The Nick DiPaolo Show - Lori Lightfoot: black, gay, RACIST | Nick Di Paolo Show #543

Episode Date: May 20, 2021

Reverse the races. Pelosi is literally insane. Vice President: another liberal full of bs.

Hey guys, I want to thank you so much for supporting this show. Free speech will always reign here, and it's only possible because of you guys. After all the problems with YouTube and the social media shadow banning and shit, not only are we still here, we are expanding. By the end of May, and this is for certain, we will have this show finally on Roku, We will have this show finally on Roku, Apple TV, Amazon Fire, Android TV, and even an app for your iPhone or Android mobile device. That's right. Finally.

Yeah, fuck you, big tech. Who needs you? Not going to stop us. And again, I'd like to ask you guys to continue to keep those contributions coming. You're the reason for all this great stuff because it costs money to contribute. Just look for the, uh, contribute box on the comics, gym.com, or you can go to nickdip.com and click on the contact page. Again, thank you guys so much. guitar solo Hi! Welcome to the show! Very good show today. Today we have both John Davidson and Burt Convey's skeleton, and Jennifer Aniston's hairdresser. Davidson and Burt Convey's skeleton,

and Jennifer Aniston's hairdresser. How you doing, folks? It's Thursday. I'm in a good mood. You know what that means? When this is over, I'll go home, have more coffee, pretend I'm going to work out, and fall asleep in my sweats. I take naps now like Biden. It's fucking frightening.

I'm not going to make fun of him anymore. He's got fucking 19 years on me. But then again, you know what time I went to bed last night? Five or four. So that can't, and I get up at fucking quarter to nine. And I wonder, I feel like shit. I really should try Coke again. I heard it really.

Yeah, do that. Colin Quinn, I go, what are you doing with the money? He goes, well, at first I do my ten deep knee bends. Hey, Paul Lynn, what are you going to say, big fat? What is it that writes and having writ moves on? A meter maid. How many men on a hockey team? About half. How many men on a hockey team?

About half. All right. Enough delaying. There are white niggers. I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time. In our RTR reverse the races segment, I could actually do this on every other story for the next 50 years if I was still alive. But Lori Lightfoot, we call her Beetlejuice here. She is just a racist cunt lapper and black on top of it.

Three strikes and you're out. Nick, are you saying cunt lapping is wrong? No, actually. All right, two strikes. But I just, Look at her. Look at it. Who voted for her other than George Soros' money? Who? Who better

to see life the way the average American does than a fucking hateful black lesbian, right? Because she sees the world the way we do, right? Seriously. It fucking blows my... I don't believe anybody elected this bitch. You know what's great, though? The longer they're in

power, and not just her, the DA in Chicago, the DA in St. Louis, all black women that Soros poured money into their camp, but you know what? It's showing who the true racists are. They're showing their true colors. Who the hateful fucks are. They project. They've been telling

us white people, we're the fucking hateful racist devils. Now that they're in high profile jobs, we're seeing what the truth is. Not all of them, mind you. You got Tim Scott and a few others who are labeled Uncle Toms or whatever the fuck, who have their heads screwed on straight. But this bitch, I have

no use for her. And look at the city of Chicago. Look at it. They had a guy on TV yesterday. He goes bitch, I have no use for her. And look at the city of Chicago. Look at it. They had a guy on TV yesterday. He goes, while I've been on the air, he was off for two minutes, he goes, two people have been shot in my district. Hell of a mayor. But let's give her a chance, you know.

Lori Lightfoot catching heat for prioritizing non-white reporters. Well, that's putting it politely. Oh, God, I want to fucking snap her little pencil neck into three pieces. I smell clams! Ugh. So, yeah, she chose, she's choosing just to give one-on-one interviews with black and brown

journalists not white ones can you fucking imagine can you imagine another white mayor saying that and I wish they would it would feel so good even though it'd be racist I believe fighting fire with fire and that's what they think they're doing because of the racist past. You know, hurting, she's hurting white journalists who had nothing to do with it. You know, it's just fucking,

all right, let's play some fucking bitch. Now, this is just a stunning story. Democratic Chicago mayor Lori Lightfoot, she's catching heat for apparently deciding to only grant interviews to black or brown journalists. Several local Chicago reporters are raising the issue. And now Mayor Lightfoot herself is stating in a series of tweets, quote, it's a shame that in 2021, the city hall press corps is overwhelmingly white. Pause. It's a shame. It's a shame.

It's a shame. It's a shame the press corps is overwhelmingly white. You know, it's a shame the NBA is overwhelmingly black. It's a shame that, I don't know, murder statistics are overwhelmingly done by black. It's a shame that most shitty neighborhoods are overwhelmingly black people. Just say it. Where's the white politician that's going to say that?

Oh, that's right. We already had him for four years. Ah, fucking kidding. He didn't come close to it. Touch the candle. Touch that flame. Okay, let the fucking he-she say what it wants. More than half of the city identifies as black, Latino, AAPI or Native American.

