The Nick DiPaolo Show - Michelle, Spare us the Lecture | Nick Di Paolo Show #447

Episode Date: November 18, 2020

Michelle mocks Trump on Instagram. Josh Hawley harangues Zuckerburg over Facebook. PA tosses out Trump's case.

Hey guys, this Saturday night, November 21st, I'll be performing at the Plaza Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, and you can watch it live wherever you are. I'm bringing in a crew to live stream the show. You'll be able to watch it right along with the audience in the showroom on Roku, Apple TV, Amazon TV, or you can watch it on your computer. So you're gonna get the live experience

without leaving your house. Get tickets to the stream on my website at nickdip.com and make plans to see me live this Saturday night from Las Vegas. Can't wait. guitar solo All righty. Oh, yeah. It's that time again. Welcome to the show, folks. Wednesday, whatever. November 73rd. And how y'all doing?

All right. What do I want to talk about? I don't know. Recounting stuff going on and lots of stuff going on. You know what I'm saying? Mr. DePaulo, no one can be as nasty as as you pretend to be unless they they really wanted to be disliked sound like my parents that's faggot stuff you want to call by its name that's strictly for fags

candace owens i you know you guys get these things, these, obviously, if you ever send money to a politician, you get bombarded for the rest of your life with, you know, asking for donations. Donations. That's a situation. Candace Owens sent one. There she is. What a piece of ass. And very, very smart. I wore that same shirt to my senior prom, by the way,

and that's when you could show nipples and nobody get upset back in the day. And I had that same haircut. I was in a band for a couple weeks called the Shit Stains. Anyways, Candace Owen sent out this thing. I get a million of these a day, obviously, but this one sort of gave an update as to what's going on with the recount. She said that President Trump just tweeted out a bombshell new report confirming that the voting machine software used in most swing states, Dominion voting systems, rigged the 2020 election.

The president's report reads, Dominion deleted two point seven million Trump votes nationwide. That's a son of a whore. Data analysis finds two hundred and twenty one thousand Pennsylvania votes switched from President Trump to Biden. Danger, Will Robinson. Danger. No, Will Robinson. Danger. 941,000 Trump votes deleted. Mr. Official, let me ask you something. Go ahead. How can six of you miss a play like that?

941,000. They can't be making these up, you people who are looking for evidence and shit. You can't just pull members out of a hat like that. Even if it's not enough to cover Trump to win, even if it's not, you guys get caught fucking robbing is what you did. Again, even if it's not enough. But I tend to believe Sidney Powell, the lawyer with the bubbage, smart lady, North Carolina. I tend to believe she said he won in a landslide by millions of, you know, I got to believe that. Where's the evidence? What do you want us to do? They're putting the case together as we speak. I mean, if these numbers are even

half right, almost a million votes deleted. Do you know what this does to people? Do you really want to vote next time? I mean, I used to joke around. Brett Butler, remember the comedian Brett Butler? She said to me in the 90s, I remember we were having dinner at Trader Joe's, a Trader Vic's in

LA. We were talking about an election coming up and I said, yeah, I'm going to vote. And he goes, isn't he cute? He thinks his vote still matters. And God damn it, she looked like she's right. It really is a filthy thing that needs to be fixed. States using Dominion voting systems switched 435,000 votes from Trump to Biden.

Is this all true? I bet it is. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. So does that not raise any eyebrows? Are you still going to go, oh, I was on, I had to do like nine radio spots today. They pat you into a radio guy, a director, and he sent you to, but you spend about five minutes with each station all over the country. And the one in Albany, there's a guy up there, a left winger, but I think he's older.

He's kind of a hippie buggin'. And he starts with the, oh, dog whistle and Trump's undermining democracy. And I just started screaming. And we all had a nice belly laugh at the end, but can you imagine being that fucking retarded anyways so so the corruption keeps going on from the left and why would you doubt this for a second after what they did to him the last four years why would you doubt do you understand they will do

anything anything to uh gain power pennsylvania supreme court rejects Trump yesterday in a 5-2 decision. Somebody had a triple-double and Trump fouled out. Three minutes in, caught some bitch with an elbow up in that one. 5-2 decision. The court overturned a lower court decision that ordered monitors with President Donald Trump's campaign be allowed within six feet of tables where ballots were being tallied so they rejected that that sentence didn't make any fucking sense in its opinion remember uh opinions are like um tits nobody has them what who the fuck

in its opinion the supreme court found that the Philadelphia Board of Elections complied with requirements for observers' access from the moment the first votes were counted. We conclude the board did not act contrary to the law in fashioning its regulations governing the positioning of candidate representatives justice deborah todd seen here a young john madden who would have guessed another unattractive woman going against trump first of all so you're saying they didn't violate really did you know some of them were and i'm not making this up some of them were asked to stand 50 feet away, and then they finally got permission to move up,

and they let them come within six feet. You still can't read a ballot from six feet. But you're all right with that, shemp? You fucking dog-faced pony, you. Deborah Todd wrote for the majority, critically, we find the board's regulations were reasonable, said is that right you big face a little whore and a little piece of trash she was never a little whore she always looked like john beiner do you guys understand we have uh people sign affidavits some places they had to fight to get in.

