The Nick DiPaolo Show - Obama's Corrupt DOJ Saved Hillary's Fat White Old Ass #134

Episode Date: March 13, 2019

Lisa Page outs Obama's DOJ BJ. DeBlasio Ditches kids' Meat. CNN Strokes itself, Can't Finish. 

I'll take them. Oh yeah, you know what that means. Showtime. Welcome to the show on a Wednesday. How are you folks? 833-599-NICK. 833-599-6425. Real quick, Facebook has been on and off all over the world today. So I don't think we're streaming on Facebook right now.

Nothing we can do about it. So you may have noticed if you're not getting it. It was online people saying, oh, it's who knows, huh? Maybe it's the Russians. Maybe Trump is colluding with Putin to fuck up Facebook. Trump says, look, I don't like this guy Zuckerberg. What can you do for me? And Putin's like, I'll do what I did in an election. Well, fuck with their feed. And a quick, quick shout outs to Nicholas Simone. These are financial contributions made at nickdip.com.

Nicholas Simone, thank you so much. And Christopher, either tone or thone, has donated 100 bucks. I read the three-figure ones on the air. Thank you so much, Nicholas and Christopher. Go to nickdip.com if you want to contribute financially on top of whatever.

Maybe you're a Patreon member too. Anyhow, what's going on? Oh, what is going on? Former FBI legal counsel, Lisa Page, remember Strzok, his beautiful girlfriend, testified to Congress that the Justice Department, this is under Obama, the dirty Marxist, ordered the FBI not to charge former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton with gross negligence by mishandling classified information. I'll say it again. The Justice Department, justice in quotes, told the FBI not to charge the fat, thick-ankled dog face with gross negligence by mishandling classified information, which is exactly what she did.

So there you go, Adam Schiff, you fuckstain. More evidence. That's the best picture they have of her, by the way. Okay. She has the neck of Vince Lombardi. OK. She has the neck of Vince Lombardi. Transcripts of Page's closed door testimony in July 2018 were released Tuesday by Republican Doug Collins of Georgia, which included the following exchange between Republican told you you're not going to charge gross negligence because we're the prosecutors and we're telling you we're not going to. Page says that it's correct. After she took Strzok's balls off her forehead.

Ratliff, bring a case based on that, he says. And Page confirmed the Department of Justice, led by Attorney General Loretta, they should lynch her lynch. No racial overtones there. Her name's Lynch. I had to throw to that. I had multiple conversations, not orgasms, conversations about charging Clinton with gross negligence, but noted that it would be a rare decision. Can you imagine? And the thick-ankled dog face, that fat lion bitch has the nerve to say the fix was in for Trump, and that's why she lost.

Meanwhile, she actually has the Department of Justice doing her dirty work, and she still has the balls. They did not feel that they could sustain a charge, she said, referring to the Department of Justice, which is a bunch of horseshit. Trump reacted to the reports on Wednesday. Surprise, surprise. I'm sure it was a tweet. Uh, they said they just revealed FBI agent Lisa Page's transcripts make the Obama Justice

Department look exactly like it was, a broken and corrupt machine, he wrote. Justice Department look exactly like it was, a broken and corrupt machine, he wrote. Hopefully, justice will finally be served. Much more to come, said the president. You aren't correct, actually, though, because there's got to be no justice. There's got to be no justice. It's been pointed out. The fat bitch should have been in jail for a year now.

No. Obama spied on your campaign where you were running to become president. No. Nobody's gone to jail. Fake doss now. No. Obama spied on your campaign where you're running to become president. No. Nobody's gone to jail. Fake dossier. No. DNC colluded to make the fake dossier with somebody in Russia, ironically enough, and, you know, British spy Christopher Steele and GPS Fusion. I'm not going to go over it again. But the bottom line is they were covering this fat bitch's ass. And nobody's going to go to jail. At least not yet. It's unbelievable how the Republicans are always playing catch up. I mean, what the fuck?

Are they just smarter than you guys or what? There was any justice in the world? Obama and douchebag, what's his name, Clinton, they would have shackles on at the ankles joined together, along with Strzok, Page, Comey, and the rest of the lying whores. So I'll repeat it. Remember Loretta Lynch met with Bill Clinton on the plane? They talked about their grandchildren and shit. Yeah, sure they did. Un-fucking-believable.

So it's right here in black and white. Adam Schiff, you pencil neck geek, what do you have to say to that? I saw him today going, even if there's nothing in the Mueller report, you know, we're going to look into whether the Trump organization was laundering money. Russian money. You fucking dirty, you people. So the thick-ankled dog face is still wandering loose around my neighborhood. I'm praying that I run into her at a restaurant so I can order a nice piping hot cup of coffee and go over and go, can I get your autograph?

Oops! All over those saggy 70-year-old tits that bill hasn't touched since yale and that was with his elbow by accident am i right ryan you are correct sir beautiful how are you twinks you look good today both i'm sick what's the matter with you i don't know my fucking ears hurt and i have a headache your ears hurt because you're wearing those goddamn fucking P. Diddy headphones. Maybe having a period. Anyways, let's keep an eye on that, okay? More evidence.

She just came out and said it, Lisa Page of the FBI, that they were told by the Department of Justice, okay? I mean, for the love of Pete, will somebody go to jail, for Christ's sake? Other than Manafort, who's doing, like, life with some tax evasion and shit? He could hit with more. He's got seven years now, and now 16 new indictments on top of that. This guy.

