The Nick DiPaolo Show - Kavanaugh, a Train Conductor?
Episode Date: September 26, 2018Hearing Will Be Girl on Girl Action. Voting With Smart Phones, Dumb! When It Comes To Fairness Twitter in Shitter....
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🎵 Yeah. Welcome to the show, folks.
It's a Wednesday. How are you?
833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425.
If you'd like to join in the hilarity.
This Saturday night, I'll be at the Fat Black Pussycat in New York City.
Thursday, October 4th, the Texas Theater in Dallas.
Saturday, October 27th, Lucy's in Pleasantville, New York.
November 2nd and 3rd, Governor's Levittown, Long Island, New York.
Friday, November 9th and Saturday, November 10th, Comics at Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut.
Friday, November 30th and Saturday, December 1st.
The Corner Comedy Club, Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada.
That's on the Canada side.
Monday, December 31st, which is New Year's Eve,
which is the one I'm drooling over.
Terry Town Music Hall, 20 minutes from where I live. New Year's Eve, which is the one I'm drooling over. The Tarrytown Music Hall, 20 minutes from where I live.
New Year's Eve, baby.
Kevin Meaney used to do a show there on Christmas Eve every year.
And what an awesome venue.
It's been around since the 1800s, refurbished.
Sort of like Fenway.
They put luxury boxes and bleaches and whatnot.
How are you?
You good?
Had my echocardiogram about an hour and a half ago.
And it was funny.
Lady plugged in the thing, put goo on my chest.
I'm laying on my side.
And I said to her, you know,
this is not the first time I've had goo on my chest when I'm laying on my side.
And she said, that's a hashtag me.
I said, shut it.
I'll knock you through the goddamn wall.
And she couldn't find, it was funny, she couldn't find my heart for a second.
And I was like, well, a lot of people tell you.
That's a very accurate depiction.
Down in my rib cage.
No, that's your liver.
Those are your balls.
down in my rib cage.
No, that's your liver.
Those are your balls.
Anyways, yeah, she was about as warm as an army physical.
Didn't say two words.
Of course, there's a nurse, you know,
there's a girl like in her 20s with long blonde hair, but I had to get wildebeest from Russia with an accent.
The same way that I order and I get a massage.
It's always a broad who's got traps like Earl Acker.
Hey, what are you going to do?
But she didn't say boo.
And I'm trying to read her face because the monitor is over there.
I can't see what she's seeing.
And I was just waiting for her to go.
What's the matter? There's a stick of butter stuck in your a order I was waiting for some type of feedback she's
so quiet I was getting nervous I thought I was loaded with cancer or some shit
wouldn't that be lucky and then she at the end I said you know anything unusual
nope okay thanks for being so warm bye bye I said how am know, anything unusual? Nope. Okay, thanks for being so warm.
Bye-bye.
I said, how am I going to get the results?
So they mail them, they phone them, whatever they usually do.
They send their homing pigeon or whatever.
Don't bust my ball with the detail.
I just do what I do.
Okay.
Anyways, that was because of a couple slightly abnormal EKGs but I'm guessing the woman who did my EKG put those electrodes if they're not precise you
can get a funny reading it's either that or the 12 cigarettes they have before
breakfast might be changing the rhythm of my heart either way i don't care 833-599-6425 is the phone number so uh yeah i think my heart's
okay i'm come on i did an insanity workout yesterday i was fine i keep thinking of my
buddy colin quinn though he was leaving the gym when he started to get lightheaded and almost
collapsed so
that's how they're probably gonna find me on a shitty treadmill in the basement
bleeding from my eye holes and my ass maybe let's get to it a lot of news today huh lot those democrats you are the filthiest low-life suckers i have ever encountered
again i won't let politics get in the way of my
friendships, but how you can fucking vote
for that criminal enterprise
they call the Democratic
Party is just fucking beyond me.
Low lives to the bitter
end. How's the collusion thing going?
Anything? It's been a couple
years? Nothing, huh? Nothing?
Oh, you got Manafort, did you? And the guy
he work with? Oh, you're catching some big fish you don't know they still might
between that and what they're doing to this guy kavanaugh i'm sorry i ain't buying it
i guess uh the ends justify the memes that's how they play. And the pussy Republicans better step the fuck up
because if this guy doesn't get
the nomination,
oh my God.
Blue wave.
70-foot blue wave.
You know what I'm saying?
Let's get to the particulars.
Arizona prosecutor is a GOP choice
to question Kavanaugh and Ford.
I'll get to Avenatti and the third accuser in a second.
That's the top story today.
But we have to go sort of chronological to follow this big fucking con game, this scam.
Last time I talked to the Dems of whining, we don't know who's going to question her.
Who's going to question these broads?
And, you know, and I said,
doesn't matter who they pick.
Doesn't fucking matter.
They, you know, it could be Ginsburg.
You know, that fucking corpse in a gown.
They still, you know, they'd whine.
Republican senators have selected
Arizona prosecutor Rachel Mitchell
to question Judge Brett Kavanaugh
and the woman who has accused the nominee
of sexually assaulting her when they were teenagers.
And it should be interesting.
Bing, bing, bong, bing.
Mitchell, the sex crime bureau chief
for a Maricopa County attorney's office in Phoenix.
I was just there.
I think I saw her.
There she is.
I hope she's better in the courtroom.
Guys, why are you cutting off her head?
Go back to the fucking original shot.
More.
Get her feet.
There you go.
I hope she's better in the courtroom than she is at pick and close.
I mean, Kim Jong-un called.
He wants his suit back.
That is a Kim Jong-un.
That's from the Kim Jong-un line.
Look at that.
What the fuck?
Anyways, I'm not judging her on her looks.
That would be sexist.
But she's well qualified.
She'll query the two at Thursday's
highly anticipated committee,
Judiciary Committee hearing.
A registered Republican, Mitchell has worked for the Maricopa County's
Attorney's Office for 26 years, and I think she'll get to work.
Are you saying he knows nothing about these matters?
To my knowledge, nothing.
I'm going to find out what the hell happened here.
That's her voice, by the way.
I can tell by the way she dresses, that's how she sounds.
Nick, what are you saying?
I don't give a fuck.
Senate Judiciary Committee Chairman Charles Grassley said,
the goal is to depoliticize the process and get to the truth
instead of grandstanding and giving senators, you know,
like Cory Booker, Mr. Spartacus,
an opportunity to launch their presidential campaigns,
which is true.
But how can you...
Anyways, Christine Blasey Ford, who accused Kavanaugh of sexually assaulting her when they were both in high school,
will testify under oath on Thursday if she has the fucking balls to show up.
I am here! I have things to say!
Yeah, well, let's hear them.
And take off the welding glasses, you fucking wench.
I don't believe this broad for a second.
Maybe the other ones.
I don't know.
The division Mitchell heads deals with family violence.
She's qualified physical and sexual abuse of children and sex offenses, including sex assault cases.
Mitchell oversees about 40 to 50 people in the division, has a long history of investigating years-old sex crimes
and allegations that are difficult to corroborate,
which is exactly what we have here.
Over the course of Rachel's career,
she's dealt with victims in this very circumstance
of delayed disclosure in circumstances
where allegations were difficult to corroborate.
Mitch McConnell.
Mitch McConnell from Kentucky said,
I don't know.
Mitch McConnell from Kentucky said,
Republican lawmakers hired a female assistant to ask these questions in respect and in a professional way.
Has anybody seen my fucking chin and why am I drooling?