This is a stolen election. If you don't believe it, kiss my grits. Sorry for the strong language, but Miss Todd, you're a lying motherfucker. We see nothing wrong that we made them stand 40 feet away with blindfolds on and they fucking balls in a vice if they said anything. This is absolute highway robbery. I'm not going to stand for it.

I have to move again. Chief Justice Thomas Saylor and Chief Justice Sally Updike, Mundy, they dissented. Somebody has some balls finally. The ruling came even as Trump campaign attorneys were pressing the issue in a federal court in Williamsport where a bunch of Little Leaguers were apparently accounting the votes. The Taiwanese team had asking a judge to borrow the state

from certifying the vote based in part on the limited access they claimed voting counting observers had in Philadelphia and Allegheny counties. Trump observers complained that in Philadelphia they were originally positioned between 13 and up to 100 feet away from counting tables and therefore couldn't meaningfully see ballots

as they were counted. Now, are you going to tell me these people are lying? There's cameras all over those places. So I'm sure we can look at the footage and find out if they're lying or not. Lawyers for the city, Shitty City, argued that despite claims for the city, shitty city, argue that despite claims to the contrary, GOP monitors were allowed in the room from the start

and were subject to the same restrictions also applied to Democrat monitors. Yeah, 100 feet away. The Democrat monitors don't have to see anything. They know the shit's going down. How stupid you think we are state law only requires that monitors be allowed in the counter rooms they said it makes no mention of how close counters must be allowed to observe what what that wasn't written to cheat what's the point of being in the room if you can't be close enough to read the fucking ballot and what's going on? Does something smell like cat shit in here? Is it me?

Rawr. These fuckers are stealing the election. You're entitled to shit. Exactly. So you're allowed in the room. But we're going to make the Democrats too stay 50 feet away. Well, they ran on the scam. They don't have to see you.

I'm very upset. Do I have to drive down there and tan somebody's bottom? As my father would say, I'm going to give you something to cry about. Counting votes. My dad passed away this summer. bet you no he's a republican i was gonna say he probably voted anybody did those figures i just mentioned to you from candace owen i mean can't that would be very easy to find out of trump the trump people were lying would it

are they just pulling those numbers out of their ass? The answer would be no, Senator. I don't recall, Senator. I had some stock in AT&T and here's another reason. Here's a story that backs up why everybody knows. These things have been used for years, by the way. What a filthy, and you thought we were. I knew this. Look, I know all governments are a little bit corrupt, but this is Banana Republic fucking dog shit. Edward Snowden, remember him? Eddie Snowden, tight end for the Rams in the 70s?

He put a video up, how easy it is to hack a voting machine. This isn't him in the video, right, Jace? It's some other kid. Snowden must have directed it, I guess. He's the directest cut. But I love how he goes, it's so easy to hack.

I can't even open my own email, but this guy's hacking voting machines. So it's not that easy for everybody, Eddie. So he put up a video showing uh just how easy it's step by step where is he right now is he still living in yeah somewhere in russia is he still in the embassy somewhere or whatever you sure he's got he's wanted he's aitive. And he's still putting out more videos than me for Christ's sake. I'm free and an entertainer. Let me talk to his manager. Saul Lebowitz. Saul. He went to the University of Michigan. I think he actually went there, did he?

I don't know if he's alumni or not. But he went to the University of Michigan, and he goes there and poses a question. You know, what's the better school, Ohio State or Michigan? And, of course, everybody there votes and says Michigan. And he uses that as a pretext to showing you how to hack a computer during an election. Go ahead. Who are you going to vote for? 100% Michigan. 100% Michigan.

Obviously Michigan. Michigan. Michigan. But here's a little secret between you and me. I've already hacked these worthless machines. Step one, buy a voting machine on eBay. Or, if you're the North Koreans, hack the manufacturer and steal their software code. Step two, fight a virus.

Step three, email your virus to every election official responsible for programming the voting machines with new ballots. Many of these officials are easy to find online. Oh my god. Step 4. Sip coffee and wait. I can do that part. Step 5. Hijack the ballot programming and let the election officials copy your invisible malicious code onto the voting machines. Step six, watch your code silently steal votes. Oh, my God.

Again, not easy for me or you, but anybody with a little bit of computer talent. That easy, huh? I like how he mentions the North Koreans. That was a good zing zanger. Is he doing the voiceover? No, it's probably this kid. So that was the first clip, right? Now at the end, he's going to tally up the votes. And this is funny. In a real election, an official could quickly scan these paper ballots and shortly after have a human verify the results. Paper plus audits. All elections should be run this way.

But if you don't want to believe me, or every single expert in cybersecurity who's thought this through, then take it from this guy. It's old-fashioned, but it's always good to have a paper backup system of voting. It's always good to have a paper backup system of voting. It's called paper. It's called paper. You should always have a backup with paper. I feel that way about public men's room stalls. That's not a good feeling, is it?

You drop a dose and then the fucking roll is empty. You have to ask the congressman who's getting blown by a twink. Oh my God. So it's that easy, huh? And, uh, oh boy.

