The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kamala Does Great Trump Impression | Nick Di Paolo Show #552

Episode Date: June 8, 2021

Cold welcome for Harris in Guatemala. Venezuelans pour into Texas border region. Woman poses as 13yo daughter.

🎵 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome to the big show on a Tuesday. We got our buddy Benjamin running the board. That's right. Big day for the kid. He gets this right and he'll be working for the History Channel. Nice to have you aboard, folks. How are you?

First of all, before I forget, I want to say a big happy birthday to our girl Sherry, also known as Bunny Galore, who's been with us for quite a few years now. And she is one of the most, in my opinion, one of the most valuable employees here at Acid Tongue Productions. So happy birthday, Bunny. I suggest you go to Denny's, get that free omelet and, you know, do what you usually do. Get a nice little Mexican male prostitute, like last year. All righty. Let's get to it. Kamala Harris. Can you see? I said this yesterday. I think it's a brilliant observation. I think she already realizes she's in over her head.

observation, I think she already realizes she's in over her head, you know what I mean, she's so excited, it's like when I was an actor, and I'd go on an audition, and study the sides for a week, and get all excited, and every once in a while, you actually get the job, you're like, oh Jesus, I got it, now I gotta fucking show up and act at 6 a.m. I don't really want to do this she sort of has that uh oh boy she hasn't even been to the border in this country yet now she's over in Guatemala and I just got a feeling she's in over her head it's one thing just to be a prosecutor or district whatever the fuck she was in LA and you, you know, just yap, yap, yap, say politically correct shit. Now you're thrown into the fire and you're under the microscope. Even with a friendly media who treat you like with kid gloves, she still to me is,

I don't know, she's not going to quit because she, I think she took the job knowing she might be president in three minutes. Anyways, so she got a cold welcome in Guatemala. I don't know what she was expecting there, but we have a little video of the people that greeted her when she got there. And apparently they're not happy to see her. I guess Guatemala is a big pro-life country and, you know, again, more conservative than you realize. But here's some footage of her, the people waiting for her in Guatemala. Trump won.

Somebody's got guests. Go home whore. I translated that. I looked it up. Go. Can you imagine landing and seeing a sign that says Trump won? Oh, my God. She should have just came out and went, we know that, but that's not important now.

I'm here. Nobody believes her, not even Guatemala. That just made my day, seeing that, you know. But then you'll see Biden tomorrow going, we've won the respect back of the world. All the countries now respect us. Now that Trump is gone. Everybody knows you're a farce.

Everybody. And I got a story coming up later on, again, out of Georgia, about auditing, and it's coming out, folks. It's all coming out. And they're still saying baseless this, baseless that. Anyways, so Kamala Harris, while she was over there, addressed the immigration issue, the one that Joe Biden put her in charge charge of i didn't even pull this story i saw it at the last minute i should have you know what she was doing yesterday handing out cookies

of image of her just like no face on the cookie but her you could tell it was her hair and shit with no that's what she was doing yesterday we We have half of Central America pouring in our borders. She's fucking handing out cookies, a likeness of herself. You know they're very bitter. Do you fucking believe that? I want to know who made them. Even Hillary's like,

look, I said 30 years ago, women shouldn't be in the kitchen baking cookies. She's in over her fucking head. So she spoke about what's going on at the border. She's emphasizing the need to restore hope for residents of struggling Central American nations to help address the increase in migration from the region. Her comments came at the start of her bilateral meeting with Guatemalan President Alejandro Gimetay, Gimetay, I don't know how to say it, in Guatemala City on Monday. She plans to address everything from vaccine sharing to yeast infections in her favorite shoes.

No, from vaccine sharing to corruption in the region. But in her opening remarks, she emphasized the need for both leaders to act to improve the situation for Guatemalans, whom she said don't want to leave their homeland, but are forced to by poor living conditions. And I say to her, Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! Shut up! Vice P. Harris told migrants not to come to America saying they won't be let in.

She does the best Donald Trump impression you thought all these other late night comedians had. I mean, she must have stole one of his speeches. Keep in mind, this is the shit she was bad mouthing Trump for for the last four or five years. This could have been ripped from one of his speeches about immigration. Here's what she had to say. This is dope. To folks in this region who are thinking about making that dangerous trek They're bringing drugs. They're bringing crime. They're rapists. Do not come. Do not come. Do not come.

I am your voice. The United States will continue to enforce our laws and secure our border. Look, pause. She's not even into it. Can you tell? Can you tell she's not even into it? Her body language, she slowed her rhythm down. We will continue.