Anyways, she's now a supervisor this woman where her duties include analyzing legislative changes and managing other attorneys tracy westenhausen a phoenix defense attorney who has gone up against
mitchell in 30 cases she's a democrat by the way lifelong says she has never discussed politics
with mitchell but considers her a good choice for the high stakes job? So that's it. That's one Democrat who actually agrees.
But the minute I heard, oh, she's a Republican, you know, it doesn't matter.
It doesn't matter.
The Democrats are like fucking children.
No matter what you say, they'll fucking question it and say, I want this instead of that.
They like this whole thing smells of desperation.
Am I that and pussy grass?
Oh, my God. Is there any need to talk?
Yes, there is actually.
Yes, there is. You guys fucking watch Hannity and all that horse shit and listen to Rush,
but you want somebody to fucking cut loose and say what you're saying at your kitchen table.
Do you not?
Well, here I am, motherfuckers.
Come find me.
Right, Twinks?
How are you?
Grassley said he appointed
a woman from the outside in order to
depoliticize the process and prevent
a rerun of Anita Hill's testimony
at Judge Clarence Thomas' hearing back in
91. Remember the high-tech lynching?
Where they said they found a pube, a pubic
hair on a Coke can, and he harassed her.
Big, same fucking horse shit.
Democrats haven't changed the playbook.
Low-life fucking cock.
That's enough.
Before Mitchell's name was revealed, Democrats criticized their Republican colleagues for leaving them in the dark and accused them of shirking their senatorial duties.
Well, now you know who she is.
And I was just watching Trump in front of a whole press conference.
And he takes every question.
He Jim Acosta stands.
Every question was,
why do you always side with the males?
And you sided with Judge Moore and you sided with Bill O'Reilly.
Why do you always side with it?
They're like fucking fifth graders.
He sides with whatever the evidence says.
And by the way, Judge Moore,
we don't know.
Just because he lost the election,
we don't know that those allegations
were true because nobody was back there in 1946 to witness them oh my god like fucking children
you always seem to side with the guys okay so the president's gonna go you know you're right i'm
gonna side with the chicks instead of waiting till all the shit evidence is produced and we
have these actual fucking hearings they're like children. Jim Acosta actually goes,
I want, would it be alright
if after my question, some of my
female colleagues, he's calling the
shots. And Trump,
God bless him, said, why? What's that
got to do with it? He kept questioning Acosta.
What a little pussy that fucking guy is.
I think Shep Smith
could dick slap him in a fight.
Oh, Nick, don't go there.
Oh, blow it out your ass, please.
Anyways, here's the reaction naturally, like it wasn't too predictable.
To them naming this woman.
Some commentators and political left immediately criticized the pick of Mitchell trying trying to tie Mitchell, who was an unelected civil servant to the controversial convicted and now pardoned Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Pio.
He's the sheriff, remember, who made the all the illegals and all his prisoners wear pink garb and shit.
And, you know, he was a real fucking hard ass and was right on the money
by the way uh the maricopa county attorney's office does not report to the sheriff's office
they have nothing to do with each other so they're wrong on that count too get your facts in a row
get your fucking ducks in a row you and and most counties nationwide maricopa county attorney is
independently elected official who runs his office independently sheriff apayo at
no time exercised authority over any aspect of uh county attorney's office where she worked
so stick that up your fucking ass number one only this crowd of clueless here's a tweet from
jennifer rubin uh jew broad i mean jewish lady who I've seen on TV.
Just hateful.
Just has to be New York fucking...
Just a man-hating machine.
She says in a tweet,
Only this crowd of clueless old white guys
would pick someone from Sheriff Joe's operation.
I was saying no self-respecting lawyer
would take the job of giving cover
to GOP cowards. I was saying no self-respecting lawyer would take the job of giving cover to GOP cowards.
I was right.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Yeah.
Your mother sucks cocks and hell.
Let's hear that one again.
Your mother sucks cocks and hell.
Can you imagine?
She's complaining.
So, you know, only 12 old white guys or whatever the fuck.
But if they insisted on doing the questioning or if they picked a male,
you'd be going, why are you picking a male to question these accusers?
They're like fucking, honestly, it's like arguing with a fifth grader they couldn't they couldn't be more
obstinate 11 freddy here's another tweet uh oh former hillary clinton advisor so i know he's on
the up and i've philip made the same error. Just killed something.
I have no idea what it was.
11 Frady Cat Republican men,
and it's in quotes,
need a ringer to do their dirty work.
Rachel Mitchell, 26 years in Arizona,
is Maricopa County's attorney's office.
We'll interrogate for it.
Ask Kavanaugh his favorite color.
Maricopa County rings a bell.
You're a wormy cocksucker, you know that?
Again, so you wouldn't be happy no matter who they fucking picked.
And let me say this before I forget it about this whole thing.
There's two points I want to make about this whole fucking sham.
And I'll get to Avenatti, the porn lawyer, and his third accuser.
and I'll get to Avenatti, the porn lawyer, and his third accuser.
But number one, I'm watching that press conference,
and I'm watching TV, and they're saying,
the Republicans have to keep an open mind, have to keep an open mind.
This coming from the Democrats who said before they knew,
before they fucking knew Kavanaugh was even the nominee,
they said, whoever Trump brings up as a nominee, we're voting 100% against.
But you're lecturing the right to keep an open mind.
Who the fuck and what the... Fellas, are you with me?
That's what they said.
No matter who he nominates, we're going to say no to, 100%.
But it's important that they keep an open mind
when the accusers come.
With stories from over 30 years ago,
with gaps in them the size of fucking
David Letterman's front teeth.
Ah, he fixed them.
All right, old reference.
Mine, I fixed mine too.
A ringer?
She's the most qualified person there is to do this,
according to the woman Democrat.
Some of the attacks on Mitchell's suitability focused on controversies over inadequate sheriff's office sex crime investigations under Arpaio last decade.
Not only did Mitchell not work at the sheriff's office back then, she, as the Washington Post Tuesday report notes,
Washington Post Tuesday report notes, according to her predecessor, Cindy Nannetti, one of the prosecutors tasked with finding out why hundreds of sex crimes were unresolved or not adequately
investigated by the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office. It was her job to find out why a lot of
these charges, sex charges, didn't happen under, you know, before she got there. And they're saying she's a ringer. Oh my God, you fucking retarded.
You are fucking retarded.
Maricopi cocksuckers.
Democrats, gobblers of goo,
each and every one of you.
You're as low as fucking rat shit.
I can't.
Nanetti also told the Post
that Mitchell was one of the finest prosecutors
in the country.
Unbelievable.
And again, this is Tracy Westerhausen, again, a self-identified Democrat
who represented more than 30 defendants.
Mitchell prosecuted, told the Post,
Part of the reason we're very good friends is she's a very nuanced and wise prosecutor.
She doesn't pigeonhole defendants.
In my experience, she's a very pointed questioner of adverse witnesses,
but she's also very fair.
Sounds like a dead ringer, doesn't it?
Again, name somebody that they would
have been fine with. Fucking name somebody.
Name somebody.
Huh?
Hillary Clinton.
She's not a judge, you dumb fuck. But anyways.
Even then, they would have said,
well, what does she know?
Her husband's a rapist.
Yeah, well, you defended him
through the fucking 90s,
you fucking non-armpit-shaving,
smelly, fucking mustachioed,
angry bitches.
What's he going nuts for he was really happy with the cut he made between cameras that's how green these guys are ryan's in there actually giving himself a standing ovation became
he made some nice cuts good for you you'll get a hold of it eventually this show will get picked
up and put on CRTV.
And then we'll be out of a job.
No, you won't.
Fuck no.
You're with me forever.
You understand?
You witness shit in this house that you can't get out of here alive.
