The Nick DiPaolo Show - Hidin' Biden On 9/11 | Nick Di Paolo Show #1453
Episode Date: September 11, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Biden hiding on 9/11, Youngkin to the rescue and more! Today’s episode is sponsored by DraftKings! Support the podcast & download the... DraftKings Sportsbook app. New customers can bet just $5 & take home $200 instantly in bonus bets. Use code NICKDIP to sign up. https://www.draftkings.com/mobileapps Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 My vagina's angry.
It is.
It's pissed off.
My vagina.
Hey, what one is it?
All right, fellas?
Hey, fellas, are you there?
Welcome, Monday.
Fuck it, suicide day.
Nice week ahead of me.
I'll be on four different planes.
What, I'm not going to come home with AIDS and monkey pox and COVID-48?
Fuck.
My brother just took a whirlwind vacation with his wife, a cruise. He went to Barcelona, all over Italy, Malpy Coast, the whole
Pompeii, the whole spiel. And he was on the plane, the plane that the lady had diarrhea on,
not on that flight, but that plane, that exact equipment. So he used the
bathroom, that lady, oh God, it would have been funny if he got the shits from that. No, it
wouldn't have. Anyways, yeah, so I'll be on four different planes. I've been doing it 36 years, but
it means a lot. I want to see, I'll say it again, folks, have a great time on stage while I'm murdering.
That's about 2% of these road trips.
The rest of it's sitting in terminals, listening to fat bucks, people snoring on the plane, stinky feet,
all the other horseshit that comes with it.
After 36 years, you can only jack off so much.
You know what i'm saying
if i ever murder somebody they're going to trace dna from 1995 across the country back and forth
every luck came to end
anyways uh we'll get to maybe the weekend sports later on in the show but uh because i don't want
to make this as people tune in the first four minutes for sports every, uh, you know, but it was interesting, both college and NFL. And, uh,
let's go, uh, let's go to the first story. Hayden Biden. Uh, well, what does that mean?
Joe Biden said to miss the that's today, by the way. Uh, let me, yeah, 9-11. Again, condolence to,
horrible, horrible day
in American history.
So keep those families in mind.
My sister Donna,
her best friend in high school
was the first person killed.
She was a flight attendant
for the first plane.
I think she was stabbed to death.
Can you fucking,
that's when it, you know. But anyways,
I don't know if,
are they doing the commemoration again where they call
out the name? I have a different opinion
on that. I say move on.
Let's commemorate it, but you can't wallow
in your own pity.
You know what I mean? When I saw that we didn't build
two towers, that's when I went, uh-oh. Things have changed. You know what I mean? When I saw that we didn't build two towers, that's when I went, uh-oh.
Things have changed.
You know what I mean?
I just, anyways, sad day.
Young people, you probably don't feel the impact,
but, you know, I'd tell you it was like Pearl Harbor,
but that wouldn't help you.
Let me see.
Oh, it's like when Harry Styles
was getting hit in the balls
when somebody threw a.
Anyways, Biden set to miss today's 9-11 memorial service in New York.
Oh, no, actually yesterday, as the White House is said to be limiting his public appearances in order to avoid what else?
Gaps. What are we doing? No idea. What's going on right now?
Peggy Grand,
former long-term advisor to Ronald Reagan,
apparently sleeps in a hyperbolic chamber
because, uh, hyperbolic?
I don't think that's right.
That's hyperbole.
Whatever.
We know what you mean.
You know what I mean.
A hypothermic Joe Rogan bit.
I don't know.
One of those smart bits.
Anyway, supposedly she worked for Reagan in the 80s.
She must have been a fetus.
Dallas says this is a current picture and looks like we scour the internet.
So she's had a lot of work done.
But that picture's just,
anyways, what am I saying? Yummy vittles. Piggy pig. Peggy Graham, former long advisor to Reagan, told GB News, that's a Packers, I guess, have their own network now, that
the White House has taken a basement strategy approach, keeping him tied to a boiler.
Throwing him baloney every three days.
Keeping out of the public eye. She noted
that the more he's been in the public eye, the
lower he
drops in the polls.
But you guys keep plugging him in. And you
media keep, you know, cheering him on, you
fucks. It's the media, by the way.
I know that Dems just marks his pieces
of shit, that whole. But the media, you are the cancer.
And when the shit goes down and people start getting slaughtered, I hope it's you first.
Grande, or Grant, said that an appearance from Biden would also remind the public that 9-11 families have certainly been ignored.
While Biden has said he will be observing the anniversary at a military base in Alaska.
Okay. Grande said the White House may be preparing to announce that he isn't going at all. I don't
know if that's been announced. Here he is trying to pick a city to go to. She explained in the past
they've said it would be easier for him to do stuff on Zoom.
So I honestly think, I like to let him do it on Zoom, but let him figure out the technology.
Let's do that and see what happens.
All of a sudden, it'll cut to him watching puppies do tricks and shit.
