The Nick DiPaolo Show - Insurrection My A$$! | Nick Di Paolo Show #649

Episode Date: January 6, 2022

Biden distracts with speech. Marathon bomber busted. K9s and "The sick making stuff that shall not be named. Car thief busted with severed head. Jewelry store owner stops smash and grab. Prisoner esca...pe.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, if you're not a paid subscriber to the show, please take a moment and subscribe now. Starting today, we are introducing the Nick DiPaolo Show phone line, where you can call up and leave a message for me to play and respond to on the show. This number is only available to subscribers. You'll also get access to the daily Encore episode, which nobody else gets, and hundreds of show archives. Plus, you'll get a discount on merch and free merch, depending on what level you subscribe at.
Starting point is 00:00:30 You can do all this at thecomicsgym.com and click on an Encore episode or patreon.com slash thenickdapaloshow. Thanks for supporting, and I can't wait to hear what some of you guys and gals have to say. Talk to you soon. Oh yeah! Welcome to the final day of the week, the Nick DiPaolo Show. How are you folks? Glad you could join us. Good to be here. Hey, real quickly, let me get this off my chest.
Starting point is 00:01:35 My wife's reading a lot of comments, you know, about this. And there's a lot of my fans saying that I'm juicing. If you mean this, maybe with a little brandy, yeah. I don't juice. I'm juicing. If you mean this, maybe, with a little brandy, yeah. I don't juice. I have testosterone therapy. That's not like doing anabolic steroids, okay? I lifted weights my whole life. I was an athlete.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Sorry, I have a physique. And if I work out and wear a T-shirt, I guess it looks different or whatever. I don't know what you guys have been used to seeing the last 10 years on the internet shit I know they take pictures yeah even when you're not even famous they catch you bloated and shit they'll put it but I don't juice look I play football in college 30 years ago with guys who did juice and I mean heavy and I'd say two to three years after we graduated, about three of them had kidney and liver problems. So I never, even when I played, I didn't do it.
Starting point is 00:02:32 So let's get that off. Testosterone therapy is different than, you know. When I was up at Maine, these linemen would stick a needle in each other's asses in the shower. You know, they're risking their kidneys for University of Maine Black Bear football. It's not fucking Georgia, Alabama. So let's get that out of the way. Yeah, I work out, and my body responds better now that my testosterone levels are up. But I'm not going to have fucking 30-inch guns yet, unless, you know, I run into it a little dirty, you know, 18-year-old male hooker.
Starting point is 00:03:16 All right, so that's that. All right, let's get on with the show, shall we? In the N-word segment today, it's a big day for the Democrats, Joe Biden, the media, all those criminals that pretend to be a real political party. It's the commemoration of January 6th, the most horrible day in America, according to them. They compare it to 9-11, where 3,000 Americans died. They've compared it to the Civil War, Pearl Harbor, Gettysburg, name it. Do you understand how insane that is? One person died from violence.
Starting point is 00:03:51 It was a female white Air Force veteran, Ashley Babbitt, shot by a black cop. She was unarmed, and the media never mentioned it after that week, not once. So don't fall for this shit. This is a distraction. This is them going, hey, look over here, because Biden is imploding. That's all this is. Don't believe any of it, okay? And that goes to you, Liz Cheney.
Starting point is 00:04:16 And that's all I have to say. That's the N-word. Well, we're waiting. All right, all right. Don't get pushy. What do we got? Let's stick with numbnuts. Joe Biden.
Starting point is 00:04:36 More Biden bullshit. President Biden, as I just mentioned, plans on a blistering critique of Donald Trump as he marks the one year. Can you imagine the balls on this guy as he marks the one year anniversary of January 6th riot at the U.S. Capitol with a speech that will warn of the dangers of misinformation and subverting democracy? As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. And now I am one, according to Joe Biden.
Starting point is 00:05:06 You motherfucker. Can you imagine the nerve? First, just them saying democracy makes me laugh. They're pissing all over the Constitution. They want to change the Supreme Court. They want to pack it, get rid of the filibuster. Are you shitting me? You have to have papers now when you go to a restaurant or get on an airplane or whatever they plan on shutting unvaccinated people out of society
Starting point is 00:05:29 and you call that first of all it's not the democracy a representative republic is what we are but really we're the ones trump was the one subverting subverting uh democracy you have to be shitting me you people and again i'm, I know I'm preaching to the choir. Nobody fucking that votes different than me is watching this right now, but eventually they will. You are a cancer. You, the fucking media is the biggest cancer, and you're a, you're part of that cancer, a piece of the tumor that metastasized.
