The Nick DiPaolo Show - Impeachment Score: Trump 2, Dems 0 | Nick Di Paolo Show #490
Episode Date: February 15, 2021The Senate acquits Trump again. Van derVeen shines in Trump defense. RINOs react to Trump's acquittal. ...
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🎵 Hello, folks.
Welcome to the show on another Monday.
Another week has gone by in February.
Damn.
How you doing, folks?
Pretty good?
It's been raining for what, 19 days here in Georgia?
Fucking Christ already.
Still better than...
Finally, by the way, the house that I've been trying to sell up in New York.
Finally.
Done deal.
No more mortgage. no more mortgage no more mortgage as maury said in goodfellas uh no more
monthly nut but uh that's kind of bittersweet because i'm like okay that's a fucking load off
every month and i'm like uh that means i'm old when you fucking rip through a 30-year mortgage
or whatever you don't do the whole 30, but you know what I'm saying.
Jesus.
Age Christ.
Oh, fucking.
Good riddance.
Still talk to our neighbors up there, the new people, you know,
trying to bring the moving truck down.
It's icy and the truck gets...
Ah.
Hey, I know this is off topic, but this makes me a nerd and a fag but I like American Idol
still like it I do because and I told you this before you guys have never been on audition
you know how fucking scary it can be but those are those it's a kid from Kentucky
country singer 17 years old fucking grew up on a farm, big fucker, right?
Just big nerdy. Sounds like he's got the voice of a 55-year-old, you know, Hank Williams or whatever.
Freak of nature talented, right? And then there was this black girl. You guys are like,
are you really talking about America? Yes, I am. I appreciate it. All the PC shit where everybody
has to cry on the show and all the sob stories. Yes, it's fucking shows how weak we are. But I still like to see talented people. There's a black girl, 17 years old from Arkansas. I will bet anybody. Fucking, I don't know how you get the money to me. I'm betting her. It was last night. She was a, she fucking made Aretha Franklin sound like a hack.
17-year-old black chick.
I think she did Aretha.
It freaks me out that these kids, I don't know if it's because of the internet,
they have zero nerves when the camera comes on, some of them.
They're just so used to, I don't know, they live in this world. They think they're stars on social media, but they walk into this fucking,
like they own it.
I have never heard a fucking voice like this black girl
in my fucking life.
God, I wish I could somehow bet on her or put,
I don't know, manager.
Nice going, Missy.
Phone's ringing off the hook.
RCA, that's not a record company anymore, anyways, EMI,
but anyways, I'm just saying, I think you can bet on it, Vegas, I'm gonna load up on her,
let's get to it, I know that was pretty, you're like, what the fuck, I like it,
I like talented people, speaking of talented people, Donald Trump finally has some lawyers, I should say lawyer, singular, who are
providing that anger that I've been looking for in people to defend him. Boy, Michael Vanderbeen,
I don't know if it's Michael, I made that up, but oh my God, wait till you show, I'm going to show
you him. Did he rip some assholes over the weekend? So Trump, as you know, was acquitted 5743 or whatever the fuck.
Seven jerk off Republicans voted with the Democrats.
They should be hanged at midnight or noon.
What time is it?
Oh, it's too late for that.
Yeah, they should already be dead.
Former President Trump on Saturday thanked his lawyers and senators who voted against his impeachment conviction
thanked his lawyers and senators who voted against his impeachment conviction and foreshadowed his political future in a statement following the 5743 Senate vote to acquit him of inciting an
insurrection. So he's very happy about that, Martin Donamara Lago. Hey, everybody, we're all
going to get laid. He added, this has been yet another phase of the greatest witch hunt in the history of our country.
No president has ever gone through anything like it.
And it continues because our opponents cannot forget the almost 75 million.
I really think it's 80 people, the highest number ever for a sitting president who voted for us just a few short months ago.
So it's right on the money.
You are correct, sir.
The vote Saturday was significantly more votes
than the 48-52 vote in 2020 Senate trial,
but still 10 short of what would have been needed to convict.
You need 67 there.
The trial this week was the shortest
presidential impeachment trial ever.
And why was that?
Because it was all a fucking sham. And again, it's a distraction. Look over here while Joe Biden is
letting fucking criminals pour in over here, get vaccinated before you, all the shit that they said
they were going to do. Look over here. What a joke it was. We've reported some of the shit they tried to pull with a fucking
check mark next to some woman who had jennifer lawrence who didn't even yeah i had 11 followers
and uh joaquin castro we'll get to it he fucking lied about shit they have the scummiest people
on earth trump also foreshadowed his political future. He said, and I quote, a historic patriot beautiful movement
to make America great again
has only just begun.
In the months ahead,
I have much to share with you.
My mushroom cap break
and I look forward to continuing
our incredible journey
together to achieve American greatness
for our all people.
I've never been anything like it.
His favorite phrase, there's never been anything like it.
This guy would bite into a fillet of fish and say,
there's never been anything like it,
except for the one at Burger King I had a couple hours ago.
Senate Democrats are under fire from all sides
after striking a deal to avoid witnesses
in former President Trump's impeachment trial
shortly after voting to allow them in former President Trump's impeachment trial shortly after voting
to allow them in a last-minute measure. So they said, we want witnesses to come forward.
