The Nick DiPaolo Show - Next Nu Virus | Nick Di Paolo Show #631

Episode Date: November 29, 2021

Jack-off Dorsey Stepping Down. Denim Douche Bags. Disney cowtows to China. Fine Young Cannibals. New Jersey Jerk Offs. Chappelle slammed as "childish". Man survives landing gear.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television or from the White House, now more than ever our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed. And that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show. And that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning,

honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. guitar solo Oh yeah, welcome back from a long weekend. How was your Thanksgiving, everybody? Good to see you. Kiss my ass. All right, no need of that talk, you bitch. Good morning, my neighbors!

Hey, fuck you! Great time. I had Dallas and his girlfriend over for Thanksgiving. My producer, Dallas Burgess, and his girlfriend, Gianna, who was very funny. I can tell she's California. She's kind of got a hippie vibe, cool, funny. Told the story about sitting under a hair dryer, an antique one that she bought.

Fucking had me choking on my food. Yeah, it was good times had by all later on. Watched football and did what you do, put on a few pounds. Best part was cooking. I started like 10 at night on, what, Tuesday night? Wife goes to bed. I'm like, yeah, break out all the heat. It's 3 in the morning.

I got a TV in the kitchen. It's 3 in the morning. I'm making, well, let's, we had chicken and turkey, I mean, excuse me, chicken and sausage gumbo. Can't you just smell it? Can you smell what Rocco's cooking? Oh, yeah. Put that over mashed potatoes. Okay?

You're supposed to do rice, but it's Thanksgiving. Mashed potatoes. Cranberry sauce with booze in it and a serrano pepper. I mean, mother of God. Anyhow, and then Dallas and his girlfriend drank about a bottle and a half of wine. It's like they were at Woodstock. It was unbelievable. And they fucking ate. I don't know how you can eat that much food and alcohol. I can't do both. I got to do one or the other. Anyhow, all right, let's get on with this. I can't wait to fucking quit show business.

In the N-word segment today, Omicron, I think that's how you say it, COVID variant may already be in America, Dr. Fauci says. And why question his word? He's only been caught lying more times than China itself about these viruses in the past two years. Really, another variant? This was more predictable than the Detroit Lions losing on Thanksgiving. Fauci says the new Omicron virus probably is already in the United States.

And to that I say, so what? So is half of South and Central America. And oh, by the way, we didn't even bother testing them for any of these viruses. So excuse me if I yawn out of boredom at the latest virus announcement. After one minute past midnight last night,

the U.S. banned travel from South Africa, Botswana, Zimbabwe, Nambia, all my vacation spots. Lesotho. Oh, not Lesotho. No, not Lesotho. Well, there's eight people. We don't have to worry about bringing us the fake virus. But what makes this announcement smell fishier than Hunter Biden's fingers is that it was made at the end of last week. You understand that? So where's the urgency? So I guess your immune system's impervious to the variant. If you have turkey, cranberry sauce, or cornbread,

or chicken gumbo in your bloodstream. But Dr. Fauci, this variant could be worse than all the other ones, Dr. Fauci. I mean, come on. We need your help. I'll be right there. Nobody's more aware of the urgency than the situation that I am. Honey, pass the yams, please. And let's talk on Monday. I got a grand on the Cowboys. Oh, and to you, Mr. Biden, you call Trump's travel bans

racist and xenophobic. Hell, at least the majority of his countries that he banned were European and white. Talk about racist. The ones you're banning are more black and brown than a litter of newborn Rottweilers. This is obviously the next step in the globalist plan to restrict our movements, our personal freedoms, kill more businesses, make us all more reliant on these power-hungry bastards trying to usher in the New World Order, all by placing the hobnail jackboot on our freedom-loving throats. Screw them and the viruses they rode in on. Don't buy it for a second. It's bullshit. And that's the N-word.

Hope it wasn't too edgy for you. Fucking motherfuckers. Do you believe it, though? Do you believe it? Another one. Do you remember we had to flatten the curve in two weeks? Remember that was when it first came? You guys remember that?

