The Nick DiPaolo Show - H.R. 1 - Dems Go For The Jugular | Nick Di Paolo Show #500

Episode Date: March 3, 2021

Democrat H.R. 1 bill would eliminate voter ID laws. Texas governor reopens the Lone Star State. Cuomo gets tagged with a third harassment accusation.

That's right, folks. It's our 500th episode of this form of the Nick DiPaolo show. And we couldn't have got here without you guys and your support. I want to thank you guys. And you should be celebrating too. I've actually done way more than 500. I started this show in my basement, I don't know, eight years ago, maybe, but nobody wants to go back and count all those. I would, because it's way over a thousand, which is a more impressive number, and I want to make Joe Rogan sweat. Anyways, but thank you guys so much for getting us to the 500th show. We appreciate it. guitar solo Oh yeah, how are you folks?

Welcome, Nick DiPaolo Podcast. Who doesn't have one? Huh? Oh, Springsteen's got one. You believe that shit? Of course, he's interviewing Obama. I think they're doing it together. I think Huckabee's doing one with Pat Boone. So thank you. Big show today. Very excited. Oh boy, is this great? If there's anything you can take from this show, any message you can take, it would be this, I think. You're entitled to shit.

All right, let's remember that. That goes for everybody. Let's get right to it. What the hell? I got nothing to talk about other than we're putting in a new kitchen that's going to cost me two arms and half my left leg four guys in my kitchen today just electricians plumbers and general contractors sounded like they were going to redo the capital i'm very sad but i as you know i'm a cook and i'm i'm the one who's asking for all this shit it's so expensive

I'm getting an oven that you'd see in a fucking restaurant six burners oh my god I can destroy so many foods at once let's get right to uh Texas big news out of the state of Texas ladies and gentlemen Texas uh governor Greg Abbott ends the eight-month-long statewide mask mandate and opening Texas 100% makes it the largest state to lift the orders. You know what? My initial reaction when I read that is DeSantis is getting all the headlines. You know what I mean? These guys, don't forget, you're not a governor just because you want to be governor. You want to be president someday, whether they tell you that or not. DeSantis is killing. They added a straw poll. And these governors are like, what the fuck? I can do

that. But this guy, I don't know, he's not manly and macho enough to be the governor of Texas. And that's why it's turning, you know, well, they say it's turning blue. That's because all the jerk offs from California are moving in. But anyways, everybody's excited blue that's because all the jerk offs from california are moving in but uh anyways everybody's excited because he's opening all the businesses uh everything and i'm reading a lot of the comments and it's a lot of people from texas going this guy's a sham we should have never been closed in the first why are you celebrating this you took our rights away so maybe there's hope for texas most of the comments i read uh here's Mr. Abbott bragging about what he did. Too many Texans have been sidelined from employment opportunities.

Too many small business owners have struggled to pay their bills. This must end. Effective next Wednesday, all businesses of any type are allowed to open 100%. That includes any type of nasty in Texas. Also, I am ending the statewide mask mandate. It's about time you grow a pair, you big fag. Now, despite these changes,

remember this. Removing state mandates does not end Now, despite these changes, remember this. Here comes my mother's. Removing state mandates does not end personal responsibility. That's exactly what it does. Shut your fucking face. Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid. Doesn't end personal responsibility. What does that mean?

You know, it's funny. Not everybody in Texas feels that way. So you're going to have the jerk-off virtue signalers, the libs, the dems who voted for Biden, right? They're going to still have their masks on. I'm expecting a lot of fistfights at pizza parlors and restaurants. It's going to be great. He doesn't have a southern accent.

You're the governor of Texas. I want you to sound like this. Let me tell you something. These faggots in the federal government making us wear these fucking masks all you people losing money fuck them but he's like anyways uh that doesn't mean you should what i wonder what this responsibility don't am i wrong here i think there'll be a lot of beefs we already saw beefs when everybody was supposed to wear masks. Remember in California, that guy was fucking coming into a supermarket busting balls. So yeah, this should be interesting. I think there'll be some squirmishes,

but good for you for finally coming around, I guess. But Texas should always, there was a time when Texas would always be first and stuff like this. Butantis of cuban descent love him uh he's uh he's the most popular right now under no circumstances can a county judge put anyone in jail for not following covet orders and no penalties can be imposed for failing to wear a face mask abbott said that's that's pretty good the announcement ensures te ensures Texas can tap into their own self-reliance. Texans, I should say, can tap into their own self-reliance to seize the opportunities our state has to offer. So he's very proud of himself.

I'm smart. I'm like everybody says. Like, don't. I'm smart, and I want the sticks. like don't I'm smart and I want the sticks today's announcement doesn't abandon

safe practices that Texans have mastered over the past year instead it's a reminder that each person has a role to play

in their own personal safety and the safety of others oh please that's faggot stuff exactly you want to call it

by its name that's strictly for fags. I, uh, so that's my point. Other people are going to go, I'm still staying sick. Get away from me. You don't have a mask on. Oh, there'll be all kinds of fights at Sonics and rallies and IHOP

and fucking real steakhouses in Texas. I almost said Texas Longhorn. I think. That's my prediction. Although, you know, we're here in Georgia and this town, which is more blue, by the way, because it has college campuses and it's about the arts and it's more Democrat than anything. But but there's still there was still a mandate here. People still wear them. And I have to put a mask on and go into CBS. So we shall see. There's a banner for it on City Hall. It says mask up. Does it say mask up? Yeah, that's terrific. Mask up before you knock over that liquor store, Tyrone. The House Rules rules committee this is a story number two i'm giving

you a trigger warning here okay i should have put this under the are you dog style let me say i'm gonna uh this my friends is gonna trigger you i'm just telling you this is the most important story of the day in my opinion these motherfuckers you're going to find out what they're trying to do and this reveals they just showed all their cards with this i don't know how it's not going to pass since they control every chamber in dc the house rules committee held a hearing on hr1 which looks to link look right away you know it looks to link the george floyd justice and policing act which we know you know he died of a drug overdose officially, by the way, but that's not important. He only burned down half the country. Right away, you know where they're going, right?

