The Nick DiPaolo Show - Jerk-off Judges

Episode Date: November 22, 2018

Rotten Rulings From Retarded Judges, Angry Vaginas Silenced, Chik-fil-A gets F On Campus , Adventurer Assassinated By Savages.

Hi there, doo dee doo, made you a turkey, dum dum dum, happy Thanksgiving, la la la. This is heavy, doo doo doo, hope I don't drop it, dum dum dum, happy Thanksgiving, la la la. Look at that wishbone, doo doo doo, where'd it'd it come from, dum-dum-da-dum? Happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la. I feel scared, doo-doo-doo. I'm going home now, dum-dee-dum. Happy Thanksgiving, la-la-la. guitar solo Good afternoon, everybody. How are you? Happy Thanksgiving. A happy Thanksgiving to you.

Either a turkey or a giant rat chewing on another rat. I'm not sure. Good to be with you on Thanksgiving Eve. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425 is the phone number. Remember, no show tomorrow. Thanksgiving. But there will be a show on Friday, I do believe.

Well, I'm the fucking boss. If I say there is, there is. And let's be honest. A few Thanksgiving Day tips. I usually tweet these out, but as far as cooking a bird, to ensure a nice, moist, tender bird, remember the internal temperature should be about 68 degrees Fahrenheit.

Nice and pink inside, you know? That way your fat aunt will have the shits for a week and a half and stop talking about that diet and you'll impose it on her. And also, last year I couldn't find out how to stuff a bird properly and I went online on YouTube to look how to stuff. I couldn't. find out how to stuff a bird properly.

And I went online on YouTube to look how to stuff. I couldn't. They had how to cook a bird, how to cook everything. Stuffing. Couldn't find how to stuff it properly. So I went to YouPorn and I went to the fisting section. And, yeah. Worked out beautifully.

It's the same technique. Handful of breadcrumbs right up your boyfriend's ass. Get in there with him. And then he makes this sound. Is that good, Dave? Am I doing it right? Doing it like you like it. I've had some great Thanksgivings.

When I was younger, always getting beefs, always had a family right in front of friends and relatives at the table. True story. Probably tell this every Thanksgiving. My mother said, what do you want salad to me? And I said, what kind of lettuce is it? In that tone. And I didn't even get

the word lettuce finished and my father cracked me in the side of the head he was sitting like three seats away and blasted me one and i went fuck off and and my sister's father-in-law was laughing so hard he loved me mr bevin the late great day he was laughing so god damn hard at the whole incident and me having that spoiled what kind of lettuce is it he was crying he couldn't stop laughing my father rang my ears and uh

you know what happens the booze starts flowing you put out that shitty dip beforehand couple of fucking jack and gingers and the next thing you know you're getting all cocky and the old man wouldn't have any of it and I get into it

with somebody my uncle or somebody then my mother jumps in and I always get into it with my mother and my brother actually recorded this one this is me getting in a fight with my mother on Thanksgiving a couple years ago to the boss here maybe someone will smack some goddamn sense into him.

Great, my own mother. Fuck you, you fucking whore. Pass the stuffing, please. Oh, it got ugly. We play football on Thanksgiving in Massachusetts. I would play the morning game. Probably, I don't know if they do that anymore. It was a great tradition.

And yes, I was MVP my junior year of the, we play Gloucester, you know, the fisherman town. Every year we play them on Thanksgiving. And I returned a kick 88 yards, had about 11 tackles, was the MVP of the game. They had to blow the snow off of the helicopter off our field. Fucking nothing better than returning a kickoff on a snowy field. Man, felt great about it.

Then my senior year, we lost playing for the division championship up at Gloucester on the wall. Fog rolling in. We'd only lost two games that year. We win. We secure the division. We lose 3-0 on a muddy, shitty field up in Gloucester. Kid comes in and kicks a 40-yard field goal.

And windy, shitty. And he kicked it straight on like it was 1966. This is the 80s. There was no fucking soccer style. I kicked it soccer style. But Kid comes in like the kicker for the Broncos, Jim Turner in the 60s, comes in and fucking right down the middle. And we went home crying.

Didn't even eat that day. A little of some of my Thanksgiving stories for you. Yeah. Yeah. We also have a, one of my first bits as a comedian which got me what they call a signature bit was about Thanksgiving I've played this clip before

I think on this show I can't remember but it's me, this is when I first started I'm still an open micer, I've been doing it about a year circa 1988 89 at the original comedy connection in Boston and I did a guest set a 10 minute and they were filming that night and I used this tape and it got me it got me club work for the next three fucking years because it was a pretty murderous

set but this is me doing my Thanksgiving bit and listen for the Boston accent listen you can't even understand me when I came down to New York some of my jokes weren't working and people go, they don't know what you fucking say. Listen to the heavy Boston accent, but this was my first bit that people always quoted was the Thanksgiving bit. So you guys have a good

holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, sorry? No. How do you have a bad Thanksgiving? We had pigeon this year. Nice shirt, Fang. You read the article? They inject these turkeys with steroids now? Make them grow bigger? That trick is a chemical in us that makes us very drowsy. It's true. Did you look around your house after Thanksgiving dinner?

It looked like there was a gas leak in the living room. Nick, change of channel on the set. I can't, I'm paralyzed from the waist down. Why don't you stuff the turkey with thorough seed for Christ's sake? Face down on the sofa. He passed out face down on the sofa for like eight hours, right? Somebody else dessert. You sit up, you get a string of drool going from the aquarium all to the coffee table.

Your nieces and nephews are playing limbo under it. They're like, hey. My father's in the recliner. He's actually moving furniture out of the kitchen. My mother's a great cook, totally. For some reason,

she feels she has to tie the legs up in a turkey like it's an escape artist or something. Things have been dead for three weeks. It's a butterball. My Houdini, take the shackles off it, will you? It's like we're eating a hostage over here. All right, that's it. Why would you adjust the fucking...

It's all footage, guys. That was also, if it wasn't clear clear why would you play with a camera was i out of focus yeah camera one went out of focus right before oh it did yes we used that time that's it i'm getting a couple of fucking filipino girls in here in the late teens anyways love thanksgiving can't wait already made the stuffing that's right i do the cooking boy do i look tired and heavy what uh real quick dates not this weekend but next weekend friday november 30th and december 1st which is saturday the corner comedy club niagara falls ont Ontario, Canada. Saturday, December 22nd, the Comedy Works, Saratoga Springs, New York. Monday, December 31st, New Year's Eve, Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York. Saturday, January 12th, Fairfield Theatre Company, Fairfield, Connecticut.

Saturday, January 19th, Bobby B's, Windsor Locks, Connecticut. Sundays, January 27th, the Ventura Harbor Comedy Club, Ventura, California. Friday, March 8th, Wood Theatre, Glens Falls, New York. Saturday, March 9th, Cohoes Hall, Cohoes, New York. Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Saturday, October 19th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Also today, it's not on here, I added one, Newtown Theater in Newtown, Pennsylvania on August 10th.

I don't know what night that is, but I just added that. So go to nickdip.com for ticket information. Let's go to Mike in Cambridge. Not a big fan of Thanksgiving. Mike, what's up? What's going on, Nick? Hey, don't forget, we're doing Topeka, Kansas on the 15th, and then we're going to go over to the Westboro Church.

We're doing that the 16th. Okay. On the 17th, we are going to be at the Westboro church with Maggie. No, no, I'm just giving you shit. Uh, you have a fucking Cambridge ass.

I mean, it's like you, you, you like, I'm really from Cambridge. I'm from, I'm from Massachusetts. Well,

yeah. Last time I, last time I checked Cambridge was in Massachusetts, Mike. Well, you know, Harvard. Harvard? Yeah, Harvard might as well be fucking Arizona State at this point. But I'm just saying, I love you, Nick.

