The Nick DiPaolo Show - Horrible Media Hacks Hype White Hate
Episode Date: August 14, 2018FBI Fires Fuck Face...Finally, Fenway - ‘Free To Pee Next To Me’...
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Music Hey!
Ho ho ho!
Yeah!
Here we are on a muggy Monday.
Hey!
How are you folks?
Welcome to the show.
833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425 if you want to call into the show. Treat this just like a regular radio show, which is hard
to do. I think you realize that. So what's going real quick dates for me still my bread and butter
the old stand up comedy
tomorrow night the comedy
cell on McDougal
Wednesday the comedy cell
on McDougal
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Governor's Levittown Long Island
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September 1 the fat black pussycat
Saturday September 8th the fat black Pussycat. Saturday, September 8,
the Fat Black Pussycat.
That's in New York City, around the corner from the
cellar. Friday, September 14,
and Saturday, September 15,
Arlington Draft House in Arlington,
Virginia. Friday, September
21, fast approaching,
Orpheum Theater, Flagstaff,
Arizona. Saturday, September
29, the Fat Black Pussycat.
Go to nickdip.com.
You can see it up there on the screen for ticket information, links, and all that poo-poo.
Shout-outs.
This is a free show, by the way, you know.
We'll do it live.
We'll do it live!
Fuck it! Do it live! I'll write it, and we'll do it live okay we'll do it live fuck it do it live i can i'll write it and we'll do it live
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You get all four shows in the week.
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Had a great week.
Over the weekend, people were signing up.
This is all good stuff.
I can't thank you guys enough.
Let's keep it going, huh? Let's keep it to the point where I can't thank you guys enough. Let's keep it going. Huh?
Let's keep it to the point where I can't leave the house or I'll lose money.
You know, like Pablo Escobar.
I'll tell you how well things are going.
I got my own building.
If you guys want to see what the outside of where I do the podcast looks like, we have a pic of that, don't we, Jace?
Look at that.
That's no bullshit.
That's not Photoshop.
Somebody saw that.
Of course, the Main Walk Kitchen down below
where I get my beef and broccoli.
And the Caribbean convenience store
where I get my jerk chicken in a jar
and my cigars and some good ganja.
That's my black car, the third one in from the left,
right in front of my own building.
Dad, Mom, you didn't think it would happen, huh?
Well, it did.
It happened somewhere.
I don't know who that is.
That must be on an island somewhere,
although that's not a palm tree.
That's a shitty pine tree behind it.
Love to find out where that is.
It's the Nick DiPaolo building, for the love of Christ.
Should be a space between the I and the P.
I'll have to call the superintendent.
That's how good it's going.
833-599-6425.
And what's the big news?
I'm only going to give this first
story a little bit of
juice, because
I don't know, I don't want to give her more publicity than she wants.
You know who I'm talking about, Omarosa, the gold-digging whore who Trump,
this is one of the things where I question his judgment when he hired her in the first place.
And, well, anyways, you know, she got canned, and now she's coming out with a tell-all book.
I don't even know the name of it, Unhinged. I don't know. Maybe I just made that up.
But we know she's a money grubbing gold digging whore. Very attractive, I might add.
Very beautiful woman. And she's just she used to praise Trump, suck his ass, say nothing bad about him ever.
She got fired from The Apprentice a few times and now she's got a book
out so she's got all kinds of dirty secrets and apparently trump's in the n-word during an
apprentice taping and they have that on audio and she hasn't heard it yet but uh she heard it but
she didn't you know wasn't aware of it beforehand and uh all kinds of stuff to sell her book which
will which will disappear everybody will forget about it in
11 minutes and uh the fact that she can write is surprising it's so it's called unhinged an
insider's account of the trump white house okay unhinged an insider's account of the trump white
uh african-american victim inside the most powerful white man's office. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Blah.
But, yeah, she's all over the, you know,
all over every TV show and MSNBC and NBC.
And they laughed at Trump when he hired her.
Now they're, like, taking her word as fucking gold.
And John Kelly is the guy,
chief of staff who fired her brought him to something
called the situation room where uh she serotipus serotipusly oh my god say it jason
serotipusly serotipusly that's right serotipusly recorded uh
john kelly uh with her phone i. When you go into the situation room,
it's the first thing to do.
You're supposed to take your phone away
or you hand it in or whatever.
And this is...
She violated the law,
but nobody gives a shit about that.
She did it because she knows,
because she was the only black woman
in the administration
that eventually the evil white man
would turn on her.
So she was just protecting herself.
And she's got all... We all know she's a camera hog,
a star fucker, and needs all the attention she can get.
And of course, Trump already went after her on Twitter.
Call her a lowlife and blah, blah, blah.
And I'm glad he did.
You people get upset at that.
I'm glad he did.
I'm just like Trump.
I'm the same way.
I told you.
Don't let anything slide.
If I'm at the mall and an eight-year-old girl is giving me the evil eye, I'll ask her what she's looking at.
That's just how...
It's a teachable moment.
So, of course she had to
bite the white hand that feeds her.
Nobody would know who
she is thanks to Trump. But now he's the most
evil fucking guy on the planet
and blah blah blah
on and on it goes
and she said
John Kelly's running the White House
and Trump has no idea what's going on
meanwhile really look at the unemployment rates
and he's such a racist she said
he's such a racist that black unemployment
is at record low so is brown unemployment
and
Trump has doubled his approval ratings
as far as black people go
from 15 to 29% over the last year
since he took office.
So write all the books you want, dummy.
And Chuck Todd's on there just...
She's on all the shows,
softball questions,
and he's such an evil fuck, Chuck Todd.
Meet the press.
What a dick he is.
Ugh.
The point being, that book will be irrelevant in six minutes.
833-599-6425.
Last week I went in to do, you ever hear of Barstool Sports?
They have a podcast slash radio show
called KFC. I took the time
last Friday to drive into the city
on a pouring shitty Friday.
Nightmare traffic. Took me
forever to get there.
Parked my car. I was there an hour. Cost me
40 bucks. That's New York City. Not to mention
gas and tolls. Did the
show with two white guys.
I forget their names.
They're supposed to be edgy.
And by the way, Rita is on phones today.
And Rita?
No, she's not listening.
Anyways.
Okay.
I went into the, so I went in to do podcast kfc podcast and and uh we got into talking
about race and i quoted bill maher when he remember bill margaret in trouble for calling
referring to himself as a house nigger on hbo so we were talking about that so i quoted bill maher
uh and then monday rose along this this uh last monday or Tuesday, and I noticed the show wasn't up.
They said it was going to post then.
So I sent that email.
And the guy gets back to me, one of the producers, saying that they thought it was a little too edgy, the fact that I dropped the N-word, which I didn't.