Diversity and inclusion is imperative across all institutions, including media. In order to progress, we must change. This is exactly. Think about that statement. In order to progress, we must change. She's talking about the greatest country on earth. For the last 200 and something, she just showed up five minutes ago. For the last 200 and something, she just showed up five minutes ago. And she want, we need to change it. Because 14% of the population who can't get their shit together, we have to change. Eat a dick and die, and that made no sense saying that to you.

Go ahead. Why I'm being intentional about prioritizing media requests. I like how they word it nicely. Let me tell you something. We got some more audio right here. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady, but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and dabble like a hog. She's a malignant cunt.

I already said that. Lightfoot defended her controversial announcement to only give individual interviews to journalists of color and blasted Chicago media institutions for their overwhelming whiteness and maleness. Wow, are you an angry dyke. You want a cock. Not in you, on you. So just sew it on. Get it over with. Fucking asswipe.

Nick, that's kind of homophobic. Yeah, I know. I'll get somebody's attention eventually. The show can go national. And an extraordinary, she sent the letter on Wednesday. That's what she did saying, upon the two-year anniversary of her election, Lightfoot has drawn outrage after white journalists were told by her press office

that they couldn't interview her one-on-one because of their skin color. You ever hear of Jim Crow? This is Black Crow. Jesus Christ, am I good. Hannity, you couldn't come up with that in a thousand motherfucking years. In a two-page letter to the media, Lightfoot went, ho-dee-do-dee, ho-dee-ho-dee. The first black woman, as well as the first openly gay mayor in Chicago's history. How's that working out? Praised her own 2019 election for breaking barriers. What do you mean, breaking murder records? Kids under 10 that are shot, congratulations, beetle fuck,

and took a shot at media organizations and the city for not adequately addressing institutionalized racism in their ranks. Her decision to temporarily only speak to black and brown reporters, she said, was part of a lifelong battle to fight for diversity and inclusion. Let me translate. My lifelong battle to try to pretend I like white people and men. Jack off. And looking at the absence of diversity across the City Hall press corps and other newsrooms, sadly it does not appear that many of the media institutions in Chicago

have caught on and truly have not embraced this moment she wrote. She can write? I have been struck since my first day on the campaign trail back in 2018 by the overwhelming whiteness and maleness of Chicago media outlets, editorial boards, the political press corps, and yes, the city hall press corps specifically. And to that I say, Ms. Lightfoot, make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

Love that kid. Boys, he fucked up. Lightfoot reeled off the diversity of the city's leadership, including its majority black and Latina ex-city council, and called it unacceptable that reporters covering City Hall were mostly white. of the city's leadership, including its majority black and Latina ex-city council, and called it unacceptable that reporters covering City Hall were mostly white. And they responded, Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! Fuck you! She said, excuse you! Fuck you! Fuck you! She said, excuse me? I didn't hear you. Well, take the fucking snatch juice out of your ears. Many of them are smart and hardworking. Here she has to throw in the obligatory, you know, savvy and skilled.

But that's not enough with us libs. We need skin color. That's important. More important than getting a job done, she went on to say. And that's why you've never seen a country run successfully by black people. Uh, what, Lori? Oh, I'm sorry. I said that. But mostly white, nonetheless, she wrote.

She lectured the Chicago media leadership to evolve and diversify. How many times has she said this in this letter? You think you're obsessed with it? Huh? It's got nothing to do with merit and how good you are at your job. It's all this.

Just like the Klan used to think. Congratulations. You are fucking as racist as any white person who lived in 1860. For fear, this arm of our democratic system is on life support. Sort of like a lot of your constituents

after they get shot at the park. Lightfoot has taken heavy criticism for banning white reporters from speaking with her. No, she hasn't. She's still the fucking mayor today. Why isn't anybody asking her to step the fuck down and drive a city bus, which is what she should be doing?

With one Latino Chicago Tribune reporter saying he canceled his scheduled interview with her in protest. You hear that? It was a Latino who had the balls to cancel saying you can't treat white people, not a white person, just ballers. White people, you're running fucking Spanish peanuts. Lightfoot concluded the letter by challenging media outlets to hire more women of color. You think she's obsessed?

Even if they suck at their job, at their outlets, and to analyze their own coverage for examples of bias. If an outlet only had a white reporter covering City Hall, she suggested, make sure there's a person of color working with him as well. That's racist to the person of color. Why, to babysit him? I'm sick of the NBA being all black. I want nothing but whites and Koreans under 5'4".

It would be way more interesting. Lori Lightfoot, I really hope you get very sick soon. Very sick. I mean, not COVID sick. I mean, real sick. You know, John, I hope you bite into a bad clam, if you know what I'm saying. Huh? What?

We have another reverse the races. Two of them under the headline tonight. A teenager was left lying in Manhattan Street after being beaten up over his sneakers, and a UPS driver didn't think twice before jumping in when he saw that the teen was in trouble.