All you had to do was flatten the curve or two. Here we are, what, over two years later? You think they're going to stop with this nonsense? Do you understand? They're trying to divide the world. New world order, all that shit. It's not a conspiracy theory. Please, read your chink history. They're just doing what any smart country would do, can try to, try to control the globe. But we're like the young stupid kids. Yeah, we've been around a couple of times. They wouldn't do that. We're too worried about what we should call a he-she. They, them, they. What a country of jerk-offs. Real quick, this broke right before I came on. I'd call it the air, but it's the internet. Jack Off Dorsey stepping down.

CNBC reported this morning that according to confidential sources, Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey is expected to step down from his position, which is bent over a couch, at the company real soon. Dorsey serves as the CEO of both Twitter and the digital payment processor Square. In a statement, Dorsey said, and the digital payment processor square. Mm-hmm. Bye-bye, dickhead. In a statement, Dorsey said, I've decided to leave Twitter because I believe the company is ready to move on from its founders.

Maybe hand it off to some dirty Chinese. Twitter shares trended upwards following the announcement before being halted due to new spending. Shares were up as much as 10% in pre-market trading following the announcement before being halted due to new spending. Shares were up as much as 10% in pre-market trading following the initial news of Dorsey's plans to leave the firm. Green, for lack of a better word, is good. Well, when somebody leaves a firm and the stocks go up,

doesn't that mean they thought he was a negative influence, even though he invented the whole thing? I don't know. I don't know money. What am I, fucking Al Holbrook? I don't know what that meant. Dorsey will be replaced by a CEO with an Indian name? No, I don't believe it. Parag Agarwal.

Agarwal. Parag Agarwal is going to replace him. I guess he interviewed for the position earlier and didn't get it. He said this. But you don't have opening? No. But why not? Twitter's chief technology officer is who Agrawal was.

Agrawal will now be responsible for hitting the targets. What does that mean? Shutting down conservatives? Or anybody who fucking thinks for themselves? Set by Twitter recently, of 350 monetizable daily active user. Is that a misprint?

Huh? That number's supposed to be unless I'm not understanding. 315? I had that many followers the first 10 minutes I was on. By the end of 2023, in double the company's current annual revenue. Jesus. This isn't the first time that Dorsey has faced losing his role as CEO. Last year, Twitter stakeholder Elliot Management, is that his name?

No, stakeholder, it's probably a company. Elliott Management sought to replace him after the firm's founder and billionaire investor, Paul Singer, questioned Dorsey's ability to run both Square and Twitter. Dorsey's founder, excuse me, Dorsey founded Twitter and served as company CEO until 2008 when he was pushed out of the role before returning. How do you get, I never understood this. This is why I'm not a business guy. How do you get pushed out of something you invented? I know you're going to go, well, you got shareholders and blah, blah, now they own it and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I don't give a fuck. If my name's on it, I'm not going anywhere. And he probably isn't. He'll be behind the scenes

feeding this Indian dirty stuff. Before returning in 2015 after former CEO Dick Costolo left, I tell you, when Dick left, I was up a shit's creek without a paddle. Anyways, it's still going to be the, don't think it's going to change. It's going to be a fucking cesspool of people that have no lives, fat fucks laying on their beds with no girlfriends, just shitting on people who would do better in life than they are. That's all it is. Twitter did one thing. Social media exposed the lack of character people have in this country, including myself.

Anyways, let's move on. Denim douchebags. What the hell does that mean? Denim douchebags, everybody. Hey, Levi Strauss, this one sent me through the roof, and you know it takes a lot by now, seriously. Levi Strauss, when I thought I've seen everything, and company, what's that, a group?

Reached out to its U.S. employees, offering, and don't put the picture of this bitch in bed, offering individual counseling, okay? Individual counseling in promoting a forthcoming session with a racial trauma specialist. You get this so far? And you're thinking, was there a shooting at the factory? To help promote safety, help promote safety, comma, sharing, and to encourage healing. Following what? A mass shooting? A stabbing at the office? Following the acquittal of Kyle Rittenhouse, the company confirmed to Fox Business

