The Nick DiPaolo Show - Musk & Twitter Slow Dance | Nick Di Paolo Show #1284
Episode Date: October 5, 2022Judge breaks the record. Musk buying Twitter...again. Walker vs Warnock. U-Chicago racist. HS female trainer sexually abused students. ...
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Today I'll be talking about what kind of flag Nancy Pelosi and her friends are flying over the Statehouse.
Is it the Statehouse? Yeah.
In, you know, Northern California, in San Francisco.
Celebrating something that you won't believe, but I still don't believe it actually.
But that's right.
You'll also get access to all the past shows, including every Encore show,
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Visit patreon.com slash the Nick DiPaolo Show to sign up today. guitar solo And now, here it is.
Here it is.
I actually have the real theme song, but you can't play it because whatever, it gets flagged.
It's fucking dirty.
Anyways, great show tonight, Ed.
Great show.
Good to see you.
You smell like pickle juice.
Great show.
We got Robin Leach here.
He's got the show, you know, the rich and the fat and the cocaine heads.
And a very, a real hard-drinking,
angry man,
Billy Martin,
manager of the New York Yankees.
This guy likes to fight and fuck.
Am I right, Ed?
And somebody else
that wants to do the same thing,
Billie Jean King.
That's right.
She's got more pussy
than Billy Martin has
as manager of the Yankees.
Am I right?
Legs on her like tree trunks.
All right.
Let's get on with it.
Shall we get right to it?
It's what?
All right.
I just thought of something.
Milk and bread.
Right.
Right.
See this shirt, by the way?
Who bought me this?
The late, great Greg Zook, my buddy, passed away in February.
I did my first Letterman. You don't get this. I mean, they give you a basket with booze and
whatever the fuck, but after the show, I come out, he's got this for me. Or I wouldn't really
have anything other than the clip. Such a good guy. And you know what he would do after I do
the Tonight Show? He'd always be there.
We'd go to a steakhouse and have a huge steak
and a Heineken.
And what's so funny was
I'm watching Sopranos
and Tony did the same thing
every time they waxed.
Every time they said,
kill somebody.
Nothing Dallas.
All right, listen.
No, it's reverence.
I love it. reverence I love it
no I'm just busting your chops mr. de Palin I could be as nasty as as you
pretend to be unless they they really wanted to be disliked I'll go home and
get your fucking shine box the fuck crowd today, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm just trying to think of anything else personal that went on.
Did I cook last night? I did, but I can't even remember it.
I give up, man.
Let's get to it, since I got nothing.
First story, and again, remember, folks, this is coming out of a diehard Boston Red Sox fan who actually, I think, and this isn't,
I watched almost every game because of my cable.
I played for the package, and it's,
and even last night, game 161, they're 22 games out,
which I don't remember them ever being like that.
But you know what's sad?
Dennis Eckersley, and I know I'm boring you people who aren't from Boston.
Dennis Eckersley grew up in Northern California,
went into the Hall of Famers at Oakland A,
had over 300 saves, not to mention I don't know how many wins as a starter.
He was an MVP of the league one year.
Cy Young, All-Star six times.
I mean, a legit Hall of Famer. What I love is he came to
Boston. He became that great reliever. And I couldn't believe when his career was over,
he didn't go back to California. I mean, it was nice back then, Northern California. He stuck
around Boston with that shitty weather. I used to remember seeing him while I was getting drunk at
Faneuil Hall. I remember one night seeing him while I was getting drunk at Faneuil Hall.
I remember one night
seeing him come out of a place
called Daisy Buchanan's,
which is a real place
to get dirty whores.
Let's put it that way.
And, you know, he's the guy.
He's always, he has a tan
around the, you know,
the whole year he has a tan
and he's, you know,
Remy's, Jerry Remy,
and I love Eckersley
as much as I do.
He's got all this lingo.
He talks like he's in the 70s.
He's a fucking unique, nice guy.
And so tonight's his last game.
But last night he was talking about getting choked up.
He's like, I'm a New Englander now.
You know, I'm a Bostonian.
Which was, it was really, again, I'm boring the shit out of you.
But I was getting choked up.
I'm a real bitch.
Father dies, not one drop.
Eckersley, fucking broadcast it, and I got a lump in my throat.
And I thought, why is that?
Well, I'll tell you why.
Because some of my best memories were going to Fenway Park while he was still pitching.
I had just got out of college, living with my buddy, you know, right in Boston, chasing
broads every night and seeing him
and Fanny. You know, he was just in the paper every day and shit. Now he's going back for
a silly reason. He's got grandchildren. But that's why he's gone. It's really bumming
me out. Jerry Remy, we know. He had cancer. He's been fighting it off for fucking 20 years.