I have this under reverse the races. I might be wrong, but I froze the thing on my computer, and the kid's hands looked like mine. Well, then again, I look kind of dark, so they were lighter than mine is my point, but the fact that he had a hoodie on and he was wearing Air Jordans, he probably was black, so I'm not saying this belongs in the reverse erases or not, but I've been watching it like the Sapruta film. The kid's hoodie went back and to the left, back and to the left.

And the crip came out of the grassy knoll. The violent attack in Chelsea, and by the way, Chelsea was a nice area in New York City. This is in the middle of a day, by the way, like 23rd and 7th. It used to be nice. The violent attack in Chelsea unfolded on May 14th. Video shows two people in black, two people in black, two black criminals chasing a teenager who might be white, and they throw him to the ground, punching and kicking him before taking off with his Nike Air Force Ones.

So that's where I go, you're right, probably a black victim. But nonetheless... I despise it with every fiber of my being. But the first person on the scene was not your ordinary responder. This time, a UPS driver delivered a helping hand for the victim and words for the suspects. Here is our local hero. Good for him. This violent attack in Chelsea unfolding last Friday, two people in black scene chasing a

teenager down to the ground, then punching and kicking him before taking off with his Nike Air Force Ones. But first on scene was not your ordinary responder this time a ups driver delivering a helping hand for the victim and words for the suspect would you felt better if they wanted his watch and wallet i don't understand that statement either but at least he did something about it i don't i still on the fence while if the victim was black or white because they didn't mention the victim's identity because, you know, that usually tells you he's white. Usually.

Again, we don't know. We don't know. But I'm pretty sure I know the fellas who did it. What color they were. Hey, Mr. Jordan. Excuse me. Hey, Michael Jordan, stop making sneakers, all right?

Make them for $12. Do you ever hear why he doesn't get into politics, Michael Jordan? He has a fantasy quota that says because both Republicans and Democrats buy sneakers. And I say, well, Republicans buy them, Democrats steal them. Evidence here. Another brilliant line on my part that somebody will be stealing.

Surveillance video shows McCall then using one of his packages to prop up the young man's head so that he could get better oxygen. I'd be pissed if I was waiting for that package, but anyways. You get the package, it's got blood and hair all over it. And I was like, just stay there, just stay there, we're going to call an ambulance. And I was telling everybody, somebody please call an ambulance. And

I guess some girl picked up the phone, thank God. Hello? Hello? That somebody was a young woman who happened to capture a picture showing McCall with a banana in his hand. Uh-oh, Sharpton's going to go crazy. That was given to him by another New Yorker stepping in to help the young man whose sugar was dropping. I called 911.

The woman said, it was amazing to see New Yorkers come together rather than just walk by. That's where we are now in society, that this is a one-off. This is a rarity that somebody stops to help. And it's true. He was very heroic, the UPS guy. He jumped in and handled it like it was his own kid. He was a nice-looking young man, McCall said. All right. Maybe that explains the banana. But anyways, and that was just like, yeah, he could have been dead. There was no stopping. It just looked like they just didn't have no remorse or regard for life. Could have been Obama's son. They would have finished him over some sneakers. Guy's exactly right. Thank you for jumping in to stop these fucking savages.

Who's an animal? Your mother's an animal, you son of a bitch! That's the Air Jordan sneaker. As you see what these thugs do every time they shoot or mug somebody, they put a hashtag on their heel. I joke.

What's so fucking great about that shoe? First of all, it's too white for you guys. NYPD detectives arrested both suspects the next day, a 16-year-old boy and a 17-year-old boy. Again, this is the middle of the day in Manhattan. Whose officers say are now facing charges of robbery and possession of stolen property. There you go.

So I'm not trying to, these are the top headlines. I just happen to involve Lori Lightfoot, two black guys beating the fuck out of some guy for sneakers. Let's, why stop there? You know who lunatic Letitia James is she's a dumb twat is who she is Don jr. Tweeted. She's the district attorney in New York, right? right Again, probably Soros was behind this too Don jr. Tweeted. There's nothing more corrupt than an investigation in

Desperate search of a crime if this isn't flagrant abuse of political office, I don't know what is. This is Banana Republic stuff right here. It's going on, happening in America. You are correct, sir. I didn't even show the beginning of this clip when she's with some young girl who hates Trump and the young girl's going,

are you going to go after Trump? Oh, she's like, yeah, we're going to be a real pain in the ass to him and shit. Just admitting that, oh, we're going after him. What you can't. Oh, my God. Anyways, here she is showing her hatred of Donald Trump. Why?

I'll tell you why. White alpha male billionaire. Fucking makes her cuckoo. Something she could never be, never will be. Roll tape. He built his wealth off the backs of New Yorkers. We need to focus on Donald Trump and his abuses. We need to follow his money.