I was quoting Bill fucking Maher.
Is that where we are, really?
And some of the other stuff was a little over the top.
It was an apologetic tone.
They said, you know, we should have done more research.
We didn't know you hit these issues head on.
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did.
And I knew something was going to go south.
About halfway through the interview, one of them says,
well, you've got to admit, we're lucky to be white, right?
And I said, no, I don't have to fucking admit that.
I've earned everything I've ever earned.
And I can tell they ingested the pc shit they're at that age and the tone kind of changed right there but i don't remember saying anything over the and if i did say anything over
the top it's because i'm a comedian was done obviously in jest but this is another show you
know posing is edgy and whatnot until you get whatnot. I called Hillary a thick ankle lying whore, which she is.
Everything I said was factual.
And again, supposedly edgy podcast or slash radio show, whatever.
But they didn't post it because they said it would be too choppy if they edited all the stuff out.
So, which surprised me.
I did, Cat Temp used to have a podcast on Barstool.
I don't know what happened to that.
I did a few there, too.
And very, very disappointing because I made the effort.
It was a real pain in the ass.
And I want to plug this show.
But it was too too over the top, too scary.
Again, another more evidence of censorship from the other side
so that was kind of a bummer
but
you know stop with that shit
again they were like they're probably in their 30s
or whatever and one of them grew up in New York
and they just
this PC it's in there
how's it going
how you doing folks I didn't want to say something about this This PC, it's in there. How's it going?
How you doing, folks?
I didn't want to say something about this.
Whatever.
I made the effort.
All for naught.
These things happen.
But they shouldn't for those reasons.
What else is going on?
NBC ignores own reporter and crew assaulted by in deeper.
It says in Charlottesville.
It wasn't in late Saturday night.
By the way, did you notice all the coverage?
You know, because the white nationalists had their rally in D.C. this weekend.
And every broadcast Fox News, all of them started with,
on the one-year anniversary of the girl that got killed at Charlottesville.
They kept, one-year anniversary.
They were celebrating it like it was Halloween.
They couldn't mention that enough.
The one-year anniversary.
That's how every story about this white nationalist rally that happened in dc started
nobody mentions the one year anniversary of the five cops who were gunned down in dallas because
of black lives matter in july of 2016 we don't talk about that anniversary that went away after
a few months didn't it but this they're holding on to and can let me can i just say this after that charlesville thing
trump came out remember made his quote and part of the quote was i'm sure there was fine people
on both sides he wasn't talking about the fucking white national supremacist neo-nazi assholes
or antifa he was talking about other people on both sides because there were normal civilians
there at that rally and i'm so sick of for a year now hearing that.
He said there were fine people.
Do you really think he was talking about the people that ended up running over that girl in the car?
Do you really fucking believe that?
They must have said it 18 times.
The one year anniversary.
833-599-6425 is the phone number.
833-599-6425 is the phone number.
Late Saturday night, NBC News reporter Cal Perry and his crew were in the thick of it as Antifa members ganged up on them and attacked.
The next morning, NBC's Sunday Today ignored the attack
and suggested the media was simply heckled, in quotes, by their assaulters.
We have a quick snippet of these people coming after the NBC camera people.
We have a quick snippet of these people coming after the NBC camera people.
There you go.
All right.
What is it?
Fuck you, snitch-ass media bitches.
Okay, that was an NBC guy.
Did they mention it on Meet the Press or any other fucking MSNBC?
Didn't even mention it because they're lying fuckstains.
Fuck you, snitch-ass news bitch. Fuck you, another very eloquent Antifa fella.
Maybe not.
His face wasn't even covered, I don't think.
Things got superheated when one,
and fuck you news bitches,
they tried to pull the camera away.
And again, no mention of it
because that doesn't fit their shitty narrative.
Despite the video evidence on the ground
from their own reporter,
NBC went to Garrett Hockey,
who was at the White House
in anticipation of violence there
as another white supremacist rally was set to be held.
They actually used footage Perry and his crew shot,
but didn't show anything from their attack.
So, you know.
Can you stay counterintuitive?
You are fake news, sir.
Fucking, the assault on NBC's reporter came almost a year
since their political director, Chuck Todd,
that's the guy that hosts
meet the press i never thought i'd long for the days of david gregory
used his msmbc program mtp daily to elevate antifa's violence as a legitimate tactic against
the right he even doubled down and allowed them to use the formerly prestigious meet the press
as a platform to push their hate and violent methods.
Todd has never condemned them.
Of course not.
He's part of the fucking problem.
Todd appeared on Sunday today and had nothing to say about the attack or Antifa, which had been declared a domestic terrorism group by the state of New Jersey before he had them
on the show last year.
Instead of condemning Antifa, he lambasted the president for criticizing anthem protesters and targeted his supporters as racist.
Some real objective reporting there, Chuck.
So I don't, this is a quote from Chuck Todd.
So I don't think if the president's quote learned anything, learned anything.
I think in his mind, he has seen this as an effective political strategy to keep his base his base.
That is the president's continuation
of using to be generous dog whistles.
He's saying that's a generous term,
dog whistles.
Others say they're not so silent.
You can hear the whistles pretty loudly.
You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore,
and you know it.
He's calling everybody out there
that voted for Trump a fucking racist.
This is Chuck Todd, MSNBC, the face of Meet the Press.
You didn't show your cameraman getting attacked, you lying fuck.
I mean, you lying person.
Just as crooked and...
You wonder why the media approval rating is lower than congress you
know how that is to do uh that's it though nbc is i i tried watching sunday i put on the shows i
tried watching for four minutes all of them i switched around everyone on the anniversary
one year anniversary of charlottesville that's how
every one of them said i didn't hear black lives matter mentioned once it's all it's all white
racism from the right and we'll get to the uh we'll get to the rally right now the uh white
nationalists failed to draw crowds on anniversary of deadly... It's even in the headlines, on anniversary of deadly...
They got like 40 people or 20 people or some shit.
Quack, quack, quack, wow.
Quack, quack, quack, wow.
The Unite the Right To rally in the nation's Capitol Sunday
was a complete washout.
The planned white nationalist gathering across from the White House was cut short
when only about 20 supporters showed up to hear
speeches that were overpowered by the chants
of thousands of counter-protesters.
By the way, they're not counter-protesters.
Okay? They're rioters.
We have the footage of them fucking
throwing eggs at the cops
and shit and just
beating up people surrounding cars
and so, but those are counter-protesters.
And do you know why nobody showed up for the white nationalist rally?
You know how you should take from this story?
It's not a threat anymore.
That's about right, 2000 against 20.
Because they're not the media overhyped this thing because Kessler
and his and his people they're not a threat neither was the fucking Klan white supremacy
white nation so dangerous it's all overhyped by the fucking media that's what you should take from it
it.