She's almost looking down in shame. I don't know who made her say it, but these sure aren't her words. It's such a mess at the border, she had to say it. Okay, let the old lady speak some more. There are legal methods by which migration can and should occur. Yeah. Yes, exactly what the big orange monster said that you hated so much. Oh, my God.

Great impression, though. Ah, how does that crow taste, honey? Since being named B czar by Biden, VP Harris has not held a press conference on the issue or visited the U.S.-Mexican border. I ought to be on top of things, bitch. Oh, my God. That had to kill her. Do you understand? That had to kill her.

Do you understand? That had to kill her. That would be like making one of the squad, let's say Tlaib, say the national anthem. It's got a hurt inside. Like I said, never send a chick to do a man's job. What? Holy shit, I could get kicked off the internet, but nobody knows I'm

even here. Fucking assholes. Oh, that had to hurt. Did that not make you harder than a shark's tooth? Hearing that broad. Anyhow, 10,864 Venezuelans. Now, we're off Guatemala. This is Venezuelans now. I'll repeat that number for you because you probably don't believe me. 10,864 Venezuelans pour into Texas border region up from, get this, a little bit of an increase. I couldn't even do the math, and I'm very good at math.

I got a D minus in calculus. Over 10,000 this year, up from 135 last year. Not 135,000, 135 people. That's a little bit of an increase. I'm no math genius. Any given day in Del Rio, Texas, hundreds of Venezuelans wade across the Rio Grande from Mexico into the United States, hoping to become relief pitchers for the Houston Astros. Nah, just busting chops. They're carrying more belongings than illegal aliens from most other countries.

One woman was carrying a Mercedes Benz and her 12 kids. The other one had a cooler of Corona and a guy had a sandwich. One woman who said she was a photographer or a photographer, as I say, back home, had her professional Nikon camera equipment in her backpack. She wanted to get still photos of her kids being molested by coyotes, I guess. They arrive on shore and proceed to change into dry clothes. They even bring a second set of... I don't even do that when I have a fucking audition. Tossing the wet ones on the ground like they do in their third-row shithole.

Discarded shoes, many looking new, dot the pathway from the river in two main locations. Some pull out toothbrushes. I don't believe it. What next? Deodorant and soap? Get out of here! Toothbrushes and clean their teeth. I'm glad the guy who wrote the article explained what the toothbrush is for. I thought they were cleaning their carburetors.

The Carrizo cane, whatever that is, next to the dirt road rustles. Oh, it's like sugar cane. It's a plant. It rustles. As many find cover to go to the bathroom. So that's the first thing they do here. The second thing, after they shit on our Constitution, then they shit on our ground. Welcome!

Coastal State! Hello, welcome to America. State troopers are usually on site in a large dusty parking area to greet them and pass out water, as well as granola bars. Oh my goodness gracious. Huh? Already, they're not even set foot and they get granolas and water. We're spoiling these people. I think they're lying to me. It's probably lobster tails and shit like that and cocaine to the hungry people. The

wrappers are often discarded from the granola bars on the ground as they do in their third world shithole countries unless a law enforcement officer points them to the trash bin. Apparently they're blind too. They just don't respect our culture. Although I've been known to litter, let's be honest. I threw a used condom in the holy water at church when I was in high school. Now listen, that was not called for. Sometimes a trooper will take a photo

of the group, count how many there are, and find out where they're from. Many of the new arrivals are quick to pull out their, why don't you have me as a comedian over there when they come over? I can go, you know, hey, how you doing? Welcome, folks. What do you do for a living, sir? Ma'am? Coyote, okay. Arrivals are quick to pull out their smartphones. Oh, they're so poor. Oh, they're so poor. They all have smartphones. And call loved ones to say they made it.

I think we got one of the calls. Is this moron number one? Oh, good English. Put moron number two on the phone. Well said. No accent or anything. But I think we have some video of these people pouring over. And, you know, it's just, all I know is I see Nike emblems on some of the clothes. What a fucking universal cult that has turned into.

But here's some of the people straggling into our country as Vice President Harris is in Guatemala not paying attention. And hitting up cookies. Children of the Corn. Why are you wearing a leather jacket? It's $112. I feel bad for the kids. This poor guy's sweating. Look at the back. Oh, he's got Louis Vuitton luggage. Oh, he's got Louis Vuitton luggage. I'm supposed to feel empathy, and I'm not feeling anything.

You hear the coughing? That's either yellow fever or COVID, but they won't be tested. There's a glad bag full of clothes. That's a good sign. How long before he's selling dope in El Paso? Do you believe that shit? What is this? What the hell's going on out here? I don't know, Vince.

