The Nick DiPaolo Show - Judgement Day For Roske | Nick Di Paolo Show #1221

Episode Date: June 9, 2022

Kavanaugh update. Biden popular among Mexicans. Washington Posts' Tweetgate. Amy selling out tampons. Aussie woman wakes from coma. Man survives bear attack....

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching and contributing to the show. Every day I read something about a comedian or a comedy producer that supports censorship. Fuck these people. Patton Oswalt. Comedy is meant to be uncensored. Nothing is off limits and if the truth hurts your feelings, then too bad. Change the station. Don't tell anyone else what they can or can't say.
Starting point is 00:00:26 That's why I created this show, a place to find unfiltered and brutally honest comedy. And since the media, the media running libs would never put this show out there, we did it ourselves, me and my team, along with your support and contributions. To that end,
Starting point is 00:00:43 please consider contributing to the show to keep us going. You can either click the link below, below this video, or on my website on the top at nickdipp.com. You fuel the show, and I appreciate all your generosity. We can't do it without you. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you folks? Welcome to the show. Final day of the week on a Thursday.
Starting point is 00:01:46 That's right, a dirty Thursday. Quick speed sports update. Boston Sox win their seventh in a row. 6-0 on this West Coast trip. Celtics take game three. Three? Yeah, three. At Boston last night by 16.
Starting point is 00:02:06 Two games away from a world championship. Title time, motherfuckers. You got to admit, it's been a good couple decades. What the fuck, Al? Yeah, Red Sox pitching. Here's a stat for you real quick, you Boston fans. Starting pitching this year, they had a six-game stretch between last week, beginning of this week.
Starting point is 00:02:24 starting pitching this year they had a six game stretch between last week beginning of this week six starters over six game stretch era 0.23 combined which is a record since they've been keeping records for the boston red sox franchise 1913 is when they started keeping record and that's the best er that's pretty impressive and now they're hitting the ball. But what they did was shit the bed all of April and let the Yankees go fucking wild. But anyways, I gotta say, they're gonna be in the playoffs. We're gonna catch whoever.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I've never seen starting pitching for the Sox like that. Very excited. And a bunch of hippies in a bullpen. Here, down to their ass. They come in, they're gonna joint them up. I kinda like this team. That's it. Rangers and you know who. Tampa Bay tonight. Guys, I can't... If you're a sports fan at all,
Starting point is 00:03:12 just watch one NHL hockey game playoff and you tell me. See, I switched. You can't even watch basketball after. Even the Celts last night, I checked in about every 20 minutes. Didn't miss a fucking thing. Stupid. It's stupid.
Starting point is 00:03:26 It's fun. I mean, it's fun, and it's fun to watch. The Celtics can shoot the lights off. Anyways, let's get on with this goddamn show. Dallas is losing his shit here. Noah quit. Ghost broke in here last night and fucked up everything. Literally everything.
Starting point is 00:03:40 The printer won't recognize either of us like we cheated on it. And all kinds of horse shit. And we're doing a few shows, like I told you yesterday. We're going to bang on a couple today. So, you know, hey, how do those get? Does somebody have to upload those next week? Or how does that work, Dale? I don't even know.
Starting point is 00:04:00 No, I'm going to have to come in. Oh, you come in quick and just pop them in? Yeah, I'm going to have to come in an extra day and work them out. All right. Let's get right to it. All right. What do we got here? First story, Judgment Day.
Starting point is 00:04:18 Judgment Day, yeah. Hear ye, hear ye. The court's in session. The court's in session now. Here come the judge, here come the judge. A criminal complaint accuses Rosk, this guy Nick Rosk, Nicholas Rosk, of attempts to kidnap. Remember we talked about beginning of the show yesterday? Guy last night shows up at you know whose house?
Starting point is 00:04:40 Kavanaugh's house. Trying to kill him. And again, egged on by Chuck Schumer about a year ago, or whenever they, a couple years ago when Kavanaugh became a Supreme Court. And he said, you know, talking about Roe versus, you'll reap the whirlwind. You won't know what hit you. Talk about fucking incitement. Not excitement, incitement. Anyways, a criminal complaint accuses Rosk of attempts to kidnap or murder or threatens to assault, kidnap or murder a United States judge
Starting point is 00:05:13 to wit a current justice of the United States Supreme Court. It outlines a number of items. Hi, see my teeth? Welcome to Hee Haw. Outlines a number of items he's accused of bringing with him uh to cavanaugh's neighborhood including duct tape zip ties and a pistol that sounds like that show remember to catch a predator that's what a guy would show up with and go no i'm just here to talk to the girl uh the suspect also goes by the name of nich. Great name. Nicholas Rosk or Nick.