Starting point is 00:06:01 And fucking saying for them to be saying Trump supporters subverting democracy. That is fucking laughable. Riots, burning, looting, summer 2020. They don't even mention that. They talk about January 6th. A couple of reporters were there. Some of them are going to, they have post-traumatic stress disorder, they say. Are you shitting me? They didn't say anything about that when the fucking cities were burning, lefty cities, but all over the country. That's not subverting democracy, rule by mob rule. When you don't like a verdict or whatever, you burn shit down. And people died, by the way. verdict or whatever. You burn shit down. And people died, by the way. Hundreds of people died during the fucking riots of 2020. But that's, you know, how about when they burnt the church
Starting point is 00:06:52 next to the fucking White House? Nobody mentioned an insurrection there. It wasn't an insurrection. It was a fucking tiny riot, by the way, which was spurred on by narcs hitting FBI guys. This guy, Ray Epps, remember the guy we showed with the red MAGA hat going, we have to go in. We got to go in today. There's footage of him everywhere. Guess what? He didn't get indicted.
Starting point is 00:07:19 Are you going to ask about that, Ted Cruz, you fuck, who also called it a terrorist attack yesterday? You just lost me, Ted. Ay yi yi. So don't wait for the Republicans, but don't buy any of this shit. It is insane. They are the ones for violence. The fucking media helps push that message out.
Starting point is 00:07:40 He's trying to kick off a civil war. And I'm so tired of, he creeps me out. Every time I see him now, you gotta get vaxxed. That doesn't make your hair stand on end. How he's begging for you to get vaxxed. There's not something weird about that. What are you fucking people? They, they stole an election using COVID.
Starting point is 00:07:58 You don't think they try to divide you with January 6th. So what about that guy? Epps, Ray Epps? Why aren't we checking into that? Oh my god. It's fucking frightening. AOC. I was there that day. I still have bad dreams.
Starting point is 00:08:15 You know what that says? You guys aren't meant for this world. You really aren't. I guarantee not one of those sheltered assholes has ever even been in a fucking fist fight. I swear to God, that's their mentality. It was horrible. I keep watching the footage, and it looks fake to me.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Even the rough stuff looks fake to me. It really does. I'm not fucking, I swear to God, false flag rings a bell. Even the pushing and shoving, if that's as rough as people on the right can get, we are fucked. Seriously, I didn't see one haymaker or somebody really... Show clips of Australia
Starting point is 00:08:54 when they're protesting in the streets against vaccine mandates. That clip we show you, that one guy knocking over six cops, body slamming them. I didn't see any of that shit. I saw a big, fat, black, female security at the White House telling people to go this way. There's plenty of that footage, honestly.
Starting point is 00:09:13 And Garland yesterday, we're going to come after you. Fucking I dare you, motherfucker. You guys, you don't know what an insurrection is. I'll say it again. Fucking white supremacy, I guess it doesn't exist. But when it did, and if you tip it off, because it is somewhere, if you tip that off, it'll make those riots last summer or 2020 look like a fucking tea party. Not the violent tea party. I'm talking about a tea party with little girls. Because they
Starting point is 00:09:45 won't just burn stores. They'll blow up city blocks. Like I said, I know cops who went to these meetings. I know what they have for weapons. You're fucking, you have no idea. It infuriates me that he's sitting there going, oh, this is what Trump did.
Starting point is 00:10:03 This is subverting democracy. You guys are censoring us on every platform, working hand in hand with big tech to shut everybody down that doesn't think like you. Fuck you. I can't wait till the fucking thing kicks off. I'm sick of watching football. I'm diddling myself. I don't want to get shot either. Let me give you that. But I get Dallas here. This guy did two tours. Okay, I'll be right behind him. Don't buy a... I don't have to tell you guys.
Starting point is 00:10:38 You know. But he looks at us as gangsters. The president on Thursday morning will also call on lawmakers to pass voting rights. Oh, here's some more I forgot. Voting rights legislation intended to rebut changes sought by Trump loyalists in state governments across the, yeah, changes by the Trump loyalists who want everybody to vote, excuse me, only they have to prove who they are. Boy, that's subverting democracy. I can't say that again.
