The Nick DiPaolo Show - Medical Field in "Critical" Condition | Nick Di Paolo Show #1310

Episode Date: November 22, 2022

Kari Lake Sends Message. Kobe's Daughter Stalked. The Race To Ruin Medicine. Jay's Skin Update. Viking's Highlight Porn Star. Strip Club & Porn Site Want Miami Heat.

Hey guys, gonna be a shorter week than usual due to Thanksgiving, but I got a great show for you today. So sit back with your martini or your fat joint or your dirty needle. Enjoy. guitar solo Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, how are you, folks? Welcome to the show, the final day of the week of Tuesday. Got a great show for you tomorrow. Interviewed A.J. Rice. He's the CEO of his own, you know, firm, PR firm. And he's repped big names, including Don Jr. And he's done a lot of stuff for me over the years and got me good

guests here. It just has a favor to me. Grew up watching Tough Crowd. I couldn't get a word in. He was so good. I mean, he's sharp as a tack on top of everything, and he's got a book I'll call The Woke Dead or The Woking Dead. What is it? The Woking Dead. Oh, like The Walking Dead. You'd think I'd put those together, but I'm 106. Dumb motherfucking guinea. Anyhow, yeah, so happy Thanksgiving to you early.

Oh, fuck. You guys think that's the sound of a turkey? That's my dog at a park. I slammed the front door yesterday. You're not wrong. Any he, any. Real quick, can I read the story I just saw, Dallas, that I didn't even give to you? But we love, you know, the degradation of our society. We're kind of a disgrace.

Louisiana Catholic priest has pleaded guilty to a felony obscenity charge for filming a threesome with two dominatrices on a church altar. Travis Clark got a three-year suspended prison sentence for engaging in the unholy trinity along with three years of supervised probation. Who's going to supervise the cardinal? And a $1,000 fine?

That's it? A representative of the Archdiocese of New Orleans was present in court and signed off on the sentence after Clark entered his plea Monday. The 39-year-old was serving as a pastor at St. Peter. Can you make this shit up? Of course. And Paul, St. Peter and Paul, that was a fivesome.

Catholic Church in Pearl River. One night in September 2020, when I passed by, I noticed the lights were on. When the witness peered through a window, yeah, it was a stained glass window. With what? He saw a half-naked clerk having sex romp with two women in corsets and high-heeled boots atop the altar. Can I... I don't know if you can see this. Is this too far away?

You got to get a... Should I walk up to the camera? Yeah, walk up to the camera. Look at this guy. If he's a priest, I'm a nun. Can you... Oh, shit. How do I... Kind of bright, huh? Yeah. a priest, I'm a nun. Can you... Oh, shit. I don't know why you...

Kind of bright, huh? Yeah. Oh, shit. Oh, anyways, he looks like Jim Brewer had a kid with a retarded woman. Oh, my... It's the scariest I can do what I've ever seen. Anyhow,

I know you people listening are going, what the fuck? Police officers were called to the church, discovered a tripod. Boy, it must have been well hung. Discovered a tripod-mounted camera that had been recording the sick romp. Sex toys and stage lighting were also found, and francis fort coppola no cops determined that everything that went on that night was consensual but yeah that's not the point i don't think but arrested the randy clergyman and his two scantily clad companions on obscenity charges

because they were in view of the public the two professional dominatrices, Mindy Dixon and Melissa Chang, pleaded guilty in July to misdemeanor counts of institutional vandalism, slapped with two years of probation, and they said they could keep the cuffs. What? Good joke, Nick. Thank you. On the eve of the incident, Dixon had reportedly bragged on social media she was going to defile a house of God. It's going to be the name of a good strip club. The desecrated

altar, get this, Ellis, the desecrated altar was burned in the aftermath of Clark's demonic conduct, according to the Archbishop of New Orleans, and a new altar was consecrated by a priest blowing a Cub Scout.

In November 2020. Clark was ordained in 2013, was defrocked. That hurts. Ever been defrocked? Oh, God. They use a dull butter knife. Shortly after his arrest, he has paid restitution to the church in the amount of eight grand. I had to get that one in there.

Guys, Google the guy. Wait until you see his face. Oh, my God. It's like a young Fred Gwynn. God help us. And I mean that. No pun intended. We are in deep doo-doo.

