The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jack Smith Interferes With Election | Nick Di Paolo Show #1632

Episode Date: October 3, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about DOJ Election interference, Israel's response and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com  SEE NICK LIVE: 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour   

Music playing I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. is a small as I he cannot above me nor I then he here be so the age of 17 century nice light opening how are you folks if you haven't seen Cape Fair with De Niro before, you know, he turned into a fucking retard. Excuse me. You gotta see it. It's just fucking tremendous. I know the people go, the original one's even scarier. No, it is not. It's fucking great. Don't get me wrong. Robert Mitchum, who does a cameo on this one, but De Niro is, who would have guessed in New York, I think he's a half a fag, his dad was a big girl.

You know the original one was shot here in Savannah. Is that right? No kidding. I thought I saw him at the ordinary pub. So yeah, anyways, little yapparini. Playoff baseball, how about the Tigers and the fucking Kansas City Royals moving on, knocking out the Astros and the Orioles? Orioles must be furious. And Braves getting knocked out too. Braves getting

knocked out. Yeah Mets, they blew one late I guess so that one's gonna be the rubber game must be today I'm guessing right and then you get Football tonight. I don't know who in my big football pool. That's my idea gambling at 62 But fucking this is why people love this league. There's so much parody the Buccaneers at the Falcons It's a fucking pick-em. They're both actually decent teams for the first month of the season. And that's the one I sweated over. Anyways, what do I know? What else do they have to tell you? Oh yeah, I have AIDS. Let's get on with the show. I got to work out after here. I got

to. Since I got home, I don't know what it is. I got home from Bay. I've been eating like a fucking animal. When I was in Salt Lake City, I didn't eat. I hardly ate anything the first two days in Dallas. Really, I felt like I'd lost eight pounds in like two days. And then when I went to Salt Lake City There was a Domino's in the parking lot of my hotel Sure, they're a better better pizzerias, but I'm sorry I can walk over and get it. Sorry Don't even make the guy come over. I went and got it and They tell you who makes your pizza like on the app. It goes car. I walk and I go. Hey, who the fuck's Carson everybody? makes you pizza like on the app. It goes, I walk in, I go, hey, who the fuck's Carson?

Everybody, quiet. I went, I'm kidding. Yeah, don't. Some Indian dude. Exactly. Turban on a donkey. I said, who's Carson? Cause I don't want McMahon, that hack, touching my pizza.

Who's with me? You are correct. And I got a medium and I ate the whole thing and I'd say about 28 minutes I'm not exaggerating. Whole pizza Didn't even burp Didn't even ship for five days either, but I'm just saying I can't help it. That is my crack. That is my fentanyl I just can't help it even Domino's my wife laughs. That's it gross. I don't give a fuck. I

Said how can you fuck a bread cheese and sauce I mean you can it's not like I don't know the difference I'm just saying to me there is no bad pizza that's how much I like it you know I said to my wife just like dick right you feel that way about that yeah she goes what I married you why you All right folks now that I've killed five minutes It's Thursday we try to keep it light until I do the story about the baby being eaten by rats, but I'm not kidding Offensive interference. I call this story former president Trump blasted the Justice Department I can't believe these fuckers are still doing this the Justice Department, Wednesday, having disobeyed their own rule in favor of

complete and total election interference after a key filing from Special Counsel Black Jack Smith. There he is cast to himself. Special Counsel Jack Smith's election case against Trump was unsealed with just weeks before Americans cast their ballots US District Court for the District of Columbia judge Tanya Chukin She a black judge female. How do you think she's gonna go Tanya Chukin unsealed Smith's 165 page filing Wednesday afternoon the filing lays out his case and the alleged evidence that he intends to use in an eventual trial against Trump. Trump pleaded not guilty to all charges brought by Smith. What's this video of?

Just what Smith said. Oh yeah, this is what Jack Smith said like yesterday. Go ahead. Quote, working with a team of private co-conspirators, the defendant, Mr. Trump, acted as a candidate when he pursued multiple criminal means to disrupt through fraud and deceit, the government function by which votes are collected and counted, a function in which the defendant as president had no official role. So he's saying he wasn't it technically wasn't the president so he doesn't have a new it was acting in a private situation

it's j anybody who votes democrat it you just for all this shit you put corruption your your you want to live in it do you read read it all? I can't even fucking. Anyhow. Again, I'm yelling at the wrong people. Fuck. I've got no memory.

But Trump blasted the Justice Department Wednesday evening. I think he did it on Truth Social. And I quote Mr. Trump. Where'd you get that one? That's fucking hilarious. He looks like the bully and karate kid is for 60 days this is Trump talking prior to an election the Department of Injustice is supposed to absolutely it says nothing do nothing that would taint or interfere

with a case Trump posted in all capital letters to his Truth Social. They disobeyed their own rule in favor of complete and total election interference. They're not supposed to do any of that. It's like he just said. I did nothing wrong. They did. They did. He continued.