Number one, me molesting my dog.
What?
Oh, she just wants an apple.
Yeah, but why are your pants down?
Let's get to the big story.
You guys hang on the line.
It says Kavanaugh, but I'm sure you want to talk about this part of the story.
Michael Avenatti.
Who's that? Well, that's, as Tucker Carlson would say, the creepy porn lawyer.
He reveals client-making gang rape allegations against Kavanaugh.
I almost said Kevin Kavanaugh because I went to college with but uh raping me this is rape this is right this is right
today abinadi tweeted a name and photo of that client uh that he said the third one uh with
screenshots of email correspondence and a sw sworn statement from the alleged victim laying out all her
allegations.
And this is
a tweet
from Michael Avenatti. It says,
Below is my correspondence to Mr. Davis of moments
ago, together with a sworn declaration
from my client. We demand an
immediate FBI investigation into the
allegations.
Under no circumstances should Brett Kavanaugh be confirmed
absent a full and complete investigation.
Yeah, you're right. The FBI's gonna...
Again, once again, I don't even know if they have
jurisdiction over this
because the shit she's crying about happened in D.C.
Probably do. Secondly,
you have to have, you know,
corroborating witnesses and all kinds
of evidence and shit.
And they've already turned their nose up at the first one.
I don't think they're going to do this one either.
Again, right in his tweet, he reveals what the whole goal is,
is delay this thing to fuck up the midterms.
It's all right in front of you.
It's all right there.
But this is interesting, I'm saying.
You don't think they could find in a country of 300 million,
which is I don't know how many people vote Democrat and hate Trump,
you don't think they could find a couple of broads, feminists,
who hate fucking Trump to the core that they would actually get involved in this?
Well, three people wouldn't be lying about the same thing.
Well, how many people lied about the collusion?
Well, there were hundreds of thousands involved in that one.
So, who are you dog styling?
Paragraph 13
of the sworn statement.
Let's put a picture up
of the third.
Her name is Swetnick,
which many people
always say to me
before the show.
Don't Swetnick.
And I go, hey, blow me.
Do we have a picture
of the third accuser, guys?
Hate to throw a curveball at you. there you go yeah at least she's cute and I didn't mean that in a sexist way but this is
the third accuser miss sweat Nick do I have her first name Julia Julia is it
Julia sweat Nick okay paragraph 13 of this one statement has a specified Julia. Julia. Is it Julia Swetnick? Okay.
Paragraph 13 of the Swann Statement has a specified personal allegation.
This is from her.
In approximately 1982, I became the victim of one of these gang or train rapes where Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh were present.
Shortly after the incident, I shared what had transpired with at least two other people.
During the incident i was
incapacitated without my consent and unable to fight off the boys raping me i believe i was
drugged using quaaludes or something similar placed in what i was drinking either that or
you're lightweight and i'm when i let me let me get into more detail here's the declaration of
julie swetnick There might be some repetition here.
This font is smaller than my dick.
I first met Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh in approximately 1980, 81.
I was introduced to them at a house party I attended in D.C. area.
I observed Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh, extremely close friends,
during the early 80s when I knew them and interacted with them.
I described them as joined at the hip,
and I consistently saw them in many social settings.
There is no question in my mind Mark Judge had significant information
concerning the conduct of Brett Kavanaugh during the 80s.
It relates to his actions towards women, and this is part seven.
Following the first introduction, I attended well over 10 house parties in the washington dc area during the years between 81 and 83 where mark
judge and brett cavanaugh were present these parties were a common occurrence in the area
and occurred nearly every weekend during the school year on numerous occasions at these
parties i witnessed mark judge and brett cavanaugh drinking excessively and engage in highly
inappropriate conduct,
including being overly aggressive with girls and not taking no for an answer.
So, OK, you saw them raping people right in front of you.
This conduct included the fondling and grabbing of the girls without their consent.
I observed Brett Kavanaugh drink excessively at many of these parties and engage in abusive and physical aggressive behavior toward girls
including pressing girls against him without their consent which i've done on every dance floor in
the 80s my whole life grinding against girls and attempting to remove or shift girls clothing to
expose private body parts what the fuck were they wearing bikinis i likewise observed him be verbally abusive towards girls by making
crude sexual comments to them that were designed to demean humiliate and embarrass them that
happened at every frat party i was ever at i often witnessed brett kavanaugh speak in a demeaning
manner about girls in general as well as specific girls by name i also witnessed brett kavanaugh
behave as a mean drunk on many occasions
at these parties i have been told by other women that this conduct also occurred during the summer
months in ocean city maryland on numerous occasions i also know i also witnessed such
conduct on one occasion in ocean city maryland during beach week i have reviewed brett kavanaugh's
recent claims on fox news regarding him regarding his innocence during his high school years
and lack of sexual activity.
This claim is absolutely false and a lie.
I witnessed Brett Kavanaugh consistently engage in excessive drinking
and inappropriate contact of sexual nature with women
during the early 1980s, which makes him a rapist, I guess.
That's the behavior of every guy new in the fucking 80s.
I'm sorry.
Here we go. Now we're getting into the meat of it.'s the behavior of every guy i knew in the fucking 80s i'm sorry uh here
we go now we're getting into the meat of the during the years of 1981-82 i became aware of
efforts by mark judge brett kavanaugh and others to spike the punch in others you sure you're not
confusing them to spike the punch at house parties i attended with drugs into a grain alcohol so as
to cause girls to lose their inhibitions and their ability to say no what
this caused me to make an effort to purposely avoid the punch at these but you kept going to
the parties uh i witnessed efforts by judge and kavanaugh and others to target particular girls
so they could be taken advantage of it was usually a girl by herself alone at the potty or shy i all
know i also witnessed efforts by mark
judge and brett kavanaugh and others to cause girls to become inebriated and disoriented so they
could then be gang raped in a side room a bedroom by a train of numerous boys i have a firm
recollection of seeing boys lined up outside rooms at many of these parties waiting for their turn
with a sure it wasn't the fucking men's room?
And there was a girl in there using it?
Not to be insensitive.
These boys included Mark Judge and Brett Kavanaugh.
In approximately 1982, I became the victim of one of these gang or train rapes where Judge and Kavanaugh were present.
Shortly after the incident, I shared what had transpired with at least two other people.
During the incident, I was incapacitated without my consent and unable to fight off the boys raping me
i believe i was drugged using quaaludes or something similar placed in what i was drinking
i am aware of other witnesses that can attest to the truthfulness of each of these statements
i declare under penalty of perjury and under the laws of the u.s united states of america
that the foregoing is true and correct i have executed this declaration on september 25th 2018 so um
why would you keep going back to parties she said she witnessed this behavior
on numerous occasions why would you keep going back to parties where you witnessed
you know trains and gang rapes and that's my first question.
Ay,
ay, ay, ay, ay,
ay, ay.
The timing, folks, the timing
on everything stinks.
Between
Feinstein having this goddamn letter
back in July, between
none of these, she didn't report
this to the local authority when this
happened to her, this gang rape or whatever.
Didn't mention it to her parent
or anybody.
And I know that's common
because it's such a personal thing, but you don't report it to
the authorities and you've been
to numerous parties where you saw shit like this
happening. That's where it smells a little funny
to me. Call me
dopey, but Pete in LA. Hey, Pete,
how are you? Welcome to the show. Hi, Nick. Great show as always. Thank you. I want to expand on
your point about her continually going to parties. Yeah. Can she give us one young female that she
warned? Like if I'm at a party and i'm assuming i'm not
going to the parties alone every time if i know there's spiking and raping if i was with some
other girls i'd like to think i would say hey watch it that crew was raping people can she give
us one person that she gave the heads up to or she's some sociopath that sees people getting
raped and just hangs around the party just to watch other people stand in line.