Aren't we, though, Dallas? I mean, I'm going to do a story today about the medical school at University of Florida, just pushing, pushing wokeness before medicine, before people who, again, I've never been happy to be 60. I'm almost out of here. Your kids, you people who have young babies right now, good luck. Good luck when they, you know, they cut themselves and go to the emergency room. And they go, what's your religion?

How much is your parents' money? No, you get to the back of the fucking line. We have an Asian kid here with a paper cut. Anyways, what do you mean? I don't know. Shut up. It's a short week. I got to get out of here.

I got to go get, fucking. This was supposed to be done a week ago. I go, what did you guys do? Fucking look for a whale's tooth and file it down? And then he laughed like you did. I said, fuck off. I said, listen. I'll knock your teeth out. I like the guy. Black doctor.

He looks just like Tiger. He's got his mask on. Looks just like Tiger. He's kind of balding. He's got Tiger's eyes. Looks just like Tyga. He's kind of balding. He's got Tyga's eyes. I was going to go to a guy that looked like Mickelson, but he was a... I don't know what that means. Help me out, Dallas. Here you go.

Mercy laugh. Mercy laugh. Ha, ha, ha. I'm Gilligan. Anyways, let's go to a woman. I find a track. You know what's funny, Dallas? In my mind, I go, oh, she's an older woman

Fucking broad's probably younger than me, right? I see women like this now You know why? Because in here, I'm still fucking 20 I told you about my dad on his last legs In the nursing home with dementia and Alzheimer's And he couldn't really even form a sentence Until a young nurse walked in And and he looks at my mother,

and the nurse leaves, and he goes, nice, huh? To my mother. I told you guys, that's the last thing that goes on a guy. The rest of it's just burnt. The language lobe, the fucking feelings lobe, the pussy lobe, fresh, pink pink pulsating. Anyways, yeah, I like Carrie Lake. Anchor women are usually kind of hot.

Even Gutfeld, when we were talking about her on the show, he goes, there was a poll that didn't like it. He goes, just for her chiseled features you should like it. He goes, am I the only one? I'm sitting at home going, no. Anyways, you guys know about Maricopa County. And it took 13 days. And it's still a mess.

And I believe her. Of course, I read all the comments after on Twitter, a bunch of lefties. Fuck you. You lost. But the difference is, you know, like, they'll say, oh, you're just like Stacey Abrams. No, she has facts and shit.

An independent group did the investigation on machines weren't tabulating correctly, printers weren't working, all kinds of shit. She has, like, hard evidence, you know what I mean? As opposed to Stacey Abrams just going, no, it was fixed, with zero fucking evidence. And don't tell me in this day and age a black woman run for anything, they wouldn't do a thorough investigation if there was any nonsense going on.

But let's listen to my mistress. Hi, this is Carrie Lake. I have a message to the people of Arizona and all Americans. Forty days ago, elections in Arizona officially started when mail-in ballots were sent out across our state.

Election day was 13 days ago and Maricopa County is still counting ballots. Printer problems, tabulation errors, three-hour-long lines, and even longer. And confusing instructions given by election officials made this election day the most chaotic in Arizona's history. Half of voting centers that opened for the first time on election day,

where the overwhelming majority of voters were voting for kerry lake were not operational or had significant failures that's her would you get on an airplane if half of the engines didn't work would our friends in the media be able to broadcast their nightly propaganda if only half of their studio equipment was working the 2022 general election in arizona was botched and broken beyond repair thankfully the attorney general's office is demanding answers from maricopa county all right there you go if you vote for me all of your wildest dreams will come true that was her opponent, Pedro. But I believe it.

Maricopa County, Florida is twice, it's twice as populated as friggin' Arizona. I might have just made that up. I know it's close, or maybe even more. And they did it in a day. So don't tell me this is not fucking, or you're West Coast stupid. Like I said,

it's all kinds of shenanigans going the fuck on. Like I said, the 10 people in the room decided this country's going in the toilet. And this shit, when's it go time, Dallas? Fucking, I don't want violence, but what the fuck? How much more is the right going to take?

Throwing shit in your face. No wonder why it wasn't a red tsunami. Speaking of red salami, I'll give you a call later. What? Kill again, little buddy. I love you for helping me to construct of my life.

Construct of my life. Not a tavern, but a temple. What kind of shit is that? I love you because you have done so much to make me happy. Did you guys watch that movie? I don't know why I'm bringing it up. What was it called? I don't know.