on Wednesday. Unbelievable. It's not going to be long before you all kill yourselves because you're all crazy and you can project it back on me i ain't crazy you are and your children what about your children they're running down the streets i didn't write the music it says rise up it's telling them to kill I didn't write the music. It says rise up. It's telling them to kill. Did you just hear that because of an acquittal? Seriously, if this is where we're at, and we are,

if one side of the population in this country can't perceive reality correctly, and that's what it is, this violence is coming Seriously, you can't have a society. We want people Won't even admit the truth or Ignore law in order completely the guy was acquitted shouldn't have been tried in the first place and they're calling him a murderer and shit But you'll see why in a second and why people are racist and shit. But you'll see why in a second and why people are racist. Levi's chief diversity, you need one of these at a fucking denim factory. It's a big company. Levi's chief diversity, equity, and inclusion officer. Now me being a racist, I went, bet you she's a black chick.

Well, let's see who Elizabeth Morrison is. Oh, I was wrong. A black guy in pigtails. Look at her. Her fucking hair says, her face says everything offends me in the world. She sent an email, this dummy, this is who's making major decisions. And this is why there was such thing as a glass ceiling and shit. Cause you're fucking insane. Gender, race, whatever, take that however you want. Elizabeth Morrison sent an email following the verdict that began with the news that Kyle Rittenhouse was not convicted in the shooting of three individuals. Follow the wording on this closely.

Two of whom lost their lives during racial justice protests last year. Is that what that was? Burning and fucking looting a town that had nothing to do with anything? Is that what it was? A protest, you fucking lying whore? This is a difficult day for many. No, it isn't. It's actually a great day for many.

People who believe in law and order and the fucking, you know, things like the fucking Constitution. Ugh. Shut your fucking mouth! Shut the fuck up, you cunt! The pain and trauma of race. This is her talking. This broad has never experienced racism in her fucking life.

Trust me. The pain and trauma of race identity and belief-based tragedies. What does that mean? Have you ever heard that? You're a soldier, Dallas. Is that why you go to Afghanistan? Belief-based tragedies?

What the fuck? It's a reality that many of us are struggling with. You're struggling with a verdict, first of all, that was so right, nobody should be arguing. Secondly, it shouldn't even come to that. And yet you still see it as something crooked. We're struggling with, on an ongoing basis, well, then you weren't meant for this world.

Seriously, you people, young people, whatever, I don't know what you call now, fucking not whatever you're not meant for this planet if you believe in safe spaces and shit cuz soon as you came out of your mother's snatch that was the last state that's the last safe space you're ever gonna fucking see welcome to the world to help promote that was. To help promote, that was gross. To help promote safety, sharing, to encourage healing, I'll be hosting a fireside, not me, her, fireside chat and a Q&A with Dr. Jamila Codrington. I wonder if this black woman would go to a black psychologist.

Oh, yes. There she is with a side order of fucking dog shit on her head. A licensed psychologist. That's what we need, more female minority psychologists, because this country has become soft and squishy and victimhood doesn't reign enough. Licensed psychologists and racial trauma specialists in early December. Morrison added, Dr. J and I will talk about the mental and physical impacts of back-to-back social and racial justice events. Yeah, and guess what? The system worked

in both of them. If you're talking about Aubrey, if you're talking about, right, Aubrey, is that his name? And fucking right nowhouse. Coping mechanism during our discussion. Who gives a fuck what you think? Your hairdo tells me your fucking judgment stinks. It's the I hate white people hairdo. The Levi executive went on to encourage, listen to this, individual counseling sessions for employees who need them

before sharing resources. Listen to all the shitty buzzwords to employees impact social justice, equality, and drive positive change, such as what? Such as what? Oh, looting and shit under $900 merchandise and you don't have to go to jail? Is that change?