Links the George Floyd Justice in Police, I've never even heard of it, Policing Act with the For the People Act. Now, anytime, I'm doing a new segment, not today, but I'm going to have Jason make it up tonight. It's going to be called How to Read the News with Nick. Anytime you see a name of a group or a committee from the Democrats, and it sounds like it's very innocent, like For the People Act, you know, they're going to stick it right in your glee. For the People Act is going to be linked with George Floyd justice and policing. While the latter is called For the People Act, many contend it should actually be called For the Democrat Party Act. Of course, this portion of H.R. 1 looks to eliminate voter identification laws. I'll repeat that. Eliminate voter identification laws and make mass mail-in ballot systems federally mandated. Well, how do you feel about that, Nick?

I despise it with every fiber of my being. Okay. They're sitting back going, look how well it worked. This is like they're admitting they stole it. While Congress doesn't have the authority to dictate how state election commissions run elections. The bill seeks to punish states, here's the important part, who require IDs, which you need to buy a six-pack, get on a plane, and require mail-in ballots to be requested by voters. Republicans have argued that the Constitution does not grant Congress that authority. Eventually, we've got to have my boy Dershowitz weigh in, or Turley. The Constitution simply does not permit Congress to mandate these issues.

States and localities must be involved. That's what the Constitution requires, said Representative Rodney Davis. I'll tell you, I get no respect in the House. Representative Rodney Davis. I'll tell you, I get no respect in the House. Rodney Davis. So he's against it. Rodney Davis, who is a Republican from Illinois, by the way.

Their lawyers seem to do our lawyers in, you know. Counselor. Yeah, wake up, Counselor. Counselor. How do they plan to do this? Get this, folks. Buckle up. Well, the bill says Congress has the ability, listen to this, to reduce the state's seats if they break these rules.

Obviously, all the Republican states have these rules, right? It's aimed right at red states. To put it in simpler terms, the only states with these secure election procedures in place are run by who? Republicans. Now Democrats and Congress want to punish these states by taking away their congressional seats. How do you get to, how can you make sweeping changes to our government like that and still have it be constitutional? The answer is you can't.

Nothing for you. This is awfully convenient given that Republicans are likely to take back the House majority in 2022. I would agree with that statement if they clean up the election fraud first. But if we're using the same equipment and the same rules, you ain't going to win ever again. Somebody else. I think the majority needs to rethink what is what it's doing here. Cloaking a naked brazen attempt to rig the national election system in one party's favor under the guise of needed reform is simply ridiculous and simply disingenuous, said Republican Tom Cole of Oklahoma. Well, whose fault is that? It's yours, Tom, and the rest of you

fucking do-nothing Republicans. The idea that voter ID laws repress black and brown voters stems from a Harvard study. Oh, we should believe that. Which said minority citizens have a harder time attaining an ID or a driver's license. Well, whose fault is that? Again. As a result, Republican states who require ID are keeping them from casting ballots. This is just such pure fucking. You want the truth, ladies and gentlemen?

Are you interested in the real story? I am. Tell it to us, Nick. What Democrats failed to mention is that these laws affect Democrats and Republicans equally. Because all the conservatives who no longer drive often don't have driver's licenses either. I still don't understand how minorities don't have... Is it because we don't allow them to?

Is that what you're implying? Or they just don't bother fucking doing the paperwork? Nick, what are you saying? They're lazy? I didn't say anything. Altogether, similar studies found voter ID laws negatively impact both Democrat and Republican votes, with Nate Silva's 538 estimating the overall impact on voter turnout is no more than 2%. Democrats are also taking aim,

listen to this, the balls on these people, At the 14th Amendment, as a way to take congressional seats away from Republican states, the bill wants to use Section 5 of the 14th Amendment, which gives Congress the power to enforce the rules of the amendment, to alter Section 2 of the 14th Amendment. You can just fudge all this shit. Well, Section 2 gives states a number of congressional seats based on population. This bill by the Democrats seeks to give Congress additional authority to reduce a state's representation in Congress when the right to vote is denied.

Now, you know all the red states have these. Most of them have require ID. It's, you know, they're still trying to do it on the up and up. And the fuck, and this bill just undermines all that're still trying to do it on the up and up. And the fucking, this bill just undermines all that. You got to hand it to these, what do they do? Do they stay up all night? Every day there's something new just fucking over the, you know, the system. Republicans now argue if this bill is passed, it'll effectively make voter ID laws unconstitutional. As a result, there'll be no way to confirm

if a voter is who they say they are and ensure everyone who votes only votes once. Yeah, well, you're a little late with that. Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you? I'm just voting. Yeah, but you don't have any ID.

Don't need it. You know why they're doing that too? You know all the brown people pouring in over the border? You think they have fucking licenses? Do you see where it's all going, folks? The button's already been reset. Get to a gun store, load up. On what? I don't know. I'm not saying.

If this bill is passed, eliminating election integrity requirements like voter ID, it would effectively suppress Republicans in far greater numbers, excuse me, than any voter ID law ever possibly could, which is true. So they're going to try to get these into law, which why wouldn't they? Don't they run the Senate in the, right? And then if you're in a state that doesn't follow this shit, you're going to lose seats. Not to mention they're out in Puerto Rico and D.C. They're going to stack the goddamn court with dirty, filthy liberal women who don't wash. It's getting ugly out there. And again, this is not possible

if the Democrats control the media for the rest of our lives either will somebody please hit cnn msnbc mbc what do you mean hit him i don't know just send a message somebody out there isn't there any italians left that know how to send a nice message in the media. Because they are fucking running roughshod over us. Now, here's a story. I told you I wanted to start a segment called How to Read the News with Nick. And I came up with that today when I read this article.

Because most of you are going to read it and, you know, you'll digest some of it. But just remember, this came from the Hill. I don't know if that's a left wing or right wing. It doesn't matter. But there's this bias in this. Police in Ankeny, Iowa. I don't know if I'm saying that right. Does it really matter?

