The Nick DiPaolo Show - New Hampshire to DeBlasio "Not Interested" #139

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

DeBlasio: Low Energy, Low Numbers. Meghan McCain Responds to POTUS. Bernie's Speech Writer a fan of Venezuela and Zebra. 

Perhaps, and the, yes, McDonald is here, live, on Monday Night Raw. He's still here. And Mr. Trump, not coming alone. I like how he travels. Donald Trump is in a world he is not familiar with. This is not real estate. This is the WWE.

Oh, no! Oh, I was thinking of this beer. I was thinking of this beer. Oh, no! Oh, I was in the sphere! I was in the sphere! Hey, look at this! I'm on a cross! Oh, my God! Holy s***! What the hell?

The ring just imploded! The ring blew up! How are you? How's it going, folks? Welcome to the show on a big Wednesday. 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425. Coming at you live, as always. No, Wednesday. We'll do it live. We'll do it live! Fuck it!

Do it live! I'll write it and we'll do it live! Yes, we will, goddammit. I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore. I want all of you to enjoy your cake. So, enjoy. How are you, folks? Good to be with you. Real quick, shoutouts, contributions.

Larry Hay, Susan Rediger, Georgia Wiltshire. Thank you guys so much for donating. If you want to contribute financially, go to nickdip.com and make a contribution. 833-599-6425 is the phone number. What do we got going on today? phone number um what do we get going on today we got uh trump i guess mccain really got under his skin even now that mccain's gone he's still under trump's skin it's one of the few things i disagreed with trump on when he was running and they brought up john mccain and he said uh you know i like heroes that don't get captured, which I thought was so fucking stupid.

And I still think it's stupid. But the press keeps, I don't know, bringing it up. And again, I appreciate Trump's candor. But well, here's the latest about Donald Trump and the late John McCain. President, why are you attacking Senator Obama? I'm very unhappy that he didn't repeal and replace Obamacare, as you know. He campaigned on repealing and replacing Obamacare for years. And then he got to a vote and he said, thumbs down.

And our country would have saved a trillion dollars and we would have had great health care. So he campaigned. He told us hours before that he was going to repeal and replace. And then for some reason, I think I understand the reason he end up. I think I understand the reason I do, too. I think it's when you were running and you said he's not a hero because he get captured. Paraphrasing. The guy spent five years in a Vietnamese prison camp, fucking Hanoi Hilton, five years. He was offered the opportunity to leave before all his other guys and he refused to do so. He was broken up and battered. He's a war fucking hero, Mr. President. battered. He's a war fucking hero, Mr. President. And you could say, look, I didn't like his,

you could say I didn't like him as a politician. I didn't like his politics. I respect him as a man and what he did. You could couch it a little bit. But, you know, this is not going to help you. I think it's kind of a dumb approach. But again again I appreciate the candor and when they said why are you still attacking McCain now that he has passed he didn't even flinch because he voted wrong in Obama and we know why he did

and if I was Trump I would dislike him too with the Steele dossier you know who handed that over to Congress it was fucking McCain he got it from a guy in Canada. So I understand all that. But just for political, be a little savvy politically. Again, I'm being a hypocrite because I like that he does not give a fuck. So I'm being a bit of a hit. I'm just saying I would couch it differently. I'd say, look, I respect him

as a military guy and a guy who put his life. Don't forget, Mr. Trump, he wasn't over, he didn't get captured while he's vacationing in Vietnam. He was over there fighting for what he believes is right and for the, you know, for the rights of us to shoot our mouths off the way we do. So, you know, I'm not with you on this one. You fucking, you know. And you know damn well, after you say that shit

while you're writing for president about him. That's why I gave you one of these. I'm repealing Obama. He stuck it right up here. I think Trump got under his that thing bothered McCain more than he would lead on. So but I just don't think politically it's you're bringing heat on yourself. But again, he doesn't give a shit. So but as far as that stuff,

I don't know. I'd just say, hey. Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up! Shut up! And you know I don't say that often. But Meghan McCain, John's daughter, who's been the object of President Trump's

eye over the last several days, responded to the attacks with a phrase favored by the Arizona Republican, as my father always used to say to me, illegitimi non carbonatum, which, that's Latin, so she's really sticking in Trump's eye. If you asked Trump what that meant, he'd say, non-carbonated beverage sucks. I think that's the Latin saying is typically translated as don't let the bastards get you down. And, well, I guess Trump, Mr. Cain, has taken your words.

He thinks you're a bastard and he's not letting, you know, he's not letting you get him down with handing over the dossier, voting against repealing Obamacare. So, but again, Trump could be a lot smarter politically. I don't blame Meghan McCain, who I kind of like, by the way. Seems like a regular. You gotta like McCain. McCain was in the Navy, hard drinking dude, but politically he was soft. He was dog shit politically, in my opinion, too. But I'm not the president.

I can fucking say that. What, are my approval ratings going to go down on fucking YouTube? Our country, he says, I just show would have saved trillions of dollars. We would have had great health care. We don't know that. Probably right, but we don't know that. He told us hours before that he was going to repeal and replace and blah, blah, blah. So we know why he stuck it up your ass, in my opinion, Mr. Trump.

We know why. But how about, this is how filthy the fucking internet is. And McCain's widow posted a private message she received from a person who said she was glad her husband was dead. Cindy McCain said she decided to publicize the message to make sure all of you could see how kind and loving a stranger can be. I had sarcasm. I just puked in my mouth a little bit. She said, I'm posting the note for family and friends to see. The hateful message called John McCain, who died last August from brain cancer,

a traitorous piece of warmongering shit, and I'm glad he's dead. I mean, that's a little over the top. No, they're ignorant. That's ignorant. So she put that out there. And that's... Don't let that bother you.

It's the fucking Internet. What is the emotional level of the average person on the Internet? Sixth, seventh grade, maybe? I'm being generous there. So, but that's also free speech, which your husband died, well, went to prison for and fought for. So, they can say all that trash is ignorant as is. There's only free speech. No such thing as hate speech and blah, There's only free speech. No such thing as hate speech and blah, blah, blah.

Let it fucking fly. And I happen to disagree with the president and this ignorant fuckstain. But I wasn't a huge fan either of his politics. Okay. Imagine he was a traitorous piece of shit. You know who it says? She says, I posted it to make sure all of you can see how kind and loving Strange can be. I'm posting her note for her family and friends. So it was a woman that said it.