Such as getting educated and informed, which you're not, on the issue of gun violence, which it wasn't. The violence was coming from a jerk-off child rapist, convicted, by the way, who was threatening to kill a guy. Another guy pointed a gun at Rittenhouse's head, and another one was trying to kill a guy another guy pointed a gun at Rittenhouse's head and another one was trying to kill him with a skateboard but this is considered gun violence to them even though all those riots last summer was a 40-something people died and all I don't talk about that and

reaching out to your elected officials to let them know just how important common sense gun laws are to you. Well, guess what? Maybe you didn't hear about the results of the election a few weeks ago in Virginia. Yeah, people have reached out, and they've had enough idiots like you. Oh, my God. The gun laws make perfect sense, psychotic. If I could, I'd grab this microphone and I'd beat your brains out with it because that's two Manson's in one store do I have any Linda Kasabian quotes in here oh my god a a Levi's spokesman Jimmy

Levi confirmed to Fox Business that the email was sent to all U.S. employees and that the purpose of the fireside chat is accurately described in the email. Oh, good luck. I say boycott these schmucks. Go Wrangler. That'll really piss them off. Something that white cowboys wear. Fuck Levi.

Do you see what's happening, folks? Every corporation has a black woman at the helm now or in important positions because they have to be woke. They're scared of the 12 people on Twitter that'll boycott them. And it's working beautifully. Can you imagine you were traumatized by, I was traumatized over the Rittenhouse verdict too, because I couldn't believe they got it right. Almost went into shock. Pinch my ass. Am I dreaming? I am. Hey, let me do an imitation of Joe Biden reading the teleprompter. Merch read. Oh, I'm not supposed to say that.

End of quote. He actually did that, you know. You know, I was pleasantly surprised to see so many people who bought Nick DiPaolo show t-shirts and hats and mugs over the holiday weekend. Boy, there's going to be a lot of disappointed kids. No. There's going to be a lot of people getting Nick DiPaolo gear for Christmas this year, and I really appreciate that. Starting today, for the rest of this week, you can use the promo code STNICK for an additional 10% off your order. That's S-T-N-I-C-K, as in St. Nick. You'll also see in the store that we've added the official Nick DiPaolo show hoodie. And if you want to go out and mug somebody, you put that up over your head, maybe get some Nikes and Air Joy. Make sure to get your orders in so you'll have them in time for Christmas, for Kwanzaa,

Ramadan, and Yon Kipper. I have no idea what I'm saying. Just go to nickdip.com and click on store. And I thank you guys so much. And I do. We get excited. I do my shows. There's a ton of T-shirts in the crowd.

It's terrific. And it's a good way to break the ice with somebody when they go, you watch that show? What the fuck? You are alt-righty? Yes, I am, Auntie Carol. Shut your hole. What's this say? Who wrote this headline?

It's very kind of racist. I don't know. Disney and chinks sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I and who the hell? Let me talk to the producer we hired. What's his name? Kevin McDonald? Disney Plus users in Hong Kong. By the way, I perform comedy.

I don't mean to brag, but I am a man of the world. I performed comedy in Hong Kong years ago, and it was tremendous. What a city, man. That skyline dwarfs Manhattan. It looks like you could fit two Manhattans more. I've never seen a bigger skyline. Anyways, Disney Plus users in Hong Kong

have noticed an episode of The Simpsons is conspicuously missing. That's right, Homer. The 16th season of the iconic Fox animated show jumps from episode 11 to 13 when viewers in the city browse the flagship Disney streaming service. Now, why would this surprise you if Disney's involved?

Do you know they're the number one purveyor of political correctness and brainwashing in the goddamn world? What happened when it was a good company, a Nazi road? Which what Disney was. The missing episode, number 12, first broadcast in 2005,

happens to be the one where Homer takes his family to China. Do you see this? Do you see what's going on? Where they visit Tiananmen Square and come across a placard that reads, on this site in 1989, nothing happened. See, that's a play, that's satire on the Chinese government. That's what they do when you're dictators and communists. They hide shit like that, sort of like what the Democrats are doing, trying to rip down bad history, you know?

It appears the episode had suffered precisely the kind of censorship it was written to ridicule, which is a great point. It's just so ridiculous. The censorship of such content would come as no surprise, that's what I just said, in mainland China, where any mention of the 89 massacre of pro-democracy student protesters has been scrubbed clean. Does that sound familiar? Who scrubs the past clean in this country? Lefty Democrat cocksuckers, that's who, scrubbed clean of public discourse for decades. But the apparent voluntary removal of the episode, that's us, Disney, an American company, genuflecting to dictatorship, censorship, especially when done by a major U.S. media company,

is relatively a new feature of civic life there. How, what a bunch of ballers. Ballas. Director Joe Piscitella, very good, he directed my last special. That's an Italian? Thought he was Jewish. Hey, Joe Piscitella, you motherfucker. One of the last vestiges of free speech in Hong Kong is now gone. The result is self-censorship by filmmakers who now have to question what might run afoul of the new rules. And increased scrutiny by financiers and distributors who now must consider that very same question. Oh my God. Turn off the lights. The party's over.