The Chandelier? Whatever. Liberace fucking played by Michael Douglas and Matt Damon as his young boyfriend. I didn't know what to... It was like a two and a half hour SNL sketch. I wasn't supposed to be laughing. They're in bed and I'm fucking shitting my pants. Michael Douglas, like a macho guy and and i was fucking dying and it was kind of good well that was a decent movie but you could look at it two ways like this isn't fucking hilarious anyways they show like his bare ass he's walking on the back i'm fucking dying then oliver arch used to be lowered down with like angel wings i'm gonna do that when I do my show in Lowell, Arkansas. See if I don't get shot

out of the air. Or be lifted from the ground with devil's bat wings. Yeah, that would be good. That would be good too. Smoking a cigarette. That's all. Hey, Funny Bone, how are you? Flip it right into the fucking... Anyhow, I'm interested

to see how that turns out. I mean, November 8th, what are we today, the 23rd, 22nd? Two weeks ago? Still fucking, no, there's no... How many districts and counties in that country all done? And, yeah, no, nothing to see here. And an unrelated story, Kobe Bryant's daughter being stalked,

ladies and gentlemen. I personally, well, Kobe I liked. He grew on me, but he was a little cocky. L.A. late because I didn't like getting bit on the leg, and he had that shitty fucking cocky attitude. But then I found out he grew up like in Italy because his dad was in the military, and he speaks that shitty fucking cocky attitude. But then I found out he grew up like in Italy because his dad was in the military, and he speaks fluent Italian.

And, you know, so now I like him. That's called being shallow. Thank you. Grazie. Anyways, no doubt one of the best ever. No doubt. If I'm starting the NBA team, you guys know all this shit. But as far as the helicopter pilot, he ain't getting on my team.

No good. It's no good. He blew a 2.0 before he got behind that stick. Anyways, luckily, Natalia Bryant, one of the older daughters, look at Jesus Christ. Are you fucking kidding? That's like a, I mean, Liz Taylor eyes, my lips, Dallas's hair. For Christ's sake. Look at the, oh, God.

Don Lemon's earrings. You can't beat this. Natalia Bryant, the eldest daughter of the late Kobe Bryant. You remember he fell down a hill and a plane landed on him. Something like that. I don't remember. Filed for a temporary restraining order against that's right Will Chamberlain's kid Kevin Chamberlain big fucking black guy

good night restraining order against a man who she says stalked her in person and sent repeated messages to her on social media. No truth to the rumor. It's Marv Albert. I'm going to stab you through the heart with a fucking pencil. Do you understand me? Oh, that's the message that he left on a machine. In court documents filed in L.A. County Superior Court on Monday, the 19-year-old said a 32-year-old man named Dwayne Kemp.

Goddamn Kemp's a wild, whether it's Jack or Brian. Holy shit! Who does that look like? Oh, that's one of, that's you know who. Who's the black guy that used to do HBO Sports? Gumbel. Thank you. That's Jackoff. That's Brian

Gumbel's crazy brother. Fucking Lenny Gumbel. Anyways, Dwayne Gumbel's crazy brother, fucking Lenny Gumbel. Anyways, Dwayne Gumbel, that's him. He looked crazy. He does it, he does it. Jesus, he's got Woody Allen's glasses on, Mike Tyson's teeth, fucking Bill Cosby's nose. Kemp has left her fearing for her life.

You know, and this is kind of sad. I mean, no dad there. And you know, Kobe would fucking, first of all, make a call to fucking Brucie or Palermo and go, listen, fellas, remember I signed autographs for you guys after we beat France and whatever? Yeah, I need, send a couple of buttons over here. I do not feel safe, she told the court before adding,

she has never met Kemp, who believes the pair are dating. That happened to me once. I thought I was nuts. I thought I was dating, you know who? Ricky Lake. Not Carrie Lake, Ricky Lake. Brian accused Kemp of messaging her on social media since December 2020, regular. Brian accused Kemp of messaging her on social media since December 2020 as if we had a romantic relationship or as if he wanted to initiate such a relationship. Court docs obtained

by Fox show. The court docs allege that Kemp sent Brian a series of unsolicited messages. Well, you got to work it. Including one picture of her late father with the rest of the family. And this is what he puts. Thankful for him birthing you. Was Kobe a midwife or some shit? What the fuck does that mean? Did he have a triple-double? Hopefully we can birth him.

