The Nick DiPaolo Show - Milton Massacres Florida | Nick Di Paolo Show #1636

Episode Date: October 10, 2024

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about Milton, Private polling, the REAL President and much more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://Nickdip.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! SEE NICK LIVE: 11/9/24 – Bridge View Center Theater – Ottumwa, IA TIX:  https://www.nickdip.com/tour  For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

Music playing You're entitled to shit. Sounds like my old man on Christmas. Where's my Texaco truck? That'll do shit. How are you folks? Actually, I had great parents. Dad was a little quick with the hands. But I was quick with my mouth, so a lot of those were documented and well deserved.

You ever get smacked? A Marine? A backhander? He'd be doing this eating dinner. I'd be over there clang. I don't even see it coming. Fucking ears ringing. How's the pasta? How are you folks? Final day of the week here and holy moly, huh? Holy moly. Interesting world out there. All kinds of shit. Don't bring your phone in the bed with you unless you're filming something dirty I have this horrible habit lately although last night you'd be proud of me guys got I said fuck this after watching you know a few baseball games nothing else was on I usually I either stay up and watch the

ID network about you know some murder from 1988 that nobody would give a fuck about, but it's interesting to watch the forensics and all that shit. But my other habit lately is bringing the fucking phone to bed and I go on X and just start, I can't help it. There's street fights, there's guys getting run over by buses, it's fucking insane, illegals doing horrible shit and you look up it's an hour fucking later but last night I took two Advil PM at like 1030 and I said fuck this I'm knocking myself out because I had horrible, I sleep I know you guys have documented this on the

show I sleep through the night but I'm not sleeping through tonight because obviously I'm having sleep apnea issue and I don't want to hear about getting a fucking mask and all that horse shit because my wife has the same problem and she was on the phone with the friggin insurance company for the last eight months trying to get it and All kinds of shit, and then she gets it and I'm laying next to fucking No, I was going I laying next to fucking no I was going I was thinking of a uncle June you had to have one of those fitted do you remember that Tony looks at him goes how many Migs you shoot down today my pain's a source of a you amusement to you but she can't fucking and and I couldn't even I can't even put one of those sleep masks

on that you get at the hotel. It feels like somebody's sitting in my face, which is usually a good thing. Maybe that's the solution right there. But yes, so I knock my, Advil PM works beautifully for me. And a little cloudy today, but not too bad. And I'm going to do it. I looked up and said, you said, how often should you take Avil-PM and whatever the fuck?

And they go, don't take it more than 14 days in a row, which I was very surprised. What they're going to say? They're going to say once a week or? So I'll have brain damage by January. I'm going to be shooting that chip between my toes. Let's get onto it. Milton, which we've been following

Finally hit the coast and The trop was trashed, you know that shitty Stadium Tampa Bay Baseball team plays in and it's just horrible every player hates it It there's never any people there. Foul balls hit the roof. Home runs hit catwalks and they have to have special rules and shit. And anyways, that got trashed last night. Hurricane Milton ripped the roof off Tropicana Field, which was transformed into a camp. This is why DeSantis is a leader.

For thousands of first responders, as the C category three storm ripped through Florida Wednesday night So he had all these first responders there. They set up all those cots The destruction of the Tampa Bay Rays ballpark in st. Petersburg could be seen from the outside and all that remained with the stadium's light cables bars and catwalks with roof fabric dangling from above. You know, I'm maybe a little old fashioned but I don't want a stadium that has fucking polyester for a ceiling. Roof fabric?

The fuck? At least the electricity's still on. That was what I was thinking. Holy shit. Isn't that funny? They were gonna build a new one anyways in a couple years. This might expedite it maybe. I don't know, but my life partner who lives near there,

shush, he reported on it, here it is. The whole roof is coming off the trap. It should end though. Was it out of it? Oh, maybe not. Look at that. Wow Wow, wowie Man look at that. Jesus the Milton just said run through a motherfucker face

Black guy named Milton The dome structure was constructed with six acres of translucent Teflon-coated fiberglass created to withstand 115 mph winds. St. Petersburg saw wind gusts peak at 101 mph Wednesday, the National Weather Service announced. Florida Governor Ronny DeSantis said the state established a 10,000 person base camp at the stadium to support ongoing debris operations in post landfall response. You want me to believe that Kamala Harris would have done that if she was president, do you?

