The Nick DiPaolo Show - Miss Ryan Webb For President | Nick Di Paolo Show #1392

Episode Date: May 3, 2023

In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about the left exposed again, Paul Stanley calling it like it is and more! Like what you hear?  Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full... episodes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com 

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Starting point is 00:00:00 🎵 How many men on a hockey team? About half. Paul Trofals studies at the University of Wisconsin show that you'll probably live longer if you love only one man or woman keep your friends close but your enemies close what what should you call the group of dancers in a ballet silly the ballet. Silly savages. My favorite one. I don't even think I have it on here. Great. You guys know who that is, right? You're my age. The great Paulin. Funniest fella to ever just fucking hard drinking maniac when he's drunk, they say. But what was my favorite line?
Starting point is 00:01:26 Paul, we all know when you, when a man falls out of a boat, we yell, man overboard. What do we yell when a woman falls off a boat? He goes, full steam ahead. How funny is that coming out of a gay guy? Oh my God. It's my favorite fucking thing of all time.
Starting point is 00:01:46 Anyways, how you doing, folks? What day is it? I don't know. It doesn't matter. We pump these out like fucking Midas mufflers. Cocaine drip. I'll tell you something, man. Anybody, hockey fans out there, real quick, I don't want to bore the rest of you people who watch fucking NBA basketball with fucking felons
Starting point is 00:02:01 exchange baskets for four and a half hours before it means anything, and you think it's a good sport. Yeah, but the athleticism. Shut up. I've heard it all. Put on hockey where they want to kill each other. They think it still matters.
Starting point is 00:02:14 They don't go out to dinner with each other before the game. That type of shit. Real white stuff. Fucking Rangers-Devils. Game seven last night in New Jersey Jersey it's only 11 miles away from with a Madison Square Garden and the Devils prevail for nothing let me tell you about the Devils they are fast young they skate like MFers I'm just saying it was terrific I'm gonna haul you over make you watch one um oh my god, my God. Just fast and violent.
Starting point is 00:02:45 No whistles. They play seven minutes without a whistle. Flatten each other. Great saves. It's really gay. Anyways, what? Me fuck you and your bones, bird. Oh, suck it.
Starting point is 00:02:58 What else? Last night I get the fucking hungry. You know, I can have, like, nuts and shit. You know, I can have like nuts and shit. You know, Dallas, I'll tell you. Yeah. Yeah. I go into the cabinet. I open it.
Starting point is 00:03:13 There's a box of Zingers. The fuck's my wife a meth addict? You know, Zingers. You know, they look like Twinkies, only they're pink with like coconut all over them. Real fucking ghetto food, which is fucking delicious I'll give the brothers that right they got it all ah and I just couldn't just looking at that box I was staring at the ingredients for 22 minutes And there's nothing you can pronounce. It's a paragraph of shit. I couldn't pronounce any of the word
Starting point is 00:03:40 That must be good for your asshole, huh? Meanwhile their wife looks terrific. Yeah, maybe she's got a little polyp in her ass that keeps her thin. Why would you say that? I have no fucking idea. Did a lot of work. Now I'm busy. I'm actually – anyways, I'm burning the candle at both ends. Went to bed at 2.15, which is stupid. Woke up at 8.30 and killed the neighbor's dog. Anyway, let's get on with the show. What do we got today? Taste of their own medicine.
Starting point is 00:04:14 Well, what in God's name is that? A Republican councilman. I love this guy. If you guys don't vote for this guy, I don't know if he's up for election or whatever. this guy, I don't know if he's up for election or whatever, Republican councilman in Indiana is going viral after writing on Facebook that he now identifies as a woman of color. He's actually, I guess he has Cherokee, so it's a woman of, he's Indian, you know, a woman of color in an apparent effort to troll the left. First of all, who says he's trolling?
Starting point is 00:04:50 You know what I mean? Who's writing this? Some young broad who probably got brainwashed or a guy. Who says he's trolling? That's what you do when you say I identify as a woman. You're trolling us. Can we start fighting back, you fucking right-wing pussies? Start dishing it out.
Starting point is 00:05:05 This guy's doing it, and he's a politician. How would you not vote for this guy if you don't believe in all that transgender horse shit or trans-ableism? Are we talking about that today? We are, right? Oh, my God. Wait till you hear this one. I mean, it's been around a little bit. But Ryan Webb is this guy's name, a father of five who's married to his wife, which makes him a dyke.