And then when Van Der Veen and their lawyers called them on their horseshit,
they showed their true colors. Of course, that didn't sit well with cunt-faced Pelosi. She's
out of her leathery nipple tits.
The trial seemed as though it would conclude on Saturday afternoon.
But House impeachment manager Rep.
Jamie Raskin, with the worst hair in the history of the Senate.
What did he just get out of the shower?
He just lost a kid and shit.
You know, he's so evil.
It doesn't bother me one bit.
Sad for the kid.
Fuck you.
Announced that he was seeking testimony from a witness. That witness was Rep. Jamie Herrera
Butler, Republican from Washington, was prepared to discuss the details of a phone call between
Trump and House Majority Leader Kevin McCarthy, in which the former president, Butler alleges,
indicated his support for the Capitol
rioters after the attack was underway oh really so why didn't she come forward and speak
no more women in the Senate or the Congress I'm saying it right now get out
I want angry men like Van Der Veen that That's all you guys should vote for. Let's clean house.
The Senate proceeded to allow witnesses by a 55 to 45 vote.
But then after two hour recess and they said, what?
We're lying cocksuckers.
We can't do this.
An agreement was struck to allow Beutler's statement to be read into the record in exchange
for her not being called.
This trial swiftly proceeded to closing arguments
and a final vote is now once again
expected late Sunday.
We got that vote.
He was, you know, acquitted
and no witnesses came forward.
Look at him.
It really is.
They are mentally,
and again,
I know they're getting instructions, you know, I know they hate him and and again, I know they're getting instructions,
you know,
I know they hate him and shit,
but I know they're going,
how do we distract the people from what Biden and that douchebag Kamala Harris are doing?
Just keep that in mind,
folks.
When you watch that or you read a story about transgender or a racist story,
that's all the shit is.
Keeping us busy with that.
I have to report on it.
What else am I going to talk about? My huge penis. That'll be a racist story. That's all that shit is. Keeping us busy with that. I have to report on it. What else am I going to talk about?
My huge penis?
That'll be a short show.
Trump attorney.
Here's the guy.
Here's my new hero in all this mess.
I don't know where this guy has been.
Why he wasn't right from the beginning working with whoever.
Sidney Powell or whatever.
Trump attorney Michael Van Der Veen.
That's him as happy as he's ever been.
What does he look like there?
Looks like Ron Paul having a stroke.
Look at those fucking Hawkeyes.
He wants to rip somebody's head off.
I love this guy.
He makes Bernie Sanders.
Look, just, you know, like Bob Barker, happy go.
Bob Barker, is that the best you could?
Yeah, it's fucking Monday.
Trump attorney Michael Van Der Veen rips off microphone after questioning from a CBSN anchor.
I'm going to show you the clip in a second.
What was funny was this clip was about three minutes long,
and they were yelling at each other in the beginning,
and then it calmed down.
So I only showed you the end when he had enough.
Where has this guy been?
This is how you call the media out on their horseshit.
One thing I didn't like when we showed the clip,
he says, I'm sick of the media.
Then he said both sides.
Again, I hate that equivocation.
Both sides?
Really?
I'm sick of the media.
Then he said both sides.
Again, I hate that equivocation.
Both sides?
Really?
What fucking, what media, right-wing media supposedly is evil and lies as much as the left?
Don't give me this both sides shit.
Fox, they're not even fucking conservative anymore.
Never really were.
But Tucker, a little advice.
Get out of there.
You could go to Newsmax and probably they'd probably give you $45.
They'd open the bank for you.
So get out of there before we lose respect for you.
Nick, who the fuck are you to tell Tucker Carlson as you sit in his fucking room?
So here is three clips of Mr. Van Der Veen,
who is just as, I love it, cantankerous.
He has had enough.
His temperament probably represents all Americans.
Well, not all.
You know, the ones, the real Americans who like this country.
But in this first one, he gets into it with this woman from CBS or whatever.
And he just, he's for the truth is what he's for.
Are you interested in the real story?
Yes, let's see it.
You have won the acquittal of your client.
Yes, I did.
And if you'd like to continue to talk about this conversation, we can have that discussion.
I don't need to.
But for me to ask a question, for me to ask a question to clarify for our viewers, what
you're talking about is a fair question.
A slanted question that was set up to say it's okay for them to cheat.
That was your question.
Isn't it okay for them to cheat?
I didn't say that.
It's just a little bit.
You said, to be fair, it was only a check on the Twitter.
That's what you said.
Pause.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Words mean something.
When fucking Republicans are being interviewed, they should hang on every word like a good lawyer does. She said, to be fair, it was only a fake checkmark next to the, to be fair, which is saying they only cheated a little. It's exactly what she fucking meant.
and this guy got all, and then she's talking over him and he only gets angrier.
I fucking love this guy.
If I ever get arrested for cutting my neighbor's head off.
Go ahead.
You got to live by your words.
That's the problem.
The media has to start living by the truth.
Amen.
And not try to create a narrative.
Michael Van Der Veen.
Yeah.
Thank you for joining us.
I do appreciate.
Okay.
I see you taking off your microphone.
She goes, Michael van der Veen.