But Eck, God damn it, Eck.
I want you to rethink it.
The kids will be all on fentanyl anyways.
You'll regret going out there.
Anyways, I bullshitted enough.
Let's go to the first story.
And, uh... Hear ye! Hear ye!
The coat's in session.
The coat's in session now.
Here come the judge. Here come the judge.
And I'll say it again, and I'm a Red Sox fan.
That's how I get on this rant.
But Aaron, I love him.
I think he's great for baseball.
Just a gentle giant.
And the guy just always smiling, even when the umps, blows, calls and shit.
And finally last night, a lot of pressure.
I think tonight's the last regular season game.
So last night, you know, the pressure's been on him for a month now.
And he doesn't really like it because he's a humble guy.
Aaron Judge hit his 62nd home run.
Yankees fans will relish the calls for posterity.
Judge's home run passed Roger Marris, 61, from 1961.
Isn't that fucking weird?
It is kind of weird.
For the American League record,
Ian leaves him only trailing the MLB totals
of Barry Bonds, Mark McGuire, Sammy Sosa, all of them.
Their urine was worth $400 an ounce.
They had so many steroids in them.
And look look you can
argue this all day and shit but i was just saying adele is we know this guy's clean i don't think
anybody's going to come near it unless they're juicing and you're saying well he didn't he didn't
have to he's six eight two eighty or six seven two eighty and he's a natural born this guy would
like not even get good piece of the ball and it would go out of
right field. You know what I mean? It's like Herman Munster. Do you remember Herman played baseball?
They show the baseball. Eddie, I smacked that one. But yeah, so last night, anyways, they,
all those other guys use drugs. I don't think this, we know this guy's clean. And by the way, adopted. Can you imagine
you adopt a baby and it grows up to be this? Other people adopt a baby and it shoots up the high
school. That's why I never thought of adopting, except for this Indian girl. She's like 18.
My wife wasn't having it. But anyhow, anyways uh i'm so happy for this guy
judge's home run came in the top of the first inning in arlington texas
off jesus imagine that off jesus it was just born to be uh tanoco a one one pitch and uh
john sterling who again i lived in new york for a while he's the he was
the tv guy now he's the radio play but 84 years old he's still doing it i read he retired a couple
years ago he must have said uh the wife's in paul anyways he had the call on the radio wfan and
michael k is the voice of the historic home run for the network, which was on TV. But here is Sterling's call, right?
Because I like his call the best.
He does it all the time.
But here we go.
Swung on.
There it goes.
Deep left.
It is high.
It is far.
It is gone.
Number 62 to set the new American League record.
Aaron Judge hits his 62nd.
All the Yankees out of the dugout to greet him.
Just think of it.
Three Yankee right fielders.
The Babe hitting 60 and 27.
The Jolly Roger hitting 60 and 27.
The Jolly Roger hitting 61 and 61.
And now Aaron Judge hits his 62nd home run.
The most home runs any American leaguer has hit in a single season.
And the American League has been alive for 120 years.
Like yourself.
All right.
He was the best guy around.
Good for baseball, I say.
What a year.
Don't tell me he's not the MVP.
Don't even mention his 130-something RBIs. He almost came this close to the Triple Crown.
Last week, he was in the running.
He was hitting 315 i guess you know
had a couple of and uh mother of god good for him now this is a contract year folks you understand
the yankees gonna have to back up a 10 brinks trucks in it it's gonna be and i think what
they'll do is let all the other teams if he opts to be a free agent, put
their bids in, and then if I'm the
Yankees, I listen to them all and then go, here's one
more dollar than the highest bidder.
Whatever. I think that's
the way. He's got to stay in New York.
You know, but they probably
said that about Babe Ruth, but it was a different world
then. You know?
A lot of drunken whores in Boston. He went up there
and, no, in New York. He said, sorry.
Anyways, congratulations to the big fella. They're not going to win the World Series.
I'm sorry, Yankees fans. They're going to break your heart again, but money's on the Astros.
Yeah, Astros. Astros, Dodgers. Yes.
That's what I would think.
And the Astros win because they're going to cheat again.
Anyways, no, I don't know.
Speaking of a lot of money, he'll be worth as much as this guy.
No.
Elon Musk and Twitter back on again?
Are they dating again?
Elon Musk has reversed course and is again proposing.
God, he looks like Christopher Reeves in a wheelchair there.
Doesn't he?
Right after he fell off the pony in front of the supermarket.
They put the quarter in.
Why are you going to say that? I don't know.
Fucking mean by nature.