We need to find out where he's laundered money. All of those transactions have happened here in New York City. Tell this president and every other individual that no one is above the law. I say the bottom line is that residents from Brooklyn who are going to really make the difference are energized. Individuals from the city are energized. Individuals who care about statewide issues are energized. Individuals who care about, again, going after Donald Trump, this illegitimate governor, president. about, again, going after Donald Trump, this illegitimate governor, president.

You fat, nasty black bitch. Can you imagine? They're going to keep going after him. New York Attorney General Letitia James. Oh, we're definitely going to sue Donald Trump. We're going to be a real pain in his ass. He's going to know my name personally like he doesn't already. He's got a picture of you in his bedroom with a knife stuck in your forehead, hopefully. And last night we learned that she has opened a criminal investigation into the Trump organization. Can you fucking imagine? Meanwhile, China and Russia and Iran are on the move. Russia and Iran are on the move and all our fucking big city mayors and politicians and district attorneys are distracted by their hatred of Donald

Trump still I've had enough In our libs eating libs segment tonight, founder of the 1619 Project denied tenure because she's a lying racist whore, I wrote. But she is being denied tenure. Nicole Hannah-Jones, another angry black female who likes to dress like a clown. Look at this ass fuck. Nicole Hannah Jones, a controversial founder of the 1619 Project, the most hateful person on the

planet, has lost her alma mater's offer for tenure and is instead under consideration for a fixed five-year contract. She's being outlawed. There's black people who say, we showed one yesterday, who say this is so racist, this 1619 project, right? Everybody agrees. Even black people say this is ridiculous, how anti-white it is and shit. And her punishment is to get a fixed five-year contract. Again, I could have done a reverse the races. Are you fucking kidding me? You won't find a more racist manifesto, if you want to call it. It's un- Oh, she lost tenure. Oh, poor you.

Susan King, Dean of the UNC Hussman School of Journalism. Looks like Gretzky in a few years. Can you imagine, do you know how off the reservation you have to be to be refused tenure when you're a black woman professor? In today's academia, do you know how far out there you have to be where they go, you're fucking nuts. And they're not even saying that. They gave her a five-year condom. Susan King, dean of UNC Hussman School of Journalism and Media, reportedly called the

decision disappointing. Ooh, don't get too fucking, don't get too upset and said she was afraid it would create a chilling effect. King said Hannah Jones represents this stupid mother. She represents the best of our alumni. Well, that says a lot for North Carolina. And the best of the business, she said. You're fucking crazy.

She's crazier than the fucking 1619, bro. She added, I don't want to get into a food fight. I don't want to make sure that our students, I want to make sure that our students have I want to make sure that our students have the opportunity to have someone of her caliber. A black racist is now being held up as somebody who, high caliber

person. Someone of high caliber here and to learn from her. Why don't you just have him join fucking Farrakhan's group he has a class i think our faculty uh do as well i think you're wrong one of the board members told the outlet that politics motivated its decision although others have alleged that political considerations have helped elevate hannah jones despite purported issues with her scholarship. You notice you haven't heard race? The word racism hasn't come up yet?

Anybody? Jay Escalon of the James G. Martin Center for Academic Renewal penned an op-ed earlier this month in which he suggested Hannah Jones' appointment represented a shift toward propaganda at Hussman. Hey, you can't say that. You're a white guy in a suit. Nobody gives a fuck what you have to say about race.

You've had everything handed to you, so shut your hole. UNC's hiring Hannah Jones, he said, signals a degradation of journalistic standards from one in which ethics and truth are prized to one in which a writer's work is judged according to whether it serves a preferred political agenda, he said. Right on the goddamn money with that one. You know, I fucking hate the way you make me fucking ride you. Get the fuck out of here. me fucking ride you. Now get the fuck out of here. He added that Hannah Jones'

work was less journalism than an outpouring of emotions. Look at, she fucking dresses like a black carrot top or some shit. The crown jewel of her career leading a rewriting of the nation's history called the 1619 Project, has been attacked and ridiculed by historians of all stripes.

That's how you know she's a lying whore. Even left-wing academics say she's way off. She says America began in 1619, number one. How do we disprove that? I'll take three seconds. By historians of all stripes and persuasions as unfactual and biased. In short, they're saying this about you. You're a liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, and you know it.

He quoted historian Sean Willens, who I quoted in high school, who once said, a man is not a man unless a man. What? He quoted Sean Willits in arguing to teach children that the American Revolution was fought in part to secure slavery would be giving a fundamental misunderstanding not only of what the American Revolution was all about, but what America stood for and has stood for since the founding.

Yet Hannah Jones' project has won Pulitzer Prize. It is time to kill liberals. I don't give a fuck if you're married to them. I don't give a fuck if you see them once a year at Thanksgiving. Kill them. Stop their fucking hearts. Thanksgiving. Kill them. Stop their fucking hearts. It has to be annihilated.