That would be a question I would have.
But it all depends on if they... I don't think she's coming tomorrow, by the way.
If she even witnesses this.
If she even witnessed it at all, by the way.
But, yeah, I mean...
Oh, it's all fantasy. I agree.
You know, I'm trying to be fair here. I really am.
But what undermines it all is the... number one, the timing of it all,
30-something years later, number one.
Number two, the Democrats coming out before they even know Kavanaugh is the nominee
and saying, we're not going to fucking vote for whoever Trump puts up there.
So that's, and yeah, it all stinks to high heaven.
And the FBI, they're not going to get involved in something like this.
I mean, they don't draw a conclusion.
The FBI, by the way, when they do an investigation, they don't come to a conclusion.
They just investigate, as I heard some FBI guys say on TV.
But, yeah, no, that's a great point.
Did she warn anybody else?
I guess not.
Maybe she did.
Maybe we'll hear about that.
No, well, also, as far as they didn't draw a conclusion on Anita Hill investigation.
Right.
They did not find any conclusive evidence.
But that's one thing that gets me so mad about these damn pundits on TV.
They keep saying, why don't we do an investigation like the FBI did with Anita Hill?
And then we should say, well, would you believe the FBI's result?
And of course they have to say yes.
They say no.
But then Clarence Thomas was not convicted.
Clarence Thomas was inconclusive, and he knew this woman.
It's all a sham.
You are 100% right.
Look, the woman took her polygraph in Maryland.
I thought she was afraid to fly.
The woman went to school in Hawaii.
Wait, wait.
Hold on, Pete.
Hold on, Pete. Hold on, Pete.
You're talking about Blasey Ford.
I'm talking about the third accuser.
Oh, no.
No, I know.
I know.
But when you said you're trying to give the benefit of the doubt, every single one of them has such glaring...
Right.
There comes a point where you're a fool if you keep giving the benefit of the doubt.
The only question is, is this prosecutor going to go after her tomorrow?
I don't think she's coming.
I'm just letting you know. I don't think she's coming i'm just letting you know i don't think she's coming yeah i have that and um and i will tell you that if you there is one law i just want to if you submit a document that's
fraudulent to the senate judiciary committee it's a felony so she intentionally sent that
letter to diane feinstein she wrote it to diane feinstein she mailed it to the other
rep now that would be like me wanting to talk to you and wrote it to diane feinstein she mailed it to the other rep now that
would be like me wanting to talk to you and mailing it to louis ck right like it doesn't make any sense
but that was her way of protecting herself from a legal claim that's right because she technically
did not submit it there's all these little nuances i've never mailed a letter to somebody to someone
else and just like assuming they'll forward it it's just retarded yeah um i just want to say
one thing on the economy real quick.
The Fed raised the interest rate for the seventh time
since Trump won the election.
Seventh time.
Now, in Obama's eight years from the day he won the election
to Trump's taking power, they raised it once.
So seven times in two years,
and they're raising it again in December.
This is absolute certifiable proof that Trump's economy is booming.
I know. I just saw him speaking about it.
Pete, we're not talking about the economy.
Thank you for the call very much.
I just saw Trump saying that, but it's also part because the economy,
like you said, it's evidence that the economy is booming.
So he wasn't mad about it.
He's dealing with more expensive money right now is what he said in the press but uh i'm not getting into that that is definitely not my
forte business 2.4 university of maine marketing and that's with a lot of cheating
but the timing stinks and and and i'm just laughing because they're pressing trump and
telling the the republicans on the committee you got to keep an open mind you got to keep an open mind and the first thing they said black
and before they knew who his nominee was gonna who before they knew Kevin I was a nominee is
we're not voting for anybody Trump what's up so your sister's ass it's very curvaceous
uh let's go to Kyle in Providence says says he wants to discuss his large number of YouTube viewers.
I'll give you a chance, Kyle, real quick.
Go ahead.
Hey, what's good, stupid?
What's up, Kyle?
Hey, how come I got more viewers than you?
I don't know.
I just started.
You're white and you failed at life?
I just started with a YouTube thing.
What?
Oh, we lost you.
Unfortunately, Kyle cut out.
I'm a Bernie supporter?
Is that what he just said?
I like Bernie.
He's a old curmudgeon
who believes what he believes.
I don't fucking support Bernie Sanders,
old fucking hippie.
That would be you in Rhode Island.
Rhode Island is like the pimple
on the ass of Massachusetts
where I grew up.
It's like a festering fucking boil.
By the way, I lived in Rhode Island.
It's actually pretty beautiful.
But their politics,
just like Boston,
just like San Francisco,
all the beautifully,
geographically beautiful places,
poisoned by fucking morons.
Sandy Lane in Alabama.
Sandy, welcome to the show.
Thank you, Nick.
I love comedy.
I love your comedy.
Thank you.
Yeah, you said the point already about, you know, where's the witnesses?
Why did she go to the party?
I mean, if you see that much stuff, why are you going to this party?
Because she was sexually intrigued by it.
And it's a fantasy, according to Bernie Sanders, that all women like.
More than one guy on them.
How about that for a theory?
I'm just joking. Bernie said that Bernie did right now he's a socialist good god I know don't say anything um but like with the whole thing with Louis CK these are grown ass women excuse
my language yeah can you not walk out of a room?
Because I can walk out of a room.
There's nothing.
If somebody did that, I'd be like, dude, whatever, let's go.
I work with dudes.
I'm a welder.
They say I'm a dead horse.
I'm not a dude.
I've got three boys that proves that I'm not a dude I know I've got three boys
that proves that I'm not a dude
I'm kidding
I work in that
yeah I know you're kidding
but
you see women
where I work standing in front of fans
and then you wonder why nobody
wants to work with you
that's why
we all have to earn a paycheck standing in front of fans. And then you wonder why nobody wants to work with you. That's why.
There's your reason.
No, you're right.
Because we all have to earn a paycheck.
The other point, thank you for the call, Sandy.
Excellent point.
The other point I wanted to make is they're dividing this wedge between men and women,
this whole thing.
I feel bad for you young guys. Good luck getting laid in the next fucking 50 years.
I mean, back in my day, it was serial rapists andists and stuff you know the girls would shut down every few months um but the feminist
movement that was the ultimate goal anyway because they considered you know they consider this country
a paternalistic uh you know a male patriarchy and and and you're uh you know and we're controlling
women and they want to overturn that.
And the best way to do that is to make women hate men and vice versa.
And it's right in the fucking lesbian handbook.
And that's not true.
I know some lesbians who don't play this shit either. But I'm just saying, you know, if I can drive a wedge between a male.
It's all identity politics.
That's all it is.
This happens to be the gender part, not the race part.
But that's all they have in their playbook.
And they go back and forth, back and forth.
Robert in New Jersey.
Robert, welcome to the show.
What's happening?
Hey, thanks a lot.
You know, first time caller.
One of the things that I brought up that you brought up and Sandy brought up
was the whole thing about why did you keep on going.
So I went to Arizona State.
Oh, boy.
Oh, boy.
No one-party college at the time.
Oh, boy.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
I saw amazing things.
Yes.
Mostly from the hockey frat.
Those guys were the worst.