And he goes, yeah, citizen.
And then he drops the mic on the floor.
You can hear the fucking thing.
Boom.
He let her have it.
Fuck you mother.
That's basically what he said.
Where has he been?
Full of piss and vinegar.
Oh, my God.
Fucking love him.
We got more.
That's him right after the Eagles won the Super Bowl.
He's from Philly.
I just absolutely love this guy.
And the next clip, Van De Veen, he threatens because the Democrats said we want to,
when they were talking about, you know, call of witnesses after this.
He said, OK, I'm going to take depositions from Kamala Harris and everybody else.
And let it go.
For the House managers to say we need depositions about things that happened after.
It's not just not true.
But but if he does, there are a lot of depositions that need to be happening.
Nancy Pelosi's deposition needs to be.
Come on.
Vice President Harris's deposition absolutely needs to be taken. Come on. Vice President Harris's deposition absolutely needs to be taken.
And not by Zoom.
None of these depositions should be done by Zoom.
We didn't do this hearing by Zoom.
These depositions should be done in person in my office in philadelphia
oh boy is this great
in philadelphia oh my god van der been
oh goodness that didn't happen him as a dad must have been a real prick
prom night be home by eight o'clock i'll knock you out good for you
uh in philadelphia philadelphia
and then um he calls out one of the guys i hate the most, Joaquin, not Phoenix.
Joaquin, what the fuck?
Castro, thank you.
How did I forget that?
Joaquin Castro.
Scumbag, half a fag in my opinion.
Nick, that's got nothing to do with it.
Yeah, it does.
Van de Veen calls a house manager, I think it was Castro, on his dishonest tactics. This one's about two
minutes long, and I'm playing the whole thing because, again, the guy listens to what the
jerk-offs have to say, and he calls them on their bullshit. Go ahead. But I can't let this rest.
Mr. Castro attributed a statement the time before last that he was up here
that Donald Trump had told his people to fight to the death
I'm not from here I'm not like you guys I was being very polite and giving an opportunity
to correct the record and I thought that's exactly what he would do.
But instead what he did is he came up and illustrated the problem with the presentation of the House case. It's been smoke and mirrors and worse it's been dishonest. He came up and
tried to cover when he got caught as they were caught earlier today with all of the
evidence checking tweets switching dates everything they did and bear in mind I had two days
to look at their evidence and when I say two days I mean they started putting in their evidence so
I started to be able to get looking at it
They all have a little theater in them that is not the way this should be done But what we discovered was he knew what he was doing
He knew that the president didn't say that to his people
What he said was if it happened to the Dems, this is what they would do in his speech that day
You know what he said?
He said, if this happened to the Democrats,
if the election was stolen from the Democrats,
all hell would break loose.
But, he said to his supporters,
we are smarter, we are stronger,
and we're going to do what they did all summer long.
Motherless fucks you.
So what he did was he misrepresented a tweet to you to put forth the narrative that is wrong.
It's wrong.
It's dishonest. And the American people don't deserve this any longer.
You must acquit.
Oh, and they did.
Imagine Joaquin saying Trump said fight to the death.
Gee, it'll be hard to check.
What an arrogant ass.
You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole.
That was Van Der Veen after.
How good is that guy?
They must have.
Trump said, listen, we're going to fucking calm the country for the angriest, smartest guy out there.
we're going to fucking call him a country for the angriest, smartest guy out there.
Anyways, Mitch McConnell didn't vote to convict only because he knew it was unconstitutional.
But he threw Trump under the bus, this chinless.
Zoom in on that face.
Look at this guy. We have to get rid of him. He is the fucking problem right here. That's him coming in bed. What's he having a
stroke there? McConnell, the spineless, chinless, feckless leader of the Republican,
trashes the very guy that saved his piece of shit party.
Like I said, he didn't vote to convict because he knew it was unconstitutional,
but he might as well, his attitude and why he did, you know,
what he really thought was good luck getting elected again.
Maybe he has, maybe this is good news.
This is a sign he's had enough.
But you think Trump's going away ever?
It's like Jason, He'll be back.
Are you kidding me?
Here's what the chinless fucking fruit cup had to say.
President Trump's actions preceded the riot.
Preceded the riot.
Disgraceful.
Disgraceful.
Disgraceful.
Disgraceful.
Derelection.
Camera on me.
Of duty.
Disgraceful.
Disgraceful.
Disgraceful.
Derelection.
Camera on me.
On duty.
McConnell went on to say Trump is still liable for everything he did while he was in office.
He didn't get away with anything yet. We have a criminal justice system in this country.
We have litigation and civil litigation, and former presidents are not immune from being accountable by either one.
Really? Is that what you think, Jackoff? Who gives a fuck what you think?
Here's a list of the traitors and people who should be taken out at midnight
and do what you want with them. I don't want to get too graphic.
Do what you want with them.
I don't want to get too graphic.
My thing involves a can of gasoline, a Bic lighter, and a bunch of rope.
But you get the point.
I don't want to say, Republican Senator Richard Burr of North Carolina.
Look at him, rat-faced cocksucker.
Susan Collins, who has a cock from Maine.