Why is everyone so fucking stupid? Why aren't more people interrogating like me? I don't know. I don't care. So it's that easy. And we're supposed to believe that shit didn't go on. Please. Please, please, please.

And you know who had to weigh in on it? Of course, the outside linebacker for the Denver Broncos, Michelle Obama. Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich. Yeah, and then clean my closet. I can't stand this woman because like I said, she hates white people so goddamn much with that phony shit smile. Nice do. Looked like Sinbad in a movie in the late 70s, Jerry Curl. She is awful. And there's only two things.

She's either really dumb, which I don't think she is, or she's that biased and will do anything but power like any former first man michelle obama took to instagram to slam president trump for not conceding to joe biden to bring about a peaceful transfer of power while saying that it was difficult to transfer power to trump because he spread racist lies about my husband is what she said. Liar, liar, whore, liar, whore, you know it. She's still blaming him for the birtherism thing, which was Hillary Clinton's campaign that started that shit. All of us just picked up on it. I still don't believe he was born in Hawaii.

How about that? How about it, huh? Oh, that hairdo is making me queasy. in Hawaii. How about that? How about it, huh? Oh, that hairdo is making me queasy. Donald Trump, listen to this. Now, keep in mind this, now we have evidence that

he spied on Trump during the transition, which is the biggest political scandal in the history of this country. And we don't even talk about it. There's so much shit going on in this country in the last five years. We take giant stories like Russiagate, him spying on Trump,

and we just put them aside because there's another one coming down. Look over here. Look over here. Donald Trump, she says, I'm quoting Michelle, had spread racist lies about my husband that had put my family in danger yeah i bet there

are a lot of people uh giving you shit on moth is vineyard all those white zillionaires i mean but you know what we know a little something uh about michelle there's one thing about her we do know hates jews hates jews obama wrote on the social media site, she says, That wasn't something I was ready to forgive. But I knew that for the sake of our country, I had to find the strength and maturity to put my anger aside. My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Yeah, it is. Tell it to your face. This week, I've been reflecting a lot, she said, on where I was four years ago, Michelle wrote.

And she said, I was bench pressing in the gym with a couple of the other Redskins when Hillary Clinton had just been dealt a tough loss by a far closer margin than the one we've seen this year. Yes, because you stole it. Oh, I want to reach in there and just fucking... I like the husband more than I like her, I think. Nick, that's horrible. She was a terrific first lady. She's a first-string fullback.

Shut your piehole. She says, I was hurt and disappointed, but the votes have been counted, and Donald Trump had won. Listen to this. The American people had spoken, Obama wrote, and one of the greatest responsibilities of the presidency is to listen when they do. So my husband and I instructed our staffs to tap his phones, put cameras everywhere, and spy on the motherfucker because he's a blonde-haired, blue-eyed devil. We don't trust the motherfucker. So she says, me and my husband instructed our staffs to do what George and Laura Bush

had done for us, run a respectful, seamless transition of power. One of the hallmarks of American democracy. You don't even like democracy. You want a socialist shithole. How many goddamn lies are you going to tell? We invited the folks from the president-elect's team into our offices and prepared detailed memos for them, offering what we'd learned over the past eight years. And what did you learn, Michelle? Huh? Nobody cares. Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up? learned over the past eight years and what did you learn michelle huh nobody cares remember when her husband got elected the first time she goes i can finally be proud of my country that's all you need to know about her i've hated her ever since moth is vineyard telling you that

you're racist that this this country's a... Remember last week she said you've never heard the N-word? Neither of you. You can't hear me from here. I'm kidding. I would never say that. It's so evil. It's like whopping giddy.

It sets me off. Can you imagine the gall? This is after Russiagate. All this shit. She laid in bed with her husband, pretending to be the wife. He's pretending to be her husband when we both know they play the other fucking team very well. She says, I have to be honest and say that none of this was easy for me. Obama wrote, our love of country requires us to respect the results of an election,

even when we don't like them or wish it had gone differently. The presidency doesn't belong to any one individual or any one party, she wrote. To pretend that it does, to play along with these groundless conspiracy theories, whether for personal or political gain, is to put our country's health and security in danger. This isn't a game,

she said. Stop! Thank you. Oh, you're such a, you're such a fan of this country. Oh, my aching stem. Smooth transition? I hope his chief of staff trumps his setting up cameras now. You don't even have to.

Biden's so retarded, you could just look in the window and record him. Won't even know. Can you imagine having the gall to come out and lecture us? So tired of hearing how racist this country is and shit. Your husband got eight years. You know what? Proves everything that comes out of your mouth is a rabbit turd. I'm tired. Where'd you get that ring? You steal it? Nick, that's uncalled for. for okay i'll tell you who i like

senator holly i want to say missouri i don't know midwest dude this guy breathes fire must have been a hell of a lawyer well anyways yesterday he had jack dorsey and zuckerberg's nuts on a grill. And it's funny because I had seen him on Tucker Carlson for the last couple of months, promising that he was going to go after big tech and stuff because you could tell he was fucking furious. So he had them, you know, testify again in front of a panel, which again, it's really fruitless because I'll remind you again, Zuckerberg, Dorsey, all these big tech guys flood Washington, the swamp with money.