Just the way they think we have to be reeducated and our country's society should be torn down and rebuilt. I'm saying the same of liberalism. Wherever you see one, hit them with a cream pie. Get really ugly. This whore has won a Pulitzer Prize, which means I'm up next. And the author has received numerous awards.

The Angry Twat Award she took home three years in a row. However, both Hannah-Jones and her project have received criticism for claims each has made. For example, Hannah-Jones previously caught attention for saying it would be an honor, listen to this, for racially charged riots to be associated with her project. You're a cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, bone cancer, that's painful and it lasts a long time. Something's bringing that one up. Let's talk about a white crazy bitch, almost as crazy, maybe I would say even crazier than Hannah Jones. At least Hannah Jones is being honest on how hateful she is. But this fucking wicked witch of the West has been around for, what, eight decades in

Washington? This yeast infection on wheels, this leathery nippled pig face. Pelosi is literally in fucking sane, the headline reads. The House on Wednesday approved a measure, get this, creating, and I have the best reference for this. I don't even know that I want to use it on the show because Adam Carolla will steal it. One of his listeners will give it to him. Wednesday approved a measure creating a bias commission to investigate the January 6th Capitol breach. I'll say that again.

She's putting a, it says bias. It's supposed to say a bipartisan commission. That was written wrong in the article. To investigate the Capitol breach on January 6th. You know the one where only Trump supporters got hurt and a white woman died at the hands of a black Capitol cop and we still don't know his name? You know that one? It was such a horrible day in American history. Somebody's nameplate got broken. I think Dick Durbin had, I don't know,

some whiteout spilled on his desk. I mean the fucking tragedy. Listen to what she's comparing it to. I literally, this sent chills up my ball sack last night watching this. I can't believe she's being serious. Anyway, she's putting a commission to study that because again, white people

were involved. And by the way, some of those people that were arrested, do you know they're still in jail? Do you know they're still in fucking jail? This is frightening, man. So they're going to study the Capitol breach. But here's the sad part of the story. Some rhinos, those are

Republicans in name only, voting with Democrats in defiance of party leaders who warned against you. Mitch McConnell. I don't think we need a commission. You know how I stand on it. I told you that they shouldn't impeach Trump.

This is ridiculous. Anyways, so these rhinos have been warned by leaders in the Republican Party not to go along with the Dems. The bill passed 252 to 175 with 30, 35, three, five Republicans voting with Democrats. with 30, 35, 35 Republicans voting with Democrats. The measure now heads to the Senate where it's highly unlikely to pass in its current form. Listen, 35, that's the big thing in the story. 35, do not, we have to disassociate ourselves with the Republican Party, okay?

You have to. They're not a real party anymore like somebody said in a comment fucking six months ago I was reading an article he goes you don't understand you guys the Republican Party's just there to give you the perception that somebody's pushing

them back against this leftist horseshit we're dealing with they're just and I believe it I fucking believe you know who they are but he's pushing them back against this leftist horseshit we're dealing with. They're just, and I believe it. I fucking believe it. You know who they are? And if anybody steals this, I'm coming after you. Do you guys remember the Harlem Globetrotters?

Do you remember who their opponents were, the Washington generals? They were supposed to be the team they played, who traveled with them on the bus. That's who the Republicans are. That analogy, fucking Levin would pay me $1,000 for it. I scare myself sometimes. Anyways, let's listen to this fucking crazy-ass, comparing January 6th to 9-11.

You know how insulting that is to people we lost on 9-11 and everybody else? You are a fucking criminal. Go ahead, roll it. So here we are, January 6th. Look how excited. And now the middle of May

and we have a commission, a bipartisan commission, coming to the floor of the House. You may not know this because many of you were not here then, but our bill for 9-11, you know when that was, 9-11-2001. The 9-11 commission legislation was signed into law November 27th, 2002. More than 14 months later. Just a little more than four months later, we have a bill coming to the floor. Pause. Pause, pause. Get out of my room, you sick cunt.

She's bragging that her commission came together 10 months quicker. Gee, I wonder if it had anything to do with 9-11 was the biggest terrorist act on the planet where 3,000 people died as opposed to your fucking, literally a tea party that got out of hand for an hour at the Capitol where one woman was shot. Does this not boggle the mind? She's bragging that they put the commission together 10 times quicker. They're still finding bones, for Christ's sake, in Manhattan.

Oh, my God. These are our fucking leaders. She is so blinded by her partisan. I go ahead. Anything else to say? I like to see your tits still, but go ahead. A remarkable achievement and one that is very necessary. I'm especially pleased that this morning at a press event, perhaps you were participating in it. The bipartisan commission was endorsed by the 9-11 Commission co-chairs, Governor Thomas Kaine of New Jersey and Mr. Chairman Lee Hamilton,

former member of Congress. They were the co-chairs of the 9-11 Commission. In the interest of bipartisanship, we were yielded on many points which we thought would be important and were not necessarily... All right, all right, all right. I can't, I can't, I can't. Shut your fucking mouth! Shut the fuck up, you cunt!

