The Nick DiPaolo Show - More Monkey Biz from W.H.O. | Nick Di Paolo Show #1241
Episode Date: July 18, 2022WHO to meet on Monkeypox. Craig Robinson stand up interrupted by gunman. Union gets kicked in the nuts. Lia Thomas nominated NCAA Woman of the Year. Black mom takes on BLM. Woman gets two women pregna...nt.
Transcript
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You think you're so good at guitar? Check out what these hands can do. Oh Welcome to the show, folks.
How you is today?
Good to be with you.
Oh, yeah, it's Monday once again. When isn't it?
How's it going, folks?
What's that kid's name I just showed in the cold open? Ricky Berwick or something?
We're not making fun of the guy. We love him because, like Dallas said, no victim mentality.
Okay? Takes his disability. He's funnier than any comic I know.
You know what I mean? Not laying around going, oh, woe is me.
Turned it into a lifestyle. Heard he
get laid a lot. No, just look.
Let's not go too far over here.
Anyways, hey guys, I've just
added some new tour dates in West Palm Beach,
Florida and Tampa.
Get tickets to these and all my live
shows at nickdip.com.
Don't forget that. Come on out because I'm still
hammering away, folks.
Let me tell you something. We need
hammering. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of
hammering, let me just talk about the Red
Sox. Go back to fucking
AA. Oh my God, did they
take... They win the first game
Thursday night at Yankee
Stadium. They get out of two
bases loaded jams in the ninth or the 10th of the 11th inning with like no outs. And then the next
two days they beat like 14 to two, then 13 to two. Let me tell you, Franchi Cordero, I don't know if
he has pictures of the Red Sox owner blowing a goat. I don't know how this guy's still in the fucking show.
He got up 16 times this weekend.
16 against the Yankees.
Struck out 15 times.
That's not even, you can't even justify that.
If he's not on a fucking bus back to Pawtucket, I am.
Ay yi yi.
Then Chris Sale, I don't know, again, folks, bear with me.
I know you're not all from Boston.
Chris Sale, who was our ace two, three years ago,
made the all-star team like seven times.
He's a superstar.
Hasn't played for the Red Sox.
He's been, hasn't pitched since like 2019 or 2020.
Finally comes back.
It's his second game back.
106 mile an hour line drive takes his pinky,
turns it into dust almost.
So that's that.
It ain't their year, man.
Let's get Juan Soto.
He just turned down $440 million for 15 years.
What a racist country.
Huh?
Hispanic guy offered $440 million, turned it down from the Nats.
He's a free agent.
I dare you, Red.
I'm tired of fucking you-know-who, too.
J.D. Martinez has been a great hitter for the Red Sox.
I'll be the first one to say it, but I've never liked his approach.
And you're like, well, how can you?
I've never seen a guy of that caliber swing at such dogshit pitches.
And now he doesn't have any power.
He's got nine home runs.
He's got warning track power. I've had enough of his whining. He can't hit a pitch on the outside corner
because he's standing 11 feet. Did I already say this on the show? 11 feet from the plate.
You could fit another fucking hitter in front of him. I'm not shitting you. He taps the
plate with his bat. He's touching the inside. How do you cover the outside? And then when
the pitcher hits the outside, it's clearly a strike. He's touching the inside. How do you cover the outside? And then when the pitcher hits the outside,
it's clearly a strike. He shakes his head and looks
at the ump. This has been
going on for years.
Tired of them all.
Jesus, Bobby Dalbeck,
sorry, man, I got to give up on you.
Guy either hits a ball 450 feet
or he can't. Sorry, man.
Let's clean house.
Except for, obviously, stop building around Devers, Bogarts, whatever, enough. Okay, sorry, man. Let's clean house. Except for, obviously,
stop building around Debra's Bogarts.
Whatever, enough.
Okay, I'm sorry.
I lost my shit.
God damn it.
That's all I did.
Well, I learned,
I also learned the solo to,
you know,
Guns N' Roses,
Knockin' on Heaven's Door.
Because I'm going to be in a band soon.
One of those Lipitor commercial bands,
as I've said.
All right,
let's get on with this guy. We got some new sound drops for you today, folks. So I think you'll enjoy them. Now go home and get your fucking shine box. Oh! More monkey business
from the World Health Organization, as I spit all over my fucking cup. Soaring monkeypox case numbers.