Say, listen to this. They disarmed a live pipe bomb after it was found by a pair of dog walkers at a polling place as voting took place at a local election on Tuesday. What the hell's going on out here? A bomb at a polling place? What are we, in fucking Iraq? Does this sound familiar? Afghanistan? Afghanistan? Familiar? Afghanistan?

Ankeny police officers were called to the Lakeside Center, 400 Northwest Lakeshore Drive, in reference to a suspicious device, the city said on Tuesday. When officers arrived, they observed what appeared to be a pipe bomb. The Lakeside Center was being used as a polling location today for the Ankeny Community School District special election. This is at a special election that nobody even knows about other than people in Iowa. And officers immediately evacuated the building. So I read that.

I read that much. And I go like this. I guess it'll be tomorrow when they blame this on right wing militia or whatever. But I was wrong. We don't even have to wait till tomorrow. Again, this is how you read the news. Once called to the scene, police said they deployed a bomb squad and neutralized the threat. Local police said they do not. Now, here's the key. Listen to me here. Are you listening? I'm talking to you. Local police said they do not have any

leads on who left the pipe bomb at the center and added that they have not received any reports of other devices or threats at the polling station, other polling station locations. Again, they have no leads, right? They have no idea. Voting at the Lakeside Center was halted for about three hours during the incident, election officials said. for about three hours during the incident, election officials said.

Representative Cindy Axne, she was a power forward apparently over in Europe. Look at the fucking hands on this monstrosity. Democrat Iowa said that she was deeply concerned about the revelation. Her quote is, this threat to our election is unacceptable and those responsible should be held accountable for this attempted violence against our democracy and its citizens. Acne, is it acne? Axne? I don't know. Let's call her acne.

Said in a statement, I want to thank our law enforcement officers, first responders, and local officials who acted quickly to protect the Iowa voters and poll workers. Paul Pate, and I didn't make that name up. Have you ever had the pate? That's French for pate. What pate is, folks, I know you guys are truckers. You grind up some nice meat and you put it in a log form. It's like a paste. And you fucking bake it.

I tried one. I try to make one when I live in L.A. Oh, my God. Makes good toilet paper. I'll tell you how much. Paul Pate, the state's Republican top election jerk-off official, praised local law enforcement for the timely response to the threat. Really, that was your response when they found a bomb?

To thank everybody that did such a good job? How about, how did this happen? Who the fuck did it? Great job today, he said. Local election workers, poll workers, law enforcement, and everyone involved with ensuring the safety of voters and the public, he tweeted. Thank you to all. True team effort.

Even that rings hollow to me. But here's where I'm going to teach you guys how to read. Since the 2020 presidential election, now it goes back to the guy who wrote the article, right? Remember, the cops have no leads. They have no idea who did it. This is the end of the article. So I don't know who wrote this.

He says, since the 2020 presidential election, law enforcement officials have warned against the growing threat of political violence. In January, the acting Secretary of Homeland Security issued a bulletin due to a heightened threat, heightened threat environment across the United States. Information, here we go, there's the word, information suggests, well, whose information? Suggests that some ideologically motivated violent extremists, you know who they're talking about, right?

Trump supporters. They're keeping the lie alive with objections to the exercise of governmental authority. That's always the right-wing people who hate, right? Anti-government. And the presidential transition, as well as other perceived grievances fueled by false narratives. In other words, Trump saying that he lost, which he did, could continue to mobilize to incite or commit violence. The bulletin read.

So the guy who wrote this is a lefty. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit or he's faking it a poll conducted so did you get the message again the middle of the article cops have no leads but this guy weighs in which he's not supposed to because he's speculating information lately says did how about this? Maybe Antifa, Antifa anarchists, anybody, maybe they planted that there? You know, like hanging a noose on a black guy's door, a black person hangs a noose on their own doorknob and tries to blame Whitey. But I'm just saying when you read articles like this, you should be going, well, he just said they had no leads. Why is he weighing in on this?

A poll conducted in February found that one in three Americans believe violence is justified if U.S. leaders fail to protect the country. I'm all for that. Come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom. That's supposed to be a whore. Oh, Nick, stop it. Why did the guy weigh in and go, you know, information has it. Why don't you just stop the article like three quarters of the way through? Because you don't know. But you just planted that idea. And

people will ingest that and go, well, yeah, they said. Anybody asking why there's still over like 6,000 National Guard occupying our Capitol? Anybody curious? I get a theory on that too they put those people there right because they knew how radical biden's agenda is and well they're like we're gonna piss a lot of people off we better have fucking uh surrounded by the national guard because people are gonna get angry and by the way that that fucking, they call an insurrection on January 6th. That was a tea party. If the people who I think are eventually going to snap hit,

I'm not saying they should. I don't condone any of that. Oh, what is that? Something in my fucking eye. It's good. Get the bad blood out. Anyways, I wish you success in your new business, as long as it doesn't conflict with mine. When did I ever refuse an accommodation? refuse accommodation. Except one time. Yeah, so keep an eye on that

who planted the pipe bomb. I don't care. A small part of me hopes they're right. It'll show somebody has some life in them. Nick, you can't say, well, I'm already convinced we have no way out of this meeting, the right Republicans, whoever, other than getting it on. Do you understand? They've backed us into a corner. They stole a national election.

And we later on and watched it. And they're still trying to paint it on right wing. I still believe there are a lot of Antifa members out of the 200 that charged the Capitol that day, but you'll never know. Sometimes I think everybody's in it. I mean everybody. Again, if you read those Illuminati books, you'll shit your pants at what. I want you guys,

the next time they show footage of the riot on January 6th at the Capitol, I want you to look the next time they show footage of the riot on January 6th at the Capitol, I want you to look closely at the cops pushing and the people pretending to push them back. They are not going 100%. It looks staged. I'm saying it right now is a false flag operation. I'm saying we know nothing about the cop who shot that woman. I'm saying, we know nothing about the cop who shot that woman,

but watch when they're wrestling and shit. Does it really look like everybody's going all out? Do you know what I mean? Did you see like a group surround one Capitol policeman and beat the shit out of them? Watch it. They're just like, I know because I was on the Sopranos and we did a fake riot scene at a park we got rougher than they did nick that's a crazy i'm telling you watch it there's nobody

throwing haymakers or kicking or it looks phony as shit to me starting to sound like alex john i don't give a fuck sometimes he's's right. National Guard soldiers, speaking of the Capitol, defending the United States Capitol, this will get you angry too, have gotten ill after being fed meat that is almost completely raw, with shaved metal also found in the disgusting meals, according to whistleblowers.