Starting point is 00:11:09 Can you imagine? To them, that's considered, you know, oppressing people, keeping them from voting, to prove who the fuck you are. Meanwhile, Pelosi and the left literally want to open up to ex-convicts who should be able to vote. Remember she said 18, 15-year-old boys and girls? Remember they were trying to open up to convicts should be able to vote. Remember she said 18, 15 year old girl, boys and girls. Remember they were trying to open it up. They want to open
Starting point is 00:11:30 it up to everybody. They already have illegals voting in municipal, you know, city elections and shit. So who's going around the Constitution? Shut the fuck up. I'm really wound up. I'm on the rag. I'm on the rag. I'm having a heavy dick.
Starting point is 00:11:49 Anyways, it would limit access to absentee voting and strengthening ID requirements. If you guys don't believe the last election was stolen, you're fucking mentally retarded. There's people on the left who believe it. They just keep their mouth shut because you'll kick them out of the party. He says, jerk off, Biden says, and by the way, it's not even him, okay? This is AOC, I don't know who, AOC, the squad, even VP Harris. This is their left-wing radical part of the party putting words in shithead's mouth. By the way, he said it was 2020 a couple days ago. Are we going to be a nation that accepts political violence as a norm? Well, yeah, you did after the George Floyd thing.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Yes, sir. Are we going to be a nation where we allow partisan election officials to overturn the legally expressed will of the people? Oh, is that what the last election was? Are you fucking dog-styling me? Turn over the will of the people? Biden, you didn't win. Trump smoked you, and everybody fucking knows it, that has an ounce of sanity.
Starting point is 00:13:01 You guys just pissed on the will of the people. Boy, am I dying in this sweater. What the fuck 50 out it's 150 can you imagine him saying that this guy was a benefit of a stolen election biden will say uh in his speech according to excerpts provided by the white house we cannot allow ourselves to be that kind of nation. What a kind of nation that had the strongest economy on the planet, the strongest military. People respected us all around the world, as always when a Republican gets out of office. We can't have that kind. We could have a kind where I can blow people in the Ukraine, get people fired, me and my son can make millions from China. Shit like that. And aides say
Starting point is 00:13:46 he will recount the horror he experienced watching lawmakers and staff flee for their safety. Where's all this footage? As rioters breached the Capitol where he served for 36 years and did nothing. I think it woke him up, though. That's why he's pissed. He was taking a nice nap when the ship broke up. It hit him personally, said Press Secretary freckle-faced female Conan O'Brien Jen Psaki.
Starting point is 00:14:15 It hit him personally. Oh, for you. I like to hit him personally. I like to dent your cream as cock. What? The speech is a part of a day of commemoration. Where's the commemoration for the people that died in the riots? Because the cops rough-handled, man-handled a guy who did black porn, held a gun to a pregnant woman's stomach, and now has a statue of him. Featuring remarks
Starting point is 00:14:47 by House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, who's on her way out, along with other Democrats in discussions about democracy. I can't wait to get home and see the clips. Biden's address from the Capitol's statuary hall, I wonder how he got there, swarmed a year ago by Trump supporters, really, out there, swarmed a year ago by Trump supporters, really, and FBI, undercover FBI people doing entrapment to block certification of his election is a rhetorical opportunity, oh, to reorient his presidency away from the resurgent coronavirus fighting within his party, and now you're getting to it, and persistent inflation. Thank you for getting to what it's really about, about 11 paragraphs in. Biden, who has seldom mentioned his predecessor by name since taking office, intends to focus on bigger themes, such as the battle for the soul of of the nation.
Starting point is 00:15:45 Is Marxism the soul of the nation? Is that why people are coming from all over the world to sneak in here? So they can be treated the way they were by the government that they just left? How do they look at their camera with a straight face? The soul of the nation that he described on the campaign trail. Yeah, he was terrific. It's just so ridiculous. I don't even
Starting point is 00:16:12 remember on the campaign trail. Wasn't he in his basement, chained to the boiler, looking at old playboys? I mean, playgirls. Anyways, don't buy a fucking ounce of it. And by the way, it's about, you're going to watch, you know what you're going to see today?