We have, let's play video three, Jason. I think
this is them against the
cops.
There you go.
There you go.
Oh!
That doesn't even look like a cop spraying that guy.
But they were throwing shit at
the cops and the cops are backing
up, which is the first mistake.
Sometimes I wish we handled it like China
did and Russia would.
What do you mean that? You know what I mean.
At least fight back.
Don't back up on your motorcycles.
Oh, I'm going to spray this one guy
in the eyes.
Rough him up, for Christ's sake.
Then Trump will get blamed for that, too.
But again, 20 white nationalists.
What a power movement.
You guys should be scared shit of the alt-right movement that barely exists.
Anyways, following the rally, a group of about 200 anti-fascist activists, which is hilarious.
That's Antifa.
You know, the people that say, if you don't agree with our politics, we're going to bash you over the fucking head and beat you up.
Because you're a fascist.
Fucking priceless. Yeah, following the rally,
a group of 200 anti-fascists
many wearing black masks
marched around the nation's capital
in the rain
and confronted police officers
who pushed them back.
The riots in Charlottesville
a year ago
resulted in senseless death
and division.
This is Trump's tweet.
We must come together as a nation.
I condemn all types of racism
and acts of violence.
Peace to all Americans, he wrote.
Ooh, let's parse those words.
What did he mean by that?
Why just Americans?
I bet you there's some non-citizens there, too.
You...
I can't say.
Let's go to Oliver in Harrisburg, PA.
Oliver, what's happening? Welcome in Harrisburg, PA. Oliver, what's happening?
Welcome to the show, buddy.
Hey, Nick.
Thanks for having me.
I just want to say, big fan of your work.
Thank you, sir.
You've been following your career for a little while.
Thank you.
I wanted to call in and ask about, you're talking about anti-fund, these rallies and whatnot.
Yeah.
Do you think this is just going to play out in the exact opposite way that they hope, you know,
to see?
Don't you think this will actually get Trump reelected for a second term?
My answer to that kind of behavior.
Well, my answer to that, if we had a fair press and not a corrupt press,
the answer would be yes to that.
But because he's got 90, since he hasn't been elected and they've done polls, 93 percent of the coverage in the mainstream media has been negative on Trump.
They fucking when it comes to race, when it comes to the issue of race, the media is more corrupt than anything for 25, 30 years now, they've been cherry picking stories where a whether it's a white cop shooting an armed black kid or whatever, a or a black is a victim of white crime.
They cherry pick this stories that have created this narrative for the last 35 years that this is such a white racist country.
Meanwhile, plenty of thousands of black and brown people are trying to sneak in from all over the planet.
That's how racist it is but the the answer is no i it might backfire a little bit but as long as the press is 90
against trump they're always going to be in the game don't you think
no absolutely that actually leads me to my next question uh do you think it is possible at this
point in time with technology social media and whatnot to actually get the press to kind of become more neutral?
Or do you think we're in too deep with all this stuff and that there's no way out?
Well, I don't I don't see any way out because the Internet came along and I was hoping that would provide some balance.
But as we see, the Internet is run by leftists, fucking Google and Twitter, Apple, and they hate Trump's guts for the most part.
So I don't know where that balance is going to come from.
You have a little bit from Fox News and you have some conservative talk show hosts.
But I don't I don't see how it's going to how it's going to change.
And there's enough dummies in this country who fucking use the TV as their Bible.
And but if they didn't have that, Oliver, if they didn't have that, they would never fucking even be
in an election. It wouldn't even be competitive
in my opinion.
Thanks for the call, buddy. I appreciate it.
Thank you.
You know what I'm saying?
But Chuck Todd doesn't even show
the NBC camera guys getting attacked
by Antifa. They don't even show
it. They don't even talk about it.
And a lot of these people,
yes, are bussed in by
Soros and company
with his billions. When's that guy
going to kick the fuck off?
I'd like to see somebody sneak up
with him like they did
Kim Jong-un's brother at the airport
with a rag and some perfume on it,
if you know what I'm saying.
Let's go to Cameron in South Carolina.
I want to talk about the riots of last year.
I'm not sure which ones he's referring to.
Cameron, welcome to the show. How are you?
I'm doing well, man. How are you?
Pretty good.
Well, I wanted to mention, it's funny you talk about Soros busing these people in.
I was in Charlotte, North Carolina last year when they burned down the city for three days.
And it was funny because that's all you saw was these white Econoline vans with numbers on the side.
So the shit asses knew what bus to get back into when they were about to get arrested.
It's like limousines sent by Soros.
That's exactly what it is.
But, yeah, man, the media never wants to talk about that stuff.
I mean, they burned the city down for three days and tried to make people pay tolls on roads and stuff like that,
and they never want to talk about that.
Yeah.
And meanwhile, Cameron, this weekend,
20 people, I think, that's what the reports say,
20 people showed up, you know,
supposed white nationalists.
And Kessler said, look, it was about freedom of speech.
It's not even, but it just shows how impotent
this so-called white supremacy movement is.
And Antifa was exposed once again.
They're the violent, scary ones.
They're the fucking left-wing thug, fascist thugs
who literally resort to violence.
They don't want law and order.
They went after the cops.
They're going after the press.
They'll hit anybody who, you know, who they don't like.
So, I mean, this narrative of, you know,
what a white racist, it's just, it never,
the numbers prove that this movement has no legs, right?
That's exactly right.
That's exactly right.
And, you know, the white nationalists,
I mean, they're just doing it because they're fucking bored or something.
I don't know.
But these Antifa people, I mean, they're doing it as a job, as a career.
You know, I mean, they believe in this crap.
And they're just going to hit anyone that disagrees with them.
So, yeah, I totally understand.
Yeah.
Thank you, Cameron, for the call.
They don't, I mean, they're the ones who are out of control.
How much evidence do you goddamn need?
You know?
But, and again, trump gets blamed for it
chuck todd and nbc since trump has become president these white nationalist movements
have become emboldened under him which is so much bullshit they've they've always been marching and
done that shit and i love how he is now the racist under obama i'll get to a poll about race relations what people think in this country
we under obama it couldn't have been any more anti-white with fucking eric holder the most
racist attorney general in history uh whether it's the way they handed baltimore riots ferguson
and then trump comes in and doesn't even just just tries to balance it or push back a little.
And now he's he's deemed, you know, the fucking the racist.
And meanwhile, he's done more for black and brown people than Obama did in eight fucking years.
But let's not talk about those numbers. Chuck Todd and everybody else.
Let's go to I think it's Jim in, uh, South Dakota.
Jim,
welcome to the show.
Hey,
uh,
thanks,
man.