Reversed course and is again proposing to buy Twitter for $54.20. I can find, oh, a share.
According to sources familiar with the matter.
Sources familiar with the matter.
Oh, that dirty cocksucker.
Twitter shares surged 15% on Tuesday.
Whoa.
After Bloomberg first reported the Tesla CEO's plan to go forth with his deal to acquire the company,
the stock was halted after the report.
Imagine having that kind of power.
You fart and the fucking stock market goes crazy.
I just don't understand how it works.
My brother does.
He's up every day trading.
His kid's even better than him.
It's fucking unbelievable.
I'm home going, how do you, I need change for a five. I don't,
do you want to ask for four quarter? A few weeks after Musk agreed to the deal earlier this year,
valuing Twitter at $44 billion, he quickly changed course and tried to back out of the agreement.
And you know, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Twitter sued Musk for backing out to force him to go
through with the purchase.
The two sides were scheduled to go to court on October 17th.
Why is it that, do you guys feel like me, you know he did it right.
You know this is probably his plan all along.
I'm going to go in, pull back, I'm going to tease him, do some research.
I just feel like he's outsmarting it, these nitwits.
Of course he is.
He's putting people on freaking Mars.
He's not dumb. That's what I mean. He's putting people on Mars and these other people are shutting down guys like me because I'm really going to hurt the political scene by saying,
fuck Hillary's thick ankle. I mean, the deal could close as soon as this Friday. The billionaire
businessman purchased a 9.6% stake in the company before rejecting a seat on Twitter's board and threatening a hostile takeover.
He offered to buy out Twitter for $44 billion in April,
but then tried to back out of the deal in July by claim.
What do you mean by claiming?
It's fact.
Just little words like that.
By claiming that Twitter had made false claims
about how many fake or bought accounts are on its platform.
And they do that, folks, to control the narrative.
You understand?
Those bots aren't even fucking real.
But, you know, I put up a tweet.
They don't like their algorithms.
And I still am still being shadow banned.
I could put up the funniest.
I could put up a picture of me choking a
newborn baby with my bare hands
and it would get three likes.
Alright,
bad example. You know what I mean.
Anyway, I hope it changes
because I used to love tweeting. I had funny
tweets, as you'd imagine.
My favorite one, I'm holding up an
octopus I was going to cook
and I put underneath, I said,
me cooking octopus or cleaning the sink at Planned Parenthood?
And another one that got a huge response, it wasn't that funny,
but I was watching college football, Dallas,
and I can't remember the team was on, but the punter had red hair,
and I said, when did Billy
Burr become the punter for Purdue or whatever the fuck?
Within like minutes, 2,600 likes.
It was like, oh, it's not even funny.
Let's move on.
After Twitter sued Musk to make him follow through with the agreement, he added claims
from a whistleblower, that's somebody who worked at Twitter, that Twitter deceived regulators about
extreme egregious deficiencies in combating hackers and spam to his complaint. In other words, he goes,
we know. So he's for free speech. Look, I'm not naive. I don't know. This guy's a player. I don't
know. He's one of the 10 guys when I talk about complaining who's running the, so I don't know. This guy's a player. I don't know. He's one of the 10 guys when I talk about
complaining who's running the... So I don't know. I mean, because he's a liberal guy,
but he's had enough. And I'm being Pollyannish maybe, but I believe him this time.
I think he's sick of how Twitter was being used. Anyways, if he backs out again,
if you back out again, I'm just warning you, if I see you in New York when I go there, I'm an exotic dancer in the winter, this is what I'm going to do to you right on the sidewalk.
Oy, oy, oy.
Would have been better if you could hear the slap.
What the fuck?
Should have pulled up Moe from the Stooges.
You ever watch that?
I was watching this.
It's like in Russia, of course, wherever.
There's two blonde broads.
They're both 12s on a scale of five.
And they're wearing like miniskirt.
Fucking, you can see their panties and shit.
Of course.
Like it's not enough two beautiful girls smacking each other.
Gotta love Russia.
Or whoever it was.
It might have been Scandinavia.
Two tens just smacking each other.
Of course, one of them had a neck like a fucking linebacker.
And the other girl would crack her and she'd go like this.
And then she hit the other girl and the fucking head flew off like a Barbie doll.
Hey, guys.
And then she hit the other girl.
The fucking head flew off like a Barbie doll.
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Thank you guys very, very much.
You know, I'm here in Georgia, folks, and you remember there was a big stink the last election down here in Georgia.
I can't even remember what it was, but it was.
Go ahead, Dallas.
I'll throw that in your lap.
It was... Go ahead, Dallas.