I've listened to you my whole entire life my entire life like i you know i'm i'm i'm 30 years old i i've i've i you know between stern uh uh you know uh anything with already you know just i'm a big fan thank you sir my my. My, my, I, and I love you. Yeah. By the way. Go ahead. No, no, no. There's no, but.

Oh, I love you. I wanted, I wanted, I wanted to see if, you know, we could, we could go down to the common and hold hands when you come to Boston. Absolutely. Absolutely. We'll get a duck. I'm being an asshole. I'll be a gay fag.

All right. Anyway, as opposed to those straight fags, I'll tell you. No, those straight fags, you know, they don't know what they're doing. Yeah. They work in here for me. They don't know which way to lean. They don't know. They don't know which way to lean left or right.

Anything else, Mike? No, I just want to say I love you. All right, brother. Appreciate it, Mike from Cambridge. Thanks, Mike. The minute I saw Cambridge and it said, fuck Thanksgiving, I thought it was a guy from Cambridge who would obviously hate the holiday because he was so bad to those savages.

Sort of like the ones that shot a fucking American tourist. We'll get to that in a few minutes with bow and arrows. But he had it coming, in my opinion. I love stories like that. It makes me proud I lay on the couch and eat Cheez-Its and watch TV. I love stories where people get buried skiing in an avalanche. You know, these people jump out of a helicopter and then they get buried in an avalanche.

And I'm laying there going, Oh, I'm glad I'm lazy and I hate to travel. Look at this poor prick. They get three St. Bernardists trying to find him on the 70 feet of snow. And, you know, people getting shot with bows and arrows. That could have happened in downtown Detroit. You didn't have to go to India to some remote

fucking island. Nick, what do you mean by that? You know what I fucking mean by that. Hell no! Let's move on, huh? I think we played up Thanksgiving pretty nicely. 833-599-6425. What do we got here? I didn't get to this last night, but Obama trashes Trump.

Confused, blonde, shrouded with hate, mummy issue. Former President Obama took more of, it sounds so good when you say former, because he was such a piece of garbage, took more veiled shots at his successor Monday night, suggesting that the reason the U.S. is not taking more direct action against

climate change is because of hate, anger, racism, mummy. That's his answer to everything. And the reason the United States doesn't do anything right because of anger and racism. Most of the anger comes from the inner cities, I notice. Most of the knockout games, most of the rapes and killings

in Chicago on the weekend have nothing to do with white racism, but this jerk-off who's from Chicago wouldn't tell you that. Anyways. Obama appeared at the Obama Foundation Summit in chicago i wonder how many kids died while he was speaking uh where author dave eggers interviewed him about ways to mobilize americans toward creating social change here's how you do it you stay in your couch

mind your fucking business how about that let trump Let Trump run it. He's in control. When the topic of global warming came up, Obama's criticism was particularly pointed. And here he is, the Marxist guy who's never run a business in his life or a lemonade stand. We are still confused, blind, shrouded with hate, anger, racism, mommy issues. You stupid fucking blabbermouth cunt! Racism. It's just on its head. Yeah, we're still blinded by anger racism um we have the lowest we have the best economy in the history of the united states we uh we crushed isis under this new president he actually met with a head of uh north korea doing shit that i couldn't do because

i was too focused on uh white racism uh old white people who just can't, the world's changing too fast for them. And mommy issues. You're the one wearing your mother-in-law's fucking jeans and riding a bike with a helmet. Speaking about mommy issues, you fucking panty waist. I like him with a gray hair. By the way, best dressed president ever. He's got the fucking, you know, he's got the physique for it. And he wore the right clothes.

I'll give him that much. But an empty suit under it. And just mommy issue, racism, and that's how he sees the United States. Meanwhile, more people are working ever. But that's what he's focused on. He's embarrassed that Trump's been able to accomplish that much in two years. This guy's GDP never broke 3%, first president in the history, and he ran up more debt than all the presidents combined.

But you keep yapping away and telling the world how bad we're doing. And as far as climate change, you big cheese dick, go talk to the Chinese. They're the ones who are fucking burning tires on a Sunday morning for fun. All right? All right? And by the way, every president up to you after they left the White House

kept their mouth shut for a year or two. Gave the guy who succeeded him a fucking, you know, a grace period. But not Obama. Still can't believe that crusty old white billionaire billionaire blonde hair and blue eyes is running the country oh it sticks in his craw not to mention when he was president the democrat party was decimated lost a total of over a thousand legislative seats at all levels of government so get out there and back those campaign blue wave i understand big blue fucking wave you get out there though he actually endorsed uh ocasio-cortez who can't name the three branches

of government though but you guys keep pushing you keep pointing the finger and bigot racist and wah wah wah wah wah wah wah mommy issues, wah, wah, wah, wah. Mommy issues? At least he knows whose mommy is. Oh, you do too. That's right, you had a white mommy. Talk about mommy issues. A black guy with a white mom, that is an issue. Anyhow, good to see him out there.

Before the election, Obama attacked trump for immigrant children in pens he also mocked by the way they were in pens when he was fucking doing it he also mocked the trump administration over robert muller's indictments boasting listen to this he actually said this in quotes nobody in my administration got indicted no because they're the ones who have you had the fucking deep state of course they didn't get indicted you're up they're all part of your plan to spy on trump's campaign this has all been proven they're not going to indict themselves oh my god fucking breathlessly shameless in another campaign rally he suggested trump is fanning forces of anger as opposed to fucking Ferguson and Baltimore.

And how many riots do we have when you were president? Everything was as calm as Utah when you were the president. Am I making good points here? Yes, I am. Did I have to look any of it up? No, I didn't. This guy's like fucking boxing with Stephen Hawking. I'm out pointing him.

boxing with Stephen Hawking. I'm outpointing him. Another campaign, right? She suggested Trump is fanning the forces of anger. Oh, what a fucking cheese dick. Anyways. Look at that beautiful rug that just came in. Actually, it was rolled up in a tube.

I was too unlazy to unpack it a week ago. I didn't know what was in it. Thought it was a giant tampon for the wife. Boop! Let's go to Drew in Virginia. Drew, welcome to the show. How's your onion? All right.

Hey, Nick, what's going on, man? Yeah, just Obama talking about mommy issues. He's the one to talk about mommy issues. I mean, maybe he's the guy, you know, two different fathers, you know, both Muslim fathers, you know. He didn't have exactly the Brady Bunch family growing up either. No. I don't know what he's talking about. And everything is racism with him when he you know he comes back with everything you know racist you know it's all racist right okay bullshit yeah no it's uh that's how he sees

the country he hates how it was founded so so does his fucking wife and anybody votes that way and thinks he's a hero and you're right he. He had a fucked up childhood. And the last time I checked, it wasn't Trump doing coke in college and smoking weed. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I even did a little myself. But I'm not a fucking ex-president shitting on the other president. So yeah, I don't know what he's talking

about. He really is a fucking... I don't know. I'd like him if I met him. Like I said, I'd like to play basketball with him. He'd go in for a layup. This is my fantasy. I'd cut his legs out and land on his head. Anyways, thanks, Drew. Nick, that's horrible. That's horrible.

Why are you guys playing with the fucking volume on the calls? It was fine. Ryan, did you take it? It just spiked. By itself? Yeah, so then we pulled it all the way down. Yeah, then you went too far. Do you know how to do it just spiked by itself yeah so then we pulled it all the way down

yeah then you went too far do you know how to do it just a little you have the just a little wasn't doing anything I will tell you that

you cheese dick man these glasses are fucking horrendously dirty you should never masturbate wearing glasses you know I tell you

look like Ben Franklin in the dark with my glasses on at the tip of my anyhow anyhow let's take another call that calls are actually good today

Matthew in Texas on line one. Matthew, what's going on, fella? Nothing much, though. I guess listening to your show. Yeah. Anything you'd like to add to the show, Matthew? I'm your youngest fan.

How old are you, Matthew? 14. You're 14? Oh, my God. Have you ever heard of Jerry Sandusky? No. Well, you should meet him. He's a nice guy, and you'll see him a lot of times.