Starting point is 00:05:45 So, yeah, it gets pretty. Look at this. 25 years old. He doesn't even know. I call it West Coast retarded. He thinks, and Gutfeld makes a great point about once you start, well, not just got a lot of people up. Once you start labeling people on the right Nazis and Hitler and idiots like this believe it, right?
Starting point is 00:06:10 Why wouldn't you kill Hitler? I mean, if you believe I'm Hitler or fucking Judge, you know what I mean? That's, they're a little, on the left, they're just a little retarded when it comes to that. And it's always them. They're the ones that shoot presidents, by the way. If you look at the, if you look at, well, first of all, they're Marxist socialists. And if you look at the history of that, Pol Pot and Stahl, how many people they murdered? That's where it goes.
Starting point is 00:06:31 They're the ones that go violent first because they're a little fucking retarded and don't get the concept of, you know, bipartisanship. So fuck off. Look at this. 25, what do you get, a vagina? Why are you so upset about roe wade and he's upset about the uh he's upset about the gun the massacre in uvalde you know he's a gun control guy so what's he do he shows up at a judge's house with a gun
Starting point is 00:06:56 to prove how fucking retard are you interested in the real story? I am. The arrest comes on the heels of a Wisconsin judge being zip-tied and murdered in his own home by a man he sentenced years before and escalating threats against members of the United States Supreme Court.
Starting point is 00:07:18 Threats against the court have been a rising concern since the leak of a draft memo that indicated the court, including Kavanaugh, this guy doesn the court, including Kavanaugh. This guy doesn't even know what Kavanaugh's opinion is on this, by the way. That hasn't been released. May overturn Roe versus Wade.
Starting point is 00:07:33 So let's kill people that we disagree with. The leak drove Ross anger. In addition, he was angry because he thought Kavanaugh would help loosen gun control laws after mass shootings, the affidavit alleges. And again, you can thank Chuck Schumer and all those fucking left-wing twats who actually came out and encouraged this shit.
Starting point is 00:07:53 Even Freckleface Hua, what's her name, girl Jen, a few months ago was saying we encourage peaceful protests and it's fine if they go to a judge's house. No, it's not. they go to a judge's house as long as it's peace. No, it's not.
Starting point is 00:08:08 It's actually against the Constitution. Rosk, who was armed with a pistol and other items, silly string and a jockstrap, accused of saying he was thinking of giving his life a purpose by breaking into Kavanaugh's home and killing him. Who said that? You know who. Who. Who said that? You know who. Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little commoner shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here
Starting point is 00:08:31 who just signed his own death warrant? Fucking give your life a purpose. How about hanging yourself in your basement? Nicholas Rosk, who is from California, West Coast stupid, paging West Coast stupid, again, a state that embraces this type of shit. Was upset about the leak of Roe versus Wade draft opinion. Believed Kavanaugh, again, would side, again, believes, doesn't know,
Starting point is 00:08:54 with decisions that would loosen gun control and blah, blah, blah. I can imagine, well, this reminds me of many movies I've seen. This is, luckily, luckily Kavanaugh had cops. You know, if he didn't, this is what of many movies I've seen. This is, this is, luckily, luckily, Kavanaugh had cops. You know, if he didn't, this is what would have happened to him. Oh, nails in his hands. This could have been the poor Wisconsin judge last week. Ross, the son of an educator. Need I say more?
Starting point is 00:09:25 There you go. West Coast stupid. And insurance agent. So educators are just indoctrinating left-wing cocksuckers today. And insurance is a big scam created by a certain business type. What do you mean, Nick? You know, people like to do business. I fucking hate insurance. I hate it, especially health insurance. Okay, every time I've gone, it's
Starting point is 00:09:51 like, well, you're deductible. You still pay enough. You know what I'm saying? It only helps if I get a bullet in the head or I'm retarded after a car accident. Otherwise, I got a $2,500 deductible. Whatever the fuck. It's a big scam. I hate it. Lenny Clark, he's having a joke about it. So as far as life insurance, if I die, I win. I win. Was carrying a backpack like most immature people do.