I'll throw that in your lap.
No, it was the new voter laws
that they're putting in place
to essentially require IDs to vote
and all that.
And that was a big problem, apparently.
So that's why...
Wait a minute.
No, I'm not talking...
The presidential election?
Well, voter laws in general
that apply to the state elections,
which is what Stacey Abrams is all upset about.
Yeah, but I'm talking about the last presidential election.
It was a controversy.
Okay, so that one is where Kemp didn't immediately issue an order to review everything and Trump was pissed off about it.
That's right.
And the Secretary of the State, Sutton Burger,
let's call him Cheeseburger.
Yeah, he was a filthy.
All of a sudden, they recounted the votes too and whatever.
It was filthy, let's put it that way.
I found 500 votes for Trump in my garage here in Savannah.
I don't know how they got there.
But anyways, we got this jerk off senator warnock who every commercial
and you guys feel the same way it's happening in every state with different you know he's up for
you know him and herschel walker fighting over his seat and warnock's at all he knows what he's
doing he's been around politics he knows how to cheat and um but they're putting all kinds of
filthy shit out there about Herschel,
which I got to be honest with you folks, I kind of tend
to believe. This guy was
a fucking badass when he was young.
Arguably the greatest
running back in college history.
Then he went to the pros.
Remember when the fucking
the Vikings traded him to
Dallas or Dallas traded him to the Vikings?
What was the big trade? I think he went to the Vikings. Anyways to Dallas or Dallas traded him to the Vikings? What was the big trade?
I think he went to the Vikings.
Anyways, it was like eight guys for Herschel Walker in one trade.
That's how good he was.
Anyways, he's running against Warnock. The Georgia Senate race heating up following the establishment media
airing accusations against Republican Senate candidate Herschel Walker.
All the while, that same establishment media conveniently continued to ignore the domestic
controversies swirling around Herschel's opponent, Senator Raphael Warnock.
Are you interested in the real story?
Yeah.
By the way, he looks just like my buddy Keith Robinson.
It's a combination of Keith Robinson and... And a Muppet?
There you go.
I can see that. Or J.B. Smoove,
who I love, black dude,
who's on, you know what, Larry David
show.
Curb your enthusiasm. It's a combination
of those two. It'd be funny if you knew what I was talking about.
Walker appeared on
Hannity Monday night asking Hannity, what's with the bulletproof hairdo? Reacting to a report from the Daily Beast,
which talked to an anonymous woman who claimed that Walker not only encouraged her to get an
abortion and abort their child in 2009, but paid for it. So I don't know. He's a Christian, but...
Oh, shut that off. That's gross. So yeah, so Hannity asked him, when questioned on the show
about whether he knew who the woman was, of course it says he know who the woman was.
He know.
Yeah, he know.
He know.
He said, I have no idea, but it's a flat out lie.
And then he said, liar, liar, whore, and a white boy, you know, one arc, however, is no strange
in a family controversy. I remember this shit, the last election coming up, uh, despite, but you
see how the media just so fucking ignores it. Like I said, it's what they omit is as dangerous as what they
put out there. Despite the corporate media's framing otherwise, perhaps most famously,
Warnock found himself in the middle of a domestic dispute in 2020 after his now ex-wife,
Olie Ndoye, I just divorced her because of her name, accused him of running over her foot with his car.
We showed that when it happened.
Remember, they're in the driveway.
The cops are there.
And Warnock's like, I just backed out.
I thought she was here.
And then she's yelling, I hit her.
I don't believe it.
He's so calm and shit.
And they had a fight.
You know, you could tell.
And she was crying.
And sorry, surprise, but I believe the wife here.
I usually say no.
Usually, you know.
Body cam footage of the authorities' visit features Nadal telling police that her husband is a great actor.
Georgia Democrat Raphael Warnock's ex-wife on his character after he allegedly ran over her foot with his car. This is him,
this is her, the wife, after the, this is the same morning, and she explains how she feels about
her husband and his personality.
United States Senate, and all he cares about right now is his reputation. I work at the
mayor's office, and this is a big problem. I've been trying to be very
quiet about the way that he is for the sake of my kids and his reputation. I've tried to keep the
way that he acts under wraps for a long time and today he crossed the line. I'm with her. Sorry.
She can't act that good. No black chicks can. Have you ever seen Oprah in the color purple?
I'm kidding, folks. Plenty of great
black actors out there. Flip Wilson, he used to do that one. What an asshole, Nick. Yeah,
fuck off. Suck a bag of dicks, you fucking filthy. Anyways, I do believe her. Seems like a good lady.
