The Nick DiPaolo Show - Mitch vs Bitch | Nick Di Paolo Show #321

Episode Date: March 24, 2020

Biden bumbling from home. DEMS blocking Covid bill. Mitch McConnell is fired up! Thank you Adam from Melbourne for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Hey guys, it's Nick DiPaolo. You know what I'm sick of? I'm sick of being told what is acceptable in comedy, what is not acceptable. I've never followed the rules because there are no rules in comedy. It's an art form, okay? I don't wanna be told what I can say, what I can't say.

I've been saying this politically incorrect shit my whole career, starting as an open mic in 1988. I'm not a Johnny-come-lately. There's guys out there who are taking credit for pushing back now against the PC culture. I was the original deplorable. You can look it up, okay? That's why we created the Nick DiPaolo Show.

We have a place where I can speak unfiltered. The truth. There's two types of people, politically correct and people who are honest. And you guys are like me. We speak, we call it like we see it, okay? And that's why the show was created. We recently went free Monday through Thursday at nickdip.com, which means we need your support.

This show can only survive with contributions from you guys. And you can also sign up at patreon.com. That's a monthly subscription. Either way, we need your support more now than ever. So it's very important to us. I will continue

to call it like I see it. Speak unapologetically, unfiltered, because the world needs it right now. You want Bernie fucking Sanders or Nancy Pelosi and Joe Biden calling the shots? No.

In a perfect world, I'd be running the goddamn country. But we got somebody close enough, Trump. So again, thank you so much for your contributions. Go to nickdip.com. If you're watching on YouTube, just click that button right now

and we will continue to bring you the truth unfiltered and fuck anybody who doesn't like it. Talk to you soon. Hey, what's the hurry? You got to get consistent with that music. Is that bothering you? Come on now. What's going on, folks? Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show. And, you know, we have a captive audience thanks to this horrible virus, I'm guessing.

Hopefully we can give you, you know, approximately an hour of relief. Or we can bore the shit out of you. Either way, what are you going to do? I mean, I chew. Let me tell you, this is a good job to have right now. If you have loyal fans, which we have, thank you so much.

Again, you guys keep the show going, because it's free now, and we rely on your contributions. I don't say donations, because I'm not a guy with no legs on a street corner fucking laying in his own shit. Your contributions. Who's with me? Anybody?

Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be unless they really wanted to be disliked. Yeah, glad you get the point, Bob. I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot above me nor I. Beneath him be. Selassius, 17th century.

Oh, God help us. Joey Biden back in the news. This fucking retard showing you how desperate Democrats are. This guy is going to be the, are you dog styling me? This old senile, dumb when he had his marbles, now just severely retarded. He is, he made an ass of himself. You know why? He spoke in public.

What are we doing? What's going on right now? Yeah, exactly, stupid. Oh, God help us. The presumptive Democrat presidential, what? Now see, now it's echoey today. I can't get this fucking, don't touch anything, Razz. It's not you, it's these shithead folks. The presumptive Democrat presidential nominee apparently lost his train of thought. No! Monday.

It's funny they say train of thought with a guy who takes Amtrak to work every day. While delivering a speech on what he believed President Trump should do to combat, he had to be told to get out there. Already it's happening. The DNC is using this guy as a puppet. What are you doing?

Trump's on TV two hours a day talking about the coronavirus. People don't even know you're around. They had to tell him to get out there. So he did a message from his house. Jack off. And of course, he couldn't speak for more than 30 seconds without stumbling. When you watch the clip, watch him go like this with his right hand. He's telling the guy with a teleprompter to move it for watch this jack off go ahead i'm glad the president has finally good energy national guard what do you got coronavirus we need the armed forces in the national guard to help with hospital capacity supplies and logistics we need to activate the reserve corps of doctors and nurses and beef up the number of responders it's already being done crush of cases and uh watch in addition to that in addition to that we have to make sure that we are in a position that we are let me go the second thing oh my god let me go to the second thing this guy couldn't run a fucking lemonade stand congratulations demogra again it's the point is moat because google is going to

control all the information from now till november or whenever the election is in november and uh you know they have to fight 30 and and uh but uh fucking joe biden can imagine He's in the comfort of his own home doing that and he can't get it right. And he's going like this with a teleprompter. Who's wrong? Oh, that's right. Simone Sanders, that hateful black woman with a shaved head is the head of his campaign.

No wonder why things are running smoothly. Nick, what do you mean by that? You know what the fuck I mean by that. She's just not bright. Doesn't matter. Whatever. She's got a haircut like Raz. Looks good on Raz because he's a fucking rugged looking man.