She talks like this. Bill Cassidy, Louisiana. Who the fuck
are you? Nice haircut. Lisa Murkowski of Alaska also. Look at her, chicken hawk. Mitt Romney,
two-faced cocksucker who I used to like from Utah. And of course, Ben Sasse of Nebraska,
Nebraska, who's hated Trump since he got in office.
He's hiding his Nebraska teeth.
And Pat Toomey of Pennsylvania, the most corrupt.
These are Republicans who voted to convict Trump.
Nice knowing you.
You're all going to be primaried.
I know a couple of them just got reelected.
So they're using that as a buffer.
Some of them are going to be primary, I'm guessing.
When Trump got the list of the people traded, he said this.
We ain't partners.
We ain't brothers and we ain't friends.
That's right.
Look at him, he's there.
Who?
Who the fuck did that to me?
I'll cut their heads off on national TV.
The vote means the Senate cannot bar Trump from holding future federal offices.
And that was part of it.
Again, distraction, but they were hoping if he got convicted, he'd never be able to run again.
But uh-uh, uh-oh.
See how, folks, we already knew, right?
We knew they didn't have the votes.
But you put it on TV and it keeps us distracted.
It's a sad commentary on our times that one political party in America, I think it's Trump
saying, is given a free pass to denigrate the rule of law, defame law enforcement, cheer
mobs, excuse rioters, and transform justice into a tool of political vengeance and persecute,
blacklist, cancel, and suppress all people in viewpoints with whom or which they disagree.
Trump said,
as he read it from a piece of paper,
Bannon wrote.
I mean,
I love Trump,
but that didn't sound like Trump at all.
That was way too eloquent.
I think it was more like,
I'll kill these cocksuckers.
I know where Murkowski lives.
I've been to Alaska a couple of times. Richard Tobey, look at the size of his forehead. I'll kill these cocksuckers. I know where Murkowski lives. I've been to Alaska a couple times.
Richard Tobey, look at the size of his forehead.
I'll draw a target on it.
You know who else had to weigh in?
Fucking boy, Lindsey Graham.
Ah, the homosexuals.
He had to weigh in, and he said,
I don't see how Kamala Harris doesn't get impeached.
He said this on FNC on Sunday when he was asked about the latest
idiot fucking attempt by the Dems to impeach the Don.
He said the gist of McConnell's speech was that he thought that Trump was guilty,
but that he didn't feel the Senate had the power
to impeach someone who had already left office.
Wallace then asked Graham what he thought on the subject,
and he said Senator McConnell got a load off his chest.
A load off his chest, huh?
Ah, the homosexuals. How do you get a load off your chest ah the homosexuals how do you get a load off your chest a baby wipe
get out of here with that shit
that was unnecessary uh obviously but unfortunately he put a load on the back
of republican boy that's even more gay a load on your back. What the fuck? I would imagine if you're an incumbent Republican,
there are going to be people, he says, asking you,
will you support Senator McConnell in the future?
That's a question that will be asked, no doubt.
It's a sick question.
You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it.
Exactly.
You don't have to.
We know the answer to that.
Graham then pivoted
to talk about the trail itself.
The trail itself?
Come on, it says trail.
Graham then pivoted
to talk about the trial itself.
He said,
I think,
he's talking about McConnell's speech,
is an outlier
regarding how Republicans feel
about all this.
I felt the impeachment trial
was not only unconstitutional.
I condemn what happened on January 6th,
but the process they used to impeach this president
was an affront to the rule of law.
He's the first president to ever be impeached
without a lawyer, without a witness,
without the ability to confront those against him.
And the trial record was a complete
joke. Hearsay upon fucking hearsay. What do you mean without a lawyer? What the fuck was Vanderveen?
I don't get that. But he said, and he loves this, we've opened Pandora's box, I have one at home,
to future presidents, and if we use this model, I don't know how Kamala Harris doesn't get impeached
if the Republicans take back the house because she actually bailed out rioters. And one of the
rioters went back to the streets in Minneapolis and broke somebody's head open. It's a good point
by him right there. I'll tell you that goddamn much, right? A, she was a hooah. B, she was a
hooah. Oh, come on, Lindsay. That's not necessary.
So we've opened Pandora's box here, and I'm sad for the country, he said.
And then he slipped on his leggings and worked out to Jane Fonda tapes.
What?
Who in Christ in?
I can't make up my mind with him.
Boy, huh? Trump sitting in Mar-a-Lago laughing. I saw, I should have put it out. I should have given it to you. There was a picture, somebody, a meme or something. It says,
when I, what it says, when I don't, what does he say? I don't get impeached that often, but when I
do, I don't. Something like that.
Something like that.
And he's right, and he should be furious.
We all know the election was still,
could you sit home knowing that?
Huh?
That's not like losing out to somebody for a dishwashing job at a restaurant.
This motherfucker was the most powerful guy
on the free planet, on the free world,
and now he's sitting home.
But he will rise again, in my opinion.
Got some good news, by the way.
Speaking of the election that was stolen,
the Supreme Court of the United States, that's SCOTUS,
is said to hear a number of high-profile election fraud cases.
Apparently some judge agreed to.
You see how it works? Wait till Biden's in.
