The Nick DiPaolo Show - Maddow's Misery Meets Maximum #143

Episode Date: March 27, 2019

MSNBC Ratings Tank after Muller Flop. Tlaib hypocrite on hatred. Police Officer Experiments with new Sandwich Topping.

🎵 you hey welcome to the show how are you folks on a dirty wednesday how you doing all right a dirty Wednesday. How you doing, aight? I'm doing just fine myself. Let's get right to it, shall we? Nick DiPaolo in trouble again with Instagram slash Twitter. I had a post deleted from Instagram. Put it up there. Your post has been deleted. How dare they? We removed your post because it doesn't follow our faggy community guidelines on harassment or bullying. Again, any time adults bring bullying into the argument against another adult makes me sick to my stomach.

It's a sign of what a soft dog shit cunt you have turned into. If you violate our guidelines again, your account may be restricted or disabled. Oh, is that right? Well, how about this? Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck you!

Fuck you! I think you get the idea. Anyways, I did an Instagram. Put up the real pic of stupid. There he is. Doesn't he just look dense? This guy is the, he was on more than anybody. At least he came on Fox News Channel a lot.

Tucker would make an asshole of him every day. Had him on like a heavy bag and would just, and he has hard evidence that Trump colluded and he isn't backing down. Just a dense, I really question our political system when guys like this get bought. Anyways, I put up an Instagram picture of him and I said, no collusion, no obstruction,

resign now. And then hashtag, I think this is where I might've been wrong, hashtag line hashtag line cocksucker uh i guess in the community um that's not allowed what kind of what kind of people are these henry what the fuck kind of people aren't they do you know what kind of people these people so this is dope and he's still out there you You wouldn't even know the Mueller report came out if you watched this shitbag. Oh, my God. I look at him.

He doesn't make me as angry as Schiff, but it's goddamn close. I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. So they took it down, and I've been warned. And I put up a bunch of shit. I tweeted one night a few nights ago. Right after the decision came down, I tweeted Pelosi, I, Wolf Blitzer, I said, put a gun in your mouth. Uh, who the fuck else? Just name any of those blowhards. Um, Acosta, I don't know. I put a bunch of, I tweets out, hang yourself, shoot yourself in

front of your kids, blah, blah, blah, all kinds of nice shit. And, you know, isn't Instagram and Twitter the same? I mean, they're the same. They're owned by the same people. But I'm just saying I tweeted most of them. And then, you know, even my followers are like, you better take those down. You can't tell somebody you can't encourage them to commit suicide. And I'm like, OK, but this isn't this isn't a distraught teenager in his car in the garage, you know, and his girlfriend telling him, go ahead, finish the job, asshole. This is a fucking elected grown man, congressman, and me calling him a lion cock sucker. I didn't even tell him to kill himself.

I was nice to him. I said, resign, fuckface, without even the fuckface in there. But we have community guys. Oh, I'm sure nobody has said horrible shit about Trump or about anybody. Steve Bannon, I'm sure. And I'm sure they were flagged immediately. Bullshit. I could have looked that up, but I don't want to.

That would take work. I'm a comedian. I didn't get into this fucking business to work. I'm bullying a congressman. I'm bullying a grown man. It's harassment. Wah. Meanwhile, over in the Middle East, like I said, they're training their kids to cut the heads off infidels.

But I said, resign, cocksucker. Lion cocksucker. Which fits for about 19 people. Jesse Smellit. It's the most accurate description of Jesse Smellit. I mean, Jesse Smell It. It's the most accurate description of Jesse Smell It. And anyway, so yeah, I, you know, so I have to be nice from now on.

And what fun is that? I think Facebook owns Instagram. You are correct, sir. You are correct, sir. Everybody kept telling me that. No, it was actually Jared. What the fuck's the guy's name? He's in Patreon all the time.

Ron? What is it? Is it Ron? Yeah, it might be Ron, Abel. Somebody, one of the regulars of Patreon said, I don't know. He kept saying they were like one and the same. So, I don't know. Anyhow, I'll keep posting it.

I keep it edgy and whatnot. I really don't give a shit. I really don't. There were some good ones, though. I had about eight pictures I posted in a row. And again, thank you, Joe Rogan, because my Twitter is working the way it's supposed to be. I actually wake up.

After I put all those out there, though, my numbers went down. After I put all those tweets out saying, kill yourself, lying motherless fucks, my followers' numbers dropped. Soon as I took them down, the next day they went right to where they were. Call me paranoid. I don't smoke weed, I'm not black, but I am paranoid. Anyways, what do we got here?

Let's get on to the goddamn, this isn't a very big story, but after hearing so much about Jesse Smollett and what a tough, you know, it's just, it's a tough road to hoe when you're a gay black man in this country. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Florida man slugs public defender during court hearing. I was guessing it was my buddy Bobby Jewell who runs the fucking Tampa club. Side splitters. Bobby, I hope you're watching. Probably not. A man accused of attacking a worker

at a mental hospital in Florida slugged the lawyer in the head during a court appearance on Wednesday. Let's take a look. Let's go to the videotape. La, la, la, la. La, la, la, la. Why you white bitch?

Oop. Nice. Look at all the other criminals that uh yeah did you see the woman there the security woman do you see her try to get in there a lot of help like uh uh that guy is willie green got out of his seat the broward county bond court approached assistant uh public defender jul Chase, who was looking down at her papers. What better time to punch a woman and deliver the haymaker. That was a haymaker threw it like a big bitch. Jesse Smollett has a better left hand than that. And deliver the

haymaker, which knocked her to the floor. The sudden attack left everyone in the room in shock, including a bunch of the defendants. What happened, Judge Jackie Powell? Hey, let me ask you a question. Have we finally caught up in the real world? Every judge I see now is a black woman, not just the ones on TV doing those fake court shows. That used to be the case all the time. But it looks like on TV and in movies, it's always a woman black. But it looks like it's the reality of the world.

