The Nick DiPaolo Show - Lefty Whacko Stalks Kavanaugh | Nick Di Paolo Show #1220
Episode Date: June 8, 2022Matthew speaks to politicians. DeSantis takes action securing schools. Dwarf Vs Porn star. Watson accusers still pouring in. Kid Rock on the offensive....
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Hey guys, I want to thank you for watching and contributing to the show.
Every day I read something about a comedian or a comedy producer that supports censorship.
Fuck these people.
Patton Oswalt.
Comedy is meant to be uncensored.
Nothing is off limits and if the truth hurts your feelings, then too bad.
Change the station.
Don't tell anyone else what they can or can't say.
That's why I created this show,
a place to find unfiltered and brutally honest comedy.
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the media running libs would never put this show out there,
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me and my team,
along with your support and contributions.
To that end,
please consider contributing to the show to keep us going.
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You fuel the show, and I appreciate all your generosity.
We can't do it without you. Oh yeah, oh yeah.
Hello folks, welcome to the show.
Wednesday, Wednesday, one more day here.
Trying to figure out next week. Dallas has family in. Kids, specifically. Good father.
And I've got to figure something out here. We'll talk after, Dallas.
Me and you might do four shows tomorrow. Put them in the can.
Whatever we have to do.
Otherwise, I'd just say,
fuck it, I'm going to take the week off.
But, you know, I had to go to Ohio
and missed a couple days last week.
I feel guilty about that.
But I'll just call a few people.
Maybe we can interview them.
They're like, get the fuck out of here.
I said, what?
What's the matter with you?
Hey, folks, look.
Hi, how are you?
Hey, Hoop.
Hey, Hoop.
Check it out.
Where did these go?
Hey, Hoop.
Fourth of July.
Celebrating the demise of my third wife.
Big Chinese fella pulled me over.
Yeah, that's right, folks.
I lost that.
These floor are crowns, by the way.
Because, you know, I played sports and shit.
Busted them up. It's what you do when you like
pussy as a kid. Anyways,
and I broke this one's second dick.
But, you know, that's a gilligit.
Anyhow, yeah,
when I was doing the movie that's coming out
that we're premiering with Louis
in New York and Boston at the end of the month, I told you this, the tooth, the crown came
out.
I bit a lollipop in between scenes.
I got all panicked.
I was afraid to tell Louis.
I thought he was going to lose his shit.
He goes, fuck it, your character lost a tooth.
Let them figure it out.
Which makes sense, actually.
Fits the character.
Anyway, so last night, well, I went to the dentist last week, said they're looking at
my tongue, making sure it's not cancer.
And the lady said, yeah, these four are a little loose.
Well, I only paid about 10 grand to have them fixed.
Well, you know.
And so they, when I was making the movie with Louie, that one came out.
So the dentist here, who's a great dentist, by the way, you know, they have to make a fucking mole.
They make a temporary, and then they send it to a lab, and they make a real permanent one based on that.
That's how permanent it is.
They call it permanent.
I mean, I didn't pay like it was temporary.
You know what I'm saying?
So anyhow, last night I'm eating a peach,
watching the Sox,
and I feel a little crunch.
I'm thinking it's the label.
You know how they put decals on your fucking fruit?
Looks like a NASCAR by the time you're done.
I feel, and I go, oh, don't even,
and I went, motherfucker.
So then I go on the line reading about it.
It's very common.
People swallow it.
And they're all talking about, you know, rifling through your shit.
Like I'm going to panhandle to find my goddamn crown.
But that's what they're saying.
You can, it'll pass normally.
Just check your, no, I won't.
You couldn't, there's not a temperature hot enough
that you can boil that fuck and put it back in my mouth.
Maybe there is.
You better not be charging me again
because this fucking thing's supposed to stay there, doctor.
And I love the, dentists is great.
Dentists is great.
So what they use though, fucking paste from third
grade? How does that
fucking happen? I'm 60
years old. I can't have a nice peach from
Georgia? I mean, she was
like 28. Nice.
Kill her, girl! Not funny.
Alright, anyways.
What else? Real quick. Red Sox win their sixth
in a row last night.
Sixth in a row.
Fucking, they're on a road trip.
They're 5-0 on the road trip, West Coast.
And Devers leads in everything.
Fucking A.
Anyways, that and what?
The Tampa Bay Lightning has tied the series 2-2 with the Rangers.