You know, half the Republicans are in on it. They don't want to change anything. But this guy is not. This guy is fucking naive enough to think he's going to change it. But anyways, I like him. He's got a lot of spunk. At least he's making a goddamn effort. Let's take a look at him grilling. I think it was, I don't know, Zuckerberg first.

Well, Zuckerberg's got a beautiful haircut, by the way. Several references to election integrity throughout on these lists of tasks. Again, this is shared across Facebook sites, company locations, by working groups. sites, company locations, by working groups. What particularly intrigued me is that the platform reflects censorship input from Google and Twitter as well. So Facebook, as I understand it, Facebook censorship teams communicate with their counterparts at Twitter and Google and then enter those companies' suggestions for censorship onto the task platform. that task platform is a thing that they share okay you're not supposed to be you're not supposed to be using a platform where you get an input from other well how much more evidence do you fucking need to know um and it let it let it

lets facebook employees know what's going on go ahead he'll explain facebook can then follow up with them and effectively coordinate their censorship efforts. Mr. Zuckerberg, let me just ask you. Where'd you get that haircut? Under oath now. Does Facebook coordinate its content moderation policies or efforts in any way with Google or Twitter? Watch him dance. Senator, let me be clear about this.

him dance senator let me be clear about this uh we we do coordinate on and share signals on security related topics uh so for example if there is um signal around a terrorist attack or around child exploitation imagery or paulo puts a tweet up. Around a foreign government creating an influence operation. Stephen Crow. That is an area where the companies do share signals about what they see. But I think it's important to be very clear that that is distinct from the content moderation policies that we or the other companies have. that we or the other companies have, where once we share intelligence or signals between the companies, each company makes its own assessment of the right way to address and deal with that information. Well, I'm talking about content moderation. I'm talking about individuals, websites, hashtags, phrases to ban. Is it your testimony that you do not communicate with Twitter or Google about content moderation,

about individuals, websites, phrases, hashtags to ban? Just yes or no. Do you communicate with Twitter or Google about coordinating your policies in this way? Dan. Senator, we do not coordinate our policies. Do your Facebook content moderation teams communicate with their counterparts at Twitter or Google? Don't answer that. Senator, I'm not aware of anything specific, but I think it would be probably pretty normal for people to talk to their peers and colleagues in the industry. It would be normal, but you don't do it? No, I'm saying that I'm not aware of any particular conversation, but I would expect that some level of communication probably happens. But that's different from coordinating what our policies are or our responses in specific instances. Well, fortunately, I understand that the task platform is searchable.

So will you provide a list of every mention of Google or Twitter from the task platform to this committee? Senator, that's something that I can follow up with you and your team after. Yes or no, I'm sure you can follow up with the list, but why don't you commit while I've got you here under oath. It's so much better to do this under oath. Will you commit now to providing a list from the tasks platform of every mention of Google or Twitter. Senator, respectfully, I'm without having looked into this, I'm not aware of any sensitivity that might exist around that. So I don't think it would be wise for me to commit to that right now. So that's enough. How many items on the task platform reflect that Facebook, Twitter and Google are sharing information about websites or hashtags or platforms that they want to suppress?

Senator, I do not know. Will you provide a list of every website and hashtag that Facebook content moderation teams have discussed banning on the task platform? Senator, again, I would be happy to follow up with you or your team moderation teams have discussed banning on the task platform. Senator, again, I would be happy to follow up with you or your team to discuss further how we might move forward on that. Will you commit to it here? Senator Cruz and Senator Lee both asked you for lists of individuals, websites, entities that have been subject to content moderation. You expressed doubt about whether any such information exists, but you've also now said that the task website, you've acknowledged the task platform exists, that it is searchable. So will you commit to providing the information you have logged on

the task website about content moderation that your company has undertaken? Yes or no? Senator, I think it would be better to follow up once I've had a chance to discuss with my team what any sensitivity around that would be that that might prevent the kind of sharing that you're talking about. But once I've done that, I would be happy to follow up. All right. So you won't you won't commit to do it here. We could, of course, subpoena this information, but I'd much rather get it from you voluntarily. subpoena this information, but I'd much rather get it from you voluntarily. But I think, let everybody take note that Mr. Zuckerberg has now repeatedly refused to provide information that he knows that he has and has now acknowledged that he has, that tasks has undergone. Oh, if I was Zuckerberg, every question I'd just want. I don't know nothing about that.

That's all you got to do. one i don't know nothing about that that's all you gotta do uh he said uh me and my father and uh what do you call it myspace yeah yeah and uh yeah sure sure i say a lot of bad shit about uh jack dorsey yeah sure i love it how he, that's lawyer shit. You know, this guy's a pit bull, man. I really think you'll see him. But they admitted they have a platform where they share shit. And I love how he said, but do you go after individuals and hash? Of course.