They say that all good things must end. Call it a night. The party's over. And tomorrow and next year starts the same old thing. Dandy Don drunk. So now we're acquiescing to what China wants and, well, yeah, we've already been doing it with social media companies, but Christ's sake,

you got, like, who was it? Google working hand in hand with the Chinese? Facebook, Zuckerberg. They have no problem with censorship. Neither does Disney. Don't let them kid you. How? I don't understand.

Were your lives that miserable when you were young or even now that you want to try communism or Marxism? Honestly, what the fuck were you touched by a dirty angel? This story, let's lighten it up. As you know, my idea of light is a little different than yours. Here's a nice abortion story. We found 12 fetuses under a mailbox in Detroit. What? Say what?

Headline. Right here. Great Fenway from the San Francisco area. How about that city? Just fallen to fucking, I mean, too dangerous. I love it. Same with L.A. All the cities that you jerk off left is run.

Evidence refutes, as the great Rush Limbaugh said, everyday evidence refutes what you believe in. I think Norm MacDonald said, joking around, and I think he was referring to politics, left-wing. What if you woke up one day and realized everything you believed was wrong? That's exactly what's happening. Don't worry. Eventually, somebody you love or are close to will be a victim of some type of street crime.

And we can all fucking laugh about it. Fine young cannibals. Oh, we're going to go to a, that's the name of the headline. She drives me crazy like no one else. She drives me crazy and I can't help myself. So it's called fine young cannibals. Headless body falls out of cannibal's car. Don't you hate that? You have a fender bender with a fucking cannibal. And his daughter's head rolls out of the back seat with an apple in its mouth like a roast pig. I'll tell you. Headless body falls out of cannibal's car after crash.

And I get nervous when I get pulled over for speeding. Sir? Sir, have you been drinking tonight no just eating what now my neighbor a purported russian when russians are nuts it's a whole different level of nutty it seems like a purport i guess we have psychos too a purported russian cannibal and two other men what the were the two other men also cannibal just hanging out with their friend who likes to eat people?

Hanging out with two other men were arrested after police discovered a decapitated body at the scene of a car crash. What's funny is, usually when you find a decapitated body at the scene of a car crash, it was because of the car crash. Not because you were an appetizer like two hours early.

The bloody, I mean, excuse me, the bloody. I'm so excited about this story. It's making me hard. The body fell out of the trunk of a Mitsubishi. Why is a Russian driving a Mitsubishi? Worst car to put a body in. driving a Mitsubishi. Worst car to put a body in. When it crashed into a highway fence on the side of a highway in the Leningrad region last week, according to a rough translation of a report by state news agency TASS, cops arrested three suspects, two of whom allegedly drunkenly murdered a man in St. Petersburg

in a garage, which they then set on fire. Boy, this is partying on the weekend, huh? Thanksgiving? That's what the YS service, they just murdered people. They asked the guy if he's nuts. You're crazy! I'm not crazy. I just don't give a fuck. Anyhow, the suspects then fled the scene and crashed their car, but not before one of them reportedly engaged in cannibalism. Of course. But the guy said, you know, I feel bad for the guy because he says, I nibbled to just take a taste.

23-year-old Yegor Komarov said in court, according to footage of the court hearing reported by the Daily Beast. Bon appetit. There he is. There he is. Can I get some floss? I got some of my mother's nipples between my eye teeth. Oh, my god. Are you ready? Listen, are you ready

to eat a human again? An interrogator reportedly asked. And this is what he replies, the guy. Do you have some? The suspect replies. Oh my god. Fucking A. I ate his liver

with some fava beans and a nice Chianti. Oh, my God. Komarov also admitted to murdering and eating a man last September without any reason. Were you not even hungry? And said he hunted for victims in a local park, according to the report in the YSR. Can you fucking imagine? What's he doing? He should be in New York with the rest of the wackos.