She looks like Reggie White before he had the fucking sleep apnea. That's a horrible thing to say. What a horrible thing to say. Anyways, God, every time he opens his hole, he's on my show

you're bankrupt, you're morally bankrupt I hate to be such a partisan but I'm calling it like I see it, House Majority Whip, can you say whip when you're referring to a black guy without getting in trouble? House Majority Whip, must be you'd never hear a joke

like that on Fox fucking Gutfeld couldn't come up with that on his best day uh and i love him uh house majority whip uh james clyburn a real whitey hater he goes back in the day you know like chris rock has a whole bit about all black guys are the most racist people on the planet uh reportedly told the democrats on a conference call last week that the uh that the party should exploit the coronavirus stimulus. This is a tremendous and I think this is quote, this is a tremendous opportunity to restructure things to fit our fucking vision. There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind.

He's saying, like Rahm Emanuel said, remember remember never let a good crisis go to waste I'm paraphrasing he's not even smart enough Clyburn to know you shouldn't say that out loud he's actually saying the coronavirus is a good thing because people are dying and we have the Republicans over a barrel he's so stupid he doesn't even realize he should say that out loud uh Clyburn statement reported by the Hill, which cited a source on a conference call featuring more than 200 members of the House Democrat caucus last Thursday, recalls an infamous statement by Rahm Emanuel,

the incoming chief of staff to Barack Obama. You remember when he said this. You never want a serious crisis to go to waste. The crisis provides the opportunity for us to do things that you could not do before. Think about that. People are fucking dying and he's going, hey, we can take advantage of this. Think about that.

If a Republican even came close to saying that. Anyways, the quote became relevant again Sunday night into Monday morning as Democrats blocked an effort to pass emergency stimulus, reportedly insisting on changes to suit favored social interests. I'm going to get that in a few seconds. The shit that's in the bill that Pelosi wants passed. We talked about, we touched on it yesterday. It has a ton of shit in there, has nothing to do with the coronavirus. They are the most evil, power-hungry fucks last sunday night cliburn compared donald trump to nazi dictator and mass murderer adolf hitler wow did you come up with that on your own time

for you to retire time to go go meet elijah cummings that sounded a white fella saying that didn't sound like cliburn wow come you call fucking trump hill and nobody's used that yet uh but he's saying trump could exploit current political circumstances to emulate hitler's seizure of power you my friend are just stuck in 1940 sorry you had such a hard life i had nothing to fucking do with it dummy oh yeah and he's not any stupider than Pelosi. This witch. That's what we call her. The wicked witch of the West.

That's what we should call her. She put in all kinds of pork. Stopped the bill. Here's Mitch McConnell from yesterday or the day before. I think it is fucking unloading. This is as angry as an old white guy can get who's a senator. This is Mitch McConnell out of his tits. Watch the emotion. The country is crying out for bipartisanship.

Oh, calm down. And cooperation. Look at the guy behind him looking for oxygen. And we saw that over the last 48 hours when regular members of the Senate, not in the leadership office, not in the Speaker's office, for goodness sake. She's the Speaker of the House, not the Speaker of the Senate. We don't have one. This guy can't take it in the back. We it down a notch. Not on the Speaker's office, for goodness sake. She's the Speaker of the House. Whoa. Not the Speaker of the Senate. We don't have one.

This guy can't take it in the back. We were doing just fine. We were doing hot, didn't his dumb cunt show up? Until that intervention. So I want the American people to fully understand what's going on here. Slow down Mitch. The markets are already reacting

to this outrageous nonsense. Oh the fire. We have an obligation. Fire and brimstone. To the American people, to deal with this emergency and to deal with it tomorrow. And if we don't, I want everybody to fully understand you've seen everybody who's on record.

Now I've conspicuously avoided trying to turn this into any kind of partisan effort. Is that as mad as you can get? Let me in there, let me in the floor. But it's pretty clear what's going on here. Yes. And we'll have this cloture vote again at some point of my choosing.

Calm down, fella. He's fucking. And hopefully, Somebody, give him a. Some adults will show up on the other side of the room and understand the gravity of the room and understand The gravity of the situation Before the markets go down further and the American people become even more depressed

About our lack of you depressing me with your brimstone speed here. Come together under the most extraordinary circumstances. You make a hell of a coach. We've never been confronted with anything like this before. It's totally different. I think you have it. You have no energy. And we're not immune to it in terms of the public health risk. Coronavirus has hit the Senate today as well.

Thank Christ. Let it spread like wildfire. Kill all you motherfuckers. Five members in self-quarantine. So everybody understands the emergency. All right, enough. He's making me sick to my stomach. Jesus H.

I'm really mad. Everything is going good. And Pelosi, that lovin' old... When he talks, only his lower lip's moved. I've been in the Senate for 119 years. I built the fucking place. I did the grout work in the Senate for 119 years. I built the fucking place. I did the grout work in the bathroom. Gotta give him credit.

He's been around forever. He's a slippery fuck. But we're going to get to, after I read, I want to thank the contributors for the show. We'll get to what Pelosi, everything was going fine. They were this close to a cloture vote, whatever the fuck that is pelosi comes back from wherever she was and schumer they get together go in the back room and people are fucking dying and they're playing politics wait till you hear what's in the bill that they're trying to pass all kinds of pc racial shit oh my god how can you

guys at home sit there hear that and then call Trump and the Republicans? And the Republicans actually, too, did something with a bill that, there was a part of it that was trying to, part of it was trying to kill us outsourcing jobs to, you know, for cheap labor to other countries. And Republicans killed that, so they're guilty, too.