You filthy, filthy slit. Your husband was a traitorous piece of woman. Great shit. I'm glad he's dead hope your Mrs. Piggy looking daughter chokes to death on the next burger she stuffs down her fat neck too, cunt

oh it's from Tiffany Nicole a broad with two names that's every niece in the country every person has a Tiffany and a fucking Nicole that sounds like one of my cameo things. Go to cameo.com if you want me to shit on one of your friends or for 60 bucks, I'll deliver messages more hateful than that to people that you don't like or you like and you just want to

bust their balls. But anyway, Nick, are you really taking the time to exploit this John McCain? Yeah, actually I am. I'm an unapologetic capitalist. What do you think of that? this John McCain? Yeah, actually I am. I'm an unapologetic capitalist. What do you think of that? 833-599-6425 is the phone number. So that is that. What do we got here? Oh, by the way, that woman saying that, can you imagine a broad saying that? Oh, I'm sure. I feel like Nicholson in A Few Good Men when he starts going after Tom Cruise. Did you ever serve in a Ford operating base, son? Did you ever put your life in the hands of another man and his and yours, you fucking pencil neck geek? I'm paraphrasing. Anyhow, but yeah, you know, it's just weird that a guy in

the military that was a prisoner of war could be, I don't know, that kind of moderate. Moderate's not there, but to side with a the scum on the left which he did many times i didn't really get it but maybe that's a sign of him being fair anyhow let's go to a riley in uh missouri riley what's going on fella riley we were having problems with the phones earlier. Riley. Hello, Riley. Anything?

Nothing. You tell the pencil neck to keep working. I'll move on. Here's some good news for you. I enjoyed thoroughly. DeBlasio and his fucking wife, Nick, why the anger? Speaks to crowd of only 20 people in New Hampshire. Christ, I played to more than that

when I was an open mic-er in Nashua. 20 people? Only 20 people showed up Sunday to hear the leader of America's largest city hold a roundtable on mental health. Probably because they think he's mentally ill. I know he is. Because I live in New York, I see his policies. Including his jobs program that shit the bed.

Anyways, 20 people showed up, including 14 people on the panel, and just six in the goddamn audience. This is New Hampshire. New England. Supposed to like your shit. He was supposedly doing this to test the waters for a run, so maybe he'll go back into his hole like the fucking groundhog.

That's ridiculous. There are also about six reporters on hand to make the room at Sugar Valley Regional Technical Center look a bit less empty. You should try doing what the improvs do. Paper the room, Bill. Although it's probably free to get in, they don't give a fuck what you have to say. Why would they? They live in New Hampshire. You're the mayor of New York City where crime is everywhere now and where this construction and potholes and your jobs program shit the bed, over budget, losing money, just like Obama's did in 2009. Obama tried to implement a jobs program and spent millions and millions of dollars and after a year it had lost 1.7 million fewer jobs we had one point after and

then cuomo the jerk-off governor of this state spent 50 million on ads alone promoting his jobs program and you know how many they made a couple hundred in upstate new york anytime you hear program it means government it means more government it's just a fucking ruse should i try the phones let's give it a shot let's give it a shot shall we andrew uh west virginia are you there sir yeah how you doing man very good what's up i feel bad for megan mccain i mean i i'm a big trump supporter i feel bad for her but i i did read a quote of hers where she said that uh on the view with all those dumb broads uh she said something along the lines of my father in life and in death was trump's kryptonite and i just

have to say that's a stupid stupid statement statement, because it's like, if he was really your kryptonite, there's two reasons why it's stupid. First of all, it didn't work, because he got the nomination as the Republican candidate, and he won, despite your father. And two, if you're saying your dad was his kryptonite, well, then you're saying Trump is your kryptonite. He's Superman. Yeah.

Yes. But I mean, and the other point, and again, I like Meghan McCain. I don't, obviously, I understand her defending her dead dad. And, but she turned his funeral into a Trump bashing fest. Remember, right after he died, she went after the president. I was never a big fan of John. I was never really a big fan of John McCain. I was I mean, I was found it kind of selfish. And I don't know. I just thought he was a prick for staying on when he knew he had brain cancer.

And it was like, dude, just step down. So I didn't really. And I've never really cared for his politics. Well, I didn't really watch his funeral. It was like when Ted Kennedy announced he had a brain tumor and everybody was surprised. And I said, you couldn't tell he had brain cancer by his policies for the last 30 years? Yeah. I'm the same way with Ruth Gator Ginsburg. Like if they come out and said like,

yeah, she's been dead for three months. I'd be like, well, yeah, we haven't known where the fuck she was. Last time Ruth Bader Ginsberg was seen was at the NFL Combine. She was running, I think she was running the 40-yard dash for the Steelers. Hey, great call. Good talking

to you, pal. Did I just kick the wrong guy off? Son of a bitch. Call back Kurt on line one. My fault. I'm just surprised we have phones. Anyhow. Joe in Staten Island, not a big fan of John McCain.

Joey boy, what's going on? What are you doing? You delivering a pizza? Are you working a construction site? What's up, Nick? What up, brother? I'm actually sanitation. Very typical ofen island i love it joey i love it staten island joey sanitary you were probably emptying trash barrels when frank kelly got hit the other day fuck i got a few text messages about that. Yeah, I'm sure you do. Anyway.

Go ahead. Nick, how the fuck could you say a kind word about John McCain? You broke my heart. Okay, you asked a question. Let me answer it. Okay, Joe? This is how I can say a kind word about John McCain. He fought in Vietnam, okay? He fucking put his life on the line. Hold on. Let me finish. For you and I, so that we can shoot our mouths off and have the right to say I hate John McCain without getting imprisoned like some countries. He's a fucking war hero.

He's like Michael Corleone. I hated his politics, Joe. I'm with you. But you've got to be able to look at it and put it in a little bit of perspective, don't you? I understand. You know, I got to respect you veterans, of course. But I mean, there's a limit to how much treason I can handle. Well, like I said, I hate his politics, too.

I didn't. It wasn't wrong and everything, but the big things. And I really think, Joe, that he gave the thumbs down as far as the final vote on repealing Obama, just to stick up Trump's ass after Trump said that. He absolutely did. It's for the whole country, and we're supposed to mourn him for three weeks with a funeral? Come on. Well, again, he was a war hero.

