outright narcissistic i don't know how it gets more narcissistic than this um you know and i just i i thought it was uh really just uh kind of a pathetic video and you know he was like one of my favorite actors, too. Yeah, he still is.
Starting point is 00:32:27 But I just, well, I don't understand it. In Hollywood's defense, I mean, they did boot him from House of Cards and a whole bunch of other shit. But I guess there's one project he's still involved with. I forget the name of it. But, you know, his agent agent everybody had to drop him so you know but we'll see they will leave the door open for this something tells me deep down that they have a soft spot for this guy too but that was that was you're right pat because his brother
Starting point is 00:33:00 said that in an article his brother hates him he said he's my brother's most narcissistic i read it on the show and and pompous fucking arrogant asshole and and and yeah so uh we shall see uh if he ever resurfaces uh i'm sure a gay guy will get a break before a straight heterosexual guy who's accused of the hashtag me too um but they got phone calls hey thank hey pat nice meeting you and your old man by the way i appreciate you coming out hey yeah thanks that guy he he loves you and loves the show he just he doesn't have a smartphone or a computer really so he can't can't watch the podcast but he he loves you man he's like uh he's a he's a boston guy himself yes don't he thinks it's pretty awesome when I take him. Thanks, Pat. Good call, buddy.
Starting point is 00:33:47 Yeah, they came out to the show. So, yeah, they put up a hotline. Remember, he worked at a theater in London, and right after that, Anthony Rapp came out with that complaint. But let me just real quick, I'm going to rip through the allegations. It sort of reminds me of Bill Cosby. When, you know, 60 women have the same story, I'm pretty sure. I don't know.
Starting point is 00:34:09 I know it's circumstantial evidence. But here is what we know. Other than Anthony Rapp, which was back in October 2017 or 14, whatever. Here we go. Here's some of the other allegations. 1983-84, anonymous 14-year-old boy told New York Magazine in 83 when he was 14, Spacey was 24, he began a sexual relationship with Spacey
Starting point is 00:34:38 that allegedly culminated in Spacey attempting to rape him. 1985, anonymous 17-year-old boy. BBC reported on November 1st, 2017, Spacey allegedly approached an anonymous 17-year-old boy in 1985, befriending the teen and then ultimately inviting him to visit his home, where Spacey progressed from being charming and brotherly to sexually inappropriate. Well, that's what I did when I was young with girls.
Starting point is 00:35:04 I'd be all charming and opening the door for them and pulling out their chair for them when they sat down. And by the end, when they went to sit down, I'd pull the chair out completely and bang their head on the floor and I'd laugh. No, that's totally false. After rejecting Spacey's initial advances, the accuser says he woke up to find Spacey's hand on his,
Starting point is 00:35:22 I mean his head on his stomach and his arms wrapped around him. Kevin Spacey said he was shown how to form tackle. I don't believe, no. The anonymous source described Spacey to the BBC as either very stupid or predator. 1986, Kate Edwards. Hey, that's abroad. He must have been really drunk that night.
Starting point is 00:35:40 When London performing arts teacher Kate Edwards was 17, she worked as a production assistant for the 1986 Broadway revival of Long Day's Journey Into Night, in which Spacey starred alongside Jack Clement. Edwards allegedly BVC'd that Spacey then 27 invited her up to his flat for an apparently non-existent party. We used to do that one too.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Where he kissed her. When it became clear he wanted sex, she made excuses about wanting to leave. He became cold and told her to find her own way home. I did that too. Guilty. 1988, Justin Dawes. A man named Justin Dawes told BuzzFeed that he met a 29-year-old Spacey
Starting point is 00:36:19 through a Connecticut theater when he was 16 years old, a junior in high school. Spacey allegedly invited Dawes and a friend to hang out at his apartment where he served them cocktails and showed gay porn. I've done that too. No, I have not. I have not. I have not.
Starting point is 00:36:32 I have not. I have. Of course you have, you sick bastard. That's why this is your last day. Give him his pink slip, and I do mean pink. Oh, the pie and lasagna is cutting into my fucking belt line. This has to stop tonight. Spacey invited Dawes and a friend to hang by,
Starting point is 00:36:53 served him cocktail gay porn, even though nothing else happened at the time. The 16-year-old felt like he should have realized Spacey won't. Yeah, okay. 1995, Mark Ebenhach told BuzzFeed he'd been working as a military advisor on the set of Outbreak, in which Spacey played a supporting role when one of Spacey's on-set assistants propositioned him on Spacey's behalf. They asked flat out to engage in a sexual act, Ebenhach alleged. It was enough to stun me. It blew me away. Bad choice of words.
Starting point is 00:37:20 Ebenhach told BuzzFeed that he rejected the invitation and avoided Spacey for the duration of the production. 1995, anonymous crew member on the film Albino Alligator. Hey, who couldn't forget Albino Alligator? Albino Alligator. A fucking classic. Albino Alligator. I got Godfather 1 and 2. I got Midnight Run.