It's just so ridiculous. It really is. Then everyone waits for Border Patrol to come scoop them up. It's sort of like your local Home Depot in the morning at 7 a.m. when half of Mexico is waiting, which, you know what, I like those guys because they're here to work and whatever, but it's still not right. So the Border Patrol is going to scoop them up. It can take anywhere from 10 minutes to more than two hours as the agency scrambles to keep up with the overwhelming influx. Bags are tossed into the van, bodies piled in the back before they're whisked to

the processing center and then released. See, folks, there's the difference. See, then they're released into our country. They hand them some ticket. I don't even know if they even bother going through the formalities now. Remember, you'd hand your debt and you're supposed to show up a year later for your hearing. I don't even know if they bother doing that now. They get picked up, and then another vehicle takes them to any city in the country. It's just fucking madness. In just the last seven days, our agents have encountered over, this is in a week, 5,800 migrants from 29 different countries. I'm sure they're all savory characters. Del Rio Sector Border Patrol Chief Austin

Scarrow wrote on Twitter on June 4th, during the same time, 63 smuggling attempts were caught on our highways. Do you guys see what's going on here? They want to change the demographic of this country permanently, make it nice and brown so the Democrats will be in power for the next thousand years. Luckily, I'm 59 and hopefully I'll find the lump on my neck

in about 10 years and be out of this mother bugger. More than 119,000 illegal aliens from 70 countries have been apprehended in the sector the fiscal year, which began October 1st of last year. Del Rio is a city

of just over 35,000, unless you count the migrants pouring in, then it's 650 million. 35,000 people, while nearby Eagle Pass, where I have a duplex, has about 30,000. The region is mostly ranch land. The number of Venezuelans coming in is immense in this sector alone, with four months to go in the fiscal year. 10,864 Venezuelans have been apprehended by Border Patrol. Those are just the ones we caught, according to Customs and Border Patrol Protection. Over 10,000, did you hear me? Son of a whore!

Yes, yes, son of a whore, yes. Very. Son of a whore. Yes. The country has been very, very good to me. By comparison for the whole of fiscal 2020, 135 Venezuelans, a little bit of an increase, were apprehended. And where the fuck is Biden and Kamala? Many Venezuelans told the Epoch Times, I want to know if Joe knew she was going to say that. Apparently.

Because you don't really believe they even talk to each other, do you? He must have shit his pants. He's sitting there in his robe last night, squishing through the news, and he's going, that whore! Who told her to say that? And AOC comes in and goes, relax, I did. Everything's fine.

Anyways, they told the Epoch Times that they flew into Cancun, then Monterey in Mexico, before crossing the river into Del Rio. Some came via Colombia. A large portion, all of Central and South America is going to be living here.

A large portion intend to live in Florida. Particularly in Lando, because apparently these greaseballs love those Disney characters. Also, they're going to move to Tampa and Miami, which isn't diverse enough as it is,

where they already have family members. That's what I don't get. Some of the kids' parents are already here and they trust coyotes and shit to get them here. The surge has mainly occurred over the past few months. On March 8th, the Biden administration said it would grant temporary protected status

to Venezuelans already in the United States, allowing an estimated, get this, 320,000 people to apply to legally live and work in the country States, allowing an estimated, get this, 320,000 people to apply to legally live and work in the country for 18 months. And whose jobs are they going to take? Poor people's, Americans. Black people ain't happy about this. Neither are legal Mexicans and a lot of other people.

That's why Trump did so well. Do you get it? Temporary protected status, you know what that is? It's created in 1990. It grants citizens of eligible nations the ability to stay if they can safely return to their home country because of natural disaster. They can't return to their home countries because of natural disasters, armed conflicts, or other factors. return of the home countries because of natural disasters, armed conflicts, or other factors. They have no intent on going back.

Citizens of 12 countries are in the United States with temporary protected status. The largest come from that really peaceful, beautiful country of El Salvador. You may notice a lot more tattoos and, you know, machetes and shit at the 7-Eleven when you're in there to pick up a clockwork and you have your nuts cut off. El Salvador, Honduras, and Haiti. Many with United States citizen. Many with U.S. citizen children and spouses. Nationals from Somalia. Oh, my God.

You guys, Sudan, Syria, Yemen. Yeah, no, they're not on a terrorist list, right? No, not at all. Are you shitting me? They show up, they have seaweed in their hair and a fucking pipe bomb in their fucking Hello Kitty book bag. All right, I exaggerate for fun. And Yemen also have, they're all here just,

they're good people. Temporary, they have temporary protected status. The Trump administration had sought to phase out the program, arguing that it had effectively become permanent residency after repeated extensions, sometimes for decades, not months, not weeks, decades. So Trump had it under control. You heard Kamala. As such, President Donald Trump didn't grant temporary protected status of Venezuelans, but he did issue an order deferring deportation for a smaller number of Venezuelans on his final day in office. What a racist. Oh my God, he just hates brown people. Poor Texas. How could you live on those books? Can you imagine?

