The Nick DiPaolo Show - Iran's Irate Presser | Nick Di Paolo Show #1313

Episode Date: November 29, 2022

Trump & Kari. Iran Mad at U.S. A Florida Man... Dog Shoots Man. Tampons in Men's Restroom. Sam Brinton Steals Luggage....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Please take a moment to share today's episode with someone who values free speech and enjoys brutal honest comedy and enjoys a fellow Listener to ¶¶ Richie Castellano of Blue Oyster Cult fame. Tickling that 21st fret, or 16th, I don't know. I don't have an answer to that shit. Again, I get depressed. I stop looking at YouTube. 14-year-old Asian girls making Clapton look like a hack. Smash my guitar in the alley.
Starting point is 00:01:05 I get two of them. I get one now. That's how I roll. If I can't do it as good as somebody else, I want nothing to do with it. Except for sex. I'll go in there any time, eh? It's a different situation.
Starting point is 00:01:16 Anyways, hey, just started watching Yellowstone. I know I'm a couple years behind, but fucking Kevin Costner is just a movie star. Like, all-time fucking handsome as the day is long. He looks better now that he's almost 70 or whatever the fuck. I'm not saying I'm going to blow him. I'm just saying. Then they got the broad in there, Kelly Riley.
Starting point is 00:01:36 Isn't that a good name? Redhead. She's real hateful characters. But fucking, they show it nice. It's a beautiful thing. But good story. and, you know, I'm dying to see how they put a spin on it. It's, you know, Native Americans
Starting point is 00:01:51 going against a bad white guy. But Carson is the star. You gonna make him look like an asshole now? Probably. Good show. That and another new show I just found. It's called Flintstones. Ever seen it?
Starting point is 00:02:02 It's animated. A guy named Fred and his friend. All right. What'd you do last night? Anything, fella? You and the lady? I just finished decorating the house. Wow. You want to cider a cock with that? What? Only if it has sprinkles on top.
Starting point is 00:02:18 Wait, oh, Christmas, you mean? Yeah. You're like, no, Ramadan. Married a bitch from Tehran. Kwanzaa. K thought, okay. You're like, no, Ramadan. Fucking married a bitch from Tehran. Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. Again, that's a holiday. It's steeped in history.
Starting point is 00:02:33 It goes back to April of 1997. I'm surprised they don't complain about Black Friday. No, it's been around a long time, but people like, one guy got shot at a Walmart Black Friday the day after Thanksgiving. I used to, you know, we used to hear about Russia and Brazil being the most violent. They can't have much more on us than right now. What with liberal DAs letting every fucking psycho out on purpose strange times let's get right to it speaking of strange dunn and carrie sitting in a tree
Starting point is 00:03:15 f-u-c-k-i-n-g what that's how i did it don and care that would be donald trump and carrie lake former president donnie trump a lot of people saying his time is up i don't ever underestimate how I did it. Don and Carrie, that would be Donald Trump and Carrie Lake. Former president, Donnie Trump, a lot of people saying his time is up. I don't ever underestimate this guy, ever. Again, rejected the results. And again, I'm going to read the article. I think this is from the New York Post. But you'd think it came out of the fucking Atlantic, a far-left magazine, not the fucking, not the river. Again, rejected the results of Arizona's gubernatorial election Monday. Calling for Republican Kerry Lake to be declared the winner due to a supposed criminal,
Starting point is 00:04:00 you're still saying supposed about 2016, and that there's baseless accusations when there's a ton of evidence. So fuck off. Suppose a criminal voting operation. So Trump's moving in there and saying, put this broad where I told you. Who's your fucking boss, huh? Who's your fucking boss? Look at them. His left hand is right up under her skirt, grabbing that left ass cheek. Oh, they, what you famous, you grab the pussies. Watch this. Hey, Carrie, give me all these shakes.
Starting point is 00:04:30 Anyway, so he's saying, and why wouldn't you think that? Every other state got their fucking results within a couple days at the latest. Jerkoff's Maricopa County, you know, got it last week or whatever. So why wouldn't you think that? All kinds of tabulation mistakes in Republican precincts with the machines. They're not supposed to ask questions and then you get labeled, you know, a denier. Suck a bag of cheese, whiz. Massive numbers of broken voting machines in Republican districts on election day. Mechanics sent, this is Trump talking, I think, mechanics sent in to fix them, made them worse, Trump said, in a true social post without offering evidence.