Starting point is 00:10:20 In suitcase with zip ties, a crowbar. Did I already say this? The fuck? Pistol and other items. Yeah, we already said that. I'm not the problem. Get out of here. Dr. Y, onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking
Starting point is 00:10:33 ground. I promise you. I'm just giving you the bullet point of what you should know about this guy. Authorities began heightened security at the justices' homes in May of 2022. Protesters have occurred outside Kavanaugh's home. What are we doing? Yeah, Joe, what are you doing?
Starting point is 00:10:49 What's going on right now? You're all right with this. Long as nobody's getting hurt. Un-fucking-real. Picture that being a right-wing Trump supporter going to fucking, well, she's dead. I was thinking of Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Pissing on her grave. I've done that, no biggie.
Starting point is 00:11:14 Anyway, speaking of Joe Biden, the worst president in the history of not just the United States, of any nation, that Idi Amin was a much more effective politician. Sure, he started his day by drinking a glass of his own urine. When's what we, when I was a kid, that was the big story. It was in all the papers. And he was a cannibal, apparently. But other than that, had some sound policies. Viva Jose. That means long live Joe Biden. Joe Biden, get this, folks, finally, finally he's getting some good numbers. Has boosted his public support for his leadership in government to 52%.
Starting point is 00:11:51 Only problem is that's in Mexico. Public support for Mexicans in Mexico. Not from Americans in America, according to Gallup. What does that say about your president? America, according to Gallup. What does that say about your president? When you've got a troubling partner right next door, you know, cartels are actually controlling our borders now,
Starting point is 00:12:14 and they love him. Nice. You're a loser. He is. You'll always be a loser. Here I am, Taco Bell. They had a grand opening in Savannah. That's me on the hood of the car.
Starting point is 00:12:29 Gallup reported the good news for Biden on June 7th, saying U.S. leadership had been more popular in Mexico than it had been in several years. They're bragging about it. With 52% of Mexicans approving of U.S. leadership in 2021. Mexicans approving of U.S. leadership in 2021. Biden is a fucking moron. He falls down the stairs and he shits his pants. The polling data may have been released because Biden is attending the... Oh, everything is so orchestrated with the Dems.
Starting point is 00:13:07 You know why they put that out? Because he's attending the Summit of the Americas in Los Angeles this week. And I heard yesterday, nobody showed up, like Mexico stiffed them, and a few other... That's how little respect they have for this jerk-off. Back in the US, Biden's support among Americans, first of all, 41%? No, it isn't. That's a lie. It's not even that. According to the average polls,
Starting point is 00:13:32 I like that's an average. You know, they'll take one, they'll ask 10 Democrats, you know, that'll all give them the thumbs up and that sort of balances out. This fucker, they're lying. This guy, nobody, people on the left don't like him. Anyways, that was by Real Clear Politics, which ain't too clear
Starting point is 00:13:50 to me, motherfucker. You suck. You ever watch him walk like, he's not just old for a president. He's like a guy you see in the park feeding pigeons. You know what I mean? He shuffles his feet like Tim Conway on the Carol Burnett Show doing the old guy. How'd that get in there? Guys, I'm going to read this. Leave it in. This is...
Starting point is 00:14:28 Why not? How did that get in there? By subscribing, you agree to our terms of use in privacy policy. You'll receive email marketing messages from Breitbart News Network to the email you provide. You may unsubscribe at any time. Oh, boy, anybody? Biden also has 57% opposition where it matters in the nation that will vote for him, meaning here in the midterm elections in November. One of the big issues that has hurt Biden is him farting in front of royalty,
Starting point is 00:15:11 throwing up on his wife's chest, punching a guy a bingo, and shitting his pants. Now for something completely different that has hurt Biden, his decision to open the borders to many economic migrants. Oh, is that what we're calling them now, economic migrants? Fucking, you people and your language, your left wing. They're called illegal, not all of it, yeah, illegal immigrants, most of them uneducated, about eighth grade education, who have nothing to offer. Yeah, but they'll do the jobs Americans want. Yeah, tell that to a black guy who's trying to get a job now.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Economic migrants, that is good news, or for poor white people trying to get a job. That is good news for Mexicans and other people who migrated to America's jobs. Housing, again, that you guys will be paying for. And towns, you know, free college, free tuition. This guy's happy. That was Ted Cruz in college. And towns. But bad news for Democrats facing the voters. Biden's poll ratings on immigration are just 35% positive, 59% negative. And most of those are Latinos who came here. A lot of them, I should say, not most, came here and did it the right way legally. They don't want this shit either. You guys know it's a power grab.