I've been a fan for a long time,
you know,
watching your standup on TV,
comedy central.
I remember back in the day you had a bit about ZZ pop and,
uh,
refusing to get shaved for a commercial.
Oh my God.
You're going back to my, if a commercial. Oh, my God.
You're going back to my... If I remember...
That was my first year in comedy, but go ahead.
Yeah, I just wanted to kind of make a comment on these alt-right figures.
A lot of the reason this whole second event kind of fell apart is because a lot of the
leaders of these organizations are kind of jokes or kind of suspicious on their own.
Like Richard Spencer, for the most part, for a lot of people,
is kind of suspected as being controlled opposition by the government.
If you look up Richard Spencer, I believe it's Laura Bush.
There's a picture of him with Laura Bush and his either past ex-girlfriend
or current wife.
And she's actually from some, I believe,
Russia. And she has a ribbon,
the St. George ribbon, which is sort of
a memorial for Russian
veterans.
Yeah.
A lot of them are just kind of coops.
Yeah, well,
look,
the movie Death of a Nation
Dinesh D'Souza's latest movie
they interview
Spencer
and you know one on one
Dinesh dug really into his political beliefs
and he sounded like a socialist
so it's like you said controlled opposition
I mean he's so full of shit
he's what everybody's scared of
he's the evil white fucking guy.
It was laughable.
Sounded like Tiny Tim.
He's about as much.
Yeah, and a lot of these figures,
they're basically socialists
that just want to be picky
about who they want to be socialists with.
Yeah.
But there's also just some guys
that are kind of unhinged, like I believe his name is Matthew
Heimbach of the Traditionalist Workers Party, who was there last time.
If you see any of these rallies and guys in all black with sort of LARP-y symbols, like
stuff like that, that's usually them.
The TWP, they call themselves.
Christopher Cantwell hung out with them a lot yeah who uh dave smith a comic guest on your old show okay he did
a couple of things with him yeah all right jim yeah uh he uh i just wanted to just a quick story
real quick real quick basically runs his thing like a quick. Basically runs his thing like a cult. Yeah, he runs his thing like a cult, basically,
where he was married to one of his followers' daughters,
but then on the side was banging the same follower's wife
and actually sired what I believe would be his daughter.
All right, we're getting into the weeds here.
The point is, they're full of shit.
Thanks for the call, Jim.
I don't want to get torn to the fucking weeds,
but people are still falling for this shit.
This country, it could be the least
racist place on the planet,
yet the narrative keeps being
driven home, and it's
ridiculous.
I mean, like I said, how many black
and brown people trying to sneak into the country?
It's such a racist...
It's just fucking ridiculous.
We have one other clip of Antifa, right?
Six guys.
This, I think, was from a previous rally this year
or last year, but this is...
Just to give you an idea,
this is Antifa at work again.
No audio on that?
There you go.
I think that was an earlier rally
this year. But there's Antifa.
They're the good guys.
They're the anti-fascists.
My fucking aching stem.
Oh my
aching stem. Uh...
Anyways. They never draw
anybody. Because most of us don't believe in this shit.
Okay.
Neither does Trump.
Ripple.
Look, and another headline.
Again, one year after Charlottesville.
Again, it's like celebrating fucking Christmas, you know?
One year after Charlottesville.
Majority of Americans see racial tensions on the rise do you really were you paying attention to
the eight years of obama there's a fucking riot on tv other every other week i'd get i'd come home
on a tuesday night get my recliner have friends over the riots are going to be on at 8 30 you
could predict them watching fucking cities being looted and burned to the ground.
Hands up, don't shoot.
Total myth, total lie,
which gave birth to the Black Lives Matter movement.
So give me a fucking break, would you?
Most Americans feel racial tensions have grown over the past year,
and partisan, as well as white and black Americans, divide sharply on how President Trump handles race relations.
Racial tensions in the last year have.
This is the poll.
Increased 61 percent.
Decreased 10 percent.
Stayed the same 29 percent.
He's he's getting fucking blamed for this.
Majorities of whites, blacks and Hispanics feel this way.
But blacks are especially likely to think so.
78 percent feel tensions have increased.
Yeah, because you got a white guy who's pushing back a little against the PC bullshit. So that
makes him, the conversation on race has been so bastardized to the fucking left that if you push
back a cunt here, it's like, whoa, these white people are out of control. Meanwhile, we get
along on a personal level every day.
Blacks and whites work together.
Blacks and Hispanics.
And everything's fine.
It's the media that does this.
And the media is not run by people on the fucking right.
Wake up, will you?
Jesus Christ.
Today, 58% of Americans disapprove of Mr. Trump's handling of race relations and racial issues.
But these views, like many others on the president,
are dramatically split by partisanship and by race.
Well, naturally.
I'll tell you, you can break it down.
You get people who know enough not to believe the horseshit
that the mainstream media throws at you every day,
and then you get another half of the population
who buys that shit.
Trump's handling of race issues, 41 approve, 58 disapprove.
In other words, Trump's supposed to shut his mouth and his administration and do what George W.
and all the other white presidents did before him.
Just shut your mouth, Whitey.
Let the black let the black move in the black caucus, poke you in the chest, trying to pick a fight.
You just keep your mouth shut.
We have to have a conversation on race well is it gonna be a dialogue or is it gonna be a lecture by al sharpton and and
fucking uh ellison and uh pelosi and everybody else what we've heard for the last fucking 50
years 82 percent of blacks disapprove 73 percent of his disapprove. Whites are evenly split. 49% approve. 51% disapprove.
And those would be the white liberal jerk-offs who only inflame racial tensions
as soon as they die off, which won't be soon enough.
And then you get a whole younger generation who's ingested this fucking shit,
and they believe it.
I noticed this too.
I was going to get to it, and John beat me to it.
John, I can hear you.
Hey, Nick.
Hey, Nick, can you hear me?
Yeah, John, what's happening? You made the same observation as I did with the golf tournament with Tiger, the PGA,
and how the guy from Texas, Brooks, what's his name?
Yeah, well, he's from Kansas.
But, you know, he's the poster boy for white supremacy, the big beefcake.
But you've seen how many people were, you know were i went to the pga on friday and we
watched the whole tournament yeah and uh you know we were enthralled with the tiger comeback and you
know and and when he finished the entire uh you know everybody who was at the tournament was on that final hole there to watch him and cheer him.
And, and, you know, that just proves, you know, how racist of a country we are.
I've been saying that, John, I've been saying that since, thanks for the call, man.
I was going to bring it up.
You beat me to it.
I've been saying that since even when Tiger, before he had his big fall uh you know i would say look how look how
racist this country is throngs of white people and tiger was at one point the greatest call
i get sucked into watching golf because of tiger and and i understand the attraction but but
once that happened with his wife and his career went in the toilet uh which was forever he hasn't
won a major in 10 years.