And I'll say it again. Yeah, they're not biased. They don't have a chip on the shoulder about anything. Unbelievable. Nikki is saying this shouldn't be. I don't know. What if I did? Are you with me, Mr. President?

Don't just sit there. Say something. What happened? Jackie Powell said, asking, looking up her uh cell phone as she was uh texting aisha about a haircut oh for the love of christ the judge looked up during the commotion as she prepared to set bond in an unrelated case of a woman who was arrested on stalking and assault charges uh powell called a recess in the broward jail courtroom where she sets bonds and releases conditions. Not here evidence would try the cases. According to court records, Green, 27,

was a cornerback for the Steelers in 2014. No. Was arrested Tuesday on a battery charge. He was accused of attacking a worker at where? A fucking mental hospital where I worked. When I came home from college at the University of Maine, I worked at Danvers State Mental Institution. Yes, so I've seen some of this shit. I got attacked by a guy. Pinned me against lockers. We went into a building to move some furniture,

and this guy pinned me by my throat. I'm in college now. And had me by the throat and said i owed him 500 dollars uh anyways chase was taken to broward health medical center uh i'm doing okay she said uh she told she as she left the hospital the attack was a bit of a shock yeah that's what a sucker punch is i'll tell you about it in a few seconds. She says, I didn't expect it. Yeah, you're not supposed to. But can I help you out, Miss Chase? Because you seem like a typical

white woman with book smarts but no street fucking. When you're in there, seriously, and you got like 19 defendants, 1900 defendants sitting behind you in their jumpsuits of all different colors. Keep your fucking head on a swivel. Yeah, but I was looking down at my,

I don't give a shit. My wife's the same way. I walk in, she'll be washing the dishes. I'll come in the front door, she won't even hear me. I'll sneak up on her, and I'll just slap her. No, I won't.

I'll just fucking go, boo, and she'll come a foot off the ground. And I go, how to be aware of your surroundings. Jesus H. Nick, are you blaming her? No, but I'm just saying. He, Mr. Green, seemed to be in a clear psychotic state. No, he didn't actually.

It seems like the state that most criminals are in. And he was arrested for battering, listen to this, a hospital technician, attacking him from the back. That's why he was there in the first place. You're crazy. I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. him from the back. That's why he was there in the first place. He questioned why Green was removed from a facility that could treat any mental condition that he might have. That was Gordon Weeks, executive chief assistant of Broward County. And he says there was a big push to have officers trained to deal with the crises. Yeah, I could tell. By the way, that first fat broad, that little tick-like broad with the windbreak rod,

I could tell the way she took him down. Trying to identify folks with mental health illnesses. If that's the case, she should be at AOC's house tonight. Trying to make better decisions about who they were going to arrest. And it seems like going into a hospital to arrest someone who was acting out in a psychotic state, which they did with this guy, consistent with his psychosis, only seems to transfer the issue to the jail. For our attorney to take the brunt of the failures of law enforcement is unacceptable. Yeah, well, I can sort of relate, you know, only it worked the opposite for me when I

was at that comedy club and got sucker punched by that little fucking cretin and was set up by her dad. I'm not done with that, by the way, if you're wondering, especially since I know a very powerful lawyer now. But anyways, that night she was, I guess she was technically arrested, but they took her to a, they took her to a, you know, a mental facility or whatever. Not the fucking jail. I like to know the percentage of people, even at a county jail, let's say on a Tuesday night, that are mentally ill. It's got to be up there.

We're a mentally ill society, folks. And we're the only sane society left on the planet. That ought to send shivers up your ass. So, you know, he smacked her right in the face. And how much longer do we have to pretend that we're all the same? That's all I'm saying. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind. Oh, Willie Green's mind, yes. MSNBC's Trump Russia ratings fizzle. Put up a picture of mad cow disease, could you please? And there she is.

Again, that looks like me when I got my SAT scores. That's the haircut. That's the... Rachel Maddow found huge rating success covering Trump and Russia. So what now? But could the very strategy that helped propel her to the top of the ratings now be in jeopardy? The battle is far from over. She's a good-looking broad, isn't she?

But her ratings are just crumbling now that this is a... Listen. Oh. She hit the bottom of the fucking basket. The battle is far from over. According to this jerk off who wrote this on Newsweek dot com, the whole article, you could tell he's a fan of right. The battle is far from over.

Democrats especially want the entire report released. So does everybody else. Even the president said release it. With Mueller's report handed in and the charge of collusion seemingly put to bed, what now for fucking Rachel? Perhaps more of the same, this guy says. Andrew Tindall, a media observer, what a great job. I sit home and watch TV and say shit that people say all over the country in their recliners.

Only I get paid for it. Even after Mueller has ended his investigation, the appetite for aggressive scrutiny of Trump among the niche audience that tunes into Maddow, you know, the anyways, on a nightly basis will not be satiated. He's right about that because you fuckers on the left, you motherless tit wonders. I'm going to let this thing go because you have the emotional level of an eighth grader. He says, I doubt that will even diminish her ratings. Consequently, I do not expect that she will scale back her Trump coverage.

Of course she won't because that's a sign of an asshole. You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag, onking spunkkin spunk bubble i'm telling you h you keep looking at me i'm gonna put you in the fucking ground i promise you not this time not this time rach the columbia journalism review wrote a piece um well in the wake of the muller report being finished a swift backlash had ensued the columbia journalism review wrote a piece detailing much of the criticism of the media's Russia coverage from places like Fox News, the Trump family, and journalists like Matt Taibbi. But Mueller's investigation is hardly the only probe looking into Trump. He has a colonoscopy at Care Mount Medical Center up in Western. Among others, the Southern District of New York is investigating hush money payments.

Federal prosecutors are looking into his inauguration. For what? And he's being sued for defamation, which could result in him being deposed. Listen to all the shit this jerk off's bringing up in the article. It stands to reason there'll be plenty of non-Russia Trump legal battles to talk about moving forward. Well, you keep doing that. This is this guy's opinion, and she probably will, because she has to keep that hate going. Otherwise, her true talent will come out, which is nothing. And the numbers are going to crash, like a lesbian falling off a ladder while fixing the gutters. Tyndall also felt it was not right to characterize Madcow as too focused on Russia or the Mueller coverage.

