The Nick DiPaolo Show - More COVID CHAOS Coming! | Nick Di Paolo Show #577
Episode Date: July 27, 2021Biden's Brain Badly Broken. French-Style Fascism. TA-TAs a No-No in Olympic Coverage....
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Hi boys and girls, Nick DiPaolo here.
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Thank you so much.
It's really happening. Oh, oh! Oh, my God. Wow, things are really heating up on Beat Bobby Flay. Oh yeah, well, well, well, welcome back.
I miss you guys.
Seems like it's been a while. How are you?
It's Tuesday in Georgia. I don't know what it is in a resident country because, I mean, we do our own thing down here, you know what I'm saying?
With low boils and whatnot. Good to be back, I guess, you know?
I'm good. You know what? I wet my ass with your feelings.
All right, I'll start already.
You're entitled to shit.
Yeah, they don't get you in a mood. Don't you feel like saying...
How many times is that in your head when you watch the news and BLM's talking? You're entitled to shit. Yeah, they don't get you in a mood. Don't you feel like saying...
How many times is that in your head when you watch the news and BLM's talking?
You're entitled to shit.
How about reparations?
You're entitled to shit.
How about a $15 minimum wage?
You're entitled to shit.
How about all you white people that send your kids to Ivy League schools,
take them out so black people can go?
You're entitled to shit.
That's actually a story, by the way, that I don't think I'm doing,
but because we already have too much.
So how was your, I don't know, five days?
Might as well have been a regular weekend to me.
I think I took a nap and I woke up this morning.
That was about it.
God damn it.
Time's flying. I just see, I picture myself being cremated in like eight minutes.
It's just fucking, just a puff of fucking hate in the air. One sad note, I lost my uncle Ernie,
a guy named Ernie Bianco. He was my dad's best friend. I mean, best, he wasn't a blood uncle,
but he was more of an uncle to me than my blood uncles for the most part. Most gentle man you ever want to
meet. And he lived across the street from us forever. And just one of these guys that do
anything. Uncle Ernie, rest in peace. I don't think I've ever met a nicer person in my life. All right, let's get to it.
What's happening in the world?
I don't know.
The same nonsense, different people.
I can't believe Joe Biden.
The 25th Amendment, you know, when you people, the Congress feels that the president isn't fit for
office, if you're not using this now, when would you use it? What does a guy got to do? A president
shit his pants during a fireside chat or during a state of the, what are you going to do to invoke
the 25th Amendment? This poor prick has lost his mind.
Again, my dad died of Alzheimer's.
I think he was sharper than this guy is.
It makes for great comedic fodder, I understand.
But does it not send a chill up your ass?
He's the leader of the free world.
All the shit they projected on Trump, not fit mentally, physically, all of it, everything, racist.
You can throw it right back on Joe Biden, only it's true in this case.
His brain's fucking broken.
Joe Biden on Monday delivered remarks on the 31st anniversary of the Americans with Disabilities Act from the Rose Garden.
He must get a chill up his ass.
Right there, he's going, wait a minute, disabilities. I can't do what I did a few
years ago. I told a guy to stand up and he was in a wheelchair, paralyzed. That's a true story.
As usual, Joe Biden got confused and forgot a congressman's name. It's funny what he does here.
He begets the guy's last name. So he says Paul and then tries to pass it off.
He's just a fucking confused guy.
What are we doing?
What's going on right now?
Then Biden got confused whether a guest mother was attending.
He's probably calling for his own mother at this point.
They say a guest mother.
But take a look at this.
And again, remind yourself, this is the leader of the free world.
Chairman Leahy.
Yeah.
Leader McCarthy.
What?
Senator Casey.
Hello.
Congressman Scott.
Congressman.
Where is he?
Where is he?
There you are, Paul.
Oh, yep.
You understand this better than anybody does.
I want to thank you, Congressman, for all your work.
And I want to thank you all for being here.
Second, by the way,
where's Mom?
She's home laughing at you. She's 172.
Oh, she's watching. Okay, I thought
she was looking up from hell.
I was going to ask her to stand up, but Mom,
you can't stand up if you're home.
So the
guy's mom can't stand up if she's home?
What, does she live in a fucking two
by two box why can't she stand hello hello hello anybody oh joey joey joey why is your brain so
snowy somebody come up with another word anyways what a jack off
unbelievable
wow
he just a gift
that keeps on giving
mom mommy
mommy hello dad
uh uh congressman
uh uh
paul yeah how do you spell your last name Dad? Congressman Paul.
Yeah.
How do you spell your last name?
Fucking ass.
Can you imagine?
You're going to tell me they carry that nuclear football in a suitcase,
like with the buttons where you can put it?
Can you imagine?
He's going to think it's his fucking medical alert bracelet.
Going to fall and push that with smoke.
the fucking medical alert bracelet.
I'm going to fall and push that with smoke.
Anyways, that's Joe Biden,
leader of the free world.
And you know what?
He's making his own party nervous.
They know.
I think they've overplayed the hand already because I'm reading these articles.
Midtown massacre worrying Democrats.
Democrats are worried about winning the 2022
midterm elections after republican state legislatures reformed 30 election integrity
laws in 18 states and additional legislation uh may come later on good about time you get
off your ass and did something now you know you know, these are the laws, you know, really, really unfair laws.
Like it's asking people to show an ID when they vote.
I mean, outrageous shit.
And of course it's directed at black people because this country is as racist now as 1855.