Starting point is 00:05:28 Doesn't it? An interracial dyke. Brandy is currently a, his wife's Brandy, currently this guy's a councilman for Delaware County, Indiana, according to his official account. Indiana, according to his official account. But he raised eyebrows after he announced his gender transition on Facebook in a move that some conservative commentators are interpreting as a joke. Well, why don't you quote some of them? You didn't. Webb said himself that he is holding up a mirror to the political left to expose their genitalia. No, to expose their contradictions in gender ideology, which is exactly what, that's how I interpret it. Let's listen to this woman of color.
Starting point is 00:06:18 It's unfortunate that I cannot simply be given the same space and respect to explore my identity that so many of those targeting me demand for themselves. Oh, I love it. Oh, I love it. Oh, I love it. You see what he's doing? That's almost airtight, foolproof. Because that's the logic he's using, their language.
Starting point is 00:06:47 Good luck arguing with that, you kids out there. Again, nothing against. Just stop making me participate in your he-she thing. Wee-wee. Anyways, Ryan Webb. Scares me. I love it. I think this is, it's almost like Abbott sending,
Starting point is 00:07:06 you know, filthy migrants. I don't mean filthy migrants, ones that haven't washed yet, sending them to New York. And it's sort of like that. And then they freak out. They can't even fake it. Right? Chicago, he was sending them more. Lori Lightfoot, a couple of days on TV, going, please, we're full. Oh, Sanctuary City, when it was just talk. You're all, you have nothing. Your moral compass, you don't have one, as opposed to me. Trying to think of myself last night. Cut. What? Webb explained that friends, fellow council members, and people in the community can continue to address him as Ryan or as Councilman Webb. Wow, he's still leaving the man in there.
Starting point is 00:07:48 And that he will also retain his pronouns of he and him. He was the best guy around. He still is. He still is. The announcement Webb wrote likely made him the very first lesbian woman of color in the history of Delaware County. He's smashing those glass ceilings. To ever serve on the Delaware County Council. I love it. I love it.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Damn it. Is it because we're black? He continued, going forward, I will speak my truth and be open about who I am as a person as well as how I perceive the complexity of my own gender identity. We cannot, this guy's actually brilliant, we cannot let bullies, racist and hateful intolerant bigots silence our voices. Oh my god, I'd kiss this guy. silence our voices. Oh my god, I'd kiss this guy. Make me a dyke. The clip that Webb was responding to has picked up massive attention online, racking up more than 7.4 million views and 500 million, I mean, five million with me, and 35,000 likes on Twitter after it was posted on April 30th. iTeam8 reported that Webb has received,
Starting point is 00:09:08 oh, they're good, some support, but a lot of backlash after his announcement with some even calling for his execution. Boy, what a sense of humor you guys have on the left. Huh? Calling for his death
Starting point is 00:09:23 because he's acting as stupid as you are? Call for your execution, but I wouldn't because I'm not like that. What? Dallas just fainted. We have to cut. Oh, my God. Anyways, hey, the second half of the show, I'm going to be talking about, how about Snoop Dogg doing something with the NHL, and I can't tell you what. In a baseball player in college, you get shot during a game. I'll give you my point of view on those, and then I'll be kicked out of the country. It's exclusively on Mug Club, so join now to get it at nickdapaloshow.com.
Starting point is 00:10:08 Let's move on, shall we? Yes, we shall. When I was, let me tell you something, folks. When I was, let me see, 19, I was 13, 1975. I think that's when Kiss was, I mean, they were in their heyday. They'd been kicking around, you know, since the late 60s, and then they exploded on the scene. And like any 13-year-old boy with just
Starting point is 00:10:28 got hair on his pencil, excited about Kiss. So I said, look at these guys, fucking rock and roll. And then I grew up and learned that what good music is. No, I still like this shit, because inside, again, I'm 11. I really am. I have the taste of a 14-year-old kid in 1978, as far as musicals. I fucking love hard rock. And I can argue most of the garbage since 1990 is just that, garbage. Anyhow, any he, he. I always wanted to see Kiss.