Soaring.
All 300.
Yeah, all 300 on a planet of, what, 8 billion?
Soaring monkeypox case numbers
have been cited by the World Health Organization
as the reason it will reconvene
its expert committee
to decide whether the outbreak
constitutes a global health emergency.
Let me just save you the fucking time, okay?
Will you shut up? Will you? Will you please shut up?
Don't convene. It's not. Everybody knows it. Shut your hole.
Oh, that's right. It's election time coming up.
Look at that.
I was saying to Dallas, like, Dallas, put that on a...
Dallas, because I want her to give it a gay,
because it's, again, it's a light version of AIDS.
It's only gay guys getting it,
and for the most part.
And so,
Dallas puts these on.
I go, you remember the days when you saw a guy
with a physique like that?
You're like, God damn, that guy's, you know.
Now it's like, they ruined it.
That's why.
Just shave your chest and you'll be okay.
Yeah.
If you have a hairy, strong chest, you're good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I don't have much hair.
Girls like it when you're hairless, but they don't want fucking.
I don't even, I don't know.
It looks like a drone of a mountainside.
I don't know what I'm saying.
The move comes on the back of an official
in New York City reporting a spike in monkey pox cases, where incidents more than doubled. Yeah,
it went from two to four in the past week. The official states the outbreak in the nation's
largest city. Anything good happened in New York in the last 10 years accounts for 30% of all U.S.
cases. 30% in New York alone.
Well, get rid of New York.
The U.N. subsidiary health agency is now aware of 9,200 cases
in 63 countries, folks.
That's the last update issued on Tuesday.
I forget what the video is.
What is it?
It's about...
That's how you get it.
Perhaps you'd like me to come in there
and wash your dick for you.
That's how you get monkey pox.
Understand?
Most monkey pox infections so far have been observed in,
but by no means limited. See how they, but by no means limited to men who have sex with men.
Just fucking shut it. I heard this with AIDS. It doesn't discriminate. Oh, it did. It did very much.
It's a fucking racist discriminating of young age and chiefly in urban era.
In other words, young guys hanging out at the toolbox and the ramrod, a couple of clubs I used to visit.
And again, don't wish, I'm not wishing bad on anybody, but, you know, behavior has consequences.
You know what I'm saying?
AFP reports monkeypox infections have been slowly building since early May
outside the West in Central African countries
where the disease has long been endemic, of course.
Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves.
I don't know why I put that in there.
Is there no one for you?
So once again, Africa's giving us some great shit.
AIDS.
Monkeypox. Ebola. for you. So once again, Africa's giving us some great shit. AIDS, monkey pox, Ebola, Obama,
Al Sharpton, and again. Furthermore, you can all go fuck yourselves. That's Woody Allen talking to the press. But a majority advised the World Health Organization's chief,
Tindros Adhanom Ghebreyesus.
Look at that.
What a stooge.
He's a stooge for China.
This whole organization is.
Remember we revealed that after COVID.
That the situation at that point,
they're trying to convince him it's not a pandemic at this point.
See, he's so hell-bent on.
Now a second meeting will be held on Thursday.
I'm going, actually.
Taking Delta.
The Emergency Committee will provide its views
to the World Health Organization
Director General on whether
the event constitutes a P-H-E-I-C.
A P-H-E-I-C.
You think it's a monkeypox? It's a P-H-E-I-C. A P-H-E-I-C. You think monkeypox is a P-H-E-I-C?
Most monkeypox infections so far have been observed in,
but by no means limited, men or sex.
I don't know why I'm reading that again.
But it's there.
Please give me a cup.
That's why.
Leave it in.
Leave it in.
Who gets it?
Please give me a cup. That's right. Leave it in. Leave it in. Who gets it? Please give me cup. That's right.
Stop it, fellas.
Wear a condom. Have you learned anything?
Do you remember when AIDS
for you were probably in teens
in the 80s? Wait a minute. What were you born?
In 80s?
Fucker.
It was in the mid-80s, late-80s
that it kicked in.
And, yeah, fellas, I don't know what to tell you.
Anyways, let's move on to some comedy news, shall we?
This wasn't...
I've been waiting for this headline for quite a while.
I thought it would be at my own show.
