The Nick DiPaolo Show - Impeach, a Real Reach | Nick Di Paolo Show #488
Episode Date: February 10, 2021Impeachment farce 2.0 hits the senate floor. Trump's lawyer stumbles in opening remarks. MSM double standards and faux outrage reach a new low....
Transcript
Discussion (0)
🎵 Oh yeah!
Welcome to the big show, folks. How are ya?
Wednesday, state of Georgia. Good to be with you.
Are you following this second farce of an impeachment, huh?
Are these the most angry, vindictive, stupid, selfish, petty cocksuckers?
I'm talking about the Democrats, obviously.
Let's impeach a guy who's not the president.
Apparently, though, apparently you and I don't know.
The Constitution isn't clear.
It never is to the Democrats, because yesterday the Senate finds Trump impeachment trial constitutional on first day of proceedings. proceedings two sources familiar with the former president's reaction to today's senate proceedings
described mr trump as angry about his lawyer's lackluster performance the guy really did stink
it up what the hell's going on out here one source said the president didn't sound pleased on phone
calls with uh close associates here he is on the phone. Is this moron number one?
Put moron number two on the phone.
Uh-oh, somebody's in hot water.
The Senate deemed the impeachment trial
to be constitutional in a vote to move forward with the trial.
Naturally, because it's Trump.
Although most Republicans voted to dismiss the trial,
44 Republicans voted that the Senate
has the jurisdiction to hold a trial
after a president has left office. The vote is an indication that there will probably be,
not be enough votes to convict Mr. Trump because you need 67 votes. That's required
to find the president guilty. Senate minority leader, fucking chinless
owl, Mitch McConnell was among the Republicans actually who voted to dismiss the trial. Yeah,
now he comes on board. Senators Bill Cassidy of Louisiana, Susan piece of shit Collins of Maine,
Lisa Maggot Murkowski of Alaska, Mitt the fucking Rat Romney of Utah,
Ben I'm So Sassy, Sass of Nebraska,
and Pat I Hope I Have a Tumor Tumi of Pennsylvania
joined all 50 Democrats in voting to uphold the constitutionality of the trial.
What arrogant jerk-offs. You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole.
That goes for all of yous.
David Schoen, nice Irish fella, representing the president.
There he is wearing his yarmulke.
Why do they do that?
This is why the Jews get picked on.
That hat couldn't be any sillier.
You guys should change out to like a goddamn Jimmy hat,
the ones like the Jamaicans do on this mother.
David Schoen, great lawyer, a member of Mr. Trump's legal team,
reiterated the former president believes the impeachment trial is unconstitutional and
accused Democrats of seeking to disenfranchise the more than 70 million Americans who supported
Mr. Trump's reelection bid. It's exactly what they're doing. We showed the clip yesterday.
It's 14 minutes long of all the evidence and there's a ton of it. This is a goddamn embarrassment.
Who's with me? As a matter of policy, it is wrong as wrong can be for all of us as a nation.
The trial, Schoen said, is a chance by a group of partisan politicians seeking to eliminate Donald Trump from the American political scene and seeking to disenfranchise 74 million plus American voters and those who dared to share their political beliefs and vision of
America. And that's exactly what it is. Mr. Schoen is right on the goddamn line. Schoen called the
constitutional theory put forth by the impeachment managers radical and unprecedented. Exactly right.
It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy.
long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy.
Yeah, you come on.
It's unprecedented and warned.
Adopting it would make future elected officials vulnerable to impeachment long after they left off.
Yeah, so where does this stop?
The fucking phrase slippery slope means nothing to Democrats.
Have you ever seen somebody so committed to getting power in your life?
The fucking worst people on the earth.
Let me ask you another question.
If you're my age or whatever, if you've been following politics for the last 23, as long
as Pelosi's been there, have you ever seen one male Republican get in her face?
Seriously, a clip that should be actually go viral or, you know, bleeped.
Ever see one get in her face and go, you're fucking crazy.
I mean, Trump called her crazy all the time.
But do you ever see a Mitch McConnell or anybody?
Look at this psycho bitch.
I'm watching interviews online of her.
And when somebody asks a tough question,
she starts literally twitching.
When somebody says, well, you know,
people say you're not doing it. She literally, she sucks on her dentures and she starts blinking. Unbelievable.
She must've been spoiled, fucking rotten. Anyway, enough about that leathery neck.
They're willing to sacrifice our national character to advance their hatred and their
fear that one day they might not be the party in power, he said.
Here's Trump's lawyer arguing why you can't impeach Trump.