You know what's hilarious about that? They don't give a shit when an illegal kills somebody, an illegal drunk driver, or when an illegal who's been deported six times shoots a young beautiful girl on the dock with his gun in Sanford. No, they don't give a fuck about that. They want Manafort to rot in jail. They are the stupidest, most retarded, blinded by their ideology and their fucking religion. That's all it is to them. 833-599-6425. So let's see if anything comes of it. I'm sick of pointing this shit out and then watching people escape. How about CNN, the best network in any

airport you'll find, failed to correct, retract, or apologize for its repeated false reports in recent weeks that Trump had referred to neo-Nazis as very fine people in his remarks about the Charlottesville, Virginia riot in 2017. Can you imagine CNN is still in the fucking news? You are fake news, sir. On Tuesday, listen to this. They actually call themselves on their own lies. CNN linked to its own report at the time that reported accurately

that Trump had used very fine people to refer to protesters for and against the removal of a historic statue, not to neo-Nazis, which I knew. We knew. I couldn't believe they didn't correct this. When he said there was fine people on both sides, I knew exactly what he meant that day. I don't know how it got so fucked up. Oh, that's right. The mainstream media, who reports 93% negative coverage against his president, said he was saying the Nazis were fine people and all you morons out there ran with it. It's not what he was saying. There were people on both sides who weren't of the fringe on either side.

They weren't radicals. They weren't Antifa. They were just people there to defend a statue that was being torn down. When he said very fine people on both sides, I knew exactly what he wanted. It wasn't the idiots that were causing violence that day. And I blame the Trump administration. It reminded me of George W. Bush when he used to turn his cheek. But this hurt him for the next. It's to this day. It hurts him. Everybody always brings up. He said that the neo-Nazis that day, he never fucking said it. He never said it. And CNN actually proved their own stupidity. The context was a CNN report Tuesday about a new book about the Trump administration that claims Ivanka Trump stood up for her father against then

economic advisor Gary Cohn over the Charlottesville conference. According to the New York Times, the new book claims that Ivanka Trump told Cohn, my dad's not a racist. CNN covered the Times report and referred to the book's claims throughout the day on Tuesday. Notably, in CNN's article about the book, the network linked to its own coverage of the Charlottesville conference. Both Sides to Blame and Charitable Backlash, written by Dan Marica and published on August 16th of 2017, leaves no doubt about what Trump meant when he used the phrase very fine people. Trump said there were some very bad people on both sides, but there were some who came out to protest the removal of the Robert E. Lee statue who were fine people. That's what the quote was. I remember the next day looking at my wife going, what the fuck? He didn't say that about them. And it's damaged them. I mean, they always throw that in his face. He said, and this was Trump back then, you had people in that group that were there to

protest the taking down to them of a very, very important statute and renaming of a park from Robert E. Lee to another name. They're going to name it the Michael F. Moore Park or some fat buck. CNN's own contemporaries reporting contradicts what many of its main news anchors, contributors and reporters, including Chris, I'm an idiot, Cuomo, Anderson, the goo gobbler, Cooper, Jim, I'm severely retarded, Acosta, April, I smell like a yeast infection, Ryan, and others have claimed recently, namely that Trump suggested there are very fine people in the Nazis in Acosta, April, I smell like a yeast infection, Ryan, and others have claimed recently, namely that Trump suggested there are very fine people in the Nazis. In Acosta's fucking words, we got to believe that fat little asshole.

Notice I put my hand out of the frame because I know somebody pick on that and freeze it. put my hand out of the frame because i know somebody pick on that and freeze it cnn listen to this has even edited video of trump's press conference deceptively to present a claim that its own coverage disproves that's how slimy these motherless wake up white people you can't wake them up they're in a fucking sugar coma. Not all white people. Excuse me. Just had a slice of Sicilian. It weighed about eight pounds, nine ounces.

God damn. Do you know what it's like to fucking work out three times a week and get on the scale? Oh, I put on a pound. Probably had nothing to do with that 11-pound bag of candy i had thrown over my shoulder like santa claus bringing toys back to his hotel room in savannah i ate and i'm not i'm not shitting you i ate 27 little bit of honeys and that was just the beginning then the heavy candy was at the bottom of the bag ate it all never liked that shit when I was young. Got the blood sugar of B.B. King. Yes, I love to go to B.B. for my fucking... Did they do like midwinter Halloween there?

No, it was a candy store. Year round. And this little cute girl came in. I fucking... She was the most beautiful little... She's gonna be a movie star. She cuts in front of me and my wife. She looked like she was maybe five years, six years old. She goes, I usually like savory foods,

but this is just right. Exact quote, like she was working for the fucking Food Network. These big, beautiful eyes. And then she grabs, she goes, this'll do. She grabbed it and ran away. Oh my God. Talk about precocious. Sounded like she was 33 years old. And I'm sitting there

gnawing on a gummy bear. Is that good? Tell me what's good in here. Hey, don't forget cameo.com, folks. I'm doing these every day. They're trickling in. I love it. Go to cameo.com. Click on my profile. If you want me to send a little video to a friend or an enemy, I can make the day. I can ruin it. I can tell your girlfriend she was a syphilitic little whore, your neighbor, you know, blowing leaves onto your side. You hope he gets fucking eye cancer. Anything you want. Happy Bar Mitzvah. Maybe your Grammy get new hips. I will wish her a happy birthday. Any of that horseshit. Nick, go to cameo.com and click on my profile. And you tell me what to say. 60 bucks. And it's the best money you've ever spent. Trust me. People, five stars in every one of them.