But then again, only my people show up.
Well, once in a while, somebody will stumble in
who has no idea how caustic I can be. Shots and Giggles is the headline. Craig Robinson,
you know him from The Office. Is he the guy in the Pizza Hut commercials who's blowing up?
Papa John, one of the two. You know him from A Million. He's very popular. Funny dude, too.
Craig Robinson's stand-up show at the comedy
zone which is apparently not a gun-free zone in charlotte north carolina was disrupted saturday
uh night by a uh by a gunman what the hell's going on out here i don't know robinson said
in an instagram video that he was in the green room of the comedy club when police evacuated
the fucking building.
Do you see what's going on?
I'm telling you, man.
I'm telling you.
I'm telling you.
We're going to have one of these,
two of these a week for the next,
till November.
Again, I have no proof how,
but I think even the idiots who vote Democrats
still know they have to do shit like this.
But anyways, here's some footage of Craig
telling us, right when it happened, I guess. do shit like this. But anyways, here's some footage of Craig telling
us, right when it happened, I guess.
There's an active shooter
at the club I was at.
So we had to run over here to this
concert
and show you what it is.
Can you
fucking imagine?
What's it?
Right.
It was called something rushed the band.
I think it might have been a cover band or big time rush or whatever the fuck.
I don't know.
Anyways, the point is, how do you get in with a handgun?
I guess security isn't that tight.
That's why I have a gun on a stool on stage.
It really keeps the hecklers from saying much.
Eventually, we'll be doing our whole...
In a cage.
Yeah, exactly.
In a cage, over the rocket launcher on our shoulder.
Excuse me, what did you say next?
Anyways, he says, I'm safe, it's cool.
He said with a laugh, showing footage of the band performing.
Oh, it was wild. It was a wild moment uh he said with a laugh showing footage of the band performing oh it was wild
it was a wild moment he said charlotte mecklenburg police department said a man whose identity they
wait a minute what club was this it's not the one i did was it no identity they did not release
uh brandished a gun and demanded everyone leave the comedy club, which they did. All right, get up!
Yeah!
Fuck that, man.
I'm staying for the...
Where's the comedy zone?
The comedy zone.
Yeah, I did those a long time ago.
What's the one I just did, though, in North Carolina?
A very nice club.
Remember, I was up there.
Whatever.
It doesn't matter.
I killed and I got $11.
Good night, everybody.
After the patrons, staff, and performers were evacuated,
the gunman discharged his firearm,
hitting a picture of Carrot Top right in the forehead.
But no one was hurt.
Really?
Imagine you're in the green room, you're hearing that.
Tommy, you're up in two minutes.
The man was then taken into police custody
and beat about the head and face for a good 45 minutes,
but let back into the comedy club
because he was drinking a lot of beer.
And that's how comedy club owners walk.
You could have a machete thrown at the end.
They're like, wait a minute.
His tab's already 180 bucks.
You leave him right where he is.
Because again, folks, folks I remind you us comics stand-up comics were a conduit for alcohol sales I say that on stage many
times that I might as well be driving a Miller Lite beer truck but it's still a
lot of fun that's why I like the theater gigs. But again, that's missing the point. The point is it's hard to keep people from shooting guns.
But you people on the left, you Democrats,
good luck with your gun control and all that shit.
It's the silliest thing I've ever fucking heard.
You're evil. I'm sick of you.
I'm sick of listening to everything you say.
Red Wave, it's going to be worse than that.
It's going to be a goddamn shellacking.
Oh, watch the language.
Hey, folks, this show is entirely, as you know, supported by you listeners.
Thank you to those who joined on Patreon in the past week
and those who made contributions.
Please continue to do so, and I promise I'll keep working
to spread honest and direct comedy and commentary through the show.
You can contribute at nicknip.com, and I'll read your name right on the show,
and you'll be famous too.
You won't even be able to go to the goddamn mall without girls wanting to blow you.
I'm telling you the juice you can get from this show.
Again, thank you so much.
Gracias.
Union gets kicked in the nuts.
My type of headline. i'll say it again i know there's public and
private unions but when bus drivers uh in cleveland one bus drive i'll never forget
the story i think it was a cleveland bus drive made a half million dollars with overtime
i'm not i'm not fucking so something's out of whack with the public, you know.