So I honestly, she says, I think they're laying the foundation for him not even show up.
When asked if this is going to increase as time goes on, she said, yes, we've seen it
increasingly over the last six months to the last year.
That's what they've been doing.
You are correct, sir.
Lady.
We've seen major cognitive decline with the president.
I mean, when you have your shoes on the wrong feet and take a dump on a fucking buffet table when you're in Vietnam being honored,
his physical capacities are much more limited.
Grande explained that the White House is trying to avoid repeat of the Medal of Honor ceremony
when the president walked out early instead of standing on the stage.
Here he is in, folks, this one will send shivers up your ass.
Wait, is this the, we got two of him?
Yeah, just the one.
Just the one.
Dudes, dudes, ladies, things in between.
Watch this and fucking,
Jinping is beating his meat watching this.
It's like porn to him going,
should we move in on Thursday or next week to the United States?
Watch this asshole.
Nobody. Oh, the energy.
Likes having celebrated. He's out of breath. International meetings.
If you don't know what you want. This is cruel to him. If you don't have a game,
he may have a game plan. What's your game plan? He hasn't shared it with me.
Clean your panties.
But I tell you what,
I don't know about you,
but I'm going to go to bed.
Yeah, we talked about it
at the conference overall.
We talked about stability.
You better get him out of there.
He's like a pitcher who just gave up 10 runs in a third of an inning.
The Southern Hemisphere had access to change.
It wasn't confrontational at all.
Third world, he said.
Thank you, everybody.
This ends the press conference.
Thanks, everyone.
Thank you.
Wow.
Boy, it just smells like leadership doesn't it holy christ i know chemo patients that have more energy than that i really don't but i'm
just saying i'm guessing did you ever see such a display of uh and again jill you're a dirty dirty
hoary woman to let your husband go through this, you power-hungry slut.
But you know what?
He deserves it.
It's been part of the problem for 50 fucking years.
Let him hang out there to dry.
I can't make up my mind.
Put him in the fucking basement.
Maybe there'll be a carbon monoxide leak.
And you still wouldn't be able to tell the difference.
I feel a little lightheaded.
Hey, Vietnam, I was here.
Was I here? Oh, no, that was lightheaded. Hey, Vietnam, I was here. Was I here?
Oh, no, that was John Kerry.
Third world.
I mean, a shithole.
No, Joe.
Read the...
Was that inspiring or what?
The poor bastard.
I mean, I hate traveling, and I'm pretty good at shit.
He is an ancient 80 years old.
You know, like my wife said, my wife's grandmother is 94.
She still gets on a plane and travels and shit.
She's a gold star mother.
She goes to three parades a day.
She's in the local paper.
Still, I hear my wife talking on the phone.
She's sharper than I am. She's 14 years older than him Still, I hear my wife talking on the phone. She's sharper than I
am. She's 14 years older than him. So what are you saying, Nick? She should be president.
First octogenary broad. First broad, right? Nick, don't talk like that. Like what? They love it.
All right. So yeah, that was delicious. Hey, in the second half of the show, I'm going to be
talking about another example of justice not being blind and favoring lefties.
This one actually involves murder.
It happened a while ago, but the trial thing, the charges came up, whatever.
And I'll be talking about finally somebody on the right has a set of balls, and it's a guy, to stand up to the Marxist governor in New Mexico.
Wait till you hear what she tried to pull as far as going around the Constitution.
It's fucking frightening.
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Youngkin, Youngkin, I can't say that, to the rescue.
Virginia Governor Glenn Youngkin has pardoned the Loudoun County father,
Jesus, I thought they had pardoned him a long time ago, who protested against the sexual assault,
how dare he, of his daughter and her public school's attempt to cover up the incident.
His office announced that he's going to pardon this guy on Sunday, which is...
announced that he's going to pardon this guy on Sunday, which is... This guy seems to have a grasp on reality. Youngkin made the announcement on Fox News Sunday with my future, anyways,
Shannon Bream, saying he had signed the pardon on Friday. The pardon is for Scott Smith,
who was convicted of disorderly conduct in August of 2021 after he erupted at
school board members meeting over there, handling of an investigation into his daughter's attack.
I know you guys all remember. This is where even people on the left said, what's going on here?
Because, see, politics, parents, kids, family, that transcends politics. You can be a lefty. If somebody's messing with your kids, at least most of them.
So this guy, can you imagine your daughter was assaulted by a Tran in a bathroom and
they're coming after him, trying to put him in.
So there's your Biden administration.
You remember this clip.
This is the Youngkin talking.
Oh, this is, I'm sorry, this is Yunkin talking about it with Shannon Brink.
I spoke with Mr. Smith on Friday, and I had the privilege of telling Mr. Smith that I would
pardon him. And we did that on Friday. We righted a wrong. He should have never been prosecuted
here. This was a dad standing up for his daughter. And just to remind everyone, his daughter had been
sexually assaulted in the
bathroom of a school and no one was doing anything about it. And in fact, it took the election of a
new governor, me, and my directive to our attorney general, Jason Meares, to investigate this,
to uncover the fact that the superintendent had in fact covered it up.