Why? Because they have to be mean and funny for 30 seconds or so. I think I can handle it. Not because I'm a comic, because I'm married! What the fuck? I wanted to get to this story yesterday. At the ripe old age of 30, and with half the globe using it, the World Wide Web, as we call it,

is facing growing pains with issues like hate speech, private. You know what's funny? It's the only platform in the world that lets people, well, unless you're conservative, say anything you want and everybody's shitting their pants because they don't like it. See, free speech, there's no such thing as hate speech. It's free speech or there isn't free speech. Either believe in it or you don't. But anyways, the point of this article is it's facing growing pains. Hate speech, privacy concerns, state-sponsored hacking, its creator says. Its creator, Ryan, trumpeting a call to make it better for humanity. humanity. The guy who invented Tim Berners-Lee basically came up with the, you know, the, what is it, HTTP, so you could do it on your browser at home. He's really the genius by the

internet, and it's his words saying that, you know, this is not the way we wanted it to go. He thought he was going to unite the world like all the fucking, which is so funny. These guys are brilliant. Again, you put him back up there. He deserves a little airtime. There he is. These people are brilliant when it comes to math and science, all this shit. They're brilliant.

But when it comes to people and the human condition, they're so naive. And he really thought, I think Zuckerberg believes we're all going to hold hands with people and the rest. It was going to bring the world together, sing Kumbaya and fucking do yoga at 7 a.m. and Tai Chi in the park and everything will be fine. It's also become a place where tech titans scoop up personal data. As we know, rival governments spy and seek to scuttle elections and hate speech and vitriol have thrived, taking the web far from its roots as a space for progressive. Oh, progress, progressoriented minds to collaborate.

So that's why they don't like us fucking idiot conservatives. It was all about, you know, progressive people. Speaking at a Web at 30 conference at CERN, C-E-R-N stands for something. I'm not going back to the first page. I'm too lazy. Berners-Lee acknowledged that a sense among many who are already on the web has become, whoops, the web is not the web we wanted in any respect. And you blew it. You blew it.

His worldwide web found, what are you talking about? I think it's working beautifully. I can go on latinahousewives.com, give it a quick tug at 3 in the morning. I think, what's it say that that's, you pawn gets two billion hits a fucking minute? What's that say about the human condition? We're all horny, outspoken assholes who have nothing important to say. His work exposed us for the rats that we are, like Trump exposed CNN. I'll make that, I'll draw that parallel. His World Wide Web Foundation wants to enlist governments, companies, and citizens to take a greater role in shaping the web for good under

principles laid out in its, listen to this, contract for the web. That's in quotes. Under the contract, this is hilarious. Isn't this cute? Governments are called upon to make sure everyone can connect to the internet. Even after hearing the assholes that are on it now, you want more people? To keep it available and to respect privacy. Somebody's going to have to assassinate the big tech company. Companies are to make the Internet affordable, respect privacy. They're 0 for fucking 9. Am I reading this right?

And develop technologies that will put people in the public good first. Citizens are to create and to cooperate and respect civil discourse, among other things. Fucking adorable. I see him. Relax. I'll repeat that. Citizens are to create and to cooperate and respect civil discourse. We can't do that at a red light

with four people involved. We're going to do this on a global fucking scale? What if... He skipped a little important detail. It was unclear, however, how such rules are being enforced. What are you going to do? Somebody going to peek in my window at 2 in the morning when I'm telling, you know, fucking Judd Apatow to go shit in his hat because of his stupid anti-white, anti-male

faggy movies? Somebody's going to kick down my door? How are you going to enforce this shit? You can't. You created a monster. You can't put the toothpaste back in the bottle there, fella. Let me just give you a little background on how smart this guy is. I can't even work my own email.

I'd like to get this guy and choke the life out of him. As a young English software engineer at CERN, Berners-Lee, who is now 63, came up with the idea for Hypertext Transfer Protocol. You guys know that as HTTP that adorns web addresses and other building blocks for the web. The HTTP system allowed text and small images of, you know, penises going to girls, black people beating the shit out of each other at Arby's, stuff like that, important stuff, to be retrieved through a piece of software, the first browser, which Berners-Lee released in 1990 and is considered the start of the web. You hear that, Ryan? In practice, I thought, again, Al Gore says he did.

In practice, the access to a browser on a home computer made the Internet easily accessible to consumers for the first time. Speaking to reporters on Monday, Bern Apple that he needed for his research. So that's how it all came about. So this guy— Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. Yeah, exactly. I don't know what he's talking about. Berners-Lee said Sendahl told him to pick a random program to develop on it. Why don't you do that hypertext thing?

And two minutes later, we were all yanking it in our bedroom at noontime when we should have been raking leaves uh berners-lee has since become a sort of father figure for the internet community being knighted by queen elizabeth and named as one of the 100 most important people of the 20th century um right behind uh you know who, Kid Rock's hairdresser, by Century, by Time Magazine. Put him in the, he, that being Berner, expressed concerns like the increasing concentration of control of the internet by big corporate players and fretted about a possible splintering of cyberspace among rival countries. Yeah, well, it's all happening, fella. He says the challenges come from the same thing that make the web wonderful,

and that's the difficulty, said conference panelist Zeynep Tufekci, an associate professor at the University of North Carolina School of Information and Library of Science. The openness is wonderful. The connectivity is wonderful. The fact that it was created as a network for academics who are kind of into trusting each other, she said. It was a she. How sexist of me. Anyhow, let's go to Kevin in Chicago who wants to talk about the thick ankle dog face.