Starting point is 00:16:29 You're going to see reporters interviewing reporters that were supposedly there. They're interviewing their friends. They're talking like, you know, Diane, well, she's not even around. Andrea Mitchell. Andrea Mitchell probably has, you know, post-traumatic stress disorder and she's all drunk now and shitting herself on a park bench
Starting point is 00:16:50 and shooting heroin between her toes. Park mark face bitch. Convicted, let's move on to some more real terrorism. I can't believe Ted Cruz fucking said that. See, that's why you can't trust the Republicans. I would vote in a thousand Marjorie Taylor Greene's tomorrow. Convicted Boston marathon bomber,
Starting point is 00:17:16 Dzhokhar Tanarzev, has been ordered. Remember, he was on the cover of Rolling Stone, by the way. It's a good magazine. Is that the only picture they have of this cocksucker? Ordered by prosecutors to return $1,400 in COVID relief. Oh, boy, I bet you he's sweating about that while he's doing a life sentence. Relief payment he received last summer.
Starting point is 00:17:41 The government's sending him, and that wasn't an accident, in my opinion, along with other money sent to him, according to court filing on Wednesday. The money should instead be used as restitution to his victims, the filing said. Give me the money, understand me? Give me the fucking money, you hear me? You hear me? I gotta come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money. Sarnov has $3,885.06 in his inmate trust account. That's more than I have in my checking account. With the money received from the government.
Starting point is 00:18:15 Guarantee all the libs love it. The Office of Federal Defenders of New York and from private citizens. Private citizens are sending him money. Might want to look them up and what their politics are. He spent several thousands on his siblings for gifts, support in books. I wonder what kind of books he's sending to his siblings. How to make a pipe bomb. Pipe bomb for idiots.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Books, but has barely paid any of the more than $101 million owed to the victims or the $3,000 special assessment as part of his sentencing the court filings. Well, how's he going to pay back $101? That's a lot of fucking blowjobs and cigarettes in prison. Who's going to pay that back? Isn't that just silly? The inmate who was sentenced to death two years after the 2013 Boston Marathon bombing, which left three people dead and hundreds hurt, has been only paid only $2,202 in restitution so far. You're a crumb creep.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Oh, is he ever. The death sentence, remember he ran over his brother laying in the street? That was so fucking cool. I watched that like a fucking touchdown. I kept rewinding it. Oh!
Starting point is 00:19:36 The death sentence was overturned in 2020 after a court ruled that a trial judge erred by excluding some evidence. Oh, God. Thank God. I think, and again, you know my point of view on death. Oh, God. Thank God. I think, and again, you know my point of view on death. I'm against the death penalty, not because I think it's cruel and unusual, because
Starting point is 00:19:51 I would say it's way worse to be that young. You're going to spend the next 70 years in prison unless you get shanked by some Irishman. An appeal to reinstate his death sentence is currently before the U.S. Supreme Court. I'm sure they U.S. Supreme Court. I'm sure they'll hear ye, hear ye.
Starting point is 00:20:10 The court's in session. The court's in session. Now, here come the judge. Here come the judge. There goes the terrorist. Batch. Guarantee he'll just get life in prison. We don't have the balls in this country anymore because chicks run it.
Starting point is 00:20:29 My fans know I am a big tobacco guy. I like my cigarettes. When I was at the University of Maine, I did chew. I love the bags. I pretend that I was the third base coach for the Baltimore Orioles in the 70s. I would pack that shit in, and so would girls up in Maine, give you an idea how cute they were. Anyways, you guys know I'm a big fan of tobacco, so when
Starting point is 00:20:47 Black Buffalo reached out to me, I had to give them a try. They have, look at, a little dip, huh? I used to do Kodiak, but that would make me throw up if I swallowed a drip of it. This is good stuff. You know, if you're tired of
Starting point is 00:21:03 hmm, hmm, hmm... When Black Buffalo found this one tobacco alternative, they looked high and low, but nothing delivered the same satisfaction or high quality they were looking for. So they decided to make their own right here in the U.S. of A. Black Buffalo is everything you love
Starting point is 00:21:19 about dipping, including pharmaceutical-grade nicotine, but with no tobacco, leaf, or stem. It's dipped with the same flavors, texture, aroma, pack, and nicotine as traditional tobacco products, but made from edible green leaves and food-grade ingredients. So if you swallow it, burp like you just had pizza. No compromise required, and the flavors are great. like you just had pizza. No compromise required. And the flavors are great. Wintergreen, mint,
Starting point is 00:21:53 straight, peach, even blood orange. It's available in both long cut pouches as well as nicotine-free versions called Zero. They were 2021's Best New Product winner at the CSP Awards and C-Store Decisions Hot New Products Award winner for 2021. If you're 21 or over and you dip or chew tobacco, you have to try this alternative. It's a new year. If you're one of the 10 million people who are 21 plus and dip tobacco, consider turning over a new leaf and switching to Black Buffalo. It's everything you love about dipping just without the actual tobacco leaf or stem. Head to blackbuffalo.com. Use promo code NickDip, that's NickDip, at checkout for 25% off your first order. That's the best offer you'll find, but you have to
Starting point is 00:22:37 use my code NickDip for 25% off your first order. One last time, that's promo code NickDip for 25% off your order. NickDip, 25% off your order. My God. By the way, warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. Support the show by going to blackbuffalo.com and using promo code NickDip for 25% off your first order. Thank you guys for sponsoring this show. And I tried some. And it's nice. Maybe it'll get me off the... I don't know. I'll be with you in a minute.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Take it easy. Take it easy. What the fuck, Christopher fuck canines and covid what in christ's name could that mean this is interesting very interesting two dogs trained to detect an odor distinct to people who are sick with covid what do they smell like? Chinese food? Oh, that was a Zing Zangler.