Starting point is 00:05:16 Oh, yeah, he's got a, without offering evidence. You're covering the story. He's going to give you two hours of detail blow by blow. And all the documents and all that. That's what you need to prove your point. And by the way, they did that and still it makes me nuts.
Starting point is 00:05:36 When they talk about the presidential election and them Trump questioning it and they go, all the judges turned everything down. No, they didn't even look at some of the shit. Remember, they wouldn't even let it into court. So they didn't look at it, assess it, and go, no, there's no cheating here. Oh, my God. They really think we're fucking retarded.
Starting point is 00:05:54 I love that she's doing this. You see how this makes news? But Stacey Abrams fucking, unless you're watching Fox or something, you would have never known she's still saying, I won fucking three years ago. Anyways, he said that on a post. Kerry had to be taken to a Democrat area, which was working perfectly to vote. Her opponent ran the election. Trump added, it was so obvious that Lake 53 should not have lost a Democrat.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Katie Hobbs, Arizona's 50-year-old Secretary of State. Yeah, you can't judge a book by its cover. You dogstyling me, this broad, I guarantee you she'll hurt. She's got more hair under her eyes than Bill Lambere from the Pistons back in the... And those glasses that say I'm a fucking vile, you know what? Otherwise, and I know she doesn't douche. Family of pelicans following her on the campaign.
Starting point is 00:06:55 Get in the van. It looked like a scene from the birds. She's on the beach. Hobbes defeated Lake by a little more than two red pubic hairs. 17,000 votes out of more than two and a half million ballots cast. And she should... Ah, no, it's not. You get nothing. You lose.
Starting point is 00:07:16 You hear that, bitch? That was me. Even though they say you're the winner. Well, Nick, how's that different? Isn't Carrie Lake doing what Stacey... No, because Stacey Adams lost by 50,000 votes and there was evidence and it was proven. So that tells me after that election, when she was running for governor the first time, they they did investigation after, didn't they? Well, we're going to do that here. The 45th president also.
Starting point is 00:07:41 I took the fake tooth out because I was lisping. Now I'm lisping because of the hole. It's getting big. Hey, Dallas, how was your weekend? The 45th president also referenced his own failed reelection bid in 2020, which he continues to claim was the result of widespread voter fraud. Well, again, watch 2,000 mules and tell me that Dinesh D'Souza made all that shit up.
Starting point is 00:08:08 I don't know. You get a little suspicious when you see cardboard, again, on the voting poll windows. A truck show up in the middle of the night and all of a sudden Biden goes up like, suck it, Dick. On top of the stuffers in broad daylight.
Starting point is 00:08:22 And all that, yes. That was the whole movie. The fucking ballot stuffers. Carrie Lake should be installed, Governor Arizona. Trump said, this is almost as bad as the 2020 presidential election, which the House unselect committee refuses to touch because they know it was fraudulent. And you goddamn know he...
Starting point is 00:08:41 Yes, sir. Lake has refused to concede to Hobbs, blaming her projected loss on voting issues in Maricopa County, home to about a half of all Arizona voters. They say that like she has no reason to. The county had problems counting votes on election day morning
Starting point is 00:09:00 after ballots at roughly one third of its 223 poll. Three goes into eight, it's about 75 polling sites were printed with ink too light to be read by vote tabulation machines. Really. Affected voters had to wait in longer lines, go to another voting location, or place their ballots in a separate box to be read later by hand. And we all know that. Are you fucking kidding me? Technicians resolved the issue by 1130 a.m. local time, about five and a half hours after the voting began.
Starting point is 00:09:42 What the hell's going on out here? Oh, just a little cheating. And like I said, folks, before the midterms, remember what I said? If it wasn't a total red tsunami, even if the Democrats want a couple things,
Starting point is 00:09:56 it's fixed. And I gave a reason for that because Biden is literally the worst president. Seriously, within everything, on all accounts, whatever you want to use to measure his performance. There's no way that wasn't a slaughter.