Kevin, what's happening? What's up, Nick? Can you believe these freaking Muslims, man? They're going to criticize Israel and AIPAC. Can you believe that? Yeah, you're probably best friends with them. You're in Chicago, right, Kev? No, I am in Chicago.

Can you believe these goat-fuckers, Muslims, man? They're going to criticize AIPAC and Israel? I don't like it. I know you're saying it tongue-in-cheek because you hate Jews. You've made that very clear, but go ahead. Wait, aren't you going to call me Islamophobic or something? Is that only when I criticize Jews you call me anti-Semitic? What are you talking about?

I've shit on radical Islam a hundred times on this show. You have selective hearing. Aren't you going to call me Islamophobic? I'll call you Islamophobic. Are you going to call me... No, because I know you don't mean it. I know this is your way to fucking shit on Jews again, and that's all you do. I don't know if you were molested by a rabbi.

I don't know if you're a accountant. You're one of the sub-burders of America. Anti-Christian, anti-white Jews. Why don't you call them out, boomer cuck? I have, stupid. Why don't you listen? They don't. You're just a shill. What?

They own the comedy club. You're a fucking... Shut the fuck up. I have, stupid. Why don't you listen? What? You're a fucking... Shut the fuck up. I'm doing a show from my basement, you moron. Do I really give a shit about Hollywood? You stupid fuck. What are you talking... My agent's not a Jew. His name's Tommy Nicky, you asshole.

He's a Sicilian. Oh, you're a... yeah you want to get on joe rogan you know if you criticize jew he ain't gonna let you on you want to get on dave rubin if he if you criticize you are so fucking ignorant i go after both sides you're a fucking anti-semite you're an anti-semite you're an ignorant fuck i don't like and i don't like radical islam no you, I'm giving you, Kev, I put you on because I know what's coming and I still put you on, so. What do you mean? Hey, Kev,

Kev, listen to me. Kev, listen to me, Kev. You know what Patreon, you know the Patreon, the platform I'm on? It's run by left-wing Marxists. Are they paying my bills? So what are you talking about? Comedy clubs aren't Hollywood.

You got to read up, stupid. Call back, though. Yeah, I don't go after, I don't go after fucking Islam. I've gotten in trouble for it. I've got fucking letters from comedy clubs. You don't know what you're talking about. Ha!

Man, does he hate Jews. What the hell happened to him? That he hit what in God's name? I wish I could be as passionate about anything as he is. And when I say God's name, I mean Noah. He fucking hates them. And I just made an anti-Semitic joke. Whatever. You get fucked over by your accountant. Does that sound like I'm afraid of Jews? Out of all the comics on the planet, you stupid fuck. I'm the last guy you should be saying that to.

How about this joke from my act, dummy? Are you listening, Kev? How about this joke that I did 20 years ago in LA in front of an industry audience? How about this one? When I say, I said, I say to my friends, I think the Jews run Hollywood and they go, why do you think that, Nick? And you can look it up on one of my albums. And I said, you ever read the credits after a sitcom? It's like Schindler's List. look it up on one of my albums. And I said, you ever read the credits after a sitcom? It's like Schindler's List. By the way, it was used a couple of years later on Will and Grace. Somebody lifted it because they saw me at the comedy store. Does that sound like I'm afraid of the Jews that run the business, Kevin, you dummy? I want you to find me another comic that said anything even close to

that. You know who laughed hard at? My Jewish acting teacher. But comic that said anything even close to that. You know who laughed hard at? My Jewish acting teacher. But then he said, don't do that joke. And I said, fuck you. He was from Brooklyn. So you couldn't be more wrong. You're just blinded by your hatred.

Thank you for calling and may you get all kinds of ass cancer. And when you go under the knife, I hope it's Dr. Saul Rabinowitz. I put him on anyways, folks. I know it's coming. Phillip in Richmond, Virginia wants to talk about the thick-ankled dog face. Phillip, go ahead. Hey, Nick. Yeah. Yeah, I heard.

I was going back through one of your older videos, and you were talking about her life alert, her life alert necklace that you were talking about she might have. No. You were like, I hope she doesn't go peacefully. Oh, no, no, that's different than the last. I was talking, yeah, no, I said I pray that we read, it's in my special that will be coming out soon. I said I'd love to wake up and read that Hillary passed away in her sleep, but not peacefully. The first responders found blood and excrement on the ceiling, on the bathroom mirror, a wig on the rug, false teeth on the end of her bed. And Bill was downstairs and his wife beat her going going i don't happen to hurt a thump

the fat bitch fell out of bed look i gotta go finger pop a hop waitress could you get one of the pedestals to clean this shit up that's the bit yeah yeah it's like i'll probably watch that like probably three or four times i'll crack it up i don't know what you're watching it on i i haven't done that joke in public yet it It's going to be on the next special. Oh, I watched it on... I think it was one of your very beginning episodes. I think it was... Oh, of this show you mean? It was one of your...