You're out of order. The former president further blasted Democrats saying, they are weaponizing the Justice Department against me and they have been forever because they I know I am winning. Because they know I am winning and they are desperate to prop up their failing candidate, Kamala Douchebag Harris. I put that in for emphasis Trump said the unsailing of the smith filing which he called the latest hit job happened because his running mate senator

JD Vance and I've in quotes humiliated Harris's running mate Minnesota governor Tim Walz during Tuesday's Uh vice presidential debate Did he ever? Boy is he getting rave reviews. J.D. Vance. It's amazing. What's amazing is when America finally got to hear him, you know, I would say unfiltered in quotes during that debate all the people who've been saying horrible shit about him on MSNBC CBS NBC ABC all the usual suspects they were all going they couldn't help it it was such a such a one-sided debate they're like he was more prepared and and he was very perfect that's like blowing him coming from the far left.

Do you know what I'm saying? They couldn't say anything really negative. Do you know how hard that is? I'm sure there was some out there if you look hard enough. But he's, you know, they're like, and of course on the right, people like us are going, yeah, we knew that. The guy is super bright. Already people are going, he would make a great press and he would I mean

we still have a bench we get him in DeSantis and you know and you know Strom Thurman I don't know why I always go with Strom I just love the name so can you imagine they're trying to do that right before the debate? You should be able to imagine that because They hate this country. They can't get us out of the way fast enough I'm watching TV last night the fuck with me and the wife watching anyhow There was commercial in Spanish for like Verizon. They can't get us out of the way enough And by the way, I know I've told you this before, watch the series about Aaron Hernandez on FX. It's really friggin good.

When you really care about someone, you shout it from the mountaintops. So on behalf of Desjardins Insurance, I'm standing 20,000 feet above sea level to tell our clients that we really care about you. Home and auto insurance personalized to your needs. Weird, I don't remember saying that part. Visit Dejardin.com slash care and get insurance that's really big on care. Did I mention that we care? Israel irate.

That's the headline. A senior Israeli security official has urged Israel to take decisive action against Iran's leadership including supreme leader Ali Khomeini Ali Khomeini every time I hear that Sounds like Khomeini caught the tip of his dick in a zipper. What? Anyways, including Ali Khomeini, following the latest missile attack on Israel, they shot Israel with like a couple hundred missiles.

Let's not forget who started this shit. And I just heard someone on the radio said as a military guy said, Yeah, they they they initiated it. And that means Israel has the right to destroy them completely. It's that simple. Fucking Biden's doing everything to fucking to stop, you know, baby from distraught. don't understand what what what what am i missing here why why why is the democrat so in bed with i don't get it uh we at least with dick channing shit you know it was fucking oil and and and he was i think they were with israel we should expect who's calling me i doctor I can't see a message. Oh, it's not the eye doctor, it's mechanic.

We should expect to strike government centers and possibly eliminate figures like Khomeini, the official told the Jerusalem Post on Tuesday. Calling for a targeted response that includes Iran's military infrastructure and aircraft. The call for direct action comes in the wake of a massive aerial assault on Tuesday night when Iran launched 180 ballistic missiles towards Israel. Hates Jews. 180. People actually had umbrellas out.

Prompting rocket sirens across the country and sending residents scrambling for shelter against the wind. While Israel Air Defense intercepted dozens of rockets, significant damage occurred including a direct hit on a building in Tel Aviv, in a school in Gadara, where I was an all American, all Israel, all conference, all Gaza. The senior security official emphasized that Israel's response must be strategic and swift. Well, it always is. They're the best military in the world, thanks to us. Now, people who hate Israel I kind of see their, they're saying, and I actually said this to Manny Dwarman, again the guy who owned the Comedy Cellar, because he was steeped in

this, very brilliant about all the, and I said, why don't we let Israel's hands, we've been holding the hand which dragged us into this shit. But they need us for the fucking rockets. They, I mean a lot of this equipment is ours. So that's why Americans get pissed off. According to the official Iran Supreme leader, but I go okay but fucking we know there are enemies, the sand monkeys, let's melt them and then we'll take care of Israel and then

we'll be back on top. Like America should be. According to the official, Iran's supreme leader is not only behind the recent attacks, but also seeking to further destabilize the region by pursuing nuclear capabilities. Right now, they have a couple of popsicle sticks with gas. Khomeini wants a conventional attack and is seeking backing from nuclear weapons.