Oh, really? You're not too delusional. He said that Maddow has more been focused on corruption, obstruction, and abuse of power. But are we splitting pubes now, mister? Generally speaking. And that remains to be seen if critics who say she focuses too much on that are correct or not. No, it's already in. Her numbers went right to the fucking toilet. These people, I don't, they just won't give it up. Look at I get into gestion. Five thirty eight. That's a very famous Web site in December published charts tracking the amount of coverage the Mueller probe received on MSNBC, CNN and Fox. It noted MSNBC devoted an average of 4.2% of its broadcasts to Mueller, while CNN came in at 3.1% and Fox at 1.7%. So all you assholes out there who fucking laugh about Fox and want to joke it is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They were on the right side of the argument again, only 1.7%. They have to be yanking it.

They have to be ecstatic once again. Only 1.7%. They have to be yanking it. They have to be ecstatic once again. But you won't switch. You CNN watchers and Mad Cow, you're not going to fucking switch because you think like children. You won't admit when you're wrong. You're still praying they find something when they go into his personal finances again, looking for, and they, and they may or may not find shit. I'm guessing because he's a billionaire businessman, there's got to be some skeletons there, but there's a lot of legal loopholes when you're a businessman that you can take advantage of that make you look bad, bad optics, as they say, but they're legal. But I'm sure Rachel and all her douchey friends will take it and run with it and then, you know, go on with Seth Meyers.

What is beyond doubt is that Maddow's coverage has been tenacious and relentless, he wrote. Wow, you must be a detective there, fuckface. A press contact for Maddow's show did not immediately respond to Newsweek's request for comment. I wonder why that is. The Rachel Maddow show is the network's most popular program. Has been seen, has seen its ratings rise in the Trump era. She and Fox News show Sean Hannity now regularly duke it out to see who has the best ratings in the business. Ha ha ha!

An Irishman versus a lesbian. Fight, fight, fight! Her influence has only grown. Focus, fight, fight. Her influence has only grown. Focus, Ryan, focus. Politico reported in January that her stellar ratings had many in Democratic circles considering her a kingmaker

for 2020 candidates. Really, she's getting beat out by the Food Network. A fucking rerun of Chopped knocked her off the block. There's reason to think that influence won't diminish anytime soon, as well as still the current investigations looking into Trump. Listen to the hope in this article from the Newsweek guy. An already ongoing fight over releasing the entire Mueller report.

Shut the fuck up. Asked if we should expect Maddow to focus on Trump. Investigations a fair bit. That focus on Trump investigations a fair bit. That's in quotes, a fair bit. Moving forward, Tyndall was clear in his response. A fair bit is an understatement, he wrote. Fixated is more like it. You know what, Rachel, this is what you need to do. You need to shut the fuck up. In the perfect world, in a real world, you'd be auditioning right now for the Weather Channel. Okay, at least you can base it on science and get something right.

You're wrong about everything. CNN, somebody was listing what CNN's been wronging about. The 1996 Olympic bombing attack, they pinned it on Richard Jewell, a conduit that congressman supposedly killed his mistress, Levy, Chandra Levy. They were wrong about that. They were wrong about Covington fucking high school. They're wrong about the Mueller, but they're wrong about the election. Yet they're still blaring in every fucking airport in the country.

I have a super chat for you. Yes, dear. Let her fly. Ed W. says, why don't you stop trolling us? Sorry. Why don't you stop trolling us with the picture of that ugly cunt?

I don't like that type of talk, Ed. This is a family show, you motherless fuck. I got to go in there and rip your fucking testicles up. What do you mean? It's a good looking broad right there. You never wanted to bang a utility infielder for the fucking Mariners?

Jay Ray says, in Ryan's best Richie Aprile impression, Nick, if you go crying to Tony Soprano about this, I'll put your arms where your legs are. That means nothing to about 12 people. where your legs are that means nothing to about 12 people and i can't think of uh i can't think of two people that are more different on the planet than richie aprile as ryan's richie aprile not bad right good and ryan ryan like you know ryan's a switch hitter he's a he's a fucking i love him he's out there a girl's boy doesn't give a shit. He'll chase down a cat if he likes the sweater on it. And Richie April, that quote is when he was talking to Beansy. He ran a guy over in his truck and put him in a wheelchair. And then he found out the guy

in the wheelchair was talking to Tony Soprano. He said, if you do it again, I'm going to put your arms where your legs are. And then somebody else is talking about the guy in the wheelchair. And they said, you know, he may never walk again. And somebody said, never say never. And Richie goes, no, say never. From here on in, he's a sharpened cart. He's a sharpened cart. Guys, will you watch that show?

Please, please. I'll watch it. Oh, please. Never say never. Then they asked him to build a ramp for the guy that he paralyzed to have to run it over with his car. And he said, I'll build a ramp right up to your asshole. Run a Lionel up in there. Another one?

I just went from extremist. He just donated. He didn't say anything. Okay. Rachel, anyways, I hope good luck on the ratings. Keep pushing out that fake shit about Trump. You got the Southern District coming after him. Good luck to you, honey.

Sad part is that I'm not kidding about this. If I met her, I'd probably fucking like her if we didn't talk politics. I'd probably hang out and I'd go, you got the same haircut as me. I look kind of like a gay woman from Sicily, don't I? And I would chat and shit. And then I'd bring up Trump and she'd throw a, you know, a cosmopolitan in my face. I'd get her in a headlock and knee her right in her belly. Why your belly? I don't know. That's where I go when I'm fighting with a woman. Anyways, what's going on here? Holy Jesus. Holy moly. Holy fucking moly. Officer fired for giving feces sandwich to homeless man. Wins appeal. You know, that's an expression.