He's got a trench coat. He used to be a football coach, and he carries a box of candy for the kids. I think you'd really... Matthew, when you get off uh, Jerry Sandusky. All right. Uh, anything you want to add? I should have find them. Anything else? Uh, I appreciate, uh, everything you do. Thank you. I appreciate having a fan at the age of 14 because I have fans in their 70s, and I don't know how the networks can't see what a wide scope of demographic I have.

That's the key demo from 14 to 78, I believe. So I'm glad you called the show, and I want you to call back, all right? All right. I have to get off now in case you got it, buddy. In case, what's that dating show they bust up to catch a predator yeah what's his name i can't even chris hansen shows up yeah chris hansen anyways anyhow 14 years old and he's uh i don't know are we all right sound wise i don't know if it's my headset that's loud i don't know if it all right sound wise i don't know if it's my headset that's loud

i don't know if it's the mic your headphones are a little loud all right why though why why why they're not the same as they were because you like it that way no no no no they're louder than they were yesterday i'll turn them down just a tiny bit how's that just a smidgen i i can't tell just a little more uh right there i guess that. That's fine. I'm very particular. Let's move on, will ya? I'm killing my own show here. The theme of the show is judges who just can't

make a fucking judgment, ironically. A judge dismisses female genital mutilation charges in that's right, female genital mutilation charges in, uh, that's right. Female genital mutilation. Apparently they did it to her. She was falling off the operating table in a major blow to the federal

government. A judge in Detroit has declared America's female genital mutilation law unconstitutional, thereby dismissing the key charges against two Michigan doctors, I'm guessing Muslims, and six others accused of subjecting at least nine minor girls to the cutting procedure in the nation's first FGM case. That would be female genital mutilation. The historic cases involved minor girls from Michigan.

As you know, Michigan has a big Muslim population. Illinois and Minnesota, which has a big Somali population, including some who cried, talking about the young girls, screamed and bled during the procedure, and one who was given Valium ground into liquid Tylenol, I like to try that myself, to keep her calm. This is what records show. The judge's ruling also dismissed charges against three mothers,

including two Minnesota women, whom prosecutors said tricked their seven-year-old daughters into thinking they were coming to Metro Detroit for a girls' weekend, but instead had their genitals cut at a Labonia clinic. Holy shit, I did comedy in Labonia. I think I did comedy at this clinic. As part of a religious procedure. Listen, U.S. District Judge,

remember this guy's name so you can write him angry letters, Bernard Friedman, concluded that as despicable as this practice may be, Congress did not have the authority to pass the 22-year-old federal law that criminalizes female genital mutilation and that FGM is for the states to regulate. FGM is, I thought we could agree at any level it would be wrong. And there's the shithead egghead. FGM is banned worldwide and has been outlawed in more than 30 countries, though the U.S. statute had never been tested before this case.

Hey, Jace, it's still a little loud. It just sounds a little distorted to me in my own headset. Right there, let's try that. I don't know. I don't know why anybody's touching anything. That's fine. As laudable as the prohibition of a particular type of abuse of girls may be, federalism concerns deprive Congress of the

power. In other words, federalism is all the powers. They automatically go to the states. The ones that the feds have no power. That's federalism. Anything that the feds can't cover is covered by the states, basically.

Congress, he says, overstepped its bounds by legislating to prohibit fgm fgm is a local criminal activity which in keeping oh in that case cut off my sister's labia uh in keeping with long-standing tradition and our federal system of government is for the states to regulate not congress see what happens with the law all common common sense gets thrown right the fuck out. Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating? Currently, 27 states

have laws that criminalize FGM, including Michigan. Okay. So it's covered at the state whose FGM law is stiffer than a federal statute. Punishable up to 15 years in prison compared with only five years under the federal law. So this goes on a lot. And, you know, again, multiculturalism.

Yeah, let's bring in those people that are from countries where they, you know, use a girl's vagina as an ashtray when she's six. Cut a clitoris off with a clamming knife. Let's have a fucking party. What kind of sickos? Friedman's ruling stems from a request by Dr. Jumana Nagawala, a witch doctor

out of, no, in her co-defendants to dismiss the general mutilation charges, claiming in law they are being prosecuted under unconstitutional. The defendants are all members of a small Indian Muslim sect known as the Dawoodi Bower, which has a mosque in Farmington Hills. The sect practices female circumcision and believes it is a religious rite of passage that involves only a minor nick, meaning me when I was 14.

Hello, everybody. a minor Nick. Meaning me when I was 14. Hello, everybody. They also argue that they didn't actually practice FGM, but rather performed a benign procedure involving no cutting. What did it involve? Rubbing? Burning?

What did you use? An X-Acto knife? For FGM survivor and social activist Maria Tahir, who heads a campaign out of Cambridge Mass to ban FGM survivor and social activist Maria Tahir, who heads a campaign out of Cambridge, Mass., to ban FGM worldwide, Friedman's ruling was a punch to the gut and the vagina. Oh my God, this is crazy, said Tahir, stressing she fears the ruling will put more young women in harm's way.

She was subjected to this when she was seven years old, okay? This is a violation of one person's human rights. It's a form of gender violence. I happen to agree with that. This is cultural violence. But again, the left will tell you all cultures are equal.

Who are we to judge? This is where the feminists get caught because this is definitely anti-female doing this procedure. Yet, because they're lefties,

they can't go, we know better, us Americans. So they're lefties, they can't go, we know better, us Americans. So they're caught between a hard place and a dildo. You know what I'm saying? She says, it says you are not important, Hassan said, calling the ruling a federal blessing for FGM. Freeman's ruling also drew the ire of Senator Rick Jones,

Republican at Grand Ledge. And he said, I'm angry that the federal judge dismissed this horrific case that affected upwards of 100 girls who were brutally victimized and attacked against their will. Again, multiculturalism. You come here, some shit is not acceptable. Blah. you come here,

some shit is not acceptable. I want to listen to the end product because I sound... I don't know if you guys hear the end product. Yeah, we're hearing it. We're trying to figure out what's going on. It does sound a little rough to you two? Just a bit, yeah. We've been turning it down a bit.

All right, that might be it. That might be the answer. I don't know. Anyhow. Bobby Gary in Idaho. Female, genital mutilation equal. No, no, no. Would like to see the case go to the Supreme Court. First time watcher introduced by Owen Benjamin's bear. Very good. Bobby, let's go to Bobby.

Bobby, thanks for calling into the show. How are you? I am good. I actually just got introduced to you today. This is my first show I've seen of yours. I'm liking it. It's a very interesting show. We start off with Happy Thanksgiving, How to Stuff a Turkey

right till female genital mutilation, which happens a lot. We get drunk thanksgiving my house uh... depending on the age well this issue infuriates me like shaking great i have two daughters and if you have it in any other situation ever were one of the some someone did this to them it would be a a criminal prosecution and i just it just infuriates me that the leftist feminist wing is going,

yep, we're okay with these women being brutalized and then having no sexual pleasure or severely reduced for the rest of their lives. It's like, what? It goes against every other part of their platform, which is also gross. I'm sure somewhere they've spoken out against it, I'm sure, but, you know, like you said, not loudly enough. And a lot, what's ironic is, what's that name? What's that woman, Linda Sassour?

She's the... Linda Sassour. Yeah, Sassour. She's from countries where they do this, and she's a real America hater and a real pro-feminist psycho. And I'd like to hear from her. Maybe we'll hear from her on TV tonight. But the judges,

and I understand, the guy's going by the letter of the law, but at some point, don't we have to go, what the fuck? How about some common sense? How is this right? Well, it's just the same as their hypocrisy about the Me Too movement, but then if you have any Democrat figure

that's beating his wife or any of that, they won't cover that, and they won't talk about that. So it's the same thing. You can victimize women as long as it's on our side, and it benefits what we're pushing. Yeah. And it's absolutely awful. Yeah. And I mean, how about the fucking poor guys, these kids?