But wait till you hear what Pelosi put in there. She really is a leathery nipple hooah. I want to thank the lifeblood of the show, which is you guys. These are one time contributors. You can do that at NickDip.com. This is what keeps the show afloat. Adam McRae, Colorado. Corey Buck, Connecticut.

Brett Hoffman, Wisconsin. Veselin Yudinov, Bulgaria. I got a Bulgarian. Fucking love it. Bradinov, Bulgaria. I got a Bulgarian. Fucking love it. Braden Anderson, Utah. Edward Aldred, Kentucky. Robert Pisan, Australia. Benjamin Cundery, Illinois.

Mark Marriott, Illinois. Tyrone O'Reilly. Is that a real name? A fucking black Irishman. En escudo! Tyrone O'Reilly, United Kingdom. Love it. Bill Maher, it says Canada.

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and you get access to all the past shows. Thank you so much, Josh Ernst, Josh Salas, and it says Nancy Pelosi. Fucking dirty. I don't want her money.

We'll take the fake Nancy Pelosi in my bed. I love my fans. But listen to the shit that was in the bill, okay, that the Democrats are trying. It's un-fucking-believable. This is so risky politically, I would think, unless half the population is this retarded that they don't see anything wrong with it. Democrats putting wokeness over the American people. That's how Tucker Carlson put it.

Listen to the shit in the bill. On Monday, the Senate failed to pass a procedural cloture vote on phase three of the bill, earning sharp criticism from Republicans like Louisiana Senator John Kennedy, who accused them of continuing to double down on stupid. Listen, here's some of the shit. Here's some of the pork they put remember this is about getting money out to businesses to individual people families to to fucking to bridge until this coronavirus is over people literally dying and this is what they want in the bill the bill

would require every corporation that receives coronavirus aid to have officers and a budget dedicated to diversity and inclusion initiatives for a minimum of five years after they get the money. ID politics, identity politics jammed into the book. Companies would also have to produce elaborate racial reports for the government listing the skin color and the sex of their officers and boards of directors. This shows you what they're really all about. This country is too male and too white. They hate this fucking country the way it is.

They have to listen to this. The companies have to prove they give enough money to firms owned by women and non-whites. And of course, how much they spend on diversity initiatives. You fucking people. You have no idea how to defend a nation. Can you fucking imagine? That's what they're worried about. Don't you love how they can exclude white males now? Remember you couldn't exclude people on the, you know, basis of race and shit. Now you can. In the, in the stimulus that Pelosi and the douchebags put up, the words diverse or diversity appear more than 60 times

as people are dying all over the world of coronavirus. If that doesn't show you their bare naked ambitions for power, while the bill set aside 300 million to hire experts to manage outbreak preparation and response, it orders that employees be chosen on the basis of their race and disability status. In other words, if you're a native american in a fucking wheelchair you're in what the fuck is that you're fucking crazy oh yeah yeah what else mandating early voter periods in all 50 states allowing same-day voter registration expanding collective bargaining for federal employees requiring listen to this airlines accepting federal money to offset carbon emissions and even provisions to protect foreign nationals working in this country. That's what their priorities are.

Not you, not the real fucking American citizens. How is this party still fucking standing? I'll tell you how. There's enough morons that watch MSNBC, CNN, ABC, CBS, NBC, and... I think your brain is going soft. Republicans, here's what the Republicans look like assholes on. So they were guilty too. Republicans who want to kill the requirement that companies that receive bailout funds

stop outsourcing jobs to other countries. Republicans want to kill that, even after all that damage is done. So that's the old story, Republicans, with fucking money and stuff. But worrying about race and gender, we really do have some real shitheads running this country. Raz, what time do we start? How long have we been on? 1.15, 2.15. Oh, fuck.

I'm going to slow it down. I was thinking 1 o'clock. Yeah, so there's some real morons running. You know, they have been for the last 40 years. And one of them who isn't a moron is this guy uh kennedy senator kennedy from louisiana i think his name is john kennedy actually isn't it uh but he's one of these southern guys who just lets it fly and he's got that old philosophy you know yeah don't let the chicken out of the barn before the horse fucks

betty one of those whatever but here's him ripping his colleagues watch it american people are thinking right now mr president i love his voice they're thinking that this country was founded by geniuses checks his phone is being run by a bunch of idiots what are we going to economy to crash. Exactly. Exactly right. Run by idiots. I call them fucking Democrats. You some evil motherfuckers.

Can you imagine worrying about, if a company takes money, right, coronavirus aid, they have to hire black and women and can you imagine again like it's 1942 they have played the race card for the last 40 years and you can't blame them because it's fucking worked hasn't it but now people have had enough when you see like kanye west and uh you know, there's a lot of black people this year. I should say last year that has said, you know what? Trump's actually doing some good for us.