According to reports, the dispute started over divorce paperwork. That's how I believe it.
According to reports, the dispute started over divorce paperwork.
That's how I believe it.
That can get amid his Senate bid against former Senator Kelly Loeffler, seen here, of course, attractive because he's a Republican.
His family disputes do not end there, as his ex-wife also took legal action over child custody, accusing him, Warnock, of being in willful contempt on their arrangement.
So get on the horn with Farrah and Farrah.
Counselor.
Counselor.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Ba-ba-ba, Warnock failed to inverse.
She says, you know what, child support, whatever the fuck.
The button was going and then it rolled past me, but I know the story.
I was involved in it. I was dating her.
I met her at a Dave and Buster's
playing skee-ball.
An ass like an
nectarine. Am I right?
Anyways, yeah, so
and I believe, what? A black guy
not paying child support on time? No.
He's a politician.
I'm sorry. I gotta
fucking go with that lady.
Failed to reimburse Ndoye, has
left her financially strapped,
leaving the children in her care
when she should be, this is what she said,
concentrating on work-related and school-
related responsibilities.
So yeah, she wants
to, and she wants to go back to Howard University.
She seems like a good lady.
I'm just saying.
This guy, I see him around town making commercials.
It's everything I can do not to drive my car over him, but you know what happens then, right?
Then I get a strike on YouTube.
Anyways, Herschel is no angel either, okay?
But he is, I think he's one of those born-again Christians.
You can't be a Christian when your high's been running back and everybody wants to bang you every time you buy a sandwich on the campus.
Anyway, Herschel has a son who's flamboyantly gay,
which I bet you he fucking wanted to choke his wife.
He's like, that don't come from me.
Look at me, motherfucker.
which I bet you he fucking wanted to choke his wife.
He's like, that don't come from me.
Look at me, motherfucker.
Anyway, Herschel's son let the public know yesterday on Twitter how he feels about his dad.
Last time I saw him, he was on Fox with Herschel about a year ago.
And I mean, he had makeup on and like the blonde hair or whatever.
I'm like, oh my God.
And Herschel's sticking right by him,
like the father should. But I want to disbelieve this kid, but you listen. I'll let you make up your mind. But I got to believe what he's saying is true. He let the public know how he feels about
his dad. I've stayed silent for nearly two years as my whole life has been lied about publicly. I did
one campaign event and then I said, what am I reading it all for? Just go ahead. Watch what
he says about his dad. I stayed silent as the atrocities committed against my mom were downplayed.
I stayed silent when it came out that my father, Herschel Walker, had all these random kids across
the country, none of whom he raised and you know my favorite issue to
talk about is father absence surprise positive no it isn't that's not your favorite subject it's
frozen um i couldn't think of it jesus christ he's the delay there. Anyways, let this poor, this kid.
Affected me.
That's why I talk about it all the time.
Because it affected me.
Family values people.
He has four kids, four different women.
Wasn't in the house raising one of them.
He was out having sex with other women.
Do you care about family values?
Keep your head straight.
I have a silent lie after lie after lie.
The abortion card drops yesterday. It's literally his handwriting in the car. They say they have receipts. I can't believe I'm listening to that's a kid related
to Herschel Walker. And he sounds like, you know, he's going to be on fucking RuPaul show next week,
which is fine, but it's very, isn't it amazing?
So I'm digressing here, but you got all that testosterone with this old man
and the wife's genes overpowered the fucking, right?
And he's actually a pretty kid.
He'll do well in the bathhouses, at least when I'm there.
Am I right?
Anyways, he's very flamboyant in making his, go ahead, let him
finish up, he gets on twitter, he lies
about it, okay I'm done
done, everything has been
a lie, and so for the
right to say I'm being suspicious
for saying hey I'm done with the lies
when you all have been calling me saying
is this true about your dad, gosh we're not gonna win
Georgia, this Canada, that's been
you, You have
no idea what I've been through in my life.
You have no idea what me and my mom
have survived. We could have ended this on
day one. We had...
Why didn't you?
Why didn't you?
So you're a co-conspirator to his
bullshit. So think
about that there before you get your
very nice satin panties up in a dirty bunch.
I believe it, though.
I'm sorry.
I'm believing what he says.
Guys are fucking guys.
You know what I'm saying?
Except for me.
I stay home.
Honey, would you like a waffle?
Go ahead.
Let the fact finish up.
I haven't told any stories.