But I said it my special years ago,
you know, you're supposed to... Unions had a place.
You know, when the owners of businesses
were working people 18 hours a day
without a piss break
and, you know, beating them with umbrella handles.
But then, you know,
they had their place and everything settled down. And now
they're fucking, I remember Toyota a few years ago, they couldn't even make a profit because,
you know, you're paying the guy dental, fucking his wife's gynecology, fucking tit transplant.
I mean, they were literally fucking losing money every car they sold because of the benefits and
shit. I mean, come on, let's be a little fair, shall we? A flight attendant was awarded 5.1 million clams, balloons, smokes by a jury on
Thursday finding that Southwest Airlines scanned 20-year veteran Charlene Carter. They scanned her? Scammed her.
Charlene Carter, for her sincerely held religious beliefs,
namely her pro-life abuse.
Hey, everybody, we're all going to get laid.
Carter expressed her pro-life stance online.
And imagine she's online just putting her opinion out there.
And these fuckers, you lefties, again, I don't know who the fuck you think you are but it's coming it's a coming pro-life stance on online
i'm almost hoping the fucking midterms are stolen and shit i just want to see what the right's gonna
do if it is going to lay over and take the big socialist communist mar Marxist cock right in the ass.
Anyways, I stole that from Sean Hannity.
Carter expressed her pro-life stance online and pushed back against the Transportation Workers Union,
TDW, T-W-T-L-K of America, local 5-5-6 union,
after the group, including President Audrey Stone,
attended the Women's March.
Well, that tells you right there
everything you need to know about Audrey.
In Washington, D.C. in 2017,
the event receives funding from Planned Parenthood,
the largest abortion mill in the goddamn country.
What murder!
Yeah!
Today's a victory for freedom of speech
and religious beliefs.
Flight attendants should have a voice and nobody should be able to retaliate against a flight attendant or anybody else engaging in protected speech against her union, Carter told Fox Business on Friday.
I am so humbled and thankful for today's decision.
Can you imagine?
We're at a point where we're thankful.
We have to thank people to, you know,
so we can speak freely in the United States of America.
It's like a privilege now.
And for everyone who's supported me these past five years,
including the National Right to Work Foundation,
the National Right to Work Foundation president, Mark Mix.
Look at him, handsome as hell.
He's got a brother, and this is true, folks. I looked it up. His name is Thomas, middle name
Collins. Slammed the union. No, I just, that was a good one sure it was oh god what did i do
never mind uh anyways mark mix uh president mark slammed the union following the verdict and i'm
glad he did comes out and says no american worker should have to fear termination intimidation or
other appraisal merely for speaking out against having their
own money spent because it's your, it's their goddamn, you know, the dues you pay dues in
and those cocksuckers go and use it for something you don't believe in, you know.
Anyways, all money spent purportedly in their name to promote an agenda they find abhorrent,
said Mix, who reportedly
served pro bono. Folks, that means he said, I'll take it for no money. I'll do this.
Used to mean something else. That was just, I don't even know, an Italian dick joke, I guess.
Pro bono. Pro bono. Hey, Marie, have a good night.
Oh, pro bono.
This guy was no amateur.
He was a pro bono who reportedly served pro bono legal representation to Carter.
So good, good, good lawyer, man.
He was the best guy around.
That's right.
TWU union officials still enjoy the enormous, enormous government-granted privilege
of being able to force airline workers to financially subsidize their activities
as a condition of employment, Mix added, which is total fucking nonsense.
How did it get to that point, man, huh?
I want to hear a story where a lefty was at work.
Is there any righty boss or something?
And a lefty went to a woman's march to get canned.
Can we do that?
Let's have it out.
That's the only way I'm going to get to bring this thing to a head.
We're just rolling over.
Good for him, though.
He won one here.
And again, when I hear shit like this i'm like you know it's probably
we got lucky there was a judge oh it was a jury actually there's a jury involved that you know
big fox fans or whatever uh while we're proud to stand with ms carter and are pleased by the
verdict there ultimately should be no place in american labor law for compelling workers to fund
a private organization that violates their core beliefs, he added.
I say this calls for action and now.
Absolutely.
Looks like you took it and you won.
Good for you, Spider.
Don't take that shit off nobody.
Mama, take this badge from me.