Unreal. That happened to me that very story, you know, in high school. Fender Bender, and the guy hit, seriously, two fucking legs. Fender Bender. And the guy hit, seriously, two fucking legs. Two human legs and a head popped out of the trunk onto the street. Followed by three buckets of Goulden's mustard. Somebody finish this bit, I'm tired.

I did tired. I thought that that. Hey, if you haven't already, please take a moment and sign up at the comics, Jim.com to get my exclusive on core show today. I'll be giving my take on the Jussie Smollett trial. I think he was framed. He's a good colored kid to get access. Just click on any of the encore episodes and sign up at the Sonny, Michael, or Vito levels. You'll also get discounts off Nick DiPaolo Show merchandise.

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Spread the word. Buy one for your Christmas gift. Get somebody's subscription. You know what I'm saying? I said do it. God damn you, I said do it. Come on, God damn it. Come on, let's go, let's go. Let's go.

Mama. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Mama. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. With drops of Jupiter in her hair. New Jersey jerk-off is the headline. Plural offs. Nearly a year and a half after first announcing the change, the Camden School District has restarted the process of renaming Woodrow Wilson High School.

This is what we're concentrating on. As Russia is doing whatever the fuck they're doing, China is about to move on Taiwan, right? Russia's probably going to move on the Ukraine. They're probably talking on the phone, hey, we'll do it the same day you will. This is what we're, seriously, this is what we're concentrating on. Because liberals are running the show. Oh, they won't hurt us. They're our friends. China's got a supersonic missile that's something that we don't have. And this is what we're concentrating on. Renaming the 90-year-old school gained traction in the summer of 2020 in the aftermath of the murder of George Floyd at the hands of a police officer in Minneapolis, but it grew out of concerns expressed by residents long before then,

including a change.org petition launched in 2019 to support the measure by some really ignorant people who have no idea what's important in life and who will die at the hands of foreigners they invited into this country. When officially announced last June, Camden Superintendent Katrina McCombs, let me guess, oh, oh, for the love of God, let me guess. Huh? Any white guys making any decisions about the future of this country? God help us. Ugh.

Me fuck you and your bone spurs. Why'd you say that? There she is, the Cameron superintendent, Katrina McCombs. Graduated DeVry with a 1.8 in fucking air conditioning. She thanked the community, which raised the concern, because she lives an empty life, about the social being, about the social being? Nick, what the fuck? About the school being renamed after an individual who expressed and demonstrated racist values.

So I guess we won't see anything with Malcolm X's name on it, right? How about even the Reverend Martin Luther King Jr., who sat by when his friend raped a woman and laughed about it? Going to change that too? Oh, you just made that up. Black people good, white people bad. Let me tell you, Katrina, get out of my face. A renaming committee of over 100 members, including parents, local actors.

New Jersey, you get what you deserve, you fucking liberal shithole. And I love that, by the way, they're very good to be comedy guys. I'm not counting you people that show up at the Bananas in Hasbrook Heights every year. There used to be a gig I did. Anyways, parents, local activists, school administrators was then formed and met over Zoom to discuss any options. Let me ask you a question. Did any parents say it's not a good idea? They don't even mention, you know.

You did it through Zoom, did you? Among the contenders for the name at the time, this is who they think about naming, Odell Beckham, Arendt and all, James Simpson, and Flip Wilson. So the late civil rights giant, oh, whitey hater, U.S. Rep. John Lewis,

who said more racist shit about white people on the Senate floor. But, you know, he's an icon and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. That's your world. I just live in it. John Lewis. Right here, Johnny Lewis. John Lewis. Right here, Johnny Lewis. Former president. They were thinking about naming it after Barack Obama.

And we all know he's a fag. And late Camden School Board president. This is the one I voted for. Martha Wilson. His bra was terrific. She's the one who got collet greens into the cafeteria every Tuesday and Cheetos and grape soda. Martha Wilson, East High School and Camden East or East Camden High School were also under consideration.