Shut it.
Suck it.
That was 1855.
Shut it.
Suck it.
CEO of the Stacey Abrams founded New Georgia Project.
This is her first name.
NSE with an accent line.
Ufot.
There she is.
You can tell she has great judgment just the way she fucking dresses.
You fat nasty black bitch.
Anyways, look at that. Let's study that for a second.
You can't judge a book by its cover?
Has she ever?
Just looking at that you're going, she can't make a good decision.
Nick, yeah you can.
First of all, she's all tattooed up.
I don't know who the fuck she is.
Nobody ever voted for her.
She got welder's glasses on.
Her left arm is tiny. Can't even
diddle her big giant clam with that thing. Anyways, this fat fuck told Politico, if there
isn't a way for us to repeat what happened in November 2020, meaning stealing the election
by letting everybody mail their shit in, that's why you see masks coming back and all that shit.
They'll keep that up till November 2020,
till about another year,
and then we'll have the election.
But she actually said this.
If we can't do what we did in November 2020,
we're fucked.
Nice talk.
Do you blow your dad with that mouth, you pig?
LaTosha Brown,
let me guess, Karen? Latasha Brown, co-finder of Black Voters Matter.
When you say Black Lives Matter, doesn't that cover black voters, told Politico that, in quotes, hope is quickly turning into frustration.
It's a frustration.
She then asked, when in the hell are those, she says, when in the hell are those that claim they are committed to democracy going to show up to protect those that protect democracy.
Shut your fucking mouth!
Exactly.
Shut the fuck up, you cunt!
They've already showed up.
You know who they are?
They're right in front of your face.
It's the Republicans, who I don't even like anymore either, but it's the ones trying to
pass legislation to make sure this is fair, the next election.
That's protecting democracy,
not stealing the fucking presidential election
and then saying, how can we do it again in November of 2022?
You're not protecting anything, you asshole.
Even black people, by the way,
black people, brown people,
the majority of all stripes in this country are for more integrity election laws.
So, I mean, read the papers.
Look at the two-car garage in her face.
Anyways, why do you got to go there, Nick?
That's an ad hominem attack.
Yeah, I know.
It's the internet.
You get to do shit like that.
I know, it's the internet.
You get to do shit like that.
Along with multitude of states that have successfully passed
new election integrity measures,
such as voting ID and early voting requirements,
more than 400 bills
with election integrity provisions
have been introduced in 49 states
in the 2021 legislative sessions.
Now, let's think about that.
49 states?
That must include like Pennsylvania,
where they stole it,
and Fulton County and Georgia
and all those other, Arizona.
Even they're passing those.
So what does that tell you?
Last time I checked,
Pennsylvania was not run by Republicans, by the way.
Other states with pending legislative sessions, such as California, Massachusetts, Michigan, North Carolina, New Jersey, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Maine, still have election integrity measures waiting to be passed.
Well, what are you waiting for?
waiting to be passed.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Well, if we do that,
Black Lives Matter is going to get upset and there'll be 12 white bloggers
who'll get something on Twitter
saying we're racist
and then that'll turn into...
That's how the world works
if you don't know yet.
Fucking.
Maine?
How do you...
How does...
What the Dems are saying
that is if you...
You know, black people
aren't smart enough to get IDs apparently. But how does, what the Dems are saying that is if you, you know, black people aren't
smart enough to get IDs apparently, but how does that affect Maine? There's two black guys in Maine,
Eric and Dave. They live in Lewiston. Anyways, the Republicans' successful approach has caused
President Joe Biden and his congressional allies to push legislation to federalize state and local elections,
putting more power in Washington via wrestling control from local communities,
you know, the way the Constitution meant it to me, where accountability is greatest.
God fucking damn them.
You fucking people.
You have no idea how to defend a nation.
Out of my head.
idea how to defend a nation.
Out of my head.
But Senate Republicans defeated Biden's so-called,
again, what did I tell you about the names of these bills?
For the People Act.
Why don't you put for the Colored
People Act?
By a filibuster in June.
And I'll repeat it again, even black people
want
laws that make sure these elections are fair and brown people.
The defeat has thrown the battle over election integrity back to the states with the restrictions advanced by Republicans affect so many facets of voting that Democrats cannot agree on which provisions are the most problematic.
Oh, so we're doing what they do.
Throw a ton of shit against the wall.
So much you overwhelm them.
Like when the Democrats pass a bill,
a simple bill,
and it's literally 2,200 pages that you have to read it
so people don't read it.
I guess we're trying that method.
How in Christ is that racist in 2021
to ask people,
and that's the big argument, to show
a photo ID.
You need one to get a bottle of Ripple.
You need one to get a
get a
fucking Lincoln.
Nick, those are sterile.
No, I like both those.
I drank Ripple in high school
and I stole a Lincoln
just to show I was cool.
I had a Cadillac.
My dad had a Cadillac.
I think it was my second car
that I got to drive around
all the time.
It was a great,
like 1972,
one of those silver Cadillacs.
I mean, you could have
a fucking orgy in the backseat those silver Cadillac. I mean, you could have a fucking
orgy in the backseat and still be room, which I tried and three guys showed up. What? It
was my favorite car, man, ever. I was going down the highway. True story. My cop buddy
Zook, the guy from Miami's in the front seat with me. I think my sister was in the back.
We're heading to a cookout in Topsfield, Massachusetts. I'm doing about 85, and we have a blowout.