Nah. Kemp wrote as he shit in his own fucking bozo pajamas in the alleged mess. What? Yeah, creepy. Got that right. Oh my goodness gracious. Watch out because I'm... Cocoa pop, cocoa pop, cocoa pop, cocoa pop.

Look at him. He's scaring me. And he's not even trying to... Brian also said she received another message from him in October 2022 that read, I love you and I'm sorry. Can we talk and make up? You're fucking crazy. Again, question mark.

And you never know. You can't take chances. What was the actress's name? You were probably five in the 80s. Rebecca Schaefer. Some guy kept sending her mess. She was on some hit show. Doorbell rings one day and like West Hollywood

opens and a guy shoots her. So you never know. He looks insane. By the way, those are the glasses I got. I hope I don't look that crazy. Court documents allege that Kemp tried to find Bryant at her sorority house at the University of Southern California. Jesus Christ.

Kemp is described as one crazy N. That's probably some other crazy N. Kemp is described as a gun enthusiast and has been arrested for misdemeanors involving a firearm he's been arrested on at least four occasions yeah you gotta fucking don't you move you motherfucker blow your brains out what are you gonna do though you know it's very touch and go there you can't uh if granted the restraining order they're gonna come up with something else somebody's gonna put some more thought into this. Half of those ID shows I watch,

a guy's on a restraining order. As soon as he gets out, fucking walks over to the high end. Nothing. If granted the restraining order, Kemp would be ordered to remain a minimum of 200 yards away from her. Yeah, you could never shoot somebody from 200 yards.

The fuck? I got a slingshot that would I Believe it was called the wrist rocket. I Told that one Dallas right my paper boy was stealing our Christmas lights. Did I tell you that one and I broke the window? I guess I've told it sorry loving times on the show to every producer ever Billy bear cloud was the guy's name. Kid's name. If it hit him, it probably would have killed him, luckily. But I break my own window in my house.

Took off right up the street. My dad, I know he's coming home from work. I stayed at the park until 10 o'clock. Anyways, he's going to stay 200 yards away from her, as well as from her residence, her workplace, her sorority house, and her vehicle. I'm sure he'll do that.

What a silly, silly law. That guy should be beaten with a hose for a year. Hey, let me roast a buddy or say happy birthday to your mom through cameo. You know, it's a good Thanksgiving, Christmas gift. This is where I do start doing a lot of people, fans of mine, their friends like it. They go, hey, Billy would love a Nick to say his mother's a pig. Send it over. It's only $100.

Dallas has the link on the screen. Go there and you can see some of the cameos I've done and order one yourself. Or just go to Cameo and search my name, Todd McGillicuddy. Fuckface slash Myers. Anyways, the race to ruin medicine is the next story. The universe, again, this is a clear indication to me, because we are by far, as much as China, as far as people fly from all over the world

to come here for medical treatments, because we are second to none, and have been for a long time. So let's see how we can ruin that from the far left. And again, it's an act of people who hate this country. And the University of Florida, Bill Maher came out yesterday and said all the rot coming from the left is coming from academia. He's finally, again, coming around. Anyways, the Floridge College

of... Tap the brakes. Tap the brakes. Tap the brakes. I can put both feet on them. University of Florida College of Medicine incorporates aspects of critical race theory into

its admissions. How do... How do they... in there, these people that are doing this and fucking the system from the inside out? How do you get, how do you, who does the hiring? Is there anybody going, no, no, no, no, no. Doesn't seem it, does it, Dallas? Seems like it's already on the path to it.

Anyways, critical race, you know, they're using that as criteria, admissions and educational programs. According to a new report obtained by, exclusively by Fox News Digital, that is fucking frightening, man, because now you're talking about lives. Problem. And white lives. Problem. You fucking Dr. White, onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking ground.

I promise you. See those people right there? If I'm choosing anybody to operate on me, it's the guy on the left or right. No offense. Anyways. I don't want the fucking brochure for, you know, Boston General Hospital to look like fucking a community college brochure in Brooklyn.

The report from Do No Harm. Right away, we have, you guys know any time there's, the more innocuous the name, the more dangerous. A group of medical workers against divisive racial policies in medicine. Really? Now somebody should go, I want you to give me ten examples where minorities are being discriminated against. Well, they don't have their, they can't, they're insured. That's not it.