Why don't you name it the politically correct shithole? PCS. Wilson, a Democrat born and raised in Virginia, was president of the United States. Oh, I see why they're still upset about it. It was just a few weeks ago, 1913 to 1921. Prior to that, he was the governor of New Jersey from 1911 to 1913. He used to get his suits from a guy named Cy Sims, the first Southerner to be elected president since 1848. Wilson has been both praised and vilified for his time in office.

He racially resegregated parts of the United States government. Well, that's what you're trying to do on Harvard campuses and separate graduations and dorms and shit. And I say segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever. He also made sweeping changes, including launching the Federal Reserve Bank. How'd that work out for us?

And helping the Allied powers win World War I. Other than that, he was a real jerk-off. Let's replace it with fucking Bernie Mac school. Do somebody, well, speaking of black, that was actually a good segue. Dave Chappelle back on the news my buddy dave and again and i said it before quit making him out to be this herald that's pushing the envelope because when you're black you can get away about in that famous you'll get away with pretty much everything but i love that he's doing this i love that he's shining a

light on it and um keep it up dave Don't take no shit off nobody. Good for you. Comedian Dave Chappelle slammed as childish during Q&A at his former high school. What I like about him, he's put on about 50 pounds of muscle since when he used to hang out in New York, and now he's chain smokes.

Fucking love it. Multiple media outlets have reported comedian Dave Chappelle made a recent appearance at his former high school and things went south very quickly. The 54-year-old... I'm only five years older than him? I thought he was a kid? The 54-year-old comedian.

I like him now even more. Visited Duke Ellington School. Holy shit, he went to Duke Ellington. I went to Ella Fitzgerald. And then I got my PhD at Dizzy Gillespie. Say what? Ellington School of the Arts earlier this week and spoke to about 580 students

who voiced their concerns over his recent Netflix special called The Closer. I guess they found it distressing. Oh, boy, you. One student at Duke Ellington School of the Arts voiced their opinion, telling Chappelle, I'm 16, and I think you're childish. You handled it like a child in reference to how the comedian reacted to the initial backlash. Really? You 16?

Who gives a fuck what you think? Chappelle responded to the student, and this is why I like him. Does it with much more pleasantness than I'd ever do. I'd go, listen to you little cocksucker. How about I open your ass behind the dumpster out front like a fucking... Then they'd go, cut, cut his mic. With all due respect, Dave said, I don't believe you could make one of the decisions I have to make on a given day.

Absolutely right. A source told Insider, two transgender people were in line and one transgender person was trying to explain and Dave Chappelle kept talking over him and blatantly disrespecting the fact that he was talking and trying to make a joke out of the situation and then the second transgender person tried to explain to Dave Chappelle what misgendering was and Dave Chappelle interrupted her and completely ignored that sounds like Dave Chappelle is doing exactly what he

should be doing and the rest of us should be doing. Just in my opinion, no disrespect. All due respect. And then moved on to the next person. How can't you love Dave? He was the best guy around. Chappelle reportedly told the students, I am better at what I do than all of you in this room combined. Oh, come on, they're students. Despite the rocky nature of the Q&A, it seems not everyone was opposed to Chappelle's appearance, with a majority of students clapping as he's made his way on stage.

It has since been reported the school is in the process of naming their theater after the comedian, yet they have a problem with this whole thing. You fucking hypocrite. Imagine that. So he said in the rest after the comedian, yet they have a problem with this whole thing. You fucking hypocrite. Imagine that. So he said, in the rest of the article, put your money where your mouth is.

He said either donate, right, to change the name of the school, and if you don't, or donate against it or for it. But, and he goes, and if you don't donate at all, shut your fucking mouth. I love the guy. Hey, I want to thank you guys who contribute to this show financially.

Jeffrey Harris of Florida, and we got Anthony Castellucci, Texas, Robert Carr of New Jersey, Kiefer Gingrich, North Dakota, Kelly Hubbard, Michigan Peter Taylor, Arizona David Corsi, Texas Hey, these are some new ones

Jeffrey Dupuis, New Hampshire Austin Pardee, Nevada Natalie Nicole, New Jersey Joe Molina, Arizona Sean Powell of Florida Larry Ramey, Ohio A couple couple of regular. These three guys, Paul Sagnelli, Connecticut, Kit Fortney, two of Michigan, Robert Deloach, Louisiana, Ken Buller, Pennsylvania, Afsin Silbornoff, Oregon, Brett Holm, Texas, Christopher Ryan of New York.