Starting point is 00:23:54 Where the fuck are they? Kiss my ass. Wrong one. Anyways, people who have COVID give off a smell, apparently. These dogs will visit three school districts in Bristol County. This is, poor dogs. Nobody cares about their well-being. Find a bomb.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Sniff this disease. Uh-oh. Apparently, Billy's backpack is covered with it. A black Labrador named Hunter. And by the way, most states it's Hunter. But this is H-U-N-T-A-H because this is a Massachusetts. Hunter, the dog will snip your balls. We found COVID.
Starting point is 00:24:46 And a golden lab, like a Wuhan lab, called the Duke. Duke. Duke. I got the Duke. You fucking got the Duke. Duke can detect the smell of the virus on surfaces and will sit to indicate when they pick up the scent. That's what girls do at a bar when they're drunk. And I'm wearing my fucking canoe cologne. They sit right down and let me know, I'm going to zing zangle you.
Starting point is 00:25:10 And then I go, wah, wah, wah, oh, wah, wah, wah. Yeah, I show them my patriot ring. Blow me or I'll knock your teeth out. The dogs will visit schools in Freetown, Lakeville, and Norton. Freetowns I've barely heard of it. I've been in Massachusetts forever. Let's take a look at the video. When it comes to canines, the nose usually knows.
Starting point is 00:25:33 And both the dog and Hunter, nine-month-old lab step-siblings, have learned to sniff out something so unique, the coronavirus. He's trained on COVID specifically. COVID gives an order, just like everything else in the world. Gives out an specifically. COVID gives an order just like everything else in the world. Gives out an order. COVID gives an out an order. Reminds me of Jackie when she used to put that stuff on her pussy. It gave out an order.
Starting point is 00:25:54 I used to hit it with bear spray. Ed Norton. Lakeville. Anyways, I love it. That's how I sounded when I moved to New York. Nobody could understand me on stage. With COVID, whether it's the Omicron, whether it's the Delta or other fake shit you guys made up, well, the dogs will hit on it, said Bristol County Captain Paul Douglas. And if there's a new variant that comes out in six months, which the Biden administration is probably working on right now. Hopefully there isn't, but if there
Starting point is 00:26:25 is one, COVID is COVID. According to the dogs, COVID is COVID. I kill you. I kill you right now. No, you don't. I'm right here. Kill me. I come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face.
Starting point is 00:26:41 Like a somebody. Come over here. Talk me to my face. Fairhaven School Superintendent Tara Kohler, here we go. Ladies, I hate to be a sexist pig, but this is why this country is just emasculated. It's your nature to be cautious and shit, which is good when you're raising kids and stuff. Not really.
Starting point is 00:27:05 You raise a bunch of fags. But I'm just saying, when we put you in positions of power, it's all about safety. That's what's ruined this fucking country. I don't give a shit. Dogs can sniff fucking COVID. Wait a minute. There's got to be a joke in there about China eating dogs and Wuhan mocking. This poodle tastes like COVID.
Starting point is 00:27:28 No. Anyways, she says she welcomed the dog saying their presence shows students we are doing everything we can to mitigate the risk. What risk? Seriously, how many people have died from ages five to whatever, 18 of COVID?