He was the best guy around.
He's still around.
Let me say something about Yonking, folks.
Whether he wants to or not,
I think he'll be,
maybe not this election,
but he's going to be around
because he took Virginia,
which was rotting,
went from red to dark blue.
Since he's stepped in,
he's made some progress.
Again, self-made guy, you know, rich as hell, self-made.
Who, you know, they're different people,
because if I had that kind of dough, I'm fishing every day, right?
Shooting fentanyl between my toes and playing darts.
This guy's like, insane with Trump, rich as, no, he's got to,
that's called being a leader.
I don't like it.
The governor went on to emphasize the importance of ensuing... Ensuing, my eyes.
Ensuring that parents have the final say over their children's education.
Youngkin's administration is currently cracking down on Virginia public schools
that are refusing to ethically enforce requirements
that parents be informed if their child expresses any gender confusion.
Imagine the teacher wants to get between you and your kids when it comes to sexuality and gender.
And Youngkin is stepping right in there, God bless him.
Youngkin also addressed simmering rumors that he may be on The Masked Singer next week.
And I don't, what? Cut. That he
may still join the Republican presidential primary, though he made no commitments. He wouldn't hurt.
I got a feeling. Because you look at what's out there, right? I mean, Trump's got hold, maybe it
doesn't matter. But the only thing, you know, Trump's up in the air because of the scumbag lefty prosecuting him.
So he kind of business guy, pretty conservative.
What do I know?
Anyways.
Commie scum headline. A communist revolutionary group burned American flags and chanted anti-U.S. slogans during a disturbing stage protest outside
Jason Aldean concert in Chicago on Saturday night.
Around 20 communist members belonging to Revolution Club Chicago assembled outside Credit Union
One Amphitheater in Tinley Park, shouting phrases like, fuck the United States and all its might as they torch the flags, according to the video shared by News2Share.
Here's a video of, I want you to take note, even before we show the video, see the fat fucking woman on the right with the purple hair?
What's that a sign of?
Anybody, any broad, again, maybe if you're skin and heart, I won't say it. Skinny and hot.
But tub of shit.
Unhappy with their life, so why not blame the government for it?
And that goes for all the scum that's there, by the way.
Go ahead. Go ahead. Yeah, here you go.
Where's the so-called right wing extremists
to put that fire out and beat the fucking shit out of these people?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
I don't want to hear the excuse, yeah, but you'll go to jail.
Well, you might have to.
But otherwise it goes, you know.
I'm not.
No.
The group was also filmed taking jabs at Al Dean's song,
Try That in a Small Town,
labeling the Georgia-born artist's song a piece of fascist shit.
That only 90, yeah, it's only to the top of the
charts and zillions of people agree with it, but you go ahead.
Speaking of small towns, which I consider Savannah, you know, we've got a little car
breaking problem happening right around my neighborhood, too.
We had one, too.
Mm-hmm.
Yeah, so I wonder who's doing that.
I don't know.
Those old white ladies.
That's what I said.
I had one on my ring camera running away.
Her wig blew off.
Anyways, I shot out the ball, the tires on her.
Just like I learned.
Guess what, Jason?
This is the Marxist pieces of shit talking.
We will try that in a small town.
Activist Rafael Caderes with a fucking 11th grade education right there.
We will try that.
Yeah, that's what he said.
You snotty little bastard.
California resident who flew out to the Windy City.
Boy, you got a busy life, don't you? Fuck Sting. Flew out to the Windy City. Boy, you got a busy life, don't you?
Fuck Sting.
Flew out to the Windy City to take part in the protest.
Told the Chicago Tribune, we will try that in a big city.
And we will try it right in front of your concert.
Ooh.
Ooh.
Why didn't you do it?
Why didn't you do it?
You wait till the concert starts.
Why didn't you do it after when all the
Aldine fans are leaving?
Oh, because you're fucking pussies.
That's why.
Anyways, and I hope that fat
girl, I hope she's got a yeast infection.
What am I saying? Hope.
We know.
Diddle herself with a dirty fucking cucumber
for the last ten years. What?
You don't talk like that on TV. I know. It's not TV.
As members of the Revolution Club burned to old glory, law enforcement quickly descended on the protest,
announcing by megaphone the group was unlawfully assembling,
and concertgoers were alarmed and disturbed by their presence.
The video shows, you are disturbing the public peace without the authority of law.
A Tinley Park police officer told the group
through a bullhorn over the chant,
we are ordering you to immediately disperse.
Failure to comply can result in chemical
or less legal conditions for castration being deployed.
The officers warned the group
who chaired at the officers' ultimatum.
The group burned another flag
before finally leaving the area,
following repeated commands and warnings by the police.
The police finally said this.
I didn't think that was necessary, officer.
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