Starting point is 00:37:45 I got Goodfellas, Braveheart, then Albino Alligator. It comes in five or six for me. Albino Alligator. Let me see. The Alligator is probably played by Jim Gaffigan, I'm guessing. The BBC reported that while working on the 95 film Albino Alligator, which remarks Spacey's film debut the actor allegedly harassed an anonymous crew member who was 22 years old at the time according to the
Starting point is 00:38:09 crew member spacey initially seemed friendly and took an interest i said spacely mr spacely took an interest in his career but progressed to creepy behaviors such as giving him an unwanted massage uh i've never had an unwanted massage on one of of the last days of the shooting, he sat down next to me, put his thigh against mine, put his hand on my thigh and moved it towards my inner thigh. I felt trapped. I felt harassed. I felt turned on. No, sexually harassed.
Starting point is 00:38:39 1995 to 2015, at least 20 young men told the Old Vic Theater, blah, blah, blah. On November, there's more. I'm just going to read one more. November 1st, 2017, Mexican actor Robert Cavazos discussed past encounters at the Old Vic with Spacey in a Facebook post
Starting point is 00:38:54 written in Spanish. Cavazos alleged that Spacey touched him inappropriately numerous times and said that Spacey would frequently grope men while hanging out at the Old Vic's bar. It appears that all that was needed was a male under the age of 30 for Mr. Spacey to feel free to touch us, Cavazos wrote. It was so common it turned into a local joke.
Starting point is 00:39:11 And there's more. So, I don't know. Guilty! Nick, you can't do that. You can't, uh, you can't say shit like that. I know your son looks like a fag to me. All right. Director Tony Montana was the
Starting point is 00:39:26 second person to publicly come forward with an allegation against Spacey. On Halloween of 2017, he told the gossip website Radar Online Spacey physically assaulted him in 2013 when Montana was in his 30s. Montana alleged Spacey approached him in a bar, groped him, and said, this
Starting point is 00:39:41 designates ownership, as he did so. I had post traumatic stress disorder six months after. I tell you, get your fucking hands off my cock, okay? What the fuck? Don't let me tell you, I said no kids. I tell you, no fucking kids. Well, look at you now, you stupid fuck. You want to go to fucking war? I'll take you to war, okay? That's right. That was Tony Montana, the director I just did.
Starting point is 00:40:17 Hey, let's slip into a hack bit. Tony Montana is the director. And fucking action. That's way too big, cut. That's way too fucking big. You're too big, man. Over the fucking top you're too big man over the fucking top what are you gonna do now okay let's go to zach in pittsburgh zach says i know it's off topic but he calls and he's one of our loyal listeners i like to tell you a story from over christmas dinner his 63 old man told him a story about how he got kicked out of a bar. He started a fight about the Patriots.
Starting point is 00:40:46 And not the Patriots of the war, the actual Tom Brady Patriots. Zach, I want to hear this one. Keep it to two minutes, though, could you? I've got a lot of calls. Alright, Nick. Real quick, my parents had to go up to Boston for a couple days in August.
Starting point is 00:41:02 They get up there, check in the hotel. Long drive, the old man goes into the bar in the hotel. I grab a beer and take a six-pack upstairs. He walks in, doesn't realize he's wearing a Steelers jersey, and there's a table of four to five people. And they say, not so silently, oh, my God, do you believe he came in there and that? And they start talking all kind of shit.
Starting point is 00:41:23 And he gets a beer beer gets a six-pack and he eventually walks over he says hey guys the past two times you played us you kicked our ass what more do you want and i guess they just start doubling down talking shit on roethlisberger running their mouths and i guess he had enough and he he was 63 goes he looks at him he goes you know what my two knees are going bad but guess what buddy the rest of my body's good and then then the bartender jumps over the bar just you gotta get out of here get out of here looks at him and goes, you know what? My two knees are going bad, but guess what, buddy? The rest of my body's good. And then the bartender jumps over the bar and says, you've got to get out of here.
Starting point is 00:41:49 Get out of here now. Where was he exactly? I know it was the place they're going. It was like on the west end of Boston. I mean, I could ask him to put it on Twitter or something. No, that's all right. But yeah, 63-year-old man got kicked out. Yeah, people, I'll tell you, there's nobody immature than hardcore sports fans,
Starting point is 00:42:11 including myself sometimes. But I'll be on stage. Zach, you know this as a comic. I'll be on stage and I'll go, I'll be talking about a sports story. It has nothing to do with sports, you know? Let's say a guy get busted for drugs, and I go, go you see the
Starting point is 00:42:25 the guy for the cleveland brown fucking broad suck dude i get in a fight i get in a fight one of my two fights it started off that way and i was doing giggles in boston and saw i guess outside of boston and i had lived uh i said i live in new york now that was my i come up how you guys doing i go this is where i'm from there's neck of the woods but i live in New York now. That was my, I come up, how you guys doing? I go, this is where I'm from. There's neck of the woods, but I live in New York now. Yankees suck. And I go, okay, cool. Yankees suck. I'm still a Red Sox fan.
Starting point is 00:42:50 Anyways, Yankees suck. Guy wouldn't let me get my first few words out. So then, you know, I had about six drinks. I mean, I said, shut your fucking mouth and your girlfriend's fat and ugly. And then, you know, ended up with the cops coming and fucking, it was like an old, it was like a country western bar.