It was one of the back tires, which normally, if you do that today,
there's going to be something.
Your car is going to fucking do a death tumble or something.
This thing didn't even – it was so heavy, it didn't even –
it sounded like somebody popped bubblegum in the backseat.
I just gently pulled it over.
Those days ago.
It had a 472 Cleveland in it.
No, I don't know what kind of...
That's the only engine I fucking remember.
My friends called it the Grey Ghost.
Oh my God, the sex I had in that.
The girls that never get away alive.
Sex.
The sex I tried to have in that.
Had a girlfriend for two years that wouldn't give it up.
My balls were fucking bluer than Delaware.
A man goes to a party.
Let's move on, shall we?
What's the headline here, ladies ladies and gentlemen Pfizer affecting fun bags
what are fun bags they're tits where did you guys grow up get this women who have had the
Pfizer vaccine are reporting an unexpected side effect claiming their breasts have grown bigger
after having the jab really hey everybody we're everybody, we're all going to get laid.
You know what? I think I'm for mandatory vaccines. I just changed my mind. A lot of
titless wonders out there. Get a double jab. Go for the supersize it. That's a good picture
right there. That's me hiding mine at the pool. Pfizer is one of two vaccinations currently being rolled
out across Australia in the fight against COVID-19. You know, Australia is one of those great
countries. They're like us. They love their freedom and shit, but their government, this is a world
movement, folks. Can I, let me remind you, this is a global movement. I'll get to France in a few seconds, what went on over there. But this is a global movement. If you want to call it socialism,
whatever. It's not just this country. They want everybody to bow to the mighty elites,
the eight people that run the planet. Common side effects from COVID-19 vaccines include pain at the injection site, headaches, fatigue, or feeling flu-like symptoms.
That's funny.
That's been the symptoms of every goddamn thing I've ever had in my life.
And I'll remind you again, COVID is just a flu.
Get it?
Get the fuck over it.
Get it?
Get the fuck over it.
What a scam on a global level.
But many women have noticed their breasts and lymph nodes had swollen.
Maybe I should stick one into my cock.
They had swollen after receiving their jabs,
dubbing the effect the Pfizer boob job.
Is that the best you can come up with? I like it.
Uh-huh.
You see all the streets.
Left and right.
I like it.
Goes out to Bill Clinton.
I love his song.
I'll tell you.
Anyways, yeah, apparently their boobs are getting bigger.
We all know it's a side effect.
You got lymph nodes, they swell up.
According to Australian Department of Health, inflamed lymph nodes are a less common side effect of the vaccinations.
In the United States, where the vaccination rollout is further along than Australia,
doctors have reported an influx of newly vaccinated women making mammogram appointments.
Dr. Laura Esserman, director of University of California, San Francisco's Breast Care Center,
said women were confusing swollen lymph nodes after the vaccine for signs of cancer.
Really? And you wonder why men run the planet.
signs of cancer.
Really? And you wonder why men run the planet.
It's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
It's so stupid.
That's not fair. I would get nervous too.
But soon as I found out it was nothing serious,
wouldn't you get another jab?
Go from an A cup to like a double D.
All the guys watch you at the freshman mixer.
A study published by the Radiological Society of North America recently concluded vaccine-induced lymphadenopathy was an important
side effect for clinicians, patients, and cancer researchers to be aware of as it could result in a false cancer diagnosis.
While it's not clear how long it takes for the swelling in some women's lymph nodes to go down,
it is clear there are a lot of happy husbands floating to work. No, it is important to note
it is a temporary effect, unfortunately. In Australia, women over 50 have grown giant cocks.
In Australia, women over 50 who require regular mammograms
have been advised to either have mammogram first
or delay it until six weeks after the vaccination
to avoid any confusion.
And by then, you'll probably be dead.
So don't worry about it.
Six weeks, yeah, let that...
What causes the swelling?
Purple nurples.
Now, when people have vaccines in their upper arm,
it's normal for the lymph nodes in the armpit
on that side of the body to be activated and swell.
I'm saying this.
I fake being a doctor.
Yeah, out of college.
I hung out at Fannin Hall in Boston.
I told girls I was a doctor.
Come on up to my office.
Why do you have a kiss poster in your office?
It's your body preparing. When you get your arm? It's your body preparing.
When you get that swelling, it's your body preparing a protective immune response.
The conversation, that's what they reported.
And all the great doctors, do you believe them?
I don't know.
Who the fuck are you?
Are you writing a book?
Who the fuck are you?
I'm a doctor.
According to the Royal Australian Water Magazine, I don't know what it is, a New Zealand college of radiologists,
this type of swelling has not been reported
with the AstraZeneca vaccine.
So if you want to keep your small titties,
go with AstraZeneca.
I think that's their motto now.
If you don't want to look like your dad
with his shirt off working the grill in July,
swelling has been recorded in the United States with a Moderna
vaccine, which is currently undergoing approval for use in Australia by the Therapeutic Goods
Administration. Social media has exploded with reports from women stating their breasts had
gotten bigger, many wondering if they were imagining their symptoms. This one girl said, I feel like my boobs got bigger because of Pfizer, or am I just hallucinating?
She said after her third mushroom.
I can confirm from personal experience, another one says, that Pfizer does indeed make your boobs grow, another stated on social media.
Another stated on social media.
While one wrote, can confirm that Pfizer vax makes your boobs grow FFs?
Fucking fast?