You wake up in the morning and there's sombreros and used condoms and burrito shells. It's hard. This guy's such a racist. He's using all those stereotypes. He's painting with a broad brush. Now, that's what the illegals do when you're paying four bucks an hour. Your garage is done in 10 minutes.

Now, that's what the illegals do when you pay them $4 an hour. Your garage is done in 10 minutes. Let's move on to some lighter fare, shall we? Benjamin, you're doing a great job, by the way. Kid's right on top of it. Let's move on to, oh, you know, it's kind of related because this woman was also in the state of Texas, doesn't really have anything. I can tell she's cuckoo already. Pretty eyes.

You got pretty eyes. Los ojos. I think that's eyes. It might have been tits. I don't know. This woman here, what did she do? She posed as a 13-year-old. Can you imagine? I got to be honest with you. A lot of 13-year-olds, I know, I hang out with them.

They're starting to look like it. A Texas woman was arrested after spending an entire day at middle school posing as her 13-year-old daughter and documenting her experience online because she needs attention. As administrators and most teachers fail to notice, can you imagine? She's a mother. She's 30 years old and nobody picked up on it. There's the people that are teaching your kids, really sharp people. Casey Garcia, 30, of San Elisario, has since been arrested and charged with criminal trespass and tampering with government records, KWTX reported. The El Paso County Sheriff's Office was first alerted on June 1st to several social media posts circulating online documenting the incident.

Just look in her eyes. What do you see? That's right. That's right. The incident happened at Garcia Enriquez Middle School in San Elisario. Is this our country? I can't tell from the middle. The middle school is named after Garcia Enriquez. Now, who is that?

That's right. Utility third baseman for the Mets. Early 70s. And San Elisario, located 20 miles southeast of El Paso. Just call it Mexico. Just give it to them already. Oh, my God. Anyways, let me explain my take on this. Well, I guess we'll watch her. She actually goes to the school with a hoodie and glasses on this is her daughter's school and she doesn't really

reveal what her plan is until after which makes me uh anyways let's look at the video i'll give you my take of a middle school they're kind of like am i going the right way yeah and just so you know right here this building is a library okay this building is oh my goodness i would have never found my way look at the bags on her okay she's supposed to be a 13 year old middle schooler if that was the case i would have stayed back i'd still be in third grade okay thank you so much with all the music that's what they told me pause so the woman that the teacher that just went by didn't pause so the woman that the the teacher that just went by didn't recognize she's you know like a fucking 38 double d

you know all right let her roll cut oh that's all that's all i showed apparently i'm the one who likes Big Ten. She was let or taken into custody at her home. In one video posted to YouTube titled, Going to School as My 13-Year-Old Daughter, Middle School Edition, girl seen wearing a yellow hoodie, glasses, and a black face, entering the school, like we just showed you, she says, do I look like a seventh grader? She says to the people that are going to watch this, and she goes, no.

Cool. Awesome, she says. I don't like a mother, first of all, who spends her day online and says awesome. Garcia said she put on fake tanner, that's racist, and dyed her hair to better resemble her teen daughter, who apparently looked like a link from the

mod squad. Look, she's actually a good-looking woman. This is about her. It's got nothing to do with her daughter or school. Trust me. Trust me. Women with tits like that need attention around the clock. When she walked into the school,

she wrote down her daughter's ID number that she had memorized. She can be heard saying good morning to who she says was the principal. We need better. Now, this is what she comes up with later. She says we need better security at our schools. This is what I tried to prove. I could be wrong, but did you state that before you did this or did you come up with it afterwards? I really think, like many people, they just want to go viral and have their 15 minutes. I really do. This is what I tried to prove. There's a

million ways to do that without going incognito. Just try to sneak a fake handgun in or something. There's a million ways to prove that you don't have security there other than doing this. I'm sorry. I hate to be so cynical. Garcia said in a follow-up video, I didn't do this to get views. Do you see where I'm going with this? She's actually revealing herself. I didn't do this to get likes. Are you lying? I didn't do this so people would say, look at the fun bags on Mamma Mia. So people could be mad at me and I can never walk around El Paso again. She probably just found that out now. Do you really think we're buying this? Come on, lady. The teachers, she said, were so preoccupied about the students who are online that they weren't paying attention to these students who are actually physically there at the school, Garcia said.

I think the deal breaker for me was actually walking in and posing as a seventh grader. I mean, I'm no spring chicken, but it wasn't hard. I really think her chest might have given away. I don't know. These kids with all the, you know, these chickens, they have a ton of steroids in them. Who knows? The average 13-year-old might have a double D. If Matthew was here, I'd ask him.