Yeah, on this show. Oh, okay. I might have done it on this show. Yeah, that'll definitely kill if you use that one. That was pretty good. Anything else, Phil? Yeah, I mean, I'm not real surprised. I mean, I always kind of felt that way of the Obama administration. I think everything, I think until Trump arrived,

I actually don't think they even realized that everybody was just so confident that she was going to get it. It was in the bag. I mean, they basically just nosed Bernie Sanders over and fucked him out of his seat. Well, he was he was the one that actually went. They probably if they would have left him be, they probably would have been a lot closer to what their end goal is, which is to get us to be socialist and be a global like with the global you know community of this world like they want to go to globalism that's what well yeah yeah so they would have been far more closer when you say they who are you talking about when you say they uh the democrats but but that's not what i'm but that's that's not what i'm talking about here phil

i'm talking about the department of justice under Obama telling the FBI not to charge her with. Yeah. So it goes deeper than. Yeah. All right, Phil. Thank you for the call. I appreciate it. Susan in New Jersey.

Always like to have a woman on. Susan, height, weight and bra size, please. I ain't going there. What's up? Yeah, you know what I wanted to talk about? I watched both CNN and Fox after the Charlottesville incident. Yeah. And CNN edited the tape they showed of Trump coming down the escalator.

They edited it out when Trump said, I don't equate both sides. This is before we knew Antifa was so radical. And Fox showed the whole tape. And Trump definitely said, I don't equate both sides. CNN edited it out. And for 24 hours, they had talking heads talking about how Trump equates both sides, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it was just – I knew media was slanted, but it really was upsetting to see it so blatant. And since then, I haven't been able to find that tape anywhere on the internet.

I've been looking for this. Yeah, and you won't because the the internet is as left as cnn and uh but i i do remember that too but i remember him that day saying i'm sure there's fine people on both sides and knowing what he was talking about because not everybody at that rally that turned into a riot was there for violence and shit they i knew exactly what he was saying. And it just surprises me how sloppy the Trump administration handled that. Because it really gets brought up every day, even today.

Hey, thank you for the call, Susan. I've got to move along. Was that a Susan? Was that a woman? Yes. Twelve packs a day? Did that sound like a woman to you? Yes. It did? Yes.

You guys, I don't know who you're hanging out with. I don't, Ryan, I know who you're hanging out with. All the women sound like that. You meet behind a dumpster for 11 bucks on Sunset Boulevard. How you doing? My name's Kathleen. Can I give you a handjob, you filthy little girl? I'm very familiar.

little girl. I'm very familiar. Anyways, hey, Mayor de Blasio, you talk about a jack-off plus extraordinaire. New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio forces schools to adopt Meatless Monday. So what, is it just all lesbians go to school on that day? Jason, are you with me? I know that it's a little much. Meatless Monday, school lunches to combat climate change. That's his fucking big idea. Ugh, I hate this guy so much. Let's hope so. de Blasio announced the schools would be barred from serving meat as part of the school lunch on Mondays throughout the school year.

The New York City mayor hoped it would help the future of the planet and the New York public school students. Of course he does, but that's not his real fucking goal. I'll get to that. Too bad that hand he has right there isn't a gun. Too bad that right hand he has to his temple isn't a Glock. Finish the job, you asshole. And I better not see you come as close,

one inch to a bologna sandwich for the rest of your term. Or a sausage. Or see you at Burger King, you phony fuck. By the way, his wife looks like a point guard for St. John's. What an ass.

I know people saying, well, you know, you can just have a you can put, you know, if your kid wants meat on you know you can just have a you can put you know if your kid wants meat on monday you can make him a fucking ham sandwich not the point he's imposing his fucking view of the world and he's lying about it it's really about climate change and all that shit um but uh you remember michelle obama tried the same thing she wanted to replace the you know the candy bars with fucking holistic mushrooms and breast milk and the vending machines in high school. And do you remember what happened?

The kids hated the fucking food. They replaced pizza with like fucking, you know, broccoli and quiche and shit. The kids were throwing it away at an alarming rate. And the point being is shut your mouth. We'll put in our mouths what we want, when we want, and it's up to us. According to a report from Political, de Blasio pointed to greenhouse emissions as the main reason he wanted to pursue school lunches. Cutting back on meat a little will improve New York's health and reduce greenhouse gas emissions, he says,

as he spewed hot gas from his dirty teeth. gas emissions, he says, as he spewed hot gas from his dirty teeth. The city claims the change is cost neutral and won't be enforced until the next school year. Yeah, we'll believe that, too. The decision from de Blasio came on the heels of the grand unveiling of the Green New Deal from his fellow torpid, stupid Democrat rep Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, in a Green New Deal resolution fact sheet, Ocasio-Cortez listed the prevention of cow farts as one of the more important goals of the fucking deal.

So I'll tell you why that's going to be debunked in the fucking next... That cow has a toilet. Next. That cow has a toilet. Cows have been in the environmentalist crosshairs ever since it became clear they admit methane when they pass gas or burp. Methane is a particularly large contributor towards global warming, which is why some environmentalists would like to see meat consumption drop in the U.S. But let me give you the real debunking of the fucking myth of climate change. Not a myth. I believe we're warming up, but I just don't believe Miami is going to be underwater in 10 minutes,

like Gore said 15 years ago, and it's not. And the urgency is all false and shit. It's going to go up a degree in the next 150 years, so I'm not exactly going to put on my shorts tonight. Okay, dick cheese? Here's an interesting article from somebody who knows all about this, a farmer. This article is written by Elliot Coleman. Elliot Coleman is one of the most revered influential small—oh, he's the farmer, Elliot Coleman, excuse me. Elliot Coleman is one of the most revered influential small-scale farmers in the United States.