I can't hear that anymore.
Getting dark, too dark to see.
I got all the happiness.
Hey, hey, hey, yeah.
A woman with balls, as they say in New York.
In Boston, we say balls.
Neither city says it.
That's what I miss.
I miss Bernie Sanders with his heavy New York Jew accent in Vermont.
You get a lot of balls.
The University of Pennsylvania, by the way, that's one hell of a school.
It is.
Very fucking, it's like when you're talking, you know what, Ivy League?
That's as good as it gets, apparently.
Of course, my brother-in-law
who went to Cornell, graduated
with an engineering degree, you know, just to fuck
around. He went to a
water business school and graduated first in his
class, you know, just to have something to
do.
And his name is Rich
White. Rich
White. It's a true story. Fucking guy's brilliant and a good
athlete. Good guy. University of Pennsylvania is facing a wave of criticism from professional
athletes for nominating transgender college swimmer Leah Bigcock-Thomas for the National
Collegiate Athlete Association's 2022. Here it comes.
Do I have it?
I did.
Excuse me, folks.
I can't.
I blew it all.
Woman of the Year Award.
That's right.
Woman of the Year.
Now, this is a woman who has shoulders like Herman Munster, hands like fucking somebody.
Aaron Hernandez. Oh oh he's dead anyways woman of the
year she was nominated woman of the year I'll rip god damn it let's take a look
at the video I have no idea what's coming it says like I'm at the pool but
I'm just here to have fun what there you go. That's a friend of his. Let's call him Kevin.
Do you understand what that does?
And I'll say it again.
That encourages homophobia.
It's so funny.
They keep calling this fucking guy a girl.
I see a guy in a pool with a bathing cap on.
Right?
Something to do with those Kevin McHale shoulders.
This is yet another slap in the face to women.
Riley Gaines, a University of Kentucky swimmer,
who was also nominated,
who should have won just on her body alone,
for the award,
tweeted in response to the news on Friday.
So the fucking he-she gets nominated.
You get nothing!
You lose!
You do. You're competing against
Matt. First, a female
national... This is her talking, by the way, Riley.
I like this girl because she's got a chin
like the Marlboro Man, too. Let's be honest.
But she's still cute. At least she has a girl's body
as opposed to fucking Ken Harrelson
on the left. If you remember Hawk Harrelson for the red socks and the white uh first a female national title
she says this is a heterosexual on the right saying this i meant to say cisgender one on the
right she is fuming she says that the ncaa has made this award worthless and then she said this. Take a big step back and literally fuck your own face.
She was very angry about this.
Thomas, who won the 500-yard freestyle.
500 yard?
They say meters, don't they?
Not fucking yards in a pool.
Let's ask Kevin.
At the 2022 NCAA Women's Division I Swimming and Diving Championships earlier this year,
is one of 577 graduating female student-athletes nominated by this school for the prestigious
award. Do you understand when this guy was competing against males, when he was a male,
When this guy was competing against males, when he was a male, he was ranked 570th in the world or some shit.
You understand that?
This award combines athletic performance with academics.
Again, this is her talking, Riley, the cisgender.
Academic service and character. What character has Thomas shown other than sheer selfishness and entitlement?
Other than sheer selfishness and entitlement, Gaines continued,
accusing Thomas of showing disrespect and disregard for other female athletes.
Right on the goddamn money.
Tennis legend, do you guys remember Martina Navratilova?
You remember him, right?
Also criticized decision.
Now, this is a gay woman who was one hell of an athlete,
but she's a gay, you know, she's not a man.
She was cisgender.
She had great legs, as a matter of fact.
Got the face of Tom Petty, but that's not my fault.
Anyways, she was quoted as saying,
what is, you know, talking to the NCAA,
what is wrong with you? You ever seen a grown man naked?
Former NCAA swimming champ, Marshy Smith,
an outspoken critic against transgender women competing in women's sports.
And there's no, you notice there's no feminist groups coming to their aid.
Women are getting just trampled.
You know what I mean? Nobody fucking, where are you? Where are you, Gloria Steinem? feminist groups coming to their aid. Women are getting just trampled.
You know what I mean?
Nobody fucking... Where are you?
Where are you, Gloria Steinem and the rest of you?
Even, you know who?
Caitlyn is the only one that speaks out.