The section I read, judgment, in other words, the bad thing that can happen,
the judgment in cases of impeachment, i.e. what we are doing,
in cases of impeachment ie what we are doing shall not extend further than removal from office what is so hard about that what those which of those
words are unclear shall not extend further than removal from office
President Trump no longer is in office.
The object of the Constitution has been achieved.
He was removed by the voters.
That ain't true either.
He's lying.
He wasn't.
Why would you say that?
Trump couldn't have been happy about that.
He wasn't removed by the voters.
Maybe that's why the Dems are doing this.
They really, they could fall back on Trump's really the president.
You guys say so.
That's why we can do this.
They're winking.
Actually, no, Biden gets smoked in the election.
I should be up there on the yarmulke representing somebody.
How's that for a defense?
If I'm a Democrat.
Wait a minute,
Republican, wait a minute. You guys said that it was stolen, which technically makes him still the president. That's why. Come on. That's a theory I just came up with. Thank God for crack cocaine.
The Democrats are using the same tactics they use, you know, when they walk hand in hand with
the mainstream media and push out their propaganda horseshit, like omitting shit and then putting
shit in. They showed a, like a 14 minute clip to open yesterday, the dumbs. And it just proves
what lying scumbags they really are.
We'll show you till you hear, you know,
it's a bunch of violence on January 6th at the Capitol, but watch the first edit. Yes. Later on, they show him saying peacefully,
but the first edit, you know, right when he's about to say,
we'll go over there peacefully, they jumped to, you know, Oh, Oh.
And half you people in the country, again, you are my fan. So this doesn't,
this isn't directed at you, but half the country is that stupid.
Or they just like, fuck it, do what you got to do to win.
Anyways, here's a couple minutes of the Democrats opening a video showing, because of Trump's words, what went on, that terrible tragedy when somebody stole a nameplate.
Go ahead.
We will stop the steal.
Today I will lay out just some of the evidence proving that we won this election
and we won it by a landslide.
This was not a close election.
And after this, we're going to walk down, and I'll be there with you.
We're going to walk down and I'll be there with you. We're going to walk down.
We're going to walk down to the Capitol.
And peacefully.
Take the Capitol.
Take the Capitol.
Take the Capitol.
I'm staying right here.
Where our problems are, it's that direction.
It's that direction.
It's that direction.
It still doesn't look like they're charging.
It still looks fake to me.
I see fake anger.
I see guys.
Did you see anybody get run over and fucking, you know what I mean?
The only real shit that went on is when they got into the Capitol.
But, you know, Trump said, fuck that.
I'm staying right here. That's why they're impeaching you. What Trump actually said was this. Come back here and tell our enemies
that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.
never take no freedom!
Father!
God, I get a heart on every
time I watch that movie.
Jesus H. Christ.
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah.
So, uh, anyways,
Trump actually, I think we got
what he actually said, right? Here's his actual
speech. I know that everyone here will soon be marching over to the Capitol building
to peacefully and patriotically make your voices heard.
Pause.
There's the key.
Even though we all know this is going to be dead on arrival,
this is all a moot point, but peacefully.
Yeah, when you're inciting a riot,
you know, when you listen to black lives matter and
antifa giving their speeches the word peacefully comes up all the time doesn't it after they burn
shit they said well it was a peaceful protest remember the cnn guy there's flames behind them
literally a fucking wendy's burning most mostly peaceful if you don't count the fucking lawn darts being shot at us and my sister's ass.
So that was what Trump actually said, you know, but who cares about the truth anymore?
Part of Trump's lawyer, Bruce Castor's opening statement, he rambled and politicians from both sides mocked him like Giuliani was
mocking him. And he goes, I don't know what he's trying to do. And both sides were guy.
Where's he going with this? And it was a little he almost admits that they have a good case
after the Dems put their statement up first, their argument, whatever. Listen to what he says.
put their statement up first, their argument, whatever. Listen to what he says. I'll be quite frank with you. We changed what we were going to do on account that we thought that the House
manager's presentation was well done. What? Pause. What? Counselor. Counselor. That's Trump.
He's got a knife in his hand heading to it what it was well done can you imagine trump
watching this donald marlock right he probably picked up a fucking nine iron and took out three
lamps that were worth 85 000 what do you you never say that we thought it was well done you make a
good point case closed hang them go. And I wanted you to know
that we have responses to those things. I thought that what the first part of the case was,
which was the equivalent of a motion to dismiss, was going to be about jurisdiction alone. And
one of the fellows who spoke for the House managers, who was a former criminal defense attorney, seemed to suggest that there's something nefarious that we were discussing jurisdiction and trying to get the case dismissed.