They took two on home ice
heading back to New York.
Phenomenal, phenomenal series.
And that's about it.
I just fucking... I take care
of all my work when I get home.
Do what I gotta do. I don't get to the
TV till about 11.30 at night.
And then I'm up till fucking...
Literally three every night. No wonder I feel like shit. Alright, let's get to it real quick. I just saw this before
we came on. Kavanaugh threatened an armed California man incensed about the leaked Supreme
Court draft opinion expected to overturn Roe v. Wade. Imagine a guy is that upset.
What, are you going to snatch?
You probably do.
Probably is a trans guy.
Who am I kidding?
So upset about Roe v. Wade.
He was arrested near Judge Brett Kavanaugh's Maryland home Wednesday.
A report said he's outside the fucking guy's uh outside the judge's house you know you're
fucking crazy the man who was not identified allegedly told police officers he wanted to
kill kavanaugh he told the cops that this has come from the washington post in a statement
the supreme court said the man was armed made threats against justice kavanaugh. All I think about, anytime I hear a judge or an attorney being threatened,
I'm sorry, it goes to this guy right here.
My favorite.
Ready to be born again, Ms. Bowden?
That's me on my honeymoon.
You know, kids, Gilligant,. The suspect was taken to a local police station
after he was arrested at about 1.50 a.m. He was carrying an unspecified weapon. What do you mean
unspecified weapon? What the fuck does that mean? What is it, half spatula, half fucking
pruning shears, and burglary tools, according to the Post. So he's in deep doo-doo, I would think.
The suspect who appeared to be in his mid-20s,
oh my God, just a soy boy.
They're just violent.
That's what the left does.
They're the ones, they're the ones to violence quickest.
Don't forget that.
Don't forget all the riots of summer.
Those weren't Republicans.
They never are.
The suspect who appeared to be in his mid-20s
did not make it into Kavanaugh's property in suburban Montgomery County, but was taken
into custody on a nearby street. Imagine a 20-year-old guy that upset about something that
really doesn't involve him. In a statement, White House spokesperson Andrew Bates said President
Biden, here's the quote, condemns the actions of this individual in the strongest terms,
which is an outright fucking lie. If you remember a month ago, they were protesting in front of
judges' houses, remember? Fucking red freckle face. What's her name? My girlfriend was up there
saying they have a right to protest, remember? They weren't saying shit. They weren't saying
they shouldn't be there. Bullshit of this individual in the strongest terms.
And that he's grateful to law enforcement for quickly apprehending the suspect.
No, you're not. You're disappointed.
As the president has consistently made clear, public officials, including judges,
what, the ones on fucking America's Got Talent,
must be able to do their jobs without concern for their personal safety
or that of their families, Bates said in a statement.
You're lying.
Fucking bullshit.
And you're a piece of shit.
The opinion could be publicly released by the end of June.
That's when real violence...
You know, they're already putting out domestic threat warnings about this summer
because of all the shit that's going down, this ruling here, and there's a couple of them I can't even think of right now.
It's a big summer for decisions, and they're already putting out, you know, on this issue they go both supporters and, you know, people who are anti-abortion. Can you fucking imagine? We're
not worrying about international terrorists when the Supreme Court session is scheduled to end.
Anyway, so that's that. And don't pretend you condemn it, you fucking lefties, you Democrats.
Antifa did your dirty work for you, so did BLM. And this is no different. Okay? You're not fooling anybody.
By the way, Chesa Bodine, do you know who that is? District Attorney of San Francisco was recalled
last night, officially. Oh, the dummies out in Fagville finally waking up, huh? Had enough
stepping on dirty syringes and having people take dumps on your front yard. Yeah.
You know who Chesapeau Dean, you know who he is?
He's literally the son of terrorists.
Kathy Boudin and another guy named Paul Gilbert, I think.
They robbed the Brinks truck in 1981, murdered like three Brinks guys, cops.
That's who San Francisco voted.
The daughter of Miss Bodine.
That's who they put as district attorney.
And then they wonder why it didn't work out.
Are you guys, you're so fucking stupid on the left.
I don't even know what to say anymore.
You're fucking retarded.
There should be one party.
Far right red.
That's right.
Mussolini style.
I know he was a... Okay, let's move on.
I'm getting all fired up here over nothing.
How you doing, everybody?
Welcome to the show.
Hey, Hope.
Hope.