Israel must destroy Iran's nuclear sites now. That's what they want to do. They want to blow up the, and guess who's getting in the way? Who said they shouldn't? Fuckface Biden. First of all, why are we asking him about anything? Guys, right now he's got his underwear on back,

with yogurt all over his chest. The official also called for targeting Iran's economic infrastructure. In other words, wiping the fuck, and we've been talking about this forever. If you don't do it now, if you don't turn Iran into a parking lot now, you never fucking will. They gave you the perfect excuse. After neutralizing their nuclear capabilities, we must go after Iran's economy, which is $118 of fucking hummus, camel piss, and what?

Baklava. Baklava. I always think that's the head dress. That's a baklava. But you're talking about food, right? You see how I can confuse the two? I'm walking around with food on my head there'll be a good word scramble anybody wants to take me on by the way

words great you can't beat me my fucking wife thinks I should be on TV she'll fucking you know the four or five words I can do them in under a minute without looking at him she reads them to me it's really fucking creepy yet I can do them in under a minute without looking at him. She reads them to me. It's really fucking creepy yet I can't get it up anymore. Listen But but but but but this will demonstrate that Iran cannot act with impunity boy I don't know whoever said this but those were some tough Jews Well put Eight eight eight.

I'm not what. OK, what's first? Skankfest? Yeah. Oh, when I said, oh, I get it. Dallas video clips. I meant yours. Doesn't matter. Skankfest. Dallas happened to be. We'll get the Dallas's.

Look at that. It looks like she's nude and that's her shrubbery. Doesn't it? Oh, God, let's leave it up. You guys, this is Skankpa. I'll repeat, it's a comedy festival. This year it was in Vegas. That's what I saw when I walked in to get my pass and

all that shit. The important parts were organized, like getting your pass and shit, but the rest of it was so little. If I didn't show up for the shows I was scheduled on I don't think anybody would have cared it was so good I kind of liked it I gotta be honest and I think the brains behind Skankfest one of the as far as promoting it Luis Gomez who's that you know he's like an MMA guy in a comedian I walk in I see him in the ring he's got a cowboy hat on and like eyeliner and

Wrestling This is a comedy festival But it was I gotta tell you man Props to all the guys that pull this off and for having an old man like they've asked me for years and I finally said Yeah Okay, what else we got there? It's gross Now here comes an asshole on an escalator to announce he's running for president, but he grabs his cock

Pause one second. This is Dave Smith's live podcast. We did stand up, the people that were on the panel, the part we did stand up beforehand. I had the option of not doing it, but I was having such a good time. When I was young, I'd say yes to everything, but in the last 20 years, if it's anything extra, I'm like, fuck that. Let some young kid do it. Seriously, give them a a chance but I was having such a good time and I was on heroin This is a great show, right? I have liberal friends in New York who go, Nick, why are you so convinced the Jews run

Hollywood? Have you ever read the credits after a sitcom? It's like Schindler's List. Guy, I'm in front of the hotel. Don't be out of hungry, man. I'm fucking hungry. You see a chef stand on my head for a second? Supposed to whip you up a fucking pot of salad on the sidewalk, you fuck.

There's a pigeon over there with a loaf of bread, go bust his balls. That's what I'm saying. Do it better than you are, jerk-off. Nice attitude. That's what got me to the top. So that was Skankafest and had a great time there and thanks to all, whoever. Now while I was out there, the guy that just shot that me, Terry, was none other than our boy Dallas over here because he was in Nevada in the desert shooting, what were you shooting, Dallas? Tell us that. The show is called Surviving Man and it's about this guy, Seal, Don Mann,

who takes contestants through the paces of special operations and Seal training, both physical and mental. And every season he changes things up. There's an additional All-Star season that takes the best. Where does it air? Where does it air, do you know?

Pursuit TV. Pursuit TV. And so these are contestants, right? It's sort of like a competition? Correct. And then what they'll do is they'll gear the training and the operations very specifically to what the theme of the season is, which this All-Star season was focused on based on the Secret Service stuff they wanted to focus it on personal protection and EP executive protection and as a result they go through a lot of those specific training apparatuses including getting bagged and tagged they get actually abducted. Hold on a sec, before we go any further let me just say for those of you guys on Mug Club, stick around, can you see more? We got some good footage of Dallas was doing the camera work and directing and all the

other shit. We're going to show you that in a second. The rest of you that are on Mug Club, you got to go to nickdip.com and sign up for Mug Club. And if you do, you'll get this entire show, Steven Crowder's entire show and a whole lot more. And while you're at nickdib.com, click on the tour button at the top of my website. You'll see that I'll be, November 9th, I'll be in

Atomwa, Iowa at the Bridgeview Center Theater. That's on November 9th. Can't wait actually. I don't get excited about much, but that's going to be fun. Also later on the show I'll be telling you about the damning findings of a DHS report as far as the terror threat and how high it is. Thanks to letting all these assholes into the country. We'll be talking about that. Hi, good night everybody. Goodnight everybody! I'm gonna go wild, wild, wild Thanks for watching!