They would show clips of him even when he wasn't playing in tournaments and majors.
They would go back to him.
And I'm like, am I imagining this?
And then I opened the New York Post, Phil Mushnick, a great sports writer.
He became obsessed with how obsessed the golf world and the media that covers golf
would give no attention to the great young guys at the time,
just obsessed.
And you have to ask yourself, I understand he's biracial
and golf was traditionally an old white man's game.
I understand all that.
But the ass-sucking, Koepka, this guy, he's won the U.S. Open
and then the PGA.
Five guys have done that in the history.
And he got literally like lukewarm applause compared to Tiger.
And the announcers, oh, I've been hearing this now.
I'm on, my brother's a big golf fan and my family likes to follow it.
And I'm texting saying to my sister, he's going to choke.
He's not going to win this.
He can't put people away anymore. Nobody's afraid of him and uh he played a hell of a round he came in you know second in the PGA and he has been improving it but we've been hearing this forever
and the people you can just see it look I'm applauding for the black golfer I'm white and
I love him I love him it's love him. It's hilarious.
And the announcers
and they even caught themselves
a few years back.
But Koepka,
this guy's unbelievable.
And McElroy and all of them.
Jordan Spieth and stuff.
But I couldn't believe
the coverage that Tiger was getting.
And all the talk in the booth was about tiger
and then uh when kepka got the trophy you know you get a nice polite round of applause meanwhile
they show tiger going into the clubhouse and there's a a cute little broad uh that he kisses
and she slaps him on the ass she um she looked very familiar like i i don't know I'm pretty sure the hostess
at the Waffle House in Atlanta
but even I noticed it
and I'm glad I'm not the only one
oh Nick you're just imagining that shit
oh sure
let's go to Joey in Long Island
hey Joe what's happening
what's going on there nick nothing i don't know why you're surprised i don't know why
you're surprised with the media i mean they're never going to give them any credit it's the
only thing they can attack them on they can't attack them on the economy well i'm the white
supremacist it just fits the narrative they're never going to give him any
credit and i know that but i'm not going to start pointing all right you all right joe we just heard
your phone we're getting all kinds of static i'm not going to i'm not going i'm not surprised
i'm just trying to educate the people because apparently there's a whole bunch of them
who who buy this bullshit but i'm going to point it out day after day.
They're the fringe, though.
They're fucking retards anyway.
You're not going to win them over anyway.
You're not going to get through.
They already got their minds stopped.
No, no, no, no.
I'm not talking about the fringe. I want a lot of people over with being on Sirius for one year
who fucking email me personally on my radio account saying,
you know, you pointed out a lot of shit I've never heard of.
When I started pointing out how white guys betraying commercials,
everybody freaked out.
So I'm not going to stop.
Even if it's three people a year, Joe, I feel obligated to do it.
I've got to cut you off, man.
There's something wrong with that.
No, no.
I have to. Your phone's cutting in and out. It sounds like you're in a fish tank
But I'm not surprised by it. I've been following this shit forever
I've been pointing out this hypocrisy forever. So
You know Don't make me out to be Pollyannish on the subject eight three three five nine nine six four two five
And it's hotter than a witch's tit in this room again i don't know it
must be me in the coffee i'm fucking so uh yeah i'm not surprised but i'm not gonna stop i'm not
gonna stop pointing it out but jesus christ you dummies who fall for this stuff oh this country
and they all you notice all the broads have purple hair they're ugly as a fucking stump fence and they all, you notice, all the broads have purple hair, they're ugly as a fucking stump fence,
and they got fat legs,
and like I said, their beef is with God,
not with the right.
Trump might have said the N-word.
Everybody who points and calls you a bigot and a racist,
I'm supposed to assume you never said the N-word
or thought it or had a racist thought?
Because that's the only way you'll have the right to judge people,
is if that's the case. You've never had a racist thought or uttered a racist thought? Because that's the only way you'll have the right to judge people is if that's the case.
You've never had a racist thought
or uttered a racist...
This is such fucking horseshit.
Wait till that tape breaks.
I don't know.
What's worse?
Trump saying he likes
to grab pussies
or if he dropped the N-bomb?
He's the Teflon Don, motherfucker.
Chris in the Bronx.
Chris, what's going on?
Mickey D, man, big fan.
Thanks for taking my call.
You got it, fella.
Real quick, I just want to thank you also
for introducing me to the term goo gobbler,
which I yell at people at the Cross Bronx in sweat spray
four or five times a day.
I just want to talk about the media real quick about how fucking left slant left slanted they are they really are just despicable and disgusting uh what do you think it's going to
take to finally somebody to come along and to give us honest news when i put on the television man do
you think maybe somebody will come along and invest some money in a honest media source at some point well fox murdoch has fox news i don't care people can laugh at it and shit
if you watch all the i flipped through all the channels and uh fox news has people like
shepherd smith hates trump there's a lot of people over there don't like trump and uh but they
interview liberals they'll have both sides on fox. There's a lot of opinion stuff and people on Brett Baier show.
The special report at six o'clock is about the most down the middle to me, the most honest broadcast.
But the point is, that's that's all that's out there. That's making an honest effort.
In my opinion, I know I'll catch a bunch of shit. Oh, all the people that criticize.
They fucking lean right. They suck Trump's dick but well i go do you watch fox no but i fucking
um it's gonna take it's gonna take more than just fox news and a couple of uh you know mark
levin and and hannity and a few others um but but i i don't know i i don't know murdoch's made an
effort a little bit.
But like I said, even then, when they were talking about on Sunday, when they were talking about the white nationalist rally, I couldn't even watch it.
I was getting a headache from thinking they kept, you know, one year to the anniversary when that girl and this is Trump back then saying there was fine people on both sides and and and uh i don't know i thought the internet would be the answer uh chris but but uh but but that's more left wing than the goddamn mainstream
media thanks for the call uh i don't know what it's gonna take maybe a thousand me's doing podcasts
but see the libs got into got into all the institutions that matter, the media.
When I say media, I'm talking news.
Then pop culture, Hollywood.
And then the college campuses, we know what goes on there.
So they did their fucking homework, and they started this plan 60 years ago.
You're watching it come to fruition when somebody like Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
can actually get some heat on her,
although she's fizzling nicely.
They'll always be in the ballgame.
But all you can do is fight back.
I don't know.
I'm going to write about an hour's worth of dick jokes and become famous,
because apparently nobody wants to hear them.
The Village Underground last week was good, though. I was giving it right back to them and they were loving it sometimes the audience is fair
but uh you got a whole generation fucking brainwash there's another thing out today
some poll where democrats actual politicians were no longer hiding the fact that they're for
socialism which has never worked anywhere on the planet.