A letter from Matthew to the Corinthians. No, to the politicians.
Matthew McConaughey, movie star, and kind of a fake moderate, in my opinion. I don't know what
he's up to. I don't trust anybody from Hollywood. I like him. I think he's sincere, but he's also a
great actor. Keep that in mind. Movie star Matthew McConaughey
went from the big screen
to the bully pulpit Tuesday
to make an impassioned plea
for compromise on new gun control measures
from the White House briefing room podium.
Even though, who are you compromising?
All the people that own guns lawfully
do the right thing by them.
There's millions upon millions.
They don't do anything wrong, actually.
So if anybody should be compromising,
it's the fucking left and their stupid
gun control. We have a million laws
on the books. Try enforcing them, you shithead.
And everyone that's on the thing wouldn't stop any
of this stuff. Anyways, back to the
show. But at least McConaughey
is kind of walking the walk a little bit.
He was the best guy around.
Yeah, as far as D.C. goes.
While the 52-year-old insisted...
I got a little video of him talking.
Oh, did I go over it?
Yep.
Wow, I'm on top of things.
Anyways, let's take a look at what Mr. McConaughey had to say.
He didn't really say anything new to me.
Sounded like talking points.
The one good thing I did like, he said,
he said, people who believe in the Second
Amendment are sick of having it hijacked by psycho whatever. I'm paraphrasing, but let them talk.
Responsible gun owners are fed up with the Second Amendment being abused and hijacked
by some deranged individuals. These regulations are not a step back.
by some deranged individuals.
These regulations are not a step back.
They're a step forward for a civil society and the Second Amendment.
Dallas Players Club.
He listed off a bunch of stuff, you know, the red...
I'm not with the red flag laws
because that's just
what you're doing is getting
rid of what they call due process, basically.
Easily abused. Of course.
Somebody you don't
like, you call and go, hey,
this asshole has a gun, buh-buh-big.
And he's saying, he mentioned that too, that
there should be, there's more, right?
He's reading it, yeah. Go ahead.
No, the video's done. there's just more in the text.
Oh, that's right, I decided to pick the one
line.
I'm the one
who needs a vacation.
While the 52-year-old insisted
he wasn't
anti-gun, see, with the
red flag laws,
they can just come and grab your guns
before they even investigate whatever the fuck.
If somebody makes a call and says, Nick's a loan attack
and
shooting squirrels off my house, somebody
so that's
meh. I understand.
As far as raising,
again, raising the age
of assault, AR-15,
do you know that
I read a statistic yesterday, what is it, 90, 85,
90 percent of the mass shootings are done by people in their 30s? So I don't know. And they
could wait till they're 21. I don't have a big problem with that, I guess. Although you do send
them off to war, don't you, before that, Dallas, don't you? Yeah, so I don't know. Again, there's a fine line between you don't want
to infringe on people's privacy and whatever the fuck. Can I just give you my true feelings? You
can't stop it, folks. We're a country of 350 million people. Yeah, you can put a few things
in place, but even all the shit we have in place now, the FBI drops the ball half the time. No offense. Local cops drop
the ball all the time.
18-year-olds today are nothing like
the 18-year-olds 40, 50 years ago.
No, they're much better, much stronger.
No, it's actually a good point.
Yeah, what do you mean? Your grandfather
wasn't playing Halo?
Although they are well
trained as far as shooting,
which makes them more dangerous.
So anyways.
He listed a lot of shit that I've already heard.
But anyways.
He insisted he wasn't anti-guns.
And that Uvalde is where he learned responsible gun ownership.
That's where he was born.
And he said new gun laws were needed.
We need to restore our American values.
That's what it is.
You got to dig deeper.
And we need responsible. We're producing. We need to restore our American values. That's what it is. You've got to dig deeper. And we need responsible.
We're producing zombies, man.
Just fucking kids who are just staring at a screen since they're six.
The minute they start crying, your mother throws an iPad.
Six, since they're born.
Oh, stop it.
No newborn babies looking at an iPad.
At least wait until they're one.
And we need responsible gun ownership,
he said defiantly during his 20-minute speech,
after which he left without taking questions.
What are you, a Joe Biden fact?
Should have taken plenty of questions.
He said, we need background checks.
We need to raise the minimum age to purchase an AR to 21.
We need a waiting period.
Again, we've heard a lot of these for those rifles.
People say waiting periods are a waste of time.