Thank you guys all so much. Couple of monthly supporters. We have to get this number up. Hasne Abbas. Oh my God, I love it. Hussain Abbas. I can hear his belt ticking now. Kenneth Kuchnicki.

Thank you guys. Seriously, those are monthly subscribers. Love you guys. Thank you so much. Let's move on. This show's final story. Ladies and gentlemen, wheels up. Right here, a man was apprehended at a

Miami airport, Tennessee airport. Man was apprehended at Miami International Airport on Saturday after he traveled there in the landing gear of a plane that departed from Guatemala, U.S. Customs and Border Protection said. Adam Schiff was found in the. What?

This guy stowed away. That takes some serious stones, does it not? Hillary, that's not... Wow, how do you not die? The 26-year-old man whose name and nationality were not released by the Border Patrol because, you know, we do that to a minority, it'd be racist, had attempted to evade, they probably know who he is, attempted to evade detection by stowing himself in the landing gear compartment.

How can you watch how landing gear works and go, you know what? It'll be a safe place to hide. Right where those giant hydraulics and those fucking 80,000 pound tires come up. He hid in the landing gear compartment. Now his face looks like a pug's, they said. He hid in the Landegag apartment. Now his face looks like a pug's, they said. Adding that the man was evaluated by emergency medical services and taken to a hospital.

Was it the funny hospital? Watch out because I'm... What? What was he running from? I know Guatemala's probably a shithole. Nick, why would you say that? Because I just did. The flight American Airlines 1182 landed in Miami shortly after 10 a.m. on Saturday. It was met by law enforcement due to a security... Well, how'd they like know? Was he banging on... Alfredo Garduno, a spokesman for America Airlines, said they met this guy in the time.

People who attempt to hide in confined spaces, such as wheel wells on planes, are taking an extreme risk. Well, thank you, detective. Temperatures in non-pressurized, non-climate controlled parts of the plane can drop to 65 degrees below zero. Boy, my wife wouldn't last in that thing. It drops under 82 in the bedroom. According to the Federal Aviation Administration, which has studied the phenomenon of wheel well stowaways, the name of my next album, people who embark on such a journey risk dying of hypothermia, hypoxia, and fucking embarrassment. No, and a lack of oxygen, being crushed by the equipment, like Dallas almost was when he dropped his computer on his foot today,

and falling to their deaths. They throw in last. I like that one. Yeah! and falling to their deaths they they throw in last i like that one yeah let's see the video This is Miami Airport, by the way. Oh my God! Pause.

Put it back. Why did you go away with it? Anyways, I was going gonna make a joke that looks like the inside of my wife not my wife I mean my ex-girlfriend pig-faced Magoo who I dated up at University of Maine anyways that's it did you see that where did he fit honest to, I'd let him stay. Seriously, I'd make him a citizen tomorrow. That's an effort. Did you really say that, Nick, as a conservative voice? I did. Mother of God, hiding in a wheel well. I couldn't handle it in the back of a station wagon when we were eight years old going on a vacation.

I used to go fucking nuts. My father would lock up the brakes, my face would kiss the back of the headrest, and I'd cut my lip and hit belly lap. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. I hope the show didn't go too long, but it's Monday, fuck it. Anyways, you get a lot of editing to do, Dallas.

Don't forget thecomicsgym.com. Sign up there, please. Monthly. Please, if you want me to continue this. Otherwise, I have to go back to selling on some type of hash that I found at Tijuana. Don't forget, I don't know, nickdip.com. Buy some merchandise 10% off for the holidays. And cameo.com.

If you want me to roast a friend or a relative, go to cameo.com. Click on my profile. I'll make a video, and I'll send it right to that person. You tell me who he is or her, and we'll rip them to assholes. It's a lot of fun for the holidays. That is it, you guys.

Thank you, and I will say it. You're very welcome. We will see back here tomorrow at the same time. Have a nice day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music