Like, everyone new on campus, don't go there because date rape. Hockey frat? with those guys were the worst like everyone knew on campus don't go there because
uh date rape hockey wait a minute hold on hold on a hockey frat in arizona
oh my god the hockey frat in arizona yeah that was just a front you gotta do something
right exactly you're in the desert it's a hockey prat that's the rape train right
you know but there's that and then uh now i don't know if you heard there's that whole thing about
where they're saying 4chan yes basically uh just pranked and i'm loving it i'm absolutely loving
which one that's true hold on a second hold Hold on, hold on, hold on. What's that? Which accuser did 4chan, you know, prank them with?
Was it...
The one with the multiple...
The girl with the low self-esteem that kept on going to rape parties.
The last one?
Swetnick?
Swetnick?
Yeah.
Not Ramirez.
Ramirez is the one that she touched his penis.
Yeah.
Well, you know, that's every drunk guy accidentally at even an office party.
You know, your hands are everywhere.
I'm not going to say too much more.
But when it comes down to it, it's a party.
But it's a party.
But no, but that's the whole thing is that they're saying that Avenatti, he came forward on Twitter or whatever.
Yes.
And he said, oh, we've got a witness.
Oh, come on.
Give me a break.
Well, yeah.
If there's someone with so low morals to keep on doing that, you've got to wonder about this person.
They see right in the head.
Well, no.
Okay.
Good call, Robert. Thanks. Look, I'm trying to be fair here who knows you you don't until we hear from this woman
but again i preface it all with the timing and shit if they wanted fbi investigations they should
release this you know and feinstein got the letter. Six. They could have plenty of time for investigation. So it stinks to high heavens.
But I don't know what Brett Covina, maybe, you know, maybe became a nice guy because he was the fucking demon in college.
I don't know.
But I'm sorry.
Just because the way they play with Clarence Thomas, you know, I don't put anything past the Democrats.
The fucking bar is on the floor.
Good luck trying to get under it.
You know, so a guy in the New York Post, Paul Sperry, wrote a good article as far as, you know, the first accuser, Christine Blasey.
Dr. Christine Blasey Ford.
He wrote an article.
It was it was eight big problems for Christine Blasey Ford. He wrote an article. It was eight big problems for Christine Blasey Ford's story.
And I'll rattle them off as quick as I can.
He says, here are eight reasons why it's hardly anti-woman for senators to question her account at Thursday's hearing.
Number one, he says, for starters, Ford still can't recall basic details of what she says was the most traumatic event in her life.
Not where the assault took place.
She's not sure whose house it was or even what street it was on.
Nor when she's not even sure of the year, let alone the day and month.
Ford's not certain how old she was or what grade she was in when she says an older student violently molested her.
But she doesn't plead inebriation
she described having just one beer at the party so a liar liar whore liar whore you know number two
ford concedes she told no one what happened to her at the time not even her best friend or mother
that means she can rely on no contemporaneous witness to corroborate her story. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it.
Number three, worse, the four other people she identified as attending the party,
including Kavanaugh, all deny knowledge of the gathering in question,
including Leland Ingham, Kaiser, who she calls a lifelong friend.
She doesn't remember it.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it.
Kaiser's lawyers told the senate judiciary committee simply put
miss kaiser does not know mr kavanaugh and she has no recollection of ever being this is a close
friend of blasey ford of being at a party or gathering where he was present with or without
dr ford the other two potential witnesses mark Mark Judge and P.J. Smith,
also deny any recollection of attending such a party.
The committee took their sworn statements under penalty of perjury.
These witnesses directly contradict Professor Ford's allegations against Judge Kavanaugh.
Judiciary Committee Chairman Chuck Grassley advised Ford's attorneys last week.
So there's another fucking striker against her.
Liar, liar, whore liar whore
you know ford claimed that cavanaugh talked to kaiser and smith right after he assaulted her
yet neither shares her memory a liar liar whore liar whore you know number four her own immediate
family doesn't appear to be backing her up either her mother father and two siblings are all
conspicuously absent from a letter of support released by a dozen relatives,
mostly on her husband's side of the family.
Even her fucking siblings and parents won't.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.
Number five.
This summer, Ford tried to reach out to old friends from high school and college to jog her memory.
They couldn't help her.
I've been trying to forget this all my life,
and now I'm supposed to remember
every little detail Ford complained
to one friend in July?
Ugh.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore,
and you know it.
Number six, yet she still pushed forward
with her bombshell charge,
contacting the Washington Post tip line
and Democratic lawmakers
while hiring a Democratic activist lawyer.
Ford is also a Democrat,
as well as an
anti-Trump marcher raising questions about the motive and timing of the allegations along with
their veracity. Number seven, Ford contends that notes her therapist took in 2012 corroborate her
account but they don't mention Kavanaugh. They also point up inconsistency in her story. For
instance, her shrink noted that
Ford told her there were four boys in the bedroom, not two, as she now says. The notes also indicate
Ford said she was in her late teens when she was assaulted, but Ford now says she may have been
only 15 years old. And finally, number eight, in another inconsistency, Ford told the Washington
Post she was upset when Trump won in 2016 because Kavanaugh was mentioned as a Supreme Court pick. Ouch. But Kavanaugh wasn't added to Trump's list of possibles until November 2017, a full year later. That doesn't figure either.
Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.
On top of all that, Kavanaugh unequivocally denied Dr. Ford's allegations under penalty of perjury during a September 17th interview with committee lawyers, Grassley said,
adding he was forthright, empathetic in his testimony and fully answered all questions.
So, I don't know.
I think the third accuser is more credible.
But they all wouldn't be lying
about the same thing,
would they?
This should be
the Democrats' slogan.
What was Hillary's
stronger together
or my feet don't stink anymore?
What was her fucking...
But this should be
the Democrats' 2020
when they run
for the White House.
You're raping me!
This is rape! This is rape! This is House. You're raping me. This is rape.
This is rape.
This is rape.
You're raping me.
Please welcome your 2020 nominee, Cory Booker.
Detroit, let's go to Robin in Detroit.
Robin, how are you?
Welcome to the show.
Thank you, Nick.
First time caller.
You make me a little bit nervous, but I'll give you my...
Oh, Robin, please.
We're all friends here.
We're all friends here, Robin.
Take off your top, Robin.
You and I are about the same age,
and what these women are describing as sexual assault was what happened
every friday night at every party it was okay but it was learning about the the the others
but the the other side would say we were supposed to evolve at one point slavery was accepted in
this country and uh we evolved and and and should evolve, too, behavior-wise, right?
Is that—I mean, I'm playing devil's advocate here.
Right, but he—no, but he's being forced to answer for something that happened 30 years ago.
Well, that's—yeah, that's a—
And if it was a crime, it should have been brought up as a crime.
Well, that's a different argument than what you just said, But yes, I agree why you wouldn't go to the local authorities.
But what the third accuser is saying is that, you know, she witnessed.
Again, she said, I saw Brett and Judge together all the time.
She didn't say, I watched them put quaaludes into a bowl of punch. She said they were
always around when this stuff took place.
And so, yeah,
I agree.
So let's
let them speak. But yes,
I think you're right. Times have changed.
I was
at the University of Maine. Some horrible shit
went on there. The year before I got there,
I heard about it the year I got there,
like in my dormitory.
So I don't doubt this stuff goes on and stuff.
But that's the University of Maine, and that's football players.
That wasn't fucking Brett Kavanaugh.
But, you know, I don't know.
But the standards, you're right.
I mean, you know, I'm just sorry.
I feel, you know, in a day and age, and I said this before, Robin,
in a day and age where a guy can point to his penis and go,
I identify as a girl tonight,
and where a woman can point to her vagina and go,
and all bets are fucking off.
All bets are off.
How about that?
Fine.
You have to say the timing is beyond questionable,
and Feinstein did have that letter three months ago.