He just ate a big shit sandwich. In comedy, we say that all the time. Oh, that's grossing me out. That sounds like a Metamucil dump. A big shit sandwich. When you're a comic and somebody's bombing, you go, he's eating

a shit sandwich up there. Anyways, San Antonio police officer who was fired after colleagues accused him, what fucking rats, of trying to give a homeless man a sandwich containing dog feces. Son of a, they don't want a protein in there. Has won in his appeal, but hasn't been reinstated. Show a little clip we got to make. Maybe you can get him to eat a shit sandwich. That would be fun.

An arbitrator this month overturned Matthew Luckhurst's dismissal because he wasn't punished within the required 180 days of the alleged incident. Sorry. Guilty. Just by that smile and those beady rat eyes. Sorry. Guilty. Just by that smile

and those beady rat eyes. Sorry, Matt. You are. Let me tell you something. You go into your pantry, you get a jar of Fluffinata, a jar of Skippy, and a jar of dog shit

and a loaf of bread right next to it. You are guilty, Matt. Look it. That's the face he made as the guy was biting into the shit sandwich. If I want a shit sandwich, I'll go to Subway and get the fucking meatball sandwich.

Who's with me, faggots? Officers reported that Dogfee C's incident happened on May 6th of 2016 while Luckhurst was on a bicycle patrol. The guy's talented. He's pedaling a bike, making shit sandwiches. He was notified of his indefinite suspension not until October 28, 2016.

By then, it was too late. Luckhurst challenged the May date, saying injury prevented him from riding a bicycle from April 6 to June 14. I wonder why he was injured. Probably kicked in the balls by a homeless woman he tried to feed a duck shit burger to. by a homeless woman he tried to feed a duck shit burger to. An arbitrator voided Luckhurst's dismissal, citing uncertain timing and a lack of evidence that it happened at all.

Really? Lack of evidence? Why don't you have the homeless guy burp? Blow into a breathalyzer. They have them, you know, for how much shit you've consumed. Luckhurst remains off the job while appealing an unrelated listen to this this is why i think he might be guilt an unrelated uh indefinite suspension again involving feces is this guy german after he and another officer bragged about leaving a mess in the woman's restroom this guy likes to play with doo-doo. And he's got a gun. I don't know. Look, I've left.

Since people are so confused about what bathrooms to use, I've left a mess in the fucking ladies' room. In the words of Polly Walnut, you go into a woman's shitter, the fucking toilet's so clean you could eat walnut maple ice cream out of them.

It's a funny show, fellas. I'm telling you. So these guys are cops, and they shit, made a mess in the ladies' room. How do you, what do you do? After you take the dump, you fish it out with your hands and start throwing it around?

Oh, you don't even use the toilet? Anyways, that's not going to help. But anyways, they charged him too late. And I feel bad for the homeless guy. But who knows? He might not have eaten in a long time. That's why I hate this type of reporting. Did the guy go,

Mmm, absolutely delicious. But could you cut the crust off the bread? I used to get so pissed. My mother would make me a shit sandwich and she'd leave the crust on. Oh, it's so gross. Did I tell you once when I was single,

this girl licked my asshole. The next day, she goes, I forgot my tooth. I go, use mine. She goes, gross. That's a true story. Could I make that up?

Ryan's laughing his balls off. Ryan, could I make that up? No, you couldn't. That woman is now Mrs. DeFalo. No, it's a joke, everybody. Fa-la-la-la-la? No, you couldn't. That woman is now Mrs. DeFalo. No, it's a joke, everybody. Fa-la-la-la-la. No, not my mother.

I got a chat for you. Go ahead, fellow. Freedom Moore says, Maddow should be chained in a basement and grunge-fucked as stress relief. She would never be happier. You got to slow down. Grunge-fucked as what?

Maddow should be chained in a basement and grunge-fucked as stress relief. She would a basement And grunge fucked As stress relief She would never be happy Oh as stress relief I don't even know what that means But that's sexist And that's misogynist You can't talk

By a guy That's gay sex But you know what If somebody filmed it and put it on Facebook, oh my God, that would be horrible. Hey, don't forget Cameo. Go to Cameo.com and click on my profile. What is Cameo? Well, it's a great service that Norm MacDonald is on, Jeff Ross, Hannibal Buress, Brett Favre, a bunch of people, a bunch of comics I like her on it. And you want a personal video message from me or send one to a liberal that you want to set straight. I can do anything.

I can tell your next door neighbor she's a fat fuck. I can tell your ex she's a syphilitic pig face. I can tell you tell your old boyfriend he's a needle dick and a dummy. Or I can be nice and sing happy birthday to your three-year-old. Whatever you want. I think it might be on nickdip.com still. But click on Cameo. Fill out the information. Write the message you want me to deliver. And within 48 hours, it will be delivered to whomever you want for a measly 60 bucks. And I'm dirt cheap. Most people are 100 and 150. I'm trying to be nice. I can either make or ruin somebody's day for you. I've done a whole bunch of them and it's a lot of fun. Do you understand how much fun that is for me? I'll be watching a Bruins game. I'll pause and I'll take

out my phone. Hey Bill, yeah, your sister says you're a fat bastard, you're lazy, and she hates the way you dress and then I make it really funny. I just poke myself in the eye and pretend I can see again. What else is in the news, ladies and gentlemen? Oh, Rashida Tlaib. I just hate the name. I can't believe she's part of our government. Nick, what are you, some type of homophobic? Not homophobic.

Islamophobic? Maybe. No. Rashida Tlaib posts pictures of a hateful note that was left on her office door. Durka, Durka. Muhammad Jihad. Haka Sherpa Sherpa. A bakala.

Look at that face. I wouldn't fuck her for practice. Jesus. Somebody put a hook in that mouth and pull it into a boat. Nothing, Ryan? Just dead inside, huh? Boy. Pull it into a boat.