They're going to keep hammering at home. Make sure you hire a bunch of Chinese and black teachers or you won't get your money. This episode of the Nick DiPaolo podcast brought to you by Tushy. You know there's a toilet paper shortage, don't you? You know who doesn't need toilet paper? People who aren't wiping their ass but washing it. You can't. That's poetry. Break up with your toilet paper. She treated you like shit. I didn't even mean that. It was kind of funny.

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water you brush your teeth with before, not after. Wet wipes are worse than toilet paper. They clog up your pipes. They turn into papier-mâché when they mix with toilet paper, and they cause anal fissures, and you don't want your anus fissuring, do you? Nobody wants that. So anyways, to prevent all that, it's a great product. Go to hellotushy.com forward slash Nick dip and get 10% off your order. Again, that's H-E-L-L-O-T-U-S-H-Y.com forward slash Nick tip and get 10 percent off your order. And we thank them for sponsoring the Nick DiPaolo show. It's a great product. They use them in hospitals now and stuff for people who have trouble.

And I go outside. I get I get I get the hose. You know, you put your thumb and get a good spray. Go right up there. Oh, let me, before I forget, let me just fucking talk about American Idol. Let me get off the subject. Have you, I go, you're probably laughing.

Yeah, they brought it back. Whatever. There's nothing on. There's no sports. Don't blame me. I'm watching this baggy shit. I like talented people, though. These kids are un-fucking-believable.

They're so much better than like 20 years ago in America. But I used to watch it for this. My wife used to get upset. She'd be watching. I'd be watching for the talent, too. But I'd be watching it for these subtle messages. And I want you guys to learn here about the politically correct horseshit and watch American. I'm watching it the other night. kid from like Mississippi. He's paired up with a black girl to do, no, a white girl to do a duet. Of course, it's time to rehearse. They have about an hour before they're going to perform. He's nowhere to be found. She's all upset and shit. He's a big, he looked like a Louis CK, kind of a redhead and nowhere to be found. And they finally find him and they, where were you? We're supposed to be, it's probably all written in, but anyways, they have to take the white Southern kid, make him look like, I was at the gas station.

What are you doing there? Getting chicken wings. And she goes, who gets chicken wings from a gas station? He goes, I don't know where you're from, but that's what we do. And he's right. Down here in Georgia. Want good fried chicken? Fill up your tank.

You go into, what is it, Parker's? I haven't had it yet because there's always a line it's either that or 12 black guys in the raid he's playing the lottery i can't get a fucking beer in under an hour um but he's right but they make him out to be such adult and this kid was talented too so they get out there and of course he fucks up on his guitar because he wasn't there practicing with her but i'm telling you this is the shit folks don't think that's an act i used to point it out to my wife and she'd fucking punch me in the head and go quit ruining the show i'm just you have to know who makes this shit so so anyways they fuck up and right before the judges rule on this i'm just this i'm pointing this out because

this is most this is what i call cultural marxism it comes out of hollywood these are all subplots it's not even about the show itself it's about getting these life lessons out and uh right before they judge them they were going to send them home because the kid goes the big kid with the guy goes i want to say something pass her she deserves it i fucked i wasn't there putting the blame on okay and before that they, they show four duets, three duets of a guy and a girl, guy and a girl. They show them real quick. Every one, the girl was passed, the guys were sent home. It's just fucking, it's so fucking predictable.

Then there's a kid from West Virginia doing a duet with a black girl, young black girl, great voice, really talented. I want to say she was from around South Carolina or whatever. They actually paired up with this white kid from West Virginia about 18 years old. He's got the Civil War goatee and the fucking really talented old guitar fucking, you know, whatever. They're trying to learn a song that she, he can't get the words, Doc. He's just a dumb fucking Southern idiot. And he messes up and they end up both getting not passed. And it's on him.

And they put up, when he's leaving under his breath, he goes, good, now I can go home. Just making him out to be a villain. It is, guys, you a villain it is guys you know it is so scripted it's it's not even about anytime you watch the shows i don't care if it's law and order whatever even these uh this investigative network with all these homicide things every it's not my imagination every case on the id network i've been watching these are all cases from 1995 1980 every case they pick the police commissioner is a lesbian there's always a gay

guy reporter commenting on the story that it's fucking priceless it's just oh nick you're just being a fucking alt-right guy go ahead razzy speaking of men being disrespected i have a patreon question for you oh yes it's a longer one it's a longer one oh i don't read that good adam from melbourne how many adams have we had in australia it seems men are losing respect for themselves and are ashamed of being men you think it's bad there adam are you shitting me it's the only macho country left. Is it the same in the USA? Very sad. Men are great and have done great things throughout history and created this beautiful Western culture, but no one ever mentions this. I hope men get their dignity back.