Starting point is 00:27:43 I think it's minus one, you dumb twat. Seriously. I want them to feel secure and safe, just like a girl, a mom would, and not anxious about their surroundings. Why don't you tell them to grow a pair, you fucking dope? I can't take it. Shut up. Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up.
Starting point is 00:28:02 Shut up. All right. All right. Shut up! Shut up! All right. Well, the dog's, you know, man's best friend. Funny how we treat him.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Dog's a man's best friend. Sniff out that IED, will you? Oh, shit. All that's left is a flea collar and a leg. Hey, this guy might have some type of killer disease in him. Go lick his balls. Okay, you're my best friend. Anyways, here's something. Here's something very unique that an accused Las Vegas murderer nabbed with a severed head in the back I'm trying not to laugh, but I'm not the guy that get killed back of a truck He'd stolen all the luck just happened to swipe the wrong vehicle his lawyer claimed Apparently judge Judy was having none of it
Starting point is 00:28:56 Get your elbows off the table. Look up here Never mind the head. I don't believe you. I stole a fucking truck and had a head and some tits. I don't believe you Eric Hall, I like Judy too. She was the woman I would say that I would vote for president Then she backed Bloomberg and I said you fucking dummy. This guy doesn't look like he would do anything wrong What are you shitting me? His haircut says rape Eric Holland 57 I'm two years older than three years older. I look a little better than that, don't I? I'm going to start dyeing my hair purple. Eric Holland, 57, allegedly stole a gold Chevrolet Avalanche, not realizing that body
Starting point is 00:29:39 parts instead happened to me. I bought a Toyota in high school. Sure enough. Torso in the back seat. What's that smell? I don't know. Anyways, there were body parts and coolers. Was stashed inside when cops pulled them over on December 23rd. Defense attorney David Westbrook said in court, geez, we're losing it. I read such horrendous headlines last night.
Starting point is 00:30:03 A mother slid her two little kids' throats in a tub. There were four as equally as psychotic as that. I don't know what's going on. People always go, it's always been like that. You just get to report it. Bullshit. Bullshit. What the hell's going on out here? I don't know, Vinny. Police said Harlan was initially spotted in a stolen Toyota Tundra, but dodged cops, no pun intended, by ducking into a local parking lot.
Starting point is 00:30:34 Oh, you must have learned this from Henry Hill. And driving out in a different car. Remember Henry Hill did that? In a Chevy, which also had been stolen. Really? Vegas cops made the gristly discovery after pulling over
Starting point is 00:30:49 the Chevy and busting Holland. They found Siegfried's head in a bucket in two dealers' hands. He now faces murder charges in the case with the victim identified as Rich Miller,
Starting point is 00:31:06 my old fucking agent. I had a Dennis Miller's brother was my Rich Miller. Oh, geez, I hope it wasn't. Who died from multiple gunshot wounds. What about the head severing? According to the local coroner. So I don't know. Holland was allegedly an acquaintance of Miller.
Starting point is 00:31:29 Were they dating? But Westbrook said his client is the actual victim of dumb luck. He argued that Holland would not have gotten into the Chevy. Well, now listen to this. This sort of makes a little sense to me. He wouldn't have got into the Chevy while cops were after him if he knew what was in the bed of the truck. But no, you had that car planted there. You stole that one. So shut the fuck up. I almost fell for it.
Starting point is 00:31:51 How dare you? In order to believe he had knowledge of what was in the vehicle, this is his attorney talking, you would have to believe he intentionally led police to the body. Why would he do that, said the lying cocksucker of a lawyer. That's a sick question. You're a sick fuck, and I'm not that sick that I'm going to answer it, said the judge. That's right. Judge Harmony Leticia didn't buy it. Good for you. Here she is saying, I have a cramp in my palm. She's putting a spell on this guy. Judge Harmony Letizia didn't buy it and ordered Harlan held without bail until his next court appearance on January 27th.
Starting point is 00:32:33 Until then, she said they might date. Anyways, what? Officers. What are the odds? I stole a car and my old acquaintance's head was in it. I had nothing to do with it. What are the odds? I stole a car and my old acquaintance's head was in it. I had nothing to do with it. How many times has this happened to you?