Do you want me to believe that? Kiss my grits. Sorry for the strong language. Viewers discretion is devised. Devised? Wow. hold on. Advocat. They always do that and then they show something that's blurred out.

Show me the actual guy getting stabbed in the neck at the mall. Anyways. So he had them all set up to handle the next day's storm. The storm made landfall as category three near Siesta Key, south of the stadium, around 8.30 p.m. Wednesday with sustained winds of 120 miles per hour. Did you guys see, what's his name? Cooper Anderson, Anderson Cooper, another fucking two last names, I hate it. Did you see him get smacked in the face with like a street sign while he was reporting?

There is a God I could have shown you that if I had any oomph The storm was downgraded to a category two about 90 minutes after hitting the Sunshine State The three million people this morning woke up without power in the region. What a pain in the Cione's Mother of of goodness but I got to believe there's a lot of baseball Kevin Euclis who former Red Sox who does the Red Sox games and he he won't even go to Tampa anymore he hates the stadium

so much he's the color commentary guy he goes they play the music to fucking law he just hates it He goes I hated it when I played there and shit. Sometimes he skips the trip He's got to have a hard on today Anyhow, good luck to those people down there. I think my brother and sister who were in Naples avoided the worst of it Hopefully even though they were a Little bit in the eye of the pet it went north of that. I'm sure you guys care.

Anyways, cocaina. That's the sound of your Papa Murphy's pizza being made by hand. Seriously. And that's your made-from-scratch Papa Murphy's pizza baking to perfection in your oven. Seriously. And that's your oven telling you it's time to eat.

Because at Papa Murphy's, we believe Fridays should be taken seriously. Like how seriously your kids take movie night. Every Friday get a large sausage cheese or pepperoni thin crust pizza for just $5. Papa Murphy's. Change the way you pizza. Let's move on. The truth hurts.

Political analyst Mark Halpern, a liberal dude, I think a New York Times guy or whatever, I forget, said this week that both Democrats and Republicans believe former President Trump's chances of winning the election are looking strong after seeing recent private polling. Yes, sir! See, we say that, and they say private polling because in the private polling there's no incentive to lie like they do Most polls you read I pointed this out yesterday awaited in favor of Democrats mean more Democrats are Polled I don't know why that is. I don't give a shit. I just know that's how it is But me and Dallas and a few other people we have different feelings

I feel like it's already decided they're gonna to give it to that bitch just the way they put her out there and she's fucking up and they don't care. Like we said at the beginning when Joe Biden stepped down, they just plugged another cog into the fucking wheel. They don't care. I just feel like they have, they, I don't know. It feels that way. Prove me wrong.

And I would never be more happy to be wrong than in this situation. Can you win a short campaign with an untested candidate? That's what they said in the article. I'm not asking that. And he said, and what I'm telling you is happening in private polling is she's got a problem now, Halpern said. He pointed to a recent New York Times poll showing that Harris is up over Trump by three points nationally, which I don't even believe. However, he noted this lead is just on the cusp of the poll's margin of error and that her team would rather her be at plus four to be confident she's winning. Even that sounds a little phony to

me. Halperin then mentioned a Wall Street Journal report on internal polling done by Senator Tammy Baldwin, seen here, who turned into Bill Baldwin. Poor ladies. Re-election campaign showing that Harris is down by three points in Wisconsin. in Wisconsin. And she says, and these people know what they're talking about. There's no path without Wisconsin for her to win. He said, excuse me, bringing up the numbers from Baldwin's camp. He added, we all said yesterday, Wisconsin and Michigan are looking worse for Harris than before.