Starting point is 00:43:06 Five people jumped in. There was a shelf on the wall. All these mugs were sliding off and breaking. It was like a saloon fight from fucking 1886. All right, tell your old man I love his spirit, man. All right, will do. See you, Zach. By the way, fuck Pittsburgh.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Anyways, they beat us last time. I couldn't say that because I like Zach. I don't want to say it right in his ear. But they won last time. Jacob in Atlanta wants to talk about Kevin Spacey. Jacob, how are you? I heard Kevin made you some Christmas cookies. What was it?
Starting point is 00:43:39 Cream filled? Go ahead. Yeah, no. Well, yeah. Let's get this off my chest. First of all, he ahead. Yeah, no. Well, yeah. Let's get this off my chest. First of all, he's a piece of shit. Kevin Spacey is obviously a piece of shit, not a good guy. Okay.
Starting point is 00:43:52 But why is he... So when you think of the Me Too movement, who do you think of? You think of Harvey Weinstein. Yeah. Who is a dude who used his power to yes basically get laid yes and then you got Kevin Spacey who is supposedly a uh a horrible pedophile sounds like he's got like 30 accusations against him yeah but but did you address the fact that he's being charged like currently and it's regarding his one instance with like an 18 year old.
Starting point is 00:44:25 Yes. My point is, my point is, why are these two guys the face of the Me Too movement? When when, you know, when all of your listeners know there are straight up horrible, evil people in Hollywood that are just going under the radar right now. But these two guys that are apparently the worst people in Hollywood, according to MSM, there's a two guys that have never criticized Trump. So is that all it takes? If you criticize Trump, Hollywood's not going to out you because you just read a bunch of fake news
Starting point is 00:45:01 articles that are giving accounts of Kevin's rape or his pedophile accusation. But the thing he gets charged for in court has nothing to do with pedophilia. So it's like, why are these guys getting... They're the scapegoats, long story short. Isn't that weird, though? Because you know who I'm talking about when I say there's a bunch of people in Hollywood that are literally, like, procuring boys from other states as we speak and then fucking them in hotel rooms on the weekends.
Starting point is 00:45:32 But Hollywood doesn't care about them. They're just going after people who didn't speak out against Trump. All right. Thank you. I'll comment on it, Jacob. Thank you for the call. All right. Thank you. I'll comment on it, Jacob. Thank you for the call. We don't know that. We don't know. I don't know that Harvey Weinstein has never criticized Trump or Spacey. I think we can find that out. Harvey Weinstein goes back and forth politically. He plays you know, he's a power player. He'll go. Yeah, he'll shut his mouth.
Starting point is 00:46:05 And if he thinks, you know, he knows where the power is or whatever. So, but as far as being the, you know, the face of the hashtag MeToo movement, Weinstein is, I would say, isn't he? I know Matt Lauer and Charlie Rose and everybody else who has a car, Les Moonves and whatever. But it started with Weinstein. It blew the lid off this whole thing. and whatever but it started with weinstein it blew the lid off this whole thing but i'm sure we can find criticism uh of trump by these two guys somewhere if we if we looked hard enough so you might be looking for a conspiracy where there is none but i i get your point the other ones right out there and fucking uh you know but uh he sounds like i said it reminds me of cosby all this you know he he's out of control.
Starting point is 00:46:46 And his brother, I read this article a couple weeks ago. His brother, they interviewed him. He says, my brother's probably on an island. He was on an island. They said he was on an island somewhere. Who knows where. And he said he's probably taking part in the behavior that got him in trouble. And he doesn't give a shit.
Starting point is 00:47:03 And he's a pompous. This is his brother talking. Who knows? His brother could be a scumbag. But I don't trouble. And he doesn't give a shit. And he's a pompous. This is his brother talking. Who knows? His brother could be a scumbag. But I don't know. And these are allegations. But I'm sorry. I'm going out on a limb.
Starting point is 00:47:13 It's the same story after story after story. I didn't even read the. There was five more of them. So, I mean, there's a pattern developing. You know. So. Anyways, enough of that. i feel filthy talking about it yeah i can uh cheer you up with some super chats oh yeah that'll that'll do it read them slow now
Starting point is 00:47:33 all right so i can understand you go ahead right all right patrick door says i rented true romance for tonight can't wait have you ever seen it before? Doesn't say. Probably not. Pat, you're in for a fucking... That was Tarantino's best. As good as Pulp Fiction. I like a little better than... And I love Pulp Fiction. But I thought that was even better. Go ahead. Alright. Crash Hand dropped a sick
Starting point is 00:47:58 50. Love your show, Nick. And when will you be back on Anthony's show? I guess he's referencing Anthony Cumia. You guys are so great together. i thought he's talking about anthony newly um yes uh cumia sent me a text saying merry christmas yesterday hadn't heard from him in a while so i gotta get back on there okay gotta get back on there it's it's good when i plug and i work around here and he makes me laugh as hard as anybody and he's not this fucking racist that everybody's making him out to be it's such fucking nonsense um he's actually a smart funny uh guy and uh gotta get back the only problem is
Starting point is 00:48:37 his show sort of collides with mine you know he doesn't work on friday either that's my day off his show is in the fucking city my his show starts is from like four to six or four to seven that's you know prime hours here when i'm preparing and we start at six so i'll figure something out i'll make him do a noontime show on a saturday if i have to far as arty lang i know i brought him up and uh what guys what's the matter what's not going on over there? I just realized Crash Hand donated N-OK dollars. They're not pounds. They're not American.