I don't know.
Or double FFs.
I don't know.
On TikTok, others have shared videos of their breasts.
I was looking at them all yesterday doing research for this article.
About two and a half hours worth.
Sean Brass, after being vaccinated with a woman in the UK,
reporting she had gone up two cup sizes from an A to a delicious C.
Bon appetit.
Side effects are worse than we originally thought for women.
There's some real side effects. Check these
pictures out here. And these are women, keep in mind. Look what happened to these broads.
Oh, my God. They got beer bellies in here, all of them. Oh, my goodness.
That guy or the girl on the left, those are disgusting.
On a guy or a woman.
Those are the classic 1972 National Geographic tits.
That's the white version.
Remember that?
That was a porn for us young kids that grew up.
That was our porn.
The first time you saw a tit, he's National Geographic.
I couldn't get it. When I was in college,
I couldn't get a nut off if a girl wasn't
carrying a bucket of wood on her head.
And some food back to the village.
Who's having
my next
my new
my new
You've done it again.
Please Oh my God, guys. My house. My house. My house. You ain't done it again. Please.
Oh, my God, guys.
My house.
My house.
My house.
Oh, every day there's fucking people pouring in.
Asking me questions I have no idea how to answer.
Where's the shutoff valve?
Who the fuck is that?
But she even been in the fucking bathroom.
I don't know.
You guys are the experts.
Figure it out.
Plumbers get paid like fucking surgeons now.
You figure it out.
Not fun.
This kitchen better be worth it.
I digress.
I don't know.
Hey, Matt, I want you to talk into the microphone.
How was Disney World?
It was very crowded and very hot,
and they are lying about operating at reduced capacity.
That's the only reason you went.
You were thinking the lines were going to be short, right?
Yeah, my wife thought we'd be able to kind of get in and out and spend half days there
and whatever.
And everything was like 90 minutes long.
Are you fucking kidding?
Not to get on a ride.
To get on a five minute ride.
See, that's why I've never been there and never care to go.
And I think it's why I didn't have kids.
I was listening to some employee that was there.
He was in the line on his off hours talking to his friends,
saying that they're operating with 40% staff
because they can't get college kids to come back.
Let's not.
And what that results in somehow
is that none of their shows are open so his claim is that 40 staff college kids gone they can't get
the 30 and 40 year olds to come back to play characters in their musicals so they're full
of oh god sound like a good time 90 minutes. 90 minutes. I wouldn't wait 90 minutes if frigging...
Who's hot?
Megan Fox was giving out blowjobs at the mall.
I'm very impatient.
There could be three people in line getting blowjobs from Megan Fox,
and I'd just go, I'm going to the Thai Plaza.
Fuck this.
I can't imagine.
I would never love my kid that much. God, that sounds horrible. Let me talk to your wife. She
dragged you down there, right? It was their anniversary, folks. 41 years. What a bliss.
That just sounds fucking horrendous. Anyways, let's stay on covid because that's sort of
dominated the news um headline smacks for the pro-vax do you believe young people are buying
into this shit and i blame you fucks who were still wearing your mask and never took them off
this is my theory on that the assholes that run the world, whoever, you know, the Fauci's, they looked out and went, you know what?
There's still, there's people still wear masks after we told them they could take them off.
We're not going to stop here.
You know, let's bring it back quicker than we were going to wait to the fall.
But look at these idiots.
God, I still see them.
Don't you just want to go, what is your problem?
And here's the other thing I noticed.
Even in the New York Post, which is supposed to be sort of right-leaning,
every day there's a front-page story.
Guy who said COVID was a hoax dying from...
I can prove it.
Fly him to my house.
New video.
Anti-mask protesters and counter-protesters, including Southern California Antifa,
fought Thursday outside a breast cancer clinic in Los Angeles
over the requirement that patients wear masks at that clinic.
So there's a bunch of people who think like myself and you that know it's a bunch of horseshit.
They went there to protest the clinic and Antifa showed up.
The biggest cowards and pussies, they show me nothing when it comes to violence. I mean,
if it ever came down to that, you guys don't have a prayer. You fight like fucking girls.
You know, wait till our veterans on our side, former vets who, you know, did a couple tours
in Iraq come out. That's going to happen happen eventually but so these guys uh let's take a look at some and i'm just watching this going boy have they
done a number on us they you know this this mask and not mask is all about dividing it's just
another tool to divide us and i'm watching this going boy they have to be laughing let's take a
look at this It almost looks fake. Watch the two brothers square off.
Yeah!
That made me feel good.
Stop it!
You're pulling his hair and stuff.
Did that look violent to you?
Is that some of the gayest fighting ever?
You know how it's not a real brawl
when there's a girl with her phone
like in the middle of it, filming?
Nobody cold cocks her?
I'm not saying I would, but I'm saying in a real fight.
I've seen it in a comedy club.
I was at Gotham Comedy Club, and a fight broke out.
I think I've told this before.
Had nothing to do with me for once.
Nothing to do with what I said.
I didn't say anything on stage.
One table was being loud. Another table told me
shut the fuck up. They both had girlfriends and guys at both tables. Next thing I know,
I hear crash, boom, bang. Like four people, eight people in a melee. And there's a woman
in the middle of it swinging on people, like swinging. I watched the doorman. I'm not going to say who he is. I watched the doorman just
casually walk over and knock this fucking lady, dropped her like a used rubber with
a punch like she was throwing right to her head. And I just sat there on the stool. I
had nothing to do with it. I've had many of those where I had something to do with it.