Starting point is 00:10:10 There's just no fucking way. So I'll say it again. There's 10 people in a room. I'm getting to a story later on about Ireland. The same shit's going on there as far as flying immigrants in and the gay agenda. And we'll get to it in a few minutes. Sit tight in that ripped beanbag chair while you suck on beef jerky.
Starting point is 00:10:27 While Maricopa County's printer issue in 2022 impacted more vote centers than normal, every voter was afforded the ability to legally, securely cast their ballot, the department said in its report. Because, you know. You're lying. You wouldn't lie.
Starting point is 00:10:42 And you're a piece of shit. Lake's team filed a lawsuit in a state court on Wednesday against Maricopa County demanding information on voters who ballots were affected by voting machine problems. Yeah, that's so fucking outrageous on her part. Arizona counties had until Monday to certify their vote totals. Election officials in Republican-dominated Mojave and Cochise counties, holy boy, a bunch of dead Indians out there, have said they plan to hold off on certifying the results. And they should. And they should. I'm irate.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Speaking of irate, Iran's irate. Why are they not? Well, that's what Dennis Larry said. He had a great joke back in the 90s. He said fucking, how angry they are. You got Iran, you got fucking Iraq. Why don't we combine and make it irate? Yeah, so I'd like to know whose idea it was to pick Qatar for the...
Starting point is 00:11:39 Oh, I got a stamp for the National Anthem. Of Minnesota. Oh, I got a stamp of the National Anthem. Of Minnesota. Do that, you get fucking imprisoned. In a surreal scene, USMNT. Anybody know what that stands for? U.S. Men's National Team. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:12:10 How about fucking Dallas right on top of that? I thought it was the U.S. Mint Collection you sent away for the Chesapeake. Coach Greg Berhalter. You are an idiot, clink. There's Berhalter going through his third round of chemo, pointing right where the tumor is. Coach Greg Berhalter and team captain Tyler Adams were quizzed on Government Relations Monday
Starting point is 00:12:29 by Iranian journalists ahead of the U.S. must-win match against Iran. They must have been praying to get us, right, to face the U.S. so they could. Against Iran in the World Cup. Oh, that's today. What's the over on beheadings after the game? I'm going with the over. Berhalter was pressed as to why he hasn't asked the United States government to remove a naval ship
Starting point is 00:12:57 from around Iran like he's fucking McHale's Navy. According to USA Today Sports, Nancy, what a dumb... It's just so ridiculous. Oh my God. Berhalter was also asked about U.S. immigration policies, to which the 49-year-old head coach said, listen, you sand monkey, I don't know enough about politics. I'm a soccer coach. Go home and beat your wife because she showed her toes. Elsewhere in the 10th session, Berhalter addressed the social media controversy that erupted over the weekend when U.S. soccer scrubbed the
Starting point is 00:13:32 Islamic Republic emblem from Iran's flag on posts to show support for protesters in the country. That's kind of a ballsy move, I have to admit. Berhalter said the players and staffers had no idea about what U.S. soccer put out. So they're saying Pfeiffer did it. I don't believe that either. In regard to the posts, which were later deleted, we've got a comment from the Iranian coach. All right, we get it. All we can do on our behalf is apologize on behalf of the players don't do that
Starting point is 00:14:09 just say you know nothing about it don't go any further and the staff but it's not something that we are part of berhalter said adding i'm a soccer fag coach is why don't you have why don't you ask that question of a guy like Mike Ditka or even read for the Chiefs or some quotes like that. I don't know a thing about it, you cocksucker. Or Belichick. Belichick would be like this. Belichick, yeah.
Starting point is 00:14:38 Why didn't you, Coach Belichick, why didn't you say something about the naval ship that's been circling Iran? He looks at the camera. We're on to Iraq. We're on to Afghanistan. One day at a time. Do your job.
Starting point is 00:14:56 Burke halted, adding his thoughts are with the people of Iran, except the women, he said. He don't like the way they dress. except the women, he said. He don't like the way they dress. Meanwhile, imagine if the coach said, you got an icy cover? What's the sense of having tits, ladies, if you don't show? Meanwhile, Adams was asked about the October lager they put out. Apparently it was orange with fruity tones of ala in it.