I wouldn't get my hopes up for this either, but the SCOTUS is now scheduled to consider the voter
fraud cases for Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Georgia. And they're going to do that on February 19th.
That's this week, isn't it? Justices will hear the cases that have led widespread fraud in the
2020 presidential election.
So maybe we'll get to the bottom of what really happened.
Are you interested in the real story?
I am, bitch.
Among those to be heard are Republican Reps Mike Kelly, Pennsylvania election case.
Pro-Trump lawyer Sidney Powell's Michigan election case.
And get this, Attorney Lynn Wood's Georgia election case.
Interesting, huh?
You think they're just going to go through the motions or?
Here's my, I said this, right?
I've been saying it since the election was over.
The year will go on, drip, drip, drip.
Stuff will come out, come out.
But to the point where, if you don't, we already know it was stolen.
Really?
Vans pulling up at six in the morning at a polling center, drop it off 128,000 votes.
That's not enough for you.
Shut the fuck up.
The cases include challenges to the 2020 election results.
Nearly every lawsuit takes issue with the expanded use of mail-in ballots by many states,
according to the Washington Examiner. The decision came
after the court declined to fast-track all election-related litigation in early January.
Yeah, why'd you do that? Why did you do that, Karen? Why? Those are the only cases we had.
They were all over the house, Henry. They were going to find it. They would have never found it.
house, Henry. They were going to fight. They would have never found it.
Trump lawyer John Eastman told the Washington Examiner that even with Trump out of office,
and this is a salient point, it was important to settle the issues raised by the expanded mail-in voting, which is true, because if you don't fix that, the Republicans will never win. Even if they
fix it, I'm not sure we're going to ever win.
And I keep asking myself this.
If there wasn't a revolution after that election was stolen in broad daylight, when do you get off your ass?
I'm busy.
I got to cut my lawn and shove it.
You guys get the fuck out there.
Our legal issue, he said, referring to the way in which Pennsylvania conducted the 2020 election remains important and in need of
the court's review. Similarly, Kelly's lawyer, Greg Tufel, warned that the 10-year congressman
and major Trump ally had no intention of dropping the lawsuit. As election litigation continues to
play out in the courts, many Republicans' state legislatures have begun introducing bills to curb mail-in
voting. They're going to do it through the law. That won't take too fucking long, will it? But
at least they're fighting. Should have thought of that a year ago, fellas. Speaking about her case
recently, my girl Sidney Powell shared her thoughts on the 2020 election during Joe Biden's inauguration on Skyline News.
She said, and I quote, he, Trump, had about 80 million votes and Biden had much less than that,
aside from the fact that the hundreds of thousands of Biden votes were fraudulent from the get-go.
You know, she's not bullshitting. I believe that she's. I believe she will be vindicated.
There were hundreds of thousands of fraudulent ballots, she said, added.
There were flip voters and algorithms run in the various machines
and not just the ones from Dominion.
So anyhow, let's say they keep digging and digging
and they lay it all out there.
You really think they're
gonna go uh uh uh sorry joe you gotta step down or kamala it'll probably be kamala by the time we
get to the bottom of it you can imagine if we did that you think to be any burning and rioting and
looting which again is peaceful protesting if you're a person of color doing it and a white rich liberal kid from fucking oregon hey hey so that was sort of a
kind of positive uh event over the weekend
i don't know here's some more kind of good news parlor that a lot of you I'm sure were on. I believe I'm on it. I had a nice following, somebody told me.
My people told me.
I write shit and I send it.
Because, see, I'm not adult enough to be on there myself.
Or Twitter.
I told you, I'll be at a bar, get a couple drinks with me,
and just fucking call Jack Dorsey a cum-guzzling faggot.
And then my manager's like,
oh, ding, ding, ding, ding, get out of there.
And then they change the passwords on me and shit.
But then I figure them out.
So I do talk to people now and then.
But anyways, Parler relaunches.
Parler, the social media app known for free speech, announced on Monday it was back online.
This comes weeks after the US tech giants colluded to take the social media platform down
for not silencing conservative voices.
These fucking people.
That's your world.
I just live in it.
Parler moved to a new computer server farm.
Ooh, a farm.
And the 20 million users on the platform when Amazon Web Service shut off the social media
platform on January 11th can begin using their old app and log in as of today. Interim CEO Mark
Meckler told Just the News. Some existing users were already live this morning, and the rest
should have access by midday after the new servers propagated across
the internet. New users should be able to sign up for the service within a week or so, Meckler said.
So do that, folks. Even though, again, I give you my theory on this. If it's free speech,
this is so silly to me. If it's a free platform, you can say anything you want. Well,
okay, all the douchebags from Twitter are going to visit,
and you're going to get the same thing.
Or I'm missing something.
They're not going to block you, right, because they have free speech.
I don't understand.
I've never thought anybody outside the big tech industry.
What are you thinking again?
I'm too sentimental with my children.
As you can see, they talk when they should be listening.
Anyways, I wish you success with your business.
Parler is being run by an experienced team and is here to stay, said the new feller.
I'm staying right here.
We will thrive as the premier social media platform dedicated to free speech, privacy, and civil dialogue.
Boring.
Parler was first launched in August of 2018 and was taken offline by AWS on January 10th.
They're always picking on us, huh?
