The Nick DiPaolo Show - Joey Gaffes #215
Episode Date: August 12, 2019Mysterious Epstein Death, Biden Offends, Pan-American Un-American Games....
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🎵 Hey Jason, how about a picture?
Hey, hey, welcome to the show, ladies and gentlemen.
I have no picture.
It's Monday.
Facebook Live.
YouTube Live.
We'll do it live. And don't forget, the show drops at 7 tonight, too. We'll do it live.
And don't forget the show drops at 7 tonight, too.
We'll do it live.
Fuck it.
Do it live.
If you want to watch it.
I'll write it and we'll do it live.
Where are you going, Jay?
Fucking thing sucks.
Sit down.
Distractions.
Fucking Monday.
Long week ahead of me.
I'm not in the mood.
Just got back from Pennsylvania.
New Town Theater sold out this past weekend.
Had a great time.
Thank you guys for coming out.
Packed to the gills, the balcony and everything.
Made some lady cry because I used the word fag twice in my act.
Not even in a derogatory way.
My opening act ran into her while I was on stage in the lobby.
She's like, you were great, but I had to get out of there.
I have two gay sons.
And she starts bawling.
What are you doing at a comedy show if you're that sensitive?
Here's my take on that.
You're not made for this world, lady.
You're a grown-up woman, and you're crying because I said fag a couple times.
I'm guessing you pass those sensitive genes on to your two sons who would get.
I'm seriously,
and I have no problem with gay, but never did.
Plenty of gay friends.
It sounds like you have the problem, ironically.
But how can you come to a comedy show
and not know who you're going to see
and be that sensitive?
I mean, who wouldn't make you cry?
Seinfeld would make you bawl.
I don't know what to say.
Anyhow, this is the world we live in.
Hey, Big Shasta, he's a YouTube follower.
He's got a cigar bar here in this town.
Wants me to do comedy.
It could be a great, I've done one up in Westchester.
It was a cigar bar.
It was great.
Very intimate setting.
So Big Shasta, if you're listening, hit me up on Twitter or Facebook at Nick DiPaolo.
Give me some details. I want to get in contact with you. It could be great. I need a place to
work out, and it sounds friggin' awesome. And don't forget, next month, ladies and gentlemen,
Ted Nugent, the Motor City Madman, is joining us. Can't wait. He deafened me in my left ear
as a 15-year-old. It's a true story. Real quick, dates.
This weekend, I'll be at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia,
Friday and Saturday night, August 16th and 17th.
And here's a new date for you.
Thursday, September 26th, Wise Guys Comedy Club, Salt Lake City, Utah.
Then the next two nights, I'm at my manager's new room in Vegas,
the Comedy Works, Friday and Saturday, September 27th and 28th.
Can't wait for that.
Thursday, October 10th, Levity Live, Nyack, New York.
Friday, November 15th, the Colton Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York.
Saturday, November 16th, Comedy Works, Saratoga Springs.
New Year's Eve, back at the Tarrytown Music Hall, Tarrytown, New York.
Friday, this is 2020, January 24th,
the Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut.
Saturday, February 15th, Kelsey Theater, Lake Park, Florida.
We also have some dates coming up,
some new ones in Georgia.
I can't give the specifics yet because the link's not up.
And in Maine, covering the whole East Coast, okay?
Maine to goddamn Georgia.
Working like Springsteen for fucking men without hats money.
God damn it.
Anyhow, yeah, Georgia and Maine dates.
Let's get right to it.
Obviously, I'm tired of the Epstein shit, but I'll just touch on it quickly
because it's all everybody's talking about.
I'm like everybody else.
I don't really think he committed suicide.
Call me a detective.
But as you know, they found him dead in his cell this Saturday morning at 6 a.m.
So.
And there's a lot of questions.
And obviously there's theories on both sides.
You know, people are going, oh, well, Trump knew him.
And people on the right are going, well, fucking Clinton was on his plane 23 times.
So, you know, the Clintons have a history of leaving a trailer.
They like the fucking, you know, they're like the Gambinos.
They leave a trailer.
Fucking bodies.
You guys can laugh out loud, honestly.
You're fucking holding them rich.
Jesus Christ, please.
I need your help today.
But there's a big mystery.
I think we all know they're going to find Bill Clinton's fingerprints.
Are you saying he knows nothing about these matters?
To my knowledge, nothing.
I'm going to find out what the hell happened here.
Don't we actually have a picture?
I think we have a picture of what went down.
There it is.
It's fucking obvious what happened. He's... All you gotta do is sniff Clinton's dick,
for Christ's sake. This shit's still fresh.
If it's not an Epstein
victim, you'll find they had IHOP
waitresses' pubes there or whatever. I mean,
for Christ's sake. This is a...
They found Hillary's fingerprint in his... I mean, they, you know.
It's getting very, very interesting because he had a cellmate.
Well, actually, he had a cellmate who was a bad cop,
this big steroid monkey Italian guy who lived in a town next to me,
Briarcliff Manor up in Westchester.
I remember reading about him.
He was involved in a drug deal. We have a picture of him that went bad.
This was his fucking cellmate.
This is not a nightmare for you,
although he's got a puppy, so maybe he wouldn't hurt anybody.