I put his war hero status above his politics any day. So good hearing from you, Joey. Take care of yourselves. Keep your head on a swivel out there. I don't know. Everybody knows. They ought to do a Gillivel out there. I don't know. Everybody knows. They ought to do a Gilligan's Island remake, Staten Island. Just, you know, the skipper's a capo and fucking Gilligan is like Spider from Goodfellas.

When I had a radio show on KROQ, Terrestrial Radio, I could have ran for mayor of Staten Island. I was on the air about three months. Every other call was from Staten Island. I could have run for mayor of Staten Island. I was on the air about three months. Every other call was from Staten Island. I could have run for mayor. I swear to God. But obviously I didn't have the connections. You know what I'm saying? It's an interesting little place.

Staten Island. Let's take one more on McCain before I move on. Thomas in South Carolina. Thomas, what's going on? Hey, Nick. How are you, my friend? Pretty good. How you doing? I'm good, man. All I ask is if the Twinks could just go. I just did it, so it would be really quick. All they have to do is click John McCain with ISIS, and he's wearing a Syrian flag pennant, the lapel, on his jacket. You tell me who's a traitor and who's not a traitor, my friend. It's not photoshopped. It's real.

That guy was a real traitor. Before I go, I really want a cameo. You still do those, don't you? Yes. Go to cameo.com and make the request. I'll fulfill it. Oh, my God, yeah. You'll fulfill my whole month of March for doing that for me.

All right. But seriously, seriously, get the twinks to just Google it. It'll read to a lot of people because it's very real. Okay, Thomas. But you realize there was 19 factions fighting in Syria, right? Just because you have a Syrian flag on you. Well, why is he wearing the pennant? Huh?

Because they... Why is he wearing the pennant? Well, what pennant? You don't know what it represents. Like I said, there was 19 factions. I mean, it didn't say fucking ISIS on it. You really believed he was supporting what ISIS supported? All I

know is that he's wearing a Syrian flag and I've never seen anyone who is a senator wear anything but the American flag lapel. You don't have all these people calling in you don't have all these people calling in for that are pissed off. And I'm telling you this will change your mind.

If you want to know the truth? I would. Okay, but you don't know the truth. I can't believe you're looking at something that's online. You say it's Photoshopped. Maybe it is not. But you don't know that. And number two,

you want me to believe that he was siding with the people that were fighting with ISIS. I think you just, it's a knee-jerk reaction on your part. There's no way that could be fucking true. There's 19 factions in Syria that we were fighting with, some that are against, you know, the government and Assad,

and Russia was in there. So, I mean, how do you know what that represented, really? I don't know what it represented. Well, then don't come to a conclusion until you do know. That's all I'm saying. Well, I know. I understand you. But what I'm saying. Well, I know. I understand you.

But what I'm saying is, I understand. But what I'm saying is, is that why I've never seen even, you could take the mayor of any city, and they would never wear a Syrian lapel. That's because they're a mayor of a city and never went to a fucking forward operating war zone. That's why you don't see that. All right, Thomas. I'll take your point. I appreciate it. You can't look at something online and go, oh, it's a Syrian pin.

He must be siding with ISIS. You've got to dig a little deeper than that. You know how complicated the fighting in Syria, you got, you got pro-government, you know, Assad troops, and you, it's a real clusterfuck over there.

Although those guys don't exactly look like the extras on fucking F Troop, do they? But that could be, that could be an Astoria. He's coming out of a deli, for Christ's sake. When I lived in Astoria, they looked like every one of my neighbors.

And I can't see what that flag is. Can you? Can you blow that up, Jay? Really? You can tell what that is? Whatever. Yeah, that was the best one I could find. Yeah.

All the other ones were really blurry. So what are these guys looking at it with a microscope? You can tell what that is? I mean, come on. That could be a guy. That could be from Arby's. He bought 10 burgers in a week, and they gave him an Arby's pin. I don't know.

Let me get on to de Blasio. Kurt, hang on. Sorry for knocking you off the line there, fella. This made my dick hard reading this because Obama might be my least favorite. I mean, excuse me, de Blasio might be my least favorite person on the planet. Louis C.K. used to hang out with him.

Louis goes, he's a really, I go, go fuck yourself, Lou. I'm a Giuliani man. Anyways, the day began with de Blasio and his fugly wife, McCray, touting her under-scrutiny $1 billion mental health initiative, which is going into the shitter, by the way, to a roundtable of local officials in the town of Claremont. Even as Big Apple lawmakers demand answers

about its spending and effectiveness back home. I looked it up. Her mental fucking health program, it's going in the shitter. How do we know that? City Council hold hearings next week on the efficacy of McCrae's, that's the wife, Thrive New York City.

As new figures from the NYPD show, the initiative received 23% more reports of people in mental distress in 2018 than in 2015 when it launched. Hmm. He prop, you know, he uses his family as props when he was running for mayor. He uses his family as props. When he was running for mayor, he's got a biracial kid, and he's got an afro like it's 1971, and he's a defensive back for the fucking Eagles. And he was in every commercial.

I swear to God, de Blasio got elected on his son's hair. I swear to God. And if he went with cornrows, he would have probably won in a landslide. I guess he did win in a landslide. But now he's got the black wife. What are you saying? I don't know. She's not very sexy.

Nick, that's got nothing to do. Yeah, it does. Anyways. Listen, this is Bill. Of course, because there's only 20 people in the room and only six audience members, naturally he throws the wife under the bus. Yeah, you get out there, Charlene, and you talk about your programs. But he says, she's my partner in everything I do. And that

is a phrase we say every opening and have said for years, de Blasio said. They feel her humanity and they feel her compassion. You know what? They don't feel her brains or her fucking knowledge. Look at the guy. Look, look at the kid my my grandfather used to put on his shaving cream of the brush just like that and look at her look at cheryl ann looks like she wants to blow bill bill clinton not the husband look at him big doofus fucking big bird over there with his hand up. Do you swear to lie to everybody, you motherless fuck? I do. What Charlene says and does is very powerful, he says, which is absolutely bullshit. Absolutely bullshit.

It is not. I just told you, her program is not even working. Elizabeth Warren, just to give you an idea how bad de Blasio did as far as drawing an audience in Claremont, New Hampshire. Elizabeth Warren, who was in fourth place among Democrats in New Hampshire,

primary polls, got 300 people to show up to a recent event. Of course, that event was her scalping a young white privileged boy to prove that she was Cherokee. The city council will hold hearings next week on the efficacy of this douchebag thing, and it's not working.