Starting point is 00:15:24 Apparently it was orange with fruity tones of Allah in it. Was asked about mispronouncing Iran's name. First of all, they, boy. Hates Jews. Hates Jews. Well, yeah, Iran does. Now, this guy, this player does a nice job of handling this asinine question. You say you support the Iranian people, but you're pronouncing our country's name wrong our country is named Iran pause not Iran pause and I would look into the country
Starting point is 00:15:51 in the camera and go you pretend to be friends with us and you know you want to have dialogue and then every time I put on the tv for the last 40 years, you're burning our flag and stepping on it. So suck my white American slash black nuts. I'd also like to point out, and I'm going to start the video from the top again, because he actually leads by saying Iranian people. Does he really? How about the Alice on top of this? I was watching this and you point at the same time. Here we go. You say you support
Starting point is 00:16:25 the Iranian people, but you're pronouncing our country's name wrong. Our country is named Iran, not Iran. Please, once and for all, let's get this clear. Second of all, are you okay to be representing a country that has so much discrimination against
Starting point is 00:16:42 black people in its own borders? You saw the Black Lives Matter movement over the past few years. that has so much discrimination against black people in its own borders. Kiss my ass. And we saw the Black Lives Matter movements over the past few years. Kiss my ass. My apologies on the mispronunciation of your country. Yeah, that being said, you know, there's discrimination everywhere you go. You know, one thing that I've learned, especially from living abroad in the past years
Starting point is 00:17:03 and having to fit in in different cultures, is that in the U.S. we're continuing to make progress every single day. Yeah. Wait a minute. Is there more to this? Is that all he sent? Because he goes on to say he's raised by a white family, by the way. Who's raised by a white family, which was beautiful. Shut fucking raghead right up.
Starting point is 00:17:27 Who do they fucking... He's trying to get him in India. I got you. Yeah. Let me tell you something. If Trump was still in office, they wouldn't ask those questions. If they asked him, the kid could have said, didn't our president drop a Moab on you guys? One of your fucking terrorist leaders coming out of his house? Any more questions?
Starting point is 00:17:48 Fuck Stain. Then they should show a clip of it. Let's pick a country that's less controversial. Anyways, head over to nickdip.com to get some exclusive hats, T-shirts, hoodies, and more. And what I mean by exclusive is no other comic is selling my stuff on their site. It's yet another way for you to support the show and look good at the same time. Not that you don't look good now.
Starting point is 00:18:13 You can also get signed copies of Mein Kampf and Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. No. Together. Not together. It's the bundle package. You should see Miss Oktoberfest the bundle package
Starting point is 00:18:28 you can also get signed copies of my previous specials in all of the Nicker shirts just go to NickDip.com and click on store again NickDip.com and click on the store button thank you guys very much comedy been very meeky oaken to me I don't know
Starting point is 00:18:44 I just trying to slow it down okay i'm just trying to no no no no apparently dallas isn't listen i don't blame him uh in our fla segment tonight ladies and gentlemen the florida man and i remember this story i just did a duck i I just did a Donald Duck. Motherfucker. The Florida man accused of, and I remember this like it was yesterday. When I heard this was six years ago, I'm going to shit. Accused of randomly killing a couple, randomly, in their garage six years ago and gnawing on one of the victim's faces afterwards
Starting point is 00:19:29 was found, of course, in 2022 in America, not guilty by reason of insanity on Monday and will be committed to a mental health facility. You're out of order. You're out of order. The whole trial is out of order. I don't have a problem with this if he's guaranteed to be raped by a bunch of other crazy. Seriously. But he's not.