Garcia was initially booked into the El Paso County detention facility on both charges and for an unrelated traffic warrant. county detention facility on both charges and for an unrelated traffic warrant. Her bonds totaled $7,908. She also documented her interactions with deputies when they first arrived to her home, which I didn't bother showing. But, you know, she comes out all looking pretty and shit. Anybody else see it my way?

Like I said, there's a million ways to reveal lax security at your kid's school without turning it to fucking, you know, somebody come up with something. Beretta? I don't know. Don't you see it that way, folks? There's so many people hurting for attention with such a media-driven society. It really amazes me. I guess she proved her point. I don't know. And she does it with a warrant out. And the cops came. She was very, you know, amiable. And they said, no, you have a warrant, And they said, no, you have a warrant, blah, blah, blah. But I wonder if she's getting flack from El Paso, like she said. Anyways, excuse me. It's the vape.

I coughed in the shower yesterday. I swear to God, like one quarter of my lung came out. You could hear it hit the tub. It sounded like somebody dropped a canned ham on a kitchen floor. It's like, ugh. And then I was pointing the shower thing at it, it wouldn't move. Some type of glue in there. I'll be dead soon is my point. Let's go from one crazy bitch to a Marxist asshole who's still lying. This is how I know. By the way, he is the devil. A lot of you white people were fooled by his charming smile and the fact, like Joe Biden said, he showers. That was so racist, Biden. But he is the racial arsonist who started all this shit. You can thank him for BLM

and TIPA because he was a, what was he? Do you remember before he became a politician? because he was a, what was he? Do you remember before he became a politician? A community organizer. Trust me, this guy is the devil incarnate. And I dislike him as much as you Democrats hate Trump. But anyways, this is how you know the Dems are nervous about the auditing that's going on as far as the last election and looking into fraud.

When they send this guy out, when he starts to show up to speak out against it, they're fucking nervous. They're nervous because everybody trusts him as far as Democrats go. Former president, I forget his name,

it's Barack. I suck cock. Obama said Monday during an interview with CNN's Anderson. Please give me a call. Cooper, that it is cause for concern

that the Republican Party cowed to former President Donald Trump's claims of fraud in the 2020 presidential election by passing restrictive voting laws. He's lying. He's a fucking liar. Okay, here's clip one. Obama says that we have to worry about the GOP

and, you know, where they're going after, you know, Trump being their lead. Just listen to this asswipe. I think we have to worry when one of our major political parties is willing to embrace a way of thinking about our democracy that would be unrecognizable and unacceptable even five years ago. He's saying the way the Republicans are thinking, wouldn't be acceptable or recognizable five or 10 years ago. Really? They're the ones,

they're the ones. It's not the Democrats who have gone full blown Marxist on us. Are you fucking kidding me? First of all, you spied on the incoming president, Jack off. How dare you even show your face. It's the fucking Republicans who have changed? How's that?

Burning and looting all summer? Those aren't Republicans, and your party didn't say shit about it. We're obviously in the middle of making a transition from a capitalist society to a fucking socialist slash Marxist society. And he's trying to say it's the Republicans who are acting unacceptable. You, oh my fucking.

You pompous, stock-up, snot-nosed, English, giant, twerp, scumbag, fuck-faced, dickhead, asshole. And the second clip, he says that the GOP cowed into what Trump believed. And he actually brings up, you know, Charlotte's. This is how you know he's full of shit. First of all, that first clip, the fact that he brought up the election to me is good news. Because he's nervous. They only send out the big guns. Trust me. He felt himself, he probably is the big gun that he had to go out there and give some credibility or credence to the argument that it was a fair election.

Now he's going to get into, you know, basically what he's saying here is Trump turned the Republicans into even more racist than they already were. I mean, he has the nerve to bring up Charlottesville, which has been debunked 70,000 fucking times. I was watching it that day when he said it. Wasn't referring to the fucking, to the idiot that ran over the woman. But here he is lying his face off again. I thought that there were enough guardrails institutionally that even after Trump was elected, that you would have the so-called Republican establishment who would say, okay, it's a problem if the White House doesn't seem to be concerned about Russian meddling. Pause.

So he did an investigation. Stupid. $140 million in what, three years of investigating? 60 trillion emails. Didn't find an ounce of Russian collusion or meddling with the election. Oh, wait a minute. They took out a couple hundred thousand in Facebook ads, I think. Do you guys understand this is desperation on their part? Let the dummy finish. It's a problem if we have a president who's saying that, you know, neo-Nazis marching in Charlottesville, there are good people on both sides.