Is it because we're black?
No, absolutely not.
Parler relaunched on February
15th, 2021. Isn't that today? Parler's new platform is built on robust, sustainable,
independent technology like we have at thecomicsgym.com.
let's get to biden since we're looking over here hey look at the trial trump acquitted these republicans stabbed him in the back he lied about that
and over here joe biden's administration to release 25 000000, it says migrants, I probably mean, what happened to
immigrants? Is that offensive too? Into America. President Joe Biden's Department of Homeland
Security, that's DHS, is planning to release about 25,600 migrants who have been in Mexico
into American communities in Texas, California. Breitbart News has learned.
That's good news, huh?
Jesus.
Let's watch the crime wave go up.
This is just the beginning.
They're overplaying their hand.
I'm telling you.
But again, if those voting machines aren't fixed, I'm telling you, folks, they're going to throw so much shit up there that the American people disagree with.
And soon as a couple of Democrats kids get raped or shot by or killed in a DUI by an illegal, then they might, you know.
But see, their kids and the Democrats who do this shit, they live in gated white communities.
and the Democrats who do this shit,
they live in gated white communities.
And they just go, hey, the people we despise,
you know, the middle of the country, hardworking people,
they'll have to deal with these grease balls.
When I say grease balls, I say that respectively as my grandparents came over from Italy,
very greasy people.
Made pizza last night.
Oh, God.
After Biden ended the uh remain in mexico policy which was working beautifully by the way which drastically reduced asylum fraud by keeping migrants in mexico
while they await their asylum hearings in the united states dhs announced that it would begin
processing the 25 600 migrants in the program on February 19th.
Ultimately, the new migrants will enter the U.S. interior.
You know, with nobody laying a hand on them.
Ay, ay, ay, ay.
I am the Frito Bunchito.
I like Frito's corn chips. I like them like you. I want Frito's corn chips. I like them right too.
I want Fritos corn chips.
I'll get them from you.
This is a racist song.
I love it so much I do.
That was a commercial when I was a kid.
A little fucking Mexican mustache.
Oh, dirty, dirty.
Internal communications at Bright Bright News has revealed that DHS plans to release the migrants in San Diego.
Can you imagine if you live in these neighborhoods?
California, El Paso, Texas and Brownsville, Texas locations.
The Biden administration refused to divulge the exact locations when asked. Of course
they did. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. Currently, DHS, that stands
for Danvers High School, where I went, is releasing thousands of border crossers into the United
States. Get this, folks.
Buckle up.
Put on your faggy fucking mask.
Keep playing the game without requiring that they undergo coronavirus tests.
And again, it's such a farce.
I was watching American Idol last night.
And it's hilarious.
Like, one of these singers gets done she's crying it's a sad song
lino richie gets up and says oh one of the fucking the other guy luke wants to give the person a hug
but the person's like with that camera so they're like six feet away he fakes a hug and then two
seconds later katie perry is like dancing with some guy like right next to each other jumping
around and oh and a girl is crying at the piano.
It's all about crying.
It's so, it's such, it speaks of our country and how soft we are.
We're fucked.
Lionel Richie gives the girl a hanky out of his pocket.
Yeah, that's COVID proof.
Have some boogers from the Commodores.
But we have to keep our distance.
But here's my snot rag.
She's touching her eyes with it
and I'm belly laughing.
You know why?
Because it's fake.
Anyways, they're going to get
into the U.S. without requiring
that they undergo coronavirus tests.
White House Press Secretary
Jen, the little red beaver,
seemingly confirmed that DHS is releasing border crosses without the test requirements.
They even admit it.
Son of a whore!
After remaining Mexico migrants are released, DHS does not have any plans to track them.
You know, under Trump, he fixed that.
Remember, Obama had it.
You're supposed to get your paper.
You're supposed to come back in a year for a court hearing, and they just disappear.
Well, Trump fixed that.
Now we're undoing it.
What more do you need to know?
The reset button has been pushed.
So they don't have any plans, DHS, to track these people.
Instead, these migrants will be mixed in with all other border crossers
and illegal aliens who have been released into the United States interior
while awaiting asylum immigration hearings.
What the fuck?
What are we doing?
Yeah, what are you doing?
What's going on right now?
There he is.
Drop that load in his mouth, you stupid old man.
Fuck face.
What a brilliant move
can I just say this about the Democrats
what a brilliant move to fix it
so this shithead got in there
just a puppet
as Breitbart News reported last week
the Biden administration has surged
the release of border crosses
into the United States interior since
restarting the catch and release program in the United States interior since restarting the catch
and release program.
In the first 10 days of February, DHS released at least 2,000 border crosses into the country.
For comparison, in December of last year, before remaining Mexico was ended, DHS had
released how many folks?
11.
11.
That's a 50% jump in my head.
Do they do anything honestly, huh?
Why do they hate the country so fucking much, huh?
Oh my God.
We need somebody really.
Let's dig up Strom Thurmond.
I want somebody so far right.
Is George Wallace there?
I want that motherfucker on the ticket.
Nick, how dare you?
Here's another crooked prick face who gets away with literally with murder.
This guy's responsible for fucking more old people dying than those stairlift things crashing.
