The Nick DiPaolo Show - More Black Washing | Nick Di Paolo Show #1389
Episode Date: April 27, 2023In this episode right leaning comedian Nick Di Paolo talks about a smart Ohio superintendent, blackwashing on Netflix and more! Like what you hear? Get TWICE as much "Nick Di Paolo Show", full epis...odes of Steven Crowder’s “Louder with Crowder” show and more on Mug Club! Sign up today to get all their content at https://NickDiPaoloShow.com and use the promo code NICKDIP to get your first month FREE! For Tour Dates, Merch, stand-up clips and more visit https://nickdip.com
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🎵 Keep your friends close, but your enemies close.
Yes, I will. Thank you very much.
That's the Pope sending me a message.
Folks, welcome to the big show.
How are you?
Great to be with you.
And I really mean that.
Yeah.
I was having coffee with the guy.
Yeah.
Anyways, what's going on?
Hey, check out my choppers.
They're finally back.
Holy shit.
Why do they look crooked?
Look, I got them all.
Excuse me.
Yeah, that was, oh, that only took about what, Dallas?
Ten months?
Jesus Christ.
What are they, carving out of whale bone?
Some guy.
Yeah, things move slow down here in Georgia,
especially when it comes to teeth.
They're in the hurry.
But I think the doctor did a good job.
He looks like he's in high school.
And I'm not saying that because I'm 61,
because most doctors are obviously younger than me at this point.
But this kid, it's like every time I look at him and he comes towards me,
it's like, you know who?
Opie Griffin.
Was that his name?
Ron Howard.
It's Opie Griffin.
Red hair, freckles.
Unbelievable.
The guy in the Mad Magazine.
So, yeah, I want to thank him.
And, you know, I'm going to St. Louis I'll have barbecue and I'll leave these
in a nice piece of chicken
Dallas won't tell me
and I'll go on stage
place will be going crazy
I'll have the teeth of a defenseman for the Canadians
which we all had in second grade
I remember writing a short story
about a girl I was in love with in second.
Why was I writing this?
This is an adult.
I still remember her name, Kathleen.
And I said, she had the teeth.
She had the teeth of a Montreal Canadian defenseman.
And she did.
They were banged out.
And I'm not just saying as a kid.
She kept them like that until high school.
I still wanted to get at her.
No. Fuck off. I just saying as a kid. She kept them like that until high school. I still wanted to get at her. No.
Fuck off.
I ain't that hard up.
Yeah, so that's done.
Busy day today.
And I don't know what day it is.
I say we get on with this goddamn show.
Oh, sorry.
That's the one thing.
And folks, I'm gonna do my best, I know, like, since I'm
playing to Crowder, there's some real conservative people who, that's the only one they don't like,
I've mentioned this earlier, and I'll do my best, but come on, I, you know, I go from that to the
C word and everything in between, so excuse me, my father was a pirate, I say the word, you cocksucker.
Anyways, let's get right to it.
None Dead in Ohio.
That's a play on that song if you're old enough.
Four Dead in Ohio and whatever.
I got a gig.
I was booked at a theater here in Georgia, I believe.
In Georgia, not Georgia.
Have a vodka and tonic,
you dink. I was booked a couple years ago, and all of a sudden, the last minute, they canceled me,
and we said, why? And they said, during one of my podcasts, I said, this is after the riots and the
cops doing nothing. I said, we need another Kent State. That didn't sit well. I just meant we need authority to start. I feel
the same way now. Keep watching Chicago. Keep commenting and showing it and not doing anything
about it and good luck to this country. A school district and rural area. Here's a guy trying to do
something. A rural area of Ohio will soon have at least one armed staff member at each of its four
schools, the district superintendent said.
How can that be bad news?
Don't you move, you motherfucker.
I'll blow your brains out.
That's what you should hear.
First of all, one at each school isn't enough because every time I've gone to a school,
there's 11 to 14 exits that they can come in, but I'm sure those are locked.
But yes, this is a start.
I say we have enough veterans and ex-police and train homeless
people if you have. Forget about them. Anyways, I'm just saying, well, maybe instead of doing a
gun buyback, maybe go to the gangbangers. Nah, they're used to drug money. They're not going to.
But I'm just saying, take your retired cops and vets, put them at all doors. Oh, Nick, that's
overkill.
No, it's not.
Can you hear the lefties?
You want more guns?
Is that the solution?
Well, let me ask you this, you dink.
If your fucking son or daughter
was at Parkland,
I'll pick any shooting,
in Tennessee a couple weeks ago,
would you have wanted the teacher
in the classroom with a gun or not?
That's the only question I got for you.
And if you answer it honestly, you know, and if you don't, you don't care about your kid.
Superintendent Adam Wicken of the River Valley Local School District in Caledonia.
Y'all fat fuckers.
Oh, take it easy.
Take it easy.
That's, you got, he sat on a wall and got pushed off by, how does it go?
Yeah.
Bunch of cops put them back together again.