Actually, he's choking that
dog out right now.
This guy, John Tagliatone,
whatever his name is, he killed
four guys in a drug deal that he was
involved with. so he's doing
life he was uh epstein's cellmate they switched him out like on friday supposedly right before
jeffrey epstein and then there's they say they have cameras but the cameras aren't on what's
going on in the cell i mean what the fuck's the? And now they're saying that their lawyers requested that Epstein be taken off suicide.
What? This smells like a big bag of fucking mackerels.
Well, Hillary's ass crack. Take your pick.
Not good. Not good.
We have some video here.
Oh, Jesus Christ. How much evidence do you need?
Look, he's got a belly shirt on
that was before that cop started working out apparently in jesus
anyways you ain't gonna see him no more
yeah so that's the fucking that's good you guys are gonna be hearing about that you know in the
news now for the next couple of years.
They're a bunch of famous people, okay?
But, I mean, literally, Clinton was on the plane 23 times.
And, you know, we know his history.
Goodness gracious.
You guys draw your own conclusions.
I don't know.
Somebody whacked him out nice, I got to believe.
I think they might have flew in the kid that whacked out Whitey Bulger, that crazy Italian kid.
You know what I mean? Gun for fucking
hire. But the lawyers said they took him
off suicide watch, and
another cellmate said there's no way that he
committed suicide, and there's supposed to
be cameras in there, and if the cameras...
Who signed off on it?
That, you know, the prison
psychiatrist... There's a lot
of people sweating bullets. There's a lot of people sweating bullets.
There's a lot of famous people going, whoo!
They were fucking applauding on Saturday morning going, Jesus Christ, thank God.
George Mitchell from Maine?
The guy's 106.
Hey, baby.
Everybody would be, fuck.
I was hoping that, you know, whose name would come up beto but
he's too young he would have been six all right let's get on to it that's all i have to say joe
biden was out there ladies and gentlemen uh fucking biden uh we call him joey gaffs this guy
he referred to himself as a gaff makingmaking machine. He was out there just showing.
You say Trump is unfit?
This motherfucker is brain dead.
I mean, he was when he was younger.
He was saying stupid shit.
Now he's three years older than Trump.
He's 76.
You guys, he's still the leader of the Democrats right now as far as the polling goes.
This is the guy?
He makes Bob Mueller look fucking sharp as a tack.
He was out there just really fucking making, he must have done three gaffes over the weekend.
I mean, big ones, you know.
You think I'm smart?
Not like everybody says.
Like, don't.
I'm smart and I want the sticks.
Like, don't! I'm smart, and I want the speech!
Here he is this past weekend.
He actually thinks that he was still vice president when the Parkland shootings went down. I wish the kids came up to me.
I remember.
Here's the fucking video of Joey Gaffs.
I watched what happened when the kids from Parkland marched up to,
and I met with them, and then they went off to up on the hill when I was vice president.
They went off the hill to go into those neighborhoods.
All those congressmen were like, no, I'm not here. I'm not here.
Don't tell them I'm around.
What?
Never mind that he, never mind that, you know, he'd been out of office for over a year,
but even he can't speak.
They went off up the hill and fetched a pail of water,
and Jack came down with Jill with a couple of handful of tits.
What?
Making no fucking sense.
He can't put a coherent sentence together.
You're calling Trump unfit and he leads
the other jerk offs who's on his heels bernie will he'll be 102 on friday i mean what
so worried about fossil fuels because he is a fucking fossil i mean this is
what else did he say yeah he met with uh he met biden did meet with the parkland survivors in
2018 but he did so after he left office.
He was informed after he shit his pants and they changed his defense.
Another mass shooting in 2012 at Sandy Hook Elementary School took place while Biden served.
He's mixing up his shootings, and that's a kind of a sad statement about our country.
There's so many of them, you're confusing them.
And this is how they spun it a spokesman for biden kate
bendingfield on sunday tweeted a link to a story about biding meeting with the parkland students
in 2018 writing wouldn't it be nice to have a president who consoles americans in their time
of need so often that he sometimes mistakes that timing how to spin it dummy he's old and his brain's
rotten like a fucking summer squash in February.
You're not kidding anybody.
But even more so, wouldn't it be nice to have a president who actually fight to prevent these tragedies?
Yeah, as opposed to Trump, who's...
How many tragedies happened under Obama's watch, you dumb broad?
Who do we blame the fucking Pulse nightclub on in Newtown?
Jesus H. cries, hello,town. Jesus age cries Heloise.
And
then he says this. This is
from Thursday when he's talking about
schooling. We know Joe's
a racist.
We have clips of him going, you know, you can't go to
a 7-Eleven or a Dunkin' Donuts unless you
speak Indian.
Well, he added to that fucking
list of racial gaffes.
Watch this.
We have this notion that somehow if you're poor, you cannot do it.
Poor kids are just as bright and just as talented as white kids.
Wealthy kids, black kids, Asian kids.
I don't know what you mean, but think how we think about it.
But think how we think about it.
You know, them dumb, poor black kids, they're as smart as white guys.
I mean, wealthy kids and Asians and Hawaiians.