Starting point is 00:16:20 We've explained it a million times. I can't say it again. It makes me want to play a trumpet. There's no trumpet in there. I hear that every time I bite into an enchilada. In contrast, President Donald Trump, he's so much, do you guys understand? This guy was supposed to be the adult to take over and fix all the things. Trump boosted his polling support in Mexico when he blocked migrants at the border.
Starting point is 00:16:53 Even Mexico was for it. That decision, because they were coming through Mexico, remember? From all over. Also sharply reduced the cartel-managed mass migration through Mexico, okay? Where is he when we need him? I am your voice. You're not kidding me. So how the fuck, I mean, let me just say something, Demick. Oh, by the way, I think we already mentioned this. San Francisco district attorney was
Starting point is 00:17:20 officially recalled. That's not a good sign. When people in San Francisco go, no, this guy's too left. Not a good sign for you people. Listen, it doesn't matter what Biden does from here on in. He could save 12 schoolchildren in a fire. Doesn't matter. You guys have fucked up so bad. You can coast. Republicans, you can coast November. People are soap and they're right people. Parents, you know, Latinos. You know, blacks are bailing on the Democrats. This is a wet dream. We've been waiting for this for years.
Starting point is 00:17:56 Now, if we can finally start talking and saying filthy, unpolitically correct shit, we'll be back to where we belong. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. In our make me a sandwich segment tonight, the newspaper that broke Watergate continues
Starting point is 00:18:16 to be broken by Tweetgate as fed up reporter begged her whistleblower colleague to mute her attacks on bosses and co- coworkers after they described the newsroom as collegial. This is the Washington Post we're talking about. Bezos' far left mouthpiece that he owns. Please stop.
Starting point is 00:18:38 This is interesting. This woman is such a twat. Please stop. Not the one who's asking her to stop. The one she's telling to stop. Tweeted Washington Post reporter Lisa Rain at a fellow staffer, Felicia Somez. She's the, she's the, the one on the right is Felicia, right? Yeah. Everything that's wrong with the world. Who continued her social media onslaught Tuesday,
Starting point is 00:19:05 despite the suspension of politics writer David Weigel for not even tweeting a joke, retweeting somebody else's joke, that she, the girl on the right, deemed as sexist, proving once again there's a million useful idiots who bought into this PC horseshit that has divided us. You're one of them, whore. Please hang yourself in a closet in front of your children. What?
Starting point is 00:19:30 Will you shut up? I didn't mean it. Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? All right. Sarmaz Tweetstorm came after Sally Busby, hell of a softball player. Sally Busby. Went to school with a Busby, hell of a softball player, Sally Busby, went to school with a Busby, the Washington
Starting point is 00:19:46 Post executive editor circulated a stern memo, a copy of which was obtained by CNN. Why? Because they work hand in hand, warning reporters to stop attacking colleagues either face-to-face or online, meaning Sarmaz, really. Sarmaz sounds like something you take to fall asleep. I'd let her blow me. I'm like, then I'd cut her head off and put it in the freezer
Starting point is 00:20:11 right next to my turkey. It followed a missive she issued over the weekend as the Twitter storm brewed in which Busby wrote, we are a collegial and creative newsroom doing an astonished, first of all, she's full of shit. She's talking about the newsroom doing an astonishing amount of important groundbreaking journalism. One of the great strengths of our newsroom is our collaborative spirit, except for this yeast infection on pumps.
Starting point is 00:20:40 After the second memo, some of the paper's most prominent journalists chimed in to calm the boiling tempers at the Jeff Bezos-owned dogshit paper. Their tweets included nearly identical language. This was creepy, professing how proud they are to work at the newspaper and the collegial attitude in the newsroom. I didn't, because I was making the article too long, but there's about five people that work there that use the exact same language. It's creepy. It's like their boss said, you put this out there or you're gone.