Nothing, Ryan? Just dead inside, huh? Boy. One of the first Muslim women to serve in Congress discovered a hateful anonymous note on Tuesday that accused the freshman rep of perpetrating a jihad against the Jews. I'm guessing it was Lindsey Graham because there was some lipstick on the note. No. Lindsey Graham, because there was some lipstick on the note. Rep Rashida Tlaib, Democrat, Michigan, yuck,

shared a photo of the post-it note stuck to her door and addressed to her colleague, Rep Ilhan Omar, who recently came on the fire for making anti-Semitic remarks. Stop your disgusting Jew hatred, it said. The blue sticky note reads, Your sign says justice for all. That means Jews too. The note concludes with, Your jihad against the Jews will fail.

And then it says, Am Yisrael Chai, referring a Jewish song title that translates to the nation of Israel lives. That was our wedding song by the way had a few jewish comics there i thought uh the palestinian american congresswoman got so fucking angry she strapped on a dynamite belt and the palestinian american congressman blasted the note oh she blasted it that could be that's kind of racist language right there uh as hateful and uh and bullying and then she said this

get this through your head you jew motherfucker you uh she said stop the fear-mongering and blatant lies, Tlaib tweeted. Come here with the value that all beings deserve human rights, including Palestinians. Hey, you dumb bitch. You're the one who's making anti-Semitic remarks that even your side, even your side went after you for. Okay? And how do we know the note's real? How do we know this is not another fake noose, i.e. Jesse Smellit?

Seriously, take the note to a handwriting specialist. Please. Be funny if it was Trump himself. Donald, would you do that? I wrote a note. It wasn't any-Semitic. They do hate the Jews. I think my son-in-law, Jared, might have put that on there.

Anyhow, stop the fear-mongering, blatant lies. Rep Omar and I fight for equality and justice for all. There's nothing anti-Semitic about that. Well, then tell your own party, you fucking liar. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. Aloha, man! Aloha, man! Aloha, man! Aloha, man! Take it easy. Take it easy. Anyways, House Democrats scrambled to condemn the Minnesota Democrats remarks and issued a resolution condemning all forms of hate.

This is what I was talking about. She made a few comments. I confuse her with the other one. There's so many. It's starting to look like a starting to look like the kitchen at an ISIS camp. I don't know. Yeah, you can tell because she doesn't wear the thing on her head. The other one.

She doesn't wear the thing on her head. The other one does. She doesn't wear the thing on her. She's the one. Isn't she the one when she won that night said they were going to impeach the motherfucker? Yeah, and her kid was like right next to her. Yeah. So no deserved. Go back to where the fuck you came from. You represent a real big constituency.

Twelve, about 14 Somalis in downtown Minneapolis living in a two bedroom. That's not suspicious. I just made that up. It's about 4,000 Somalis and I will not go to that mall because it's called Mall of America. You might as well paint a bullseye in your forehead while you're shopping for sneakers at Foot Locker. Oh, Nick, that's paranoia. You're sad. You're a sad, angry man. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, kiss my dirty grits. What is this?

Australian convicted pedophile with dwarfism could avoid jail. A pedophile was... I mean, a pedophile. A dwarf. A dwarf pedophile. Those are my worst nightmares. Dwarf pedophiles are the worst because they're right at genital height. You know what I mean? It's horrible.

When they have girlfriends, they have to go up on them. A convicted pedophile with dwarfism could avoid time. Oh, boy, just put a gun in your mouth. I don't mean to bully you, but a convicted pedophile with dwarfism could avoid time behind. You can tell the dwarf ones, I think, because the head is about 96% of the body weight. time behind, you can tell the dwarf ones, I think, because the head is about 96% of the body weight. And they have the hands of Gronkowski, but then they're only, you know, 3 feet 11 inches.

He could avoid time behind bars due to fears he'll be targeted by other inmates because of his diminutive stature. They'll be using him as a dildo, you know. Yeah, ramming each other with it. You know how they throw midgets and shit at bars? They'll grease his head and go. We represent the lollipop. Daniel James Knuth. The son of Australian politician Shane Knuth.

Boy. Oh, my God. Is that him? He looks like a fucking actor that we all know. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Does he?

Matt Damon. Does he not? Matt Damon. Matt Damon? Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Matt Damon. Oh, my God. Can you imagine being molested by a guy that looks like a mini Matt Damon?

Holy shit. I was touched by a guy that looked like a mini Ben Affleck, but that was a couple years ago. I didn't mind that I was drunk. Listen to this little scumbag, though. Yeah, can you imagine? He's the son of an Australian politician, Shane Knuth, was found guilty in December 2018 of committing 35 child sex offenses. But maybe the kids thought he was a kid. That's not true

because he was doing it over the internet. When a 21-year-old faced a court in Townsville, he admitted to using a fake Facebook account to coax underage girls into sending him nude photographs of themselves. Anybody worrying about the girls? They're worried about this guy. He's small. He might get

hurt in jail. Fuck him. It's prison. It's punishment. Him getting beat up by a bunch of crips and bloods, that's fucking justice for what he did to these kids. I don't have a problem with it. I'd like to see foot. I'd like to turn on lockup one night and see him being fucking used as a bar of soap. What are the Australian crips and bloods?

Why don't you Google that? You're a producer. You're asking the host. You never really got the hang of this job, did you? It's a good question. Judge Greg Lineman said at the time that the sheer number of victims and the details of the crimes committed suggested an appropriate sentence would be jail. Gee, you think so? That'll be a, oh, I forgot the goddamn P-I-G pig. Knuth's lawyer, Bruce Gillen, argued at an initial sentencing in December, according to the Daily

Mail, that jail would be a very difficult environment for him because of his small size. Yeah, Mr. Gillen, jail is supposed to be a difficult environment for everybody. That's why it's jail. That's why we send them there as a punishment. How about the girls, the underage girls, just creep fucking mental. How about the mental problems they're going to have uh after being fucking finger popped by a leprechaun uh linham or linham in december postponed sentencing in order to uh gain a better understanding of the vulnerabilities of someone with dwarfism in jail oh we have to study

that it's very simple uh black guy comes out of shower, 6'6", 280. Dwarf goes into shower, 4'7", 39 pounds. Let's study that. What could happen? On March 20th, Knuth's case was heard in court where Lyman ordered the director of public prosecutions explicitly to explore the suitability of the Townsville Correctional Center for someone with Knuth's condition. Maybe you can find a hollowed-out chestnut tree and he can make cookies. In fairness to them, they need to have an opportunity to consider how they might accommodate him lindman said meanwhile knuth remains out on bail wearing platform shoes and trolling uh crown prosecutor dominique or or called knuth a sexual predator who preyed on vulnerable children

as young as 12 she alleged knuth post posed as a personal trainer named Jack Thomason. I think I got a new screen name. On the fake Facebook profile and would bait young girls with photographs of naked male models. Ryan has been to the site many times pretending they showcased his own physique. We actually have a video of him exercising. Of the dwarf?