Colin Quinn knew I was at Caroline's. I think it was a Saturday night. He walked by. He was
going to go do a gig somewhere. He goes by Caroline's and this cop car is up front with
the lights on. He starts laughing his balls off. Sure enough, I was on stage, and I did some Latin,
some joke about Mexicans
or whatever the fuck,
and some girl,
the editor of Latina magazine,
threw a fucking glass
from the back trying to hit me.
It exploded on a table.
There's a people,
a whole family from like Atlanta
in the front table.
Just fucking glass shatters. And all hell breaks loose. We go out in the fucking lobby. She's still
screaming to me and the cops put her right in cuffs. And Colin said he laughed his balls off
because he knew my name was on the marquee. Because it had happened in Seattle like a year
earlier. Anyways, it's a dangerous, if you do comedy right,
it can get kind of hairy sometimes.
Anyhow, when I have time, I'll tell you another story.
At Caroline's, it's the one time that I was on stage
and I was shitting my pants thinking I was going to fucking have my life ended
by a guy whose neck was thicker than my waist,
had a scaly cap on, he was like a union guy,
decided to take his jacket off.
Caroline has a gay black guy as the bouncer
because he comes floating over.
I'm like, I'm fucking dead.
Anyways, so it's good.
Did you see the two black guys square off?
That means we got, and there was a black woman
leading the anti-vaxxers, saying it's a scam.
And there was white people.
It's bringing us together on some level.
Black people, you're right about this.
Well, not the ones that say, I'm not getting it because of Tuskegee Airmen.
But I'm saying, well, you're sort of right.
I wouldn't trust the government.
But you know what?
There's passports.
I'm telling the story soon about France.
These passports are starting to come out. Just be prepared, man. This is not going away.
French-style fascism is what I call it. France's parliament, this is over the weekend,
approved a law early Monday, last Monday, requiring special virus passes, oh, here it comes, for all restaurant and domestic travel,
and mandating vaccinations for all their health workers.
You know that's headed here.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
Anything that's happening here is coming here, and vice versa.
Both measures have prompted protests and political tensions.
President Emmanuel Macron
and his government say
they are needed to protect
vulnerable populations
and hospitals as infections rebound
and to avoid new lockdowns.
You're lying.
And you're a piece of shit.
Here he is being asked how big his
cock is.
Macron.
Why is France always doing the ball
this thing?
Didn't you learn anything from WW2?
Huh?
You're going to go along with this global
instead of it being
Hitler this time. Now it's the World Health
Organization and the UN.
Frankly, I trust Hitler before I trust those scumbags.
I'm just kidding, Jewish people.
He was terrible.
The guy had an attitude like you read about.
The law, this is in France,
requires all workers in the health care sector
to start getting vaccinated by September 15th or risk
suspension. It also requires a health pass to enter all restaurants, trains, planes, and some
other public venues. It's coming, folks. It's coming. That way they can isolate me and the
people who actually think for themselves and don't want the fucking, and don't believe the stories,
hey, this guy Bill was bad-mouthing, saying it was a hoax,
and he's dying of it.
Okay.
It's like the electric chair.
If it takes one innocent guy to die for us to get 100 right,
I just hope you're not that fucking guy.
Nick, what kind of logic and thinking?
I learned it from Lori Lightfoot.
So you need a pass in Paris.
You know what that's going to do, by the way, to your tourism, you mama Luke?
So anybody out there who has good skills in making fake passports and shit,
give me a call.
I'm not getting that fucking shot, man.
I will blow a guy in China that has the fucking COVID virus and swallow
before I let the goddamn government put something
into my arm. It will initially, it applies to all adults, but will apply to everyone 12 and older
starting September 30. Oh, see, 12 and older. Even though kids that are 12 to fucking, you know,
12 to 69 don't fucking get it, but'll repeat that again the number i keep repeating over
if you get covid and you're under 70 and healthy 99.96 percent survival rate end of story
plus i already got it about a year and a half remember when it first came out they don't even
have tests to get the pass people must have proof oh no that's racist they are fully vaccinated
that's racist macron black people can't get proof they don't have doctors
recently tested negative you have to have proof you tested negative or recently recovered from
the virus paper or digital documents will be accepted. No crayons, please. The law says a
government decree will outline how to handle vaccination documents from other countries.
This is how you handle it.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
That's me stamping them.
Fuck you. Fuck you.
That's your passport.
Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.
The bill was unveiled just six days ago. Lawmakers worked through the night and the weekend to reach a compromise version approved by the Senate on Sunday night and by the National Assembly after midnight.
The rules can be applied through November 15th,
depending on the virus situation. They're making it up as they go along.
November 15th, that sounds good. Then we'll pretend, you know, we'll say, you know what,
it's getting worse. If you guys can't see this as a plot, I feel bad for you. Macron appealed for national unity and mass vaccination to fight the resurgent
virus and lashed out at those fueling anti-vaccine sentiment and protests. Oh, they don't have a right
to their opinions? You fucking, about 160,000 people protested around France on Saturday
against special COVID-19 pass for restaurants
and mandatory vaccinations for health workers.
Many marchers shouted,
Liberté, Liberté,
and said the government shouldn't tell them what to do.
So some people get it.
So all those Americans that died over there fighting,
some people still appreciate it.