Starting point is 00:21:16 Sarmaz quickly, I kind of like her with this, she fucking, she's just an asshole. Sarmaz quickly mocked the idea that her place of work was collegial. She's a malignant cunt. Yeah, that's what we hear over there. She blasted management for not forcing another reporter, Jose Del Real, to delete earlier tweets criticizing her attack on Weigel, who was sidelined for a month without pay on Monday.
Starting point is 00:21:45 These tweets falsely accusing me of clout, this is Sámez talking, clout chasing, bullying, cruelty, and directing an eager mob to carry out a barrage of online abuse are still up. These tweets are still up. Even after I repeatedly raised them to management,
Starting point is 00:22:03 noted that I've been receiving threats and abuse. She's always a victim, Saumas said. You fucking whore. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Go home. Get my dinner ready. My favorite quote ever.
Starting point is 00:22:16 She then sarcastically added collegial. That finally prompted Rain to issue her two-word plea for Saumas. Please stop. Can I just give Miss Rain a little tip? When you want somebody to do something, if you put please in front of it, it ain't gonna do shit. You gotta threaten her physically with a chainsaw or a kitchen knife or pliers and a blowtorch. But Sonmez persisted, slamming Del Real for blocking her on Twitter. So I hear the Washington Post is a collegial workplace, she wrote, and shared a screenshot of Del Real making his Twitter account inaccessible to her. Stop!
Starting point is 00:22:59 Thank you. Del Real was the first Washington Post reporter to publicly criticize Somnath for her reactions to Weigel's retweet of a joke by YouTube podcast host Cam Harless. Cam Harless, this is his tweet. Every girl is bi. You just have to figure out if it's polar or sexual. It's a great line. A great line.
Starting point is 00:23:23 Only a feminist whore who thinks her pussy is above the fray and is actually made of diamonds and gold would have a problem with it. Get the fuck over your pussy, Ms. Sonmez. Okay? That's a funny line. And you know what? Nine out of ten, maybe ten out of ten guys wouldn't want to hang with a woman who wouldn't find that funny.
Starting point is 00:23:42 You're a humorless fucking witch, and that's what feminism has done to a couple generations abroad. You're disgusting. Every girl is bi, you just have to figure out if it's polar or sexual. Read the original tweet. Even Hillary had a good one. She loved it. Hillary loved it because she's both. Busby's memo had pleaded for cooler heads to prevail. So Ms. Sámez is hated by her colleagues over there. But you know what? Bezos and Washington Post, again, you've fomented this politically correct stifling environment over the last 20-something years with your publication.
Starting point is 00:24:24 And so you're part of the problem. Now you don't like it when people start turning their guns on you. You all should be dismissed. This good. Oh, Colonel Hogan. Let me have a sip of my diarrhea. See if it goes through my hillbilly tooth. Got to be in a dentist chair 8 o'clock on Tuesday morning. You understand you might as well be waking me up at 4 a.m.? I can't leave the house until I clean out my pipes. You know what I mean? So I got to set the clock for 4.30. I'm in a horrible habit of eating about, I'm not kidding you, three bowls of like,
Starting point is 00:25:07 you know, healthy cereal. It's a great snack at night. That's why I weigh 222. Let's move on. Oh, who's it? Blaming Amy. Blaming Amy. Amy who? My old friend, Amy Schumer, Blaming Amy, Amy who? My old friend Amy Schumer, who again I liked for a while until she refused to plug my last special on her website. And that's all you're going to do for me. You can hate me. You could burn down my house. I'll still hang with you. But when you think you're better than me, morally making a judgment, you can go fucking suck your mother's ass Amy Procter and Gamble is blaming comedian Amy Schumer for a tampon shortage I do too she's probably putting ketchup on him and eating him there you go Amy sell that soul sell it
Starting point is 00:26:00 floss with that string yet. Whom I don't. Tony Soprano eating. Blaming comedian Amy Schumer for a tampon shortage. Saying sales have soared since she started. You know why she's so believable as somebody who's on the rag?
Starting point is 00:26:22 Since she started a series of commercials for the corporation almost two years ago. I don't know if that's true. You're fucking crazy. She is. She's cool. Remember online there was guys taking tampons,
Starting point is 00:26:40 maybe women too, used tampons and putting them in their drinks like they were calling it, you know, a bloody Mary or whatever. Yeah, I tried it. I didn't like it. I found one on the sidewalk. Schumer, yummy, yummy, Schumer 41 appeared in advertisements for Tampax, America's most popular tampon brand. I'd rather go with Brawny.