Stop eating at Panera. What? An anonymous staff sergeant, show them laying on the floor. This is how we treat our, look, this is how, an anonymous staff sergeant with the Michigan National Guard told WXYZ, what? Nice station, sergeant with the Michigan National Guard told WXYZ, what? Nice station, that the force has repeatedly complained after more than a dozen troops were sickened by undercooked meat. Show the fucking meat. Look at this. Are you kidding me? Look at the, see the red circle up in the top left-hand corner? That's metal in the food. Yeah, I know who did this, I can't say, there's an orange with a vagina or an ass crack, I don't know what's on the chicken pot pie, is that metal, there's metal in that, look at the, I don't know if that's a burger, a 90-year-old lady's vagina,

I don't know what in God's name, the bread on the left is moldy it's a dinner roll but look at the meat this is how we treat the national guard again everybody's still applauding biden look at that how can they protect you if they're in the bathroom How can they protect you if they're in the bathroom? Yesterday, for instance, there were 74 different meals found with raw beef in them. I'll repeat that number.

Seventy four. Look, they're all sick. They're laying down. Seventy four with raw beef and sergeant told the station Monday, sharing images of the meat that look completely raw in the middle. Just yesterday, soldiers had found metal shavings in their food. I'm going to give Pelosi and the douchebags the benefit of the doubt, but the people who they contracted, they're fucking anti-law enforcement, anti-military, I guarantee it. Undercooked meals that are good from the start were then made even more dangerous by a delay of up to four hours before they were served, the sergeant said. Can't even get that right. The government can't even get that right.

But they're going to protect us. Despite their key role in defending the capital against feared domestic terrorist plots even though they have uncovered nothing there's no sign of anybody plotting anything i am fucking the troops are also being woefully underfed the sergeant complained so they're underfed and then when you do feed them you're trying to poison them. A typical breakfast was maybe a Danish and some sort of juice. Well, at times it was clearly a dinner roll in Sonny D. What's the matter with Sonny D?

Sounds like a guy in the Gambino family. Hey, who got whacked yesterday? Sonny D! They fucking set him up. They took his thumbs. Another soldier complained last month that multiple soldiers have been getting sick and vomiting after eating. The Detroit News noted, God damn it. How'd that Sonny D go down? Morale is very bad. Many have served overseas. Listen

to this. These guys have served overseas and they cannot believe the quality of food they're being fed here in their own country. Michigan National Guard, which has nearly a thousand troops still at the Capitol, released a statement Monday calling the reports very concerning and unacceptable and said it was dealing with a contractor involved. Tucker Carlson has been focusing on the guy who's the head of the military, of these guys here, a guy named Honoré.

We talked about him too. And he's like the top of the military and he hates this country. He's black and he just fucking, he's making up all kinds of, he's saying that some of the capitol police were complicit in the rioting and shit just a just an american hater and he's heading up some of these soldiers governor gretchen whitmer oh her office told local media

that she had taken up the issue last month and had been assured it had been fixed. Oh, that explains a lot right there. That explains a lot who's in charge. You're a loser. You'll always be a loser. Nice rack, though. Why don't you feed those to the... So, soldiers, feel good that Governor Whitmer's on it. Hitler of the left. I'm sure she's really pro-military.

Couldn't be more left. She's on it. So you'll be getting some delicious grub after this. That's quite a rack, though, I got to say. I don't mean to be Andrew Cuomo. But Michigan troops make up 20% of the 5,200 guard soldiers and airmen supporting civilian law enforcement at the Capitol with its deployment set to end on March 12th.

What's today, 3rd? They are upset. I've read other articles. The soldiers know they're being used as political pawns. Do you understand nobody's more patriotic than people who join the military, for the most part, except for General Honoré, who just hates his country. They know they're being played and used by Pelosi and the buck. What they should do is, since how many, 70 of them have food poisoning,

leave a nice runny dump in the House Speaker's office. Just a big pile. Everybody go in there. We'll show you insurrection. Like you fucking read about insurrection weekly. Can you imagine treating us? Does that not tell you the sign of the times? Treating our soldiers like that at home?

What a mess we're in. Nobody's trying to tear down that fence and shit. And I still feel for that woman that got shot on January 6th. Nobody gives a fuck. Nobody cares. She was an Air Force veteran. Nobody gives a shit. She was unarmed,

shot by a black guy that we know nothing about. Nobody gives a fuck. The death, we're on to the Capitol. This is a related story because it comes from the Capitol. Remember Brian Sicknick, Capitol Police officer who was killed?

Remember they said, a bunch of pro-Trump has beat him to death with a fire extinguisher. The death of Capitol Hill Police Officer Brian Sicknick was immediately weaponized by the Democrats. That's exactly right. And the left media, which have since had to row back from their original politicization of the tragic event following January 6th. I can never say that word. Do you remember? They came right out and said, oh yeah, he was beaten to death. And then they're like, no, he actually, nobody hit him with a fire extinguisher. Now speaking at the United States Senate, and this guy is another cancer that has to be removed after we get rid of Comey.

