The Nick DiPaolo Show - Marine To The Rescue | Nick Di Paolo Show #1398
Episode Date: May 15, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about NYC subway nonsense, the Air Force's social experiment and more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full epi...sodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 Yeah, yeah, yeah, what it is and what it was.
How are you, folks?
Great to be with you in a country that is rotting from the inside out like
some communists predicted
and who would have guessed it's people who think like
communists who are helping it rot from the inside
out
oh boy
oh boy
yes
let me close this up
looks like Tony Danza circa 1970
I love this shirt but that always bothered me.
So I only wore it with a necktie,
but I can't now because I'm fucking huge.
I'm like a rock.
What?
I got the neck of Hillary Clinton,
the ankles of Lou Groza,
and the tits of Philip Seymour Hoffman.
Did I say that right?
I always mix up his name.
That guy was at Louie's house
when I was doing the reading with all the famous people.
He was hanging out.
My wife brought, it was Thanksgiving.
She brought a dessert.
You guys might have heard of it.
And he kept, he brought a dessert.
And my wife said, I'll put it.
And he fucking kept checking on her.
Is it going?
Fucking bizarre.
F. Murray Abrams, great actor.
He's in the kitchen.
It was fucking bizarre.
All right.
Anyhow, I was just watching a little video before we came on of a black girl, Tennessee
High School, pepper spraying her teacher because her teacher took away her
phone for disciplinary reasons. And because she grew up with no structure whatsoever
and no impulse control, she thinks she has the right to pepper spray her teacher.
And she kept going, I need my phone. I need my phone.
I need my phone.
There was a generation of fucking zombies out there.
It is scary.
It's literally like a part of their body.
They can't go five minutes without it.
Can you imagine having the gall to pepper spray your teacher?
I wish I had those balls.
Because I, no.
What is going on?
Parenting or lack thereof.
Well, yes.
God forbid you said that, though.
A breakdown.
And again, some senator wrote a thesis on it in 1966 about the dissolution of the African-American family.
In 66. Okay. And it's been getting worse
every year since then. It's already, I don't know. And I'm not fucking exaggerating. It's going down
just the way I heard it was going to go down. All these quotes of famous people back in the day,
if, you know, if there's no, if there's freedom without responsibility, you're going to go down. All these quotes of famous people back in the day, if there's
freedom without responsibility, you're going to end up just a bunch of ethnicities living next
to each other with nothing in common, squabbling. I forget who said that. I think it was Cat Williams.
No. Motherfucker. Nothing but fish sandwiches in that motherfucker.
sandwiches in that motherfucker.
And it's happening before our eyes.
This society is just the very fabric
and I think it must be polyester
fucking melting away.
Every day I read
the headlines.
They get darker
and darker.
I'm on the phone with Colin Quinn.
I go, how about the black guy that shot two white guys
Because they were white in the back of the head and he goes he goes, you know, it's scary I haven't even heard that one yet
This guy walks into a library
There's a white guy sitting there like reading
Shoots him the back of the head and then goes outside and shoots another guy in the back of the head
No news.
We're covering a violent, mentally ill black guy on a subway who was threatening people.
Actually said, I don't care if I die or not.
And a white Marine steps up, does the job,
and they're covering him like he's a bad guy.
On a loop, by the way.
So think about that.
Now reverse the races, which is what I should have told you.
You can drop that in.
We're talking about that today, aren't we?
I don't even know.
But picture that being a white homeless guy,
and a black guy choking him out after he threatened a bunch of...
You wouldn't hear a peep.
It would have been justice. Society can't last for those double, triple standards. Just fucking
can't. Anyways, I call that story the, oh, we're opening with it, the N train. Why do
you say that? Well, it's the N train. That's all I'm going to say. I took the N train,
I don't know which train it was, when I lived in Queens. It was at the top of my street.
It would stop.
That was the final stop.
It was so great.
I was a real New Yorker.
I wouldn't get on that thing today if you paid me.
Homeless criminal Jordan Neely choked out by vet Daniel Penny,
like 24-year-old Marine, and protests, guess what?
Protests ensue.
There's something wrong with the black man's mind.
There's something wrong with his mind.
Let's take a look at the video, Warner.
Look at this.
This is the United States of America,
New York City, 2023.
Just soak it in, folks.
The fall of a great nation.
Look it, Drod's got a mask on.
Just a morning commute.
How'd you like to be a cop?
Cuss to the same people as usual.
Is that not society unraveling before our fucking eyes?
Can you imagine wanting to be a cop?
Who'd want to be a cop?
What do you get, $40,000 a year maybe?
Most of those cops, you know what they do?
They go out to New Jersey, the suburbs.
Have a nice quiet beat.
Most of those cops, you know what they do?
They go out to New Jersey, the suburbs, have a nice quiet beat.