The fucking Samoans are the smartest people out there.
Oh, my God.
Joey Gaffs.
It's like watching SportsCenter's 10 best plays of the night.
This fucking guy just keeps, the hits keep coming.
Oh, my God.
Here's some more.
Not video, but here's some that he's made since he started running.
Last Thursday at Iowa State Fair, he says, and I quote, we choose truth over facts.
We choose truth over facts.
You choose your truth over facts.
Oh, my God.
And then the second time in three months he referred to Margaret
Thatcher
who I think she died on the fucking Titanic
didn't she?
Bitch is deader than Epstein.
And he keeps referencing her like he lives next to her.
She died six years ago.
It was the last time she was a prime minister
was 29 years ago.
He referenced, he made a reference
to her back in May. Oh, he's lost his mind, Joey boy.
At a fundraiser in San Diego the other night after massacres in El Paso and Dayton,
Biden, Joe Biden. I think it's catchy. I got it. Joey Biden. Biden referred to the tragic events in Houston today and also in Michigan.
This is what he said after the shootings.
Oh, my God. He's fucking lost his mind.
But it's all lies.
And then you remember at the end of the debate, the first debate, when he put up, they put up his, you know,
he wanted you guys to text a certain number.
And he's like, text Mickey Lose at 77X279.
I'm a fucking idiot.
By the way, he leads the field.
Did I mention that?
He leads the field.
He's burnt out i i you can't be in dc that long and not be corrupted
number one and not become cynical number two and i mean he lost his wife he's been through
fucking hell and i'm telling you the day he announced you could see the next day in his eyes
he was doing like some town hall and you could just he had that look in his fucking eyes
like when you start to work out
but you really don't feel like it you're about three seconds on the treadmill you're like what
the fuck should have stayed on the couch and scratched my balls this is horrible
uh but he's winning he's leading in the dems because uh you know trump is unfit we got to
get him out of there imagine trump going against him one-on-one.
He won't even talk during the debates.
He'll just run a fucking clip.
Let's go to the videotape.
Joe, that was 42 gaffes in three minutes.
Sleepy Joe. By the end of this, he's going to call him severely retarded Joe.
Mentally fucking ill.
Unbelievable.
And I keep hearing how Trump is
will Beto O'Rourke please go away
please
what is going on
help
I'm like Biden
I knocked over my thing
somebody plug my transistor radio
back into...
What the fuck else is going on?
Well, this is going to touch home because I was just on a plane.
Still hate it.
Everything went smoothly and I still fucking hate it.
I just...
I came out of the hotel in Philly.
The Marriott is connected to the airport. And I'm like, this is excellent. I can get there last second of the hotel in Philly. The Marriott, it's connected to the airport.
And I'm like, this is excellent.
I can get there, you know, last second.
I'll get up late.
So I walked through the doors out of the Marriott into the airport hallway.
And I see all gates this way.
And I'm like, I look down, and I'm not dog-styling you people.
There was a line three-quarters of a football field fucking long.
I'm not shitting you. People were like, they're there. I thought there was a line three quarters of a football field fucking long. I'm not shitting you.
People were like, they're there.
I thought there was a movie premiere.
People had lawn chairs and fucking blankets.
I have never in my life, I said, fuck it.
I walked past it.
I go, I don't care if I make an asshole of myself.
I am cutting up front.
I'm important.
I just told jokes to 300 people in Pennsylvania in the middle of nowhere.
I don't give a fuck about your business meetings.
I said, you've got to be.
So I walked up to this little, like, Dominican girl that worked at the airport.
God bless her with a heavy accent.
She goes, I'll go down the fucking stairs.
I take a right.
You go outside, okay?
Again, that was a Cuban accent.
I can't do that.
But she said, I said, I'm in Terminal F.
I said, hi.
She goes, if I were you, I'd go downstairs, walk, get out on the sidewalk.
She was right on the money.
It was about an eight-minute fucking walk.
But even then, I get there, and, you know, I get pre-checked.
That doesn't mean anything anymore.
There's a fucking 80 people in pre-check.
And they have people in wheelchairs in the pre-check line.
The fuck is going on here?
Get behind me there, fucking Ironsides.
I was here.
Do you mind if I roll over your feet?
Yeah, I do.
So I bought an emotional support parrot at the fucking gift shop.
Why am I mentioning all this?
I just fucking hate it.
If I could make money from here enough to fucking, you know,
support me and my wife and my 11 Dominican kids, I would do that.
United States, U.S. Department of Transportation rules,
they rule airlines must allow miniature horses to fly as service animals.
I'll repeat that.
Miniature horses.
I know this was brought up the last year or so or two.
We talked about miniature horses.
But now it's official.
If the airlines don't let these little fucking ponies on, they'll be punished.
You've got'll be punished. You gotta be fucking...
The next flight attendant says to me, you have to push your bag
under the seat in front of you,
in case there's an emergency.
Really, how about the fucking donkey sitting next to me
in 11C?
You think he might get in the way of the fucking emergency door?
Jeez, what am I gonna ride him out
down the ramp?
A fucking miniature horse!
But my bags might
fucking get in the way. You've got to be fucking kidding
me!
What the fuck?
Hello.