Colin Quinn has a whole bit about that, a purpose sitting on a wall.
Anyways, in Caledonia, Ohio, about an hour north of Columbus, confirmed the new policy in a recent interview with the Marion Star.
Our schools will no longer be soft targets and unprotected, Wickham said.
Most active shooter events occur in areas of gun-free zones.
You know, who would have guessed?
All with minimal safety measures in place.
We want to ensure our schools will not be soft targets.
Wickman also stated that armed staff at each school is necessary in remote village-like Caledonia,
which may not be easily accessible for law enforcement in the event there's an active shooter,
as happened in Parkland, Florida, Uvalde, Texas, and most recently, Nashville, Tennessee.
Great point. As a rural community, response times can often be minutes away in the event of an
active shooter, Wickham explained. The use of armed staff in our buildings can potentially save lives.
Sounds like Nicholson in A Few Good Men. Why my existence is repugnant here, it saves lives.
Providing a more immediate response to this.
I've got to get that jack fixed, motherlies.
And it's a nice town.
These are the towns they always use on those murder shows,
just to let you know that your town's as evil as any inner city neighborhood.
Murder in the Heartland, that's the name of the show. Evil lives here. Your mother's a twat. All those shows.
Wickham said that each school in the district, two elementary schools, one middle school,
and a high school, will have at least one armed teacher or staff member, which sends libs crazy.
They go nuts.
What if the gun accidentally goes up?
They bring in these, you got the fucking mind
of a 98-year-old grandma who smokes weed.
What if, shut it.
How's a guy, what if a kid gets a hold of it?
You lock the drawer.
Quit making it more complicated than it is.
What if the kid gets a gun? What if he does and he goes, look, I don't, he get called to the blackboard, I ain't got that answer.
I ain't.
Before carrying a firearm on a River Valley campus, of course, here comes the 40 hours of training and the 11, which I sort of understand.
Do like me.
No lessons.
Just go to the gun range after you buy the gun twice and then put it under your bed for three years and hope you remember.
Dude, you got to refresh my memory on the AR.
Anyways, carrying a firearm on River Valley campus, designated teachers and staff must first undergo 200 light years of firearm,
24 hours of firearm training in accordance with the new state law.
Last June, Governor Mike DeWine, you remember him, Republican, signed, again, a guy who, I can't make my mind up about him,
again a guy who I can't make my mind up about him signed House Bill 99 he's right on this one into law which gives individual school districts the options
to permit armed staff on school campuses wow they give them a choice how horrible
huh Democrats how horrible unless it's you know killing a baby which you can do
with a nice handgun, too.
Much cleaner than a goddamn dirt vac.
Oh, for the love of God, Nick, we don't.
Oop.
See, I said God.
Can you imagine that's the word I'm looking for?
That's what I'm worried about.
Every Democrat in Ohio, House and Senate,
voted against the bill, of course.
Despise it with every fiber of my being.
Well, every Republican voted for it,
meaning that the measure passed easily since Republicans hold a sizable majority
in both chambers.
No pun intended.
Ha ha.
Little pa-pang humor for you.
I'm all for it.
I think it's a good move.
How you can not want some adult arm there.
And I don't care if it's on the perimeter.
Even if it is on a perimeter, teachers too, man.
We saw, was it Uvalde, how the cops who are chicken shit, they might get past the first
line of defense.
And many teachers have died in these things also.
So let's put it to the people who we should be asking in the first place okay Democrats okay I asked you a question why am I saying that you
know watch it hey in the second half of the show I'll be talking about more NBA
thuggery and again more trannies who won't shut the fuck up, in my opinion. Not to be disrespectful.
It's exclusively on Mug Club.
So join now at nickanddip.com.
All right?
Blackwashing is the headline of the next story.
Blackwashing what?
Don't say my car that's racist.
I'm saying don't say that. Dallas had a held up a, no.
Some citizens of Egypt are in a snit. I didn't even know they had snits in Egypt.
Over an upcoming Netflix docudrama about the, why would you watch any docudrama on Netflix or anything else that comes out on it? Well, I shouldn't say that. Was Yellowstone on there? No, thank you. Anyways,
you know who writes this shit, especially docudramas. They're going to twist that into
a pretzel, about the life of Egypt's last pharaoh, Cleopatra, because the title character is portrayed as a black woman, despite most historical evidence indicating that she was fair-skinned and of Greek descent.
Is that her who's playing it?
That's her.
I'm going to be honest with you, Dallas.
You know more about history.
I'm going to be honest with you, Dallas.
You know more about history.
I didn't know, first of all, I didn't know Greeks, the guy says in his article, you know, blonde hair.
And, you know, I got to believe that because Italians,
believe it or not, Italians started out with red hair, I believe.
And then just for guineas came out with that dye.
Just for grease balls.
Picture a season. Just for grease balls. Picture of C's on them.
The complaint alleges that Queen Cleopatra,
excuse me,
they think she looked like Queen Latifah, apparently,
billed by Netflix as documentary series
with Jada Pinkett.