P.S. I love the Godfather references, especially your Brenda. Let me just say this, Adam. You're right. Men are turning out the pussies. My son Michael, because of this fag business, had to rent it. I don't. And when he comes back, if something happens, if he gets his dick stuck in his mouth, struck by a bolt of lightning, I am going to blame the fags in his room. What was it, Adam? Are you kidding me? Dude, you're living in the most macho country left at least i don't know your prime minister used to be a i'm not following your politics i don't know who it

is now but they used to used to come out and say some politically incorrect shit and every time i see you ass he's in a clip you're drunk and beating each other up or reviving a geico on a bar fucking a little lizard uh but no it's so horrible here are you kidding me it started here and you're right we're exporting it to the rest of the world i don't even know if it's us some people believe it's a plot to demasculate you know to emasculate uh the united states and their men i think it's working i mean you put on the food network jesus christ it's the gayest thing i've ever seen um and you're right men men have done yeah i mean it's the reason we run the planet it ain't never gonna change ladies i hate to bust your balls you might be president of some shit but like chris rock said as long as we can

knock you out he said that i never laughed so fucking hard i'll never forget that was catch your eye and snarl new york city uh but yes it seems to be a coordinated effort to deball the country and it works i can't take the friggin the feminist movement they can't leave it alone for five minutes every commercial again it's not about the product being sold it's about you're strong you're that's how it starts a woman hitting a heavy bag you're the you're the uh you know you're a mom you're the, you're the, you know, you're a mom, you're a fucking mechanic, you're a soccer goalie, you're, they're like superheroes, and, and, and it's just fucking exhausting, I can't, my, I can't watch TV with my wife, because she just tells me to shut the fuck up, how many commercials, you see the guy at home doing the wash, folding, and, and the wife comes in from work with a briefcase, just put a fucking dick on her and put a snatch

on him. Get it over. Tides for fags. And it's not that way. There's some of that, and of course veterans are great. Then women get, you know, because they were treated like shit, but let's stop with these superhero shit. You know what I mean? Let's stop with a, you know.

I saw a statistic. I'm watching ESPN, and it's running across the bottom. And some girl got voted MVP for the women's basketball. I don't know if it was college or whatever the fuck. Or, yeah, I think it was. Anyways, she had more assists and points in one year. And it says in Division I than in men or women's. See, you can't put that up there.

You can't put that up there. You can't put that up there because she couldn't compete against it. It's apples and oranges. Maybe mathematically that's a fact, but you can't. That's apples and oranges. Until she can do that against men, then you would put it up there. Do you get it? I sick i'm fucking talking about it and that's nothing against what i'm just saying oh i don't whoever runs hollywood there's some angry feminist bitch they do and the way they talk about white guys and shit it's just fucking unbelievable and how they're portrayed it's fucking hilarious to me anyways let's get to a white guy who got the coronavirus. Florida, man. What would we do without the state of Florida? There would be no show. Nothing else happens

anywhere. You know, people's houses don't fall in sinkholes in Vermont, New Hampshire. People on bath salts chewing each other's face off at bus stops. It doesn't happen in Utah or in fucking Texas. It's Florida. A guy fucking a pool float. We did that story. He's humping a pool float before you get on the shower. Yeah. Florida.

Shit doesn't. But this is corona related, so I thought I would talk about it. A Florida guy, uh, diagnosed with Corona virus claims. He was saved, uh, from certain.

Did I play my Pelosi? I just, I wanted to get these in a Pelosi. Um, well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a con ain't she? Doc, did I slip over? How do you mean that? I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc?

Did I slip over? How do you mean that? She likes a rigged game, you know what I mean? Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little cop in a shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Okay. How did I miss those?

Here we go. Florida man diagnosed with coronavirus claims he was saved from certain death by an anti-malaria drug titled as a possible treatment by President Trump. Okay. Even though they were trying to blame all this shit on Trump. But I am your voice. Him and Fauci are having a little... When you work for Trump, I don't, you know,

and Fauci's the expert. Obviously, he's been doing this for years and shit. But Trump is like, hey, we have to save the economy. He was kind of, you know, kind of edging that we're going to uh turn this around we're not waiting months we're not going to and and he's right we're not going to crater we're not going to destroy you destroy this economy destroy the car you think you want to see people dying wait till you go to a sonoco

station somebody sticks a gun in your face fighting over the run you know fucking clark bars um i i think he's right but fauci was getting a little nervous every time he speaks. And he wasn't at the press conference yesterday. Trump's like, no, he's busy, you know, talking about something else. Meanwhile, it's about it's about the it's about the fucking coronavirus. Oh, he's giving a lecture on bikini waxing. Anyways, the guy's name is Rio Giardinieri, 52,

struggled with horrendous back pain, headaches, cough, and fatigue for five days after catching COVID-19, possibly at a conference in New York. New York is a bullet right now. The doctor's at the Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital. When I think of good a bullet right now. The doctors at the Joe DiMaggio Children's Hospital. What the fuck?

When I think of good health care, I think of Joe DiMaggio. You know, I went to the Mickey Mantle Health Center and I lost two toes. Mookie Wilson has an urgent care thing set up in Queens.