And it's all searchable. Like he said, he admitted to that, but then he says, no, I'm not going to hand over a list to you. Let's talk about it a couple of weeks when i'm not under oath i'll have you over to play fucking ski ball in my basement i mean come on did he not just get grilled do we have dorsey too or is that it i just gave a zuckerberg dorsey with his i actually like dorsey's beard doesn't look like a gay guy with that beard he looks more like a bass player for the fucking whoever's um anyway i thought that

was very interesting because he went after dorsey too and um just the arrogance how old is zuckerberg christ in his 30s multi-trillionaire but the point of it was that they talked to each other he admitted that much you know they didn't even bring up instagram which is facebook owned anyways you get the point there's a power grab right now folks you know that they're using covid as a pretext to steal this fucking election it's been in the fucking works for a long time and um big tech is in on it the reset button's already been hit that's why they're showing you the covid map it's worse than ever and they're laying down more regulations on restaurants and bars. California, this guy, he's got curfews going on.

And you know what it does? It crushes all these small businesses. They already hit the reset button. They want all of us on the dole eventually. I really believe this is the first of many steps. Unless Trump polls went out of his wazoo. Who's going to put a stop to it but uh zuckerberg how dare you you're a real crumbum i don't know nothing about that if that's not bad enough uh my producer jason is thinking about joining a group called Antifa Youth Liberation.

Anytime you hear liberation, it usually involves machine guns and young kids. A group aligned with a radical left-wing group, Antifa, sent a tweet Sunday in which it appeared to praise an alleged arson attempt, that would be arson attempt, at a law enforcement officer's home. Do you believe this, Shat? The group Pacific Northwest Youth Liberation Front, or fucking pussies for short, included an article on how federal law enforcement agencies were investigating the incident, which law enforcement said might be linked to recent protests in Portland. Well, you got a fucking, you got a left-wing radical for a

goddamn mayor. According to public broadcasting, the Washington County Sheriff's Office has already claimed the incident was arson. And this is what these jerk-offs say that belong to the liberation front these kids this is so cool the group the group tweeted along with the article this is so cool we're gonna burn down a cop's house we had all all this personal information isn't that fucking cool aren't we cool oh help me, help me, help me, boy. So when they were contacted by Fox News, who I'm not going to be watching much longer, Twitter did not immediately say whether the post violated its policies. Can you imagine?

I put up a tweet, you know, saying, hey, this COVID is bullshit. They'll yank that down. But, you know, I believe in free, free speech. Even if it's threats and shit, let it fly. A law enforcement officially reportedly said that there was a concern in this case that the officer was surveilled. Here's where it gets creepy and followed home. Here's where you start. You know, I mean, Sunday's tweet came after months of protests in cities like portland oregon seattle with some destroyed and defaced property the pny that is the pussy northwest youth liberation front described itself as a decentralized network of autonomous youth collectives

they've taken the shit right out of Stalin's handbook. Apparently stating its goal, the group says, direct actions towards total liberation. That's what they said. What are you liberating yourself from? Do you guys even fucking know? You listening? Yeah.

Your mother sucks fucking big fucking elephant dicks you got that that was senator holly tapping the phone of the liberation fronts uh to all the people on the streets and this is the punks speaking again to all the people on the streets who call themselves peaceful protesters i don't know where you've been for the past four plus years, but being peaceful doesn't stop the police. How do I know this? This jerk says the account tweeted to some. He says, because people have been doing this for years before you hopped on the protest trend.

Yeah. So we've allowed it. And then you start a break in and looting and shit. See, the group wrote similar posts on its account. They've said we've stood in the streets, hands up, nonviolent. No, you haven't. And time and time again, brutalized, shot with chemical weapons and arrested. You're full of fucking shit.

You're full of shit. That happened to you after you started committing violent acts. Everybody knows it. I don't know who the fuck you think it is. He's lying. He is lying. You snotty little bastard. Youth Liberation Front added in another tweet,

there's a simple reason why you haven't experienced intense police brutality yet it's called public fucking relations they said the pigs that means cops wow 1968 are in a pr battle so they say there's a a difference from peaceful and violent protests the group added in another post when in fact what we are fighting is the ultimate form of violence making any and all resistance uh self and community defense what the fuck does that even mean i think your brain is going soft in other words let us do whatever we want they even say these far left people that when you don't speak up when you're on the right that's your silence is considered violence you believe that shit only time i believe that's when i'm gonna fight my wife and she doesn't say anything for like a couple hours then you're like holy shit i think she's planning violence

i so you see how fucking deluded they are? What he just said? We stand in the row with our hands up and shit. We don't do anything and we're getting hit by cops and you haven't seen it yet. These jerk-offs, why don't you get on the internet? And I dig up a few

protests in, I don't know, Tehran. Even in Israel or the Chinese. Beijing Square, wherever it was, remember? Check out how the Chinese handle you people. Put you in a camp. Nick, are you actually saying it for the way the Chinese handle?

Yeah, when it comes to this shit, I think they got right on the money. What do you mean? You know what I'm talking about. Fire hoses that'll knock you on your ass and then you disappear some things they have right but that's about it like i said covid is the only thing that was made in china that didn't break after a week and uh it's a good joke anyways folks this is a big goddamn day last night we launched thecomicsgym.com i want to thank those of you who joined the site for free already if you haven't checked that out

already please do that again that's thecomicsgym.com as you know this saturday i'll be at the plaza hotel and casino in vegas and i am live streaming the show. You can experience it live on your computer, Roku, Apple TV, Android TV, or Amazon Fire TV, or a Zenith 15-inch black and white TV. And if you can't watch it live, okay, get the stream anyways, because I'm going to leave it up there for a week. You can view it up to seven days after. Okay? This is this Saturday night. I can't believe it's here. We were talking about it months ago.