Starting point is 00:10:56 And then my sister's boyfriend, Eddie, comes over to the house on a Sunday. He was a cool dude. Used to sneak me out to titty bars and shit. I think he's in jail. He came over to the house for Sunday dinner with us. And my sister goes, lift your plate. No, I lifted my plate to get, what else, spaghetti at Sunday. And what do I see? Two tickets to Kiss in Providence,
Starting point is 00:11:20 Rhode Island, Civic Center, that coming Thursday. Man, my erection lifted the table above everything. I couldn't, it was, I was like, oh my God.
Starting point is 00:11:32 I remember driving down and drinking, drinking like fucking warm Miller High Life or whatever. We're in a, we're in a Volkswagen Beetle and he's trying to piss
Starting point is 00:11:42 into a fucking, like an empty Coke can as he's driving. And that was, anyways, I blew up. Listen, he gave me tickets. Anyways, I'm just saying, Kiss, still to this day, I got it. It's on my fucking phone. Some of it's really good. Some of it, you know, but I got to see him and got third-degree burns and that fire shot up why am I talking about well Paul Stanley the front man of kiss iconic rock band kid has voiced his opposition to gender affirming care among kids saying it has become a game in quotes a comment that pushed more than a few buttons.
Starting point is 00:12:25 I love how you can't say anything without pushing the other side, whether it's race-related. Shut the fuck up! Race, gender, who do you fucking people? You already control the language. Can we just get it over with and get the muskets? Paul Stanley's seen here.
Starting point is 00:12:44 What the fuck? Looks crazy. More than a few buttons of those on social media. In a lengthy Sunday social media post, Stanley wrote about his thoughts on what he was observing in society. He says, and I quote, there's a big difference between teaching acceptance and normalizing and even encouraging participation in a lifestyle that confuses young children into questioning their sexual identification as though some sort of game and then parents, in some cases, allow it, which is, I see the irony coming out of a guy, you know, in some cases, allow it, which is, I see the irony coming out of a guy, you know, they're called Kiss, and they based their band on, there was a band, New York Dolls, I think they were called, in the
Starting point is 00:13:33 60s, like a punk band, you know, they fucking were dressed up like women, anyways, I see, you know, a little bit of, but the guy, this guy is just, not just a dumb rocker, if you read about him, But the guy, this guy is just, not just a dumb rocker. If you read about him, he's really smart. I think he's Jewish. That makes him smart, in my opinion. Anyways, that'll get the Anti-Defamation League off my back. I'm kidding, folks.
Starting point is 00:13:55 Anyways, big fan. I read interviews and shit, and he does. He's very bright. He says there are individuals who, as adults, may decide reassignment is their needed choice by turning this into a game or parents normalize it as some sort of natural alternative or believing that because a little boy likes to play dress up in his sister's clothes or a girl in her brother's, we should lead them steps further down a path
Starting point is 00:14:22 that's far from innocent of what they are doing. I'm sorry, but I agree with that. Uh-oh, retard alert. And I think a lot of gay people would. Retard alert. And again, I'm not, no, I'm not conflating gay people and trans. I know you guys hate each other. I enjoy the fights, especially when you're wearing something short.
Starting point is 00:14:40 Ooh. Oh, God. You know, it's being treated like a game. And the left thinks they're God. That's what it is. That's what it is. Whether it comes to this, you know, sure, cut off little girls' boobs, castrated. They think they're fucking God because they don't believe in God, and their God is this type of horse shit. And Paul Stanley, goddammit, was a good front man. Go baby, drive, we're driving on down the road. With many children who have no real sense of sexuality, he continued, or sexual experiences, caught up in the fun of using pronouns and saying what they identify as, some adults mistakenly confuse teaching acceptance with normalizing
Starting point is 00:15:31 and encouraging a situation that has been a struggle for those truly affected and have turned it into a sad and dangerous fad. Now, where is he wrong there? I don't see any... What we've got here is failure to communicate. No, it's communicated beautifully. It's just that one side's intolerant, the one that claims that they're not, and doesn't want to hear anything that goes against their horseshit beliefs. And I wish they'd get out of my country. Ali is my country, not yours, because you hate it.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Beat it. Am I right, Paul? Get Gene Simmons in here. People were very quick to react because it's the internet, and they have nothing else to do. Picture a bunch of fat, angry lesbians who can't get laid, or a fat guy, 400 pounds, get picked on, laying on his bed all day on his computer so he can have a voice in society.