So why is this all happening at the 11th hour and people are just popping out of the woodwork?
Well, that's a big one for me.
The timing of all this is what is really a red flag that this is mostly political.
And I don't find it hard that you could surround.
It wouldn't be tough to round up a few feminists. And these girls are definitely, you know,
Blasey Ford, at least, is definitely an anti-Trump person.
So it wouldn't be hard to round up five or six of them
in the millions out there that hate Trump's guts.
So I agree with you.
The timing stinks.
Yeah, it sure does.
Yeah.
Hey, Robin, good call.
It would be interesting to see that for sure.
Thank you.
Thank you, Nick.
All right.
Anyhow.
I mean, brushing up against somebody,
and that's one thing,
but then saying,
oh, but they were in charge of spiking the drinks,
and he was like the train conductor.
Fellas, does that go on in Westchester Community College?
There are no parties at Westchester Community College.
There's no dorms.
It's a commuter school.
That was a sarcastic remark, Ryan.
I had to pick up on the comedy.
Back when I was in college away, though,
a frat at Binghamton did get shut down for pissing in the Jungle Juice.
Oh, my God. That's child's play. play and this is true i'm not kidding you my fraternity sigma no homecoming i
had a big day against umass it was the best day of my life i go back to our frat the place is packed
with alumni dave barkler who was our nose guard he was a wrestling champion from the state of
florida i'm talking to some alumni
who I don't even know.
They're like in sports jackets.
They're like 10 years older than me.
He's behind them.
There's a table with turkey on it.
A turkey that nobody's even cut yet.
And he's picking it up
and he's putting,
he's got his pants on.
He's putting his penis in the turkey
behind these guys.
I'm trying to have a conversation.
I'm not saying that Kavanaugh did anything that evil.
Break me off a drumstick, bitch.
This guy was fucking...
Loved him.
Did I just mention his name?
Okay, let's call him Phil.
Phil Rizzuto.
Holy cow, my dick's in the stuffing!
This guy was an all-state wrestler.
He had a knee operation. He just
got his cast off. He couldn't even walk.
He was still in crutches. One night, about five of us
were in the living room, and we said, let's get
this motherfucker. We were all drunk. We tried
to attack him with a bad leg.
He was throwing us around like we were ragdolls.
And I mean there were some big guys in front. He was throwing us around like we were ragdolls. And I mean there were some big guys
but he was throwing us around like we were ragdolls.
Anyways.
Who wants
some stuffing? Anybody?
Let's move off
the rape stuff. This is making me horny.
I didn't say
that. That was a quote from
what's his name?
The old bitter Bernieernie sanders west virginia's decision to allow smartphone voting for midterms huh that's a good idea that's a good idea no they're ignorant
that's ignorant for the first time in our nation's history, voters in 24 counties in West Virginia,
I didn't even know they had cell phones in West Virginia, I've got to be honest,
will be able to vote using their mobile phones.
Well, oh, you know what?
I think it says mobile homes.
I think there was a typo.
No, it says mobile phones. Well, some are hailing the decision because it will make voting easy for members of the military deployed overseas.
Experts are warning a possible security breach of course a fucking course vote for pedro sanchez who you think after researching previously available options
secretary's team identified the most electronic ballot delivery technology
required access to a desktop computer, printer, and scanner,
all of which present significant barriers to overseas voters,
especially those in combat zones.
Really? They don't have a printer or a scanner in fucking Kabul?
Or engaged in covert operations.
The state is partnering with a Boston, Massachusetts-based company
called Votes.
This is how I know
it's lefty shit.
They spell the company Votes.
V-O-A-T-Z.
You know what I'm saying?
No conservative
fucking right-minded people
are going to do that.
You know,
cars for fucking
whatever the K.
Votes has developed
a secure mobile
voting application
that allows voters
to receive, vote,
and return their ballots
electronically you you want me to believe that yeah you you okay this is so wrong in 19 levels
first of all the phones involve either apple or fucking google who have already proved their bias
against conservatives so kiss my left fucking nut on that secondly our government can't even prevent other
countries from hacking into our government computers but this will be all in the up and
up there'll be no are you fucking dog styling me votes with a z fucking as in zit pus come on
oh oh i see why it works. They're using an application.
It utilizes blockchain technology, fellas.
If you don't know what that is,
a database that can be shared
over across a network of computers.
Blockchain.
Isn't that...
That's another word for gang rape.
Isn't it a blockchain?
I bet you Kavanaugh was involved in this.
I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
I... The application uses blockchain technologies
to store electronically submitted ballots
until election night
and requires a heightened standard of identity verification.
Like what?
Somebody's ass print for users uh than traditional absentee ballot process um but do you see what i'm saying
we already know at least if you lean right in your politics like me we already know that the
big giant tech companies uh are the fucking enemy they're anti-fucking, anti-Republican,
anti-Conservative.
We've proven that
on 19 levels.
Matter of fact,
they have a story
about Twitter again
proving their fucking
horseshit.
So I say this is
a bad idea.
The only way,
and again,
this is the Democrats
because the only way
is to show up
with an ID,
and this is never
going to change,
show up with an ID,
maybe a state ID card too, proving
where the fuck you're from, and then they should
give you a receipt on how you voted.
And you should take a picture with the asshole
who's sitting at the desk, the old lady,
proving you were there,
and maybe exchange bodily fluids
with her. Something that
could really...
But anything, anything
to make the voting system
less secure
is what the Democrats are for.
You're asking black people
to show an ID?
They can't do that.
What are they, allergic to cameras?
The fuck are you talking about?
You need a fucking photo ID
to buy a six-pack, you cheese eaters.
But yes, that's a good idea.
Vote over your phone.
What could happen?
People from Snapchat will be voting a thousand times and fucking log cabin, fucking whatever.
Somebody grab a gay site quick.
Log cabin fucking whatever somebody grab a gay site quick
Yeah, I'm sure it'll be secure
Don't like it I'm all for making it easier if you can do it like me laying on the couch or whatever
Again proof though. I have to take a snap a picture or the TV takes a picture me on the couch or whatever again proof though i have to take a snap a picture or the tv takes a picture
me on the couch whatever and that's pointed in a database of you know i mean people are going to
send in dick pics i swear to god and they'll get votes depending how big the cock is we got this
giant black cock in georgia up by 22 no i know they'll be dick seriously it's open for all kinds
of fun right ryan i'm taking computer security classes nick this is dick. Seriously, it's open for all kinds of fun, right, Ryan?
I'm taking computer security classes, Nick.
This is so stupid.
It's a bad idea, right, Ryan?
This is so insecure.
This is Ryan saying this.
This kid's glued to his phone.
He has one of those flip phones from the... He's got a BlackBerry, doesn't he?
There it is.
There's the first... I didn't know Colonel This is the first.
I didn't know Colonel Sanders made the first cell phone call.
I'll get a family-sized bucket with a side of mashed potatoes and some fucking gravy.
You heard me, you fucking little... That looks like a guy from Get Smart.
Is that a phone he's holding up a sofa?
Look at that thing.
You could kill somebody with your cell phone back then next story
Bob's burgers actor lands in hot water I read this story today right I read this
story and shit and And, uh,
they mention the actor who does the
voiceover and stuff.
I didn't even realize it's the guy that I work with.
He's a comic. He's a lefty, funny dude.
I did a, uh,
I did a pilot with him. We were bicycle cops.
John Benjamin. I haven't seen
him for so long. I mean,
he's aged about a hundred years. So have I. But I'm just saying I read the article reading John and didn't put two and two together. And we did a pilot and it was actually on a website for with bike cops and him and Sam Seder,
another real kind of lefty writer.