To get tickets for the stream, go to nickdip.com. I am really looking forward to this. And that's saying something because I don't look forward to anything. Maybe a slice of pizza sometimes, grabbing some side tits at the beach. Other than that, anyway. And lastly, I want to thank all of you who have contributed to the show. As you know, your contributions keep us going.

Please keep supporting me, and I'll keep doing what I do. Thank you guys so very much, and tune in to that thing, will you? And go to thecomicsgym.com. Speaking of thank yous, I'd like to thank you so much. Dennis Salazar of New Mexico and Craig Goodmanson of Washington. You two guys both contributed on the comics gym already.

Thank you so much for finding the new platform. Spread the word. I'd like to thank one-time contributions as they're using Dennis Salazar, New Mexico, Craig Goodman's in Washington, Joe Lulich, Australia, a cock, a doodle-doo, New York, Lane Attebury, Texas, Tim Herscheid, who's been with me forever, Ohio, Thomas Lent, New York, and new monthly Patreon contributions, Rodney D. Witten and Rob Nugent. Ooh, I'll tell you.

I'll tell you, I was watching Rodney clips last night when he was on with Johnny. Oh, my God. I'll tell you. I got to respect it all. Yeah. I've got a very ugly daughter. She's happy. She married a very ugly guy.

Today, they've got two very ugly kids. In fact, they're all so ugly in a family album, they only keep the negatives. My wife can't cook. Last summer, the flies chipped in to fix the screen door. We pray after we eat. Rodney. Johnny couldn't even keep up with them.

They're good old days hey uh anybody else find russian chicks smoking hot not all of them obviously you got the you got the ones with the bandanas on the head and ankles like boog powell forearms like fucking you know whoever uh anyways why am i bringing up that did you see this uh i'm gonna get off the politics a little bit and although this isn't related covid related there's an ex-russian beauty queen what's her name olga kaliskaya hello hello hello hello Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello? She looks like Michelle Pfeiffer. Does she not? Who would want to assassinate me?

I don't know, maybe the catcher on your little league team. Look at this and look at that and look at this and look at that. Look at you. Then look at me. Then look at you. Then look at me. What's that from anyway? Olga Kargalskaya, she's 37.

What the fuck? She looks like she's 14. Who was Miss Samara in 2005, went to the morgue in the city of Samara where workers tried to prevent her from seeing how many bodies in black bags were strewn about the facility. So she called Andrew Cuomo and he said,

they're doing the right thing, bitch. You stay away from there. Anyways, East to West News reported. What the hell is that? East to, get it? East to West. What are they, black rappers writing this shit? Undeterred, she decided to show the scale of the pandemic

by recording the disturbing scene on video. She was told there's like seven dead bodies in Samara or whatever. She wanted, being the investigative reporter and piece of, who's going to not let her in? You know, she just went, hey, come on. I got something for you. And take a look, though. Look at all the body bags and shit.

This is so Russia. I'll add the music. Samara. Samara. Official statistics, we have seven dead. Samara is here. More than seven. Look at that. It looks like every sidewalk in New York City. Let's see that again in slow motion. Why didn't she show her face?

Samara. Give me Samara information. Very embarrassed. You know why she didn't show her face? В Самаре здесь больше, чем все. But here is something that might be of interest to you. A transcript of the conversation between your helicopter pilot and his commander. We intercept Dragonfly Wolf 10. Colorful names. Here we are. We have them in sight. And the reply, abort the operation immediately.

That was her boss at the station. Abort the operation immediately. Colorful names. Kagla Skaja claimed the morgue workers later fessed up that there were more. See how she got the truth out of him? Any girl that, you know, the 12, can you get any guy to admit anything? Yes, they have a few kids buried under the house. What about it?

She got the morgue workers to fess up. There were more than 50 bodies of coronavirus victims there during her visit. She talked about her dad dying, right? He fell ill at work performing his duty, she said about her dad dying, right? He fell ill at work performing his duty, she said about her dad, adding that the military doctor was forced to wait for two days for an ambulance to carry him to the hospital

where he must have the same insurance as me, where he had worked for 23 years. He died more than two weeks after being hooked up to a ventilator. I wonder if we sent that one. Is she blaming Trump? He's gone. And we couldn't do nothing about it.

Who complained that officials are trying to deny that the deaths of health care workers were due to the bug in efforts to avoid making compensation payments. They don't want to pay these first responders, as we call them. Is everybody just, and including the United States. I know we lied to, but at least, and including the United States, I know we lie too, but at least we try to fucking hide it. They don't give a rat's ass. And what are you doing? Why are you doing dangerous work like this? You should be selling, I don't know, panties and things like that. Nick, that's sexist. She claimed that the morgue workers told her the death certificates of health workers also have been falsified. Hey, that's sexist. She claimed that the morgue workers told her the death certificates of health workers also have been falsified.