Elliot sent me the following letter as a response to my recent piece on the greenhouse gas footprint of industrial meat. I'm going to give you the gist of it. This is coming from a farmer. He says the culprit is not meat eating, but rather the excess of corporate slash industrial agriculture. eating, but rather the excess of corporate slash industrial agriculture. The UN report shows either great ignorance or possibly the influence of the fossil fuel lobby with the intent of confusing the public. It is obviously to someone's benefit to make meat eating and livestock raising an easily attacked straw man in order to cover up the singular contribution of the only new sources of carbon, burning the stored

carbon in fossil fuels and to a small extent making cement, both of which release carbon from long-term stores, as the reasons for the increased greenhouse gases in the modern era. Now, you can agree with that or not, but he gives a little example. He says, just for ridiculous comparison, a human being, each exhaling about one kilogram of CO2 per day, are responsible for 33% more CO2 per year than fossil fuel transportation. He says, if I butcher a stair for my food, and that stair has been raised on grass on my farm, I am not responsible for any increased CO2. The pasture-raised animal eating grass, by the way, CO2 comes off plant life, off trees and off grass.

You understand that, right? Couldn't live without it. The pasture-raised animal eating grass in my field is not producing CO2, merely recycling it. Short term carbon cycle as grazing animals. And they have been doing that since they evolved.

Do you get it? So the CO2 coming off the grass, the fucking cow is eating it. And he says, he goes on to say, I'll put it in simple terms, what happens is, it's not meat eating that is responsible for increased greenhouse gas. It's the corn-slash-soybean-slash-chemical-fertilizer-slash-feedlot transportation system under which industrial animals are raised.

So big businesses got into farms, you know, and like anything else, right, they have to produce more cows and faster and shit. So they feed them artificial stuff, like anything else, right, they have to produce more cows and faster and shit. So they feed them artificial stuff, like not grass, and they fertilize the fields with artificial shit. The cow eats it, and it's like me when I have a piece of cheese, I'm lactose intolerant. Next thing you know, he's playing the trumpet out his ass, like Duke Ellington. See, it all makes sense when you talk to somebody who knows what they're talking about. It makes sense when you talk to somebody who knows what they're talking about. By comparison with my grass-fed steer, the soybeans cultivated for a vegetarian's dinner,

if done with motorized equipment, are responsible for increased CO2, not the cow's farts. But what about the methane in all the cattle flatulence? Excess flatulence is also a function of an unnatural diet. Like I said, like me drinking milk or dousing my scrambled eggs with Tabasco or eating hot peppers. At this point, I have a chiclet and I'm farting. There's nothing I can eat. I have trouble with bread now. Like I said in one of my specials,

I'm down to Skittles and pussy. Let's say Skittles. But listen to this. Here's the question that I loved. If cattle flat lines on a natural grazing diet were a problem, heat would have been trapped a thousand years ago when, for example, there were 70 million buffalo in North America, not to mention innumerable deer, antelope, moose, elk, caribou, and so on,

all eating vegetation and, in turn, being eaten by Native Americans, wolves, mountain lions, etc. Did the methane from their digestion and the nitrous oxide from their shit, he says manure, did the temperatures rise because of that? Ryan, come on, you know the answer. You've been on the planet for almost 11 minutes. It's because they be eating the grains. They farm more. That's right, motherfucker.

Same with me. They need to eat whole grain. Hell yeah. We've got to make gluten-free fucking cows. But he's right. But, you know, the fossil fuels and shit, you know, we'll get off them in time. But we can't do it the next 12 years like the titless wonder says. AOC. I mean, what if I want a vacation in Hawaii? Take a train out there? I don't know.

Anyways, he makes great arguments. He says, and if we're not using some 90 megatons of nitrogen fertilizer per year, that's what the corporate farming does, would we even be discussing the issue? I'm sorry, the guy seems to be right on the goddamn money with that. I don't, look, I don't mind, you know, but don't, I, there's some weeks I try to go with these vegetables and stuff. And I understand that. But don't, you know, a few years ago, my friends would go, I don't eat meat anymore. I'm a vegetarian. But they would say it with such pride.

And I would say, well, congratulations. You're going to live a year longer than me and spending it in the bathroom taking a nice runny dump. So enjoy. Enjoy your cake. Enjoy your cake. Enjoy your soybeans. Tim in North Carolina, he has the perfect solution for people who think human beings are screwing up the climate. What would that be, Tim? Mass suicide, Timmy? How are you doing? Well, actually, God damn it, you stole my idea.

If you ever want to get in a debate with an environmentalist who claims that you've been for causing all this bullshit, just tell him, be the example. Just go and get your buddies together and agree with you and go kill yourself. I don't mean that

sarcastically. I don't want people to kill themselves. You know what I'm talking about. Why I don't want people to kill themselves. You know what I'm talking about. Why don't you want people to kill themselves? I kind of, I look for those videos online at three in the morning. Yeah, suicide's bad, but that's the thing. It's just like, you know, they like to talk about how bad human beings are to the planet, but it's just like, all right, well, we're so bad,

and you think that humanity is so bad, then why don't you lead by example? And I mean that sarcastically, of course, because it sounds like a crack. I don't like your sarcasm. I think you should mean it literally. I enjoy people that, like, stick to their gut. Thanks, Timmy. Not all people are vegetarians or vegans say that, you know, fucking, you know, we have to get less. That's what AIDS is for and diseases and Ebola and shit.