They get with a girl who had an FGM when she was a kid. You can never... You're trying to make her comments ridiculously hard. Well, and us women, the ones who want to stand up for women's rights, we want to stand up to keep the orgasm. I'm just saying. Yes. For every woman.

That should be the T-shirt, Bobby. Keep the orgasm. Kick out the extremist Muslims. I'll make them. Hey, can I do a quick shout-out to out the extremist Muslims. I'll make them. Hey, can I do a quick shout out to all the bears? Absolutely. Hi to all the bears out there. Absolutely.

All right, Bobby, I'm glad you called and continue and keep supporting both of us. Oh, I'm going to subscribe right now. I've never heard of your channel before. I love it. Well, so I appreciate it. And I've never heard of your channel before. I love it. So I appreciate it. I appreciate those guys sending you over here. So call again, will you?

I will. Have a good holiday. You too, Bob. Keep the orgasm. I'm all for that. I'm trying to scroll here, and there's a caller down below. I can't see. I'll shrink this.

But, yeah, I mean, can't we all agree that then they have to change it? I'm sure what the judge is stating is true legally, but can somebody change it, please? That's a barbaric. It sounds barbaric to do that to a young girl. You know? Because sex is bad over there in some of those countries, unless you're doing it with a goat or a young boy.

And I'm not kidding you. In the Middle East. Did you see that fucking video? Did we play it of the guys banging the goat? We did a while ago. I couldn't remember if we played that clip or it happened to me at a fraternity. I was very confused. Let's stay on bad judges

and their horrible decisions. And again, I know he's going by the law but common sense this one got me so god damn pissed folks couple years ago this beautiful girl is jogging I want to say it was in Staten Island and she's murdered

by this black kid allegedly the trial of a Brooklyn man charged with sexually assaulting and killing Queens jogger Katrina Vetrano two years ago ended in a hung jury last night after just over a day and a half of deliberations. Chanel Lewis, 22, of East New York, which is the roughest part of New York City that you can find,

was accused of attacking Petrano near her Howard Beach home and dumping her body in weeds near a jogging path in August of 2016. There's something wrong with the black man's mind! There's something wrong with his mind! In a note to Judge

Michael Eloise in Queens Supreme Court, the jury wrote after deliberating for the entire day, we are split. It doesn't seem like we can make progress. We feel that we have exhausted all of our options. There have been a total of only 13 hours of deliberation over two days after a court case in which the panel had been presented DNA evidence. I'll repeat, presented DNA evidence linking Lewis to the crime scene in a recording

of Lewis confessing. So they have DNA and a recording of him confessing. Because of the impasse, Lewis' attorney moved for a mistrial and unexpectedly Eloise granted it.

Fucking judge. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I'm inclined to agree with the defense motion, even though it's only been a day and a half. There were extensive deliberations. They covered issues central to the debate. He then wished jurors a happy holiday and dismissed them because he wanted to get home for turkey. I'm just going to go out on a limb here and I can take heat for this or not. I don't know the racial makeup of the jury, but I've been saying this for the last 20 years. makeup of the jury, but I've been saying this for the last 20 years. If it's a racial case, if the

alleged suspect the defendant is black and is a black on the jury, there's a good chance there's going to be a mistrial or a hung jury. Nick, that sounds kind of, I don't give a shit.

I don't care. You know the history of this country. And they can't put the bitterness behind them. And I really believe they can't be objective. Not all black people. Because obviously there's been trials where that didn't happen. But I'm saying, I'm guessing. I don't even know the racial makeup.

But I'm saying that's not a real leap for me to say that. The seven woman, five five-man jury, why don't you tell us what the fucking racial makeup is? That tells you right there. Deliberated for one hour Monday afternoon and then 12 on Tuesday, and I could be wrong, before declaring themselves deadlocked a little before 9.30 p.m.

Prosecutors said Tuesday night they will retry Lewis. He's expected to be back in court January 22nd and will continue to be remanded. During the two-week trial, jurors heard in graphic detail, listen to this, how the young woman was beaten, strangled, and sexually abused, allegedly at the hands of Lewis, when she went out for a run near the family's home. This isn't the Idaho one, either. Prosecutors described him as a violent loner and an outcast who purposefully attacked Vetrano.

They played a videotaped confession by Lewis and said his DNA was found on the neck of the 30-year-old victim, under her fingernails, and on her cell phone. Lewis' team argued that he made a false confession after a tough police interrogation. Of course.

You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. In the confession, he claimed he got angry at Vetrano when she tried to fight him off in the remote green space. And he admitted repeatedly punching her and dragging her to the tall grass near the jogging path. And then he says there, and this is in quotes, I finished her off, Lewis told the cops. Oh yeah, the cops must have really been putting the pressure on him for him to say that.

But Trano died of strangulation. I was beating her and was madder, Lewis said. And this, you got his confession, you got his DNA, and that's not enough to convict this fucking human piece of garbage. So do you think there's something that might be fucked up about the legal system? And again, I would really like to know the racial makeup.

It only takes, well, it's not fair to just say it might have been a black, white liberal. Un-fucking-believable. He got mad at her because she wouldn't lay there and let him rape her. And the sad part of this whole story,

her body was found face down among the weeds by her retired firefighter dad. He said, the dad said, I let out the sound that I've never made before or since, Phil Vetrano said, testifying. It was a whale. I screamed, my baby, my baby. Defense attorney Moeller argued in his closing that Phil Vetrano, listen to this, tainted the crime

scene when he arrived there and cradled his daughter's body after discovering. Yeah, he should have stood 10 feet away, I guess, and call the car. Fucking lawyers, scum. Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! At that point, the crime scene became corrupt, he said. Let me ask you a question defense attorney muller at what point did you become corrupt that's my question at what point in your life did you become morally corrupt how do you fucking sleep at night honestly muller also said prosecutors rushed to charge lew Lewis and got a false confession out of him but what else could he say

eventually he broke down he knew what they wanted to hear and that's what he did Mola said about Lewis during the trial he told them what they wanted to hear even if that was true that doesn't explain away the fucking DNA on her neck or under her nails does it

I mean we got a serious fucking problem in this country. I hope Mr. Vetrano takes care of this on his own. That's all I'm saying. If that was my daughter, spend the rest of my life. But he's going to be

retried in January. But again, I'd like to know the racial makeup of the... Nick, why does that even shut the fuck up? That's my answer to that. 833-599-6425. 3-5-9-9-6-4-2-5. Ugh. A confession on videotape.

DNA. But we're not sure. We've been deliberating. Oh, man. Does it make me fucking crazy crazy you've got to get mad you've got to say I'm a human being god damn it my life has value I'm as mad as hell

and I'm not going to take this anymore you guys see this video this Mexican wrestler rules have always been a little looser anymore! You guys see this video? It's Mexican wrestling. Rules have always been a little looser in Mexican professional wrestling. But this was a brick too far. First of all, it wasn't a brick. It was a

cement cinder block. Puerto Rican star Cuervo the Raven was knocked unconscious and reportedly had his skull fractured after being blindsided by an antifa, no, being blindsided by a brutal blow to the back of his head

in a match against Angelo o Demonio Angel or Demon is what that is in English at the Lucha Libre Boom Show Anybody ever been to the Lucha Libre Boom Show. Anybody ever been to the Lucha Libre Boom Show? Anybody?

Guys, now I can't hear myself. Please, right there. Did you touch it again? We turned down a bit, so it sounds good on the output. All right. But, I mean, I got to be able to hear myself. That's good. I don't know what the problem is today, folks.

I was just praising Jay. It's not Jay's fault. I don't know what the problem is today, folks. I was just praising Jay. It's not Jay's fault. I was telling my wife what a fucking genius Jay is to figure all the... I was laying on the couch last night thinking how stuff is working just the way he said it would. Guy is... I don't think he realizes how smart he is.