Anyways, His Honor and McRae headed to a modest yellow house at the end of the trip that her family, his wife, called home for a century after immigrating from Barbados. Well, I'm going to question you. Hey, how you doing there? Listen, Secretary, take a note. That's America is apple pie. You know what I'm saying to you fellas? All right. Listen, um, where was I? Uh, they went to a modest yellow hood that she, her family came to New Hampshire from Barbados. So I questioned the intelligence of the whole family. You know, it's kind of balmy and about 78 degrees here, average year round, but I'd like to go,

I'd like to go to a place that smells like cow farts and kicks up into the thirties in fucking late July. I love New Hampshire. I'm just kidding. Relax. She says we came up here many summers. We'd had family gatherings. We'd come up and visit them.

She says, my grandmother would make yellow cake. So apparently the grandmother was a scientist, sent her uranium. Uranium, by the way, is the name of her second niece. Grammy used to make yellow cake, and then we used to enrich it in the basement and try to blow up the white people in Manchester. Quack, quack, quack, quack. Let's go to our buddy Kurt in Fort Worth. Thanks for hanging on, Kurt.

Didn't mean to knock you off the line there. It's all right. I've been knocked off lines before, Nick. I tell you what, when I saw that picture of de Blasio and his son with the giant afro, I said, holy cannoli, I did not know Jimi Hendrix was even alive. Exactly, my friend.

That's the name of his new album, Uranium One, How I Made Yellow Cake in Barbados with Grandma. Have you had the yellow cake? These guys are a disaster. de Blasio and Cuomo and just the whole gang, man. They can't make jobs, man. They don't even know what a job is. I don't think any of them have ever had one.

You're right, Kerry. That's a great point. Do you understand? When I hear jobs programs, I laugh. You know, you don't create jobs out of thin air. Something has to, like a house needs to be painted. A car needs to be built. You don't just fucking poll. And I swear to God, if you polled 90% of the people that vote Democrat,

they think that the government you know curates fucking jobs you know work needs to be like fracking you know yeah yeah the only way they could create maybe two jobs is a pocahontas shot big bird in the knee and it'd take two people to lift them up in bed two emts got a job today well there you go i mean that's how it works but jobs program come into our program. We'll create jobs. It's so fucking asinine. Meanwhile, they're against fracking and all this shit. We're going to be the biggest oil exporter in the world, like, if we aren't already, because of what Trump's done.

And it's going to create zillions of jobs. And these people are, no, we're against that. Check the news releases, Nick. I mean, on that economic development thing that Cuomo had going on there. $50 million, and I think 50 companies left. 50 companies left, and they created a couple hundred jobs upstate, it said. Spent $50 million on just the ads. And Obama, when he tried in 2009, he tried his jobs program.

A year later, we had 1.7 million less jobs. And they created, I don't know how many, but it came out to like a couple hundred thousand a job to create the job. Well, maybe there's another Cuomo brother we don't know about that has an advertising company. Oh, Jesus, I hope not. We've had enough of them. Kurt, thanks, buddy. Great call. No more Cuomos, please.

Now we got the fucking Cuomo bridge used to be the Tappan Zee bridge which was Dutch for fucking icy cold nipples it's always going to be

the Tappan Zee to us it is right three generations from now it won't be people people are actually

like bringing a lawsuit against it they didn't even ask they just slapped it on the so I christened the first time I went over the bridge I pulled over and did a little pee pee People are actually bringing a lawsuit against it. They didn't even ask. They just slapped it on. So I christened. The first time I went over the bridge,

I pulled over and did a little pee-pee off the side. And that's how I christened it. And people waved at me. And it was terrific. I'm trying to scroll, motherfucker. Here we go. Here we go. I'm a scroll motherfucker. Here we go.

This sort of explains the mannequins. Santa Rosa Man displays naked mannequins after neighbor complains about high fence. Don't mess with Jason Windus of Santa Rosa. When a neighbor complained about his high fence causing a lack of visibility and after the city wrote a letter telling him it violated a local ordinance. Jason cut the motherfucking fence down by 36 inches, which is good. He was just trying to keep his dogs in the yard is what they said. Just being a good neighbor. Now his nosy neighbor really has something to look at. It's a garden party where the guests aren't smiling, but the host is. I'm a big fan of mannequins, as you can see. I sleep with this one here, the female. If my wife is good, I let her have the guy in the back. And we're in separate bedrooms. And I planted that flag this morning.

Look at the look on her face. I was like Columbus. Those aren't bad tits. I pretend she's my secretary. Hey, take a memo. Sorry. Sorry Thanks for letting me borrow the guy last week Bruh Thanks for letting you borrow the guy last week

Okay great I had to fucking use the The power scrub thing on the ass For like ten minutes I'm so sorry Yeah Anyways I told you we were looking at houses

down in the Georgia area and the neighborhood had every other house had like mannequins in it it was very fucking creepy I don't know what's going on down there I swear to God Buffalo Bill is getting broads anyways you know what's funny about this

I did a Comedy Central was it my first half hour special I believe it was you guys may be able to find a thumbnail of this Nick DiPaolo Comedy Central half hour my backdrop was mannequins see if they're naked I can't remember

they let you pick the backdrop I had the most original one it was mannequins in a library anyways why am I talking about this because I like mannequins in a library. Anyways, why am I talking about this? Because I like mannequins and I like naked shit. He says, this guy sounds like a bit of a psycho as I read it. I couldn't bring myself to throw them away. I'm a very lonely, horny man on food stamps. What am I going to do? No. I was going to use them for target practice. Oh, Jesus. Target practice. Somebody might want to check in on this guy.

What's the matter with cans there, Jason? He's going to use them as target practice. Now they're in his front yard. He says they serve a higher calling. The rest of the neighborhood loves Jason's garden party. Dumb law, said a passing stranger. Another broad went by and said, makes the place more interesting.

The city of Santa Rosa sent him a notice of a zoning violation for a fence that's too high and blocks a suburban corner, which I understand too. If the fence is too high and it's making like a hazard as far as the corner driving, I understand that a little bit. But as far as being a neighbor, get your fucking face out of my fence.