Starting point is 00:32:56 So he shot the guy. I always, when I hear a severed head story, I want to know if it was done while they were alive or not. I don't know why I asked that, but, well, you know why? Because of the shit they show on YouTube. I watched one beheading and it didn't sit well with me. And by not sitting well,
Starting point is 00:33:13 what I'm saying is I coughed up a pound of macaroni and cheese on my Red Sox t-shirt. Speaking of guns, guns are good is the headline here. A legally armed Southern California jewel store owner thwarted an attempted smash and grab robbery by four men. Good for him. Don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out.
Starting point is 00:33:36 Four suspects entered a jewelry store in Upland last Thursday just after 2.30 p.m. and deployed bear spray on everyone inside. Dallas, you're probably a hunter or know. What's bear spray? Does it attract female bears? Does it burn? I don't really know. It's not much different than pepper spray.
Starting point is 00:33:55 It's just, you know, to keep a bear from attacking you. Oh, all right. Bear spray. Terrific. Next time the wife wants sex, blast her with that shit. The raid isn't working. Deployed bath spray on everyone inside. After the owner brandished a legally possessed firearm,
Starting point is 00:34:12 the suspect took off in a getaway vehicle waiting outside. No one in the business was seriously injured, so I don't know why I'm talking about this. While working to identify and apprehend the suspects, investigators were contacted by detectives from the San Bernardino County Sheriff's Department, Chino Hill Station, Chino, California,
Starting point is 00:34:33 who said they had reason to believe these suspects were also responsible for other recent violent robberies in Claremont and Chino Hills. Upland PD also learned that most of the suspects involved in the robbery were associated with a local criminal street, really, a street gang and crime in California. Get the fuck out of here.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Is it because we're black? Of course it is. You're different. Let that settle in. At the same time, Upland Police located the suspect's vehicle, SBSO deputies located multiple suspects in the city of Ontario
Starting point is 00:35:13 that were allegedly involved in the aforementioned robberies, including three who were allegedly involved in the Upland attempted robbery. Upland Police executed a search warrant in an apartment in Upland where the fourth suspect was taken into custody. Nice going, fellas. Let me, I hope I can pronounce these Irish names.
Starting point is 00:35:33 The suspects have been identified as Jonathan O. Williamson, just Jonathan Williamson, there he is, 36 from Dublin. No, from Upland. Daylon La Flora, 29. A parolee from L.A. Gerald Kay. Oh, my God. What did he look like? I don't know. Pocahontas with a tattoo on her neck. A parolee from Fontana.
Starting point is 00:36:03 And Jihad Crawford, running back from Nebraska in the early 90s. No, Jihad Crawford, 30, who was on federal probation and wanted for an outstanding warrant. That's what California, that's what this country's turned into. This country needs such a douching. Ted Kennedy, you fucking cocksucker.
Starting point is 00:36:20 I'm glad you're dead. Should have been you who got shot, not your fucking brother. He's the one that opened the gates to every shithole. He said we have too many European immigrants. Ted Kennedy was in on that back in the 60s. Let's open the gates to South and Central America and all the other filth. Nick, you're being racist.
Starting point is 00:36:38 Goddamn right. The four were booked into West Valley Detention Center on various felony charges. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. That was Donald Trump when he heard the news. Anyways, final story, I think. See that? I have no idea. I don't... I don't... Katie by the door. I put cat by the door. Katie. Cat Tiff by the door. Katie bar the door. That's an old... For you young kids under 60, that means it's sort of telling your wife to lock the door. Oh, Katie bar the barn. You've heard that. Usually it's too late. The horse is out to get... Whatever. I looked it up. Scottish
Starting point is 00:37:23 fucking drunks. They always came up with shit like, a Georgia detainee who was being held on murder and other charges. Jesus, what a country of filth. Remained at large late Wednesday after escaping from custody earlier this week, according to a report. Authorities in Effingham County
Starting point is 00:37:44 claimed a suspected door malfunction. Yeah, get that one. Door malfunction. Yeah, the guy guarding it fell asleep while he's doing a word scramble at a detention facility Monday night. Oh, he's watching the game, probably. Allowed the detainee to enter an unsecured area and make his getaway. Holy shit. Bye-bye.
Starting point is 00:38:08 Wow, he sounded white. The fugitive, well, they called him for taunting as he ran away. They added on an extra year at the point of the foul. The fugitive identified as Kevin David Lennox Wilson. I wonder what color he... What? Yo, Kev, what up, man? 32. Can I ask you black parents out there, did you ever fucking watch your kids?