Oh. She's comparing 9-11 to what happened on January 6th. That is, I got to tell you, even for Pelosi, that sticks out as bat shit crazy. I'm speechless. Oh, please find a lump in your armpit soon. Here are some of the rhinos.

You might want to write these down and find out where they're playing softball. What? You can't. I'm kidding. Rice. I don't even know who these people are, by the way, except for Kinzinger. You know he's a two-faced prick.

Rice. These are the last names. Newhouse. Bentz. Reed. Meher. Kinzinger. Kekko.

Dusty Johnson. Wasn't that a stripper? Fitzpatrick. Anthony Gonzalez. Herrera-Butler, Chris Jacobs, Womack, Bice, he sounds like my fans, Garbarino, Chaney, Valadeo, Chris Smith, Smith, Upton, Miller Meeks, Rodney Davis, Bacon, Eggs, and Toast. No, Bacon, Taylor, Tony Gonzalez, Simpson, Salazar, Curtis, Guest, Hill, David Joyce, McKinley, Moore, Hollingsworth, Fortenberry, Jimenez. Those are all the Republicans. Those are all the Republicans that sided with the Democrats to put this commission together, which is just fucking outrageous. It's a sign that I'm really worried.

I think we're finished. Do you guys feel that way? I think we're finished do you guys feel that way I think you know don't worry that's not in there relax man anyways let's move on, shall we? That's me at summer camp. What? In our Are You Dogs Styling Me segment tonight, Russia doesn't need nukes, I'm writing this,

to defeat us anymore, just heterosexual male soldiers who are proud of Russia. That's all it would take to beat us right now. Why do I say that? Well, I'll tell you why. This is an actual recruitment thing, right, for the military. First, we'll show you Russia's, and then you'll know when ours comes up. And you tell me what team you want to be on when this shit goes down. I can't believe how fucking woke the military is.

That's what we're worried about. As Russia and China sit and go, how do we fuck these guys up? We're going to fuck them up. Look at them. They're fighting over tits and who's going to cock and twats. Watch this. We didn't make this up. This is real. It begins in California. Here's ours. It's a little girl raised by two moms.

I also marched for equality. I like to think I've been defending freedom from an early age. Do you? To marry my other mom. Pause. She's marrying a fucking upright Christopher Reeve. Go ahead. Models, I finished high school at the top of my class.

And after meeting with an Army recruiter, I found it. A way to prove my inner strength. I'm U.S. Army Corporal Emma Malone-Lorde, and I answered my call at... Answer my call at 2 a.m. when I need a nice handjob. Ay-yi-yi. Who do you think's going to win the war with that recruitment? Comrade, here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his

commander. We intercept Dragonfly Wolf 10. Colorful names. That's their recruitment and this is ours. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Yes, it is.

Oh, my God. You know what I say about our military and our country? Turn off the lights. The party's over. They say that all good things must end. Call it a night. The party's over. And tomorrow and next year starts the same old thing again.

That's Don Meredith on Monday Night Football actually singing that. When the game is like a 48-0 blower. Those are good times. So who do you think has the better recruitment video? What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? Oh, I don't know. They were doing push-ups while we were a fucking, while half-arm snipers were getting Brazilian waxes.

I don't know. God help us. I've seen my wife try to parallel park. You gonna tell me if we're gonna win or woe with that? The calling. Is that what it was called? Or is this something else? That was the graphic you attached to the end.

Okay, I should have probably put it at the beginning. I don't know, I thought it was something else coming. Anyhow, anywhere. An other story involving women, not ones that joined the military. These are the ones that we like that don't look like John Madden in a summer dress. Well, it depends what town you're in. I went to a strip club in Sacramento, and I was on the road about 20 years ago, and I walked in, the lady on stage, about a 38-year-old Korean woman, she was about nine months pregnant.

The kid's hand was sticking out, grabbing bills off the... In this headline, take it all off, including your mask whore. The funniest show on the internet. This show should be between the History Channel and the ID Network. Strippers are back on the job, but COVID rules are hurting their pay. When California stripper, Brittany, you think there's any other strippers named Brittany? 26 walked into San Francisco's reopened Gold Club. Are there guys that like pussy in San Francisco?

That's your first problem, you stripping in San Francisco? Although there's a lot of lesbians there, so I could be wrong. San Francisco's reopened Gold Club. I used to go to that one in Atlanta. I'd always see, like, the fucking, the whole fucking, you know, Atlanta Hawks team there. Stripping venue again in April.

After a year, she was confronted with masked-up dancers wearing masks and just a clutch of her regular patrons. and just a clutch of her regular patrons. Well, baby, me so horny. Me so horny. Me love you. Hello?