They wrote the pilot.
It was very funny, and we bullied them.
We were bike cops.
They were like nerdy cops.
We bullied them and shit,
and it was really fucking fun.
I didn't put that together.
John Benjamin.
We've done a lot of voiceover stuff on Comedy Center.
Voice actor H. John Benjamin.
Wait a minute.
Is this the same guy?
I think it is.
Who's known for his roles on the animated TV shows Archer and Bob's Burger.
Facing backlash for a recent tweet, which was seen by followers as racist.
Quick idea.
This is your own followers calling you out.
This is how pussy fucking Twitter and social media.
Quick idea for the name of a tea shop.
Oh, me so horny.
Me love you.
Oh, long time tea shop.
He tweeted on Saturday, which he's so much funnier than that.
But, uh.
Well, baby.
Me so horny.
Me so horny.
That's from a movie, fellas.
Again, I've given you a list.
Full Metal Jacket.
Have you seen it?
Yeah.
Ryan, seen it?
All right.
His Me So Horny joke was a famous line from Stanley Kubrick's 87 film,
Full Metal Jacket.
Didn't land well.
First of all, it's not funny.
And this guy is really funny.
John Benjamin is a funny dude. It's just something he thought of. That's what I hate this guy was this guy's really funny john benjamin's a funny
dude it's just something he thought of that's what i hate about twitter and this has happened to me
you think of something off the top of your fucking head you throw it out there and then people come
back you're a professional comedian that was fucking some dealer yeah i didn't put a i didn't
put one one tenth of a second's thought into it you cheese dicks and then when you do put something
out there people will try to improve your joke and and you know this is the thing me and colin
quinn get nuts over and then you go yeah i'm glad we could do the heavy lifting for you we gave you
the premise now run with it for the next six hours fucking but this guy's funny and that was stupid
but again again is it really to the level where he has to apologize and he might lose his job and shit
you know it was an asian stereotype and uh whatever okay but he he here's the typical
response on twitter really disappointing to hear this type of racist garbage from you tweeted one
user i was a fan oh big fan loyal fan you were a fan and he made one mistake, which was even arguable.
So you're not his fan anymore.
Why don't you go fuck your mother's goat, you piece of fucking ass meat?
I'm losing my tits here.
Really?
I was a fan.
Oh, so John Benjamin lost a follower out of the fucking half million he has or whatever.
How's he going to go on?
Do you realize how insignificant you are?
You fucking goo gobbler.
Oh, I was a fan.
I'm morally superior.
I'll put it out there on Twitter.
Fuck yourself.
Ow.
Ah, the Asian joke.
Here's all the jokes.
Here's another tweet.
The lowest of the low-hanging fruits, wrote another user.
Stick to burgers, Bob.
Why don't you stick a burger in your ass?
I'll drive a Lionel up in there.
All the bitter, envious people who wanted to be comics didn't have the balls to.
And boy, do they jump on you on Twitter.
They didn't have the nerve to do what you do for a living, John.
They'd rather work 100 hours a week at the mattress factory
making 11 cents an hour
fucking their fat, ugly wives up in Buffalo
or whatever the fuck.
But they're as funny as you
when they're loading trucks at the UPS fucking garage.
Just bitter.
You can pick them out in the audience, by the way.
When you do this long enough,
there'll always be a guy sitting there with his head tilted,
with this cunty look on his face,
usually with those fucking, you know,
those horn-rimmed glasses,
so you know how he voted.
It's the face you see in every window at Starbucks,
sitting there by himself on his lonely fucking computer,
judging you.
I love it.
I love what I do for a living
just because it bothers people.
And then John makes the typical mistake.
Sorry I offended many.
I agree this joke was lazy and incompetent
and formulated quickly
while making a cup of oolong tea.
The fact that it was a famous line in a movie
does not give me license
to make light of the big picture
stereotyping of it.
See, then he shows his liberal side.
OK, now you take it in the ass, John. Should have said, you know what?
Fucking it wasn't the best work, but, you know, quit judging me every time I breathe.
Big stereotype of people, Vietnamese people, Asians, Americans in general.
I'm sorry I ever made that cup of tea. Oh, he's blaming it on the tea.
You got to go with Tetley's.
Then you can make a tit joke and get in trouble.
And thanks for making me realize this in quick order.
An Asian stereotype.
Oh, Margaret Cho, who I like, by the way.
And this might be Margaret Cho.
I met her back in the early 90s, mid 90s.
I like her. She's that Korean comedian. And I think she's funny as hell.
But she's made a living doing Asian stereotypical shit.
And you're going to say, yeah, but she's Asian. And I'm going to say to you, OK, let's follow that logic through.
I have some Italian in me, which means I have some black blood in me, according to Keith Robinson and my two black friends.
So they always point that out.
So under that logic, I should be able to go
hogwash crazy with the N-word jokes and
say anything. But here's Margaret
Cho. I fucking like her, and I'm just saying,
but this is stereotypical.
Normally, something like this
is so fun for me, but I didn't
really want to go on the cruise. I had a lot of reasons to want to stay close to home. Guys, this is so fun for me, but I didn't really want to go on the cruise I had a lot of reasons to want to stay close to home guys
This is not what I sent
Huh? No, it isn't. That's it. This is the video. It is not the video and I'll prove you wrong later play it out anyways
Normally something like this is so fun for me, but I didn't really want to go on the cruise.
I had a lot of reasons to want to stay close to home last year.
My mother had a heart attack, and she's doing much better now.
She's making a full recovery.
That's not what I fucking sent you.
It really feels great.
Oh, white people.
The Asian woman's mother's all right.
Let me show how much I like minority.
It was really scary when it was happening.
My mother's very new age.
She astral projects.
I like to leave my body.
to leave my body.
I started to do a story project
in 1972.
No, because I have
a very special workshop
with Leonard Nimoy.
Can you pause it for a second?
The people in the audience
are laughing at her
doing a stereotypical Asian thing.
Those people are very liberal
that go to see Margaret Cho. So they're showing they're fucking laughing at something if
i did i understand she's korean i understand that but i already explained the logic go ahead
and i like to leave my buddy and i fly everywhere Everywhere! I go all over, everywhere!
And then I hover over your house.
It's so messy!
How can you live that way?
You have to clean up sometimes.
I can't believe it.
Just do a little bit every day.
Then all clean.
And mommy, I like to travel in an altitude of 33,000 feet.
You know, that's my comfortable cruising attitude.
Alright, that's enough.
You get my point.
I understand.
So I guess that's okay.
Right? Is that how it fucking works?
So I'm only allowed to do Italian jokes? We're going to stay in our lanes?
And Quinn had the
best line on Tough Crowd. He said,
let's celebrate
our diversity without pointing out our differences which is you know hits it right on the fucking
head and uh I like Margaret Cho but I'm just saying I'm trying to make a point here that John
Benjamin has to apologize you should apologize for the quality of joke which he did because he's way
fucking funnier than that or whatever but stop with your uh I used to be a fan. Okay.
Now you're just a piece of shit. Go follow
somebody else.
Who wants a fan like you?
Debt van.
Vietnamese comedian.
Anyways, let's get on to Twitter.
Once again, they're showing their true colors.
The two-faced suckers of Satan's
asshole.
Twitter refuses to uphold harassment rules against Antifa.
Twitter has refused to uphold its harassment rules against Antifa account,
which encouraged harassment of Senator Ted Cruz after permanently blacklisting InfoWars host Alex Jones last month based on the same rules.