I'm just saying don't lie don't lie on my
mom don't lie on me don't lie on the lives you've destroyed and act like you're some moral family
man y'all should care about that conservatives and then for people on the left to act as though
i'm responsible for all of the things that he has done i've talked about father i've talked all
these because they've been close to me Because they matter to me
Because I went through it
That's why I've talked about it
So when you say
Well talk about your dad
I am
I'm saying this behavior is atrocious
Don't come for me
You don't have to like my father
You don't have to like me
You don't have to
I'm just saying I'm done with the lies
Alright good enough
We were told
Alright
Oh that dirty cocksucker
Boy is he theatrical But I'm going to be honest with you folks You know We were all right. Oh, that dirty cocksucker.
Boy, is he theatrical.
But I'm going to be honest with you folks, you know, and I'd like to see Herschel win the fucking seat.
Seems like he's come around. And that's the other thing.
Oh, we always give, you know, you know how it's funny when like Michael Vick or some black guy does something.
He got to get a second.
Everybody gets a second chance.
You don't hear that coming from the right from anybody.
Anyways, kid, relax.
Everything will be fine.
Dad's there are white niggers.
I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time.
In our RTR segment, Dallas was very excited to get to this.
Reverse the races is what that stands for,
ladies and gentlemen. A group that implies affiliation with the University of Chicago
has organized a series of activist events this fall, including a discussion of navigating race,
that's in quotes, for non-white people only. You believe that?
You snotty little bastard. Non-white people only. They're going to discuss race.
Again, this is a black group on a university. Well, they say they're indirectly related to
the University of Chicago. They want to discuss. You know, all we hear is we need to open an honest dialogue about
race, but don't let white people in. You fucking, you black people are the most racist people. I'll
say it again. You're the most, and you know what? And I always quote this again. They admitted that
when I was living in New York, they used to poll New York Post, who were the most, and black people
said about themselves that they were the most. Finally, some truth. But can you imagine, can you imagine a white school saying,
we're going to have discussions about race? No people of color, no fucking Indians,
no cripples. Cripples? What's that got to do with race? I don't know. They turn yellow in their legs.
I don't know.
They don't exercise.
What?
Shut up.
University of Chicago United, which was founded in 2017.
Wow.
What a deep history.
Sounds like a soccer club.
Yeah, it does, doesn't it?
It does.
You Chicago United.
And you know what their mascot should be? Laurie Lightfoot's face with a gun to her in her mouth.
Look at the faggy colored hands.
No white hands there.
First of all, you got a blue hand.
Who the fuck's purple, red?
You got an Indian.
That orange might go as white.
I don't know.
University of Chicago United, which was founded in 2017, claims as its mission, listen to
the end quote, to structurally transform the University of Chicago's campus
into a truly inclusive space
that fits the needs of and empowers students of color.
Translation, to get fucking whitey away from us
and run this place ourselves,
even though we have proven as a race
that we can't run shit.
I added that.
Is that race?
I don't give a fuck.
I was on the David Letterman show.
The group also expresses hope of impacting the greater Chicago community as well.
And then they asked me, Nick, what do you think of the idea?
And I said, oh.
That's what I think, you motherfucker.
You stinky mother.
To that end, it has invited incoming freshmen to what it calls, you motherfucker. You stinky mother...
To that end, it has invited incoming freshmen to what it calls...
Listen to this.
You're going to tell me they're not trying to flip this society upside down.
They call it, incoming freshmen, disorientation.
Which is actually perfect, because that's what you're doing.
Once these kids learn this shit, they will be disoriented
when they go out the door and face the real world
after they're done taking your fucking racist education out there.
Disorientation, an annual fall program that attempts to educate them about the real University of Chicago,
which suggests is unfriendly to everyone who is not white.
Who the fuck do you think you are? Who do you think you are. Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who the fuck?
That was a white incoming freshman
who had to go through the disorienting.
They let him in so he could tell his friends.
Can you imagine?
Can you imagine saying that a college campus,
I don't give a fuck if it's DeVry.
There's not one college
campus who doesn't suck the ass of people of color in this country because they're just fucking
indoctrination camps for this shit. It's the most PC place you can be. Well, I say PC, but it's
really not because it's racist against whites. But to say that it's unfriendly to everybody
except white people, you have to be dicking me. Some of the events of the disorientation,
that's fucking, I had to hand it to him. That's pretty clever. 2022 include anti-militarism 101,
facing gentrification and abolition, a walking detour, D-E, of UChicago campus and race at UChicago.
I don't, what, huh?
They asked a student, I think he's a sophomore or junior, a black student, culinary arts at the school,
about the new program, and here's what he had to say about the disorientation.
This house is so gone crazy.
Oh, my God, I love that guy.
Still alive.
Now, race at UChicago is especially noteworthy since it deliberately excludes white people from attending. Can you imagine?