Starting point is 00:19:54 And that's what he deserves. A lifetime of fucking rape. How the fuck? Imagine you were a relative of this couple. You wouldn't fucking hunt this guy. I don't think, well, they are secure, the Nuthouses, a little bit, but you could fake it. Pretend you're delivering fucking garlic knots.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Unbelievable. Austin Heriff, 25, seen here. Boy, they all look alike, the psychos, don't they? He looks like a young James Caan. Pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity to two counts of first-degree murder. First of all, he was on drugs, right? So that's not insanity. There's my argument. Well, it makes you crazy. That's not the same as being crazy. There's my argument. I think I makes you crazy. That's not the same as being crazy. There's my argument. I think I just could have solved this. And other charges for the 2016 slangs of John
Starting point is 00:20:51 Stevens, 59, and his beautiful wife Michelle Mishcon Stevens, 53. That could have been me and my wife, but the guy never showed up. Nick, why do you say that? He also seriously injured a neighbor. What did he do, throw a lawn dart at him? Who was trying to help, prosecutors said. A judge accepted the plea deal Monday. Harouf, who attended Florida State and returned punts.
Starting point is 00:21:28 Oh my God, what a jerk-off looking university before the attack. So let me get this straight. And again, proving my point, he went to college. Well, you know, kind of normal. And then the drugs. But he's not cuckoo. Will be committed to a secure mental health facility until doctors and a judge agree that he's no longer dangerous yeah what gives it that idea watch out because i'm fucking maggot police reportedly found haroof who was 19 at the time, nearly naked and biting John Stevens' face. He did not know his victims and reportedly claimed he believed he was being chased by a demon. Don't they all? In a 38-page mental health report released by the Martin County State Attorney's Office
Starting point is 00:22:22 in 2019, forensic psychologist, remind me not to call this jerk off, Dr. Philip Resnick concluded that Harouf believed he was half dog, half man. I do that every time I'm having sex. I mean, am I crazy? Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. Girl's pretty hot. So is he.
Starting point is 00:22:46 What a waste of cock. Anyways, we actually have a video of him gnawing the guy's face. Somebody got a footage of this. They were trying to hide it. Good. That's the biggest laugh in the history of SNL. Investigators discovered Harouf bought hallucinogenic mushrooms. Holy Christ. I did mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:23:27 You can get them that strong? I'd get ripped off. I didn't bite nobody's face, huh? Mushrooms several days before the attack, but that wouldn't do it. Authority said no traces of the drug were found in his blood that night. Yeah, because that's what...
Starting point is 00:23:43 It wasn't bath salts? The judge said Harouf will remain in Martin County Jail until he's taken to a secure mental health facility. Tell us one more time in this story, you fucks. Monitor by the Florida Department of Children and fucking faggy families. Bauer said he will not be allowed to leave the facility without a fucking ass search. Two mental health experts, one hired by the defense, another by the prosecutors, examined Harouf and found he suffered
Starting point is 00:24:08 an acute psychotic episode during the... Yeah, brought on by drugs. Don't fucking tell me. I did bath salts. They're not in your system 10 minutes later. And could not distinguish between right and wrong. Are you fucking kidding me? Problem? You're the fucking problem?
Starting point is 00:24:27 You fucking Dr. Why onking jam rag, I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. He called him H, Haroof. The trial had been delayed by COVID-19 pandemic, legal wrangling, and Haroof's recovery from critical injury suffered while drinking a chemical during the attack. What the fuck? Who doesn't
Starting point is 00:24:48 like a nice cold Kingsford, shot of Kingsford lighter after you bite somebody's face off? Are you fucking kidding me? My dad used to say about the insanity plays, he goes, if a dog is crazy, you put it down.
Starting point is 00:25:08 And people, well, that's a dog, not a human. I would say the dogs are actually a little higher than us. At least a guy like that. Headline, man's worst friend. A new dad. This one blows me away, and I don't give a fuck. This is a murder in my opinion. I know I'm no Mannix or Magnum P.I. or Andy Griffith.
Starting point is 00:25:37 A new dad tragically died after he was accidentally shot by who, folks? His own dog. Does it bite? No, it shoots. During a hunting excursion in Turkey over Thanksgiving, of course. I mean, again, the fucking world is just, how can you make that up? On Thanksgiving. that. On Thanksgiving.