The degree to which we did not see that Republican establishment say, hold on, time out, that's not acceptable, that's not who we are, but rather be cowed into accepting it. And then finally culminating in January 6th, where what originally was, oh, don't worry, this isn't going anywhere, we're just letting Trump and others vent. And then suddenly you now have large portions of an elected Congress going along with the falsehood. Who gives a fuck what you think?

How to jump in, Cooper. Anderson Cooper. I always reverse it. It's two last names. Big girl. Why didn't you jump in, stupid, and go, well, wasn't that debunked with the whole Mueller investigation

and shit? As far as the election goes, are you following what's going on? He doesn't even push back. He sits there dreaming about Obama's car going in and out of his mouth. Fucking couple of fruit cups having a conversation.

Can you imagine he's saying it's the Republican Party? And when he brings up Charlottesville, that's when you know they're desperate. It's been debunked even by people on the left. It's actually good news to see him come back

because they must be nervous. Wait till it all comes out. You guys are going to look like such assholes, just like you did after the Kavanaugh, just like the fucking Mullergate, and everything else, the two impeachments. You've been wrong about everything. So let's stay on election fraud.

Explosive evidence coming out of Georgia. Bernie Kerik. He used to be under Giuliani like the police chief in New York. I love this guy. Bernie Kerik, he actually did a little bit of jail time because he paid somebody to do an audition on his house or something. Anyway, Bernie Kerik on Steve Bannon's podcast, which is huge. And you think it would be. I want to meet Steve Bannon. I, which is huge, and you'd think it would be. I want to meet Steve Bannon.

I think he's a true patriot, and I just fucking love him. And he'll go, no, I ain't never seen this kid. Get him out of here. Get him out of here. Anyways, he was on with Steve Bannon on the podcast talking about what's going on in Georgia? Let's take a look. The Secretary of State for Georgia, he allowed that certification.

He had 174 missing batches in the Fulton County. How many votes is that, Bernie? 174. That's 17,400 ballots that were were missing and they knew about it there's no way they didn't know they had to know that would have put donald trump over the edge to win georgia just that alone but there's a lot more coming on and it's going to come out through these investigations there's subpoenas being issued. There's depositions being taken. I think you're going to see some explosive material in the next two or three weeks.

He's talking about Raffsenberger, the secretary of state of Georgia, who just recently came out and said, yes, we should do a recount. Remember? 17,400 missing ballots. And, yeah, Raftsenberg is a two-face. We've got to keep an eye on him. Oh, that dirty cogsucker. Oh, they will.

They will. They'll figure it out. And, by the way, Pennsylvania is watching this going, hey, interesting. So their legislatures went out to Arizona to see the facilities because maybe they're going to do the same thing. It's going to take a while to unravel. I don't know why they're going through all this. I would just point at the video where Detroit had cardboard around the windows or the guy pulling a fucking suitcase out at like 1 in the morning

or a truck pulling up at 6 in the morning. And all of a sudden, Biden went ahead by like 100,000 votes. Those are just baseless claims, right? Democrats, la-na-na. Oh my God, creepy. It is creep time. They'll get to the bottom of it. And you know what? Although in a perfect world, that would happen. And the Democrat Party should be dust. They should be thrown, as they say, in the dustbin of history. They should be now. Obviously, they're Marxists who hate this country.

And I can't believe people. They're not paying attention, I've got to believe, to people who have lives not like me. I get up in the morning, I smoke a big doobie, then I eat about 12 dozen eggs, then I go for a jog, then I learn to play guitar, and then I look at the newspaper.

I want to thank you people for contributing to the show because it's what keeps us up and running. As you know, people like me get squashed on the internet. But I want to thank one-time contributors. Robert Curley of New York.

I met a few in South Carolina. David Yenny of South Carolina. Jimmy Dempster, Georgia. Craig Weber, South Carolina. David Hertz, Calabonia. Malia Belzic, Pennsylvania. Malia Belzic, Belgium, Kenneth Ferreira, Florida, Christopher Hewlin, North Carolina, Thomas Olowski, Virginia, Sean Powell, Florida,

Paul Sagnella, Connecticut. Some guy comes up in South Carolina. She goes, I'm Paul Sag. I go, no way. Nice to meet you. He goes, I'm kidding. Guy fucking got me. Paul Sagnella, Connecticut. Some guy comes up to me in South Carolina. She goes, I'm Paul Sagnela. I go, no way. Nice to meet you. He goes, I'm kidding. Guy fucking got me. Paul Sagnela, Connecticut. And monthly supporter, Mayor of Myrtle Beach. That's a guy that was sitting towards the front of the club last weekend. Wait, I bought him three bills, I'd say.