We need red flag laws and consequences
for those who abuse them, which was a good point.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me. He did.
Look, after listening to Biden
trying to
wax poetically on these
points,
guys like this are much better communicators.
That's why Reagan was a, excuse me, mummy.
He said he had met with many of the family's victims
after the massacre, recalling that one young,
this one made me sick, young victim,
nine-year-old Mate Rodriguez
had to be identified by her green Converse shoes.
Read into that, whatever you want.
McConaughey asked his wife to hold up the
shoes, which displayed
a heart. Can you imagine this poor woman?
A heart that
Matej, is that it?
Had hand-drawn on the rubber
toe cover. These same
green Converse on her feet turned out to be the
only clear evidence that could identify
her after the shooting. His voice cracked when he said that. Matei wanted to be a marine biologist. I apologize
if I'm butchering her name, and cared for the environment so much that her mom declined the
city at Uvalde's offer to release balloons as a tribute after her death. McConaughey said her mom said, oh no,
Matei wouldn't want to litter. The A-list act also flashed a self-portrait that one of the victims,
a 10-year-old Alethea Ramirez, had drawn. He told of how the little girl's parents, Ryan and Jessica,
said she dreamed of going to art school in Paris and one day sharing her art with the world.
McConaughey later went on to slam
those in power who have failed to act,
insisting gun control should be
a non-partisan
issue.
He's had enough of the...
Fucking people. You have no idea
how to defend a nation.
I don't know.
He's throwing around the phrase gun control
a little too much for me,
Matt.
Isn't there
somebody else out there?
Somebody was bothered. I don't know who it was.
It was a journalist. Somebody said they were bothered that
he didn't bring up one of his
co-Hollywood
Alec Baldwin and his incident.
I don't know why the fuck.
He says, let's admit it.
We can't truly be leaders if we're living for reelection, he said, which is that's definitely true.
With real leadership, let's start giving all of us good reason to believe that the American dream is not an illusion, which was another good lie.
I'm loving it. that the American dream is not an illusion, which was another good line. So he weighed in, you know,
and I'm waiting for Alec Baldwin to weigh in.
That'll be interesting, wouldn't it?
Again, I hate to be the pessimist here.
350 million people in a country.
When people go, they're in here.
You know what I mean?
It's very hard to see.
Yes, some of these guys have given us sent up flags.
But even that, when they put shit on Facebook and shit, how quick do you get to it?
How quick do you get to him?
And now you've got dickheads with such a media-driven country.
You've got young guys with such a media-driven country.
You've got young guys, you know,
calling in fake things.
There's already been a few of those since the Evaldi shooting.
It's a tough thing.
And I don't like this idea,
you've got to act.
You've got to act now.
Well, it has to help.
It's playing on the emotional thing.
Yes.
You can get things moved faster.
Yeah, you don't act just for the sake of acting.
You know what I mean?
Look, the first thing is to harden the schools.
That's the first thing.
If we can't agree on that, what the fuck's more of a deterrent than a couple of ex-cops or vets standing in front of the school with guns?
What is more of a deterrent?
And don't tell me it's not in the fucking budget.
You're sending billions to Ukraine, you fuck.
Excuse my language.
I sit on a pillow because my ass is very sore.
A man goes to a party.
Now I'm falling off the pillow sliding.
I can't wait to die soon.
I'm just miserable around the clock. How about that?
Fucking fuck. Anyways,
let's
move on to another guy weighing in
on the gun shooter thing who has a little
bit of power and has been
in the news and usually makes the right moves.
Ron DeSantis taking action
on securing schools. Florida Governor Ron DeSantis signed a series of new school safety measures
into law Tuesday in the aftermath of Uvalde, Texas school massacre. He's just, he's had enough of this
shit. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore. The bill will require school safety agents to receive crisis.
I don't like training and shit.
I'm not a big training guy.
I'm an action guy.
Hire the people who already know what they're doing.
Cops and vets.
You don't have to train shit.
Here's your gun.
Go stand over there by the statue of Christopher Columbus
somebody pissed on last night.
To receive crisis intervention training.
What's a school safety agent, by the way?
A crossing guard?
Is that somebody who walks around the school?
Like a 70-year-old woman who's in retirement
and moving on to the second thing.