Starting point is 00:49:11 They're N-OK. I don't know what that means. Knowing you're reading, those are Nokia dollars. N-OK? Yeah. I don't know. Can you type them back and ask? Probably some type of Bitcoin. I don't know. I got type them back and ask? Probably some type of Bitcoin.
Starting point is 00:49:28 I don't know. I got one more. Oh, you do? Good. Hurry up. Mike Rossi dropped a wonderful 100. Wonderful 100. Merry Xmas, Nick.
Starting point is 00:49:41 I hope you got to plow the North 40 a few times. I don't know what that means. By the way, I just sold my business, and I want to be your first super fan guest ever. I'll sit in between the twigs and keep them in line. I could use a laugh and teach those two pencil necks a thing or two. Name your price. Mike,
Starting point is 00:49:56 I've met you. You scare me a little bit. You're not coming to my house. It's going to be a lot more than $100. I tell you what, Mike. You just called the twinks the twigs, which is much funnier, and it's now your new names. It's the twigs. Mike, that was a mistake on your part, but you know what?
Starting point is 00:50:15 It's going to stick. It's hilarious. The twigs. Anyhow, can I move on? That's it? You don't have a little girl in a wheelchair that wants a um crash hand just said it's a norwegian kroner yeah well you keep that kroner fella kroner don't give me a bona that's a hip-hop player i like my cash in mustache kroner gave
Starting point is 00:50:39 me a bona all right next story did you guys see this video this sent chills up my asshole at least 429 dead in indonesian tsunami as residents warned to remain vigilant yeah thanks for the warning as my neighbors are floating by in their lawn chairs a lot of fucking help that does authorities issued new warnings on the grim anniversary remember the 2004 earthquake and tsunami killed a staggering 230 000 people across 14 that was already 14 15 years ago uh i'm gonna be dead in 10 minutes it's scary how fast life's going the latest tsunami spawned by the side of a volcano it was spawned by the side of a volcano. It was spawned by the side of a volcano slipping into the ocean. Follows one triggered by a quake that struck just three months
Starting point is 00:51:30 ago on Indonesia's Sulawesi Island. That temblor and tsunami killed an estimated 2,100 people. On Wednesday, Indonesian authorities warned that the continued eruption of Anak Krakatau, or Child of Krakatau, could trigger additional tsunamis. According to Singapore's Straight Times newspaper, on Tuesday, a fresh eruption at the Anak Krakatau volcano sent residents fleeing from coastline areas. Locals and officials alike in Samoa, among the areas worst hit by the tsunami, scrambled for higher ground after hearing a booming sound at about 2.40 p.m. local time. Those poor bastards are living.
Starting point is 00:52:07 Their nerves are just frayed. Somebody farts and they're breaking out the umbrellas and shit. Somebody spills a glass of water and you get beat silly by your... In the wake of the last tsunami, Indonesian President Joko Widodo... I'm not making it up. Joko Widodo. I'm not making it up. Joko Widodo. Who'd you vote for?
Starting point is 00:52:31 Joko Widodo! Who you vote for? Joko Widodo! Has promised a new early warning system by next year. They're going to put Hillary Clinton out in a couple of floaties, and when she tips over, get the fuck off the beaches! A spokesman for Indonesiaonesia's national disaster management agency says the country tsunami warning system has been broken since 2012. once again once again government in action for you folks
Starting point is 00:52:57 it's been broken for seven and how many people died because of lack of funds, passing ships, striking the warning buoys, and vandalism. How do you vandalize the warning system for tsunamis? What are you doing? These third worlders. But did you guys, this is creepy.
Starting point is 00:53:20 I'll get to it in a second. I know you saw this because unbelievable footage. Rock band 17, was the name of the the group was playing its second song of a set when a wave burst through the backdrop behind the stage crashed into the drama his drum set and other musicians and swept the temporary stage into the audience a video posted on YouTube show the tsunami slamming into the stage erected on Tenjin, Lusung Beach
Starting point is 00:53:46 on the Java Coast where the band was performing at a gathering for families of employees of Perseshan Listrik Negara, the state electricity company. Not exactly a big paying gig, I'm guessing.
Starting point is 00:53:59 I'm doing something for Con Ed on Jones Beach next month. I think I'm going to cancel. Look at this footage. this is fucking frightening man what the fuck now it's weird that doesn't do it justice it almost looks fun it's like whoa a big wave swept us into the balcony but it was on a beach that wave was like 65 feet tall i could throw it on my head. Senior in high school, we went to Fort Lauderdale for spring break.
Starting point is 00:54:51 I remember I had about 12 drinks a week. We were body surfing. And it's like 6 o'clock. The winds are picking up. I got thrown on my fucking head by a wave that was a couple feet taller than me. And I got knocked silly. I can't imagine a 65-foot wave. Holy shit. When I was nine, I got thrown by a tenor in Ocean City.