Hey, that sounds familiar. All this is done so as not to pay compensation to the families of medical workers who died performing their duty, she added. They don't want to pay the people. We pay our first responders. And remember, we protect them. Remember that we gave them trash bags to wear at one hospital in Queens. The former beauty Queens allegations of cover up are echoed by Alexei Roshka, 42, a former demographic forecaster at Russia's Federal Statistics Service, who recently quit after accusing officials of manipulating COVID-19 data. They're doing the same shit here.

Remember I told you? Doctors were told to write COVID. Hospitals were getting more money. On Sunday, Russia announced a daily toll of 352 deaths. But Roshka believes the actual daily death toll is between 2,400 and 2,800 and accused the authorities of twisting statistics. Show that things were way better than they actually were. And that's what Russia does.

Oh, commie, commie. Commie dog shit. What exactly leads you to believe the Soviets were involved? I don't know. Her name? It has a story that has nothing to do with politics, but it just made me horny reading it. Star Soul Cycle Instructor.

You know the Soul Cycle? That's where you go ride a bike. I don't get it. You ride stationary bikes together in a room? And by the way, when you do that, folks, you know what you do when you're working from the waist down? That's why you get swamp ass when you get off the seat and you fucking up a torso while it's a little

wet. I had a dream. I had a dream that I died and was reincarnated. I came back as a star soul cycle bike seat. Excuse me, that slipped out. The popular spin studio chain, this is kind of a long story, but interesting, allegedly brushed under the rug complaints about their top talent. Talk about them like they're football players, who are referred to as master instructors. Well, that might

be the first problem because they were considered moneymakers and caught of the company's cult following. They have a cult following, but that's all about the greenery. Give me the money. Give me the fucking money. You hear me? You hear me? I got to come here and bust my body. Give me the fucking money.

SoulCycle kind of turned the cheek on a lot of stuff as long as they were making money. Clan Jennifer Brody, who was a studio manager at California's Palo Alto location. Brody, who is a black woman, uh-oh, let me guess, racism, recalled an encounter with one of the master instructors, Connor Kelly, seen here. Look at this pussy hound.

After taking his class, she changed and put on a bandana on her head, to which Kelly laughed and allegedly said, whoa, Aunt Jemima. Big fucking deal. And she said that he felt okay calling me Aunt Jemima in the middle of a studio lobby in Palo Alto,

so he could have got away with it in Brooklyn. Was disgusting. She also added this. What folks says about this family, I does. I has told you and told you that you can always tell a lady, but the way that she eat in front of folks like a bird. And I ain't aiming for you to go to Mr. John Wilkinson and eat like a field hand and gobble like a hog.

That's what that girl did to him. Gobbled like a hog. Gobbled like a hog. That's what that girl did to him. Gobbled like a hog. Brody said she told other colleagues about the remark, but ultimately never reported it since she believed there wasn't anyone who would have cared. In other words, it's all racism.

Kelly was also the subject of complaints about allegedly the guy having sex with clients while teaching at the Greenwich, Connecticut location. Well, why wouldn't you? I don't get it. while teaching at the Greenwich, Connecticut location. Well, why wouldn't you? I don't get it.

Pedal. Pedal that bike, Diane. Pedal it. Pedal it. Second gear. Oh. Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins.

Whoops, I let the fucking thing run. Anyway, he was involved with a number of his writers and a former high senior employee said he texted nude photos of himself to clients. God, I wish I was a bike instructor who sent dirty pictures.

It just sounds like way more fun. That became problematic, the nude pictures, because people's spouses were complaining. Imagine that. You're a husband. He picks up the phone and sees that. And you end up getting a real fucking workout.

Elbow to the face, forearm shiver to the throat. And then it caused a lot of infighting with riders. These broads are fighting over this guy's dick. The guy's my new hero. Please give me a call. That's how he started at every class. Another New York-based instructor, Mike Press, oh no, not Mike Pence, Mike Press, yo, was accused of pressuring a writer, Olivia Atherton,

into performing oral sex on him in September 2017 in a Manhattan dorm room. Can I ask you a question? I still don't get this, how you can force a woman to blow you unless you have a gun or something.

I'm not buying it. I'm not fucking buying it. What do you do? Get in a guillotine hold? How do you? Then you're on the wrong side of her. I don't believe that. You can't be forced to blow a guy unless I said he's got a weapon on you or something.

It's the only way I can get my wife to do it. Listen. Atherton told Business Insider they were involved in an on-again, off-again relationship. Okay? So right there I know you're full of shit, lady. When he showed up to her dorm repeatedly and pressed her to have sex before, he took his pants off and said, you at least owe me this. Sounds like a black dude, I have to admit.