Me so horny. Me love you a long time, Joel. She said her heart just sank. Then she realized it was a six-month-old fetus that was a, what? My heart just sank. This is just so, so sad. Now what's so sad is that you're shaking your ass for money. And I'm not there, said Brittany, who asked that her last name not be disclosed

to protect her six-year-old son. An hour of that four-hour shift was spent just waiting for customers, and she earned only $150, less than a third of what she usually would when she showed her pussies to fucking strangers. I feel kind of bad for her. These girls are the backbone of this country and capitalism.

Oh, boy, you. Yeah, don't make fun of my Britney. As some of the United States estimated 3,821 strip clubs. Wow. Wowie. Wow. Wow. Did I tell you I hosted the

Strip Club Awards in Vegas one year? To vote the best club. It was fucking great, man. I think they gave me what did I get, like 15 grand to do like eight minutes up front and then just hang out, bring you know, fucking introduce some people. And Ron Jeremy came backstage to see me because I

had him on my radio show, and then we turned out he's a psycho. Anyway, what's the latest on him, by the way? Anyways, 3,821 strip clubs start to open up again. Women who work as strippers are confronting a transformed industry. Revenue in the industry is estimated to have decreased 17.4% in funny money in 2020, and

is forecast to fall another 1.5% this year, according to research by Horny Guys Anonymous, by IBIS World. During the pandemic, strippers in states with strong anti-coronavirus measures migrated to ones where the laxer ones didn't have such restrictions, like Texas and Florida. By the way, that's where you should be stripping anyway. There are no ugly strippers in either one of those states. I checked it myself.

According to dancers and club owner Bob Tappeller, Bob Tappeller, the co-owner and manager of Cheetah's Gentleman Club in Sunnyvale. Sunnyvale is the town where I got fired for smoking on stage. Estimated nearly 60% of his dancers left the state to find work elsewhere. Oh, my God. Bye-bye. That is not fair. Savannah Rain.

Sounds like a weatherwoman for an NBC affiliate in Tennessee. Savannah Rain, a 23-year-old stripper, went on paid dates with Sugar Daddy clients and stripped online, this is what I did when we couldn't come in, I made $8, show my ass crack, stripped online through OnlyFans over the past year, but still ended up draining her savings. Maybe it wasn't COVID. Maybe it was because she looked just like this broad.

Oh, God, help me. Oh, God, help me. Anyway, she's beautiful. Look, she's got a nine pack. What? That's a real person, by the way. Nick, don't you feel bad? No, I don't.

Actually, this is her. We had a clip of her around Christmas time last year. Santa, you know what I want for Christmas this year? What? A big fat cock. Oh! In my ass. The poor thing. You think she's still alive?

No. I don't either. Oh, my God. You know how she has her arm bent on her hip? That looks like a handle of a tea kettle. The reopening of strip clubs means she can cover rent again. And returning, how do you not make money when you're taking clothes off on that fans-only thing? Seems like every broad that shows a tit makes six figures.

Returning to live stripping also allowed her to reconnect with part of herself, Reigns. What part would that be, Reign? Your inner child? I feel like, she says, I feel like the most whole version of myself when I'm in the club, Rain said, whose stage name, that's not her stage name? Savannah Rain is not her stage name, her stage name is Sage. Oh my God. She says, it's a safe space for me all these poor girls have been brainwashed to express my

femininity and my sexuality and to have 200 bills stuffed to my a-hole is what she's really saying hey guess what this is breaking news right here you don't hear this much another politician is lying. This time it's the first female vice president. And guess what? She's full of cacapupu. Vice President Kamala Harris keeps assets in a tax-advantaged family trust. This is the woman who tells you that we can't do enough for other people and quit being stingy and help the people that are pouring in here because, you know, they're refugees running away from violence and crime. Reaching your wallet, you fucking white American stingy. Anyways, yeah, she tax advantage family trust.

A move that appears to violate an ethics pledge she and President Biden made on the campaign trail. So their secret is out. Never tell anybody outside the family what you're thinking again. According to Harris' financial disclosure form released Monday, she has been a trustee of the KDH slash DCE family trust since 2017. The trust's assets are not reportable, according to the filing, effectively obscuring some of the vice president's holdings from public view. You know, all the shit she accused Trump of doing, and they're accusing him of doing. She was just being a smart business person.

The difference being, she's out there shooting her mouth off, saying how much we have to help people. And how big her fucking heart is. And how Trump and the top 1% only give their friends tax breaks when they really create zillions of jobs. And this whore is doing everything she can to hold on to what she makes. The trust is inconsistent with Biden and Harris' campaign plan to crack down on such vehicles. Once in office, remember they made that? They made that pledge.

Biden and Harris pledged to work with Congress to eliminate the trust loophole in existing financial disclosure law. And Biden said he would require that any member of his administration who is a beneficiary of a discretionary trust like the one she is, disclose it, all of it, disclose all their holdings. That's what he said.

Another fucking lie. Yeah. You're lying. And you're a piece of shit. It's unclear why Harris does not have to adhere to the pledge and report the assets held in trust. The vice president's office did not respond to a request for comments. Well, they did respond.