Starting point is 00:55:11 I landed on my stomach. I got speared by the board. A tenor? A ten footer. Oh, I thought you meant a singer. Yeah, I got impaled by a... I thought a fucking opera star was at the beach with you. So this skinny fuck's bugging me.
Starting point is 00:55:24 Oh. And you get impaled by a board? Yeah, by my board. Just right in my stomach. I started puking immediately. Seriously? Yeah. How could the people tell the difference between you and the board?
Starting point is 00:55:38 You're about the same thickness, color. You both have wax coming out. Wax coming out of her ears? That made no sense, Nick. nick i know but listen to this in a telephone interview with indonesia's tv1 which i subscribe to terrific recipes on there um listen to this lead vocalist rifean ifan uh just okay kevin jones let's call him no let's call him ifan said they were they were there were two songs into this set when the wave struck. It was difficult to see in the dark, he told
Starting point is 00:56:07 the TV station, but he could hear cries around him and make out flailing hands as people tried to stay above water. As the noises around him faded, he said, he thought that the concert goers around him had drowned and that he may be next. Imagine how frightening. I don't think I could make it to the beach line, he said.
Starting point is 00:56:24 I feel I am really in the sea and about to die. He tried fruitlessly to swim against the rushing water, but salvation came in the form of a floating box. No, that's not a sexual. He latched onto it and used it to swim to a tree. Half an hour later, with the water receding, he climbed down from the tree covered in scratches. He had one singular thought.
Starting point is 00:56:46 I have to find my band family as well as my wife. Anybody want to point out what's wrong with that? Typical lead singer for a rock band. Got to find my band family and, oh, my wife. Bet you she fucking shit her britches when she read that you're looking for your basis before me i make your sandwiches not he said that the band had already lost their basis muhammad awal of perbani um and their manager oki wajaya he's the only one alive, the story I read today. It was later put a guitarist, Herman Sickbang,
Starting point is 00:57:29 and crew member, Ujang, were among those who died. 220 people died or whatever, 220 that night. More than 200, no, it's over 400 now. But can you imagine? It looks, that doesn't do it justice. I mean, you know what I mean? It looks like, I don't know, upstairs toilet busted. A little bit of awful.
Starting point is 00:57:51 I'm just saying. It was like, whoa, pull back the blankets. But how about if you're in that audience, you don't know how to swim. How about those people? But once again, who's to blame? The government. Oh, the fucking tsunami detect has been busted for about, we'll get around to it.
Starting point is 00:58:11 Just play one last song here. We'll fix it. That's two stories today where the government was to blame. I don't remember the first one. Was that the beginning? Oh, the Santa who killed his two little kids. They farmed, buried in the backyard. The cops had checked on them or social services too, you know, prior to that.
Starting point is 00:58:31 Didn't see anything up with a guy that looks like Patton Oswalt foaming at the mouth and pictures of Cub Scouts all over his headboard. But no, everything looks good here. So to lighting things up the fifty norwegian crowns that that guy gave us uh... equals five dollars and seventy one cents while that changes everything said next our casually we only take american here okay
Starting point is 00:59:00 am i gonna go to the bank with my crowns and i convert them online? Get some information there. I think YouTube converts them to USD for us. Seriously? Yeah. Is that another theory of yours? What was your opinion earlier on the show, Ryan?
Starting point is 00:59:17 What opinion? I don't know. You said something. And I said, really? How do you figure that? And you had no answer. Anyways, go back to finishing your popsicle. Oh, yeah. And I said, really? How do you figure that? And you had no answer. Anyways, go back to finishing your popsicle.
Starting point is 00:59:25 Hiya. Dan in Ottawa, Canada. Trump Christmas dinner. He won a bet with his grandmother over whether Trump will still be in power by now. Danny boy. Nikki, how you doing? So your grandmother's anti-Trump. I'd say you kick her right in the fucking bony ass. Your thoughts? Yeah, grandmother's anti-Trump. I'd say you kick her right in the fucking bony ass. Your thoughts?
Starting point is 00:59:47 Yeah, she's 83 years old. Oh, no, don't do that. She had a bet with me that he would not be... Sorry. Go ahead. She had a bet with me he'd not be empowered by now. Of course I won. She's over the table giving me shit.
Starting point is 01:00:01 He's a loud mouth. He doesn't know what he's saying. I'm showing her a picture um a meme of melania compared to michelle obama and it says beauty and the beast uh that's kind of mean but i mean i you know i i gotta agree with you melania's got it all and i'll look michelle's a piece of ass if you're from the hood. And, you know, you want to bang somebody who looks like, again, a strong safety for the Broncos. Yeah, if you're into 18-inch ankles, you know. Our father. Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name, a thick-ankled dog face.
Starting point is 01:00:37 You tell your grandmother. Nicky, when are you coming to Ottawa, man? When am I coming to Ottawa? Probably when I get chased out of the States by the FBI and I need a place to hide. Ottawa might be one of my places. Okay, so February? I've been to Ottawa. I did comedy in Ottawa when I did the Just for Laughs Festival. We did a national tour and started in Ottawa, actually.