It is. What do you think? The plague and shit. Every couple centuries, something comes along, thins out the herd. I remember when I was living in L.A., dealing with that traffic every day. I was on stage at the comedy store and AIDS was sort of, you know, peaking at the time. And I said, I hope it picks up even further, you know, so I can get at the comedy store, and AIDS was sort of, you know, peaking at the time. And I said, I hope it picks up even further, you know, so I can get to the comedy store. It doesn't take me two and a half hours, and I live 20 minutes away.

The Tide Pod Challenge was great. Yeah, that's relevant to what we're talking about. I appreciate it. No, yeah, exactly. Tide Pod's a good example of thinning out the herd. And that's vegetarian. No meat in them. Do they make meatless Tide now? My mother used to wash my pants in gravy and Clorox. But the point is, de Blasio knows best for you,

and don't tell me him and his fucking wife aren't sitting home right now biting into a giant cheese. When he runs for president, he goes to Philadelphia. What's he going to have, a soybean sandwich? Or is he going to eat a cheesesteak from Pat's? Mind your business, de Blasio.

And it's got nothing to do with climate change. You're imposing your will on people. I'm so tired of you. I've had a Pat's cheesesteak. Congratulations. You and 70 trillion other people this week. Best sandwich ever. Aw, Geno's is right up there.

Have you had Geno's? Nope. I don't know the difference. I've had both. I just love a good cheesesteak. Hey, real quick dates, folks. Friday, March 29th, I'm at the Decatur Civic Center, Decatur, Illinois. Saturday, March 30th, Del Mar Hall, St. Louis, Missouri.

Friday, April 26th, Steel Stacks, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I love that gig. Friday and Saturday, May 3rd and 4th Sidesplitters Tampa with my buddy Bobby Jewell Friday and Saturday, May 10th and 11th The Governors in Levittown, New York Friday, May 34th, Jonathan's in Agunquit, Maine Saturday, June 1st, Whites of Westport, Westport, Mass Saturday, August 10th, the Newtown Theater

Newtown, Pennsylvania Friday and Saturday, August 16th and 17th Helium in Philadelphia Helium Comedy Club, great club. Saturday, October 19th, Ridgefield Playhouse, Ridgefield, Connecticut. Friday, November 15th, the Cortland Repertory Theater, Cortland, New York. I love gigs like that.

I'll pass three alpaca farms on the way to the club. Then New Year's Eve, back at the Tarrytown Music Hall. Tarrytown, New York. Hey, here's a guy I kind of like for the wrong reasons. Oh, let's go to Nicky in Vegas. I cannot take it. When I hear Nicky in Vegas, I think of Nicky Santoro from Casino. I picture Nicky here stabbing somebody in the neck with a pen.

What's up, Nick? Great skies are going to clear up. Put on a happy face. Rush off the clouds and cheer up. Put on a happy face brush off the clouds and cheer up put on a happy face take off the gloomy mask of tragedy

it's not your style you look so good that you'll be glad you decided to smile I love this show. You're fucking crazy. No, I'm not. What the fuck was I talking about?

The Filipino president. The Filipino president. No, but I had something else to say. He knocked the right... Oh, let's play that song. Let's play a song. Who sent this to us? Siggy Sauer. Siggy Sauer.

Siggy Sauer. He's a regular fan of the Nick DePaul show and a musician. He put together this little ditty. Let's sit back and listen. Oh my God. That's homophobic. Good!

Good! Good! Like a bag of balls! Good! Like a bag of balls! What do you want, Pete Holmes? Somebody breaks into your apartment? Pete Holmes gonna defend you? Or fucking Judd Apatow?

Is he gonna... Guy couldn't change a flat fucking tire. Do they make tits that look like they're in the 70s? You know, red tits that are wrinkled and sagalith. What a dumb little girl with a giant tit. What a dumb little girl with a giant tit. mail a letter yesterday. He goes, I've never mailed a letter. I wrote with email.

I've never had to mail anything. Oh, sock, sock, sock, sock, sock. Oh, sock, knock, knock, knock, knock. Good, good, good, good, good, good. Damn. This is how spoiled these whores are. Somebody show me a pretty feminist, please.

This is how spoiled these whores are. And fucking Hillary. I am not going to sleep till that fucking... This is how spoiled these whores are. He fucking hates whitey.

This dirty jerk prick. This is how spoiled these whores are. Ha ha. He fucking hates whiting. This dirty jerk prick. This is how spoiled these whores are. Da da da da. Da da da da. What the fuck? Good! Lick a bag of balls!

I love the twanks, by the way. And don't be blaming him for all the shit. Yeah! What was the guy's name again? Siggy Sauer. Siggy Sauer laying it down It's the new joint He'll be dropping that motherfucker on April 23rd Death row wreckage bitch

How about this Here's a guy after my own heart Rodrigo Duarte You know who he is. He's the president of the Philippines. Addressed a group of female law enforcement army officers with the term puta, which translates to bitch. At an event meant to honor them on Monday. You fat, nasty, black bitch. an event meant to honor them on Monday. Presenting to a group of almost all females at the Outstanding Puta Award,

no, Outstanding Women in Law Enforcement. Imagine this, it wasn't just women, it was law enforcement. In National Security of the Philippines event, the president of the Philippines also called the group, you crazy women. Well, good for him. You're fucking crazy. Duarte reportedly told the group that women are depriving me of my freedom of expression. And you know what?

Oh, there he is. He's doing all right. Excuse me. I agree with him on the part about shutting down his right to free speech, sort of like the feminists do in this country. You're talking about women, we're down to like three words, right? He says, I love women, according to The Guardian. That's why you see I have two wives.