Johnny Bench helped. Joe DiMaggio's Children's Hospital, they have a great coffee there, in South Florida, diagnosed him with a coronavirus and pneumonia, put him on oxygen in the ICU. After more than a week,

doctors told him there was nothing more they could do. And on Friday evening, G.R. Neri said goodbye to his wife and three children. He thought he was a god. I've never had pains like this before. Oh, this is the worst one I ever had, son.

Oh, it's the worst one. This is a big one. I'm dying. I was at the point where I was barely able to speak and breathing. Very challenging. Then a friend sent them an article about, you know, why can I fucking? Glasses? I think I got it.

Hydroxychloroquine. Hydrooxy. I say it at home. Chloroquine. Anyways,oxy... I say it at home! Chloroquine. Anyways, he swears it saved his life. I feel fantastic, and I have since I woke up on Saturday morning.

I know it sounds unbelievable. People are questioning me about it. He was almost dead. Pause for a second. He was almost dead. His friend sends him a you know an article and uh about the drug that's been used to treat malaria for decades and uh so he says to you know he says he contacted infectious disease doctor about the drug he gave the doctor gave him

all the reasons why he shouldn't use it because there were no trials there's no testing it was something that wasn't approved. And he said, look, I don't know if I'm going to make it until morning. Because at that point, he said he really thought it was coming to the end. He couldn't breathe. The doctor agreed and authorized the use of it. And 30 minutes later, the nurse gave it to him. After about an hour on the IV with medicine,

he felt like his heart was beating out of his chest. About two hours later, he had another episode where he couldn't breathe. He says he was given Benadryl and some other drugs, and that when he woke up at 4.45 a.m. that morning, it was like nothing ever happened. Go ahead. I woke up at 4.45 in the morning, and it felt like I had nothing. And I had to catch myself for a second and say, wait a minute, I'm breathing. This is not normal. And I realized I didn't have my fever anymore. So I hit the nurse call button at 445 and said, I'm fine. Can you send a nurse in?

I feel a little hungry. The nurse came in, took my vitals. And sure enough, my fever was gone. It was not able to be broken for nine days and then it was gone at 4 45 in the morning my only thing i had was i had a headache and and uh you know that lasted a couple days but all of their symptoms were completely gone uh my vitals were where they should be yes that's amazing rio first of all all right now i don't know nothing about that uh his friend saw was watching laura ingram show that's why he was on uh with

laura ingram his friend was watching and saw the uh you know story about the drug and uh you know that's so trump at a press conference yesterday said a couple days ago i think this is a game changer and then uh fauci jumped right in and said look we haven't tested it but trump's ready to go he's a man of action but he put on you put on cnn msnbc and they just get it you would think think Trump started this whole fucking thing. And he's doing nothing about it. And I'm reading celebrity tweets, he's assholes in Hollywood. He was late doing stuff.

And really? A week after he found out, he blocked flights from China. And you all call them a fucking racist. And even Fauci said that saved thousands of lives. Whatever. He's been right a lot, Trump. Okay. So that's interesting to see. Watch him fire Fauci now. Oh, that would be fucking brutal. No, Fauci's like his right-hand guy through this.

But he's on TV. Trump is on TV, sucking up the airwaves biden's sitting at home in a diaper eating fucking cream corn through a straw well joe you gotta get out there nobody even knows that you're the nominee how about bernie works his whole life and fucking bust his balls and then this thing comes along. He's not officially. Has he officially fucking dropped out? I don't even think so. We don't need to talk about as far as voting in November. We might have to mail him in and shit. I mean, this coronavirus is making a mess of things. I'm out of work. is making a mess of things. I'm out of work.

I already missed doing stand-up. I don't do stand-up. I get a little cranky around the house. Ask my cat who's in the hospital. I'm just kidding. I could have sworn I skipped over a Pelosi story, but I really, yes, I did. I did. I did. Here's something else she wants in the bill, this

fucking bile twat. Excuse my language. Where the fuck is it? There's something else she wanted in there. Here it is. Now they're all messed up. I have no idea where I'm going. Raz, good luck. Good luck.

Oh, this is what else that the evil witch from the West wants in the fucking bill. It would mandate nationwide ballot harvesting. You know what that is? Allowing party operatives to return other people's ballots to polling places without any limit on the number of ballots.