Starting point is 00:27:05 They suck up the... Owned by Procter & Gamble. Isn't that a great business to be in? Huh? Yeah, Procter. Procter & Gamble. What a great business to be in because think about how many vaginas are out there.
Starting point is 00:27:22 You know what I mean? Aiming to normalize conversations about menstruation because think about how many vaginas are out there. You know what I mean? Aiming to normalize conversations about menstruation in July 2020. That was the goal of their commercials, to normalize the conversation. Why do you agree? I mean, for hundreds of years, we're fine with it. They set up these straw men like,
Starting point is 00:27:45 ooh, we can't talk. It's still taboo. It's so much fucking bullshit. Retail sales growth has exploded. This is good news for Amy, by the way. If they believe she's like the Jared of tampons, unless they find her diddling a... Has exploded. Spokesman Cherry McMatch... Cherry...
Starting point is 00:28:03 Cherry... Told Time Magazine, saying demand is up 7.7%. Bad news for husbands, since the commercials aired nearly two years ago. According to McMaster, the company is running its Tampax factory in Maine. All the trees they're cutting down, 24 hours a day. See, women, it's not us. You're moody to try and keep up with the demand. Millions of spotted owls have no place to live because you're bleeding like a
Starting point is 00:28:32 stuck pig. Time reports that Tampax tampons are currently hard to come by. That's why I'm selling them on the black market in many parts of the country, with Amazon sellers taking advantage of the shortage. In January, the magazine reports one box of Tampax listed
Starting point is 00:28:48 for $114. That's about $6 more per tampon than women usually pay. It's probably because men can menstruate now too and they're all in the boys' bathrooms. That is actually a great
Starting point is 00:29:03 point. My vagina's angry. That's Bill saying that. It is. It's pissed off. Good point there, Dallas. My vagina is furious. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:14 No, you're right. The Post has reached out to both Schumer and Procter & Gamble. We got a video here. I don't even know what it is, but let's check it out. No. Someone just got her, period. What size do you need what it is, but let's check it out. No. Someone just got her period. What size do you need? Wait, there's more than one size?
Starting point is 00:29:29 Yes. Your flow changes, and so should the size of your Tampax. Huh. Only Tampax has five sizes. If it hurts to remove, go down. If it leaks, go up. I'll take a regular for today, and for tomorrow, a super. Nice.
Starting point is 00:29:44 Tampax, the only tampon with a leak guard braid to help give you more leak-free periods. Time to Tampax? I feel bad for girls. You got to go, hmm, do I go with two rolls of bounty or maybe a couple of cotton balls? Wait, it's enough shit in the life to worry about. But you know what? You deserve it. As Led Zeppelin once said. Something about, I can't remember the exact, what is it?
Starting point is 00:30:20 Everybody talking, few of them know, soul of a woman was created below. Yeah, right below the belly button. Anyways, Amy, come on now. According to Time, Procter & Gamble posted its biggest sales gain in decades in the most recent quarter. And the amount of money it's, you know who she is? That's perfect. Guaranteed there's jelly in there. She is the lily, you know, AT&T's lily? She's the lily of tampons.
Starting point is 00:30:57 I bet you they're going to offer her big bucks if everybody's buying it. Money made from sales and feminine care division was up 10%. But the magazine appears skeptical of P&G's claim that Schumer is responsible for the shortage, questioning whether contemporary commercials alone actually have the power to move products out the door. Well, let's say Lily, there's no doubt about that one, plus other brands of tampons, the ones I use, including Playtex, are
Starting point is 00:31:20 also in short supply, and they don't have the star of train wreck to blame, meaning Amy. Hound dog is going to eat that pussy. Hey, take it easy. Time claims the COVID-19 pandemic is partially responsible as cotton, plastic, paper pulp, and rope used to make tampons have been in high demand to make masks and other personal protective equipment, putting pressure on the supply chain. We need more rags. Factory closures
Starting point is 00:31:51 and staff shortages have also contributed to the show. How much more are we going to blame COVID on? Every buck in formula. Unbelievable, huh? Just unbelievable. Let's move on, shall we? huh just unbelievable let's move on shall we head over heels an australian woman has revealed how her longtime boyfriend blocked her on social media get this and shacked up with another woman gets better folks while she was in a coma after a devastating accident you're a crumb creep boy are you ever fella perth native brie duval 25 years old was living in canada cute little girl uh cute girl when i say little girl uh who does she look like she looks like somebody on king queen uh canada with her partner of four years when she fell head first from a parking garage first of all now that I know that he blows her off while she's in a coma, did she fall headfirst? Did she have some help from a parking garage after a night
Starting point is 00:32:53 out with friends on August 29th of 2021? Jesus Christ. Take a look at the video. are you gonna be all right why are you talking to me i need an ambulance don't you love how i play a clip of a guy falling off i'm sorry but i stumbled over that and uh super joe needs to make he's dead by the way uh too bad for that, bud. He's got a home. DeVal was rushed by helicopter to the University of Alberta Hospital, where she was placed on life support.