But this is where it happens in the case, because jurisdiction is the first thing that has to be found.
Translator.
We have counter arguments to everything.
Well, get to them, Dick Weed.
And you will hear them later on in the case from Mr. Van Der Veen and from myself.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
You're fired.
He rambled on even more about this shit.
It was, uh, hey, hey, hey.
He's like, we weren't prepared for this.
We thought we were going to talk about jurisdiction well yeah
you know what that's how life is it throws your curveball you have to change on the fly
not very you know i mean you know how trump is he's balls to the wall you can't be
mealy-mouthy up there you're gonna get after it trump lawyer explains the real reason why the
dems are impeaching uh 45 if you want, you know,
you want the truth every once in a while.
Are you interested in the real story?
Yes, let's play it.
Let's understand why we are really here.
We are really here because the majority in the House of Representatives does not want
to face Donald Trump as a political rival in the
future. That's the real reason we're here. You are correct, sir. They've actually said that,
some of the people on the left, because apparently there's some rule, you know,
if you're impeached twice. But again, that implies when you're in office.
This is all show, but you understand, right?
Because you're never going to get the 67 votes
by the fucking Senate, right?
Which they need to impeach.
Do you understand it's a kabuki theater?
You know what it is, folks?
We finally caught on after 40 years.
Hey, look over here, people.
Look at this spectacle.
Meanwhile, Joe Biden and his son
are double teaming some Asianian broad who's worth 60
billion dollars or whatever our nefarious shit the government's doing to fuck us in the ass
what they're doing is holding hands with uh big corporations and you know bringing us global but
again if we focus on this which i gotta do i gotta talk about something and still fucking
makes you irate oh our father who art in heaven hallowed be thy name thy kingdom come thy will
be done on earth as it is in heaven let this crack pipe be passed to a new generation of shitheads
dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun to a new generation of shitheads. Hey, a little serious note here.
I don't know if you guys are familiar with this kid,
A.J. Quetta, hockey player.
Many of you in the Boston Providence area have heard this already, but about two weeks ago,
A.J. Quetta, who you see on the screen, suffered a severe spinal cord injury while playing hockey
for Bishop Feenan High School in Attlemore, Mass. He's a great kid, always smiling, full of energy,
everything you'd want to see in a teenager.
Just a really unfortunate accident what it was.
Anyway, since last week, the local community and the hockey community has really rallied around this kid.
The Bruins got involved heavily.
Bob Kraft is matching funds. And I just watched a video from Ray Bourque, who has come out to support this kid also, along with many, many others.
They actually hang his shirt, the Bruins, every game now, like on the glass.
I'd like to help out, and hopefully you can too.
He's going to need long-term financial support.
And if you're feeling generous or even just humid, I'd encourage you to do so and step up.
You can do that by going to ajsarmy.com.
You can make a donation, bid on NHL auction items, get involved in the golf tournament,
and more to help this kid. It really is a tragedy. Anyways, it's a tough card to be dealt at 17 years
old, but let's do our part to help this kid. AJ, everyone here at the Nick DiPaolo Show is thinking of you, man.
Hang in there.
And again, that's ajsarmy.com.
This one hits home with me because I had a cousin named Alfred back in the late 60s.
He went to Beverly High School, which all my relatives are still there.
It's the town next to where I grew up.
He was an unbelievable athlete. He started as a sophomore in football, all conference or
whatever in football, baseball, catcher, starting catcher, I think as a freshman, actually. He's a
defensive end. They used to triple team him. He was getting letters. He got letters from a couple of big schools after his sophomore year.
He was the president of his class.
The nicest kid you ever want to meet in the world.
Well, one day, him and his buddies were fooling around in the gym before school,
you know, gymnastic equipment.
He did a flip off like a Swedish horse and broke his neck
at 16, I believe. And I mean, talk about devastating. Uh, my dad used to go to the
hospital every night for like, had to be six months to feed them. And, and anyways, this is why this hits home with me. My cousin turned out to be as ambitious and as resourceful, ended up going to UMass, getting a degree in education, became a teacher, actually coached football at Beverly High, and just an unbelievable inspiration, Micah.
So, A.J. Quetta, don't, you know what I mean?
Keep your chin up because you can still live a full life.
And every time I saw my cousin, he had a beautiful girlfriend.
It was just, he was just a, you know,
so this sort of strikes home.
So, do what you can.
Anyways, I want to thank one-time contributions since yesterday to our show.