I'm Mr. Red.
Here comes a guy down the
middle of the aisle.
A horse is a horse, of course, of course, and no one can talk to a horse. Where you going? 23D. Here comes a guy down the middle of the aisle.
Where are you going?
23D.
Help me.
We have lost our fucking collective minds in this country.
You know why?
Because nobody judges anybody.
How about no animals on the plane?
No emotional fucking support cats.
If you're fucking relying on a cat for emotional support you're fucking mentally ill i can't get through the day without something that shits in a
box or dogs can't have peanuts on the plane somebody might be allergic but meanwhile i'm
sitting in the bronx zoo treat a payday bar like it's fucking ricin'.
But I got a guy behind me on a llama.
What the fuck is going on in this country?
The U.S. Department of Transportation issued its final guidance on the subject.
It added miniature horses.
Again, you people put your fucking trust in government.
To the list of service animals that can fly in any cabin.
Oh, they're're gonna fly all
right wait till i take a fucking taser to fucking mr ed's balls standing two three two to three
feet tall weighing around 100 pounds think of a jockey they are not unlike large dogs in their comforting presence yeah they are it's a fucking horse
that's so cute though i couldn't even kick that thing off
i might put some sugar cues under my crotch and but can you imagine you're the person sitting next
to that are you fucking kidding me please tell me they have to get their own row.
Honestly.
Can you imagine?
There's no leg room on a fucking plane.
What the fuck?
This guy's writing a note he's going to hand to the flight attendant.
I'm going to blow this plane up.
I have a bomb.
And this little fucking carousel horse is coming with me.
Look at the lady.
Look at her.
She has to steer a donkey's asshole and balls for the next six hours to L.A.
Look at the look on her face.
It's Chelsea Clinton.
This donkey just shit in my face. It's not a donkey.
It's a miniature horse.
It's a horse.
Honestly, I don't know what to fucking.
I know they were talking about allowing this, but I'm like, that would never fucking happen in my years.
So why not a baby llama or, you know, a fucking great thing or, uh, anyways.
Anyways, the Department of Transportation statement notes that air carriers have asked us to declare that a wide variety of species, including birds, animals with hooves or horns, constitute unusual service animals that may be categorically banned.
But, you know, a fucking horse, I mean.
How was your flight?
Pretty good.
How was your flight?
Pretty good.
I get bit by a rattlesnake and I'm.
And you know what's happening?
People, all you do is order a vest on Amazon that says, you know, emotional support, fucking pig.
Put it on your fat girlfriend and you're right.
Now, listen, that was uncalled for.
But the people are doing that just so they can bring their pets now.
You know what I mean?
I question the whole concept of being emotionally, you know, relying on an animal for emotional support.
I question it on its face.
What if the dog becomes emotionally unavailable halfway to fucking San Antonio?
But with trained miniature horses officially recognized in the American with Disabilities Act,
you bunch of cripples, as legitimate service animals, But with trained miniature horses officially recognized in the American with Disabilities Act,
you bunch of cripples, as legitimate service animals,
the agency has decided they must be able to fly.
We'll put wings on them.
Just keep them off the fucking plane.
The declaration isn't a law per se, but it indicates that they'll punish U.S. airlines that violate it. Oh, excuse us, fucking Third Reich.
Ooh, excuse us, fucking Third Reich.
Anytime I see an emotional support camel, by the way, that's a terrorist getting on the plane.
I don't give a fuck.
So anyone with a service miniature horse that needs to fly across this country would no longer have to say bye at the TSA checkpoint. You should also know that the guidance only allows airlines to specifically ban snakes,
reptiles, ferrets, rodents, and spiders from the... So you can't bring on an emotional support spider.
Why is that? Because people are scared. I'm scared of miniature horses.
They're like... To me, they're like dwarfs and midgets. They scare me.
They're supposed to be bigger than that oh my god was that offensive says who nick
listen to this people aren't taking advantage of this rule the number of service animals on
u.s air carries has increased year over year this decade in particular jumping from 481,000 in 2016 to 751,000 in 2017.
A few airlines have gotten ahead of the Department of Transportation
by opening their cabins up to miniature horses in the last year or so.
They were already doing it before it was okayed.
Southwest, Alaska, American, can you cross those off my list?
Guys, you're not going to see me at any comedy clubs anymore, any fucking venue.
American, can you cross those off my list?
Guys, you're not going to see me at any comedy clubs anymore,
any fucking venue.
And United All previously stated that the equinemius, you know, equines are okay to fly.
The declaration contains other important rules for service animals.
You can bring up to three critters.
What is this, green acres?
I got...
What was the pig's name in Green Acres?
Three critters on a flight,
but only one of them can act as an emotional support animal.
The other two must be physically necessary.
What is that fucking...
I don't...
You got both feet up two poodles' asses?
Oh, they're slippers.
No, really. you got both feet up two poodles asses are there slippers no really airlines are allowed to require advanced notice for emotional support animals not physical service ones complicating both of those rules is the fact that the airlines
are still forbidden from demanding proof of an animal's training or certification outright so
you can't even prove what the animal's for. They're going to take your word for it.
Well, I had a nervous breakdown.
That's why I got this cockatoo.