FBI Director Christopher Wray, another part of the swamp. Makes me sick. He testified yesterday. He has refused to disclose the real reason for Officer Sicknick's death. What date was that on? January 6th. What are we at? March 1st. January 6th, what are we at, March 1st? And he's still playing like he doesn't know what's going on. In the immediate aftermath of the pre-planned leftist infiltrated invasion of the Capitol, the public was told Officer Sicknick was bludgeoned by a Trump supporter with a fire extinguisher. The National Post soon put that lie to bed. Then against a backdrop of hasty cremation questions over the timeline

of the events, Revolver News began questioning the official narrative. On Tuesday, March 2nd, Senator Chuck Nick no more coffee. Senator Chuck Grassley asked FBI Director Wray if there had been a determination as

to the cause of Sick Nick's death. Watch him dodge this. Keep in mind, this is, uh, almost a month ago that this guy died and, um, he's the head of the FBI. Go ahead. I'll take the last part of your question. First, there is an ongoing investigation into his death. Um, I have to be careful at this stage because it's ongoing not to get out in front of it. But I certainly understand and respect and appreciate the keen interest in

what happened to him. After all, he was here protecting all of you. And as soon as there information that we can appropriately share, I want to be able to do that. But at the moment, the investigation is still ongoing. Translation, I need some time to make up a good one that you guys are going to buy. Go ahead. So does that mean since the investigation is going on, you have not determined the exact cause of the death? That means we can't yet disclose a cause of death at this stage. But you have determined the cause of death. I didn't say that.

We're not at a point where we can disclose or confirm confirm the cause of death okay mr coelio i don't know nothing about that give me a fucking break i'm gonna find out what the hell happens here that guy sounds like chuck rassley in that clip listen i'm gonna find out what the hell happens here so you've determined that the cause of death you're're just not going to tell us. Do you understand, folks, what an insult that is, especially to the family, the guy that died? He knows. What are they hiding? What is this, the Kennedy assassination?

Happened almost a month ago. What could they be hiding? Oh, I know. I guarantee they know who did it, right? Because they have everybody's information. I mean, if you were in D.C. on January 6th and you bought a sandwich at McDonald's, they have your information. You know why they're keeping this?

It's going to turn out, I'm going to make a prediction, it was an Antifa guy that killed them or a fucking anarchist or Nancy Pelosi. What are those cunts? What a piece of shit this Ray is. You're a crumb creep. Really are. Ray didn't just shockingly obfuscate,

but actually refused to say if they even have a determination of the cause of death yet. Wow. Where did they get him? We knew he was fake about two weeks after he replaced Comey. Remember? Just kept stonewalling. They were asking for information. They kept the FBI kept stonewalling the Republicans who were investigating it. Right there, they asked him, how much of the truth is in what you just said to us? I don't know that much.

A little bit. So keep an eye on him too, because he's a anti-Trump. Speaking of anti-Trump, who hated Trump more than the boy who's in the paper every day, Mr. Andrew Cuomo, the governor of New York. of anti-trump who hated trump more than uh the boy who's in the paper every day mr andrew cuomo

the governor of new york his father must be spinning in his grave the old man was a big lib right but i remember i was that's when i started following politics he was a good mayor he tried to be fair and he had so much more you so smart much more smarter than his sons you know uh think about veto calling on and think about fredo that's the difference in intelligence uh governor cuomo now being called to resign i should have put this on the libs eating lips resign over allegations of sexual harassment apparently couldn't help himself during a live press briefing last spring commenting on the appearance of a female doctor in full protective

gear who was administering him a coronavirus test the unsolicited preserved on video comment now stands out with cuomo publicly accused of sexual harassment by three women and less than a week. Do you understand? I mean, even the fucking the libs. I just read an article that they were pissed at him, Biden's administration, when he gave the keynote speech at the DNC or whatever, because it was so about him and not what Biden was going to do. whatever because it was so about him and not what biden was gonna do um but here's here's a clip of him boy he's real smooth making a comment to the doctor wearing gear go ahead you make that gown look good you make that gown look good. Oh, my God. And she replied,

Well, tell me about the thousand other fucking pigs you had your dick in over the years. The strippers, the cocktail waitresses. You smug cocksucker. Fuck you. The girl, the woman, excuse me, the woman and the PPE, Dr. Elizabeth Dufour, clad in the personal protective equipment that has become a standard issue for the medical professionals during the pandemic, walked out at his Albany briefing in May.

Dufour maintained a professional demeanor, offering a slight chuckle at that comment, but otherwise ignoring the comment to instruct Cuomo to lift his head, close his eyes for the nasal swab test. Of course, Cuomo said, what do I get to close my eye? Like a blowjob joke. That's how I took it. After administering the test, which later came back negative, unfortunately, Dufour left the briefing. Dr. Dufour left the department in January. The Post should respect her privacy, DOH spokesman Gary Holmes told the Post. Post said, mind your business. But the doctor who made about $140,000 a year working for the State's Department of Health in 2019, according to public records, was part of an exodus of Cuomo

health officials. Dufour had served as the medical director in the Division of epidemiology. So, you know, he is on the hot seat, obviously, for killing about 15,000 old people during COVID. So they're probably trying to distance themselves from, she was making 140 large, now she's at Wendy's going, what do you like a lid on that? Anyways, Jesus, she was the head of epidemiology. Such interactions including Cuomo encouraging a female journalist to eat the whole sausage. Fucking dice clay over here.

At a state fair. What better place to say that? Go ahead, deep throat it, bitch. Ah, put some gabagool in that chopper. deep-throated, bitch. Ah, put some gabagool in that chopper. Anyways, have come under renewed scrutiny since multiple women have stepped forward to accuse the 63-year-old governor of sexual harassment, as I like to say. That boy is a P-I-G pig. And on Monday, Anna Ruch, or Rutch, And on Monday, Anna Ruch, or Ruch, either way, 33, alleged that Cuomo grabbed her and kissed her cheek at a wedding in 2019.

And my God, we have the evidence right here. Now, I got to be honest with you folks. I'm about his age, okay? Get a few drinks in here. You know, you're at Applebee's. The girl's got a nice rack. You got to go, thank you for the curly fries or something like that. He's just being a guy.

I don't know. But I have to hashtag me too. I mean, the women are very wary of this type of shit. You're raping me. This is rape. This is rape. This is rape. He's like, shut up. I'll raise your taxes. The governor's office referred to the same statement in response to Ruck's allegations,

despite Ruck saying she had never met Cuomo before that moment and a photograph of Cuomo holding her face in his hands. She's hot, cutie pie. Huh, Jason? You should go get her. Go get her. The allegations have seen Cuomo hit with bipartisan calls to resign. I'll repeat that, bipartisan. You know why that is, folks?