T-shirt on that says, make me a sandwich. And he had a big, long, like, ZZ Top gray beard. I labeled him Mayor of South Carolina. And John Getzman of Ohio, thank you guys so much for becoming monthly supporters. I want to pick up the pace. I got to be honest. When I was on YouTube, I would read. Do you guys remember when I first got on YouTube? I was reading. Sometimes my producer would hear me three to four pages of thank yous for a 24-hour period. And then YouTube. But I talked to Tommy.

All the numbers are trending up because we're in more platforms now. But you've got to spread the word and spread the word of the Lord. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it's done at Assetong Productions. All right, let's move on to some violence. I wonder what race is doing it.

Oh, I don't know. Probably the same people every week, the Polish and the Amish. Headline, guerrilla mauling in California. Who put that in there? Let me speak to the producer. Century Station detectives, that's California, seeking public assistance in identifying suspect

in the vicious attack of a female in Gardenia, California. This made me so sick. Luckily, the car is blocking the most graphic part of it. I'm going to let you watch this, then I'll give you my take. On Sunday, May 30th, 2021, deputies from the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department Century Station responded to an assault call at the 500 block of Rosecrans

Avenue in the city of Gardenia at about 7.09 p.m. The victim, a female Hispanic adult, stopped at a gas station. They still say gasoline station. Must be Maxine Waters writing the article. As she began to pump gasoline, the suspect drove into the parking lot, parked directly in front of the victim's vehicle. The suspect calmly exited his vehicle, walked towards the victim, and without warning or provocation, punched the little woman, causing her to fall to the ground. This is really disgusting, and like I said, I'm glad, I'm glad there wasn't a camera on the other side where we could see her, you know, this fucking animal beating this poor woman. It reminds me of, it's like, it's literally a wild animal attack.

Somebody wanders into the, you know, a jogging on a bike path and gets attacked by a fucking whatever. I mean, watch this disgusting, I don't want to say human being, I don't know what category falls, but watch this. It's very falls on me. Watch this. It's very upsetting to me. Y'all fat fuck, look at you. She's over there pumping gas behind that black car. Now, what could have fucking possibly provoked this? You got to be kidding me. can possibly provoke this. You've got to be kidding me.

And watch how long he's beaten her. Look at the cars slowing down but not stopping. How'd it go, fellas, or guys, or whoever's in the car? Nobody's seeing this? He's still, he's banging her head on the pavement. Luckily, she survived this, by the way. That kept going on and on and then uh like some older guys show up and and walk over to him did i give you i didn't give you that part ben um walk over to him and uh escort him back to his truck instead of trying to call the police or hold him

there block his car with your car what the fuck is going on in the world? Yes, it might be dangerous to get involved in something like that. Well, the alternative is we can let poor women be beaten to death on the streets of all ages. Jesus Christ, it's so depressing. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. While the victim was on the ground, the suspect repeatedly punched her in the head and face. You know why?

You are a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. I'm talking about him. During the attack, the suspect grabbed the victim's hair, slammed her head against the vehicle and onto the ground several times as idiots in cars drove by. After the assault, the suspect calmly walking back to his vehicle where he enters the vehicle and drives away. The victim did not recognize the suspect and firmly believes she does not know the suspect personally. The suspect did not take any personal belongings. That's how you know it's a hate crime. Black on brown, but it's still a hate crime. Didn't take anything, any belongings from the victim.

At this time, the attack appears to be completely random and unprovoked. Really? Really? Take your stinking paws off me, you damn dirty ape. The victim sustained severe injuries to her head and face due to the attack and was what a disgusting country we are right now. And was subsequently transported to a local hospital to be treated for her injuries. The victim has since been released, thank God, from the hospital and is recovering at home. She'll never be right, though.

The suspect is black. And you know why they said black in the description? Because we have them on tape. That's the only reason. 30 to 35 years old, short, dark hair. No, really? Not curly, long, blonde, wavy hair. Approximately six foot to six five, 350 pounds or so. Last seen wearing dark shorts, dark shoes, and no shirt. The suspect's vehicle is a Ford Expedition, an older model.

Really? He doesn't have the latest 2022? See the tits on him? He should be on National Geographic carrying a box of corn. Matted black paint, black rims. They think he might have been detained in Long Beach, I think, the next day.

So he might have been caught. Not sure on that one. How disgusting. How many clips have we showed like this? Now, my take when I watched it, and it's funny, I said, it's weird. It could be totally unprovoked. Or maybe like she might have cut him off by accident not even knowing you know i mean and there's so many psychotics in our country today roaming the streets thanks to liberal laws um she must have i'm guessing maybe not maybe people are just that crazy i'm thinking she might have cut him off by act you know i mean not even realize what she did who knows maybe doesn't take that anymore just Just the sight of her.