She's against it, and she's transgender.
Again, can I just say this about Caitlyn?
Because he's on the...
You see him on TV once in a while.
He's still Bruce Jenner, but he...
If you're going to transition, go all the way.
I see Bruce Jenner in a dress with a wig on.
It's like he's doing a drag fucking.
His voice is still up.
What is he doing?
Anyways, women competing in women's sports, said UPenn.
UPenn is doubling down on their anti-women campaign.
That's what Marshy said,
by deciding to nominate
Thomas for the honor. In May, Thomas acknowledged, that's Leah Tom, the criticism against her. I knew
there would be backlash and I prepared for that by doing 800 pound squats. I intend to keep swimming
because I'm a selfish cocksucker who needs the attention. I don't know if I like
pussy or dick. I'm a fucking biological abnormality, said Nick. It's been a goal of mine to swim at
Olympic trials for a very long time, and I would love to see that through, she said, so I could
be a man beating women on an international level. Last month, the controversy surrounding transgender women
in sports led to the World Swimming's
governing body, that's F-I-N-A,
FINA, effectively
banning them from competing
in elite world events.
Oh boy, the picketing
is going to be horrendous.
So they're coming around
slowly, but like I said, lack of support
from hardcore feminists.
Nobody wants to get canceled.
You got to speak up, folks.
I'm not disgusted that he wants to be a woman over the fire.
I'm disgusted that he brags about beating him.
That's the disgusting part to me, whether you're a male or female.
You're just an asshole.
Hey, I dumped the guy out of his wheelchair and then I ran 50 yards. I beat him.
Anyways, ladies and gentlemen, make sure to grab an official Nick DiPaolo show t-shirt or hat or mug for yourself or someone else today. Purchasing merch is another way to help support this show,
and also the best way
for guys and girls to be the best dressed people in your town. I mean if
you get a 36D rack, put my name across the mother bugger. There's a hat that a
lot of people use when they break into houses. I actually like, I don't have any
of this shit myself. I like that. I also, doesn't help down in Georgia when it's
78 in February.
I also love getting pictures sent in from you fans of you or your kids,
you know, 12 to 14-year-old boys.
What?
Or dogs or whatever wearing this stuff.
Really makes me hard.
I mean, it really makes my day.
Just go to nickdip.com and click on store.
Again, that's nickdip.com and click on store.
And then it has the letter T there.
I don't know what that is.
I have no idea.
I have no...
Here comes munchie nuggets.
Anyways, thank you guys again
so very much for supporting the show.
This was a...
I found this very uplifting
and very unnerving
and making me very...
All at the same time.
Both great and make a story that makes you happy and angry.
Black Mom Tells Off BLM.
A Minneapolis mother of two was seen on video confronting protesters who gathered outside of an apartment building
where a black man, Andrew Teckel Sundberg, that is the whitest name I've ever heard for a black man, was shot and killed by police
last Thursday.
I hope
later on in the article do I say he
shot through the lady's wall.
She was out there
arguing with these people because they're
protesting just because he was killed by a cop.
They don't know the fucking story. They don't care.
It fits the left-wing radical narrative
that all cops are bad. We need police
reform, blah, blah, blah. And she's
out there, the lady who almost got killed with the kids
in the next apartment. She said, this is not
a George Floyd situation.
George Floyd was unarmed.
This is not okay, the mother identifying
as Bella Foss Yarbrough
was seen on video yelling at a group
of protesters on Saturday. Foss Yarbrough was the neighbor video yelling at a group of protesters on Saturday.
Foss Yarbrough was the neighbor of Sundberg and said he shot up her apartment Wednesday evening
while she was cooking for her two and four-year-old sons.
She said the bullets ripped through her apartment, nearly left the family dead or injured.
I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore.
Then the fucking idiot morons, the same people who are for gun control,
as protesters and activists gathered Saturday afternoon to defend the scumbag
outside the apartment building to demand justice for Sundberg.
You guys have lost your fucking shit.
You don't know how to perceive reality anymore correctly.
You're fucking gone. You are gone. Pulled up in her car and confronted the protesters that she
and her children were left traumatized by the 20-year-old man before he was shot and
killed. Sundberg's family said he was having a mental health crisis at the time of his
death.