He's no longer useful to the Democrat Party. They already didn't like him after he's fucking hogged the limelight. They didn't like his book. They're looking for a reason to can him isn't it obvious they're all going all right that's it enough of him they should make his brother governor that'd be hilarious he'll be doing a you know state of the state of the fucking state speech while he's doing uh squats working on his pecs uh anyways yeah bipartisan calls for him to resign a move which would put

lieutenant governor kathleen uh huckle or hutchell i don't know these fucking names where's mary jones and fucking barbara eden uh in charge as new york state's first female governor how about that what are the odds he had a lieutenant governor that was a chick wouldn't that be ironic he gets camp a sexual harassment and by the way i said this right after the harassment shit came out right i go we're not talking about his covid the dead old people anymore you see what they do look over here oh and people are more upset about this. Right. So everybody's telling him to get the fuck out of there.

All right, get up. Yeah. Anyways, Cuomo held a press conference, I guess, this morning regarding the sexual harassment allegations. And this is what he had to say. They'd be like, where were you all night having coffee with the guys no you weren't you were cheating on me no i was having coffee really yeah Tommy, leave that in. It might get flagged, but so what? Funniest part of the show, in my opinion. Anyways, I want to thank our contributors to the show. As you know, folks, the permanent landing spot for the show is thecomicsgym.com.

So please, if you're still on Patreon and all that, move your stuff. Move everything to the Comics Gym. We're trying to get you. We got about half of you jumping. We need all of you over there so we continue to do the show. You can watch it. Why are you laughing, Jason? What's so funny?

The half of you. The what? The half of you. The half of you. I know. I watched two Cuomo clips. We got? The happiest. The happiest. I know. I watched two Cuomo clips. We got the fucking half. Oh, I'll tell you.

Yeah. A lot of crime going on in New York. Well, last night I was in Central Park. A guy pulled a knife on me. I could tell it wasn't a professional job. It had butter on it. I got a very ugly niece. She's happy. She married a very ugly guy. Today they got two very ugly niece. She's happy.

She married a very ugly guy. Today they got two very ugly kids. In fact, they're all so ugly in the family album, they only keep the negatives. My wife can't cook. Well, last summer, the flies chipped in to fix the screened-in door. One-time contributions. Jeremy Cohn, Arizona.

Kyle Bittner, Virginia. John Multiple Migs. Marabella, New York. Jared the Italian, Ju-fu-cia, Maryland. James Sheehan, Massachusetts. I like this one. Sicilian and Nicoblood.

You get it? Wisconsin. I don't expect a joke like that to come out of Wisconsin. Paul Sagnella, who's always in there, Connecticut. New monthly supporters, ladies and gentlemen, Buzznut33, Ken and Mary Joe Smith, Evan Lechelt, Ryan Alexander, California, Mike Walsh, Oregon. Thank you guys for signing up as monthly members. When you do that, you get an extra story every day that nobody else gets. And you get to have dinner with me once a year at the Shake Shack. Fucking Cuomo. I don't know. I got mixed feelings.

He's such a pompous ass with the rest of the shit and the COVID shit that I want him to hang. But I mean, I don't know. Cup in a girl's face. He's got a few drinks in him. The unwanted kiss. I don't know. We have to. I wish they had footage of that.

That's it. You can't just plant one on. I've tried that many times. I've got neat in the balls. Fucking forearm shiver to the tip of my nose. Can I just tell you about this guy? Al. I had a friend, Al B. We'll call him Al B.

His father is an old school Italian. Not a mobster, but knew all the mobsters, knew all the judges in Boston and shit. And we used to, he just, he was a streetwise guy who, you know, quit school in like sixth grade and was worth millions. And just really streetwise. But he used to give us advice when I was in my early twenties. The Palace nightclub is like not close from where Al lived. So it would be at Al's apartment.

His dad would be watching us get dressed and shit. And just started giggling and i'm like we call them senior senior what the fuck so funny he goes look at you fucking guys you all think you're like a valentino and shit right you think because you comb your hair this way and fucking put your tie on that you're gonna get like he goes don't you assholes realize these women know when they're putting on their lipstick before they leave the house whether they're going to fuck you or not? Boy, did that open my eyes. But here's his other advice. And talk about sexist.

He goes, here's what I used to do. He goes, you go up to a girl and you go, I want to eat your bush. I'm not kidding you. He goes, you either get a drink in the face or you're going to end up eating a bush. No 20 minutes of fucking bullshit, two hours of drinks. That's his opening line. Not you want to dance or can I buy a drink? I want to eat your bush.

Funniest Italian dude. Oh my God. We're sitting there watching the Celtics and the Lakers. This is in the fucking 80s. He looks at, this is way before magic and AIDS and shit. All right. This is when magic was super magic.

We're watching Celtics, Lakers playoffs. He looks at me and his son. He goes, I think magic sucks a prick. We look at him and go, what the fuck are you talking about? I'm telling you, he sucks a prick. Not even a year later.

All the shit. Not that we know. I don't think Magic's gay, but still. His son? Have you seen his son? So Al Senior wasn't that far off. I personally like Magic Johnson, even as a Celtics fan. he seems like a nice guy but he doesn't say I think he's gay I think he sucks a prick

they don't make him like that anymore and then I had him to my wedding and of course he stole the show he's the one putting the garter on he's fucking lifting the skirt and everybody's laughing and shit like an animal like cuomo one of my favorite people i ever met though still alive god damn it uh speaking of cuomo being a ladies man uh there's a lot of unhappy women out there

uh you know covid and they're in isolation and whatnot. At least I hear that much. Not my wife. She couldn't be more happy. Get the fuck out of my way. Let me put this out. I'm starting a brush fire. What a mess. Stop smoking. I do. I suck the vape.

Anyway, some guy wrote a catchy little tune on the internet. I guess it went viral. It's called Single Unhappy Woman Song, apparently. Again, I'll tell you guys, when you watch this, the connections you should be making. Check this guy out. Single unhappy women With an X instead of an E.