Go ahead. Is that Matt Damon on the right? Why's Bob Dole there. Camel doesn't know he's in a race yet. This is him running from a bake sale at a middle school. Oh, the camel just spotted the little fuck. Hey, you touched my sister! Look at those strides! Not the camel

of the dwarf. Look at those strides! They have to be eight inches. It's like me running with new sneakers that don't take the plastic thing off. Where'd they find all these dwarves? Hahaha! The camel's looking back like you little midget. Thank God for the... There you go. Hand that off.

Holy shit! Look at this! This guy's got... Cornerback speed. Holy moly. Who won? Now he's going to head to a Cub Scout's house. All right.

Go ahead, Ryan. Don't be shy. So there is a gang of young youths in Australia Who are modeling themselves off of the bloods And they call themselves the Reds That's right, the Reds They're Russians Anyways

So he would pose as a fake Personal trainer And use naked male models Pretending it was his physique And you just saw On one occasion he said Show me your blank And use naked male models, pretending it was his physique. And you just saw. On one occasion, he said, show me your blank. What is this, the match game with Gene Rayburn?

A dwarf said to a girl, underage girl on Facebook, show me your blank. Stepladder? Wok, wok, wok, wok. But he said, show me I'm guessing you're pussy so I know you are serious, which is the line I used to use when I went out to date a girl. Orr said in court testimony describing this sexually explicit message, Knuth was excused of sending him out. The prosecutors allege Knuth even threatened one of the girls with a beating and rape. And the girl said, oh, really?

I'm a foot taller than you, bitch. Knuth pleaded guilty to 27 counts of using the Internet to procure a child, seven counts involving children and making child exploitation material, and one count of possessing child exploitation material, and two counts of having lifts in his boots. Oh, what a creepy world these kids are growing up in, huh? You know, can you imagine? You're looking at a male model, you're like, yeah, I'd fucking do that guy.

I'm going to swipe right, and then the Lucky Charms guy shows up with a Speedo on. Probably has a giant dick, though. That's the thing about those dwarfs. I heard that in a chat room I was in the other night. Ryan, your thoughts? They actually have the Bloods, Crips, Latin Kings, and MS-13 in Australia. I know. They're all over the world.

But the Reds thing, you're right. I actually read that. So the Bloods or the Reds, what ares what are the crab what do they call themselves the blues obviously uh ladies and gentlemen uh and you can get these at nickdip.com two nights from tonight that'll be friday march 29th i'll be at the decatur civic center decatur illinois and then the next night this sat Saturday night, March 30th, Del Mar Hall, St. Louis, Missouri. Friday, April 6th, the Steel Stacks in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, May 3rd and 4th, the Sidesplitters in Tampa, Florida. Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th, the Governors in Levittown, New York.

Friday, May 31st, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine. Saturday, June 1, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass. Saturday, August 10, Newtown Theater, Newtown, Pennsylvania. Friday and Saturday, August 16th and 17th, Helium in Philly, great club. And Friday, October 18th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York, and then back at the Tarrytown Music Hall in Tarrytown, New York on New Year's Eve.

Am I really bringing that up already? Oh my God. Hey, opening day starts. I know officially it started like in the middle of the morning when the Mariners and A's played Japan or some shit. But for me, it starts

when the world champions start to defend their title, which will be tomorrow night. I'm just bringing that up now. Do you understand we want a Super Bowl and a World Series? And do you understand the Bruins have a good chance at winning a cup this year? Do you understand? I would just, it means nothing to me personally, but I'm very excited. I'm from that area. And Gronk retired. I never mentioned that on the show. The Gronk.

But people aren't believing it in the media for some reason because Brady's like, Brady's been texting and Instagramming about, you know, maybe we keep him around. Even if he's out banging, you know,

whatever he does, drinking 40 beers and chasing porno stars and shit. You know, he wouldn't even have to work out. He's such a physical spender. Shows up around playoff time, does 12 deep knee bends, couple pull-ups, catches 11 passes.

That's the type of guy he is. So, Gronk, thank you for everything, motherfucker. You're gonna be in every movie. You're gonna be like Mike Tyson. He's gonna be in every goddamn movie. Right? Don't you think so? You guys know who Jordan Peele is? Jordan Peele. Remember the

Comedy Central had Key and Peele. It's a big hit. You know the show, guys? Not really. Oh my God. Do you guys ever Not really. Oh, my God. Do you guys ever leave the tent? Peel.

Blackfella. Anyways, back in 2003, landed a gig on Mad TV, then achieving a sketch comedy stardom with Comedy Central's Key and Peel in 2012. Anyways, now he's a big director type guy. Why am I reading this? I'll get to it in a second. I'm just giving you a little bit of his career. UPC co-founder and moderator Ian Roberts, who executive produced Key and Peele,

began mentioning the movie Us that Peele, I guess, made. $88 million, Global Box Office Hall, the second biggest opening for original live action film. I don't know any of these movies. I don't give a fuck.

And at the end, when I read about what he says, I'm glad I don't, you know. Original live action film, at appeal, that's after Avatar, whatever. The stats get cooler when you say things like that. In other words, Avatar. Anyways, directing for me is about hiring the right people. That will be black people. You'll find out. Listening to them and helping them do the best job possible.