I'm fucking...
I'm not over-exaggerating.
I've had it.
Thank God I'm on the back nine of my life.
Sister's ass.
Oh, let's get to some more people who are emotionally crippled,
like Olympic fencer, race, Imboden.
You know who this chooch is?
Olympic fencer may be disciplined for taking a knee on podium.
A U.S. Olympic fencing champion took a knee on the podium at the Pan American Games,
and now he may face disciplinary action.
Yeah, bend them over your knee.
Look, this guy's used to fucking kneeling down.
Trust me.
I hope the guy who won the gold in the middle just fucking had chili the night before
and just burns his eyebrows off with a real fucking, look at this asshole.
You got what you wanted.
You went viral.
You're famous now, Mr. Fencer.
Who goes out for the fencing team?
I'm guessing somebody who likes cock.
Cock.
Let's pretend we're knights.
Rayson Bowden, who took home gold in the Team Foil event, knelt during the...
Oh, why is he...
Oh, this is an old picture of him doing it somewhere else.
If you're gold, you're in the middle, aren't you?
I don't know.
I don't give a fuck.
Who took home gold in the Team Foil event, knelt during the National Anthem at a medal
ceremony in Lima, Peru.
And what he saw was a protest over racism and
gun control. And of course CNN had
him on because, you know, it's right up
their fucking alley. Ooh, here's somebody else who thinks
America is just
one of the most horrible countries.
So let's listen to him.
Race in Bowdoin. We don't actually have that
video. I didn't send it to you?
No. We were going to work it out, but then we were trying to
fix the sound drops. Oh, yeah? yeah well maybe you could have fucking found it while
i was doing the rest of the show can you find it now jace yep i don't know who's having a bad day
you or me but i'm ready to fucking hang myself somebody call ebstein's lawyers have you or a
loved one molested a 12-year-old?
See if you can find it, Jace.
It's really a big part of the story.
Anyways, the U.S. Olympic and Paralympic Committee said Imboden's protests violated guidelines that prevent its athletes from partaking in political demonstrations. Every athlete competing at the 2019 Pan American Games
commits to terms of eligibility,
including to refrain from demonstrations
that are political in nature.
In this case, Race didn't adhere to the commitment
he made to the organizing committee in the USOPC.
So he fucking, he knew this was wrong,
but he did it anyways which is fucking ridiculous
sure you did the usop said uh you got it yeah here's him explaining it thank you sir
is also an olympic medalist and he's with me now competing in london in 2012 and rio in 2016 so he
is back in austin texas following his victory at at the Pan American Games. Tell us what's wrong with the country, fella.
Good to see you, Ray.
So why'd you do that?
What were you thinking?
Well, I'm on CNN, aren't I?
I went viral, didn't I?
Where's your collar?
Firstly, let me just say thank you for having me here.
Pause.
Thank you for having me here.
I hate that, too.
When did that become fucking mandatory when you're interviewed? Well, thank you for having me on in I hate that, too. When did that become fucking mandatory when you're interviewed?
Well, thank you for having me on in the first place.
Shut up.
We got 30 seconds.
Get to your fucking beef, you whiny maggot.
He's a fag.
Go ahead.
My motivation was what I stated in the post that I made on Instagram,
and that is that I am very, very proud to represent the U.S. in competition.
No, you're not.
You took a knee, dickhead.
I'm a very proud athlete, and I think that America is one of the greatest countries in the world athletically.
And I would even argue that America is one of the greatest countries in the world, period.
Pause.
And we can see you believe all that by taking a knee when the whole fucking world has had their eyes on you.
So you softened your point.
This is what they do they do
shit like this then they regret it and then they come on and they backpedal like the broad uh what's
her name gwen berry the hammer throw we'll get to her in a second but but but let fucking andy
you know i'll be fucking ripping for me standing on top of the podium and hearing my anthem play
has always been a moment for me of just pure pride.
And then what happened over the last few years?
I've started to come to different.
I've had different beliefs that that have kind of hurt that pride.
And some of those things are what I listed, which is racism and mistreatment of immigrants, as well as our president and the
things that he's been representing.
I think that the catalyst was certainly the shootings this past week and being overseas
and not being home and being an athlete who's on the road a lot and seeing the terrible
things that are happening.
Pause, pause, pause, pause.
Let me ask you a question, Red.
Did you take a knee fucking when Obama was president, the pulse knife shoot?
I don't know if you won a gold medal back then or not.
Were you bitching about it?
You're a well-known athlete apparently.
When the pulse shooting a fucking new time, was that shit bothering you?
Or only when it's a white president?
Blaming everything.
Over the last few years, I've come to become disappointed.
He's just another fucking anti-Trump jackoff, getting his moment, and CNN's glad to give
it to him. You're a fucking fencer. Nobody gives a shit. Take a knee in front of your
fucking life partner, Tom. Take two. Nick, why'd you throw that in? I don't know. I'm sick of it.
It's not even original.
Let the little girl finish.
And wanting
to evoke change. And I don't
have a big platform. Start with that shirt.