Massive crowd,
a massive crowd. Look at that can be seen outside the Eiffel Tower, chanting Macron
demission, Macron demission. That means Macron resign. But these people, this is a little bigger than those anti-vaccine people
and the pro-vaccine people fighting in front of the hospital.
Check out this crowd.
Macro Demission! Macro Demission! Macro Demission!
Demission! Demission! Macro Demission!
Macro Demission! Macron, Demisson.
He said, shut the fuck up and eat cake, you cocksuckers.
You're a loser. You'll always be a loser.
Macron, Demisson, Macron, Demisson, Demisson. Demisson.
When are we going to hear that chant?
Biden resign, Biden resign.
Which he will on his own.
We don't even have to do it.
He even realizes he's out of his mind. You know?
His wife caught him putting his sneakers in the freezer yesterday
visiting a hospital in french polynesia afterward macron urged national unity and asked what is
your freedom worth if you say to me i don't want to be vaccinated but tomorrow you infect your
father your mother or myself. I'm sure they care
about affecting you.
That's a sick question.
You're a sick fuck
and I'm not that sick
that I'm going to answer it.
Let me answer that
for you, McCrone.
Let them decide.
Let them fucking decide.
You're supposed to be
a democracy, aren't you?
As far as my mother goes,
what if you don't like your mother?
I love my mother.
I'm just saying there are people who don't like their mother.
I say you get a nice batch of COVID.
Put it in their fucking sanka.
Do they have that over there?
Well, he said protests are free to express themselves
in a calm and respectful manner, which they were doing, he said demonstrations won't make the coronavirus go away.
No, but maybe it'll make you go away.
Who said that?
Mr. Macron.
Who the fuck said that?
Macron said that.
Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant?
Macron.
Oui, oui.
here who just signed his own death warrant.
Macron.
Oui, oui.
He criticized people who were in the business
of irrational,
sometimes cynical, manipulative
mobilization against vaccination.
In other words, anybody who
disagrees with him. Among those organizing
the protests have been far
right politicians and
extremist members of France's Yellow Vest
movement. Nothing says extreme and scary like Yellow Vest. What are they, fucking crossing guards?
The Yellow Vest movement tapping into anger at Macron's government.
Why so faggy, France?
so faggy, France.
I have a lot of balls saying that about France when this country
is
probably worse at this
point. It's all coming back.
We should go back to shows,
my old shows, me predicting this
a year ago. If you think this is going
away. Remember I said they're going to juggle
the ball, keep it in the air.
Naughty, naughty.
Again, go to Rockefeller, whatever, institution, lockstep, whatever the fuck. It's all been done before. They tried it in 2011 with H1N1, as my friend explained to me, but they didn't
have the reach.
Facebook didn't have a trillion people on it at that point.
Now they have all the reach they need.
Let's go to sports.
Maybe take a break from this goddamn COVID.
You guys probably think, what are you, nuts?
You can watch baseball?
Well, I can watch my hometown Red Sox.
It would be hard for me to sit through like the Brewers and the Rockies.
But my Red Sox, I am so proud of these goddamn guys this year.
Nobody expected them to do anything.
They have the best record in the American League.
I saw some games, the Yankees week.
I know you guys.
Boring.
I don't give a shit.
I have to get off my chest.
Anyways, Sox took the first one.
Then Friday night, they blow a lead.
They blow a lead.
Our guy, Nathan Evaldi,
shutting out the Yankees to like the eighth
inning, three to nothing. Then the Yankees
get like eight bloop hits and score
fucking four runs, and
we lose.
But then Sunday, we turn it around.
Germain is pitching against us, throwing a no-hitter into the eighth inning.
He's no-hitting the Red Sox.
And then he gives up a double to Verdugo.
So they take him out, which I'll never understand.
And they bring in a relief pitcher. In the next 17 plate appearances,
the Sox score five runs
and go ahead and steal it.
Take three out of four from the poor, crumbling Yankees.
See ya, bitches.
Yeah, but good guys have COVID.
I don't give a fuck.
Finally, the Chinese did something right.
Why am I talking baseball?
This is an interesting story.
Digital curveball for science dealers.
Baseball has a science stealing problem.
It's very American.
I'd like to say, if you're not cheating, you're not trying.
Baseball has a science stealing problem,
or at least a technological one.
Seeing how reading another team's pitches
is technically legal,
but using Apple Watches or telephoto cameras
and then suspiciously banging on trash cans,
it's my favorite sports talk,
is very much, you know, a no-no.
I know what you did.
You're a damn tyrant.
That makes me laugh so good.
That's what they were doing when Cora was the head of the Astros.
And I love that he's coaching the Sox.
We talked about this.
They were looking at the computers, and the guy would signal what to pitch,
and the guy would hit a trash can.
You use an Apple fucking software and shit, and you end it by hitting a trash can.
Oh, you Hispanics. I'm telling you, you're the best.
So it's been quite a problem, apparently.
But soon, the Major League Baseball
may try fighting fire with fire.
What do you mean, Nick?
On August 3rd, it plans to begin testing
an encrypted wireless communication device
that replaces the traditional flash of
fingers with button taps, according to ESPN. The device from a startup, why didn't we think of
this, Matt? You're good with the computers. The device from a startup called PitchCom,
which will be tested in the Loewe West Minor League first. There it is right there, I guess.
See the nine pitches you can choose from?
The pitch is going to be wearing like a, not an ear.
I'll go on.
It'll explain it, but something under his cap.