I've got a picture for you. Go ahead. There you go. There you go. Jesus Christ, look at that. Unlike Wayne Newton, I was still a man back in my 20s. I look like a fucking union rep meeting with Henry Hill. But look at the mannequins in the back.

I thought that was fucking great. The Bill Clinton Library. So anyhow, it is very serious. This is Jason talking, the guy that had the fence. They made me freak out, said Jason, as he showed us the official paperwork they were going to fine me every day it wasn't taken down again more government heavy-handed horseshit

here's what you do government give the guy a warning and give him a couple weeks and then if it's not down then you know go by at night and buzz it yourself but don't don't bring the fucking lawyers into it and the fines and That'd be my idea of government. I guess the average person will get angry and cop resentment. I throw a naked party in my yard, Jason said, which led to a sign for a still anonymous neighbor in what appears to be perfectly legal compliance. The sign says they wanted me to tear down my fence to see inside my yard,

and now they get to. This guy's a real prick prick a spokesman for the city of santa rosa notes that this was a zoning code violation what was the zoning code the the mannequins or the fence i'm lost jason they still talking about the fence yes the fence well i i believe you naked mannequin i don't know that boy is a pig uh no he ain't is. Fat boy is a P-I-G pig. No, he ain't. Is he, Diane? Is he?

I'm talking to you. Hashtag me too. Walk, walk, walk, walk. Do you know when you're beheaded, you have this thing right here, the shock absorber? Where did it go? The shot comes over. Where did it go? Hey! Where's their head?

I think it's behind the man. Good girl. Now you make me a BLT. All better. This is a Harvey Weinstein audition. Well, how much do you want to act, Diane? Nick, that's gross. Yes, it is. That boy is a P-I-G-P. Ah, suck it.

Speaking of sexism, by the way, 833-599-6425, speaking of sexism, an Australian broadcaster is apologizing for sending the wrong message, in quotes, after deleting a photograph of a female football player that prompted a deluge of sexist and misogynist comments online. Let me get this straight. He's apologizing. He deleted the picture because of the response to the picture. Bunch of immature piggy. Exactly what you expect on the Internet. So I thought it sounds like he's doing the right thing by the woman.

Yet he's still apologizing. This is the world in which we live in. And the woman, the girl, young girl, Taylor Harris, puts a picture up. It says, here's a pic of me at work. a forward for the Australian rules football, Carlton Blues. Think about this, she says, before your derogatory comments, animals. So I think she's, even she knew what was coming from that remark, right? My vagina's angry. It is. It's pissed off. Harris, 21, posted the message on her private Twitter account, along with a photo of herself kicking a goal in Sunday's match against the Western Bulldog. Damn it, I had that minus six.

After Australian television network removed the image due to abusive and reprehensible comments. We're sorry, the station tweeted hours after Harris' post. Removing the photo sent the wrong message. Many of the comments made on the post were reprehensible and will work harder to ban trolls from our pages. Our intention was to highlight, and I believe this, at Taylor Harris, incredible athleticism and we'll continue to celebrate women's footy. incredible athleticism and will continue to celebrate women's footy.

Anytime a sport's called footy, you know. This picture, well, look. Did you, I guess there's a few angles here. Out of all the pictures that day, Taylor, is this the one, you know, you had to, I don't know if you chose it or the paper, I know why the paper would choose it. It's going to sell papers. I'm 57 and I had about 19 comments about that. One of them involving A1 steak sauce and a can of Silly Strip.

Now let... I'm just saying all the pictures that day, this is the one. I can understand the paper leads with it. Because if it bleeds, it leads. Oh, for Christ's sake, Nick, did you... That was actually brilliant on some sick level. But my point is, are you guys really shocked that a bunch of... Again, the average emotional level of somebody on Twitter is about 11 years old. Of course, you knew that was coming.

You had to know do you really think do you really think you're going to legislate the dna out of i guarantee a lot of those guys that made those reprehensible comments were grown men in their 40s and 50s and 60s and late 100s the pig dna is in us that's going to happen every time you put a picture up like that. You know? Now, I was wondering if I could get this picture, get it waterproofed. Ladies footy. In an earlier tweet, the station said it removed the photo

after it attracted attention from trolls who left inappropriate, offensive comments. That prompted an immediate backlash online where virtue signaling is the zeitgeist of the day, where social media users noted that the photo was not the problem, among other gripes. Well, no, it's not a problem. The photo's not the problem, but it's what you're going to get when you put it up on social media. So it really is the problem. I love the goddamn photo. These images should be promoted.

These are people doing their virtue signaling. These images should be promoted to the young girls coming through to inspire and motivate them. Block the trolls. Don't let their immaturity or hatred be a detriment to the real footballs out there. I know. Real football. What is that fucking translator, please?

You did nothing but give in to the idiots and then hide an athlete that has done nothing but pursue and hone her talents. Put that image back up so I can get my gel. What? No, put that image back up and moderate the comments. Blah, blah, blah. Then she spoke out, Taylor herself. This is what I would consider sexual abuse on social media, Harris said. I saw the comments, and I can see in people's profile pictures

that they have kids or they have got daughters or there are women in the photos and that is the stuff that i'm worried about so she's saying the people that posted some of this shit actually they have family in there that's where we are and she's right about that that's where it gets a little fucked up but i mean can you imagine sitting there you you're like a fucking grown man with you you know two sons and daughter going holy shit let's let's make some fun let's make fun of what do you got Billy what do you got gap shot uh but the point being okay you can do this a million years from now and guys are going to have that well the robots are going to have the same response so uh you can't legislate the pig out of men from ages uh you know four to

104 it's just the way it is and we know that social media is a cesspool so let's not get shocked i don't know why the papers are they sound like they were trying to do the right thing she should be saying to the paper out of all the... I don't know. Again, did she send this to the paper, say put this out, or did they decide? She put it on her personal account. They probably chose it themselves. The paper did.

But why... Then she wouldn't put it up on her personal. She doesn't have a problem with it. So maybe she doesn't understand what sick bastards men really are. It's a good picture. It's a great pic. Yeah, I'm sure every guy's looking at it going, wow, look at the flexibility.

Nice follow through. Are you kidding me? Look, there's about 17 million teenagers doing the penguin walk with a a towel stuck to their belly. Back to the bathroom. Oh, please come to Denver. She said no. Boy, why don't you come home to me? I actually hurt my shoulder. Here you go.