Maybe she'll look like an old girlfriend, but he's never had a girlfriend. What a disgusting piece of garbage. That's French for garbage, everybody. Finally tonight, I meet the press. Apple, you've heard of their company? They're pretty good. I heard they made like $40,000 just last year on phones alone. Apple has paid a multi-million dollar settlement to a Oregon woman who sent her iPhone in for repair and had her private race images and

a sex video from the device posted online by none other than Hunter Biden, no, by repair technicians, a report said. These are not Apple technicians. It's a company that they hire, I believe. The workers put 10 photos of the 21-year-old in various stages of undress. I looked, I scoured the internet. I couldn't find him. I ended up watching Chinese people get hit by cars until 3 in the morning. I don't know why I do that. And the sex footage on the 21-year-old's Facebook account in 2016.

The poor thing, you know, she filmed it sex like a good girl will do. It's on the Facebook. Now her uncle's after her. Here she is in action. Roll it. No, I'm kidding. Oh, no. Grammy's got to see that.

The images were reportedly posted, so it looked as if she had shared them. And, you know, she only took them down after her friends tipped her off. They were on. Can you imagine how ashamed or whatever? Or maybe she's proud. I don't know. These girls today, they're pretty crazy out there. Nope, I guess she didn't like what she saw.

That was her response. The full amount of the settlement wasn't disclosed, but it was a multi-million dollar amount, the Telegraph said, citing legal filings. Lawyers for the woman, who wasn't named, had been asking for $5 million, according to the publication. had been asking for $5 million according to the publication. The settlement reportedly came with a confidentiality clause that blocks the victim from talking about the settlement

or disclosing the amount. I bet you Bill Gates has the clips. We heard he was a wild one, remember? The woman, a college student, had sent her phone for repairs and it ended up at a facility. You got to check your shit before you send it in, like I do. I have pictures of me on there naked painting my garage and I,

it ended up at a facility outside of Sacramento operated by the company Pegatron, which is who I go to when I want shit done. Anyways, attorneys for the victim had reportedly threatened a lawsuit for invasion of privacy and warned of negative media publicity. That's what you do. You go to Apple and say, you guys make this right. Or you think, first of all, $5 million? All the distress and whatever, you know, they bring up mental distress and all. What are you, shitting me?

You should have asked for $ or 100 and settled at 25. Who is this hack? Anyways, negative media publicity. Apple paid, but it was reimbursed by Pegatron, which had fired the two technicians. The guys were working for Pegatron, who posted the shit. So it wasn't really Apple's fault. So they got canned. Good.

You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. You're fired. No. The situation was revealed in a lawsuit between Pegatron and its insurer,

which was said to have refused the insurance company to want to cover the cost of the settlement, like most insurance companies. Apple wasn't named in the lawsuit and referred to only as customer, the report said. So be careful, kids out there. You know, if you're on there, you got pictures of you doing dirty some shit, you know, you got to get that out of there. Get out. I don't care where you get it. Get it out of here. Take it back. I don't give a fuck where you get it. Get it out of here. During that legal battle, which was settled out of court. Take it back. I don't give a fuck where you got it. Get it out of here. During that legal battle, which was settled out of court, Apple had argued against making details

of the settlement public because it could cause harm to its business. You know, the business that makes $60 trillion a second. It could really sink them. The Telegraph reported anyways. They worried about it's going to hurt there. You know, we already know you. You got Chinese kids that are seven years old tied to a table in Beijing making phones, fucking, you know,

a lot of shit break for two days. I don't think it's going to hurt you. So please shut your yap. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? Will you shut up? Shut up? Shut up? Shut up! Shut up! All righty, kids. That is it for Tuesday. Another one in the books. Again, happy birthday, Bunny Galore. Benjamin does a nice job.

Pinch hitting. Yeah, he lined one off the wall. Solid double. Maybe a triple. He's got to stretch it. It's the throw. Yeah, that is it. Again, thank you, guys.

Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Sign up there if you can. You can get it for free there or pay for it monthly like good people do. Or daily contributions. Don't forget nickdip.com. If you want to see me do live stand-up, click on the tour button. Also, we have cameo.com, which is a lot of fun. You go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person.

I will roast the person. You tell me a little bit about them, I'll give them a zinger or her a zinger. Or I can say happy birthday to your cousin Diane that you had a crush on when you were six. You know, all that crazy shit. Cameo.com. You guys thinking I will say it? You're very welcome. We will see you back here at the same time tomorrow.

Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo We'll see you next time.