Starting point is 00:26:04 Now, that's like if it happened in Greece on, what's Mexican? Cinco de Mayo. Greasy. I can say that. I'm Italian. I'm greasy. On Thanksgiving in Turkey. So they're blaming it on the
Starting point is 00:26:23 fucking dog. Oh, maybe they have a point. He sounded angry. Listen to this, folks. They want us to believe this. You can blow me. The freak accident occurred while Osgur Gavrogu... Why the names? Just because of your name, I'm glad you did.
Starting point is 00:26:50 Nobody have to spell that anymore. No, I'm kidding, fella. Was pursuing game with his pals on the Kizian Plateau in Simpson, where I fucking golfed a few years ago. Province last weekend, newsflash reported. While the expedition went off without a hitch disaster struck while the big game hunter was packing up to leave apparently the dog said I don't want to go and said get down on your knees lock your finger he did listen
Starting point is 00:27:20 Kevin Cuckoo Lou was reported putting his pet dog in the trunk of the car. Well, wait a minute. That's not nice. When it's paw, you got to be. Inadvertently touched the trigger of this still loaded shotgun. A paw can't fit in there. Am I right, Dallas? Get it?
Starting point is 00:27:40 I mean, the circumstances would have to be so perfect for something like that to happen. It's just not, even if it got in there, you've got to really pull that fucking trigger on a shotgun. And move the dog in a certain way. And just, yeah, it's. Although the way this guy has his gun, the way he handles it in this picture. You sure his wife's not thriving? He's trying to pull a Kennedy. The trigger of the
Starting point is 00:28:09 still-loaded shotgun causing the weapon to discharge into the hunter at close range. That's got to stick. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. The dog lover was subsequently rushed to the veterinarian at Alcom State Hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.
Starting point is 00:28:27 Oh, my God. He's gone, and we couldn't do nothing about it. The dog goes on trial July 5th. His body was then transferred to the state capital of Samson for an autopsy, while an investigation is currently underway into the details surrounding the man's death, which occurred just 10 days after he had become a father. Something stinks to high heavens here. Right?
Starting point is 00:28:57 Interestingly, in a related story, a poodle stabbed a woman to death at the grocery store after buying dry food instead of the wet, yucky. Interestingly, some Turkish media outlets claim that Gevorgoglu was actually murdered. Yeah, I'm with those people. And the dog excuse is simply a cover-up. Why don't you look into the guys that were with him, number one? I'm sure you have. However, as of yet, investigators haven't found any evidence of foul play. We went to the dog for comment.
Starting point is 00:29:29 Boy, a lot of dog play here today. Sounds like a fucking pet store up in this motherfucker. Hey guys, make plans to come and see me on the road. Here's where I'll be and when. I'll be in the men's room in the second stall of the Comedy Off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky, January 13th and 14th, March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of KC in Mizzou, April 21, 22, the Funny Bone in St. Louis, then the next night in St. Charles, Missouri.
Starting point is 00:29:58 You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com and click on the tour button. All these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the tour button. Our father, you never close your eyes anymore when I kiss your lips. Boom, boom, boom, boom. You never let me touch your filthy teeth. let me touch your filthy teeth. And baby, baby, I know it. A vending machine distributing free tampons. What did I call this? Bloody Marty? Anyone want a Bloody Marty? I think I came up with a new drink for trans people. Not celery. You stare at the dildo.
Starting point is 00:30:46 Nice fucking. A vending machine distributing free tampons. By the way, this is in Ireland, folks. The government of the parliamentary building. Free tampons has been installed in at least one men's bathroom in Ireland's parliament building. It comes as the general pubic public in the country faces increasing financial does any of this sound familiar?
Starting point is 00:31:11 The country's facing financial difficulty as a result of the cost of living crisis, check United States, with the nation's authority also having sparked a massive migrant crisis, check Joe Biden, this year as a result of their open border policies.
Starting point is 00:31:30 Okay. Sound familiar? Fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. That's why it's global, folks. This is a global plan. When people are going, who's telling Biden to do that? It's the fucking 12 guys that are running
Starting point is 00:31:47 the rest of the fucking planet. Well, this has all resulted in a serious strain on the coffers of the Irish state. Officials in the country feel that it's still worth spending taxpayers' money on making sure men have access to tampons.