I almost called him Barry Sanders I think I got a new nickname for Bernie Barry, there's a lot of Jewish guys named Barry my name is Bernie this is one of the women who apparently was sexually harassed during my campaign we found her laying face down

in the women's room with a flag planted on her mountain. I had nothing to do with it. Sanders has hired David Sirota to write speeches and act as a communications consultant as the Democratic Socialist Senator continues his quest and his wet dream to ruin this country, to win the Democratic nomination for 2020. What about Sirota? Sirota exhibited his devotion to Venezuela's brand of socialism

during the years of left-wing strongman Hugo Chavez. The journalist was a contributor to Salon magazine, which makes the Huffington Post look like the fucking New York Post. It's so fucking left-wing. He was a contributor to Salon in 2013

when he wrote an essay remembering Chavez, who had recently died, praising the despot's political legacy as an economic miracle. So this guy's fucking retarded. Chavez racked up an economic record that a leg this is this is quotes from him by the way from Salon okay he's he's he's jerking off Hugo Chavez is every guy that writes for Salon and Huffington gay I think so just watch him being interviewed the guy that heads up media matters looks like you know he's got whatever. Nick, that doesn't matter.

Yeah, it does. It shapes their worldview. Don't tell me it doesn't. Just the way those kids saying horrible things about that girl's crotch. Excuse me. Chavez racked up an economic record that a legacy-obsessed American president could only dream of achieving, Sirota wrote. But so he also argued that the Venezuelan socialism

suddenly looks like a threat to the corporate capitalism, especially when said country has valuable oil resources that global powerhouses like the United States rely on. Oh, this guy was just having a wet dream in words. David Sirota. David Sirota. David Sirota. Bernie, that'll be Bernie Sanders. Today, Venezuela appears more than ever

a threat to its own citizens as food shortages and a countrywide blackout. You've seen the thing on the news. You can't tell if you're looking at Venezuela or fucking downtown detroit uh there's mass looting going on the streets according to a 2019 united nations human rights officer but at least 40 venezuelans have died while protesting in recent years uh but for serota the problem was the United States that had become more unequal than many Latin American nations. And he asked, are there any constructive lessons

to be learned from Chavez's grand experiment with the more aggressive redistribution? Yes, not to fucking do it. That's what he learned. When were they ever, even with all the oil, they were a rich country with all the oil and they probably were thriving, but they still didn't have an economy like the United States,

and you're jerking them off because you hate the United States. How do I know? Because you wrote for Salon. End of fucking story. That easy. Sirota's defense of Venezuela could well be embraced by Sanders, who criticized, this is Bernie, criticized America's free market policies and well-stocked supermarkets in the 1980s and argued that queuing up for bread in the soviet union was a symptom of economic freedom you smug cocksucker fuck you getting in the bread lines were sign of economic freedom. Hey, uh, yeah, you know, little Danny's down 11 pounds and 6 ounces.

Where's dad? Well, he's, you know, he's exercising his freedom. He's 450 millionth in line for a loaf of stale bread. That guy is free as a fucking Chinese kite. Oh, my God, you twisted Bernie. I love you. You just fucking. It's funny sometimes. on his kite. Oh my God, you twisted Bernie. I love you. It's funny sometimes, this is Bernie talking,

a quote again. It's funny sometimes American journalists talk about how bad a country is that people are lining up for food. That is a good thing, Bernie said. In other countries people don't line up for food. The rich get the food and the poor starve to death.

Is that right? Are you speaking about the United States too? Because we have the fattest poor people on the fucking history of the planet. You can't get into

a goddamn Wendy's at fucking noontime on a Saturday. It's like a cattle fest and everybody, you know, there's not a bunch of nice SUVs

in the parking lot either, but I'm just saying, Bernie. The bottom line is, this is why I love it, because you have Bernie, and you got Ocasio-Cortez, and what's his name, fucking Beto O'Rourke, you know, they're just praising socialism, but they're doing it as Venezuela in the backdrop just is shitting the bed. It's a good, you don't have to wait in line for bread in Venezuela. You can go to, you can have lunch like this. Can we see that again? That actually made me hungry. Can we see that again?

That actually made me hungry. Billy, finish that zebra. You don't get any fucking raccoon nuts. How can that be sanitary? By the way, that's that guy. What was his name? He had that nature show. Fucking bear.

Yeah, I want to say Bear Grylls. Yeah, Bear Grylls. Speaking of Bear Grylls, that's what they have in Venezuela is no food. All the grills. Yeah, bear grills. Speaking of bear grills, that's what they have in Venezuela is no food. All the grills are bear. Good night, everybody. I'll be here at the Chuckle Hut on Tuesday.

Anyhow. So that's who Bernie hired. And Bernie hired Hillary's former, you know what info guy to dig up today he hired a guy that uh you know opposition research that type of shit so he's all in even though it was rigged against him and he should have beaten Hillary that would have been even more fun I think fucking. Fucking Bernie versus Hillary. I mean, Bernie versus Trump.

That would have been fucking... If Trump followed Bernie around during those debates like he did Hillary, Bernie would have fucking... Even with his 90-year-old Jew hips would have thrown a roundhouse kick to Trump's head. Oh my god. He's a real curmudgeon. That's what I like about him. He's a miserab.

He hired Tyson Brody, who was our research chief from Hillary's campaign. There you go. Tyson Brody. Exactly. Tyson Brody. Sounds like a UFC guy. So why would you hire him? Well, I guess because she beat you, but she didn't.

It was rigged. By the way, Donna Brazeal. Remember Donna Brazeal? Who's a nice lady from Louisiana. She's a nice black lady, beautiful gray head of hair, beautiful gray. She's now a regular on Fox News. She's the one at CNN who had the questions before the debate when Hillary and Bernie, she had the question, and she's not a very bright, you can hear she's a little bit illiterate, but she's very nice and sweet. And just the Clintons wrote a book that kind of kind of threw her under the bus.

So she said, fuck this. I'm going over to Fox News, motherfucker. But then Hannity had her on last. It was embarrassing. He's trying to do like a lightning round. She couldn't even grab the concept of that. But. except of that. Let's go to Steve in Boston.

I guess we're going back to compare McCain and Bergdahl. Stevie boy. Hey, what's going on, Nick? What's up? What's up, brother? Well, just to start off, I'm a huge fan. You know, you don't need to agree on everything. No, I know.