Remember that sentence because he's full of shit right there. As much as I want to like him, probably a good guy. It's about hiring the right people. What do you mean by that? There he is. He's doing very well in an otherwise racist world uh listening to them and helping him do the best job possible which in the end is not true uh he studied improv sketch comedy noting a dearth of black performers in those fields a hole he intended to fill i knew about

he moved to chicago studied second city where where he met Keegan, Michael Key. The two brought their talent to L.A., landed on their feet with gigs on MADtv. Toward the end of his contract on the Fox sketch show, Peel said he was off at his dream gig, a spot on the cast of SNL. It was around the time that Barack Obama was becoming a thing, he explained, and Peel did an uncanny impression of the future president. But MAD TV producers, those evil white slash Jewish fellas, wouldn't let him out of his contract. Ending his SNL dreams,

he locked himself in his room and started smoking a lot of weed, plotting his revenge like a comic book supervillain, he explained. Then it hit him. I wanted to be a producer, he realized. Peele decided he first had to be great and gave himself seven, eight years to get there. So he started developing multiple projects. He's a talented, smart dude, no doubt. Simultaneously to see what stuck. Get Out was one of his early scripts. You guys familiar with that?

Are you guys really? It's just that I'm fucking old, I guess. What the fuck's Get Out, Jason? It's a horror flick he produced. Was it good? Yeah, it was pretty good. It was one of those early scripts. Every two weeks I'd go, what the fuck am I doing?

He said, I'm writing a movie where a black man is victimized and all the white people are evil. What are you doing? You're doing what the rest of Hollywood's doing. And I'm trying to get the audience to have fun, he recalled. But then in quotes he said, but if you could make that fun, that's what brought me back. He eventually finished the script. Producer Sean McKittrick bought the thrill spec on the spot,

proving again, it's such a racist country. That turned to, maybe the guy's black, I don't know. That turned to shock when McKittrick said he was on board with the idea

of Peele directing the film himself. Budgeted at five million, the film became a cultural phenomenon earning north of 250 mil worldwide directing the film himself. Budgeted at $5 million, the film became a cultural phenomenon earning north of $250 million worldwide. Good for him. And winning Peele an Oscar for best original screenplay. And it was a horror flick?

And it was like funny? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he won an Oscar where they always piss on comedy. Fucking, oh, those Oscar fags. He saw his status in Hollywood change almost overnight. With the success of Us, he's now well on his way to joining the rarefied ranks of blockbuster auteurs like Christopher Nolan and personal hero Scott. Fame is still something he's trying to figure out, blah, blah, blah.

Anyways, he says, but there's other kinds of power. Peel plans on wielding his judiciously. One way is to continue putting black faces on the screen in leading roles. The way I look at it, he explained, I get to cast black people in my movies. I feel fortunate to be in this position where I can say to Universal, I want to make a $20 million horror movie with a black family. And they say yes. Why does race always come into it why you just said you

want to hire the right people uh when you say hire the right people to me that's the best actors and actresses regardless of their color that's all i'm saying i'm not beefing here but i'm just saying listen now i want you to imagine if a white director said this as successful as he is i don't see myself casting a white dude as the lead in my movie not that i don't like white dudes he said but i've seen that movie the line drew loud applause and shouts from the fucking left wing idiots in los angeles that are sheeple and have no mind of their own. Not one of them would stand up and say, excuse me, Mr. Peel, isn't that kind of racist? I mean, can you imagine if Ron Howard said, I don't think I'm going to hire any black dudes anymore. Not that I dislike black dudes. And I know what you're thinking. Well, Nick, they've

been oppressed. Shut up. Have you been watching the Oscars for the last five years? I think you'd be interested to know Get Out is about a black guy who dates a white girl and her family tries to kill him. It's a horror movie. The white family tries to kill him? Seriously? It's complicated. it's it's complicated they like the it's a rich family and they run this business where they like sap the consciousness out of the black dudes and then sell the bodies to they sap the consciousness yeah and then they they insert the white person's consciousness so

that they're like revitalizing themselves as oh i'm sure it's all a plot to show white people as good people yeah no definitely totally but i mean what's the name of that movie it's called get out get out hey the guy's got a creative mind and shit it was an interesting concept and it was very up front about what it was which i appreciated that it wasn't trying to sneak that so are you all right with him just saying i don't think i'm gonna hire oh no that's that's silly but that's playing out flat fucking black anti-white racism is what it is. And you jerk-offs, he was speaking in front of a bunch of improv students. And you all just sat there, right? Like the dopes that you are.

Because you're marinating in left-wing horseshit in LA. It started to taint my thinking when I was out there. Luckily, I got the fuck out of there. I was there for four and a half years. I was in the shower having an imaginary argument with an imaginary agent that I didn't have. I'm not shitting you. I was literally talking to myself,

fighting with an agent I didn't have, and I moved about a week later. I said, these motherfuckers have turned me crazy. It's true, Ryan. I'm not shitting you. We talk to ourselves all the time. Oh, God. There's no one else who talked to us. it's true ryan i'm literally we talk to ourselves all the time oh god there's something wrong with the black man well anyhow mr peel you're you're smart dude and again i don't begrudge you success but to come out

and fucking say that just i i just why don't you try to reverse it a little bit? I know you think you're owed everything because your great, great, great, great grandparents had it horrible and whatnot. But to come right on and say, I don't think I'll be hired, I've seen that movie. And you know what? I'm fine with that. If Scorsese can come out and say that, although he doesn't have many black people. And when he does, they get shot because they fell asleep in the getaway car. although he doesn't have many black people. And when he does, they get shot because they fell asleep in the getaway car.

I'm just saying that's a racist statement. And I'm sure a lot of white fellas help you along the way. But I'm sure the white actors, the young improv kids are like, yeah, they even said they shouted out in agreement, you know. Oh, my aching stem, my aching stem.