Jeffrey Pfeiffer, Florida.
Matt Amidon, Wisconsin.
Mark Tayar, Oklahoma.
Mario Landry, New Jersey.
Joseph Safar, Georgia.
And new monthly supporters, Chris Ledwell, Texas.
And Ben Calhoun, California.
Thank you guys so much for, uh, donating to the show because as you know,
big tech is crushing people like me. Um, so we appreciate that very much. Let's get on to the left's evilness. It really is. On the way here, I was listening and I just caught the end of this story. Something about the military is going to have a
stand down day where they all get lectured and vetted for possible domestic extremism in the military.
So this PC horse shit, this big lie about white supremacist and shit
has infiltrated the military.
I mean, we already knew it has when some of the generals
were for changing the names of some of the bases.
So this is scary.
When they start doing this PC shit, which who leads the way in that the democrats
and big corporations with their human resources they're all holding hands now if the military
gets them which it looks like it is we're fucking finished on a major scale but they said listen i
was getting out of my car it said oh a noose was found on the bed or the doorknob of a black sailor on one of the ships.
And then in another military, I think it was another ship, there was hate.
Somebody wrote something hateful on a door, hate speech.
Which, there are guys in the military that still vote Democrat.
I'll bet you a zillion dollars they'll never get to the bottom of it.
Every time somebody leaves a noose or something, what is it?
It's a hoax.
And if I had to bet my life, it would be the same thing.
But the fact that they're having a stand-down day so they can lecture the white guys in the Army,
because a lot of them are from the South and shit, you know, you're the problem.
That's fucking creepy. Maybe i'll have the article tomorrow anyways no lecture though about uh you know no lecture about what happened this summer burning the
fucking country not a word in the military more double speaking of double standards
and selective outrage and memory loss from the mainstream media and the Democrats, the media frenzy surrounding the January 6th protest at the U.S. Capitol are escalating ahead of President Trump's second fake impeachment trial.
at how take a look how and how take a look at how the cnn's of the world treated january 6th and the riot at the capitol and welcome to the lead i'm jake tapper the deadly
domestic terrorist attack on the united states capitol incited by president trump and members
of the republican party what what i don't like your? What? I don't like your jerk-off name.
I don't like your jerk-off face.
I don't like your jerk-off behavior.
And I don't like you, jerk-off.
He is the fucking worst now.
Did you hear that?
Incited by the president and Republicans.
He just cast a net over about, you know, 100 million people.
Don't be afraid to paint with a broad brush, fuckstain.
It's a double standard.
I'll show you why.
Are you interested in the real story?
Yes, I am.
However, Democrats have conveniently forgotten the scenes of violence that were carried out
during President Trump and even President George W. Bush's inauguration by radical left wing douchebags.
Do you guys remember? This is on. Keep this in mind. This was on Trump's inauguration day.
This what was this is what was going on in D.C. at the Capitol.
During President Trump's speech, several demonstrators were escorted out of the
area several officers injured during the protest today and more than a hundred people arrested Trump's inauguration day.
Trump isn't the only Republican the scenes from when President George W. Bush was inaugurated and radical leftists descended on Washington, D.C.
Over 7,000 police were brought in to protect the Capitol as thousands more black-clad, left-wing extremists tried to disrupt Bush's inauguration, setting off violent protests
and attacking the officers. Amazingly, the Democrat mayor of D.C. at the time,
Mayor Anthony Williams, condemned the protesters, calling them spiteful and telling them to give
President Bush a break. Now, with Democrats dismissing the mountains of proof of actual
voting fraud, they resort to sending in 20,000 heavily armed soldiers to the Capitol.
Oh, my God. You fucking hypocrite. You fucking believe that? Huh? Did you see after all that
violence? Remember, they burned the limo on Trump's inauguration. Did you see us? Did you see, after all that violence, remember they burned the limo on Trump's inauguration?
Did you see us? Did you see Trump call in the whole military to put a fence up around?
No, you didn't. This is all a farce. We all know the left is the most dangerous.
See how they reported it? Did you hear the left back then fucking going uh-oh
domestic terror we we gotta vet these people nothing not a goddamn word you should be
disgusted with yourselves
speak on a lefties here's another story uh again this falls under the cat we're gonna have to come up with a
new segment jason call hey look over here not over there here look over here but but but this
even if it's a distraction this type of shit it really happens and it just it makes your
fucking belly laugh there's a guy what's his name elijah daniel elijah
come on producer get a clue it's elijah daniel thank you The guy, what's his name? Elijah, Daniel Elijah.