It's just, and look at these douchebags jumping down onto the tracks.
I'm guessing, Dallas, everybody says, well, there's a, you know,
the third rail will fry you.
I'm guessing that, you know, once again, the establishment caved in and shut that off.
I'm guessing they don't want nobody to get.
But do you see did you see any cops or security bashing people over the head?
It's what you got to do.
That's the only way this is going to stop.
You can't just stand there.
But if they do that in today's climate with Alvin Bragg as the DA in New York,
you're going to go fucking straight to jail.
Not the scumbags who are interrupting people trying to go to work.
What the fuck?
Look at these whores.
I wish a train would come flying by,
turn them into fucking...
Nice ground chuck.
Look at a mask on.
Holy shit, that's a train. Yeah.
That's the fucking rail.
Look at them filming themselves.
All right.
I can't even.
I can't even. Turn off the lights.
The party's over.
They say that all good things must end.
Call it a night.
The party's over.
And tomorrow and next year starts the same old thing again.
For you youngsters, that was Don Meredith on Monday Night Football.
He used to be known to have a couple.
That was fucking interesting.
Anyways, but can you imagine?
I almost want to say to people, and I know it's not this easy,
but if you're still living in New York and taking a subway,
you almost deserve to be subjected to this shit.
But that's easy for me to say because, you know,
shit. But that's easy for me to say because, you know, I'm living out in the suburbs and I have security around the clock. A couple of Eagle Scouts with nice asses.
Dallas found them at the mall. Go ahead, Dallas, tell them. Anyhow, any heat?
So protests has also blocked the subway tracks. We chanted blocking oncoming trains.
That's what we just showed, right?
Um, I hate the people.
It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy.
And you can project it back on me.
Hey guys, in the second half of the show, I'll be talking about a Strikeforce MMA fighter challenging a trans fighter.
Apparently, he's had enough.
He actually said anybody who encourages this trans shit should be publicly executed.
It might be taking a tad far, but I don't know.
I have to mull that one over.
And a guy wakes up in a hotel room with the manager of the hotel sucking on something of his.
I won't tell you what.
I'll give you a hint.
It wasn't his elbow.
So stay tuned.
Exclusively.
That's exclusively on Mug Club.
So join now to get that at nickdapaloshow.com.
Do that, would you please?
Anyhow. What? I that, would you please? Anyhow, what, I mean,
New York City.
Just go to your phone.
I'm sure you guys do.
Just go to your phone in the morning.
My wife won't even watch it.
She can't even subject it,
and I don't blame her.
She's kind of sensitive
when it comes to that.
I take it in,
and then it comes out in my bitterness.
Why are you in a bad mood?
I don't know.
Fuck, the empire's crumbling at the door.
Can't blame anybody
for not following that shit.
I can't imagine having kids.
Babies right now.
What is going to become
of them? I don't know. Who is going to become of them?
I don't know.
Who's going to step up?
Word has it that Trump's going to be in jail
when we get around to campaigning for president.
Oh, my God.
Let's see if we stand for that.
Anyhow, any he.
I'd step up, but I get, you know, hockey to watch,
and I got a bad shoulder.
Anybody watching playoff hockey?
I can't believe there's
jerk-offs watching NBA playoffs. I put it on for four minutes and I was throwing up blood. It was
so boring. Whistle after whistle. I flip over to hockey. Eight minutes at a time. Bodies flying.
Guy got his teeth knocked out. Two fights. Goals. Great saves. All kinds of stuff.
Nobody dropping the end bomb.
Although, let me tell you something.
Edmonton Oilers have like three or four plays.
I don't like the pattern.
It's a joke, everybody.
Of course, they're actually good players.
But, and a black ref in the NHL.
It's unbelievable.
It's good, isn't it?
I think it is.
Anyhow, let's move on.
Oh, my ass.
Don't ever scratch your ass with a, you know what, what do you call that thing, a loafer?
Especially the handle.
Cut.
What?
What was that?
Into the mic, dummy.
That's not scratching.
No, that isn't.
That's trying to unclog a drain.
Hey, what's the headline?
Clusterfuck.
The United States Air Force abandoned an experiment aimed at boosting pilot training graduation rates for women in minority pilots,
proving once again the military focusing on all the wrong things at the most dangerous time,
with China breathing down our neck,
wanting global dominance with Russia, and we're worrying about how many black and women and gays
are in the military. Terrific. Boosting pilot training graduation rates for women and minority
pilots after the 2021 initiative failed to achieve the intended results, and officers privately warned it could violate anti-discrimination policies,
according to documents obtained by the Daily Caller News Foundation.
It's a deadly situation.
They failed with their tech.
When are you going to learn?
It's a meritocracy.
It's why we became great, you dinkweeds.