Get to the point, though. I got, like, a bunch of calls lined up. Oh, fair enough. I don't mean to waste your time. I don't mean to rush it. My question is, no worries. My question is, I guess, John McCain, you're kind of making it like he's a sacred cow because he's a veteran. Does Bo Bergdahl get that same respect from you, I'm wondering?

Are you really comparing McCain to Bo Bergdahl? Well, they're both veterans. That's all they have. Oh, okay. They're both veterans. Well, Hitler was a veteran, if you want to do that. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

It seems like, to me, that pays veteran status to you. Okay. Okay. Bergdahl fucking, Bergdahl walked off the base and went over to the enemy. How the fuck are you comparing that to being captured by, I don't get the analogy, Steve. I'm not comparing it to being, actually, I didn't compare that to being captured by i i don't get the analogy steve i'm not comparing it to being actually i didn't compare it to being captured but i will say yeah that john mccain's uh military records got sealed the minute that he ran for senate in arizona so nobody really knows

what happened with mccain because all of his stuff is confidential although i don't know about that i do oh so the pictures about the pictures and stuff and the stuff about being in a prison camp i'm not saying that he didn't go no no i'm not discrediting the fact that he was a prisoner of war right and i'm not even saying that what he did while he was in vietnam yeah wasn't you know a a great thing right to be you know admired right but that to me and my personal opinion doesn't make him a sacred cow i i didn't make him because he did those things who's saying he's a sacred cow i'm just saying i'm just saying you're saying that you're saying that trump can't shoot

back when he's got no i you're not you every other day talking shit you got selective listening i didn't say i said he could couch it a little bit by saying, you know, I respect him. Like you just said, I respect his military record, but I think he sucks as a politician and blah, blah, blah. And I even said, I appreciate Trump's brashness. He's so, you know, he said, when they said, you know, why you pick on somebody that's, he didn't even blink, but I'm not, I'm just saying he could couch it, but he's not a sacred cow, McCain. I hated the way he fucking voted.

And how about the fact he handed over the Steele dossier? I mean, so I'm, but I never call him a sacred cow. That's kind of where it all ends up. Right. Exactly. Fair enough. Maybe I'm overstating your point on it, but my whole thing is it seems like a lot of Republicans and people who lean to the right or anybody who's really a voter who leans to the right, there's a percentage of them out there who seem like that's their go-to. Oh, he's a veteran. Don't say anything. It's like, well, if you really look into John McCain, the fact that he's a veteran doesn't clear him, in my opinion, for everything else.

No, I know, but I know. His daughter is incessant on talking shit about Trump at every chance. No, I agree with that. I said that. I also said that. I said when when when he died, she used that as a as a, you know know a stepping stone to attack trump that whole week she was going after the press which is disgusting to me well yeah but trump also said you know uh you know he said he's not a hero because he was captured which i thought was stupid so that's

where that was coming from yeah but who shot first who shot first what i don't even know what you're talking about i don't know what you're talking about who shot in the in the mccain trump the whole mccain trump thing yeah who shot first you don't know first shot it wasn't trump it wasn't trump publicly mccain ran him over the coals then trump went after mccain trump didn't say anything okay and he endorsed them okay okay fair enough ste. Okay, fair enough, Steve. But for you to compare McCain to Bergdahl was fucking absolutely ridiculous. You have to admit that. My original person I was going to compare him to was Hitler, because Hitler was a veteran, but I figured he's not American. So there is an easy way to divert.

But it kind of seems like, you know, again... That is so silly, though. Bergdahl walked off the fucking base and joined the enemy. I mean, you have nothing on McCain like that. And Obama welcomed him with open arms and the road guards and gave five top terrorists back to Afghanistan.

And we're worried about Trump talking shit about McCain. I agree. I'm with you. Stevie, I'm with you on all that, man. I'm just saying, don't go fucking haywire. All right, buddy. I love my Boston guys. I love you, and I'll see you in Massachusetts in June. All right, buddy. Whites of Westport. Well.

People are so funny, though. People are getting pissed, even like Republicans or whatever, a real pro-Trump people are getting fucking furious at people who are getting mad at Trump. man politically. I hated his politics. You can even call him a traitor politically. I called who was the chief of staff, the black Colin Powell. I was on Fox and Friends before they realized how fucking nutty I was. And I called him a traitor.

I meant politically, but I didn't qualify that enough or whatever. You know, people like, what the fuck are you doing? I meant politically. He was in the, you know. And I don't. Because he was in the military.

Sacred cow. What are you talking about? Some of the worst. Can I play some super chats? Super chats. Yes. Got two. One from TRU reporting.

He didn't send a message. He just gave us a super chat. Yeah. I got one from Brent S. that says, Hey, Nick, one of the best nights of my life was back in 16 watching you, Kumia, and Rick J. Shapiro. You three together is now a good luck charm. Can we get a commitment for a reunion in 2020? I'll be doing my own show that night. And, or maybe, you know, maybe we can Skype into each other's shows or whatever, but don't you want to hear me on election night with my own thing?

But yes, that was, I wouldn't leave. I was superstitious. It's like a sporting event. Trump was up. Nobody could believe it. And I got there early. They told me to get there. I thought they said four o'clock.

Turns out it was 6.30. I get there at like quarter four. I'm there two and a half hours early i'm in that chair it's fucking it's 12 30 a.m and they're still doing the counts and stuff and i wouldn't get up because i was afraid something was and they were threatening me they go you leave that fucking chair you did it was a great night though you're right anything else that's all all right woman uses uh an oklahoma woman was arrested after authorities say she used a t-shirt gun to launch drugs cell phones and other contraband over a prison fence i love our country do you realize that our t-shirt uh cannons are stronger than a lot of the shit that the pakistanis have they only have guns that can shoot

slippers and mittens and gloves we have t-shirt cannon the agency says authorities arrested kerry joe hickman if that's not a white trash name i've never heard one after discovering the t-shirt gun in another package in her vehicle. Carrie Jo Hickman. Carrie Jo Hickman. My own mother. Fuck you, you fucking whore. That was some rednecks on mom on TV.

Tulsa television station, KOTV, reports that the container that was launched Sunday contained cell phones, earbuds, phone charges, methamphetamine, digital scales, marijuana, tobacco. That sounds like a care package. She ought to start a company. I mean, take out the meth and some of the illegal shit, but marijuana, you could shoot that into... Airbuds, phone... That's half the shit I take on flights. Including the meth.