Go to Venezuela.
They're actually eating zoo fucking,
they're eating zoo animals.
Literally going to the zoo and killing animals
to feed their family.
So if you want zebra balls every Wednesday night,
along with Yazidi,
vote socialist, vote Democrat.
That's what they're about.
They hate this fucking country.
Go to Venezuela.
Johnny in Springfield.
Elizabeth Warren had some comments
about race in this country.
I forget what that Pocahontas Indian
fucking ugly six-foot-eight
creature said. Refresh my memory.
Johnny.
Hey, Nick. How's it going pretty good so uh elizabeth warren
said that the criminal justice system is racist front to back which is speaking of colleges first
of all she fucking caters to the smith college types out here in western mass she's insane but
i mean my neighbor's a black cop right he goes in there you know springfield mass He goes in there every night risking his fucking life to protect the community he grew up in.
Yep.
And my question to Elizabeth Warren is, if she was in charge of the system and made a system that's quote unquote not racist,
could you then employ that system with racists and not have the same result?
Is that what she's trying to say?
I can't even follow that logic.
People involved don't matter.
Yeah, that's what she's trying to say? I can't even follow that logic. That the people involved don't matter? Yeah, that's what she's trying to say.
Well, she's saying the system is racist.
Right.
If the system is racist, that means you can have a racist system with no racist cops.
Does that mean her system could just employ a bunch of racists and still work?
Right.
There's no fucking logic behind her.
Well, there's never, especially in the issue of race.
Sorry for cursing.
There is no logic when it comes to the when you're discussing race
especially on the left it's all emotion they keep pointing and going 60 of the people in prison in
this country are people of color yeah well that speaks to who's committing the crimes not you
want me to believe that they're all in there unjustly shut the fuck up you fucking indian
pocahontas almost all of them are men so is it sexist yes
it's very sexist
it's actually a great point
you ever watch and I'm glad
it's men it makes for better episodes of
lock up I don't know if you watch that show
I fucking every once in a while they go to a woman's
prison and in three minutes into the show I'm
fucking snoring because you know
it's a bunch of broads that look like me
with the same haircut writing each other love notes.
But, yeah, that's a great point.
No, you're exactly right.
Back to front.
It couldn't be.
You know who?
Good call, Johnny, by the way.
You know who opened our eyes to that?
Mark Furman.
Remember during the OJ thing and he was caught years before that saying the
n-word on the cop radio remember that whole fucking and he was labeled a typical racist way
and and and and after it all came out Oprah had him on because he was totally he I remember him
being on Oprah and this changed it a little bit he said I'm a white guy in black neighborhoods
every night protecting them but I'm a fucker and. And Oprah gave him like a fair shot at it.
And next thing you know, he was getting news gigs.
And Elizabeth Warren's just a dumb cunt.
I don't know how to put it.
That's kind of rude.
But she's just typical Massachusetts.
What happened to my state of Massachusetts?
It's fucking embarrassing.
It makes San Francisco look right wing now.
But, you know, remember, she's a point
0.001 percent Cherokee or some shit.
So why would anybody listen to her?
Huh. Next story, please.
FBI fires a PET Strzok.
Wow.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
Finally.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
What the fuck?
That clips three seconds.
Yeah, he finally got canned.
He played a lead role.
You know who I'm talking about.
Fuckface Peter Strzok with his lovely girlfriend.
Remember all the texts saying he actually said to Lisa Page, his girlfriend, we will stop him from becoming president.
But none of his political bias had anything to do with his job.
He was able to separate the two.
Well, apparently not.
But the thing, the disturbing thing is he had a lead role in the russian meddling
and the hillary clinton email probes uh but after all those texts came out you know nobody could
protect it struck uh attorney ayton goldman said in a statement monday that his client a 21 year
fbi veteran was fired friday afternoon claiming this was a departure from standard practice and
politically it was
politically motivated Goldman said bureau deputy director David Bowditch overruled the FBI's office
of professional responsibility to remove him this decision should be deeply troubling to all
Americans but it's not your dickhead it's a fucking most Americans are sitting home that
are saying going it's about time this jerk off is still employed by the fbi so not
most americans get out of your bubble shit teeth you fuck stain
all americans are troubled that peter struck uh you know they didn't go through the proper
protocol it takes a long time you, when the government does an investigation.
It takes forever.
I thought he was gone, officially.
I mean, give me a fucking break.
You fucking hypocrite.
Yeah.
What she said.
Reacting to the firing, the president, that would be Trump, tweeted,
finally, that's what I said, finally, while asking whether Russia case will now be dropped.
He tweeted, Agent Peter Strzok was just fired from the FBI, finally.
The list of bad players in the FBI and the DOJ gets longer and longer.
Based on the fact that Strzok was in charge of the witch hunt, will it be dropped?
It is a total hoax. No collusion. No obstruction. I just fight back.
All that's true. Hate to bust your just fight back. All that's true.
Hate to bust your balls, America.
All that's true.
My question is,
when is the thick-ankled dog face
lying whore up in Chappaqua?
When is she going to be fucking
tried for her crimes?
Taking a hammer to her cell phones.
She hid a secret server
under her giant ass for two years.
That's where she kept it.
It wasn't in a closet.
It wasn't in a bathroom.
She was sitting on it with that giant fucking cow ass.
When is she going to be held accountable?
When they find anklets big enough to get around rhino feet?
Is she ever going to jail?
Jesus Christ.
Strzok's not going to go to jail.
He'll just disappear.
But he should be brought up on charges.
It's all going to blow up eventually.
It's taken a long time
because Mueller is stringing it out.
We have the midterms coming up. It's all a nice
dance, folks.
You know it. I know it. Your sister knows it.
Who's your sister?
Diane.
Diane.
Strzok was removed from the special counsel probe last year
after a discovery that he exchanged Andy Trump
and other politically charged men.
We know that with Lisa Page.
Anyways, I thought that was refreshing.
What a pompous ass.
Did you see him testify?
But one of his texts came out and said he vowed to stop Trump from becoming president.
But that's his political bias had nothing to do with it.
He could separate his job from that.
Are you dog styling me?
Jesus H. Christ.
I wish it would all go away.
You know what I do to flush all this out at the end of the night?
I put on the Munsters and I laugh at Grandpa.
I put that on, sometimes leave it to Beaver.
It douches my mind of what a sewer we're living in today.
Back to the good old days, the 50s, white picket fence.
All this shit.
I like to say that to my buddy Keith Roberts
what are you shitting me man come on man
fucking ask black people
how they had it in the 50s man
okay
good point
anyways
that's all you
he added a lengthy investigation
and multiple rounds of congressional testimony
failed to produce a shred of evidence that Special Agent Strzok's personal views
ever affected his fucking work.