Starting point is 01:00:58 The Nasty Show. It was me, Etel, Doug Stano, Plenty Cloud, Killer Show. And I liked it very much. I'll get up there. If not Ottawa, I'll come. How far is Niagara Falls from Ottawa? Three hour drive. All right. Well, you missed me a couple weekends ago, but I'll get up there.
Starting point is 01:01:19 I get bills to pay. Do that, Nicky. And take it easy on the Twinks. They're good kids. They're great kids, but they're really assholes if you meet them in person. They're very fucking arrogant. All right. See you, Danny. Why does
Starting point is 01:01:34 this take it easy on the Twinks? Did you guys grow up with a fucking gay dad? When I fucked up, I was told about it. And you know what? They have no problem with it. I've got a couple of those. Oh, you go too rough.
Starting point is 01:01:47 But look at them. Look at these kids. They're from the hard streets of fucking Westchester County. Look, that's a gang sign. Did you just see Jason put up his gang sign? You know what that means? Anybody in his gang had a 4.0 in fucking college. Oh, no.
Starting point is 01:02:03 It was a W for white. You had four fingers up. Oh, okay.. Oh no, it was a W for white. You had four fingers up. Oh, okay, there you go. It's a W for white. Now you're going to get thrown off the fucking... All the shit I said. But you have to do
Starting point is 01:02:14 a fucking white power sign. I'm not even white. You guys know that. I did the fucking 23andMe and 22 of those people were, you know, Moors who raped my great-great-great-grandmother.
Starting point is 01:02:24 I'm a half an eggplant. Oh, who's watching? Who said they're watching Tromance? Pat? Is it Pat? Where do you see that scene, Pat? Between Dennis Hopper and Christopher Walken talking about their ethnic heritage.
Starting point is 01:02:40 It's one of the best scenes in any movie ever. All time. Let's move on, shall we? Excuse me. Toothpick time. ICE releases hundreds of migrants in Texas over Christmas. Why? Why?
Starting point is 01:03:01 Why'd they do that? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why'd they do that? Why? Ice released 440 migrants over Christmas, okay? Rep Beto O'Rourke, Democrat, Texas, who lost his Senate bid to incumbent Republican Teddy Cruz, is cited in the stories being instrumental in making sure ICE informs city officials of impending releases.
Starting point is 01:03:35 Yeah? Is that what you do? As a result, nonprofits were a bit more prepared for the large intake. Look, they're trying to put a positive spin on this idiot. They're coming from immigration cells, so they're coming hungry, they're coming thirsty. Most haven't bathed in a long time. They could be coming from Detroit. What? The situation is really difficult for them,
Starting point is 01:03:55 Dylan Corbett, Executive Director of Hope Border Institute, said. The report also includes comments from Ingrid. How do we know they didn't just make this up? The report also includes comments from Tommy and Marie and John and Ringo. The report also includes comments from Ingrid, who is from Honduras. And listen to this,
Starting point is 01:04:20 brought her four-year-old son with her to the U.S. border. And this is her quote. I mean, it's unreal. like a dream, Ingrid said. They gave us clothes, food, everything. I really didn't expect this. Thank you so much. That's exactly what you expected. That's why you're coming over here.
Starting point is 01:04:36 You're going to get shit for free if you get in. You know that. Don't play dumb with me, Ingrid. I've seen your kids wearing $400 Nikes. Okay, $400 Nikes. Okay. $180 Nikes. What do you think? They're going to turn the hoses on you?
Starting point is 01:04:54 I guess you've been watching the Adam's apple at MSNBC and hillbilly fucking. I fucked my cousin, Joe Scarborough eyes. Uh, we're compassionate nation. That's why we're letting half the world in here. That's why there's 22 million people living here illegally. Really close to the 30, they say. And that's from a report out of Yale. A real right-leaning school, by the way.
Starting point is 01:05:16 So there's no more compassionate place on the planet. Stop listening to the leather nipple, Nancy Pelosi, dickweed Chuck Schumer. Ugh. Here's a statement from ICE. After decades of inaction by Congress, the government remains severely constrained in its ability to detain and promptly remove families with no legal basis to remain in the United States to mitigate the risk of holding family units past the time frame allotted to the government. ICE has curtailed reviews of post-release plans from families apprehended along the Southwest. But in other words, we can't hold them.
Starting point is 01:05:52 They're overrunning us. You can only hold them so long. So let's release them into the fucking, you know, and let's put the taxpayers, the U.S. citizens at risk. Okay? That's what they're doing.
Starting point is 01:06:10 Even still. Curtailing reviews of post-release plans from families, curtailing them. That means cutting them short. ICE continues to work with local and state officials and NGOs. That's not a racial thing. That's non-governmental organization.
Starting point is 01:06:32 Partners in the area so they are prepared to provide assistance with transportation and other services. Yeah, what other services is that? It says migrants in the story, but are they just migrants? Are they illegals? I mean, we're talking about ICE in the story, but are they just migrants? Are they illegals? I mean, we're talking about ICE in the story,
Starting point is 01:06:48 so see, eventually when they detain, you're supposed to give ICE a heads up when they're going to be released. Those twigs in there are laughing at something. I don't know what it is. I think they're watching another podcast. No, we're watching gay porn. Are you really?