But I'm looking at this thing right now.
You got, you see it says up or down.
That means you don't want to fastball up or you want it down.
But how about left or right?
What if you want them to paint the outside corner?
Where's the left or right?
I'm sure they'll think of it.
Anyways, they're testing this in low A West minor league baseball.
As you'd expect for something that's relaying extremely basic signals,
it's not a particularly complicated piece of equipment,
although don't underestimate jocks.
With one wristband transmitter for the catcher with nine buttons.
He'll be wearing this to signal desired pitch and location,
which sends an encrypted audio signal.
You know when a team gets no hit,
they're going to blame the Chinese for hacking or something.
An encrypted audio signal
to receivers that can squeeze into a pitcher's cap and a catcher's helmet. That's pretty clever.
Son of a whore! As Jonathan Katz once said, my favorite technology joke, he said,
you know how you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink? Well, now you can, those crazy Japanese.
The receivers use bone conduction technology.
I think I used that in bed when I was in college.
Bone conduction technology, so they don't necessarily need to be up against an ear
and might theoretically be harder to eavesdrop on them.
Bone conduction stimulates bones in your head.
Well, the Yankees are going to win everything.
They're full of bone heads.
Who's with me?
I got it.
The bones in your head.
What the fuck?
Instead of emitting audible sounds,
it's going to bounce off the bones in your head.
That said, it sounds like introducing the technology may come with other risks.
Here's a list of restrictions as cited by ESPN.
So, you know, I guess it's not completely proof.
They're stealing our signs.
Listen, I'm not going to use this line anymore.
Go to Chen Lewis.
I'll call you there in five minutes.
They can't run a tap that fast.
So long, everybody.
Bye-bye, Cora.
Play is found to be wearing a receiver while batting.
Now, who's going to try this?
Will be ejected.
I'll tell you who, El Tuve.
It's my favorite sport clip ever.
Him running after hitting a home run.
This is during, well, they were cheating.
He's running home.
The whole team's waiting to jump on him and shit and tear his shirt off.
That's what the Astros did that year.
And he's going like this.
You can watch his shit in slow motion.
And he's pointing to his chest.
You can see like he's wearing a watch.
Why do I like shit like that?
I know I'm supposed to go, that's horrible.
He's cheating.
I don't know.
Well, anyways, if a hitter gets caught with it while batting,
he will be ejected.
No.
There's no crying in baseball.
Only the active catcher and no other player or coach is allowed to use the transmitter.
A backup transmitter is provided, but it must remain in the carrying case during games,
like it's the nuclear button.
And if players and coaches need to confer because of an issue with a device, they can
notify the umpires and not be charged a mound visit.
Boy, they think of everything.
MLB seems optimistic about the idea so far.
The Pitchcom devices were tested in side sessions during Major League Spring training, and the
feedback from players, coaches, and front office staff
was extremely positive, reads part of an internal memo
obtained by the Associated Press.
Based on those preliminary results,
we are optimistic that these devices have the potential
to be a viable long-term option to reduce sign-stealing risk
and improve pace of play.
I don't know how that's true.
I guess so the guy won't sit at...
Sometimes the pitcher shakes off
nine signals. That's what that
means. Particularly with runners
on second base.
Don't worry, folks. For every action
there's a reaction. Somebody will figure it out.
Somebody will tap into that.
What if you tap into the
opponent's pitcher and you're just fucking them all up?
Catcher's calling for a curveball,
but you hack into it and go slider.
Something like that.
I think it's got a potential for a lot of...
And if you're going to do that with the technology,
can I just make a request?
Get rid of the home umpire as far as balls and strikes goes, because
apparently that square thing,
I forget what they call it,
apparently,
strike track,
it's very, very accurate.
So I say
use technology there.
It's not fair to an umpire.
Guy's throwing 103,
and he's supposed to be with his bare eyes,
see whether it caught the corner or not.
Come on.
Anyways, finally tonight, we'll stick with one more sports story.
Tatas, that would be titties, a no-no in Olympic coverage.
Television broadcasts at the Tokyo Olympics are maintaining
a concerted effort to ban sexualized images of female athletes.
Why do you take the fun out of everything, PC liberal fuck
assholes? Female
athletes abiding by the mantra
sports appeal, not sex appeal.
Yeah, that's why we watch beach
volleyball in California.
You people. You know, you can't
legislate the man
out of men. Do you understand that?
You can't legislate our DNA
out of us. Keep trying.
Said Giannis Ex-Achos, Chief Executive of Olympic Broadcasting, sir. This guy scares me with his
voice because he sounds like Dracula. Here he is saying what they're going to do and try to,
you know, basically in short terms,
you know, don't zoom in on the girl's tits and ass, everything that makes the world go
wrong.
Go ahead.
What we can do is to make sure that our coverage does not highlight or feature.
It sounds like a guy, if you were captured by Russians, you know, Like in Rambo when he comes in.
We have
certain information.
We will not
hook the gentles up
to battery.
He's creepy,
isn't he? I suck cock.
I think he does. I love it. Yummy, yummy, yummy.
He seems too happy about this. Go ahead.
In any particular way, you know, what people are wearing and whether these, the clothes
that they're wearing, whether they highlight any particular elements of the body that have
to do with stereotypes.
So you will not see in our coverage.
Pause.
How does a girl or a guy they have a
bathing suit on and they have a great ass how is that stereotypical i know what you're saying
you're going well women want to be taken seriously as athletes fine we have usc fighters we have all
women's hockey leagues basketball you. You are being taken serious.