Yeah, well, what does she do at the school? Is like fucking napoleon dynamite i need some chapstick my lips hurt really
bad to receive crisis intervention training mandate uh districts to certify that at least
80 of staffers get mental health training you can can't ask your teachers to be shrinked to
or
whoever you're asking.
Mental health training and allow
safety. How about this?
You tell them, look out
for the kids with trench coats
and fucking black lipstick
and a goth look. And look out for the
ones that have no friends at recess.
Those are the ones you keep going.
Let's get more practical. Allow safety officers to make arrests at charter schools. I'm not crazy, I just don't give a fuck. The legislation will also preserve
the Marjory Stonem Douglas Public Safety Commission, a board formed to specifically analyze information
from the school shooting and other mass violence incidents in the state
and address recommendations and system improvements.
Well, everybody's suggesting shit.
It just seems like there's so many laws that are on the books,
or I don't know what to tell you, other than, I'm going to say it again,
harden the schools.
That is the number, that should be the number one thing out of his mouth.
Fuck the mental training.
What are you going to do?
Sit in with a kid, shrink, or tell him he has to go to his shrink?
You know, then the lawyer's getting involved.
Every child needs a safe and secure learning environment, DeSantis said in a release Tuesday.
By signing HB 1421, we continue to build on the many steps we have taken since 2019 to implement the recommendations
of the Marjory Stoneman Douglas Public Safety Commission, while also making record investments
in mental health and school safety.
You do. You have to look into mental health.
I agree with all that.
But that gets so personal.
You know what I mean?
You have to get into people's homes almost to see what's going on.
Did you see?
I didn't report this story, did I?
This woman, she was working at a restaurant.
I don't think I, I didn't, I should, I don't know how I didn't choose this one.
She was working at a restaurant yesterday somewhere,
and she sees a couple come in with like three kids, two girls and a boy.
And the boy, she notices that the couple orders for the two girls,
and the boy gets no food,
and he's got scrapes and bruises on him.
So she was standing, she said,
in the only place in the restaurant where she could write a note,
and she wrote, do you need help?
So only the boy could read it.
I don't know if he was like six or seven.
And he said yes.
So they intervene.
Yeah, turns out this fucking kid was being beaten
and starved by his psycho fucking parents.
She intervened.
She wasn't even supposed to be working that day.
Why I didn't report this.
I didn't do this one, did I?
She wasn't even supposed to be working that day.
That's when you believe in God.
You know what I mean?
You're like, that's intervention.
That's crazy, man.
She saved this kid's life.
They took him away from his psycho parents.
Ugh.
That's what I'm talking about, though.
You never know the home situation.
It could be right next door.
I don't know how you detect it.
I know you have to keep making an effort, but then the ACLU will get involved.
You're stepping in.
There's a fine line between security and, you know, your civil rights.
And it gets real ugly.
I'm not going to solve it here.
Let's go on to a whore wrestling a dwarf in Russia.
That's what I'm, I thought we needed a light one
after the school shooting material.
Here's the headline, Dick Sucker versus dwarf.
My wife writes the dirtiest shit.
Mahit Suleymanov, a four-foot-tall dwarf and social media star.
Hey, hope.
Get out of here.
And social media star competed in a hugely outlandish and controversial,
I'll decide that, epic fighting championship event earlier this month
against a female porn star.
Lucky him.
I like female porn.
There, you got to give it to him.
You got to give it to him about eight hours a day.
Alexandra Pushkin.
I can't make this up.
Her name's Pushkin.
With a Russian promotion,
once more fielding another freak show,
intergender mixed martial arts fight
the hell's the matter with her nothing bite those tattoos right off
sully monoff who was the much shorter of the two that would be
fucking little little little hunter biden managed to successfully take down Puskin on cue
during the opening round of their bizarre MMA matchup,
establishing mounts on occasion.
Of course, you're fighting a porn girl.
You got a mounter.
You're not a man if you don't.
Between scrambles, with the duo eventually trading strikes to boot.
Let's go to the action.
Let's go to the action.
Oh boy, where's the Vaseline?
Get up, you dirty whore.
I'll knock the dicks out of your mouth.
Ladies, do you believe now that we're physically...
Look at this guy.
That's her manager, I'm guessing.
Oh, boom!
Look at that.
She's been in that position her whole life.
Nice going, shorty.
I'm telling you.
What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved?
I don't know.
Easy takedowns.
Continuing to find success with his wrestling.