Here's the video. I thought wrestling was fake, but it's not in Mexico, apparently. That's the real... What are you doing? Go back. Freeze frame it. That's what he hit him with. Play it again watch this

that guy is out like a light and not a badass I might add I said that for Ryan I know he's thinking imagine that a cinder block off the back of his fucking head I might add. I said that for Ryan. I know he's thinking. Imagine that. A cinder block off the back of his fucking head. We just washed the hair.

You know, I work on my hair a long time and you hit it. He hits my hair. With a cinder block. Oh my God. The death match was immediately called off Angelo Demonio jumped out of the ring

to check on his fallen rival but was ordered away by a doctor Cuervo was rushed to the hospital where surgeons operated to remove a blood clot it was an epidural hematoma and he had a skull fracture and he's now going to be working for Ocasio-Cortez.

A promoter of the show announced he had surgery to drain the clot. He is out of danger. He's in intensive care and is responding as satisfactorily. Angelo Demonio. What's he, an Irish devil? Said he was aiming for Quavo's back, but did not have the,

didn't have the accuracy. Angelo Demonio has been suspended indefinitely by the boxing and wrestling commission of the state of Mexico and has been widely condemned. WWE legend, Kurt Angle wrote, give me 10 seconds with that stupid motherfucker that threw that brick. Shouldn't be anywhere near the business. First of all, quit calling it a brick.

All the people on the planet know the difference between a cinder block and a brick. It would be Mexican guys. That's a good point, Nick. I know, I'm a fucking genius. Nobody's noticing. I like this question by Frank from Beth Page. How long do you think it's going to be before people start determining what rules they're going to follow and what they aren't?

I think that shit's already started, Frank, just like the government is doing. And that's, that is such a good point. When I watch the news every night, well, it started with the Hillary thing. I'm like, why is she still walking around? And, uh, I've said it on the show before. I actually encourage people when, when, uh, what's the specific example I use where people get away with shit? Well, illegals breaking in and not going to jail. So I said on the show many times, I was telling you people who pay taxes, law-abiding citizens, start shoplifting, steal fucking cars, because apparently there's fucking rules and regulations and laws for one segment of the population, not the other. So I'm trying to encourage lawlessness amongst my fans. Frank, your thoughts.

There's another thing, Nick, that I just saw. I can't remember what town it was in, but they had a sheriff on TV, and he says, you know what? He says, I'm going to be a sanctuary city for gun laws. We are not enforcing federal gun laws in this town. So if you want to carry a gun, come here. This is only the beginning. It's going to get a lot worse. People are going to, you know, you're going to have a lot of municipalities are not going to comply because they see that the federal government's picking and choosing.

You're at my, my, my buddy said that who was a cop for 30 years and my, and now he's a lawyer. He said that. And, and, and that's a specific case I was thinking about too. When he said, when the law starts giving the finger to the law, that's when it all unravels. when he said when the law starts giving the finger to the law that's when it all unravels and that's exactly right the fucking you know when people are deciding what law what laws they're gonna fucking enforce what laws they're not you know what what what if some state says all right i'm gonna fucking uh make handguns legal you know whatever you carry and conceal everybody can do it you know you're absolutely right, Frank. It's fucking... To answer your question, very soon,

I believe people are going to start choosing what laws they do and don't follow. I believe it myself, especially if we don't stop this immigration coming through the border. I think it's going to be that people are going to feel that they have to defend themselves. They can't count on the government to do it any longer. They should feel like that already. They should have felt like that 20 years ago.

I mean, the government hasn't protected us on that border forever, and Trump's trying to do something about it. He's being made out to be an asshole and a racist and a bigot. And I love that, you know, because a lot of this trash coming over the border, I love, I can't wait until Nancy Pelosi knows somebody who gets, you know, whatever, these sanctuary cities. Eventually it's going to hit home is what I'm saying. One of these politicians is going to lose a relative,

and then they might think twice about it. What about the shooting in California? There were six off-duty police officers in that restaurant that weren't allowed to carry their guns. Where is the outcry? Where's the lawsuits? They could have protected themselves and those other patrons and that and that that's that sergeant that was killed but because of these gumballs they weren't allowed to carry that's that's that's not right it's silly it's fucking silly look what's going on in London where

they have no cops have no guns fucking people being stabbed at a rate like a eight now it would have the world's come apart frank thank you for the call man i appreciate it take it easy all right i'm telling you what do you think happened today with the sangha because i'm uh i mean i sound all right now but i have to really eat the mic but uh maybe it was the what's that a super A super chat? All right, good. So Patrick Dorr says, in regard to jurors, why do we need legal reasoning from justices for their decisions

if the public isn't subject to the same information from the jurors? They should be made to record it as well. I can't even follow that. I don't know if it's your reading or his writing.

It's probably my spacing of the reading, so... It really is. You have this weird rhythm yeah because i'm very uh go ahead real slow again in regard to jurors why is it we need legal reasoning from the justices for their decisions yet the public isn't subject to the same information from the jurors they should be made to record it as well the public isn't subjected to the same information it's like two different arguments going on there.

But I get what he says. I say get rid of the jury system. And I suggested this before and used like retired judges or whatever, like three of them. God, this sound is driving me nuts, guys. It's getting fucking worse. Turn it back up, please. Where I can hear it. Right there.

Leave it there. I don't care what it sounds like on the... That's how it has to be, because I don't want to touch my lips to this mic. I know where my mouth has been. But I see what he's saying, and I do a bit about it. I do a bit about it. How about you're on the jury,

and you've got four lawyers, and they have like a thousand years of education amongst them, and it's like, you know, gee, I wonder if they can confuse the 78 year old plumber from Jamaica Plains. Yeah. You know, but then I suggested using retired judges and somebody said,

that's even crazier. And I think it was a lawyer that was explaining to me, whatever. I like star chamber, that movie, do it like that. Anyhow, how'd we get off topic when Cuervo had his head

knocked unconscious excuse me actually even California this is a new story says Trump is right about the wildfires. Of course he is. You are correct, sir.

Trump critics are belittling him for not buying the lefty narrative that global warming is to blame for the California wildfires. Instead, Trump points to decades of mistakes by government agencies that caused the woodlands to become overly dense and blanketed with highly flammable dead wood and underbrush. And even, I said this on a show a couple days ago, because I read an article, the guys, the head of the forestry management out there actually agreed. Just ask California officials. Two months ago, the state legislator enacted a measure that would expedite the removal of dead trees

and use prescribed burns, that's when you burn the forest intentionally controlled that is to thin the forest in other words the very same reforms that president trump is being marked for proposing that uh these officials say he's right the september law followed a governor jerry brown executive order earlier this year that also called for control fires to improve forest health. Little too late. Little too little too late, Jerry. See, under Bill Clinton, he passed all these things to protect the fucking spotted owl and the short illegal alien and the...

All this shit. And they couldn't log and they couldn't do those burns. Seriously, out of protecting trees and certain wildlife. And even the fucking heads of forest management said, we knew when those were passed that we were going to have problems later on. And what happens now, it's people building houses in places where they shouldn't be. It's a combination. But it's not...

Global warming has a little to do with it. But so does some guy throwing a cigarette out into a very dry bush. That sounded wrong. Let's say you're the broad in the late 70s. He hasn't shaved down there. You're smoking a camel. You get nervous, you flick it. Next thing you know, 4,500 square acres. Let's say you're the broad in the late 70s. He hasn't shaved down there. You're smoking a camel.

You get nervous, you flick it. Next thing you know, 4,500 square acres in Northern California. That's right, we used her shrub as kindling. University of California forest expert, Yana Velikovic, conceded in a Washington Post interview that Trump's general sentiment is correct that we need to manage fuels

that is to get rid of dangerous buildups of dead and dying trees sort of the same way we should get rid of buildups of dead and dying congressmen you know let's thin out that herd for a century dead and dying congressman. You know? Let's thin out that herd. For a century, force mismanagement has resulted in huge blazes.