That is scary. Making believe it's the 50s and taking jokes personally. Your sandy vaginas disconnected you from reality. You're not heroes. you're uptight trolls now please just let us be eat a dick liberal karen why is your girl a chariot single and half all right kill it All right, kill it. You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt.

I think that's making cunts. That guy, now let me give you my take on that. He's biracial if you look at him again. You can tell he's biracial. I like the whole thing because at the end he said, but Karen, you know, he's blaming it on all white women. Really? They're the ones that can't take the jokes. There aren't any sensitive, politically correct black women crying at every fucking chance they get

yelling racism and shit. But you know what? Good effort, sir. As long as you said liberal Karen, I'm alright with it. But that's racist calling white middle-aged women Karen. But I guess we call all the black chicks Aisha and Tanisha and Propecia.

He's biracial. You guys are going, what are you talking about? Not his skin color. That's the white part. He's got black features. It's a great show, isn't it? Imagine Tucker Carlson saying that. That guy's a half a, you know what?

What? What? Speaking of racism, as you know, this country is just obsessed with race. It's how the left, by the way, has done so well, just using race as a cudgel and beating the fucking shit out of the Republicans for 40 years with it. A California high school teacher is under fire for making a shocking anti-Asian gesture during a Zoom class last week. Nicole Burkett, a Spanish teacher and advisor for the class of 2022 at Sacramento's Grant Union High School, is shown on video intentionally narrowing her eyes during an online class last week, according to local reports. So it's a zoom class she's talking to her students

and uh let's take a look at what she did i should leave i should leave your class right now yeah you should read you you get out you use ref door inside. I should leave your class right now. Shut up. I just learned the difference. I just learned the difference. Come on.

I kill you. I kill you right now. Kill me. I'm right here. Kill me. Okay, I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks.

Come over here. Talk to me in the face. Lick of some booty. Lick of some booty. I, uh... You know how you're not supposed to touch your eyes since COVID came out? I never used to touch mine

until COVID came out. Now I'm doing this all the time. Yeah, you guys do this to us. In a statement issued to the Sacramento Bee, Twin Rivers United School District spokesman Zenobia Gerald called the video shocking and disappointing, adding that the district has opened a probe. Oh, Jesus. The video does not represent the values held by Twin Rivers and the community. What community are you talking about? Gerald added.

An investigation was immediately launched when we were notified about the video. You think she stabbed an Asian baby on live television? Please know that Twin Rivers is committed to providing all students with a safe and civil learning environment. Oh, enough already. Will you shut up?

Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? In which all members of the school community are treated with dignity and respect, unless you're a white kid wearing a hoodie or a Trump hat. We do not tolerate any form of racism from any member of our school community, you lying whore. Burkitt declined to comment to the paper, but a response from an email address associated with her said, I have been advised to not make any statements until my union representative gets back to me.

She added. That was unnecessary. Burkitt's staff biography on the school website indicates that she is the crub member advisor for a Lang Zhang Noi. That's what it says. Lang Zhang Noi and K-pop. The fuck is that? Rock band that Beijing.

She said Korea. That's right. She says, I love teaching and supporting all students at Grant, she wrote. So apparently she's not giving up. I'm staying right here. Good for you. Oh, righty then. Now. Let's let's let's take a little lesson in the difference between a chinese eye and in a japanese eye and a korean it can get very confusing uh louis ck had a bit christ when i first met him 25

years ago about how we make fun of asian people's eyes but then he says do you not realize that over a quarter of the population on the earth is as? That means they have normalized and we have fucked up round ones, which I always loved. But, well, here you go. Let's go back for a second, back to the most recognizable and stereotypical version of Asian eyes and compare them with the rest of the world. A question you may be asking yourself is, do you have to be Asian to have this feature? No, you can be high. How common is it among non-Asian people? I will be answering this in a future video, so make sure you're subscribed to get that.

Oh, look at that white person's eyes. You know who looks kind of Asian? Lisa Booth on Fox News, who's really good looking. She looks like a pretty cat. But I know a lot of people that look kind of Asian. You know why? They're from China and Japan. I watched a whole video.

It's about 10 minutes long. It has to do with the eyelids, the skin fold. If you look, they don't have lids like we do. There's almost no lid there. Some of them have a little lid. He explained the whole thing and I threw up in the kitchen sink right after. What's funny about that? The differences between

the eyes and stuff are so subtle that you realize why the name chink applies to all of them, which is very horrible racism. I never liked that word ever. I like the Asian. You ever hear how they talk? It's a very melodic.

That's racist, Nick. Well, so is Dr. Seuss. I don't give a shit oh god here we go again what have we wiped out this year so far aunt jemima um huh uncle ben's rice um mrs butter buttersworth is on the chopping block my friend asked a great question how is kfc still alive that guy's a colonel in other words a plantation owner and i said to him you know why because black people love kfc so much and so do everybody i'm just saying so much and you they're the ones who make the decisions whether it goes or not now you know what i'm changing that he's going to be gone

within the next six months isn't he like a plantation owner? The chicken's so good though. People are like, fuck it. I don't care if it's racist. But Dr. Seuss, this one even caught me by surprise. Dr. Seuss's political leanings are well known. He was a liberal Democrat who opposed fascism in the 40s and President Nixon in the 70s. He was like a preachy liberal, this guy. Okay. Which makes sense because the liberals are the racists. The Lorax is a fairly unsettled pro-environment allegory. It's one of his books, right? Less well celebrated Theodore Seuss Geisels, that's his real name, early advertising and political cartoons from the 20s through the 40s which feature a decidedly racist streak but he's not in trouble for that he's in trouble for like

six of his books for depicting not enough minorities he has Asians in it and and of course as people on TV go it's a it makes them look primitive and the few black people that are in the book or brown people look primitive. He's drawing them the way everybody else was drawing. I'm not saying it's right or wrong, but once again, these jerk-offs take today's contemporary standards, try to apply them to 1940. And so this guy apparently had a real racist streak in him, I guess. Dr. Seuss. I know what you did.

You're a damn. Yeah. Let's take a look at, what do we got here? It just says videos. Is this, you know who, Mrs. Obama? So all this shit, right? All the Democrats. Biden wants you scrubbed his books, right?