Come on, producer.
Get a clue.
It's Elijah Daniel.
Thank you.
Daniel Elijah.
Elijah Daniel.
There he is.
I don't know if he's gay or not, but he's now the CEO of Gay Burgers for Delivery.
He's a YouTube prankster, activist.
Elijah Daniel has unveiled his latest stunt.
Yeah, it's a stunt, but it's real.
Gay Burger, a virtual restaurant brand that will donate all proceeds to the Los Angeles LGBT,
or as I say, the BLT with heavy mayo, lettuce,
the LGBT Center in Los Angeles.
Jesus Christ, we can't leave it alone for a second.
Ah, the homosexuals.
Let's take a look at,
look at it.
It's the Burger King guy making out with Ronald McDonald.
That's actually clever.
A thumbs up on that. Hold the special sauce. The open mic is set in New Jersey.
Here you go. Meat between buns. Seems pretty gay already. Let's make it gayer for Jerry.
I'm guessing he's gay. maybe he's just fucking poking fun or
whatever um really can i ask you a question what do you really need money lgbt how come when you
move into neighborhoods shitty neighborhoods you gentrify them in five minutes where's that money
come from i think you're doing all right uh look there's nothing gay about those burgers. I'd sit on those bare ass. Look at those.
How delicious.
Oh, my God.
Those are called the Dick Cheney specials.
They clog your heart in about three seconds.
God, they look delicious. Please give me a cup.
Here we go.
We have the actual menu.
Jesus Christ.
The Storm Combo.
That's a baby daddy in gay fries and a drink.
Now here's some burgers.
Love me daddy.
One studly beef daddy patty topped with one slice of American cheese, pickles, diced white onions, house gaoli, and shredded lettuce.
You and your son look like a fag to me.
Here we go.
We got the beef me up Scotty.
Little homage to Star Trek.
Two stubbly beef daddy patties, two slices of American cheese, pickles, diced white onions.
It's almost the same thing.
House gaioli and shredded lettuce.
Here's the help me daddy.
Double beef daddy patties, double American cheese, caramelized onions, pickles, bacon, fries, and house gaioli.
A lot of daddy issues in these burgers.
Not my dad!
You also hear something
ugly as fucking
doodly.
Not my dad!
Not my dad!
Here's the I like chicks burger.
Hey, at least he's
being inclusive.
Fried chicken daddy patty
topped with house gaoli,
mustard shredded lettuce,
and pickles.
That's a heterosexual burger.
Good for them.
Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.
Does that come with gay fries, Sabrina?
Baby daddy grilled cheese.
Double slices of Central American cheese on a thick potato bun.
No more milk daddy.
What does that mean?
No more Milk Daddy. What does that mean? No more Milk Daddy.
I know men can menstruate and have abortions.
Now they're lactating.
No more Milk Daddy?
Oh, is that a jizz reference?
Please tell me no.
That's too gross for me.
Anyways, what's that?
That's a vegan daddy patty, sliced tomato, diced white onions, pickles, and shredded lettuce.
God, they're pretty much the same.
And then you got your sides, gay fries, fries but they're gay, you know.
Extremely gay fries where, obviously, somebody tops it with something.
Gay fries topped with caramelized onions.
What is that, a euphemism?
Cheese and bacon.
Then you get the gay cookie.
Well, all cookies are faggy and gay.
Chocolate chip cookie. Then bottled water. Then you get the gay cookie. Well, all cookies are faggy and gay. Chocolate chip cookie.
Then bottled water.
But there's nothing gay about the water?
Nothing?
You didn't put a rainbow on the bottle?
No?
Doesn't come with a swizzle stick shaped like a dick?
I feel ripped off on that one.
Anyways, good luck, whatever your name is.
Elijah Daniel
or Daniel Elijah?
It's Elijah first?
I'm sorry,
I live in America.
He looks more
all-American than me.
Most of the guys I know,
I don't know if he's gay or not.
Again,
if this was a good show,
I would have looked it up,
but who gives a fuck?
Looks like he gets
a lot of snatch if he wanted it, but most gays look like it.
Nick, how can you say most gays? You really shut it. I generalize on purpose because it
makes people cuckoo. And by the way, the left does it more than anybody right now.
It's those white Republican, you know, the racist bigots, the people who cling to their Bibles and guns.
White people are just afraid of change.
White women called Karen, you know, that type of shit.
Tanisha, Aisha, Fangula Bagana.
Speaking of black women.