And while global warming is the favorite culprit among the PC crowd, history shows that California suffered far bigger fires 10 years ago. And more. So once again, everybody can jump down Trump throat because the he's the adult in the room and some scientists put significant blame for the fires on mistaken policies by state and federal forest agencies earlier this year a bipartisan state panel the little hoover commission reported that for more than a century, state and federal forest managers

have mistakenly put out small fires instead of allowing them to burn naturally to rid woodlands of dense underbrush and deadwood. The Little Hoover panel condemned this century of fire suppression. In the 90s, Clinton imposed limits on timber harvesting to protect the spotted owl. Of course.

What the fuck's so special about a... I hate a fucking bird with freckles or a person. Timber harvest fell by 80% and new road building in Federal Forest ground to a halt. You know why that's bad? When you build a road, it acts as a natural barrier when there's a fire. So they made all the wrong calls,

but they weren't thinking about it back then. Again, if you want a liberal to vote for you, protect the spotted owl. Then you add to that the drought that began in 2012 out in California and all the other shit. It was a kindling waiting to take off, and boom, here we are.

But again, Trump mentions that and gets all kinds of guff, because he won't join in with the rest of the fucking idiots. Now the PC police have come for the vagina monologues. I'll repeat that. What are we like when libs start eating libs in this case, literally? The PC police are after the vagina monologues.

My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Well, clear some of that deadwood. That brush. The vagina monologues wants a cutting edge cry off. Well, clear some of that deadwood, that brush. The Vagina Monologues, once a cutting-edge cry of feminist liberation, in your

fucking opinion. I always thought it was just fucking angry broads who were so ugly nobody would stick a thumb in them. Back to the show. Um, anyways, Vagina Monologues is headed to the campus for forbidden zone because it excludes women who don't have what? Vaginas.

Only in 2018, in this fucked up country, fucked up by you-know-who, that I would read a sentence, women without vaginas. Ryan, who are they talking about? You're sort of an expert on this. I'm sorry. I'm confused.

I'm confused too. Look in your pants. It'll clear it right up. No, don't do that. Well, I'm guessing what they're saying is, you know, a guy identifies as a woman, so he doesn't have a vagina. Is that where we're at? Please, somebody

put a gun in my fucking mouth tonight. Shaped like a cack. Seriously, the Women's Resource Center at Eastern Michigan. Why is it always Michigan University? Whether it's Michigan State or University of Michigan, what the fuck's going on in Michigan?

Just start production of Eve Ensler's 1994 play for its lack of trans sensitivity, as well as supposed overall lack of diversity and inclusion. I can't hear these words anymore. You have a mental illness, you people, especially you feminists. You have a mental illness when it comes to race gender you're mentally ill as a lot of the people who are confused about their identity groups at american university

and mount holyoke college had already adopted similar bans and censors have surely killed the play at other campuses without any national publicity, which I fucking love, by the way. Get rid of it. It's all garbage anyways. Your tears are so yummy and sweet. Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness. Yummy, yummy, you guys. Lib tears.

They're eating each other. This is the logic, this guy says, of the modern university. After all, if you don't shout out the entire message of today's progressives, you're to be silenced. Even somebody as far left as Eve Ensler and her horseshit play, which was just a bunch of, if you ever heard it, it's just a man-hating machine dialogue. There's nothing about equality. It's just about... I've seen it 11 times. Anyways. I walk in and I go,

I identify as Barbara tonight. Can I sit up front? But he quotes this guy, brings to mind Jacques-Malé Dupin's 1793 observation on the endless rounds of purges in the early years of the French Revolution. The revolution eats its own. In this case, it's a good thing.

Make it go away. It's just hate. That's hate speech to a straight guy. You guys call everything that comes out of my mouth hate speech, you far-left feminists. Hashtag me too, bitches. Oh, my eye. My vagina's angry.

It is. It's pissed off. Shut up! Thank you. It's a bittersweet story. I'm, uh, you know, happy that it's being bittersweet it's one of those bittersweet stories I'm uh you know happy that it's being crushed on college but you know there's the free speech issue

ah that's called dead air I'm trying to read that my glasses are filthy how many read a super chat yeah that's exactly what i want i was just going god i haven't been interrupted by a fucking mindless comment in 10 seconds yeah go ahead right nice and slow okay take it so yeah c speaks uh just wanted to know when you're doing the Joe Rogan, your show with Joe Rogan. I believe, and again, it's either, it's the, Jason, the 25th? Friday the 25th. Friday the 25th. January 25th of 2019, a Friday morning.

He has to go somewhere later that day. I think he's traveling. So, yes, I will be doing that and maybe hit some other ones when I'm out there. Maybe Carolla. He's usually good to me when I'm out there. And Joey Diaz. I'd like to do Joey's show. Right.

Okay. Ryan just gets so excited. It's the fucking excitement and the smile on his face that I should be seeing him working here every day. It's the most happy I've just ever put. Look at him. Fucking that's his hero. Joey Diaz. Joey Diaz, look at your sweater and fucking rip you to shreds.

Oh. Look. I'm nervous. This is an important show for me. People from... Scouts from the Weather Channel are watching tonight. And if they like me, they're going to let me play the saxophone over the local eights. I've got to lay off the sodium.

I've got a Jerry Lewis look. I don't like it. Excuse me, excuse me. Jonathan Ramirez wants to talk about the caravan. And the reason he wants to talk about it, he's driving one of the buses. He's in Anaheim. Jonathan, what's up? Exactly, exactly. I just got off.

So I just wanted to say that I don't know if you've heard these migrants are complaining about the food that the Mexicans are giving them yes have you heard about that i did hear about that and and uh isn't it um is it unbelievable un-fucking-believable yeah they're getting free food and then they're complaining about it can

you just imagine like how it's going to be when they get over here? Oh, yeah. They're going to want everything. They're going to want everything. I mean, we already raised the kids, basically. You know how many shootings there'll be at Taco Bells at 2 in the morning when these fuckers go in? They don't like the burritos on up to the stand.

And I got to be honest with you, Jonathan, the last type of food I want to load up on before I'm climbing a 30-foot fence is fucking Mexican food. I mean, I don't want to leave a stain halfway up that wall. Yeah, and then also I want to mention that I don't understand why the Latinos and Hispanics that are here legally, um, are in favor of illegal immigration. Um, they're basically illegal immigrants come over here, they get all the benefits. Um, and they're just basically cutting in line for people that are actually

waiting, doing it the right way in the home country. Well, those, those, so yeah, well, it's about race at that point for the people that are here legally, they just, anything Brown is good. And, and's about race at that point for the people that are here legally. They just anything brown is good. And like you said, it makes no sense that they had the weight line of these people cutting. They're contradicting themselves. But at that point, it's bigger. It's we want more people to look like us and to vote Democrat.

That's the only way I can explain it. There's no fucking logic or reasoning behind it. No, that's exactly it. I mean, that's why the left wants it so that. Yeah. I heard, I mean, probably paid for that caravan himself. Who?

You know, that's what the left wants. Sorrows? Yeah, I heard that too. Some people saying it's true. Some people say money's coming from Venezuela. You know, any third world shithole country. And Soros is usually behind that. And thank you for the call, Jonathan.

I got a bunch of them here. You know. It is. It makes no fucking sense. it is, it makes no fucking sense. Let's move on, shall we? To more political correctness. This is the shit we like to attack here.