In the opening stages of the second round, Suleymanov, however, the blogger and social media influencer,
a little influence, was confronted by another female in the cage who appeared to be in
the corner of Pushkin, who pulled Suleymanov, the little midget, from guard and lashed out at him
before the official managed to corral her. Another girl jumped in. Look, God, I've had this fantasy
many times, minus the midget. Over the course of the last numerous months, the promotion has
received widespread criticism and notoriety.
I love it.
It's very American and silly-like.
Russia's losing this shit.
And notoriety for fielding intergender mixed martial art bouts and other freak show fights, including multiple fights.
Don't tell me Dana fucking, Dana White's not licking his chops going, oh, I see a spinoff.
Featuring two male competitors
against a sole female challenger.
So they have two guys fighting one girl.
And a notable occurrence of a grandfather fighting alongside his grandson against a
sole female opponent.
This is getting like porn categories, you know, adult, grampy and grandson, fucking
double team, fucking half sister.
How about the Polacks?
They have a better take.
Polish MMA.
It's a joke in the SM right now.
Polish MMA promotion war also managed to get in on the recent influx of freak show
intergender and just playing bizarre fights with a five on five team matchup they didn't realize the polish uh guys who set up the fights
that you could do it one fight at a time somebody explained what are you doing it's getting crowded
uh which included a slew of brutally uh late stoppages as three referees attempted to officiate
there's three refs in there to offic officiate the... How do you judge these?
With one fighter in particular taking significant punishment from at least
two fighters on the opposite team.
Despite being unconscious
for some time.
You Polish, I'll tell you.
You got knocked the fuck out, man!
Do you remember...
Now you're probably too young, goddammit,
Dallas. Do you remember a guy, a fighter named Ivan Putski?
The name.
Yeah.
He was the Russian, what was his Russian power or something?
He had legs.
That's what I call my buddy Mike Zizinski, Polish.
He was a fullback.
We called him Ivan Putski.
Fucking guy.
Are you talking about built like a bowling ball?
You know, his fucking, he had NFL legs, like NFL lineman legs on. Fucking guy. Are you talking about built like a bowling ball? You know, he's fucking, he had
NFL legs, like NFL lineman
legs on a normal guy.
Real, real, really tough Polish
fella. I don't want to say Polak. That's offensive.
Anyways.
Here comes
the bright... Rubbed the wrong way
the headline.
Deshaun Watson.
Get this, folks.
I don't know.
I'm trying to, I want to believe them, but I can't.
Used at least 66, I'll repeat that,
66 female massage therapists over a year and a half period
between the fall of 2019 and spring of 2021. I wonder what the percentage of
happy endings were in there. When I say happy endings, I mean the massage lady leaving without
crying. A bombshell report from the New York Times. 56? It's just so ridiculous. I don't think he had
that many yards, did he, the last two years? Watson has been sued by 24 massage therapists for alleged sexual misconduct.
Raping me.
This is rape.
This is rape.
This is rape.
In addition, women sued but withdrew her suit.
Two more therapists made criminal accusations but did not sue. Fifteen defended
Watson with statements of support. Oh, God, you women hate each other. It's so beautiful.
At least four worked with a genuine touch. That's the massage parlor I go to. Genuine Touch. I don't like the other players. They used to go insincere fingers.
The massage firm
hired, they hired
Genuine Touch, the Houston Texans.
That's the
company they hired for it.
So they had a blame too. Plaintiffs,
lawyers have identified five additional
women during the investigation
process and the Times.
Jenny Rentis confirmed 15 more women through interviews and record reviews.
Two grand juries in Texas declined to press criminal charges against Watson.
Most of them were wearing Texan shirts.
In connection with the myriad of allegations,
Watson and his attorneys have repeatedly denied
that any sexual activity with massage therapists
was non-consensual.
I don't know.
Counselor!
I don't.
Who knows?
Counselor!
All that I know, and I'm not putting this,
I'm not putting aside what the vile shit he might have or might not have been done,
but I'm just saying, this guy's hard to tackle.
He's a great fucking football player.
Nick, one second.
I'm just saying.
But I don't know.
You know these NFL guys.
It doesn't help their reputations.
But how about the 15 women that are defending him?
They're all living in his house right now, laying by the pool.
On Monday, a 24th woman filed a lawsuit against Watson, accusing him,
oh, for the love of my sister, I can't put this on this show,
of ejaculating on her during a massage.