Starting point is 00:16:22 Fuck you. People were very quick to react. Among them, political commentator, jerk off of the year, jerk off of the century, the big, fat, know-it-all, blowhard asshole who sucked on ESPN, sucked on everything he ever did, including his boyfriend's ass, Keith Olbermann. Why is he, why are we still listening to this jack up? It's not a game, you asshole. So right away he goes to name calling. This guy who supposedly went to fucking Cornell or Princeton, Ann Coulter called him, but he went to like the agricultural school, whatever the fuck. Right away with a name calling, you asshole. What a fucking, Right away with a name calling, you asshole.
Starting point is 00:17:06 What a fucking, just an elitist dickhead. What you do is a game, meaning what they face internally and now externally due to stupid, panicky fascists like you. Fuck you, you dirty, fat pig, you. What a, fascists. Who sounds like the fascist in this argument? You stop by calling names, calling more names, because you don't have an argument. What he said was right. He's just saying, if your son's playing with the girl's clothes, whatever, don't jump to conclusion that it's a girl. Let it play out. Oh, that's
Starting point is 00:17:46 so fascist. What a fucking blowhard. Why can't we run into these people? Well, because you live in Georgia. Well, they make movies down here. Was it going to be the next Superman movie? Fat buck. Yeah, fat buck, look at you. Anyways, stupid panicky fascist like you, externally, is an excruciating ordeal. You know he was picked on. You know this kid. Therein lies the problem in our world right now, in this country.
Starting point is 00:18:17 Every dweeb, as somebody said, the nerds have the keys to the gym. I don't know who said that. Beautiful. I wish I did. Pretend I did. You'll like the show much better. Hit the like button.
Starting point is 00:18:29 I don't even know what the fuck that is. While I'm doing crowd, he's like, bash that button. I'm like, what's he, he's got nine buttons for his fans to hit.
Starting point is 00:18:40 An excruciating ordeal, Oberman said, and then he fucking slipped off his dress and laid down with his life partner, Kevin McGillicuddy. I hate this motherless stinkbag. You need to shut the fuck up. Best not be talking to me, yo.
Starting point is 00:18:56 Others went further, noting that Kiss brand is all about nonconformity and playing dress up. Well, he's not saying conform. Jesus Christ, are you people stupid? You can nonconform, not conform without cutting your dick or tits off when you're 12. In other ways, are you that stupid left? I'll say it again. The right used to be known as stupid. I still haven't cleared them yet either you know on civil rights and shit in the 50s and 60 and they were a little on cultural shit although reflecting they're a lot of right about a lot of it too anyways this is me on Halloween according to the HRC the most recent survey of high school students by the Centers for Disease Control,
Starting point is 00:19:46 we're still listening to them. I'd rather listen to Oberman. Finds that roughly 3% of adolescents and teens identify as transgender or non-binary. Of course they have. Because they're marinating in it on TikTok and every other fucking platform. Don't you understand? The leftist jerk-offs who want to take this country down,
Starting point is 00:20:08 who's the enemy? The nuclear family. And this is how you destroy it. And they're doing a great job at it. You Republicans are asleep at the switch, you bitches. Wake up and smell the latte, you big girls. Speaking of latte,
Starting point is 00:20:23 let me take a sip of this. I'm sick of K-Pax. Want to get a real coffee? Huh? I knew you would. Who would have guessed Dallas? This guy's so old. If it was up to him, Dallas would be coming. Me and him would be coming to work in a horse and buggy. And eating like porridge
Starting point is 00:20:40 and shit. I'm with him though. I want the nice slow drip. I just with him, though. I want the nice, slow drip. I just like the smell of it. That and ass. Hey, for those of you on Mug Club, stick around for the
Starting point is 00:20:56 second half of the show. Everyone else, go to nickdipaloshow.com and join to get my full show and Crowder's full show and a lot more. And while you are there, at nickdip.com, click on the tour button,
Starting point is 00:21:12 and you'll see a place to – do we have the dates? Can we put them up or no? Daytona Beach, May 12th. Daytona Beach, May 12th, and we got Dallas the following weekend. Oh, we do? I'm working two weekends in a row? That prick. Jesus.
Starting point is 00:21:29 What's the date on those? 19, 18? 19, 20. 19 and 20 in Dallas at Hyena's, and then July 14th and 15, Arlington, Virginia, the Draft House. So click on the button there. I didn't realize I'm working there, but don't I have enough money? No. guitar solo Outro Music

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