It's not intentional. Anyways, policies in medicine. Explain that the college uses equity initiatives. Equity, by the way, used to be equality. Now it's equity. They want a guaranteed outcome. Okay? Not just opportunity.

Guaranteed outcome. You know, the hospital has to be black and whatever. Initiatives to train a new generation of anti-racists. initiatives to train a new generation of anti-racist, implying everybody that's in medicine up to now is racist. How does this stand? How the fuck does this stand in medical fields? Two terms at the, that's great, right?

You fucking, you have a heart attack, they rush you to hospital, the surgeon's black, you know, big BLM looks at you, you're fucking pasty white. Two terms at the core of critical race theory. Those initiatives include active recruitment of underrepresented groups. I love that name. Underrepresented groups.

You mean groups that can't get out of their own fucking way for the last 200 years? Ooh, sorry to offend you. Suggested readings on diversity and equity for aspiring student and a code of ethics that explains how to address implicit bias. It's just so ridiculous. How about you fucking prove there's implicit bias first? Before we try to fix it.

How about that, Jim Jordan and the rest of you Republicans? The College of Medicine is indoctrinating its medical school graduates in divisive philosophies and other forms of social justice activism. The conditioning begins from the moment a prospective student begins exploring University of Florida, COM, continues through the admission process and persists throughout the doctoral program. Unbelievable. It's a cancer. It's already ingrained. New students encounter the diversity, equity, and inclusion doctrine early and often in the many interactions they have with numerous health equity offices.

Listen to this. I can't even. Listen to this gobbledygook. Health equity and diversity councils across campus. Not one mention of fucking biology. Unfucking real. Yeah, that's what I want. I'm going to go to the doctor because I have high cholesterol

and I want Shakira to give me a prescription that I can. I mean, I wouldn't mind Shakira giving me a prescription, just saying. Fuck her. All right, I picked a bad one. Fucking Lizzo. I don't want a...

I don't want a prostate exam from Lizzo. Even more so, I don't want to give her one. Couldn't find that asshole with a goddamn... If I had two pipe fitters her one. Couldn't find that asshole with a goddamn, if I had two pipe fitters with me. Anyways, blah, blah, said the report,

written by Laura Morgan, MSN registered nurse. The University of Florida invests abundant resources in these programs and retains administrators and faculty members who are paid to push these destructive ideas. Excellent. I'm hoping we haven't gone, I'm hoping anybody who wants to be a doctor goes, fuck that place, I'm not going there.

The webpage for the admissions office displays, listen to this, this is the admissions office for medical school at University of Florida, displays a photo of mass students kneeling, holding up a fist, and displaying a poster that reads, hashtag white coats for blacks. Are you fucking kidding me? Who said that? Dr.

Who the fuck said that? Dr. Joseph Mingala. Who's the slimy little commoner shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Look at these two dumb bitches. Nick, you shouldn't. I'm going to say it. Fuck them and fuck everything they stand for. Take those fists and put them up, you stretched out assholes. Oh, for the love of God.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm Bing Crosby. Oh, for the love of God. Happy Thanksgiving. I'm Bing Crosby. We strive for an admissions culture that is reflective, informed, and inclusive, dedicated to building diverse community. Fuck off.

I don't want to read anymore. Fuck off. Fuck you and fuck everything you believe in. Except for this paragraph. This Black Lives Matter declaration on the webpage links to resources for combating systemic racism, which includes a reading titled Guidelines for Being a Strong White Ally. What does that even fucking mean?

Hey, where are the white women at? They're in the operating room, letting another person die. Anyhow, let's move on speaking of health Jay Leno my buddy he's a good guy I like Jay

put me on a show twice Jay's a skin in the game as you know our buddy Jay Leno is on the mend ladies and gentlemen the former Tonight Show host

72 72 my god I watch him on Letterman in the fucking 80s. And I'm thinking he's old then, because I'm younger than, you know what I mean? I'm 12 years younger than him, and I'm watching him going, yeah, this is a guy that's a fucking baby then. Life is, it's, dude, it's so funny.

You grow up one, and you're like, oh, this guy's been around a long time. But he's not, like all of us. He did all that shit. I don't want to get philosophical, but as you get older, you can watch people's careers like famous people or athletes from beginning to and go, Jesus, that wasn't that long. Anyways, Jay 72 was discharged from the hospital Monday, Jay, 72, was discharged from the hospital Monday, looking happy and healthy as he posed for a photo with the staff from Grossman Burn Center. There they are. And I don't see a guy there.