I knew this was coming
I thought this would be the first thing
remember Aunt Jemima we all do
see that
nice lady look at her teeth on her
nice head of hair
holy shit looks like somebody
oh no it is
I'm doing Joe Pesci
Aunt Jemima
what about her?
Well, Quaker Oats is releasing a new name and logo
because we have to wipe out the history of this country
for its Aunt Jemima products,
finally retiring the racist stereotype.
Yes, it's a pretty black woman with nice teeth.
Getting rid of the racist stereotype
that has adorned its pancake mixes
and syrups for decades.
They asked Aunt Jemima,
the lady that was based on how she felt.
What folks says about this family,
I does.
I has told you and told you
that you can always tell a lady
but the way that she eat
in front of folks like a bird.
And I ain't aiming for you
to go to Mr. John Wilkinson's
and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog.
The name Aunt Jemima,
long criticized as a racist character of black women
stemming from slavery,
will be replaced with Pearl Milling Company.
Oh yeah, that's catchy.
Pearl Milling Company.
Sounds like they grind metal.
Pearl Milling Company name and logo on the former brand's new packaging,
according to parent company PepsiCo.
Well, let me ask you this.
If I'm a black person, I'd be like, wait a minute.
We had something that represents, and you're taking that away?
Replacing it with a white company?
How is that right?
You people are fucking so confused.
It's the PepsiCo company.
Of course, they say, we are starting a new day with Pearl Milling Company.
A PepsiCo spokesperson said, a new day rooted in the brand's historic beginnings and its
mission to create moments that matter at the breakfast table.
The only moments that matter is if your wife gives you a handjob while you're finishing
your fucking Count Chocula.
How's that?
The new brand is scheduled to launch in june let me circle my
calendar one year after the company announced the change aunt jemima was one of several food
brands including uncle ben's cream of wheat which is delicious like uncle ben you know what's funny
about every time i see that now there's a there episode on The Sopranos where Meadows is dating this African-American kid.
He's Jewish and black.
And Tony obviously has a fucking run-in with a kid.
Anyways, the kid leaves.
Tony's all, you know, he used to fucking have seizures.
So he's all flustered when the kid leaves.
He goes into the kitchen, and it might even have been the next episode,
but the two episodes are about her having a black boyfriend.
He opens the cabinet to get, I think it was Uncle Ben's rice,
and he looks at it, and he passes out.
He falls face first in the kitchen.
Anyways, Uncle Ben's cream of wheat and Mrs. Butterworth's to announce redesigns as protests
against systemic racism erupted across the United States this summer.
I thought, I look at it like they're paying tribute.
You know what I mean?
It turned into a racist character. Is it because we're black? Yes. they're paying tribute. You know what I mean? It turned into a racist character.
Is it because we're black?
Yes.
We're paying homage.
Do you know what I mean?
When they put her on that, or Uncle Ben, they didn't do it to be racist.
Right?
I'm guessing.
You can't take today's standards, once again, contemporary standards, and apply them to 1950, whenever the company started, or way back.
You know what I mean?
They didn't do that to make fun of black people.
I'd like my face on a goddamn bottle of Italian dressing.
Something.
You know, in a Camaro with a gold chain like it was in high school.
I just don't.
The Pearl Milling Company was the late 19th century business that created the original
ready-made pancake mix, according to PepsiCo.
It was founded in 1888 by Chris Rutt.
Rutt named the original company after old Aunt Jemima, an 1875 song from a minstrel show
that I have it on my playlist.
I work out to it.
It features performers in blackface
who wore aprons and bandanas and headbands.
Oh, come on, Hillary.
Do you see what I'm saying?
It was created at that time as like a tribute to that, not to make them.
And then it turned into something racist, as the left will take anything.
Anyways, news out of Aunt Jemima's rebranding in June started a domino effect among food brands with racist or otherwise controversial mascots.
Within hours of the announcement,
the Mars Food Company announced it would do away with the brand name and logo for Uncle Ben's Rice,
eventually rebranding itself as Ben's Original.
Again, more distractions. Conagra-owned syrup makers of Mrs. Buttersworth, whose humanoid bottle shape looks like a woman of color when filled with maple syrup.
Yeah, but when it's empty, it looks like a white woman.
So it's like it's biracial.
It's perfect.
Or when it's half full, it looks like a biracial person.
Looks like a woman. Did anybody ever think of that? I didn't. Woman of color
when filled with maple syrup. Announced they were changing the brand's name on the same day.
And one day later, Cream of Wheat's parent, B&G Foods, said it was doing away with its black chef
logo. Were they going to replace it with a welder from fucking Ohio? Which was based on a dim-witted blackface minstrel show character seen in the early 20th century cream of weed ads.