At the time, I was trying to speak to those people who
followed me. And, you know,
I'm a fencer. And for a lot of people,
I believe that i represent white privilege
and i'm in a sport that all right all right fucking i didn't even know about that white
privilege he swallowed all of it just like the rest of you there's no state no such thing as
white fucking privilege he's he's he's swallowed everything that cnn peddled. He hates Donald Trump.
You should have had the balls to come out and just say that,
not soft-soap it.
Fucking take a knee in front of a bus.
Ugh.
And then, of course,
a teammate of his at the Pan American Games,
Gwen Berry,
she's a hammer thrower, so the world's fucking riveted at what she has to say.
I'm fucking...
She raised her fist at the Pan Am podium, you know, just to let people know what's up.
you know, just to let people know what's up.
She raised her fist on the podium to draw attention to social issues
after earning gold medals at the Pan Am American Games in Lima, Peru.
We have a clip of her, Jason.
Let's see what she has.
Oh my God, it must be freezing there.
The fucking lips are blue.
That's original.
Wow, that's tremendous.
You're doing it 60 years after Carlos did it in fucking Mexico.
Let's see what she was whining about.
see what she was whining about uh anyhow um the usopc issued the same statement in response to berry raising her fist at the end during the national anthem said berry said sunday morning
she was she was to have a meeting with the usopc later to see what was uh going to come of my
action probably a viral video and you're famous again and berry said her raised fish which drew
memories of tommy smith and john carlos at the 68 Mexico City Games, wasn't meant to be a big message.
It wasn't meant to be a big message, really?
Uh-oh, retard alert.
Retard alert.
You did it at the Pan American Games.
This is the most exposure you've ever got on you, but I didn't mean it to be a big mess. Listen to her
backpedal with her statements. I can tell
she regrets she did it. When
John Carlos did it and the other guy in 1968
in Mexico City, it was relevant
and original
even though I disagree
with it then. That's right, I was 32
years old in 60.
Just a testament to, listen to this, this is why
she did it. Just a testament to everything I've been through in the past year.
It's about her.
Everything I've been in the past year and everything the country has been through this past year.
Again, and I'm implying that Trump has caused all kinds of, a lot of things need to be done and said and changed.
I'm not trying to start a political war, act like I'm Miss Know-It-All or anything.
No, don't worry.
Nobody will mistake you for that.
The Blue Lips kind of gave us a, it's like a Dave Chappelle video.
I just know America can do better.
Barry 30 said the motivation behind her gesture included the challenges overcome of changing coaches and moving from Oxford, Mississippi, where her family resides, to Houston.
Oh, so the challenges you had to overcome were shit people do every day.
It's called life.
Big fucking deal.
This is the times we're living in.
She sees that as a burden.
In order to become famous, she had to
move and go away from her family.
You know, shit people do every day.
You gotta be
fucking frying my apples.
She had to
change coaches. How did you survive that?
Jesus Christ.
She's been
among the world's top three throwers
each of the last three years. I'd like to see one of
those hams blow back and catch her in the fucking
forehead.
Every individual person has
their own views of things that are going on, she said.
It's in the Constitution.
Oh, she's retarded, the poor thing.
Freedom of speech. I have a right to feel
what I want to feel.
Are you listening to this dribble?
The right to...
I love how they point to the founding fathers being slave owners and racist,
but the first chance they get, they quote the Constitution
and all the fucking guys that are so racist.
And I have a right to feel what I feel.
Yeah, but we don't have to hear it.
It's no disrespect at all to the country.
I want to make that very clear.
If anything, I'm doing it out of love and respect for people and the country.
Will you shut up? Will you?
Will you please shut up? Will you shut up?
What I did yesterday was just something I felt in my little rotten soul that I should have done. It was random.
I haven't thought about it. You didn't think about it. That's the problem. I really don't want to
make a spectacle. Contradicting everything. Just politically correct dog shit pouring out of her
mouth for 10 minutes and then just contradicting herself at every fucking but the bottom line is these two athletes don't like america since trump became president just like a
lot of people fucking where i wish i was in the pan am i would have gone on i would have got on
somebody's shoulders while they were near i would have been higher than everybody and i would have
held up the fucking statistics of black unemployment brown
unemployment female oh wow wow wow it's coming bugs it's coming let's stay on the the america
haters first huh let's stay on that nearly 100 protests is arrested after part of a new york
freeway shutdown in anti-ice demonstration.
Thank God I left the big rotten apple.
West Side Highway.
People, uh, 100 protesters arrested Saturday.
Outside an ice office where they shut down part of the West Side fucking highway.
I don't miss this shit at all.
Protesters sat down and linked arms in the middle of the West side highway near 26th street.
There you go.
Uh,
where's the guy from Charlottesville in his truck.
He could have just fucking thrown it in reverse and just clipped.
Look at these jackoffs.
See, here's the problem, okay?
Right now they should be getting tasered and pepper sprayed and billy clubbed.
Nick, that's very Chinese of you.
I know.
China has it right on some issues.
Look, there should be a dad pulling his kid in a red wagon with a hammer.
He's just down the line fucking knocking him out look at there's the dyed hair there's the fat chick who's always there
she's mad at the world because nobody stuck a prick in her fucking glasses baseball cap
confused about her sexuality uh there's a guy in the middle and and uh who do i see holy shit
i think i see uh is that ke Keith Olbermann on the far right?