Oh, it's semen. It's not lava. Like the next guy we're going to talk about.
While he has not been criminally charged, the 26-year-old Watson, who was traded
from the Texans to the Browns. How about the Browns? I don't give a fuck if he's raped 100
women. We got to get rid of Mayfield.
I heard OJ's getting back in shape.
Call him.
For the Browns.
And he signed, get this, folks.
With all this swirling around, it gives you an idea how bad the Browns need a winning season.
Signed him to a fully guaranteed five-year, again, such a racist country, $230 million contract.
Five goes into 23,
four,
that's
$46 million, I think,
a year. Am I doing the math
right?
$46 million.
There you go.
He faces
potential discipline
under the NFL's personal conduct policy. You don't say.
One massage therapist who did not sue Watson spoke to the Times about a previously unpublicized
experience. The woman said he, there he is, he initiated sexual contact in all three of their appointments this woman who spoke
on condition of anonymity to protect their privacy said she began by working on watson's back
but when he flipped over he looked like a tall ship no she said his demeanor and voice changed
your mother sucks cocks in hell and he he began aggressively dictating, this is what I do, and I'm getting physical with my doctor, Dr. Schultz,
big guy, really, right, where he wanted her to touch him.
You can't do that.
In the first session, she said he got into the happy baby, when I heard this, I almost fell off the couch,
happy baby yoga pose.
Let me tell you something. When my wife's in that position, the last thing is I call her
a happy baby. She looks pissed. And his feet, with his feet in his hand, that's the happy baby
pose. And asked her to massage between his testicles and anus. That is known as a perineum slash taint.
Oh my, look at the happy baby.
Oh, guppa, guppa, guppa go.
She laughed off the request but said,
he grabbed her wrist and put her hand there.
Hey, who hasn't done that?
I did that at the movies in high school.
I said, touch my taint.
The woman said, Watson twice initiated sexual intercourse,
once by pulling down, I'm getting hard reading this,
pulling down the scrubs she was wearing.
Why are you wearing scrubs?
You're not a fucking, you're not a mass unit doctor.
She and Watson knew each other from around town
and were on friendly terms.
And she admitted she let him proceed with these sexual acts.
I just didn't know how to tell him no, she said.
Well, whose fault is that?
And again, Deshaun, when asked about it, said, yes, sir.
No, it's not what he said.
I did not have sexual relations
with that woman. I'm sorry. That was his lawyer, Bill Clinton. Per the New York Times, a member
of the Texans organization provided Watson with a NDA form. Folks, that's not a DNA form. Don't
confuse. NDA, if you guys aren't in show business like myself nice music uh non-disclosure agreement uh form to give massage therapists the franchise said
in a statement the team first learned of sexual misconduct allegations first of all the who
the Texans gave him that to give to did I read that right isn't that kind of implying that he's a problem uh misconduct allegations against the quarterback in march of 2021 the texans also said they have
cooperated with the investigators and will continue to do so in a deposition watson was asked about a
post-massage text message he sent to ashley solis an accuser who later spoke to hbo's real sports
about her experience so So his text apologized that
she was uncomfortable and the reason why. And then he says, Watson says, I don't know,
Watson said, like I told you at the beginning of this deposition, I'm still trying to figure out
why we in this, don't we, why we in the situation we are in right now why i'm talking to you guys why you guys are
interviewing me i don't know do not know he says of course he says all that he will yeah come on
he sure do.
Let's go from a superstar athlete to another entertainer who,
well, I'd say he's the rap slash hillbilly rock version of me.
I really believe that.
I think if this guy ever saw this show,
he would fucking invite me to his house.
Me and him and Ted Nugent would go out shooting squirrels.
Kid Rock Rails, multiple platinum artists.
I always liked Kid Rock.
A little bit of a wacko, which I love.
Come on.
Something about Michigan guys.
They don't give a fuck.
They still have the, you know,
rugged individuals. Multiple
planet modders. Kid Rock refuses to
apologize for a drunken rant.
This happened a while ago, but why it's
relevant now is because he's got a new album
out. Tucker Carlson followed him around
like, I guess, on tour for a week.
Apologize for
a drunken rant in which he attacked Oprah Winfrey and Joy Behar by name at his honky-tonk in downtown Nashville.
That was a while ago.
A drunk...
It's a great quote.
Is this his quote?
Have you ever heard this, Dallas?