Rider University in New Jersey sent a survey to students during the spring semester asking them which restaurants they would like to see the school bring on campus. But when it became clear that Chick-fil-A was the student's top choice, the college disregarded the results of the survey. The school not bring the popular fast food chain to campus because, in quotes, their corporate values have not sufficiently progressed enough to align with those of Ryder. According to a November 1st email sent to Rider students,

the school went on to clarify that the decision was in an effort to promote inclusion for all people. I am so fucking sick of hearing this fucking inclusion for all people. Who is not fucking included on the college campus in anything? Julia Pickett, a junior political science major and president of Ryder's Young Americans for Liberty

chapter, those would be the good guys, reacted to the college's decision in a statement. I don't think it's fair, she said. However, because Ryder is a private college, ultimately the decision is their own. Pickett objected, telling campus forum, they sell

chicken, so as far as I'm concerned, that should be the main focus. Exactly. If people don't want to buy their food, then they don't have to. It's as simple as that. I think that the administration of Ryder felt that having Chick-fil-A on campus would cause unwanted controversy and felt that the

easiest fix was to find another restaurant. I wish they would be honest about it, though, instead of trying to cover it as a deep offense to the school. Exactly right, Julia. She says, it's important to me and to the university that all voices are heard. Oh, no, this is from Rider Assistant Vice President of Student Affairs,

Jan Friedman Krupnik. There are a number of factors that contribute to a campus decision to invite a retail partner on campus. While Chick-fil-A is among other restaurants preferenced by Rider students, there are members of the community, faculty, staff, and students who strongly opposed the option as well.

In all of our campus decisions, we carefully weigh benefits, risks, and voice representative of all of our campuses. Apparently not. Apparently not, you stupid bitch. Because the survey, the majority of students wanted Chick-fil-A.

You just said, we include, we want everybody's voices to be heard. At what point do we get to this in this country? And by the way, the big controversy is the guy that owns Chick-fil-A is a Christian and his company donated at one point to a group that was against gay sex. I mean, against gay marriage. Who the hell's against gay sex? Nobody. I've tried it myself. Against gay marriage. But you know what he has since uh rescinded and i mean years ago stopped donating to that group and has done more than enough even though he should have the right

to but no not not fucking on college campuses with this left left-wing fascism oh we care about all students well apparently not, the majority of them want Chick-fil-A, when you're in college, and you've got 21 beers in you, and fucking four shots of Jaeger, and you're starving at three in the morning, you don't go, oh, you know, I want this sandwich, but gee, I think the guy doesn't like gay people, are you shitting me, you'd eat a pile of dog shit if the guy was Hitler. You know, this guy killed 6 million... I don't give a fuck. Look at this burger. It's cooked perfectly. Give me a fucking break,

Ms. Krupnik. Ms. Krupnik. It's important to me in the universe that all voices are heard. You're fucking contradicting yourself, you dirty whore. In all of our campuses, you can't please everybody, Ms. Krupnik. I know we live in a representative republic, but democracy-wise, most of the kids want it.

I bet you there's gay kids who love Chick-fil-A. I mean, for crying out loud just unbelievable you don't follow the orthodoxy you're fucking fucked in all of our campus decisions we carefully weigh benefits risk and voice rep. I can't.

Friedman and Krupnik added. I don't know. The show today, the Friedmans are giving us a hard time. Whether it's Judge Friedman or Miss Friedman at the college campus at Rider. Please get your shit together. So, do I have it right? Most of the kids want Chick-fil-A,

but no, there's a couple, and that's not the only school, by the way. Here's a story from back in April. Students fear Chick-fil-A will jeopardize Safe Place. You'd think that if any fast food place would jeopardize a safe place it would be in a Chipotle where after two bites you're bleeding from the ass and eyes and wondering what happened

by the way another tip for Thanksgiving you want to put that turkey you don't just want to throw it on a plate you want to put it on a nice bed of romaine lettuce go out right now and buy all the romaine lettuce you can. It looks nice on the plate. You put the turkey on it, and again, have the turkey at about 68 degrees internal

temperature. Between that and the lettuce, I'm telling you, you will be ripped by New Year's. I'm kidding. Don't buy the lettuce. I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Apparently it's tainted. Why does the lettuce keep getting tainted? With E. coli.

Huh? Tell the people picking the shit to wash their filthy third world hands. That could be anybody. Student senators at Duquesne University are lobbying for the cancellation of plans, this is from back in April, to bring Chick-fil-A to campus in the fall, saying they fear for the safety of their peers.

What? Oh. Now wait a minute, who did that? And I didn't clear that. Jason? Yes? You can't just put that up without explaining it to me yeah that is a chick fil a with a swastika yeah i know that my question to you is was it fucking photoshopped on there or is that actual graffiti that is photoshopped okay so you know what again jason stick to fucking stick to guitar please you know i love you, Jason, stick to guitar, please.

You know I love you. And your mother had the best line yesterday. Of Houston, we have a problem. Did you hear about that, Ryan? Jason didn't tell you? Nope. His brother said there's a call from Houston. He spelled it H-E-W-S-T-O.

So my mom texted him after the show said, Houston, we have a problem. I just said that, you know, I was in more context. Well, you can suck the life out of a room.

I'm sorry. No, you, you, please. Uh, anyways, Duquesne this is back in April popular fast food chain came under fire

in 2012 after its president Dan Cathy admitted his company was guilty as charged for donating I love the wording guilty as charged for donating to organizations opposed to same sex marriage prompting years of protests by LGBT activists especially on college campuses I fear that with Propagizations opposed to same-sex marriage, prompting years of protests by LGBT activists,

especially on college campuses. I fear that with Chick-fil-A being an option, that maybe people will feel that safe place is at risk. You know what? I have a safe place. I call it my taint. Why don't you get down there and pop on it? Why do you got to take it there? Because these people are sickening.

In 2015, for instance, that the Student Government Association at John Hopkins University demanded the removal of Chick-fil-A from campus, calling its presence a microaggression. Though outrage slowly died down as IRS filings show the company had virtually canceled its donations

to organizations opposing same-sex marriage. But that's not enough for the little liberal fascist fucking lefty Nazi fucks. Now, however, Duquesne University student Senator Nico Martini has reignited concerns over the company's past by proposing a resolution

at the Student Government Association March 26 meeting to nix the restaurant from a list of proposed overhauls to the school's dining options. Let's see what this kid's problem is. Chick-fil-A has a questionable history on civil rights and human rights. No, they don't actually, Martini.

You're a lying fuckstank. I think it's imperative that the university choose to do business with organizations that coincide with the university's mission and expectations they give students regarding diversity and inclusion. Diversity and inclusion. Who the fuck said that? Nico Martini.

There's a grimy little commoner shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant. Nico Martini. Diversity and inclusion. Diversity and inclusion. Diversity and inclusion. Diversity and... Do you see the little indoctrination camps that college campuses have become?

This kid's obviously gay. And that's the good part about him. It's his fucking filthy fascist mindset that makes me sick. While Martini's initial resolution ultimately failed, the SGA did agree to consider an alternate resolution that would allow for a vetting process of the on-campus Chick-fil-A. Oh, isn't that great?

Martini has the wholehearted support of the school's Gay-Straight Alliance, of which he serves on the executive board, when he's not bobbing for balls, with the group's president calling the fast food chain a threat to her peers. Safe place. I'm sorry, is Nico a she? Like it even matters at this point. Like it even matters at this point. Like it even matters.

You're not doing your homework, Nico. Wow. There's no coming back from this, by the way. You know this divide, this political divide. There's no coming back. This country's permanently broken. We need actual bloodshed. It's coming soon.

I can't eat a chicken sandwich because they don't like bags. Just not true. Just not true. This is off topic, but I'll take it anyways. My buddyave in santa monica dave uh you want to talk about ivanka trump using a private email like hillary did yeah well i mean you know you're you're talking about uh hillary going to jail and everything

for doing the same thing oh it's the same thing yeah no you're right it is the same thing because fucking ivanka is running for president, and Ivanka was secretary of state, and sharing secrets with the fucking Chinese, and what are you talking about? How do you even compare it, Dave? Get out of California! Will you please get out of California? I want to like you, but I can see the left-wing shit is fucking dripped into your brain. Get out before it's too late.

Oh. That was such a's too late. Oh. That was such a fascial analogy you made. How the fuck can you compare the time? Well, no. Dave. Nick. Dave. Come on.

Come on, Dave. Wake up, David. I'm going to come to see your show when you come here in January. Okay. But I don't know where yet because Ventura County is kind of a schlep. I want to see you a little closer, hopefully.