PepsiCo, wow, early 20th century.
I didn't know it went back that far.
PepsiCo said Pearl Mill and Company will also announce an annual $1 million commitment to empower and uplift black girls and women in the coming weeks how do you feel
about that black guys the investment is in addition to pepsico's 400 million dollar five
year commitment to advance and uplift the black community the company said uplift them where oh
for you if we keep uplifting them they they're going to be ahead of white people.
That's what they say we say, you know.
Oh, my God.
Do you think we have butchered the issue of race in this country?
Can we butcher it anymore?
The Dems grabbed hold of that, and they beat us over the head with it for 40 years, and they're winning.
So I suggest people on the right, don't be ashamed of your ethnicity. Get out there and, I don't know, raise some hell. Don't be mean.
Let's stay on, since we talked about Mrs. Butterworth, let's talk about another heavyset
black woman. This is an evil, horrible story, by the way way and and again you guys probably haven't even heard it
and again if the races were reversed in the story you would be so sick of hearing about it for the
next 10 years there's a cooking show i think it's on the food network they have a show the
america's worst cooks or something well the that won it, she's been charged in her daughter's death.
The Worst Cooks in America winner, charged with killing her three-year-old daughter,
had tweeted about her adopted kid.
She adopted a white baby.
The killer, the mother, had tweeted about her adopted kid's white privilege.
She had a white little boy, too, days earlier,
and how she would protect
them from the evil of this world.
Ariel Robinson, 29, I don't even know which one's the woman.
Oh my God.
Ariel Robinson, you fat nasty black bitch.
And her husband, Jerry, 34, are both charged with a homicide by child abuse over little Victoria Rose Smith,
who died from multiple blunt force injuries in their home in South Carolina on January 14th.
Can you fucking imagine?
Who's an animal?
Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch.
Robinson, who won season 20 of the Food Network show,
repeatedly posted pictures of the young girl,
one of three white children she and her husband adopted almost a year.
Yeah, what better way we can take our anger out on white people?
We'll just adopt a couple little white kids and kick the shit out.
You evil motherfucker.
I wonder if the Food Network's going to have to shut down now because she was
on the course.
Not they are missing the puzzle pieces and they will complete our family.
She wrote on the,
uh,
the day last February when she finally got to meet them.
Robinson then addressed the white privilege,
her adopted children
in a series of January 6 tweets sparked by watching the Capitol riots. She says, and I quote,
in my house, my black children get treated the same as my white children, and my white children
get treated the same as my black children, she wrote. It's a shame that when they go out into
the real world, that won't be the case, she wrote, along with the hashtags, hashtag white privilege and hashtag black lives matter. Do you see, seriously, do you see what
this poison ideology over the last 20, 30, 40 years has done to people? Makes them into literally
killers. I will never have to worry about my white sons. And that makes me happy, she wrote,
white sons and that makes me happy she wrote saying she was sad that every worry uh every worry i don't have for them will be multiplied for my black sons
just uh who gives a fuck what you think exactly why are we hearing from it's a shame that as a
proud mom to four beautiful boys, I can't protect them
from the reality and evils of this world. Again, implying to white people. Once they leave the
house, I'm a mama bear and I'll do anything to protect my children, she wrote. Oh my God.
You never looked heavier. She vowed to make sure the futures are equally bright because
they have the same opportunities
and are treated as equals the way God made them.
There should be no hashtag white privilege, only American privilege, she wrote again,
including a Black Lives Matter hashtag.
Police were called to the family's home in Simpsonville after Victoria was unresponsive
and she was pronounced dead at a local hospital.
The Robinsons were charged after the coroner's office and Simpsonville Police Department
determined that Victoria's death was a direct result of physical abuse.
Officials told the news.
Can you think of anything more fucking evil?
This is what they should do to these two racist savages.
Hey, he got it.
He got it.
Yeah, nice shot.
Squeal! Squeal!
Squeal!
Ah!
Let's have a trial
to make sure, you know.
Look at that.
Oh my God, it makes me fucking...
Sometimes I avoid these stories, folks,
but when there's one every day,
whatever, you gotta...
I only do it to point out once again if that
was a little black girl and those people were white
do you understand it would be on a
loop
it would be the nation would be talking about it
fucking
cowardly media
they're worse than the politicians who they
work with I swear to god
oh
finally tonight on meet the press work with, I swear to God. Oh!
Finally tonight on Meet the Press.
Cuomo!
Andrew Cuomo.