What do I, let's end it with this. By the way, wow, I got it real quick. How about this, folks? After nearly three years and millions of tech dollars, the Trump-Russia collusion probe is about to be resolved. Emerging in its place is newly unearthed evidence suggesting another foreign effort to influence the 2016 election this time in favor of the democrats ukraine's top prosecutor divulged in an interview aired wednesday on hill tv that he has opened an investigation into whether his country's law enforcement apparatus intentionally

leaked financial records during the 2016 u.S. presidential campaign about then-Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort in an effort to sway the election in favor of the thick-ankle fucking dogface. Son of a whore! files to U.S. media prompted Manafort's resignation from the Trump campaign and gave rise to one of the key allegations in the Russia collusion probe that has dogged Trump for the last two and a half years. Ukraine Prosecutor General Yuri Lutsenko probe was prompted by a Ukrainian parliamentarian's release of a tape recording purporting to quote a top law enforcement official as saying, I know these are a lot of words, but stick with me, as saying his agency leaked the Manafort financial records to help Clinton's campaign. You think we're going to dig into this on Rachel Maddow?

The parliamentarian also secured a court ruling that the leak amounted to an illegal intrusion into the American election campaign. Lutsenko said the tape recording is a serious enough allegation to warrant opening a probe, and one of his concerns is that the Ukrainian law enforcement agency involved had frequent contact with the Obama administration's U.S. embassy at Kiev at the time. Lutsenko, before becoming prosecutor general,

was a major activist against Russia's influence in his country during the tenure of Moscow-allied former President Viktor Yanukovych. I don't want to get into it too further. But anyways, we know our FBI set up shop in the U.S. embassy in Kiev to assist its Ukraine Manafort inquiry. He's going to get pardoned anyways. Common practice on foreign-based probes while using Steele as an informant at the start of its Russia probe. And we know Clinton's campaign was using a law firm to pay an opposition research firm for Steele's work in an effort to stop Trump from winning the presidency. At the same time,

Steele was aiding the FBI. So how do you like that? You fucking hypocrite. Yeah. Anyways, I just wanted to tease you with that. It gets really deep. But it could lead to, you know. Again, Republicans, wake the fuck up. Take the reins now. Now let's go after Hillary. Fucking Obama. Nobody even mentions this son of a bitch.

What? I got a super chat from Patrick Dorvett. Says, once that poo cop is canned He should apply to be Hillary's laundry maid If he likes playing with stool Who said that? Patty Dor? Patrick Dor

Very good Hardly worth breaking up my fucking rant But yes, I agree Poo cop Hillary stool I was just sitting here waiting to get a minute I didn't start saying it No, but you look at me with these eyes Like you either had a super chat Or you want to finger pop me I was just sitting here waiting to get a minute. I didn't start saying it. No, but you look at me with these eyes like you either had a super chat

or you want to finger pop me. Anyways, that's the fucking point that please start hearings. You saw what Lindsey Graham did with the tweet from Comey that picture of him in the woods looking up at these trees and Comey's tweet said,

so many questions. And Lizzie said, you're so right, something like that. See you soon. That's gonna make for appointment TV, motherfuckers. Anyways. Hey, let's put up real quick Roger Stone, our buddy. Do we have that clip of him saying he

likes me? You got that? Go ahead. If you need a refresher course on Roger Stone. Just one second. He was an Do we have that clip of him saying he likes me? You got that? Good. If you need a refresher course on Roger Stone. Just one second. He was an advisor, not an official, but an advisor to the Trump campaign. This is a guy that got a tattoo of Nixon on his back when he was 18 years old. I like him because he walks to his own beat and he's crazy. He loved my radio show on satellite radio. We have proof that he's crazy. He loved my radio show on satellite radio. We have proof that he likes me.

As far as Stephen Colbert is concerned, that's right, Stephen. That's the way it is. So, you know, as I said in the movie, Get Me Roger Stone, which unfortunately Robert Mueller watched and thought it was entitled Get Roger Stone. I revel in the hatred of these leftist uh retards they're not talented they're not funny trevor noah not funny nick dipalo now that's funny oh i love you roge we gotta help this guy he is literally this is why mullah everybody's pat him on the back but he destroyed some lives roger stone being one of them and the guy is broke literally broke do we put up the uh thing he's got a gofundme page we gotta help this guy i sent you a thing

didn't i fellas come on you were doing so well nothing what the site's flagged that it has viruses and now oh this all right anyways roger stone google what is it what's the actual why i don't have a copy in front of me that's my roger stone legal defense.com roger stone legal defense.com they are literally moving into a one-bedroom apartment, borrowing money to buy groceries. Okay, say it again, Ryan. RogerStoneLegalDefense.com I think me and my wife had made a contribution already, and we're going to make another one. If you like this show and what I stand for, he's the same thing, okay?

So make a donation at... RogerStoneLegalDlegaldefensefund.com. But I sent you guys a copy of what they sent me, and it's already getting flagged and shit? Yeah, the website's down. That's not too – which website? Why do you need a website? I sent you an email, though. But I sent you like an email.

No? We don't want to pull up your actual email inbox to do it okay well i guess it has our email why not muller's probably got it that's the other thing randy credico who's the counterpart of roger stone on the left also a friend and he was indicted by muller so i'm sure my phone's been tapped many times but i say nothing of any importance. You can tell by my ratings. What? Anyways, so again, Ryan, one more time. Roger Stone, LegalDefenseFund.com. There you go. Go to that, make a contribution, what you can afford. They are borrowing money to buy groceries, moving into a, you know, a one-bedroom apartment because of Mueller

and the government's heavy-handed tactics. And I've got to believe that Trump is going to pardon him, Manafort, and a bunch of other people, because a lot of presidents have pardoned a lot worse than that. That is it today, folks. Don't forget Cameo.com. And let me send something mean or happy to somebody to make or ruin their day. Remember, you guys have been thinking it. I've been saying it.

You're very welcome. We'll see you guys on Patreon tomorrow. Take care of yourselves, everybody. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ We'll be right back.