As part of the larger military-wide effort to promote diversity in the service's pilot ranks, the 19th Air Force Command
near San Antonio, Texas, clustered, that's in quotes, racial minorities, hey, it sounds like
segregation, and female trainees, ooh, black men, white broads,
and black broads, and Chinese,
a couple Indians, I'm sure.
And female trainees, they put them into one
class. Hey, what could happen? And it was
dubbed America's class.
America's class.
In other words, anything
that sands white male
is not America's, it's not worth, you know.
To find out if doing so would improve the pilot's graduation rate.
Now, why would you even think that in the beginning?
Why would you fucking, what? Why?
I just hate the, you know, since women are in the military,
there's been all kinds of rapes,
and there's a reason we did things the way we did years ago.
Oh, you're a reactionary.
No, they work.
There's a reason women and men weren't in the military.
Relation, fuck, you know, whatever.
Rapes, all kinds of horse shit.
Sexual harassment, blah, blah, blah.
Because men will always be men, women will always
be women.
It used to be the case. Now,
you got Tiny Tim shooting at you.
Tip toe
through the tulips by the window.
To find out doing so would improve
the pilots.
Why would that improve the graduation rates?
Why would you think that?
However, not only did the effort fail to boost minority and women candidates' success rates, but officers involved say they were ordered to engage in potential, not potentially,
involved say they were ordered to engage in potential not potentially see how they use potentially unlawful discrimination by excluding white males from the clai you guys don't see this
all intentional take down the american military who the fuck who made up the military when we
saved the world from fuck you know what? Hitler and Mussolini.
Huh? Who was it made up of?
Mostly
white guys. You ever see Saving Private
Ryan? I couldn't
believe when I watched that movie. I'm like,
holy shit! Even
that movie, they didn't...
Were there any black in that movie?
How did he get
away? Oh, it was Spielberg,berg that's why but I'm just saying
yeah let's exclude the people who saved the fucking even though it's a different generation
I understand and the caliber of white man today but that's not the point you know what I'm saying
quit being dinks anyways the air force doubled. It doubled down on efforts intended to improve diversity.
So it failed, so they doubled down on it.
That's how bad they want to ruin the military.
To improve diversity in the ranks in 2020, following the death of George Floyd,
imagine using him as a reason to do anything.
Held a gun to a pregnant woman's stomach, did black porn, you know.
The Air Force Times reported,
Department of Defense identified a more extreme lack of racial and gender diversity.
Oh, my God.
All in the name of the, destroying the country, all in the name of that.
Gender diversity, race diversity, among so-called rated officers,
like pilots, who are most often prompted to top leadership positions.
Initial results, how many years do we have to have proof
that certain people are better at certain things than others?
Without, huh?
Initial results and student feedback from the clustering experiment was inconclusive.
The AETC spokesperson told the DCNF, I am NRD.
Minority students did not progress at a faster rate, but they got much more white pussy.
Good night, everybody.
Now here's Phil with sports.
Progress at faster rates than in previous classes.
And not all students saw clustering as beneficial.
Did you hear that?
Even the students didn't like it.
White power, one, two, three, four!
The people that you're subjecting them.
It's a catchy little...
It's time to watch my country.
Don't tell a dream.
I blame Dallas for it.
My ass is sore today.
Sorry.
No, you were supposed to go, what did you do yesterday?
Oh, my God.
Help us the Father, the Son, the Almighty of whatever you call it.
Anyways, I used to know that whole thing, that whole thing.
Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the second half of the show.
Everyone else go to Nick DiPaolo, do you know how to spell that? D-I-P-A-O-L-O show.com. And join to get my full show and Steven Crowder's show and a lot more.
And while you're there, click on the tour button to see me live May 12th.
That's this Friday night.
Hilton Daytona Beach Oceanfront Resort, Daytona Beach, Florida.
I just like the sound of it.
I don't see how that's going to be.
May 19th and 20th, Hyenas Comedy
Club. That's next.
Two weekends in a row?
Did I sign up for that?
And then May 19th.
Oh, okay. Next.
And
July 14th and 15th,
Arlington Cinema and Draft House.
Arlington, Virginia. I've been to that one many
times, and it's a good one
because the people sit in chairs.
There's chairs like they pulled out
of old cars, it looks like.
I mean, big leather,
the ones in the front.
It's the only place
when somebody wants to heckle,
they pull that thing
and the recliner comes in.
Next!
It's really fucking weird.
Great place, though.
In the green room,
this is how well I know these places.
In the green room, what was the story
called that everybody loves?
A Christmas Carol?
Is that the movie?
The lamp with the leg?
A Christmas story.
A Christmas story, yes.
A Jew story.
Yeah, that's in the green room, that lamp.
Going to try to steal that from my wife. guitar solo Outro Music