Black guys are going to be disappointed. Hey, where are the white women at?
Race at UChicago is a BIPOC only. That's black, indigenous, people of color. I actually knew that.
That's how much that drove this into my head. Only space for honest discussion of why don't
you put up a sign that says whites need not apply,
you know? Yeah, not allowed. Put it up. Have the balls to. Oh, because then you'd be just like
the Bull Connors and the fucking George Wallaces that you guys hated so much that you've turned
into, you fucking people. Honest discussion of navigating race at UChicago between new and old students.
The description of the event reads, despite the direct exclusion of white people at this event,
UChicago United has offered white ally workshops.
What the fuck?
What does that mean?
At disorientation in the past.
I wonder if that's black kids who have white friends.
It is unclear whether non-white people were forbidden to attend such workshops.
There are white niggers.
I've seen a lot of white niggers in my time.
I'm going to use that word.
I don't, Dean Warmer.
It's also unclear whether the invitation for old students refers to upperclassmen and graduate students
or, as the Daily Caller suggests, you know, alumni.
They call them old people.
You're the most ignorant people on the planet.
I'm talking about Chicago.
Laurie Lightfoot, you may.
Fuck it, what else do I have to say?
Though the group name you Chicago United, that's the other thing.
It's got the word united in it.
You fucking people are just evil. Hints that the group is strongly affiliated with the university.
There is little evidence to suggest a direct link. Bullshit.
White power, one, two, three, four.
That's a song written by my mama. Anyways, can you imagine, can you imagine, imagine, it's like sandwich.
Good fellas.
Tomorrow we go on a diet. We eat sandwiches.
That's a diet to Italian mobsters.
That line.
I mean, it makes sense.
Yeah.
Best way to shed fucking, best way to get ripped, Italian bread with a prosciutto salami and provolone.
Anyways, guys, make plans to come see me on the road.
I'll be hitchhiking on 516 West.
Here are my upcoming stand-up dates.
Friday, November 11th, Palm Beach Kennel Club,
West Palm Beach, Florida.
The next night, Saturday, November 12th,
Snappers Comedy Club.
It's still up.
God bless you, Fort Myers, Florida.
Sunday, November 13th, Sidesplitters Comedy Club in Tampa.
A great club.
And at that Tampa show, I'll be doing a live Q&A after the show with VIP ticket holders.
So grab them before they're gone.
And you can get tickets to all these shows at nickdip.com.
Hope to see you guys out there.
Finally tonight, I think.
We've got two left, but if you want us to do one.
Yeah, it doesn't matter.
We keep the show.
I don't know.
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.
Taking one for the team or taking 101.
I didn't know how to put that.
This story made me hard as a shark's tooth.
I'm sorry.
I hope it does you too.
This girl's a hero to me.
Honestly, you guys think I'm kidding.
I don't understand why when this happens they're worried about young boys and they're...
We're made differently.
Will you stop with the horseshit?
A California athletic trainer whose father was a legendary high school football coach
is accused of sexually abusing teen football players. Right there, I go, I'm sorry, but a young woman doing
sexual shit with teen football players is a blessing. I'll say it again. You think I'm kidding.
You really think it's going to ruin their fucking, it's different than a guy molesting a young girl.
It's just different.
We're made of steel.
We have no feelings.
We want pussy at that age, even if it's wrongly done.
Abusing teen football players.
Dating back.
I'm being dead serious.
I have a whole bit on it, which is genius.
I can't remember which album.
Dating back.
Oh, yeah, the line in my bit is, it is genius. I can't remember which album. Dating back then.
Oh, yeah, the line in my bit is,
it's going to change a kid's life forever.
Yeah, you won't be able to go to the mall without signing 500 autographs.
When the hot teacher fucked his...
Anyways, sexually assaulting play.
Dating back to more than a decade,
according to her...
I was trying to figure out the math how old she was.
A group of ex-Colton High School football stars
claimed the alleged sexual abuse by high school trainer Tiffany Strauss Gordon persisted.
There she is.
A little bit crazy looking, but God bless you.
Got the hair of the Riddler.
Persisted even though coaches with the program were suspicious
of her behavior you think the coaches are gonna step in uh the lawsuit argues i i just uh don't
understand all the fucking yeah the coaches are upset we're you know nervous and uh oh boy you
an attorney for the six players suing strauss-Gordon and the Colton School system
told CBS Los Angeles the sexual abuse of the minors took place all over campus.
Oh, my God, she's driving a car.
Come on, God damn it.
Come on, let's go, let's go.
That's the head coach.
No, that's the fire.
I can't say that.