He then spoke to his fellow pundits, including former Trump White House press secretary Sean Spicer and Democratic political strategist Danny Tarentine. There he is, the definition. Jesus, he makes Adam Schiff look like a linebacker for the Lions. Look at that pencil neck. That's a number two. That's Dan Tarantino. About how Baldwin publishing these numbers is an alarm bell for the rest of the party. Further on, and again this all might be true, again if you don't believe it's already

been decided. That's how cynical I am. That's how cynical the Democrats, that's the other thing about the Democrat, how cynical they are about all this you can just tell they don't believe in any of it We'll throw any candidate in there. We'll fucking lie. We'll fly people in illegally have them vote They I mean how much more evidence you need and you're still gonna vote that way people on the left. Fuck you They have walls pretty much openly saying that the electoral college needs to go I They have walls pretty much openly saying that the electoral college needs to go. Hmm.

I saw that. That's the other thing I love about the Dems. When they lose, they want to change the system. It's like playing check as a little kid. He's losing. He goes, I don't like this game. We're going to do it a different way. Further on in the in-stream helper, Chasize, his pro-Harrisis viewers stating, for you Harris people on here complaining that we're talking about problems

in the Harris campaign, and that's the other thing about the Lib. They don't want to hear about the negative shit. Talk about living with your head in the sand. He says you're welcome to put your head... Oh, wow! You're welcome to put your head in the sand about it. If you want to go watch MSNBC, and again, this could have been Libs Eats Libs, prime time and hear how great things are going for the Harris campaign, you're welcome. But if you want to understand what's actually happening, he said, we're here to tell you. I just saw some new private polling today that's very robust private polling. She's in a lot of trouble. And that's a quote from Halprin.

Halprin added, his belief that Harris is in danger of losing every swing state except for Nevada. So remember that when they go, she won. Just remember that. She's a little whore and a little piece of trash. All right. I think that was Marjorie Taylor Greene. You can't see that. That chick's wild. I think that was Marjorie Taylor Greene.

That chick's wild. She's wild. That's some wild stuff, Ed, isn't it? You are correct, sir. Last year, we were the hit of the neighborhood with our Halloween decorations. I mean, people who live here were stopping and taking pictures and shit. I don't know, the wife's a little slow on the trigger. I said look I'm gonna help you bring this shit down from the attic, let's go. It's me. I like the attention. People stop right to take pictures of the things and I have my robe, I'm on the porch at night with nothing I open and I photo bomb can't see anything unfortunately the moon has to be I got a family I look around my neighborhood I don't see pumpkins or anything and this town is haunted as you know Halloween's fucking huge down here I don't I think people are concentrating on the world falling

apart and the election I sort of feel that way I remember me and Andyy came down in a by a house in every god them house we look that and this wasn't in the fall this is like in the middle of the summer one in ten houses had like a mannequin looking out the window or a little baby in the window am i right that it's a quick and creepy it's known for ghosted everything i don't believe in that shit like i said until one of them sitting across from me eating eggs

Fuck yourself All right. Let's move on to the real president the real president of the people the real people's president The Trump family that would be Donald John is offering 275 Florida power and light, that is FPL, linemen, complimentary stays at his Doral Miami Resort as they prepare for Hurricane Milton. Okay? What have you done, Biden? Other than, you know, you have to get, they're trying to give Biden Harris credit for they've,

DeSantis says they've given us everything we've asked. Oh, that's terrific Also, they've you know flown in millions of people who gonna vote illegally fuck off The Doral Miami Resort officially known as Trump National Doral Miami is a luxury look at look That's what I was shooting for and I started comedy. I ended up with a two bedroom. All right, maybe four. Is a luxury resort and golf club located in Darrell, Florida, near Miami. Miami is like to be spared.

Boy, the AI fucking. You mean likely to be spared? You suck, suck. I wrote this yesterday anyways. I mean, I read it yesterday. It's south of where the storm is supposed to hit, but people in mobile homes were encouraged to stay in them and fly away. All right, get up!