You owe me this, motherfucker. A, she was a hooah. B, she was a hooah. A, Mike, Mike, Mike, easy. Her two friends contacted SoulCycle about his treatment of Atherton. She doesn't know how to use a phone. But after one of them received an initial response, they never heard from the company again, the Alder reported, because press makes them cabbage. When

Atherton was never contacted, she called headquarters several times and then tagged them in a tweet, to which they responded by instructing her to email them. She reportedly sent emails on September 12th, October 25th, and guess what? They went unanswered

nobody gives a fuck hello hello hello hello hello new york-based instructor laurie cole laurie cole and by by the way this is a great picture her because i saw her in another picture She looked like a pulling guard for the fucking Eagles. Has been repeatedly reported for her behavior. Insider reported, but the company still held out for her exclusive Soho House membership, which runs upwards of $2,400 and paid for a loan to Mercedes-Benz for her to drive around the Hamptons. What am I doing a podcast for? Last summer, Cole, because you're 58, stupid. Last summer, Cole was reportedly accused of

discrimination by a pregnant rider when she allegedly forced her to move at a Hamptons class from a reserved front row bike, which are typically occupied by the most attractive people in the room she made her move to the back she was like oh no no no i need you to come sit here she made the lady sit in the back like she was rosa parks or some shit oh no no you can't sit up there so moved her into the corner and a more attractive more fit person sat in in the front said a corporate staffer the woman sent an email to complain about the incident but the staffer said to the to their knowledge cole wasn't disciplined see but if she's a guy she'd get a bum slap co-workers told the insider that Cole exhibited problematic behavior towards studio staffers, too.

She allegedly fat shamed workers at the Tribeca location, asking the studio manager on several occasions to remove certain ones from shifts because they weren't fit enough. in another incident she's a rascal cole reportedly used language that was deemed homophobic uh back in 2017 she said this he's a fag oh referring to the new manager who was gay she allegedly told another employee well they better not start hiring twinks to work here. The studio's corporate employees were aware of Cole's alleged misconduct and met with them on several occasions. Sources told the outlet she was taken off the schedule temporarily on several occasions, but the alleged behavior continued. Oh, my God. Oh, shit. I let it roll.

Anyways, why did I show you the talk about this? Because we're a nation of adult children. That could have happened on a playground. He called me a fag. She's racist. I don't, I'm fat. I'm pregnant. They don't treat me fairly.

He called me gay. She's a fucking adult. Children is what we are. I'm fucking real. Instead of focusing all I hate where it should be on China and Mormons. I don't understand. I'm kidding. I love Mormons. Relax out there.

Anyways, I'm going to end the show with a clip. Things are really, tension's really up there in New York. Anyways, a couple cars with guys in it got into a beef about a parking spot in Queens, New York. And I guess they got out at one point. This is not on the clip I'm going to show, but they actually had fisticuffs, and one of them came at another guy with a bat, and then the group got back in the car,

and you can see this guy in the street. He still has the bat. And take a look at this. So New York. What the? I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. there's the guy laying that's i guess they went through a bakery apparently he had to pick up some rolls for his wife that foot right there jason did a good job of watching us like the film that was the guy who was on the hood of the car. We matched up the sneakers because a few people got hurt, but he was laying there agony. Right to a bakery window.

The events unfolded around 2 p.m. at 4121 Kessner Boulevard in Flushing when two men driving a BMW had a dispute with a driver and a passenger of a white Audi. People in white cars are nuts. Racist. With New Jersey plates that was double parked. This is from the cops. The video showed the foursome throwing punches in the street, with one of them even striking another repeatedly with a bat.

At one point, one of the man returns in his car against the driveway, but the man with the bat follows him, strikes the car, and then he took him for a fucking ride. He went flying through the air. Driver, this made me laugh because this is Queens,

Jisoo, this probably wasn't even a fight. was a jizu trying to park driver jizu 24 was charged with assault and reckless endangerment according to cops and jonathan zhang 35 was charged with assault so it was an asian thing i kill you i kill you right now kill me i'm right here kill me okay, come with two chopsticks. I shove up your ass. Two chopsticks? Come over here. Talk to me in the face.

Oh, I will be. I'll cock you in the face. I'll put you on the hood of my car. You'll land on a bunch of bagels. That's it. I thought I'd throw that in there. That was excellent. Very New York moment there.

What else? Don't forget, Saturday night again, ladies and gentlemen, I will be performing a standup comedy at the, uh, Plaza Hotel and Casino Vegas Saturday night, uh, which is the 21st. Please, you can get tickets to it at nickdip.com and you're going to watch it on something called watchlivenow.com. You'll be able to watch at nickdip.com and you're gonna watch it on something called watch live now.com you'll be able to watch me do stand-up and again i want to repeat it's not a special i'm gonna be out there you know i'm much funnier on a what i call a working night than uh you know and thanks to the covid

tommy said uh there's hardly anybody on the streets in Vegas. He's already out there. It's unbelievable. Like a ghost, huh? You know what? I hate the fucking six hour flight. I'm going to have to take my crochet with me. Anyway, that is it for today, folks. Thank you guys so much.

Don't forget thecomicsgym.com where I'm today. We're making the jump. We'll still be on YouTube, but you can sign up and you have the free option. You know how it works, all right? People have already signed up over there, thecomicsgym.com. You guys think and I will say it, you're very welcome. I will see you back here tomorrow.

Have a good rest of the day, everybody. guitar solo guitar solo I'm I'm I'm I'm I'm