You believe he wrote a book about
how great he was during the pandemic
when he had the deaths of so many
old people on his... I think he's getting
sued by some people, actually. Cuomo's
plan to reopen
entertainment a joke, said the headline. A Big Apple comedy club owner thinks Governor Andrew
Cuomo's sudden plan to jumpstart the local entertainment industry is a joke. They asked
him what he thought about it. I despise it with every fiber of my being. This is a stand up New
York. I play this many times. I never,
it's one of my least favorite. They've got great guys that run it. No, I just never,
it's on the Upper West Side, never connected with the audiences there. And they got weirder
as the, when I first moved to New York, it was a hot club. Then it just got neighborhood people,
just Upper West Side, people think they shit ice cream come in and I just never dug it.
just up at Westside, people think they should ice cream come in and I just never dug it.
Anyways, the owner of Stand Up New York said, I thought it was an onion piece at first, said Danny Zoldan, co-owner of Up Westside Comedy Club. Stand Up New York is the name of the club.
The governor on Monday announced an upcoming program of star-studded pop-up performances.
What does that mean?
Everywhere from subway plat, what, Barbra Streisand going to pop out of the C car?
What the fuck?
Hey.
Hey, look, everybody, it's Jennifer Hudson behind a hot dog stand banging out some hits.
Everywhere from subway platforms to local parks, many of which will be free of charge.
Oh, that helps the performance.
But Zoldan said struggling independent venues like his have already been organized in similar outdoor events during the coronavirus pandemic, only illegally.
They had to to survive.
I know some comics who do these outdoor things. the coronavirus pandemic only illegally. They had to, to survive.
I know some comics who do these outdoor things.
You're standing on a roof in Brooklyn on a winter.
I'll just say this to my comedian friends out there.
Clubs are opening, you know, at least down South.
So, you know, get yourself booked.
Outdoor shows aren't even allowed.
This is again, the owner of Stand Up New York saying,
but we've been doing it anyways because we have nothing to lose, said Zoldan.
His club has produced more than, get this, 500 outdoor events in parks across Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens since May
and hosts shows every Saturday night on the one train.
Wait a minute.
An actual show on the one train?
I, I, I.
minute. An actual show on the one train? He says, we've proven that we've been able to do it safely, said Zoldan. And then Cuomo goes and announces this plan to create all this outdoor programming
free of charge. It's not showing consideration for independent venues that are struggling to
survive, he added. He's right on the goddamn money, isn't he? It's just so ridiculous.
Instead of organizing performances,
the state should be working with venues directly
to figure out how they can safely reopen, Zoldan said.
And he's right on the goddamn money.
Still, despite his critique of the program,
Zoldan allowed that, he says,
I guess it's good for New Yorkers
because he's a good guy.
And I saw one of these.
I saw a pop-up show.
It was a hip-hop kid doing an old pop-up show.
And apparently the crowd didn't like it.
What?
Niggas know what it is.
So my hand, they just be snapping it.
But guess what, baby girl?
Me and your pussy, that's what's happening.
Nigga.
Shut the fuck up, boy.
That's hip-hop, boy.
Now what you gonna do?
You got knocked the fuck out, man!
Oh my God!
Can we see that again?
Niggas know what it is, so my hand
they just be snapping it, but guess what, baby girl?
Me and your pussy, that's what's happening.
Shut the fuck up, boy.
Now what you gonna do? Now what you gonna do?
Now what you gonna do?
Did you see him wind up from his ass?
That kid has...
I don't see it.
See, that's what's happening.
Nigga, shut the fuck up, boy.
Oh, God.
Now what you gonna do?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Anyways, that's it for today.
I thought I'd throw that in there.
It's a pop-up show.
I'm not gonna do any.
I know why I'm laughing.
That's how that girl,
when she punched me with a closed fist that hard.
And I didn't go down.
I never went down, Ray.
You never got me down, Mary.
That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't forget cameo.com.
If you want me to make a personal message on my cell phone roasting a friend or relative or something, I will do that.
You go to Cameo.com, click on my profile.
You tell me a little bit about the person, and I make the video, send it right to them.
People use them as birthday gifts if they're fans of mine or whatever.
It's a lot of fun.
Anything else, Jason?
That it?
What's that?
Thecomicsgym.com.
Thecomicsgym.com.
Thecomicsgym, G-Y-M, like gymnasium.com.
That's where this show is going to be permanently based.
So move your stuff over there.
We love you, man.
You guys think it, I'll say it.
You're very welcome.
See you back here tomorrow.
Bye-bye. guitar solo I'm out.