I'll give you a ride. Okay, thanks. I will. I'll give you a fucking ride up to it. I got a beautiful... I'm renting a motorcycle with a sidecar. You'll be in the sidecar. Alright, fantastic. But no, no, you're still one of the funniest guys around. I go with the sidecar. You'll be in the sidecar. All right. Fantastic. All right. Fantastic.

But no, no, you're still one of the funniest guys around. And I don't agree with your politics, but. I know. That's because you live in California. You've lost your fucking mind. You just proved it by that ignorant statement, trying to compare what Ivanka did with the fucking thick-angled dog. Come on, Dave.

I love you. I got to go. Bye-bye. Jesus Christ are you guys simple out in California. And I'm serious, because I felt that when I was living out there, I could feel it seeping in. I started to

fucking go, ooh, that sounded kind of racist, and that's when I moved. I didn't want to lose that. Luckily, Chris Rock called me and wanted me to write for his show. Dehallow! We need a white racist I had so much fun anyways

anyways I'll save this I'll save this should I do it finally tonight here on Meet the Press, an American tourist was killed by arrows shot by protected tribesmen in downtown Detroit. What?

Do you know what I got? No. Protected tribesmen living in one of the world's most isolated regions, northern Cleveland. No. Tucked in India's Ataman Islands, police said Wednesday. And I want to feel bad for this guy, but

you know, I mean, what are you doing out there? Bye-bye, dickhead. John Chow, 27, had taken a boat ride with local fishermen before venturing alone in a canoe to the remote North Sentinel Island, where the indigenous people live cut off

completely from the outside world. Sort of like living in Burlington, Vermont. As soon as he set foot on the island, Chow found himself facing a flurry of arrows. Contact with several tribes on the island set deep in the Indian Ocean is illegal in a bid to protect

their indigenous way of life and shield them from diseases. How the fuck does that work? We're shielding them from diseases. I'm pretty sure we have cures for all of ours. As tribesmen they lose every year to dandruff and fucking

athlete's foot. Police have registered a case of murder and seven accused. He went out there. It doesn't say in this specific article. He went out there and had arrows shot at him and he went back the next day. Is he alright? Is the child alright to your right?

Brian. He's good. He just dropped the headphones. I know. Just focus, buddy. It's almost over. Jesus Christ. The head of Joey Diaz mask could be fucking glued to the... Listen to this. The investigation in this matter is on. Chow made several trips to the Andaman Islands recently

before finally managing to make it to the remote stretch by offering money to a local fisherman. He tried to reach the Sentinel Island on November 14th, but could not make it. Two days later, he went well-prepared. He left the dinghy midway and took a canoe all by himself to the island. He was attacked by arrows, but he continued walking. The fisherman saw the tribals tying a rope around his neck

and dragging his body. Those guys aren't very nice. You ain't getting shit for Christmas. neck and dragging his body. Those guys aren't very nice. I like to show up on that island. They're supposed to have no contact. I like to show up on Christmas, they wouldn't even know it's Christmas, with a vibrating chair from Sharper Image, just to see their reaction. The Animans are also home to 400 strong jarawa tribe who activists say uh are at threat from

outsiders who often bribe local authorities to spend a day out with them what you're gonna spend a day with a fucking savage tribesman yeah let me take you to a maybe we can build a Chick-fil-A on this island. So they don't want you out there is the point. And I don't blame them. If I could go off the grid, not quite that far. You got to go online. I should have pulled up the video. They're like naked.

And when outsiders approach, you know what they do? They squat down and like they're going to shit. Which is what I do when I'm confronted in the city by somebody on the sidewalk. I pull my pants down and I click my lip plates twice. Anyways. All right, get up! Get up! They want to be left alone.

And again, I don't want to make fun of Mr. Charles' death, but I'm sorry. This is when I feel good about being a guy who hates to travel, who loves to lay on his couch, and I watch a story about these guys that they take helicopters to the top of a mountain, they jump out to go skiing, and an hour later there's an avalanche and it takes all six of them. I'm belly laughing on the couch.

I'm laying there, I get Cheeto crumbs in my pubes, I'm belly laughing, going, yeah, that's why I love my house. Nick, but you're not experiencing life. Well, they're experiencing death. I'm still alive.

Yeah, but they got the ski. Yeah, I know, but I'm still alive. They're dead at 22. Yeah, but they were fucking living life. I don't give a shit. Maybe living life to me is whacking off to the woman on Nat Geo. You know, the African bride with a bushel of wood on her head. We all have different things.

Anyways, folks, I'm tapped. It's the longest show I've done, almost an hour and a half. Super chats. Jesus Christ, what am I doing? I got a double album here? How many people in the, don't tell me. Go ahead, super chat. Nice and slow, Ryan.

Or Jason. We got $22 worth of them among three super chats. Tom Stone says, give those wetbacks ramen. That'll show them what poor are eating. Oh, and Michigan isn't all that bad, just the universities and just outside the downtown area. Yeah, which is the whole state. Sorry. Fenton, Livonia.

Okay, and Tom Stone has another one. Michigan now has a Dem governor and a Dem senator. Detroit has Dem mayor. Michigan now has a Dem governor and a Dem senator Detroit has Dem mayor this state is so screwed but as long as the largest muzzy community isn't offended we could get out alive yeah no if you guys gave up

a long time ago Dearborn and what not it's over it's fucking over Minneapolis is like fucking Mogadishu it's so funny they went to the purest part of the country. I know it sounds like white supremacist talk, but Idaho and

Minneapolis, and that's not an accident. It's like dropping a tumor in there. Too late. Too fucking late, Tom. I'm sorry. What was his first part where he was trying to be funny? We have a rule. No funny, just make a statement.

Yeah, he said, give those wetbacks ramen. Give those wetbacks ramen. Ramen noodles? I believe so. I wouldn't do that. Then they'll never leave. This shit's delicious. Unless you want them to stay, Tom.

I ate ramen for breakfast. You had ramen for breakfast? I had two packages of ramen for breakfast. You had ramen for breakfast? I had two packages of ramen for breakfast. I believe that. I mean, you're 11 years old with an earring, and you're wearing women's underwear. I believe you had ramen. We got one more.

All right. I better be making big bucks on these. Being orange, is Trump a person of color? By Sabrov. Again, a joke that 99 people would think I've been going. I'm going to that one but i actually what's the guy's name i say yes i say yes that makes him a person of i i hate that phrase person of color because that implies that the rest of us are transparent or some fucking and trump what he does is he's orange, but he leaves the eyes white, the goggles on purpose. That's some type of

dog whistle to his white supremacist friends that, look, the whites of my eyes. Don't forget, my friends. But that's a good question. I would say, yes, he's a brick... Brick orange. Burnt orange. He's like the color. I would say yes. He's a brick. Well, I was going to say brick, brick orange, burnt orange. He's like the color of a Tennessee's uniform. Or is that Texas? Texas wears the burnt orange. Hey, that's it.

I'm fucking tapped. It's obvious. Have a great Thanksgiving. They're telling you not to talk politics at the table. I say go just the opposite. Carve the turkey so it's shaped like Hillary's head and just stick a knife right in her face and dump cranberry sauce over your liberal cousin's tits. Start a brawl.

Ruin it. Ruin it. Have a big Trump sign on the front of your house and maybe your liberal douchebag relatives will back out of the driveway and go, we're not going there. They can go to Chick-fil-A. We can't go there either. And they'll starve to Chick-fil-A we can't go there either and they'll starve to death

anyways I've had enough thank you so much again we do the show on Facebook live and all the other shit so have a great Thanksgiving another tip don't pick the lions

I've done that they're getting 48 points, and by halftime, I'm throwing up my dressing because they're down by 49. That's about all I got, I guess. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. All righty, you guys think it.

I will say it. You're very welcome. And now, check out out this see you on Friday © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Субтитры создавал DimaTorzok I'll see you next time.