A drunk man's...
This is Kid Rock talking.
A drunk man's words when is Kid Rock talking. A drunk man's words,
when he's asked if he apologizes or not,
a drunk man's words,
he was drunk when he said this,
are a sober man's thoughts.
I own what I said, he told Tucker Carlson
in an interview featured in Life of a Rockstar,
the latest episode of Tucker Carlson Originals
on Fox Nation.
In 2019, TMZ released footage of Kid Rock on stage repeatedly saying,
fuck Oprah Winfrey, fuck Joy Behar, which I started saying, I think,
my second year in comedy, literally 1988.
I was the only one that had the balls to go after Oprah, that fat fucking pig
who pretends to like white housewives.
And anyways, and fuck Joy Behar which everybody says and nobody wants to do I don't apologize to
anybody kid says I'm not an Oprah Winfrey fan he said when pressed about
the rant I got drunk he says and fucking next thing I'm on stage saying fuck
Oprah kid this may be laugh Kid Rock you can tell he was drunk Kid Rock also I got drunk, he says, and fucking next thing I'm on stage saying, fuck Oprah.
This made me laugh.
Kid Rock, you can tell he was drunk.
Kid Rock also attacked Kathie Lee Gifford by naming her during the rant.
He says, I was trying to go after Kathie Griffith, you know, for holding up Trump's head,
but I'm so out of it, I'm like, fuck Kathie Lee Gifford. He said, oh, no.
Oh, no.
He says, when it comes back on TMZ or whatever,
a few weeks later, I'm like, oh, man,
I like Kathie Lee Gifford.
We've been kind of friendly throughout the years.
Here's a cut off his new album.
It's the hit single.
I just took a little bit of it. I don't know if this is going to get flagged if I put it up.
I'm promoting his album, for Christ's sake. How does that work? You a little bit of I don't this is gonna get flagged if I put it up I'm promoting his album for Christ how does that work you know right I don't know I like the song a little bit What the fuck's up with all the backlash? You snowflakes, here's a news flash
Ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live
Years ago we all thought it was a joke, see?
That every kid got a motherfuckin' trophy
But yo, homie, here's the situation
A nation of pussies is our next generation
And these minions and their agendas
Every opinion has a millennial offended
But this amendment won, it rings true
And if you don't dissent, bitch, this scene number two
Ain't nothing new, right church, wrong pew
Get a clue, accrue your fake news and views
Can't all get the bottom of my motherfuckin' shoe I'm the last of a few, still screamin' fuck You get a clue through your fake news and
Scream it fuck you You go, Bob.
I think that's his real name.
Right?
It is.
It's Bob.
Remember he did a thing with,
which I really made him and Sean Penn,
like five years ago, sat at a bar.
It was scripted and shit.
They were attacking each other.
You know, he's like, you redneck, stupid hillbilly fucking.
He's like, yeah, you liberal cocksucker.
It was great.
Google it, man.
It's fucking really funny.
Anyways, the drunken rant was very much in character for Kid Rock,
who spent most of COVID-19 pandemic working on his recently released album,
Bad Reputation.
Lyrics from the album include lines like,
I'm the last of a few still screaming fuck you.
In one track, he attacks Facebook, Twitter, TMZ, CNN.
I'm telling you, he's doing my show in song.
Anthony Fauci by name and lets loose on social media trolls.
So good for him, good for everybody.
How do my fucking things disappear on me?
I don't know.
On tour, his concerts feature a video montage of middle fingers pointing at Brian Stelter
and Joy Behar.
Y'all fat fuck, look at you.
Oh, here we go.
Real quick.
So, why haven't you been canceled?
Like, people aren't allowed to say what they think you
are i am uncancellable why's that because i don't give a and i'm not in bed with any big corporate
things at the end of the day there's nobody i'm beholden to no record companies no corporate
interests no nothing and you can't cancel me sound familiar only difference is he's got a couple
million he's got a couple million.
He's got 30, 40 million in the bank.
I'm going, how am I going to pay for that pizza oven?
Can't get with two fix.
Can't afford it.
Anyhow, that's it for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Again, thank you so much for tuning in.
It's been a pleasure.
Don't forget to sign up. And I repeat, comicsgym.com. The comicsgym.com the comicsgym.com comicsgym.com patreon.com sign
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welcome we'll see you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow take care everybody Take care, everybody. guitar solo Thanks for watching!