But look who enjoyed his books. Right. But look who look who enjoyed his books. A real right winger. Hi, I'm Michelle Obama. Come here. Welcome to Mondays with me. A series of stories with PBS kids and Penguin Random House. You don't like me. I'm delighted to share today's book.

Oh, the places you'll go oh yeah he's a racist look at the rainbow colors and shit okay she didn't have a problem with it and wasn't biden ob Obama's vice president? You fucking hypocrite. Exactly. Here are some alternatives. This is what NBC put out.

Look at this one. A bad case of stripes. David Shannon, who's that? I don't like your jerk-off name. Me either. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you jerk-off name. Me either. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior. And I don't like you, jerk-off. That's how I feel about that book.

Look at this. Oh, could you get any more PC? What is it? Who's an animal? That is. Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch. Oh. What's the next one?

Oh, my God. Take all the fun out of life, don't you? It's a little black girl with an old black lady selling hats. What kind of story is that? That's faggot stuff. Oh. You want to call it by its name? That's strictly for fags.

Look how PC and shit. And do you understand all of them i learned this from tv last night he had one called the sneetches or something it was these half human you know animals they looked like something from sesame street and um the whole book was about some of them had stars on their belly that it became like a status thing they all want and in the end it's about no we're all the same sneetches underneath some some dog shit i would never read to my kid because i don't have kids but the message was we're all the same don't judge people on uh you know traits they were born with it they can't't check. The guy was a pro. I mean, he was anti-racism. Actually preachy about it. But once again, we dig into the past. Hey, you people on the right, start digging into the past. I actually heard Matt Gaetz or somebody finally on the right say,

let's start digging. Maybe Jim Jordan. Let's start digging into their past. You have to do that. You have to fight fire with fire. I've been saying it forever. Start digging up the garbage. Finally tonight, ladies and gentlemen, I think this is in, isn't Queensland in Australia? Doesn't matter because it's going to come here if it's not already.

High school introduces pronoun badges to prevent misgendering of students and teachers. Queensland, I believe, is Australia. It doesn't matter. Like I said, they probably got it from here. On March 2nd of 2021, that was yesterday, Redcliffe State High School announced last month that the school's LGBTQ group began a voluntary trial of the pins, which will be worn to display the wearer's preferred pronouns.

Oh, God. Help me. Ah, the homosexuals. Again, the they, them, I say that's for fat people. They are in the way. They're blocking the door. This week, Red Cliff HSS, SHS, LGBTQ plus group, but Jesus Christ, began their trial of pronoun badges, the school said in a February 18th post on Facebook.

Pronoun badges are, we don't need no stinking badges, we're faggots. Pronoun badges are as we don't need no stinking badges, we're faggots. Pronoun badges are simple as they sound. They're badges with different pronouns on them. However, their purpose to display to everyone what those who are wearing them define themselves as. Like that's even important. Oh my God. They're also so that people know what to refer to the wearer as. Oh, God, help me. Throwing your son looks like a fag to me. The initial rollout will begin with these pronoun badges. She, her, he, him, they, them, fuck, stick, jack up. Oh, God, I can't take it. This is what they should have on their badges. I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, I can't take it. This is what they should have on their badges. I suck cock and I love it.

Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Or something like this. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. You know, stuff like that. My vagina is furious. Wow.

Pissed off. You know, again, I don't want to mock this. I know I have a relative that went through. I wouldn't wish it on anybody. I'm just saying stop preaching that we're all just alike and stuff. And no, just please, please stop with the preaching. And do you really want to be called they, the, he, she? You know what I mean?

You're just separating yourself from the pile of us assholes. Don't you want to join us in our stupidity? Let's take a look at some of these transgender people. I'd actually take a shot at them. I'm that horny. Take a look. Now, what's the matter with that piece of ass? Huh?

Look at those teeth. The fuck was she marinating her choppers and broccoli? Look at the fucking. That is the health and human services director or whatever the fuck that Biden chose. Okay. He's in the Biden administration. I mean, she, I don't want to offend this thing. Next.

Now I'm attracted to this one. It's got a little, who does that remind me of? Got a little Keith Richards and Dolly Parton's mouth. I don't know. Who's next? Look at this. Look at this piece of delicious ass. You never looked heavier.

David Letterman, all depressed, put on weight. Are you telling me we can't poke a little fun at that? I'll get off the earth today if you're going to stop that. What else we got? Holy shit. I always wanted a girl that was a combination of Carol Burnett and Jay Leno I'm sorry

I'm sorry this is we got any more? Oh, Jesus! He's a fag! I guess. Look at his nails! What a bitch! All right, that's enough.

It's a long show. You guys, I'm like Springsteen View people. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. We covered a lot. What a show. What fun. I forgot to mention, by the way, I'm going to throw this in real quick about the Dr. Seuss thing. 2017 tweet from Vice President Kamala Harris has resurfaced mentioning Dr. Seuss by name and quoting him.

Four years before her own administration would scrub his name from the read across america day harris was a senator when she uh sent out the tweet dated march 2nd 2017 in which she wished the famed children's book author happy birthday happy birthday dr seuss the more that you read the more things you will know the more that you learn the more places you will go she quoted the birthday of dr seuss's real name was a teddy seuss i don't like them colored sky so and who died at 87 in 1990 was chosen by the national educational association in 1998 as the date for a new holiday focused on promoting children's literacy this year president biden had mentioned uh mentions of dr seuss scrubbed from his presidential proclamation

after the late author was accused of including racial undertones in some of his classic works, blah, blah, blah. So there you go. The current vice president liked him. You guys are so confused. You just, you make me sick. Anyways, don't forget cameo.com. That's when you go to my cameo.com,

click on my profile, and tell me about the person. I will roast one of your friends, roast them, roast them like a sausage. Or I can say a happy anniversary, whatever. I can be nice.

That's boring. Thecomicsgym.com, please. You guys think that I will say you're very welcome. We'll see you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow. I can't believe it. Bye. guitar solo I'm out.