Sometimes I need to pick me up when I get to Buffalo. Hickman remained jailed Friday in Beckham County on complaints of introducing contraband into a penal institution. Very painful. Thank you. Conspiracy and drug trafficking. I think, oh, look at her. She's a doll face. how you doing there terry hickman holy christ you got meth mouth look at the fucking eyes in her she's been through more trailer parks and fucking bill clinton look him some snatch at 3 a.m how you doing terry good to see you i guess when she shot the t-shirt cannon there was somebody standing in the way they get hit I think we have the fucking footage no that's not no are you missing something

which one was it the t-shirt cannon kid getting hit in the face? You got it? No. What happened? You sent us the zebra video for both. Yeah. Apparently she killed the zebra. Oh, goddammit. It was a long day. We had people here.

I was wondering what that was all about. Yeah, you thought it was a callback. Look, he's using the zebra. Yeah, I thought we were going to connect it somehow. Okay, well, that was the about yeah you thought it was a callback look he's using the zebra yeah i thought we were going to connect it somehow okay well that was the venezuelan prison guy was chomping on it anyways my bad well my bad apparently that's all right hey don't forget cameo.com i talked about this earlier cameo.com uh if you want me to send a video to a friend of yours an enemy of, a neighbor looking over your fence at your mannequins, a fat old girlfriend, a ugly new boyfriend, somebody you hate, somebody you love,

an old teacher. I will send a 15-second video. You'll get it in text form or whatever, and you just send it to them. It's cameo.com. I can be nice. Again, I do happy birthdays and bar mitzvahs and circumcisions and a couple of kids from Palestinian, uh, have me some, some stuff to Tel Aviv that wasn't very nice. I didn't, but I needed the 60 bucks. Uh, anyhow, cameo.com, click on it. Every morning I wake up, I have a couple in my box and it makes my day, makes my day to start off angry. It makes my day to start off angry. Anyways, do that. Go to nickdip.com.

Click on Cameo. I keep saying go to Cameo. Go to nickdip.com. Click on Cameo. Fill out the information. Write the message you want me to deliver. And within 48 hours, it'll be delivered to whomever you want for a measly $60. I can either make or ruin somebody's day just you, because I love you that much.

Finally, tonight, artist carves, uh... Artist carves out plan for big wooden bong for the town of Wooden Bong. Wow, this guy is very creative to come up with that, uh... In ancient times, it was illegal to park your chariot in certain places in the biblical city of Nineveh. What was the penalty if you did so?

I took a hit of weed and I get Paul in. They let all the air out of your horse. I really have to move those buttons. Anyhow, an artist from northern New South Wales, this is in Australia, reckons he has come up with the most extraordinary yet, a giant wooden bong for his hometown of Wooden Bong. Please tell me I sent you this clip. Paul Pearson makes bongs, devices commonly used to smoke cannabis.

Thanks for explaining that. Fuck, Stane. Although his creations are ornamental artworks rather than functional. What good are they? I've made them out of dolls. You ever smoke? I smoked out of her head. My eyes! Listen to this

Plastic lobsters Oh my god Vases Exhaust pipes That's dangerous Sometimes you take too deep a hit Mix bongs out of plastic lobsters. Oh, my God. Vases, exhaust pipes. That's dangerous. Sometimes you take too deep a hit and you lose your friends. But when Mr. Pearson moved to Wooden Bong, northwest of Lismore and just south of We Don't Give a Fuck, he decided to try to make wooden bongs just to fit in.

Mr. Pearson built one bong. You don't make them out of wood even i know because the water rots them you know i'm saying you don't uh my wife had this wooden dildo and she used to bring in the tub and they fucking turned into suds after three times mr pearson built one bong that stood one and a half meters but he had an even bigger goal that he believed would bring droves of tourists to the rural community boy it's it's got to be a boring community. I believe people from all over the world share my dream. Just that quote tells you and tells me that weed is not harmless. This guy's frigging mad. I've envisioned a giant wooden bong taller than Big Marino in Goldburn.

And that's pretty big. Have you met Big Marino? Let's show the video of the big bong he's making It's my new favorite bong I wish I could smoke it Hasn't affected him weed, huh? Billy, can you bring that upstairs? We're on the third floor Yeah, I'll be right up

He's brain dead Let that be a lesson to you young kids smoke cigarettes they're better for you they'll take your lungs out at least you won't look stupid anyways of course of course there were mixed responses he wanted to get a petition going including a giant wooden bong with tourist information underneath

so when you pull into the town you know the guy's got some free time in his hand wooden bong local Gloria William information underneath. So when you pull into the town, you know, the guy's got some free time in his hand. Woodenbong local Gloria William said the town's name was adapted for the local indigenous word Nangdungbunge. Who gives a fuck? Here's another broad with no sense of humor.

Some interpret that as meaning duck on water. How about fuck on face, lady? But Miss Williams said she had been told it meant place of the platypus. Jesus, she's filled with a wealth of knowledge, this yeast infection. Is she not? The name wooden bong has nothing to do with the bong, she said.

We don't need anything else man-made. Another person said it's not in line with family values. It's an innovative idea, but I think it's totally inconsistent with the culture and values of a local community, some douchebag said.

Okay, family values. You're not living in a city called Wooden Cock, okay? It's a wooden bong he's making. I mean, get over yourselves. This is a harmonious and very productive little community, and we have good family values here, and I don't think this sort of publicity would be useful. Well, thank you for weighing in, Debbie Donner.

Fucking bitch. Anyhow, that is it. I've had enough. Have you had enough? You open my freezer, I have ten of these from my middle school in, uh, whatever, Vermont. Anything else? Slippery. Anything?

Nothing else. All right. Shittiest bong I've ever seen. All right. That is it, ladies and gentlemen, for today. So it's weird. I sided with a guy who wants to make a giant bong for the town. Sided with McCain, who,, politically, I never agreed with.

So who says the show's one way? This ain't no echo chamber, motherfuckers. Am I right, Suzanne? Get out of here! Anyways, remember, you guys have been thinking of it 30 years. I've been saying it. That's why I look like I'm in my late 80s. You're welcome. I will see you guys have been thinking of it 30 years i've been saying it that's why i look like i'm my late 80s you're welcome i will see you guys tomorrow take care of your dirty selves © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ We'll see you next time.