Starting point is 00:32:07 Now, this guy apparently having his period. That's what my pants look like when I fart real hard. Sometimes I draw mud after that's... Ever fart and rip your ass all open? Seriously. According to a report by Gripped Media, the general public became aware of the machines arrival after the folks who are listening. It's a guy sitting on a bench with his legs spread open, khakis on, and a big blood splot right on his crotch. Slash asshole. So it was a good joke, if you saw it. After the...
Starting point is 00:32:35 I just found out from Tommy that 75% of our people are listeners. What am I doing this shit for? 25%? You're missing out. You are, folks. Of the machine's arrival after the editor of one of the major newspapers published a photo of it online,
Starting point is 00:32:54 there's the machine. That must hold 14,000 tampons. I know. You know? Let me tell you how rich I am. You know that cotton that Mr. Lindell uses for his sheets? My wife's tampons are made from Giza.
Starting point is 00:33:10 From the Giza Valley. Very high threat count. Yeah, exactly. High threat count. Very absorbent. However, despite the fact that even some political parties have denounced the free tampons for men, guess who fucking defending this? Leftist politicians and activists and journalists because they have an agenda.
Starting point is 00:33:30 I don't know what it is. I used to not believe in good and evil. I do now. We're quick to jump to its defense. Of course they were. My vagina's angry. It is. All right, Bill.
Starting point is 00:33:48 Whatever you say. One said that it was about time that the machine was installed. Now, I'd like to fucking corner that cocksucker and go, why? Is there a huge demand for this? That's the only question. You'd shut him right up. What do you mean it's about time? Are there a shitload of... First of all, it's in a government building. about time? Are there a shitload of... First of all, it's in a government building. Is Parliament filled with trans people? The answer's no, you fucking Irish faggot. Another praise it as allowing trans people to get tampons. Yes, all one of them. Fucking Melanie O'Rourke, known as Mel, on the fucking, on the pitch. Public sentiment towards both the government and mainstream opposition parties has also soured as a result of Ireland's ongoing migrant crisis with, listen to this, sound familiar? Officials bringing in tens of thousands of alleged
Starting point is 00:34:40 asylum seekers from abroad over the last year, with authorities often dropping hundreds of migrants into areas under the cover of night. Does it sound familiar, folks? Do you understand this is a global move to put us under their thumb, one world government? Cover of night as tradition. You know what? i'll put about 10 drunk irishmen against 50 fucking venezuelans uh accommodation as i shouldn't say it's probably coming from africa uh anyways accommodations already uh have been overrun so it's the same shit had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane. Finally tonight, right?
Starting point is 00:35:31 Headline, lying cocksucker. Well, that could be about anybody that you guys watch on the news or in government. The energy department, you're going to love this one. This one really got the short hairs on my taint to stand up and salute. See what? I don't know. Both my balls and my asshole.
Starting point is 00:35:49 What a show tonight, folks. You don't hear this type of talk on the Bill O'Reilly show. Well, he's canceled. I know. The Energy Department's chief of nuclear. I'll say that again. The Energy Department. We're back in America now.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Chief of nuclear waste disposal, which is ironic because that's exactly what he is, Sam Brenton, who identifies, there you go, as gender fluid. This is a guy working with nuclear waste. I don't care, you know, has been, he's gender fluid, has been charged with felony theft. Can you imagine a fucking cocksucker and a thief after allegedly stealing a female victim's luggage at Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport in September? Court documents show.