There's something wrong with the black man's mind. There's something wrong with his mind.
his death. There's something wrong with the black man's mind!
There's something wrong with his mind!
I like that. It's almost an excuse. Oh, he was just having a mental...
Well, that's what we do to dogs when they're
fucking crazy and they bite people. We put
them down. Sorry.
Kind of a rough analogy, but is that
an excuse? Well, he was having a mental fit.
So the cops should have
done what? Come on, man!
Foss Yarborough called police during the shooting on Wednesday who helped the family escape. As police responded to evacuate the
building, officers started taking fire, according to search warrant, and they're still defending
the scumbag that got killed. You people have just fucking gone mad. The incident led to,
and I would love to debate one of you fucks. Come in here and tell me how you think you're
right in this argument. Six-hour standoff between police and Sundberg, which ended when
two Minneapolis snipers shot the 20-year-old dead. Bye-bye, dickhead. And the mother, this
poor mother here says, I have black children.
Listen to this. She's a woman of color. I have black children. Foss Yarbrough, who is of black,
white, and native descent, according to the Star Tribune, yelled at the demonstrators,
if I would have lost my life, would you guys do this for me? The answer's a big, fat fucking no,
because every day black women get killed, and children, and men,
and nobody gives a fuck until the cops are involved.
So she's exactly right.
There's nothing wrong with what she said.
They're so dumb that they can't get it.
They're so blinded by their own fucking ideology.
Listen, here she is losing her shit,
and you can't blame her.
And you're my idols, because you guys are her shit and you can't blame her. Pause, pause. A fucking white guy, a older white guy going, I'm sure it was a terrible,
like he knows better. Like he's ever been shot at or whatever the fuck.
Where do you, where do you grow these people? Where do you make them?
Can you imagine having the nerve to tell her? Not to mention there's always the ugly bitch
with purple hair and go ahead. You're alive. Shut up. Shut up.
I'm going to go grief in silence! This is not okay!
This is not a George Floyd situation!
Pause. There's the dyke with the fucking Larry the Cable guy arms.
Seriously!
Bunch of misfits.
And she's, when she said it's not okay, she goes, it's not okay, meaning the black guy.
I know exactly what she meant. Fucking Newt Gingrich in the shirt there.
Fucking idiot. What we've got here is failure to communicate.
Play the rest, if there is any.
George Floyd was unarmed.
He was unarmed.
You're alive.
You're alive.
Is that okay?
Pause.
Let me analyze that.
Another one of the nitwits yells, you're alive. You're alive.
He's dead because he was almost killed her. You, you, again, you can't perceive reality. You've
lost your fucking minds. You're blind to your stupid PC racial politics. You're alive. But I almost wasn't.
I almost died cooking dinner for my kids.
You fucking idiots.
I can't watch no more.
Protesters and activists are demanding
that body cam footage of Sundberg's shooting be released.
I don't give a shit.
Go ahead, release it.
As well as, I guess those are fake bullet
holes and she made all that up.
And the standoff. Exactly.
They should release it.
Even if they do,
it doesn't matter. He could have walked up to a cop
with a gun two feet away,
shot, and the cop shoots him.
They still wouldn't.
Because you're mentally ill. Anyhoo. Sonberg shooting, as well as why police were unable to apprehend
him while he was still alive, because he was shooting a gun at him. Oh, my God. Oh, then
Ben Crump, civil rights. The minute you see his name, and now that he's like a dressed up Al Sharpton.
Not even.
He's a fucking poor man's Al Sharpton.
Ben Crump.
Wasn't that a tight end for the Browns in the 80s?
And Jeff Storms, weatherman,
along with Dallas Raines,
Sam Champion.
Additionally, and what's with all the gay weathermen?
Can I mention that?
I know.
Every fucking...
There's a local channel here in Savannah.
You know what I'm talking about.
It's the NBC affiliate.
There's not a straight guy or woman that works there.
It is fucking precious.
Remind me to go home, by the way, and write a bit about America's Got Talent.
I know I've brought it up on the show, how creepy, how creepy overproduced it is,
and how it just manipulates people.
It is the creepiest show I have.
Anyways, I'd like to write a bit about it someday,
but I don't think I'm going to do comedy anymore.
Oh, fucking show.
Jeff Storms additionally argued that Sundberg's parents
were highly restricted in communicating with their son.