Does that sound even fucking right to you? That's when I wanted to do this. Well, I don't want to break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, ain't she, Doc? How do you mean that? She likes a rigged game you know what i mean is that not perfect for her look at her fingers she's like look do you believe i still touch myself with these things so it's ballot harvesting party operatives to return other people's ballots to polling places

without any limit on the number of ballots listen to this ballot harvesting i never even heard of it was legalized in where else california 2016 and first used in the 2018 midterm elections that's how they fucking stole the house it allows anyone raz to drop off someone else's mail-in ballot at a polling station there's no process for vetting or verifying those delivering the ballots no background checks or identification requirements democrats dropped hundreds of thousands of ballots off at a polling station polling stations in 2018 helping them flip the house the practice is illegal in most other states, largely because it is susceptible to fraud and intimidation. How can something be legal in one state,

as far as voting, and not in another state when you're having a national election? Can somebody help me out? Was that built in by the founders? Or is this a Johnny come lately? Does that even sound remotely fair? Republicans were caught flat footed in 2018. They experimented with the tactic in recent special elections only to find out that their voters, us deplorables, adamantly refused to give ballots to strangers, which is a stark difference between

the two parties. We don't trust anybody. You guys are all going to fucking open the borders, hold hands, sing Kumbaya. We're like, no, I'm bringing my fucking boat myself. You don't know. I'm not going to hand it off to a stranger. You know, they should make an announcement like they do at the airports. Anybody uh voting if anybody's asked you to carry your ballot uh democrats are more open to the practice naturally because it's filthy often because the harvester previously registered the voter according to the republican national committee uh sean steel california's ballot harvesting law has yet to be challenged in court. Why not? It is one reason that California remains a one party state with little. They don't even like

democracy in California. It's been a Democrat, a one party state forever. What does that tell you? It's you know, they say it's our way of the fucking highway. That's just a symptom of intolerance right there. Pelosi wants to take the system nationwide. Of course she does, the filthy hoe. Her bill released Monday afternoon provides that every state, and I, A, shall permit a voter to designate any person to return a voted and sealed absentee ballot to the post office a ballot drop-off location tribally designated building or election office so as long as the person designated to return the ballot does not receive any form of compensation based on the number of ballots that the person has returned

and no individual group or organization provides compensation on this basis who cares if they're paid or not? It's still fucking crooked. B, may not put any limit on how many voted. Are you hearing this? May not put any limit on how many voted in sealed absentee balance. Any designated person can return to the post office. A ballot drop off location of a designated building. In other words, paid party operatives can literally truck thousands and thousands of ballots to the polls provided they earn a salary or fee and are not paid by the ballot. You have to be fucking kidding me.

Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit-twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? It is a practice that is known in third-world countries as ballot-stuffing. And it is outlawed in every democracy, no matter how poor, even in countries where the physical administrative obstacles to voting are far greater than in the world's most developed economy.

But I take question with that. He says it's outlawed in every democracy. Well, no, they do it in California. Oh, we're not a democracy. Oh, we're kind of a representative republic. You can put it that way, I guess. But how can California do that and not other state how is that somebody fucking help me and that's what she wants in exchange for saving you guys from the coronavirus good time to fucking hold people huh at gunpoint and what does say that, what does it say that your, your, your politics is so extreme that the only way you can pass them is to have like something like this tragedy, the coronavirus thing. What a great time to get this through. As Rahm Emanuel said, let's use this crisis to benefit. That's how, you know what I mean?

A one-in-a-lifetime thing, hopefully, the corona thing, and they're like, ah, your life and whatever. Don't give a fuck about people. It's all about, Pelosi's disgusting. She's just fucking disgusting. Hey, let's lighten it up, up. Let's lighten this show up. A man has died and his wife in critical care after they ingested a chemical found commonly found in fish tank cleaner.

Thinking it was the miracle cure. President touted it at a press conference last week. What the fuck? They ate fish food. Banner Health, a nonprofit hospital system based in Arizona, issued a statement urging the public against the use of inappropriate Medicaid. It was fish tank cleaner. And it had that drug in it. i put that on my filet of fish they're delicious what the fuck why is everyone so fucking stupid

why aren't more people interrogating like me the couple both in their 60s were rushed to the hospital about 30 minutes after ingesting uhoquine phosphate, according to the statement. It is believed that they confused the chemical and additive often used at aquariums to clean fish tanks with... Why am I keep stumbling over this word? Hydroxychloroquine. What? I've been saying it fucking for two days. Hydroxychloroquine, an anti-malaria drug that's shown promising results in treating COVID-19.

They thought that was in that. So they, but even so, you still take it? I mean, what are you doing? What are you doing? Experts noted that the majority of people diagnosed with the coronavirus would recover without complications and that the routine use of specific treatments including medications described as anti-covid-19 is not recommended for non-hospitalized patients we are strongly urging the medical community community to not prescribe this medication to any non-hospitalized patients.

Hydroxychloroquine has not been proven as effective in battling COVID-19, but President Trump drummed up excitement over it when he called it a game changer. Dr. Anthony Fauci, the White House coronavirus expert, quickly followed Trump's comments by saying more work was needed before it could be heralded as as a solution. Well, we're waiting. Tell it to the guy in Florida. And the last story, be fucking waiting for your tests. Bye bye.

New York state officials are expected to begin trials with the medication on Tuesday, according to Cuomo. Meanwhile, many people across U.S. have praised the drug and credited it with saving their lives, albeit after they were prescribed it by doctors. Okay, does it work or doesn't it? Is it safe or isn't it? I know Fauci's the genius here, but he can be wrong about a few things.