Yeah! Some people stayed. Some crazy motherfuckers right in Tampa. I ain't going nowhere. I love them. That's how much they hit. Yeah. Where the fuck was that? I'm staying right. How the fuck did I miss that in a hurricane report? God damn. Former president Donald Trump's son, Eric, shared a video of the linemen getting their room assignments on X.

Check it out, just if you don't believe me. Dallas Burgess, Nick DiPaolo, Rosie O'Donnell? No? Have you seen her lately? She looks like a French bulldog with glasses. Oh my god, she's the unhappiest person on the planet Earth. Permanent. Her litter, her mouth bends down like this. And it's funny. When she first started to get famous, she was kind of already.

I mean mean always a liberal doge because she's from New York I just laughed because every once in a while she'll put up something and just the sadness in her eyes it gives me such joy it's the same reason that I watch my six hundred pound life. I just, it makes me feel good. People are that fat and that loser-y. Loser-y? Sure. It's like hosiery. Loser-y, hosiery. It just makes me feel good about myself. Most people, like I said, they watch Tony, Tony Robbins tapes for positive, I've watched six and a pound life on a loop and just go, at least my taint isn't growing into the fabric on the couch.

Makes me feel good. And then I have a big, the thing I do when I'm watching that too, I'll binge eat fast food just to stick it in their face. My wife says it's a waste of time. I say, no, they deserve the punishment. You go, girl. You go to the gym, you fat fuck. You fat fuck, look at you.

OK, I just went off. You go girl, you go to the gym you fat fuck. You fat fuck, look at you. Okay, I just went off. Let's call digressing. When's your anniversary, Dale? Saturday. Saturday, one year today, one year on Saturday, Dallas and Gianna got married.

And they've adopted two young colored kids in their late 20s. It's gonna be terrific Ukrainians Don't know don't those babies all have fucking alcohol syndrome Ever see those poor babies, oh my god They get wet brain because the mother was sucking down stallies like it was fucking you who? We also get to see a little Dimitri on Saturday again oh you another picture wouldn't that be funny if it's a girl now you're like what the fuck apparently not they wouldn't mind to meet three tails cuz I wouldn't mind

Dimitri is a kid's name Demetri Alexander Demetri Alexander Burgess what he's not gonna take over Eastern block country On horseback on horseback bare-chested with a sword even though they have high-tech shit Unbelievable all right kid. Oh by the way for you guys right now watching All right, oh by the way for you guys right now watching The show on mug club stick around for the second half of the show the rest you just go to nick dip comm click Whatever sign up for mug club. You'll get this entire show Why wouldn't you want that and then Steven Crowder's entire show which is like I said the production quality And and and the facts and figures you You get your news, you get to laugh. You also

have Alex Jones popping in and out, the Brian Callan is on that network and that undercover team which is just cracking national news. All that. You get that. So go to nickdip.com and also click on my tour button at the top there. You'll see November 9th Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. And there's only about 570 tickets left, so no, we just started pushing it. November 9th Bridgeview Center Theater, Ottumwa, Iowa. I can't wait to see that. Also later on in the show I'm going to do a story about the National Guard and what they did with the helicopter yesterday that sort of confirms what people are saying.

Hello, the National Guard and the government don't really want to help the people and give off that image that people don't need government. And this helicopter did something that was kind of dumb. And also in the NHL, big news, abroad, a chick, a moxie lady, a can of tomatoes is making headlines as an assistant, first assistant female coach in the NHL.

I know, guys, relax. I actually tweeted. I put on X yesterday. That's all fine and good. That's all fine and good. Just don't tell me men aren't qualified to decide the boys abortion issue which I think puts a nice stamp on that and We'll do we doing a story about hair later on the show if I could talk

What the fuck have another cup of coffee? Jesus H. Hi. Good night everybody buddy! I'm gonna be a man Thanks for watching!