Who the fuck?
I don't know what it is.
We are protesting the camps at the border and the children being separated from their parents,
Miriam Bernstein, dumb broad.
Bernstein said the protest location was chosen because ICE offices are nearby.
Make me a sandwich.
Make me a fucking sandwich.
Again, were you guys sitting in the middle of the street when Obama had kids in cages?
You fucking close-minded, lying, two-faced hypocrites.
Disrupting traffic.
I drove into one when I had my radio show.
I had to go into the city.
I forget. It was a cop thing. I had to go into the city. I forget.
It was a cop thing, and it was fucking, you know.
And I'm watching white cops guard black people as they're spitting at the cops,
and it really put me in a good mood for my show that day.
The highway appeared to be shut down for about an hour before the lanes were reopened.
I am absolutely infuriated by children being broken up
and split from their families
unless it's done with nine-month-old fetuses and abortion.
Then I don't give a fuck.
Then I don't care.
Honk if you hate ice.
I like to drive by and hit you in the face with a cup of ice, dry ice,
the kind that burns.
I'm absolutely infuriated by children broken up, split from their families.
As our government detains people, round it up.
All these immigrants last week, said Nikki Blazik.
Nikki Blazik.
Wow.
Those arrested Saturday were charged with disorderly conduct and released.
Wow, that'll teach them.
That'll teach them.
What happened to fire hoses and fucking German shepherds that are fucking foaming at the mouth?
Huh?
They'll be back next week.
What happened?
I got thrown in jail for like 12 minutes.
And I was out.
A lot of anti-American sentiment going on, huh, folks? You don't believe me? How about Burger King? Hear about these mamalooks? Burger King employees fired after police officers
served food with a pig drawn on it. I mean, for the love of Christ. I don't want a bad-mouthed Burger King.
I've fallen in love with Burger King over the last six months.
I can't explain it.
That boy is a P-I-G pig.
I ain't going there no more until you change this.
Then again, I got a sandwich with a pig drawn on it,
but I think it's because I was a little bloated that day.
Burger King employees apparently played a cruel joke
and it cost them their jobs.
They'll be working at the TSA tomorrow,
going through your bags, you know,
qualified people like that.
That's a pig?
Oh, they drew a star on it.
Looks like an emotional support fucking donkey to me.
A police officer in New Mexico posted a picture of a Burger King wrapper he claims to have received from a restaurant in Clovis.
A cartoon pig is crudely drawn on the wrapper.
And the photo bears the text, when you order food in uniform.
What a punk whoever did this.
Fucking punk.
Also, the food was burnt.
The cops said they burnt the... That's how you like it, though.
It's flame broiled.
No offense.
You want gray meat?
Like at Arby's?
I better get a sandwich at Arby's.
It's like old people's skin.
They should call it Grampy's.
The photo was uploaded to Facebook by Timo Rosenthal.
Timo Rosenthal.
Somebody break that down with 23andMe.
What the hell is...
Jewish and what the fuck's Timo?
He captioned it,
While on lunch break and in uniform,
I ordered food at Burger King and received this.
The patties were burnt and the burger was of very poor quality. While on lunch break and in uniform, I ordered food at Burger King and received this.
The patties were burnt and the burger was of very poor quality.
In a statement of Fox News, a spokesman for Burger King said,
What occurred is unacceptable and not in line with our brand values.
We will try to start hiring people that we didn't find on a sidewalk laying in their own piss.
When made aware of the incident,
the restaurant owner immediately reached out to the officer involved to apologize and terminated the team members
who walked across the street and got a job at Wendy's in three seconds flat.
You know that.
Bye-bye.
The restaurant is offering free meals to uniformed officers
and will provide a catered lunch to the police department as a gesture of goodwill.
They should eat there for nothing all the time.
Okay?
They protect your business every day.
At least a free soda or something, or a free burger once a week.
Can you imagine some little scumbag?
They didn't mention the race, and I don't know.
Again, it could be a little white kid with dreadlocks.
But I'm guessing no.
There's a certain segment of the population who really hates the fucking cops.
You know who I'm talking about.
Those Scottish motherfuckers.
Scottish motherfuckers.
Anyways, the chief of police of Clovis said he is disappointed that a law enforcement officer was treated in a spectral derogatory way.
Is that all you get to say?
You're not more irate than that?
You're not going to say we're not going to protect that Burger King?
You could call us and tell us that one of your customers' face is being held in a friolator.
We're not going to come.
We're not helping anybody there.
It's a soft world, folks, and it's getting softer.
How about this?
Authorities in the United Kingdom, that would be England,
have warned people online against mocking the hairstyle of a wanted convicted drug dealer,
or they could face their own criminal charges.
What has happened? No, they're ignorant. own criminal charges. What has happened?
No, they're ignorant.
That's ignorant.
What the fuck has happened to England?
By the way, we have sound issues on the SoundDrop things.
Windows updated their software overnight.
Every time they do that, my world comes apart.
So you can't make fun of a drug dealer's hair, though, or you might get arrested yourself in England.
And they wonder why they're being overrun and you can't recognize the fucking city of London anymore.