You've got to be kidding me.
I know what you did.
You're a damn tyrant.
All right, just get the hell out of here, huh?
David in Alabama.
David, welcome to the show.
Hey, Nick.
What's up, Dave?
Hey, Nick.
What's up, Dave?
You're a great comic man.
Been following you for a long time.
Thank you, fella. Well, basically, I just wanted to ask, do you think that geography plays any part in how you feel politically?
Because I'm a lifelong Democrat, but I find myself defending Trump supporters more and more.
Even being surrounded by them in South Alabama, I feel like the left has gone loony.
That's refreshing to hear somebody who's a Democrat say that.
If you're being totally honest with anybody who doesn't think the left has lost their
fucking mind is being intellectually dishonest.
You can't look at those clips of Antifa and shit.
You can't look at that and you can't have been following this collusion story for the
last almost two years and say, hey, there's something fucking wrong here.
Somebody told me there's something called the hashtag walk away movement where Democrats are walking away.
But how can that filthy douchebag Nancy Pelosi still be the face of the party?
I grew up to answer your question. I grew up in Massachusetts and went to school in
Maine. And then I lived in Boston as a young adult, moved down to New York. I've been down
here in New York for 20-something years. So I've been surrounded by liberalism. And I wasn't even
that political until I moved to New York City. And I read the New York Times a few times. And
I picked up the New York Post. and I went, holy shit, I
think I'm on this team.
But that's refreshing to hear you say that, that you're a Democrat.
And you can see that they've fucking lost their minds, haven't they?
I mean, it's just went bonkers.
So much so that, like, I mean, my father is is retired military so 30 years like and he was
a lifelong democrat no kidding sounds crazy yeah today's age to say that yeah you know what i mean
but uh i loved him to death and i listened to everything he said he used to tell me you know
democrats are for the working man they're there for the guy who makes forty thousand dollars a
year and even though i'm the highest ranklisted rank I could ever go, I served three tours in Nam, this is all I can do, so I voted for Clinton.
I'm 35 now, so I listened to that, and I really believed it.
I voted for Obama twice, and then after the shit fucking went down over the last couple of years i'm just like jesus christ i don't know
if i've made the right move here yeah well you know your dad meant probably meant well but again
go see death of a nation if you want to see the history of the democrat party they're the history
of the ku klux klan they've always been the fucking racist from the civil war on and uh they
might have been for the working man for five minutes.
But then that turned into unions where a bus driver in Cleveland makes $350,000 a year because he can work overtime.
And Toyota had to move out of the country because after they paid everybody's benefits
and dental, they were losing money on making cars.
So somewhere they lost a handle on it.
But God bless your dad, three tours in Nam.
But how does he feel now?
Has he woken up and smelled the napalm?
I mean, the coffee?
He was starting to.
He passed away a few years back from Agent Orange poisoning.
He got cancer from it.
Oh, my God.
I couldn't have made a worse joke.
I apologize a thousand times
that
yeah
the polo it's a it's all good make an even worse but not and here i i think
you were starting to come around to it is a little bit
we were started to get with more that this
socially liberal people than it was the financially liberal people if you
understand what i'm saying.
Yes. We still kind of got,
and we like social programs.
I mean, my mother now is 72,
and thank God she has TRICARE for life.
She inherited that from my father
who was in the military for so long.
Yep.
And so her health problems are being covered by that.
But at the same time,
we wonder, like, I mean, are they really looking out for our best interests?
Because what I look at right now is everybody screaming and clamoring for these fucking holes who are bitching about wanting rights that they already have.
I mean, Roe versus Wade happened in what, the 70s?
Yeah, it's never.
And they're still, we need, you know what I mean? And it just never and yeah they they're still we need you know what i mean and it just
extends further and further past that and so i'm like well what fucking team am i on here i don't
know i i'm literally confused well i suggest uh you go to your general manager and say you want
to be traded because uh your team is 112 games out of fucking under 500 right now.
But great, great, great, great call, David.
I appreciate it.
But it's true, man.
And what Trump's election did, him getting elected,
it stripped the veneer off the fucking left.
And there's a poll out today that I'm talking about elected
officials, Democrats,
are no longer trying to hide the fact
that they're for fucking socialism.
Something that's never
worked.
You've always had the Bernie wing and the
Elizabeth Warren
wing of the Democrat Party, but that's
no longer the fringe.
That's their party.
Socialism. You want to have giraffe nuts?
Go ahead.
Mom, what's up at dinner? We're having
fish sticks and parakeet teeth. Oh, yummy.
I got to blow this thing up.
I got to get...
I don't know.
I'm not getting contacts, okay?
Somebody said they have bifocal contacts,
which sounds like a nightmare to me.
If I look down just to cut hair,
it's going to get blurry and look up.
There's no way that can work.
Bifocal glasses don't work.
I'm going to have the Lasix.
And I want Asian eyes.
Can they do that?
I think I would look good with nice Asian eyes. Can they do that? I think I would look good with nice
Asian eyes.
I'll tell people I was a
veteran of North...
of the Korean War.
Yeah, no, they can. You just have to pay a lot extra.
For what, Asian eyes? Yeah.
Jason, that was a beautiful add to that joke.
You came in strong with it. You delivered it
like a champ. I thought the timing was solid.
I think the delivery could have been better.
I've got to be honest
with you. I thought you fucking swung and missed on both ends.
But no, that was... Fuck.
That's Jason.
Ryan's on
vacation with the Boy Scouts.
They went to Australia.
They're learning how to tie ass knots.
I don't know
what that means.
Let's skip.
Well, if you need more evidence about the media,
128 establishment news outlets coordinate attack on Trump.
This is from Breitbart, John Nolte.
First time, he says, I'm aware of where the media have openly
and proudly coordinated attack on Trump.
This coming attack is premised on the entitled belief
within the establishment media
that the First Amendment protects the media from criticism
and that the First Amendment restricts a sitting president
from criticizing the media,
which, by the way,
every president since George Washington
has had a beef with the media.
Once again, like it's Trump is the first one.
And he didn't coin enemy of the people.
They did.
You guys have done more to damage this country in the media.
I'm glad he takes a big runny dump on you every fucking day on Twitter.
And I hope he never stops.
Now papers are getting.
Listen to this.
He's no.
Now papers are getting... Listen to this.
He says, how else do you explain 128 and counting news outlets coordinating to attack the president
but daring to criticize the media for launching coordinated attacks against him?
The event is being organized by who?
Guess who?
By the far left Boston Globe.
Once again, a decent paper when I was a kid.