Starting point is 01:07:09 Oh. He looks like he's 11 today. You are a sandusky wet dream. A picture of actual ice in the preview window. Now you guys say I go hard on them. That's a firing offense on a comedy show. You mention ice and somebody puts a picture of ice cubes up. He could have went with a couple of black rappers.
Starting point is 01:07:35 He didn't even do that, which would have fit the show's narrative a little more. He went with ice cubes. But I'm going to let it slide. It's a day after Christmas. I don't want these. They'll be fucking homeless. Yeah, we weren't going to do it slide. It's a day after Christmas. I don't want these. They'll be fucking homeless. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:46 Yeah, we weren't going to do it. We held it up in the preview, but we didn't put it up. Yeah, but you did. After you called us out on it. I know. All right, kids. Go back to fucking watching gay porn. I'd rather you're watching gay porn than pulling up ice cube pictures.
Starting point is 01:08:02 That was as gay as gay porn. I got to be honest with you Jason finally tonight let's go to Mike Rossi he's got deep pockets he's from Rhode Island he sells some good weed up there I bought some
Starting point is 01:08:14 I think it was in West Warwick what's up Rossi West Warwick what's up Nick what's happening when I saw your stand upup, it was fucking hilarious. I was so fucked up. I had like six Long Island ICs.
Starting point is 01:08:31 All I'm trying to do is not smash my forehead off the bar. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Mike, Mike, Mike. Don't judge me on that alone. No, I'm not. I'm not. But, Mike, you keep... We can hear you, and then you fade out, and then we can hear you.
Starting point is 01:08:42 Try to keep the phone near your mouth. I'm in the middle of my street trying to get a satellite signal nick i i do everything i can for you all right so look hey here's the other thing if you want i'll be more than happy you can blindfold me on the state border right and you can take me to your residence and i can sit there with a twig like an ISIS soldier and you can send me, ship me the fuck out after you're done. Alright, I'll kick it around, Mike. Let me kick it around.
Starting point is 01:09:16 Hey, yeah, throw it around. Alright, thanks, Nick. Merry Christmas. He reminded, you know why I'm scared to have him? He reminded me of me. He had a fucking really down, negative fucking vibe coming on. It was like a rain cloud pulled into the bar area and took a big fucking shower on me and left. But he had that Rhode Island, Massachusetts. I can't explain it. You have to be from there. It's a combination. Rhode
Starting point is 01:09:42 Island is like a boil on the ass of Massachusetts. And I live in Rhode Island. It's actually a beautiful state. But I'm just saying he had that personality, that New England saltiness with a side order of fucking bummer. But you know what? Fucking great guy came out to see me live and I could tell he was sloshed.
Starting point is 01:10:01 Six Long Island iced teas. Long Island iced, what are you, stuck in 1982? Then I had a couple of Harvey Wallbangers and a Manhattan. Long Islands are my favorite drink. You still like them? Yeah, still. Well, of course. If you're going to touch a fucking underage kid, you better be sloshed.
Starting point is 01:10:22 You probably, you lure the kids into the house with fucking the umbrellas in the drink all right back to the show how's your tits out there you fuck stains uh donald trump i'm all alone poor me this is a tweet on christmas eve in the white house waiting for the democrats this is his tweet to come back and make a deal on desperately needed border security i love it he is not back and on the president spent most of the morning on the dumper belly laughing at Fox news. No, the president spent most of the morning on the social media platform, urging Democrats to pass a funding bill for national security after the government shut down on Friday. And boy, did you feel the ramifications when they shut that government? I was frozen in time. I wanted to leave the house and I didn't know if the mail was coming in. I just, could I go to the supermarket? Are the
Starting point is 01:11:10 meatballs still, do they still sell chicken when the government shuts down? Everything's government approved. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen. I stood in my living room on the underwear for almost 27 hours. And then my wife said, everything's fine. So anyways, the House of Reps passed a continuing resolution to keep the government open with $5 billion in funding. What a fucking scam.
Starting point is 01:11:34 And remember this, folks. The government shuts down throughout the year. Sometimes they shut down without telling us for operational shit and formal stuff. They don't even tell us
Starting point is 01:11:43 and it shuts down. And, ooh, it's shutting down right before Christmas? Oh, no. They passed a five-day, whatever. This shit bores me. But the Senate refused to vote the legislation forward shutting down the government. Trump remained at the White, and I'm glad they did.
Starting point is 01:12:02 We're throwing this in Chuck Schumer's hands and Pelosi's hands because every poll says the fucking people want the wall and we know yes I know the wall is just symbolic but you won't let us guard it with actual rifles and shoot people and shit we can't use drones and spray them with poison and shit so you know what build a wall just to bust your balls
Starting point is 01:12:19 I don't give a shit if it's made of Legos at this point 50 feet high with Legos and smear it with cream cheese. Nobody's getting over that point. He says at some point the Democrats not wanting to make a deal will cost our country more than the border while we are talking about Trump wrote crazy talking about himself. He reminded the United States that Democrats used to support border security, but desperately want to keep him from a political victory.