Starting point is 00:38:34 Are there any of you that ever fucking took an ounce of interest in your kid's life? I should be saying singular, I guess. And I mean all due respect. I'm just saying. I love when they try to tell white people how they raise their children and shit. That came up on Tough Ground.
Starting point is 00:38:50 Boy, did Colin put a sock in that one. Anyways, they always say, you got to beat your kids. Yeah, because yours are so well-behaved. David Lennox Wilson, 32, is considered dangerous. I could have told you that. They advise the public not to approach Wilson
Starting point is 00:39:06 if they happen to spot him. Who are you shitting? It's probably some fat blonde broad sitting on his lap at a casino. Wilson was being held for the Rincon Police Department since being arrested during a traffic stop in October 2020. In August, he was indicted on three counts of malice murder,
Starting point is 00:39:26 like there's any other kind. The fuck does that mean, Captain Redundant? One count of felony murder. What's the difference? I don't give a fuck. Aggravated assault. I was charged with that in fifth grade. Armed robbery in possession
Starting point is 00:39:42 of a firearm by a felon. By a felon. By a felon. You think? All in connection with the May 2020 he's going to be on The Bachelor, they said this year. May 2020 incident in Savannah. Oh, right here in our backyard, Dallas.
Starting point is 00:39:59 I think I saw him at the Savannah sugar shop, whatever the candy bucket thing. Ah, You stinky motherfucker. And I'm black, y'all. And I'm blacker than black. And I'm black, y'all. Black, y'all. I'm Irish.
Starting point is 00:40:12 I'm Amish. The Savannah incident involved the death of Vincent Smalls Jr. Vinnie Smalls, a second suspect identified as La Brea Adger, was arrested. Oh, somebody spilled ink in her blonde hair. Look at that fucking nimwit. Oh, my God. Don't ever. That's La Brea?
Starting point is 00:40:44 Named after a tar pit. Nice. Was arrested in June 2020 in connection with the case. Fox 28 reported. I saw it on the news. Anyways, that's enough for the week, I think.
Starting point is 00:40:57 I want to thank you people right now because you make the show possible. Thank you guys again for watching and supporting the show. You can get the Encore show, access to the archives, and more at
Starting point is 00:41:12 thecomicsgym.com, which you can watch on Roku, Amazon Fire, Apple TV devices, and Android TV, or on Patreon.com. Also, please plan to make a contribution today and help keep this show free, just like these fine people did.
Starting point is 00:41:31 Should I just say it now? Paul Cegnell. Robert Curley. He's always there. Kit Fortney. I'm getting embarrassed reading the same eight names. Could somebody else step up?
Starting point is 00:41:43 Hey, Kit, don't you have a cousin who hates fucking, you know what? Kit Fortney, Michigan. Paul Sagnella. Jesus Christ. I thank you guys. Don't stop. Apparently, you're the backman. Joseph Hirsch of Ohio.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Andrea Caruso of New York. Larry Ramey of Ohio. Sean Powell of Florida. Adrian Lambros of New Hampshire, Jay Lundgren of Virginia, John Ashley, Utah, John Amaredis, Dougie Young. New monthly supporters, and these are brand new. Patrick Burtz, Michael Grandy, Jimmy Gomes, or I say Gomez. Ben Mathis, Johnny's little nephew. Anthony Narciso.
Starting point is 00:42:33 Thank you, guys. Those are brand new names. We need more of those. Thank you, guys, again. This show is going to blow up, okay? We're going to play it smart on YouTube. But Tommy already told me the numbers are up by us putting stuff out there that they can actually run on YouTube. Tommy already told me the numbers are up by us putting stuff out there that they can actually run
Starting point is 00:42:46 on YouTube. And so keep your chin up. I want to get this so popular that when I go to do stand-up, we have a thousand people there and I can pay for my flight. That is it. Again, don't forget
Starting point is 00:43:02 thecomicsgym.com, nickdip.com, cameo.com. If you want me to roast a friend or relative thecomicsgym.com nickdip.com cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative go to cameo.com I'll make a video
Starting point is 00:43:09 on my phone you tell me about the person and we'll roast the shit out of them that's it for the week you guys think it I'll say
Starting point is 00:43:15 it you're very welcome have a great weekend see you back here on Monday take care everybody everybody. guitar solo.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.