Now I wouldn't let my fucking cousin timmy take a dump
on it well that's no it's the dog cousin timmy we named a german chef basically on august 16th
some 128 strongly worded op-eds will run to mislead readers into believing criticism of the
media is unacceptable in quotes and an attack on the First Amendment. Over the weekend, Brian Stelter, a CNN goo-gobbler staffer
who regularly spreads conspiracy theories,
accidentally pointed out just how bad of an idea this is.
Back in March, listen to this,
Stelter blasted the Sinclair Broadcast Group
after its local television affiliates broadcast
a rather anodyne editorial against fake news.
Stelter spent days savaging Sinclair for pressuring its local affiliates
to be on the same page editorial.
This week, however, Stelter is all in favor of big media companies
pressuring local newspapers to be on the same page editorially.
He describes his upcoming attack against the president as, in quotes,
another example of unity across the news business.
You fucking hypocrite.
He thinks they're supposed to be unified.
He thinks that's a good idea.
The press is unified against the president.
Unbelievable. good idea the press is unifying against the president unbelievable in other words yeah
the bottom line is that the coordinated attack coming from all corners i i don't know how you
can read this shit and not uh of the establishment media only serves to validate the criticism coming
from trump and other media critics so 128 papers are going to get together on august whatever the
date i said was 16th and and and deliver an op-ed, an anti-Trump
op-ed.
Because he has the balls to point out how
corrupt CNN is,
and MSNBC, and ZB, and by the way,
they've done a ton of polls.
I mean, independent media research
counts, 90, was it
93% of the stories were negative
on Trump last year?
He doesn't have a legitimate point how evil you people are.
Fucking Boston Globe.
He used to fucking read the Globe.
Mmm.
Gatorade and rum.
Have you tried it?
Get your electrolytes and a buzz at the same time.
Finally tonight.
I'll save the other two for tomorrow.
Fenway Park has...
They have all-inclusive bathrooms now.
So that's good news, huh?
That's terrific news.
So you can go in the bathroom. depending on how you feel you identify that day
new fenway bathrooms signage focuses on gender inclusivity by the way fenway is an area in
boston that fenway park also obviously the back bay fen the fens we call them, okay? But all the buildings in that area, not just Fenway Park.
It says, now when you visit a Fenway health location,
you will see the following changes.
Single-person restrooms at all locations will now be labeled
all-gender restrooms, which is good.
Now, you can go in, let's say even at fenway
park which we have a picture i think of uh we have a picture at fenway uh the door i'm believing
that's fenway because it's red but uh this is again the whole part of boston but that's good
so now you can go in um if first of all've experienced what's, I've gone to a few restaurants that
have done this.
I almost got in a fucking fight after a gig in Tarrytown.
Uh, I'll get to enter that in a second.
But don't you think when there's a, uh, a line a mile long at the ladies room, those
women are going to go, you know what I am?
I'm holding a dump.
I identify as David.
I'm going to the men's room and they're going to go to the men's room.
And, you know, it's great.
So you can be in there, your dad with your little daughter in there.
And a guy can come in, you know, and take a big dump next to your baby as you're trying to.
It's good, isn't it? It's all inclusive.
You know, the thing is, before all this came about, there were no problems in the bathrooms.
No transgender people were getting discriminated against.
There was nothing.
Now it's a big fucking mess.
I did a gig in Tarrytown a couple years ago.
I go to use the bathroom at this bar after, and there's a guy standing, a guy in there for like 20 minutes in the men's room.
He comes out.
I'm next.
So I start to go.
He puts his hand on my chest and lets his wife go behind him into the men's room he comes out I'm next so I start to go he puts his hand on my chest and lets his wife go behind him into the
men's room she's in there having fucking
hip surgery or fucking a brain
transplant it must have been an hour and
a half so I start to fuck I go fuck this
I try to go around him and he puts his
finger on next thing you know we have
each other by the shirt and and whatnot
but it's good you can go into Fenway Park now with you with your little kid and listen you can But it's good. You can go into Fenway Park now with your little kid and listen.
You can hear beautiful sounds like this.
You're scaring the baby with your giant shit stick.
How about that J.D. Martinez, huh?
How about that J.D. Martinez, huh?
You're causing a lot of confusion where there should be none.
Nobody was getting fucking discriminated against.
Such, did you, I don't remember reading a thousand stories, do you?
I'm transgender.
But I'm going to use it to my advantage now. I'm telling you, if the men's room line is too long
and they have bathrooms like this, all-inclusive,
I'm going into the ladies' room.
What are you doing in here?
Well, I'm Diane, and I'm here to change the trolley paper.
I don't know.
Use it to your advantage, kids.
I told you, young guys, you're at a nightclub,
you see some hot chicks going into the ladies' room,
follow them right the fuck...
Put a little rouge on, a fake lipstick, whatever.
Follow them right in there.
Kick that stall in.
It's much easier than getting on Tinder
or all that fucking shit.
What are you doing in here?
Well, I'm Pam.
Nice to meet you.
Do we have pictures of the signs?
I don't know if I gave those to you in the article.
I can't even read all the emblems.
Do we have that?
Our Father.
I think it's in the article.
No?
Yeah, it's embedded in the email.
I can pull up the email.
Yeah, it's embedded in the email. Everything's embedded in the email i can pull up the email it's um yeah could you
it's embedded in the email you know everything's embedded in the email you guys have to learn how
to fucking un-embed the shit that's embedded in the email it doesn't matter it's got a wheelchair
next to a guy look at this you gotta yeah but you gotta have your pilot's license to fucking
read the signs here. There's a
baby and a
toilet.
Changing station.
These are some of the blue ribbons I
won for inclusivity with my show.
What's that?
Like that lady in a dress? That could be be a guy and the guy could be a woman right
it says please use the restroom that best fits your gender identity yeah well again if there's
a line a mile along the the men's shitter again i'm diane i'm gonna put a couple of popcorn buckets under my shirt.
All right.
That's enough for tonight.
Don't you think, kids?
I think... I think that's enough.
This is the free show,
by the way, on a Monday.
And go to nickdip.com.
I'll be at the Comedy Cellar
tomorrow night and Wednesday.
I'll save the...
We get some good footage of a fight at McDonald's.
Guess who was involved in that?
Let me give you a hint.
They weren't from Utah.
And then I got another white kid being choked out by a person of color criminal.
But I'll get to that tomorrow, I guess.
That's it, folks.
Again, thanks for tuning in and spread the word on Facebook and everywhere else.
And remember, you think it, I'll say it.
You're quite welcome.
And we'll see you at the same time tomorrow.
All right.
Oh, say can you see
By the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming Whose broad stripes
and bright stars
through the perilous
fight
O'er the ramparts
we watched
were so now
Lunchly streaming
And the rocket's red light I'll see you next time.