Than those stair lift things crashing.
I can never think of the fucking.
Responsible for more dead people than the fucking alert bracelet they push after they do three cartwheels down a cellistere.
Cuomo, Andrew, the governor of New York.
Talk about a pompous ass. You know what?
Over the weekend, one of his aides, this woman, Melissa DeRosa, spilled the beans on how they
hid data as far as how many people are dying in the nursing home.
A top aide to New York Governor Andrew Cuomo told the leading state Democrat lawmakers
that the administration had withheld data on COVID-19 deaths at nursing homes
to avoid federal scrutiny,
according to a bombshell report.
So he's got to be sweating
or he doesn't give a fuck.
The revelation prompted condemnation
and even talk of impeachment in Albany,
the state's capital.
And both Democrat and Republicans, but of in Albany, the state's capital, and both Democrat
and Republicans. But of course, the one Democrat that's pissed is because one of his relatives
died of COVID. So that's what you got to do for them to cross the aisle. Anyways, this guy,
Rep. Lee Zeldin, Republican, New York, wants the Department of Justice to open an obstruction of
justice investigation. The families of thousands,
this is what he said, quote, families of thousands of dead New York seniors deserve accountability and justice for the true consequences of Governor Cuomo's fatally
flawed nursing home policy and the continued attempts to cover it up. It's clear what's
happening here is criminal, he said. You are correct, sir.
That's what a Republican looks like in New York.
That guy, he's 22 years old.
The New York Post first reported that Melissa DeRosa, secretary to the governor,
told leading Empire State Democrats that the administration feared the data could be used against us by the
Justice Department during a video conference call. On Friday, somebody got to her, obviously.
On Friday, DeRosa addressed the call and the governor's office released a transcript
and timeline explaining that officials were worried that the Trump administration would
politicize the situation to attack Democratic. You guys can't even lie good.
Yeah, it was Trump politicizing it.
You were the one sitting there going, what am I going to do with 400 masks?
Remember when it first started?
We said they built the ship.
They sent it to New York.
You never used it.
And then you try to blame Trump.
You're a fucking cheese
eater. I wonder what's going to happen to her. We're going to read about her in about two weeks.
Melissa DeRosa's head was found in Staten Island. Her feet were found on the A train
and her tits in the Bronx behind Arturo's restaurant. I always explain, she said,
I was explaining, she said, that when we received the DOJ inquiry, we needed to temporarily set aside the legislature's request about share the same goal of keeping New Yorkers as healthy as possible during the pandemic.
So somebody got to her and said, go clean that mess up.
Will you shut up?
Will you?
Will you please shut up?
You know that.
No, what you were interesting at, Cuomo administration, is money from the federal government.
you were interesting at a Cuomo administration is money from the federal government. After you guys ran that state and city into the fucking ground, you wanted all the assistant COVID
assistance. And we pay for that. How about other cities that had nothing to do with it? That's all
our money. You Weasley motherless tip wonder. News of the call sparked outrage among state republicans and other critics
of cuomo's uh conduct already incensed over his march 25th directive that ordered thousands of
virus infected seniors back into assisted living facilities nursing homes and other long-term care
locations imagine that he's like but governor this one's good she's throwing up blood and shit
she's got fortune cookies all over her put her back in there between oaks where she belonged
the second most powerful person in state government and top aide to governor cuomo admitted on video
to the premeditated and willful violation of state laws in what clearly amounts to
federal obstruction of justice, said state GOP chairman Nick Langworthy. Andrew Cuomo has abused
his power, this guy said, and destroyed the trust placed in the office of governor. Prosecution and
impeachment discussions must begin right away. Oh, I'm sure. And what Cuomo said. I'm smart.
I'm like everybody says.
Like, don't.
I'm smart.
And I want the sticks.
That's the way Pop wanted it.
Not the way I wanted it.
Like, I'm dumb.
I'm smart.
Like everybody says!
There was
something in it for me, Chris.
They said there was something
in it for me.
This is Andrew talking to Chris Cuomo.
Chris,
you're nothing to me now. You're not a brother.
You're not a news anchor.
You're not a candlestick maker.
You're not a hockey player.
You're not a carpenter. When you come a candlestick maker. You're not a hockey player. You're not a carpenter.
When you come up to Gracie Manson, I want to know 24 hours in advance.
Mikey.
Hey, I want to thank you contributors to the show because you keep us up and going.
You know that.
It's not like I'm getting paid a salary by a big company.
One-time contributions since
last week, Thomas Olhowski, Virginia, Philip Weissing, Germany, Weissing, Philip Weissing,
Michael Mistelsky, Massachusetts, Edward Midgley, these are some new names, Rhode Island, Stugnats,
Island, Stugnauts, Rhode Island, Warren Dibvig, Canada, Spencer Pollitt of Polay, Alabama,
Derek A. Scarzella, Maryland, Bill Shaw, Texas, Nicholas Roberts, Indiana. And then we had people sign up at, you know, the monthly, whether it's Patreon or thecomicsgym.com, Eric Berry,
it's patreon and thecomicsgym.com eric berry brendan riss massachusetts scott starciak massachusetts michael davey australia martin scanion missouri scott winskey ohio william
boyette indiana all signed up at the monthly level which means you get an extra story every day. You get to ask me a question and whatever else.