So police said more than 50 officers were involved in the standoff
and they are reviewing hundreds of hours
worth of audio and video of the incident.
You know what?
Just say you lost it.
Just fight dirty like they do.
You know, hey, guess what?
We lost it.
Body cam footage is expected to be released
even though that just conflicts
with what I just said.
Show it.
It's expected to be released to the family this week.
What's with Minneapolis?
Anything good happen there either?
Oh, that's right.
It's run by what?
Mama Luke's.
Exactly.
The squad.
Finally tonight,
showing the world is falling apart at the seams in this country.
The very fabric is being torn apart.
Woman, that's woman, singular, A-N, gets two women, plural, E-N, pregnant.
You heard right.
Can you imagine?
You just like the, wouldn't you like to just, I'm trying to think of famous people who died
about 20 years, wake up Howard Cosell, anybody, and just go look at these headlines.
Imagine?
A woman cannot. Oh, my God. That was a bad excuse to do a Howard Cosell. A transgender woman. Listen to this. This happened a while ago because I know I've seen it in the news. We might even cover it
here. Incarcerated at a woman's only prison in New Jersey has been moved to another facility.
in New Jersey has been moved to another facility.
Why? Because she was violent towards?
No. After impregnating two female inmates earlier this year.
Because, you know, when you identify as a chick, you are a chick.
According to a local report, we have lost our motherfucking mind.
Demi Minor.
All right, now let's make some Osso Buco in the aluminum toilet.
That was a good laugh.
Look at this.
Holy shit, it's Lin Swan.
Demi Minor.
That's almost like a play on Demi Moore.
Minor.
No, it ain't.
Demi Minor, 27, who majors in stupidity.
Look at those eyebrows.
Good to see Groucho Marx in them.
It's the silliest thing I've ever heard.
A woman knocking up another one.
She's got 12 kids.
Why are you got 12 kids?
Because I love my husband.
I love my cigar, but I take it out once in a while.
Demi Moore, I mean Minor, whoops,
was transferred last month, 27, from the Edna Mahan Correctional Facility.
That's a good place.
In Clinton.
Have you ever had the salad there?
They have fucking lobster salad.
To Garden State Youth Correctional Facility, a prison for young adult offenders located in Burlington County.
Minor, who is serving a 30-year sentence for manslaughter.
That's him as a guy.
Is currently the only woman incarcerated at the facility.
It's an all-male prison.
And was placed in the vulnerable unit.
In other words, had to be protected, I guess.
Watch out, because I'm...
How does your life get so fucked up that you end up being a trans woman in a men's prison
and you're there because of manslaughter?
What in God's creation?
I want to see some home movies from that family.
I want to see some home movies from that family.
Miner's move comes after the paper reported in April that it appeared two women at Edna Mahan became pregnant after consensual sex relationship with another incarcerated person.
Okay.
Don't you ever try to fuck me.
That was a woman saying that.
In 2021, New Jersey enacted a policy to allow prisoners to be housed, of course, according to their gender identity.
Why would you allow any of that?
Why?
Because it's New Jersey.
Yeah, exactly.
It's New Jersey, Northeast, blue, liberal, as dumb as they come.
Because that prison allows the gender identity following a lawsuit
brought forth by a trans inmate who lived in men's prisons for 18 months and of course the aclu of
new jersey had to put their nose in the policy was mandated to remain in effect for at least one year. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant.
Minor is eligible for parole in 2037,
so look for him on Tinder or wherever.
Fucking convicts dot.
That looks like a fella with titties.
Well, I got them too.
Look, I can't even do that anymore.
All right, kids, that is it for today.
Before I go tonight, ladies and gentlemen,
I want to thank the financial contributions we get from you guys
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Sign up at Patreon.com
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If you'd like me to roast a friend or relative, it's kind of fun.
You go to cameo.com, click on my picture.
It'll explain you how to do it.
I'll make a little video on my phone.
Really, you know, verbally smacking around somebody that you like and they like me.
It's a lot of fun.
Or saying happy birthday to that kid that you left in a dumpster like eight years ago.
Alrighty then.
That's it.
You guys think it, I'll say it.
You're very welcome.
See you back here tomorrow at the same time.
Bye-bye. guitar solo Thanks for watching!