Starting point is 00:33:36 How the fuck did she survive this? With a traumatic brain injury. And why can't we see footage? You know those cameras all over the parking lot? And multiple broken bones. God, that must have hurt like an mfr the brave woman told the mayor she was in a coma for four weeks that would be a month and doctors told her mother that uh there was about a 10 chance she'd survive the catastrophic injury miraculously god bless her she emerged from the catastrophic injury. Miraculously, God bless her, she emerged from the coma
Starting point is 00:34:05 and showed signs of improvement only to experience more anguish when she discovered her boyfriend had ghosted her on social media. Well, nobody wants to date a girl with a flat head. That's her. You blew that off? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:19 What the fuck's the matter with you? What's the matter with you? What the fuck's the matter with you? And moved in with another woman. Oh, these guys are real. She says, I was finally given my phone, and my first thought was to call him and just see if he knew what happened.
Starting point is 00:34:35 He hadn't been to see me. Well, that's not a good sign. So I open my phone, going to message him, when a message pops up from the woman that says, I am now with so-and-so. I have moved him out. He's now living with me and my son. Please do not contact him, she said, describing the other woman's heartbreaking message. Well, that woman, boy, they found each other. I have not heard from him since I've been in hospital. He's completely and utterly left me in the dust.
Starting point is 00:35:21 So I don't even have closure as to why this happened. and utterly left me in the dust, so I don't even have closure as to why this happened. I'm guessing the fucking cannonball you did off the parking lot, who remained hospitalized for five months receiving treatment. Making matters worse for her was not being able to see her parents after the accident due to travel restrictions amid the coronavirus pandemic. What a horrible. The traumatic brain injury survivor, now shares her experience of what it was like being in a coma
Starting point is 00:35:50 and her recovery journey on TikTok under the username at hotcomagirl1. At hotcomagirl1. I don't like the way girls refer to themselves as hot now, where she has racked up thousands of views. See, it would have been great if she stayed in the call line. I would have just, if I was a board fan, I would have just climbed on her and said, I visit you every night.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Finally tonight, yeah? Yep. Finally tonight on the final day, the final story of the week actually, barely B-E-A-R dash L-Y, survived, anyone who spends time in bear country
Starting point is 00:36:36 is fucking crazy in my opinion I love them, they're one of my favorite animals you guys, I'd rather die by a shark attack, my wife cutting my balls off while I'm napping. Big black, a bear to me is just, that would be scary, because you smell him, he's on top, he's fucking. Anyone who spends time in bear country, also, I did, University of Maine, black bears. True story, they had fences on campus to keep the bears off the campus.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Always entertains the idea that they could be charged by a bear, but never truly imagines it's happening until it does. Look at the face on that. Good looking Amy Schumer. All you can do is be prepared. Running into a bear will get your heart pumping pretty goddamn fast. How does this guy know? Who's talking about that? They don't fucking know, you know. On its own, but when the bear acts aggressive, it hits a whole new level. Look at that fucking thing. Imagine the breath on that.