Jada Pinkett, need I say more?
The most hateful chemo patient on the planet.
Seriously, she's a racist,
hates white people to a core, and she's everything that's wrong with America. And you know it because
you married Will Smith. With Jada Pinkett Smith, I hope Will doesn't see this, I'll get bitch slapped,
as the executive producer, is riddled with historical inaccuracies and
perpetuates historical misconceptions about the origins of the Queen
The show the second season of the series titled African Queens
amounts to cultural appropriation of Egyptian Egyptian heritage some of the critics
Claim I know a thing or two about a thing or two.
Look at the hair on the right.
Is that how they wore it back then?
Huh?
Were they going to Aisha's hair salon on MLK?
What is she trying to pick up cable?
You could pick her.
What the fuck?
What is that?
That looks like a burnt soft pretzel at LaGuardia.
And then you got Terrell Owens on the left and Diana Ross in the middle.
Yeah, that's what it looked like.
A former antiquities minister of Egypt,
archaeologist Zahi Hawass,
has been quoted by Egyptian press outlets
as saying that the series is inaccurate
and called on Netflix to halt the release.
Yeah, that's going to happen.
Halt anything black people expect in the coming weeks.
The notion that Cleopatra was a black woman
is completely fake, Mr. Hawass told the Egypt Independent.
Cleopatra was Greek, meaning that she was blonde,
not black.
Here she's seen with a Japanese fella from World War II, asking for directions.
A similar controversy from the other end of the cancer culture wars erupted three years ago,
and the Israeli actress Gayle Gadot, who's smoking hot, announced that she would be
producing and playing Egypt's
most famous woman in an upcoming
film.
Liberal critics accused
her of whitewashing.
She's Israeli,
isn't she? And insisted
that an Arab or black actress,
because there's a ton of them.
Well, there are, who, Viola
Davis?
Who are you gonna get? Esther Aul's dead. All the ones I like. She was from Good Times.
I look at the Alex and I think he's older than I am. It's so funny. I'm gonna keep making this
mistake. Insisted that an Arab or black actress should play the character and And of course, the Egyptians said to that.
That was from TMZ.
That's Gail Gadot playing Cleopatra.
And black people,
how dare you?
You fucking go nuts
if we, you know,
if we eat ribs.
You're saying we're,
whatever,
we wear Nikes.
You say we're, you know,
appropriating.
How fucking dare you?
But you can get away with it because there's a bunch of pussies running Hollywood, Netflix, chicken shit, white people.
Nick, calm down. I can't help it. Cleopatra was the last in a long line of offspring of Alexander the Great's general.
How do you say that, Dells? Ptolemy. Ptolemy. I know the P was silent like Saki.
And so was not even Egyptian.
Who
was an Egyptian?
She was Greek. Yeah, we cleared that
up for you. You can tell by the armpits.
Fucking braided those just like
that black woman did.
For the love of God,
you know,
I remember on Tough Crowd, we were talking
about black culture, and there was a black
female comic,
I forget who it was, but she said,
our culture is of kings and queens.
Now, I don't remember if I said this on
the show or in the green room,
and I said without missing a beat, yeah,
Dairy Queen and Burger King.
Damn it! Dairy Queen
and Burger King is what I said.
And God, if I said that right now, you guys
would be laughing instead of throwing shit at the TV.
I think I could play kind of a dyke-y
Cleopatra.
Hey, the other big laugh
I got as far as Egyptians,
Keith Robinson, a close buddy
of mine, black comedian, very, very
funny. Me and him always argue because
he's a lefty, watches MSM. Come on, man, you're a racist. And we would always fight at the comedy.
And we started arguing about that. I go, you ain't got no culture. What do you mean, man?
Who built the pyramids? I go, yeah, they were supposed to be square. Manny Dwarman, who owned
the comedy cell, the late great Manny Dwarman, who's Jewish, almost fucking shit his... I've
never seen a guy laugh for like five minutes straight.
And then not even, I'd say a year and a half, not even later, I see them make that joke
in an insurance commercial.
And yeah, they got it from me because, um, we, I found out when I lived in LA that, and
you know, commercials, ad agencies always rely on humor.
They would send people to the comedy store to grab a premise, which is smart, actually.
But don't tell me anybody else had that thought
that was supposed to be squished.
Come on.
Nobody could be that racist but me.
It's not even racist.
It's just funny.
Even he laughed.
Oh, you got me, you guinea bitch.
That's the type of talk we had.
And why people loved the tough crowd so much.
For those of you on Mug Club,
stick around for the second half of the show.
Everyone else, go to nickdip.com
and join to get my full show
and Steven Crowder's full show
and a lot more.
And while you're there,
get tickets to see me live
at Daytona Beach, Florida Florida May 12th in Arlington
Virginia at the uh what is it called that uh uh I plugged it yesterday I'm panicking
anyways Arlington Virginia July 14th at 50 at the Draft House there you go guitar solo guitar solo Bye.