All right, let's say that was the assistant trying to pick her up at the student union.
That would include the locker room.
This is where she played around with these guys.
The locker room.
I mean, this is like a fucking, you know what, a hustler letter, at least for a 60-year-old.
That would include the locker room for the varsity football players, training rooms.
Why did I?
I always had male guys doing my groin.
True.
I always had a groin.
I believe that.
I know you do.
That's a creepy voice.
Weight training rooms, weight rooms, classrooms, bathroom.
This girl is a player.
She's the Aaron Judge of this team.
In vans to football-related events.
Jesus!
In vans!
Halftime with a marching band.
And at a few
homes. Lawyer Brian
Williams. First of all, it's Brian Williams. We know
he's fucking lying. I don't care if he's a lawyer
or he's a fucking news guy.
All right?
She's a little whore.
No, she ain't.
And a little piece of trash.
Shut up.
Strauss Gordon is the daughter of late gridiron coach Harold Strauss,
who had a legendary career leading the Yellow Jackets
and is credited with helping multiple high school athletes
move on to professional football.
The daughter was a trainer while her father coached.
Kind of makes you wonder how she was.
A little bit I, about the dad.
You know, when they're that wild.
A little diddle dandy. Yeah, maybe
a diddle dandy. You're very
lucky if you run into a girl like this.
Folks, relax.
Williams told the news station coaches
Williams told the news
station coaches joked about the
trainer's actions and dubbed it
Tiffany's special
treatment you see how guys treat it differently than like what you know a
woman coat whatever they're gonna step in and Strauss Gordon's alleged
inappropriate behavior connected to the legal action took place from 2001 to
2007 that's a lot of handjobs,
on players whose ages ranged from 14 to 17.
And I'll say it again, your hormones are going crazy.
And she hit the fucking release valve, big deal.
14 to 17, the East Bay Times reported,
the lawsuit reportedly claims she had sexual intercourse
with and gave oral sex to the teen boys.
I'm still not seeing the problem here.
I don't mean to be an asshole.
On three, the sheer volume of oral copulation
and sexual intercourse occurring between Gordon and the minor student-athletes was not insignificant,
and defendants knew or should have known of the blatant sexual misconduct occurring,
the lawsuit states, according to the newspaper.
Strauss-Gordon additionally sexually pleasured coaches.
For Christ's sake, she's tremendous.
She definitely had, anyways,
additional sexually pleasured coaches, the suit alleges. One photo from 2000,
they made the first part of the article like the coaches knew what was going on, but they weren't
going to get, now they get actually involved. One photo from 2005 even showed her giving oral sex. I can't find the picture. I scoured the internet.
To a coach who had actually went for it on fourth down on his own 28.
She was so turned on, she said, I'll blow you right here.
Spread among players, the East Bay.
So the team saw the picture of her blowing a coach.
That would get you fired up to win a game.
Am I right?
Her motto on her, you know.
Please give me a cup.
And boy, did they ever.
Although the current administrative team members
were not in leadership roles with the district 20 years ago,
the district leadership team is extremely concerned
about the allegations being made.
The school told the East Bay Times.
Here it comes.
Here comes the speech at the end.
Our commitment is always to the safety.
Once again, anytime there's some fun involved, you'll ruin it under the guise of safety.
Safety. What was she going to do? Bite their cocks? What are you talking about?
Our commitment is always to the safety and well-being of our students, families, and staff.
And we will work with the local law enforcement. Yeah, arrest her for being a good girl.
with the local law enforcement. Yeah, arrest her for being a good girl.
Local enforcement to protect our community
and lend our support to any victims.
Will you shut up?
Will you?
Will you please shut up?
Will you shut up?
Shut up!
Shut up!
Exactly.
An attorney representing Strauss-Gordon
said if she faces criminal charge
stressed to the LA Times,
no charges have been filed. Exactly, no charges have been filed.
Exactly.
No charges have been filed.
So who's making a stink about it?
I'm guessing that's not how they would have handled that story on MSNBC,
but I kind of went at it from a different angle.
When you're that horny, some of you kids are virgins at that point. You want
a piece of it.
Honest to God, I'm not being ironic here.
It's how I feel.
It doesn't work the other way. Guys do that to
a girl because they actually have
feelings and they don't think with their clits.
Unless you get them
in a headlock.
Anyways.
That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast unless you get him in a headlock. Anyways, all right.
That's it for today, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to roast a friend or relative.
Go to Cameo.com, and that's it.
You guys think it, I will say it.
You're very welcome.
See you back here for the final day of the week tomorrow.
Have a good day. We'll be right back. guitar solo Thanks for watching!