They got this. While Harris obscures holdings within the trust, some of its assets can be gleaned from public sources from areas in which the vice president has lived. Harris also released tax documents. She's got a bunch of houses everywhere, and that's what you do when you have houses in different states. Apparently, a family trust is a way to fucking, like a tax shelter. Harris also released tax documents earlier this week, which show that the pair reported an unjusted gross income of one,

almost 1.7 million. While President Joe Biden and First Lady Joe Biden reported they made $2,100. No, adjustable gross of $607,336. And you know, that's a lie. That doesn't even count the shit coming in from China. His son's operation in China, his cocaine operation with Henry Hill in Pittsburgh.

Harris forms show that she and her husband had donated just 1.6% of their income to charity last year, a level that is below the average for the level of the income that there is. That's it? That's a little stingy, young lady. Boy, huh? Once again, do as I say, not as I do. I am tired of these people already.

Finally tonight on Face the Dirty Nation in your underpants. Joe and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of F-bombs. What? This one made me laugh. It made me kind of like Jill Biden. Jill Biden, there's a book out right now, said Kamala Harris should go fuck herself after famously questioning her husband's record on race

during a Democratic primary debate, according to a new report and a book. The future first lady, oh, by the way, Obama's in this book, calling Trump a sexist, racist motherfucker. They're such horrible people. Time for a war. The future first lady fumed to supporters after Harris,

who is now President Biden's vice president, slammed his record opposing federally mandated interracial busing to desegregate schools. Do you guys remember during the debates? And we thought, by the way, I got to remind you this, too. Do you know Kamala Harris came in like dead last in these debates and shit? She got like 1%. Do you understand?

She was a fucking absolute failure. And now she's the vice president in a such sexist, she's now the first black vice president in such a sexist, racist country. She bombed on national TV. She's a fucking lightweight. But this was the moment, remember, and now they're best friends,

but she went after Biden about busing, which I know about in the 70s was going on in Boston. I didn't live in the city, but I watched news every night. Saw very angry Irish kids and their mothers throwing rocks at these buses. It's kind of funny.

Let's listen to the, this is from the debates when she went after Biden. I'm going to now direct this at Vice President Biden. Yummy, yummy. I do not believe you are a racist. Pause. That's where Biden, I would have voted for him to turn around and said,

I don't give a fuck if you do or you don't. If he actually said that. I don't give a fuck if you do or you don't. You know what? I don't believe you're a racist and a whore. I've been hearing that all over Washington. That's how you debate. Do you know how many people would hit the button?

I would even have voted for him. Mick, you can't. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you can. Go ahead. I agree with you. I don't care. You commit yourself to the importance of finding common ground.

But I also believe, and it's personal. Look at Bernie in the middle. It was hurtful. Oh, was it hurtful? Who gives a fuck what you think? It was hurtful. I was that little girl blowing kids in the back of the bus for a ham sandwich. Now, how do you feel, Stumpy? Anyways, that was the attack. That little girl was me, Harris told Biden, in one of the most cutting moments of the Democrat primary. Jill Biden vented one week later on a group phone call

with supporters, according to an account published by Politico. This is Jill, what she said, quote, with what he cares about, what he fights for, for what he's committed to, you get up there and call him a racist without basis? Go fuck yourself, Joe Biden, allegedly said. That's a good wife. Joe Biden also was furious about the attack. While still on stage during the debate, Biden allegedly turned to fellow homo candidate Pete Buttigieg and said of Harris' attack, that was some fucking bullshit. What's he, a black rapper?

Oh, my God. Dead man walking. Buttigieg is currently Biden's transportation secretary. Wow, that's a big job. Gets to pick up guys on the subway. Biden and Harris worked closely together since taking office in January. Biden has referred to himself as a transitional president. You got that right. You get about two weeks left, you chink. What? Chinese? All right, that made no sense. As a transitional president, and the administration

has taken pains to brand initiatives as the work of the biden harris administration oh that's so that's so regal of you joe oh that dirty cogsucker all right that is it for the week ladies and gentlemen i'll tell you i have had a ball i haven't had this much fun since i had a skin graft in fourth grade after catching my pajamas on fire. I want to remind you of thecomicsgym.com where you can get the show free or sign up monthly. You can also do that at patreon.com. Don't forget nickdip.com. It's always on there too.

And we're going to be on a lot of other things that I don't have in front of me at the end of this month, which is coming up quick. Remember I mentioned a couple weeks ago some of those platforms? I can't remember. Matt probably does, but I can't. So don't forget that. Cameo.com. If you want me to roast one of your friends or relatives, go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person. I'll make a video on my phone, send it to them for a small fee. All right? I think that's it, right?

That is it for the week. Again, thank you guys for keeping us alive. You think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We will see you back here on Monday. Have a great weekend. guitar solo guitar solo We'll see you next time.