Starting point is 01:12:48 And he's right. They have flip-flopped on this issue. Here's a little bit of, I think it's Obama and Chuck Schumer. Here's how they felt about border security a few years ago, as opposed to- I mean, fuck you and your bone spurs. No, no, no, Jace.
Starting point is 01:13:03 No. Wow. Jace is having- Fuck you and your bone spurs. No, no, no, Jace. No. Wow. Jace is having a fuck you and your bone... Thanks for giving the reveal to the final story away. I'm sorry. Wow. Do you have the... Go ahead.
Starting point is 01:13:17 In fact, that's the real amnesty. Pretending we can deport 11 million people or build a wall without spending tens of billions of dollars in taxpayer money, is abetting what is really just factually incorrect. It's not going to work. The President. The President.
Starting point is 01:13:36 The President. The President. The President. The President. The President. The President. The President. The President.
Starting point is 01:13:44 The President. The President. The President. The President. The President. some badly needed funding for better fences and better security along our borders. And that should help stem some of the tide of illegal immigration in this country. What? Senator McConnell wanted me to negotiate the wall with President Trump. I said to him two things. First, it's not a negotiation. No wall. And second, I said, only you can persuade him that he shouldn't do the wall because it'll cause a government shutdown.
Starting point is 01:14:07 Illegal immigration is wrong. And a primary goal of comprehensive immigration reform must be to dramatically curtail future illegal immigration. Second, operational control of our borders through significant additional increases in infrastructure, technology, and border personnel must be achieved within a year of enactment. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. do you hear that did you hear the about face oh because Donald Trump's asking for it they didn't believe it when they said it fucking back in 2009 either or 16 with Obama they're full of shit open borders is what they want because it's power is what they want where's the power well the future of the country's brown okay we got to let them brown people put that fucking simple
Starting point is 01:15:04 two-faced motherless fucks. And God bless Trump. That's all I get to say on this. Don't budge. Keep the government shut. Prove the point. Keep it shut down for a year. Nothing will change.
Starting point is 01:15:16 You'll get your fucking snail mail a day later. Instead of the usual week, it'll take fucking eight days. How can you be afraid of a government? How can you? afraid of a government? How can you? Oh, my God. I can't take it anymore. All right.
Starting point is 01:15:33 That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Hope you had a good. Bobby Feroci, again, thank you so much. And Gay Clifton, but Feroci especially. That was ridiculously generous. And I hope some of that rubs off of me. Hey, do we have the funding wall link? can we can we throw that up there jace i know you're having a tough day and you'll probably put up some 1-800 leather slap my ass gofundme.com uh forward slash the trump wall i was gonna like we were thinking about doing it to my PayPal thing, but it's much easier.
Starting point is 01:16:05 Just do it. I'm going to do it. Couldn't afford it before Christmas because Kingsford charcoal is like 20 bucks a pound. I had 12 stockings to fill. Anyways, gofundme.com slash the Trump wall. Send some money. We're trying to verify Tony Sirico, a.k.a. Pauly Walnuts. We can't find anything saying that he donated $50,000.
Starting point is 01:16:29 Try to find that for tomorrow. We got a picture of him flexing when he was young. Go ahead. The wall is at $17,351,872. 17 mil? 17 mil. And he wants five bills, so we're a little behind schedule.
Starting point is 01:16:44 Anyways, donate as much as you can. And again, I agree. At this point, it's sort of symbolic. There's other ways to protect, but if you can't use guns and hurt people, let's be fucking honest, we're not serious. You think one person climbing over one of those three, somebody get picked off? You think anybody else would try it? It's that simple.
Starting point is 01:17:05 And again, get a sniper and it doesn't have to be a real bullet. Just a rubber one. Just something that hurts enough for him to fall off the wall. Seriously, it is that frigging easy. That sounds outrageous. You want to use guns to protect your bullet?
Starting point is 01:17:20 Yes. Yes. I don't care. Line up a thousand Toyota pickup trucks with fucking wacky white guys from Alabama. I don't care. Line up a thousand Toyota pickup trucks with fucking wacky white guys from Alabama. I don't give a shit. Let's have some fun with it, shall we? That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
Starting point is 01:17:36 We will be here. Well, we'll be at Patreon. You guys subscribe to Patreon. You should go to nickdip.com. You can get tomorrow's show. But we'll be back here on Friday with another streaming show, Jace? Yeah. We'll be streaming live again on YouTube and Facebook.
Starting point is 01:17:51 And at the end of next month, January, like I said, I'm going out to do Rogan's show. And also Dave Rubin. I'm drawing a blank. Dave Rubin that Monday. Dave Rubin the following Monday. And he is starting something with, and this is in public, so I can say it. It's in that we read it right online. Him and Jordan Peterson are starting to think about starting something, a platform of their own for guys like us. So, but so far, so good with Patreon. So I'm not
Starting point is 01:18:21 going to give them any guff either. All right, that is it. Remember, you think it. I will say it. You're welcome. I'm going to go have another slice of lasagna and lay down like a pregnant woman. Bye-bye, everybody. © B Emily Beynon Thanks for watching!

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.