Starting point is 00:36:35 Take a look at him. Look at that. There's nothing wrong with him. Throwing your son looks like a fag to me. Well, you got that right. Jesus, he's got the mouth of fucking somebody quick, something funny. Mr. Ed? I don't know. Britton,
Starting point is 00:36:50 excuse me, who was hired. Yeah, he doesn't dress for attention, does he? What are you, fucking Britton? They got a picture with an actual luggage. And played here by Matt Damon. Yes. As Dallas said, that matt damon playing him right
Starting point is 00:37:07 there and you know there's a cop scout cut up in 11 pieces in that baggage car brenton who was hired by the administration in february was filmed allegedly stealing a woman's roller bag at the airport's baggage claim area by security cameras on september 16th according to a criminal complaint filed on oct October 27th. Security footage also showed Brinton taking the woman's luggage from the baggage carousel and then removing the tags before leaving the scene at a quick pace,
Starting point is 00:37:35 according to the complaint. After defendant, that would be fruit cup here, took the blue bag from carousel seven, defendant is observed leaving the airport in a rideshare vehicle with blue bag from Carousel 7. Defendant is observed leaving the airport in a rideshare vehicle with blue bag, the complaint read. Records from American Airlines, here's where you get busted,
Starting point is 00:37:52 confirmed that defendant did not check a bag. So what are you doing at the carousel when defendant departed Washington, D.C. to Minneapolis airport? Brinton is an outspoken sucker of Satan's cock activist and identifies as a cum-guzzling
Starting point is 00:38:11 salsa dancing middleweight champion gender fluid while using they them pronouns. They are a fucking thief and they are a cocksucker. And according to the Washington Examiner, they got a... Oh, we got a comment from him?
Starting point is 00:38:29 I suck cock and I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy, yummy. Thanks for connecting the dots. I had no idea. Here he is seeing a nice evening gown off the shoulder. Peach Melba. He's got lipstick and a mustache on. Britton was also a member of, oh,
Starting point is 00:38:50 drag queen society called the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence. Isn't that what the Vikings called the defensive line in the 70s? That was the Jets defense in the 80s. And dressed up as a drag queen character called Sister Ray D. Dioactive. I don't even get it. Unfunny in a goo gobbler. According to a 2018 Instagram. Oh, look at him here.
Starting point is 00:39:20 What in God's name is he doing here? We can't get away from this shit. what in God's name is he doing here? We can't get away from this shit. It's a picture of him, ladies and gentlemen, if you're listening. He's got a guy on a leash with a black fucking, looks like a... It's a whole BDSM thing. Yeah, exactly. Dallas knows his shit.
Starting point is 00:39:41 He hung his stuff up in my house. It's a Tuesday night, you know. Tuesday night at the Ramrod or the toolbox. Brenton was questioned by police on October 9th after security footage showed the
Starting point is 00:39:50 nuclear official carrying the bag at Dallas International Airport according to the complaint. Brenton initially claimed that the
Starting point is 00:39:57 bag was taken by mistake. Boy, you lie horribly for a government official. And no clothes or objects have been removed from the case before he revised his story. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it.
Starting point is 00:40:12 Approximately two hours later, defendant called your complaint. Defendant apologized for not being completely honest. Defendant admitted to taking the blue bag, but stated they were tired and took the suitcase thinking it was theirs. Oh my God. This guy works in government. Defendant said when they opened the bag at the hotel, they realized it was not theirs because there was no 14-foot dildo and bull whips and nipple clamps. The complaint read, defendant got nervous. People would think they stole the bag and don't know what to do. Defending stated they left the clothes from the bag inside the drawers in the hotel room. God. Fucking quiz. None of the, when I read this about him stealing
Starting point is 00:41:02 the bag and opening it, I was picturing Ben Stiller in Meet the Parents when he finally gets his, remember De Niro opens it and there's the whip. If I was smart, I would have put that in there, but only 25% would see it. None of the female victims' clothes were found in Britain's hotel room, okay? So he lied about that. The contents
Starting point is 00:41:19 of the bag were valued at over two grand. Again, this is a government official, folks folks this is what your woke world gets you and i'm going to say this again i said it yesterday let's quit calling it woke because that's too innocuous for what's going on it's marxism straight up with a twist with a you know with an emphasis on gender it's about upending the nuclear family, which is the fucking heart of America. So quit, you know, stop with the woke shit. Call it something more evil.
Starting point is 00:41:51 I don't know, Biden-esque. I guess that is it. Don't forget Cameo.com. You want me to roast a friend or relative, go to Cameo.com and click on my profile. That'll tell you how to do it. You guys think it, I'll say it. You're very welcome.
Starting point is 00:42:06 See you back here. Jesus, Wednesday, tomorrow? See you back here tomorrow. Have a nice day, everybody. Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar soloサブタイトル キミノミヤ

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