The Gwent Police Department.
Oh, this was in South Wales.
Excuse me.
Had posted to Facebook to appeal for information about a 21-year-old Jermaine Taylor.
We got the picture.
What the fuck?
Oh, my god.
But don't make fun of that. You might hurt the
drug dealer's feelings.
What?
It looks like, I don't know, a
meth lab blew up in his...
Dude, shave that. I mean, he's not even
a bad looking guy. It makes him
look like the devil a little bit.
That's all I can think of.
His head looks like an explosion.
That looks like smoke coming off the back of his head.
Why would you leave that?
Some broad's going, you know, I'd fuck you, but...
I'd fuck you, but...
Jesus Christ. That healthy head of hair.
It's just, but you can't make fun of him now.
This is where we are.
Taylor received a three-year sentence for supplying controlled drugs, cocaine,
after being sentenced in court September 27th.
So the department took to Facebook and posted the 21-year-old's mugshot
in addition to an
appeal for information. But the image which showed
a receding hairline. Oh,
yeah, I guess you could call it that.
Looks like the fucking French army
in World War II.
And they saw the krauts coming over.
I mean Germans. Oh, Nick, come
on, get out of that retrograde speak.
So
they put it on Facebook and the the image which showed quickly went viral.
More than 13,000 shares, 10,000 likes, and over 81,000 comments.
Many in the comments section took to making jokes and puns on Taylor's hair.
I'll spare you the pain on those.
But authorities found the comments no laughing matter.
This is what I'm talking about in a kind of left-wing, humorless world.
Don't hurt this guy's feeling who's selling junk that kills kids on the streets.
He can't help it if his head looks like an exploding cigar or a fucking hairy dickhead.
Oh, my God.
Please remember that harassing, threatening, and abusing people on social media can be against the law.
You need to shut...
Wow. Underwater.
Other advice is to be...
Our advice is to be as careful on social media as you would in any other form of communication, police wrote. If you say
something about someone which is grossly offensive
or is of an indecent,
obscene, or menacing... Have you been
on social... That's what it was created for!
Why don't we just all get off
it now? What is he talking about?
Don't say anything mean on
Twitter or I'll tan your ass.
Then you could be investigated by the police.
Fuck you and everything you stand for.
Wow.
We're past Orwell.
They just write out this,
and you say something mean,
we're coming after you,
we're going to arrest you.
Nice going, UK.
You're really hanging in there.
Oh, my aching stem.
That guy had a beautiful head of hair.
I don't know why you guys are poking fun at him.
Let's end it on something light, can we?
How about this fat Japanese guy eating a Popsicle?
This kind of cracked me up.
It's not relevant to anything, but first of all, the Popsicle's square.
Japan.
Is he Japanese?
I don't want to be racist, but it's hard to tell.
I thought he was just a really fat white guy.
Anyways, he eats a gargantuan Popsicle in one bite.
Let's take a look at this.
We'll end Monday.
Jesus!
Jesus! Jesus. Jesus. I don't know why that made me laugh.
He was doing exactly what you do.
I used to have a bit that a bunch of people have stolen since,
but I said my girlfriend was so frigid if I went down on her too fast,
I was like an ice cream headache.
One of my best lines ever.
That is it,
ladies and gentlemen. I brought you international news.
A Japanese guy got an ice cream headache.
If you didn't like that story, blame
Rich. I'm like, Rich, can we have
something relevant? Oh, it is.
It has something to do with the
tariff wars going on. No, that's China.
Anyways, Joey Gaff's out there.
That is it.
Again, this weekend, Friday and Saturday night at the Helium Comedy Club in Philadelphia.
It's a great club.
I've been there many times.
Last time I was there, they had a blackout on the Thursday night show.
The fucking power went down in the hole, and it was the summertime, and the club's kind of underground.
I walked in.
I got a blast of heat, and the show was canceled because it was – and the bartenders were sitting around with candles drinking.
And I had four Stollys on the rocks in about eight minutes, and I staggered out of their – like a kid who found out he had a snow day, like a little idiot.
And then I'm staggering down the street.
I walk past a karaoke
bar and the kids singing recognize me call me in no i didn't fucking sing went in there had a couple
drinks with fans and and then i'd say about an hour and a half later i'm sitting in a bar by myself
and i go oh i'm that creepy guy everybody was like 20 years younger than me i'm in the fucking
corner almost i literally didn't finish my drink when it dawned on me.
I just left it there. And on the way back to the hotel, this is true, there's a white
limo. This young black girl, like high school age, gets out. Big, heavy sep. She looked
beautiful. It was prom night. I said, you look amazing. She had, you know, her hair
all done up. I look, I mean, you look beautiful. Her boyfriend gets out and goes, what'd you
say? I was just complimenting your girlfriend.
Kid wanted to fuck me up.
And I had to ask somebody where the hotel was.
That's how fucked up I was.
Okay?
Is that the behavior?
That'd be three years ago.
54-year-old.
Anyways, that's it.
Remember, you guys think it.
I will say it.
You're very welcome.
Big Shasta, hit me up, will you, and give me some information.
We'll see you guys tomorrow.
Take care of yourselves. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ We'll be you next time. you