What the fuck? There's no guy, Doc. Oh, my God. Look at Jay, though. He's happy. Some young snatch. Right? They're all pretty good, except for the one second in from the left. I think she got, she was Titans number six pick.

And then she didn't make the fucking cut. Anyways, after recovering from serious burns. After a 10-day stay at the facility, Jay will receive follow-up care at the University of Florida. Will he be put last in line? No. At the Grossman Outpatient Burn Clinic for burns to his, look at that. That's some serious shit. And it's on his chest, by the way.

And hands that he received, look at that. Ah. Fuck. I can't believe there's any worse way to let go. In hands he received during a fire at his home garage. That's called the first world problem. That's the car you almost lost your face over? Fucking Charles Dickens?

Wait a minute. They had horses back then. What am I saying? I don't even know what I'm talking about. Wouldn't that be fun though? To have that kind of dough? He's got like a fucking, he's literally got garages that are like, you know, five stories. I don't have any, well, guitar. I'll be smashing that soon if I see one more 12-year-old playing Nugent better than me. Anyways, he burnt his face working on that car, apparently. And that's got to sting, you know? Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Jay would like to let everyone know, except Conan O'Brien, how thankful he is for the care he received and is very appreciative of all the well-wishers.

He's looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with his family and friends and wishes everyone a wonderful holiday. That's Jay being burned. Dr. Peter Grossman. Wow, he got the actual guy the building's named after. That never happens, right? You go to Howard Johnson, you have a problem with the ice machine? Howard's not in the back. It's fucking,

fucking, you know who. Tiana Flutz and Bogenbach. Dr. Peter Grossman personally added that he was pleased with Leno's progress and was optimistic. They had to take seven pounds of skin from an elephant's ass just to cover his chin, they said. No, he was optimistic that the comedian would make a full recovery. In the photo, Leno's facial scars can be seen near his jawline,

which is quite a jawline, by the way, and on his neck. You ever see Louie on that show? There's a clip of him. Louie was on The Tonight Show with Jay, and I don't know who took the first shot. I think, oh, Louie was like smirking at him. Jay goes, what are you? He goes, you're the weirdest. Louie goes, you're the weirdest looking guy I've ever seen or something.

And Jay just came back like the killer that he is. Oh, really, bald, fat fucking. And it was on in a good way. Anyway, you see his left hand appears to be badly burned. While his right hand looks to be in better shape. Jesus Christ. That's gonna sting, no? Leno also underwent two grafting procedures to remove unhealthy tissue and promote, you

know, to promote healing. They had to take some of the dead shit off. The doctor came and said, are you ready for this? We're not gonna numb you up. Just bite this bullet. Oh, for Christ's sake. Jesus fucking Christ. Oh, we did, doctor.

Oh, boy, that stung. The Jay Leno's Garage host shared last week that he had been working on his 115-year-old car when a fuel leak they ran on fuel back then i thought it was like chicken shitting yeah horse dung uh a fuel leak and a simultaneous spark in the 1907 white steam car triggered uh and you got to be careful when you got the gas.

Holy shit, my fucking face. Oh, boy. Anyways, Jay, you've been a hero of mine for a long time, so get well. I'm sure you'll see this right after Rogan puts me back on. Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, guys and girls, make plans to come see me on the road. No trans. I don't want my show. You're gross. It's a joke, folks. I need the money. Everybody come in. I don't care if you've got a dick growing between your forehead and tits on the bottom of your feet. You're coming in having a drink. Here's where I'll be and when. The ladies room at Starbucks here in Savannah. I drilled a hole in the Panera Bread next door.

January 13th and 14th, comedy off-Broadway in Lexington, Kentucky. March 11th and 12th, the Comedy Club of Kansas City in Kansas City, Missouri. April 21, 22. That'll be baseball already. Can you imagine? Funny Bone in St. Louis and St. Charles, Missouri.

You can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com. Click on the goddamn tour button, and I will see you out there. Let's move on, shall we, as we wrap up the week before Thanksgiving. Viking porn. It was a rough go in Minnesota yesterday, meaning Sunday, as the Vikings got a good old-fashioned ass whooping handed to them by the Dallas Cowboys. I mean, they really, I had that one wrong. What's the idea? That's DeMarcus Ware hitting Cousins. Is there a DeMarcus Ware even playing anymore? Anyways, they lost to the Cowboys 40-3.