If his fucking, if his daughter was dying from it, you think he'd go, we'll get a test. I'm not gonna. Come on, man. Mr. Fauci. Look what I did to my boy. Fed him. He sleeps with the fish food.

What the hell is this? Sicilian message. Hydrochloroquine. If my son should choke on fish food, get struck by a bolt of lightning, then I am going to blame Fauci. How about this poor woman? This was sad, but fuck. I'm going to do it anyways. A healthy 39-year-old social worker died after initially turning down a coronavirus test because she was told she was low risk.

That's what her boyfriend said in a heartbreaking Facebook post. Josh Anderson says he found girlfriend Natasha Ott dead in her apartment in New Orleans on Friday as she still awaited news on whether her sickness and fever were actually COVID-19. Excuse me. He said Ott, who helped people who are HIV positive, just a good person, naturally, had first told him on March 10th that she had a respiratory cold and tiny fever. They sent her home but didn't test her. She was told she was low risk, he wrote, calling his partner a profoundly kind, passionate, funny, loving 30-year-old woman. I believe that.

But they sent her home without fucking testing her. That's a get a lawyer, my friend. Counselor. Counselor. Her own clinic only had five test kits available. And this is the type of person she was. She said, I declined to take one so someone else could have it. That's why I'm a selfish prick. Learn a lesson. I'm kidding, obviously, but I'm not kidding. I'm

a selfish prick, but I'm just saying. Sometimes nice people do finish last. After her condition deteriorated, she finally got tested on March 16th, almost a week after first falling sick, but was told the results would take at least five days with a further delay, meaning they are still not ready. I'm very confused. I went to urgent care. They stuck a Q-tip up my nose, touched my brain center, and let me know like 20 minutes later.

I know that wasn't the COVID test, but Anderson detailed Ott's worsening mood and health, as well as her attempts to reassure him that she would be fine if she just drank some whiskey uh he finally found her dead in her kitchen at 8 p.m friday while checking up because she had failed to respond to texts can you imagine oh he warned that the government is ill prepared for this pandemic and in a a way that has and will cause lives while urging people to cherish their loved ones like you could lose them.

And this guy's speaking from experience. I know a thing or two about a thing or two. The time for joking about COVID-19 is over, he wrote. Sorry, I'm disagreeing on that one. Somebody has to have a sense of humor about it. But we feel for this poor guy. Can you imagine? But they sent her home. She worked at a place where they do HIV work, and you're low risk?

What does that mean? Anyhow. Anyhow, I think I've had enough of today. Let me do this uh let's do uh which one should we do yeah let's do lieutenant governor uh he's a grandparent lieutenant governor of texas his name is dan patrick no relation to the uh chooch on esp. I kid, Dan. Fella. Hell of a fella. Anyways, Lieutenant Governor, his quote is, grandparents would be willing to die to save the economy.

That's what he says. Where the fuck am I? Good for him. Dead man walking. No, I'm kidding. Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick on Fox News Monday said, man walking no i'm kidding texas lieutenant governor dan patrick on fox news monday said lots of grandparents would be willing to die in order to save the economy for their for their grandchildren he said uh what they're saying no one reached out to me and said as a senior citizen are you willing to take a chance on your survival in exchange for keeping the america that all

america loves for your children and grandchildren here's here's what he said we have the clip you know my message is that um let's get back to work let's get back to living let's be smart about it uh and those of us who are 70 plus we'll take care of ourselves but don't sacrifice the country don't do that and he's got a point you know if we share if this was if the economy shut down for the next like the next two or three months and they never coming back you'll see depression like shit you're talking 30 million people out of work and and and businesses that will never come back so at some point but that's the big question when is that point trump has this thing out there it's 14 to 15 days i don't know when he started that before they reassess if we can start living normally again, and people are shitting their pants, you know.

But not to be cold about it, we're gonna lose a few people in their 80s. You're always honking at them in traffic and giving them the bird anyways, do you really? I'm kidding. Love everybody. Let me tell you something. If I'm 85, if I was 85 right now and miserable i'd

fucking look for a nine-year-old chinese woman to stick my tongue down her throat at the duck market anyways i i i think it's a great point though right we we have to reassess give it a couple weeks but not much more people are work. I mean, the market's going in the toilet. I got a house to sell in New York, for Christ's sake. I'm going to have to show people the house with drones and shit. Look. Dead people in the woods around. Anyways, that is it for today.

Thank you guys again so much. Don't forget to contribute at nickdip.com. If you have a business would like to be a sponsor on the show tommy's lining up a few more new ones uh you can go to nickdip.com and uh we'll talk about it also sign up at patreon that's how you can support us monthly to keep the show going and again you'll get an extra story a day and uh you can ask me a question and you'll have access to the other shows uh that is it thank you guys so much uh don't forget camera.com time you know what it is i'm sick of talking about it uh remember you guys think it i've been saying it and paying

the price i'm 21 years old look at me we'll see you tomorrow guitar solo I'm out.