Starting point is 00:37:37 He just had seven pounds of salmon and ate another bear's ass. This video shows a man in Ontario, Canada, hunting with a recurve bow and arrow. Alone, it's impressive enough. Recurve hunting takes an incredible amount of knowledge and skill to be successful. That's why I carry a cannon. The man seems to be crouched behind some brush, but then a black bear is seen walking along roadside through some grass oh my god hello as the bear gets closer oh god the tension builds the hunter starts to draw back and seems to
Starting point is 00:38:19 startle the bear holy bugger in a flash it charges the man the last time that bear is seen on camera it's lunging at the man as he seems to drop his phone and fall down while trying to get away from the and that's that was we'll play the clip you can hear the fear and he's like
Starting point is 00:38:39 dude I would have I don't know if they tell you to play dead but I'm not that good an actor. That takes a lot of balls to fall down and go, I'll just stay right here. You know, fucking, I don't know. Check this out. This would have made anybody die. Go ahead.
Starting point is 00:38:56 Quad. Quad. Quad. Quad. Quad. Quad. Quad. Quad.
Starting point is 00:39:09 You sister's cunt. Is that a little frog? Or a leaf? Now listen to what he says. He swears in French. Watch. Watch. I should have shot him a long time ago tabarnak
Starting point is 00:39:29 scare me that guy tabarnak that means like fuck me or whatever alright my buddy Tony Seymour again grew up in
Starting point is 00:39:44 Augusta, Maine. Why am I tearing myself? And he always used to say that up at school. Tabarnaka. That's what they French. He goes, I should have shot it a long time ago. Where did it go? I would have died of fright.
Starting point is 00:39:58 My fucking heart would have went right through my... That was no little pussy bear that you see in New Jersey climbing through somebody's kitchen. That was Amy Schumer-like. That is it for the week, ladies and gentlemen. Again, thank you so much for tuning in. I want to thank all of our patrons for supporting the show monthly by subscribing at patreon.com.
Starting point is 00:40:25 Also, thecomicsgym.com. There are three different levels with different benefits for supporting the show. Everyone who signs up to one of the levels gets access to an extra story every Monday. That's the monthly subscriber. You get an extra story Monday through Thursday. And access to archives as well as the toll-free voicemail line. Wrong. That we put up every other week where you can leave me a message and say, where's the voicemail line?
Starting point is 00:40:55 And maybe have it right on the air. And maybe have it right on the air. What the fuck? Higher levels get a free show mug. All right? And other benefits. This week, I'd like to welcome our newest patrons, Canadian Bacon. I love it.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Canadian Bacon, Rebecca, Reverend Gucci Flip-Flop, OU812. Get it? OU812. Hello. Dave White. Thank you, Dave, for signing up using the pay annually option. So you don't have to
Starting point is 00:41:30 do it every month. You can pay for the whole year and not worry about it, which is a smart way to do it. You can also support the show with an automatic monthly payment through PayPal like these guys did by going to nickdip.com,
Starting point is 00:41:46 clicking on Nick DiPaolo Show, then click on Recurring Monthly Contribution. So thank you guys. And I want to thank especially the guys who did that. Justin Olson, Marco Massari, Wade Sabatini. Of course, we count on one-time contributions to keep the show going as well. And these other folks that did that at NickDip.com.
Starting point is 00:42:08 Scott Carsten of Virginia. Franz Grissom, Oklahoma. Buddy Kit Fortney, Michigan. Ryan Dragonfly, Wolfram Foster. Dragonfly, Wolfram Foster. Oh, yeah. The Ryan threw me off. Dragonfly, Wolfram Foster, Oregon. The Ryan threw me off. Dragonfly, Wolfs and Foster, Oregon.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Jennifer Montgomery of Pennsylvania. Buddy Paul Sagnell, a former lover of my wife, apparently. Connecticut. Janet White, Washington. John Vassar of Virginia. Brock, ooh, Brock Alaney. I love Brock Alaney. Missouri. Mothers Against Alaini. Missouri.
Starting point is 00:42:46 Mothers Against Drunk Democrats, Kentucky. Steve O'Reilly of Massachusetts. Arnie Segielski, Wisconsin. Spencer Hodgson of Texas. George Armies, Canada, or Arms. Neil Scuderi. Look at Neil Scuderi at Tennessee. Come on. Thank you guys very much. Canada or arms. Neil Scuderi. Welcome, Neil Scuderi. That is he.
Starting point is 00:43:05 Come on. Thank you guys very much. Honestly, we can't do it without you. That is it. You guys think and I'll say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you guys on Monday, right? Have a great weekend, everybody.
Starting point is 00:43:24 Talk to you soon. Oh, yeah. guitar solo Outro Music

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