And if the spanking wasn't bad enough, the Minnesota Vikings accidentally showed some love to another man famous for his own kind of spankings. Who the fuck wrote this? In honor of our nation's brave military members, the Vikings requested that fans send in stories of their loved ones who are serving for a chance to win some tickets. And Kyle here shared a picture of his cousin Joel who serves in the Army. And they put it up on the jumbo screen with a tweet.

This is my cousin Joel who served in the Army. He has always been an inspiration and someone I look up to for his heroism. He is also a huge, all capital letters, Vike fan. However, that dude up there on the screen is not named Joel and he's not in the army. Great time to fucking pick a practical joke it's steven wolf that guy in the pictures that's steven wolf better known as johnny sims reminds me my uh porn name back in college i was uh peter self not good uh johnny sims a well-known american male porn star hound dog dog is going to eat that pussy.

That's what he said, and the crowd went wild. And despite being quite famous in his respective industry, there are plenty out there who have no idea who this guy is, like the Minnesota Vikings. So nobody on the Vikings media team clearly had any clue who Johnny Sims was. Well, he's not exactly a household name, is he? I mean, I keep tabs on his shit. He's no TT boy. And they shared the post on their Jumbotron during the game against the Dallas Cowboys. And they did that. Oh, my God. That's

hilarious. Tough scene out there in Minnesota, said Howard C cosell's ghost there right there the nine inch dick um why would you do that dude i mean it's a funny prank but don't do it to the vets do it when it's like fucking you know african-american or puerto rican night or i don't know i got a big laugh out of it. Any of us would have found it funny. Well, that's because you're into male porn. You like male gay porn and you're in the army. I find nothing funny about it.

Dallas had never a problem with it. So you know what? I would say that's fine. He's a military. Finally tonight, right? Yeah, we got to get going. I got to get to the dentist and see if they found this under the couch in the waiting room. Miami meet? What?

Miami Heat is back in the NBA headlines as the team isn't just struggling on the court, but is also down bad with their signings off the court. As Miami Heat's arena soon will be renamed as FTX has gone bankrupt. Did I read any of that right? That made no sense. Yeah? Okay. We don't have time.

Anyways, you know FTX, it's gone bankrupt. That was the sponsor of this building. And so they lost all their deals. The franchise after the bankruptcy news broke out. What the fuck? After the news broke out. Okay, you know what? That's why we have commas and shit.

Seriously. Sorry for reading right. Fucking idiots in this country. Bankruptcy news broke out, called off its agreement with FTX, a cryptocurrency exchange company. It was a 19-year deal worth $135 million. So Miami Heat is looking out for new partners

so they can rename their arena. And so far, some of the major names who have shown interest and publicly made an offer for the naming rights of the arena are very unreal. Early this month, when the news broke out, the porn site Bang Brothers approached the Miami Heat for the naming rights. Yeah, there's no money in porn, is there? With an offer of $10 million.

How many guys are yanking it today and around the clock? And had the plan to rename the place as Bang Brothers Center, BBC. Oh, I love it. It's very American. Your mom's a whore? Your mom's a whore? That'll be the new one. Now they have a competitor because Florida-based strip club, Booby Trap.

I've never been to the Booby Trap. Has also put out a good offer for the Heat to check on them. They want to get involved. So Florida, so Miami. Booby Trap owns a handful of strip clubs across Miami in nearby places. They have put out a $5 million worth of offer on the table to get the naming rights. They plan to rename the property as Booby Trap Arena, BTA. Owner Greg Berger, or Berger, wrote via Instagram DM that we are a staple in Miami,

and we think the fans would be behind the idea. You get it? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! And there's the new logo. A three-pointer.

From downtown. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. Again, thank you so much for a great couple days. Thanksgiving. Don't forget to watch the show tomorrow. A.J. Rice got a great book, The Woking Dead. I interviewed him for a long time,

and it's worth watching because he's very energetic, funny. It's very rare that I can't fucking, you know, throw zingers in, but I think he knew that. He was blocking me out. But it's a great book. I suggest you get it.

That's it, right? Okay. You guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. See you back here on next coming Monday. So have a great turkey day, and we'll see you then. Take care.

Hi. Good night, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music