But if you're pretty on top of it, we're not doing that as a negative.
Sure, I'm not supposed to be jerking off while I'm watching the triathlon.
But what do you care?
You can't see me.
Go ahead.
Some things that we have been seeing in the past, you know, with details and
close up in parts of the body or elements that really speak about sexuality or any other type
of stereotyping of gender. Stereotyping of gender. Last time I checked, girls found,
you know, male athletes sexy too. That would be equality. Just go, hey, you know, male athletes sexy too.
That would be equality.
Just go, hey, you know what? We're both pigs on both sides.
Mark Spitz could have fucked anything on the planet in the 70s.
Why is it just, you know what I mean?
It's gender stereotyping just when it applies to females.
That might have been true years ago, but we appreciate it.
Us guys appreciate it.
Fucking, you know what?
A power lifter from Moscow, a girl who's about 5'10", 360.
Fucking forearms like kegs.
We like that.
It turns us on.
Before the Tokyo Games began,
and by the way, I suggest you people go home
and click on this girl.
She's an Olympic athlete. I don't know her name.
I was too busy staring at her tits.
She shows
you all the stuff, all the restrictions
they have to go through because of COVID.
Oh my God.
It is worse than...
It must be taking all the fun out of it.
Until they go back, after they complete their event,
they go back to the village, it's all out orgy.
Before the Tokyo Games began, the International Olympic Committee
released an updated version of the portrayal guidelines
to help orchestrate gender-equal and fair broadcasts
ahead of this year's competition.
The guidelines recommend that broadcasts do not focus unnecessarily on looks,
clothing, or intimate body parts.
Yeah, put them all in beekeepers' outfits.
Watch your ratings plummet.
They're already in the toilet.
And respect the integrity of the athlete.
Don't give me that smart-alecky shit.
Exactly. We in media have not yet done all, excuse me,
have not yet done all that we can do, XR chose, said. This is something that we need to be frank
and open about among ourselves. Naoko Emoto, the advisor on gender equality to the Tokyo Olympics, was critical of the media's handling of sexualization of women on Monday.
It's really biased, she says, when it comes to gender.
Amoto said many of the channels look at female athletes as girls or wives or mothers
and not really as pure athletes.
Most of it also really gives attention.
See, it's a bad thing to be looked at as a mother.
You feminist twats, honest to God.
Attention to the look saying they are beautiful or sexy.
What is wrong with that?
Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole.
I think that was Matt Lauer back in the...
That was his last Olympics.
They are powerful.
This is the woman who's in charge of gender stereotyping,
whatever the fuck.
By the way, she's a very hot Asian broad.
She says they are powerful.
They are also beautiful, but they are not just women.
They are athletes.
Oh, my fucking God.
I, for one, if I'm directing the Olympics, here's what I'm zooming in on.
Okay, I'd go.
Joe, camera one.
Yeah.
Leave that there for the next, I'd say, seven, eight minutes.
Yeah.
I love you.
Okay, camera two, go.
I need to construct my life. Yeah. Billy, camera two, go.
Yeah, Billy, zoom in on that dear crotch here, huh?
Nothing wrong with that. She's making a great play.
What else we got? Go to
camera four.
Holy moly. Stevie, stay there
for about 45, 50 seconds.
That's a hell of a play she's making. Stevie, stay there for about 45, 50 seconds. That's a hell of a play, G-Mega.
Okay, next.
Oh, my God.
Dave, Dave, freeze on that.
I don't know what she is.
Asian, Hawaiian?
Look at that ass.
You could break eggs on it.
Mother of Christ.
Next.
Oh, shit. What happened? on it mother of Christ is why next oh shit what happened is she the transgender no oh she stands with them that's not her though right yeah the
next one here's the one
that, again, this is what
they want the Olympics to look like.
Right here.
That was a guy who's now
a woman, and it's not
fair because he's still a fucking man
in my opinion.
And
they allow her in the Olympics because she's transgender.
So what else we got? opinion. They allowed her in the Olympics because she's transgender. What else
we got?
Oh, Jesus
Christ.
This is what they...
My vagina's
angry. Oh, it is.
It is. It's pissed off.
Remember her?
Rapone. Rapone.ipponi disgrace to Italians hates Trump anything liberalism touches just I don't know I'll just say it one more time you
can do all you want you can and you know what here's what worries me this is
gonna spill to it already has to college football with the cheerleaders?
They used to show them all the time.
Now, you know, now they've cut down on that.
And Nick, do you track this shit?
Yes, I do.
I have a pie chart in my bedroom.
They only shoot from here up.
And it's common.
Whatever.
Ruin everything we have.
That is it for today, folks.
Good to be back.
Good to see you guys again.
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I'll be going to Cohoes, New York
in the middle of August, excuse me,
to do one night up to Cahos Hall.
Beautiful place.
Click on the tour button.
Cameo.com.
Did a couple this weekend.
If you want me to roast a friend or relative, go to cameo.com.
Tell me about the person.
I'll make a minute, minute and a half video on my phone,
and we'll send it to them and make or break the day.
It's a lot of fun. You guys think it? I'll say it., minute and a half video on my phone, and we'll send it to them and make or break the day. It's a lot of fun.
You guys think it?
I'll say it.
You're very welcome.
We'll see you back here at the same time tomorrow.
Have a good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music