The clip we showed yesterday, Ted Cruz getting chased out of the restaurant, smash racism
D.C., an account which openly supports Antifa and the abolition of ICE, uploaded a, we showed
it yesterday, a video of left-wing activists harassing Cruz and his wife at a restaurant.
Cruz has been friends with, oh, it says with Creep Kavanaugh for 20 years.
Where did I pull this from?
Oh, the Associated Press.
Yeah, that explains it.
Creep Kavanaugh.
Imagine that this is reporting
in this day and age.
You're supposed to keep
your personal bias out of it.
It's not a fucking blog.
It's from the AP.
Creep Kavanaugh for 20 years.
Now Cruz is on
Judiciary Committee
hearing his testimony.
Fascists not welcome
the group captioned the video.
Receiving over 30,000 likes
from fucking jerk-offs
and losers everywhere.
And 12,000 retweets.
According to Twitter's rules,
here's the important part.
The social network
prohibits behavior
that crosses the line
into abuse,
including behavior that harasses. Okay, check off the box, intimidate, check off the box, or uses fear to silence another user's voice.
However, the video remains, despite the fact that InfoWars' Alex Jones was banned from Twitter this month for a similar video in which he filmed himself berating CNNnn reporter oliver darcy and here's that video
look at this right here the guy that goes around policing and calling for censorship and then
claims that trump's wrong there's no censorship of conservatives or patriots you are incredibly
shameful how are you doing alex you're just at you, look what, you are literally an anti-American, anti-free speech coward.
You're going to go down the history books at the Criminal News Network.
This is one of the main, this is one of the main people right here who thinks you have no memory.
Who sits there and lobbies.
Show him.
That sits there and lobbies people to take other news off claiming they're fake and
cnn is the fakest wmd gulf arab state uh dictatorship funded fun believable hey come
on over here i want to get this guy on tape this is unbelievable i was literally saying i don't see
the criminal news network here,
but indeed we do, right there at the front of the line of the trough,
to try to get in there and try to shut down conservative libertarian speech.
And, of course, he comes from the loins of Glenn Beck, the king.
I mean, look at those eyes, folks.
If you want to see the eyes of a rat, no, I mean, seriously, just look at the camera.
Look at those eyes.
Look at that slobbering to the system and the criminals at CNN, all their warmongering and death and all their fake news.
And then running around trying to police the Internet and try to shut people down.
And then you think people are so stupid.
On CNN a week later, you say no one's censoring anybody.
No one's pushing for censoring.
And then you say that Trump is the one attacking the press.
But it only does it stand up to your lies.
Just look at this guy.
Amen.
That is who will rule your life.
Him and people like Stelter.
That is who want to look at that smile.
Alex, Alex.
You know, I'd say so.
I've known Oliver quite a while.
All right.
That's good.
So they they took they booted Alex Jones for that.
But it's all right to chase Ted Cruz and his wife out of it.
That's not harassment.
They bragged about it after this.
They today we permanently suspended at real Alex Jones and at InfoWars from Twitter and Periscope.
We took this action based on news reports of tweets and videos posted yesterday that violate our abusive behavior policy in addition to the accounts
past violations
Just to face fucks, you know, that's
Twitter currently has hundreds of Antifa and openly pro Antifa counts on the social network
Even though the group has been registered as a domestic terrorist group in the United States
Is Alex Jones registered as a domestic terrorist group in the United States.
Is Alex Jones registered as a domestic terrorist?
Twitter also claimed last year they would, in quote, unquote,
take enforcement action against organizations that use slash have historically used violence as a means to advance their cause,
but have refused to take action against pro-antifa accounts.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no lefties have no moral compass. You have no compass whatsoever.
Yeah, there's Dorsey, the fucking founder of Twitter.
Place those fingers with a dick.
Seriously.
At least he had the balls to admit that they leaned left.
Dorsey did it, didn't it?
Yeah, it was Dorsey.
But there's evidence right there.
Anyways.
Let's take one last call.
Our buddy Luke in California.
Luke, what's up?
What's going on, Nick?
Just a white man living in a black man's world.
Get on, Loke.
Yeah, yeah, you know.
I feel you.
Yeah, I wanted to bring it to your attention.
You already know this.
It's your fault for all this, what's going down with Kavanaugh.
Okay, why is that? Because white men for years have been encouraging these white bitches
to falsely accuse black men of rape.
And now they're starting to bite someone's ass, and now it's a problem.
Yeah, right.
So that's what you get.
Yeah, there you go.
It's always our fault.
And, yeah, falsely accused.
For every one black guy that's falsely accused of raping a white woman,
I'd say there's about 40 that are rightly accused.
I'm from the late, great Patrice O'Neill.
Bully.
Luke, you've got to do your research on college campuses and, you know,
players at Alabama and Georgia and, you know,
ask how many white girls fucking even dare walk by them.
Yeah, you're talking about Alabama and Georgia.
I don't dare walk by there.
I live in California.
I hear you, but it's not our fault.
Yeah, we encouraged white bitches to accuse black men of falsity.
Come on, will you?
I want to see a Hollywood movie.
Here's an original movie idea, Luke.
How about a movie coming out of Hollywood from the liberals
where a black man is rightly accused of rape?
That would be an original thinking out of the box.
Or in the box, the white box.
Y'all did it uh well i don't know no not rightly i was gonna say um uh what's that what's that damn the first movie ever made
which was racist as fuck oh uh birth of a nation uh yeah birth of a nation there you go i get no that wasn't just a fire
i get birth of a nation running on a loop no man
all right who wants to see that who wants to see what
a black man rightly accused of rape what do you mean It's not an interesting movie. That's actually a good point.
It happens so often.
All right, Luke, you're my last caller of the day.
I got to go.
We're getting along swimmingly, so let's not ruin it.
But call back tomorrow.
Yes, sir.
Take it easy.
See you, Luke.
I like it.
Can we get more black calls?
Luke, spread the word, by the way.
Notice it's the free shows he calls.
But that's Whitey's fault, too.
Because, again, the guy, look, he's got to open his fridge,
and there's a 40-ounce and a pound of government cheese.
Oh, they eliminated that program years ago, I was told,
by a young Mexican fella.
Anyways, that's it, folks.
I'm sweating like I have John this year
I don't know why
but thank you for tuning in to
the show and
did I forget anything
come out go to nickdip.com
and buy something
check out my tour dates
come out and spread the word
could you please and yes we added
over 100 YouTube followers.
And from Kyle from Rhode Island, I didn't really give a fuck about YouTube.
I'm a stand-up comic, not a nerdy little faggot like yourself
who fucking sits home and counts his YouTube followers.
But when I got into this podcast, I was told it was a good way to grow the show.
That's why.
Meanwhile, I'll be doing comedy in the week and making more in one night
than you'll
make all year that's because you're a fucking bitter little jerk off from rhode island but
call back tomorrow if you're a subscriber which i doubt you are speaking of youtube real quick we
have a super chat burnt toast paid ten dollars to say you've entertained me long enough so i guess
he's satisfied with the content well i don't know how to take that burnt toast first of all you you
handle his burnt toast.
Does that mean you're a black person?
Seriously, I'm putting it together.
And you don't like the way I talked to Luke, the brother who called in?
I don't know, but he paid $10 to say that.
Well, burnt toast, goddammit.
We got your name on the air.
I like it.
And I'm doing my detective work.
I just got off the phone with
a black guy named luke um you're burnt toast maybe you're a white guy with a stupid handle
but i doubt it and maybe uh you're like you know what i didn't care for the uh birth of a nation
the show should end now anyways that is it folks remember you think it i'll say it you're welcome
support live comedy and uh we'll see you tomorrow, some of yous. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints Outro Music