Dance shoes.
What are we giving away?
Excuse me.
Pardon me, folks.
Excuse me.
Pizza.
Here's a little more to the Cuomo story.
Freedom of information data, that's for you, wednesday revealed that the nursing home death
toll was far higher than previously reported this guy's just a lying piece
numbers just emerged two weeks after the state's attorney general found out that numbers released
before the end of january were also underreported It seems every decision coming out of the governor's office
is about Team Cuomo protecting its own image and own interests. State Assembly William Barkley,
the chamber's Republican leader, told Fox News Thursday more than, listen to this, 15,000 seniors
died in adult care facilities, but the governor was clearly more worried about the Department of Justice
investigation and political finger pointing. Of course he is. He's a jerk off.
Oh, fucking idiot. In response to a separate freedom of information request this week,
state health officials told the Associated Press that more than 9,000 virus patients had been sent into nursing homes in the state
before Cuomo reversed the directive on May 10th.
And he wrote a book about how well he handled it in the middle of a pandemic.
We're not even done with this.
He won a fucking Emmy.
How do you win an Emmy?
I wrote for Chris Rock, for Christ's sake.
I was nominated twice.
This guy killed fucking 9,000 old people.
He's got an Emmy on his shelf.
Every time he looks at it,
he sees old people's skeletons.
He doesn't look good there.
He's very green.
That's what happens to us at times in the winter.
We turn lime green.
This administration intentionally withheld information
from the public, from the press, from lawmakers,
and from thousands of families who lost loved ones, Barkley said.
This is why closed-door conversations won't cut it.
If this doesn't make it plainly obvious that we need to issue subpoenas and hold public hearings, I don't know what will.
Cuomo.
Let's lighten it up a bit, huh?
Anyways, Lombardi Trophy
silversmith wants
apology.
Lorraine Groves,
the daughter of silversmith Greg
Groves, who crafted, look at her.
Jesus Christ, didn't she win
best in show at the fucking
kennel thing at Madison Square?
Nice haircut, Afghan slash poodle.
Jesus, huh?
Every ugly woman just has to bitch about something.
She's the daughter of Greg Rose, who created the original Lombardi trophy.
She wants an apology from Tom Brady.
You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt.
Why?
For him tossing this year's version
as if it was a real football
to tight end Cameron Brate.
I thought they said it was Gronk who got it
during the team's championship boat parade last week.
You remember this video.
We showed it again.
It's a beautiful pass, by the way.
Tommy's fucked up here
imagine if that hit somebody wasn't paying attention that would have been hilarious like i don Like, I don't know, 10-year-old girls eating a muffin,
and it just knocked Ron Conrad Brady.
Anyways, Buccaneers general manager Jason Licht
responded to a tweet that includes the video of Gro's story
from Cape Coral, Florida's Fox 4,
with a gif of Warren Oates as Sergeant Hulka.
You remember the movie Stripes?
He tells his broad to lighten up.
Touch me and I'll kill you.
Looks like me in high school.
Lighten up, Francis.
Lighten up, Miss Crow.
You stupid.
Can do whatever he want with it.
You should stick it up your beautiful hairdo.
The tossing around of Lombardi trophy by the 43-year-old Brady
seen in a video that went viral on Wednesday
wasn't a laughing matter to Grow, who's a humorless bitch
who lives in Fort Myers, Florida.
Her father was a master silversmith from 1967 to 1994 at Tiffany & Company,
which they were tasked with making the trophy.
And it's a beautiful trophy.
A lot of hard, this is her talking,
a lot of hard work, a lot of hours go into it,
she told Fox.
It's just really upset me that this trophy
was disgraced and disrespected by being thrown
as if it was a real football,
she said. Oh, boy, you. I didn't sleep for the past two nights.
It was your hairdo keeping you up, you fucking hog. Because of this, I was that upset because
I know the passion that goes into this trophy. How about the passion that goes into this turf how about the passion
that goes into winning one you dumb woman you and how my dad and all his fellow silversmiths are so
proud to make this i'd personally like an apology not just to me and my family and the other
silversmiths but to the fans they sounded like they liked it. You want an apology from Brady?
Who the fuck are you? Are you writing a book? Who the fuck are you?
Yeah.
Motherless.
That is it, ladies and gentlemen.
For Monday,
already in the books, kind of creepy.
I want to thank you guys again.
We appreciate it.
Don't forget Cameo.com i have
three waiting for me if you want me to make a little mini video on my phone right go to
cameo.com clip on my profile and uh i will roast 20 of friends or somebody you don't like or it
can be very nice we can say uh happy uh happy marriage to the lesbian couple upstairs. Anything that you want, I'll do.
I need the cash, okay? All right. Anything else, Jace? The Comics Gym. Very good. Thecomicsgym.com.
Thecomicsgym.com. That's the new home of the show. Again, we'll use YouTube to promote it,
that's the new home of the show.
Again, we'll use YouTube to promote it,
but, you know,
we use them like the dirty pigs that they are.
You guys think it,
I'll say you're very welcome, kids.
We'll see you back here tomorrow.
Have a good day. guitar solo I'm out.