That means I like women. Does he have two wives? Does that mean he's got one divorced ex? See if you can find that out. Or does he have two? Yeah, he was divorced. I don't see why. He seems like a nice fellow.

He's calling women in law enforcement bitch. Can you imagine? Can you imagine a president, any president in this country saying that? Trump speaking to a bunch of cops. I like you guys doing a great job. And by guys, I mean guys, not you broads. I've looked at the statistics. Every male cop that got shot this year had a female partner.

But besides that, I like you. I fucked two porn stars and I'm in a lawsuit, so it proves I like women. You crazy bitches. Duarte caused controversy last week when he said women should stay away from Catholic priests because of the scent of your body. Why do they smell like altar boys or Cub Scouts? Why do they smell like altar boys or Cub Scouts? At Monday's event, I'm wearing a touch of Jerry Sandusky behind my right ear, said Michael. At Monday's event, he revisited his earlier comments saying women are rejects of priests.

Jason, you're smarter than me. What does that mean? Priests don't like women? Priests reject them, right? Yeah. Is that what he meant? I think so. He said rejects.

Maybe the guy's not that smart, but he had a Filipino sitting on his lap like that. I wonder who's more popular, him or Pacquiao. That's Pacquiao's wife, isn't it? They just asked him, how many wives do you have? And she answered for him. That's his lawyer. Look at the fucking nose on him.

Holy moly. He's got George Foreman's nose. That's how he smelled that they were bad for priests. Oh, my God. Jason landing a body blow. Not bad. Not bad at all. But to call them crazy bitches,

and not just over here, you know, they are crazy. But most of the women over here, I'd like to know what percentage are U.S. female cops or lesbians. I watch cops at night and those shows, and holy Christ. You know?

Every one of them looks like fucking Julian Edelman or... I can't tell. I want to meet this woman though before I die. Authorities say a Slovenian woman who deliberately cut off her hand with a circular saw to collect insurance money faces up to eight years in jail.

That is a tough broad. I mean, I do this. I flicked my wife's back of her arm and she actually cried. I see my wife bang her elbow on a piece of furniture by accident and tears come up. This bitch takes a circular saw. That's the broad I want giving me a tug. You know what I'm saying?

The 21-year-old. She's 21. She's probably not good in bed, huh? You're like, honey, can you move your leg? Stick it into my right. Move it. I'll fucking break it off.

21-year-old woman helped by her relatives. How do your relatives help? She hoped to claim nearly $451,000 in insurance payments. The unidentified woman claimed she had been

cutting tree branches with a circular saw. What the fuck? When she severed her left hand just above the rich, actually. hand just above the rich, actually. Come down from there, Diane. Diane, get...

Billy, get mommy's hand. It's in the pile of leaves. Oh, my God. Listen to this, though. This is how stupid. The officials say the family members left the severed hand behind rather than bring it to the hospital to ensure the disability was permanent. But the doctors recovered it like a loose ball on the two-yard line with a minute left. They recovered it and they sewed it back up. I wonder if she was fighting them. They're trying to sit still. Fuck you. I don't want that hand.

They're standing on her arm. Police say the incident happened earlier this year after the family had signed insurance contracts with five different insurance companies. Police say there was no payment because they discovered the fraud in time. I mean, aren't there other ways? You slip in a, I don't know, you have a fake car accident, have your buddy hit you from behind, you film it, and you pay him, or whatever. Do a slip and fall, or whatever the... I mean, aren't there less painful ways than actually going through? Jason, your thoughts?

I think she just had a power tool kink. That's true. Maybe she got off on that type of shit. Maybe we're not getting a real story. Maybe she's a real asshole and her husband did her husband did it and said listen if you rat on me, I'll cut your other hand up Now if this went on in the Middle East, I mean they do this you get caught shoplifting gum. You ever see those videos? Have you ever gone online and watched they saw? Yeah. Have you really Ryan? I've watched the Mexican drug cartel chainsaw somebody to death I Have you really, Ryan? I've watched the Mexican drug cartel chainsaw somebody to death. I was going to make a joke, but Tony Montana's cute. But yeah, no, I watched it over in Africa. I think it was part of the Faces of Death.

No, there was some tape called Extreme Punishment Across the World. I only watched about eight minutes of it. It was so disturbing. But they have this guy tied up, you know, his legs and arms. Guy comes over just like a knife you'd use on Thanksgiving and saws his frigging hand off, and they wrap it with like gauze and shit. Yeah, could you put some Acura Chrome on that? I don't want to get infected.

Yeah, the circular saw sounds like a luxury at that point. At that point, as opposed to some guy some guy going hey look what I got here I saw this on an infomercial cut through coke cans in Nigerian shop lift his forearms oh my god it was sickening and another guy another guy they tied

between cars they tied ropes to his arms and shit and fucking pulled him apart I want to try that someday tied ropes to his arms and shit and fucking pulled him apart. I want to try that someday with my dog when it starts shitting in the kitchen. Oh, I'm kidding, everybody. I wouldn't do that. This bitch shot her own hand off.

There's other ways of getting money. Here's my favorite story of the day. Ten Colorado counties declare sanctuary status against gun confiscation law. I'm starting to like the state of Colorado. Now you get everybody high on weed and it's a sanctuary city for people who love their guns so you can hold up a fucking dealer.

You know what I mean? Even if you get in a gunfight with a dealer, who's going to be quicker to the draw? Some dude who just had a fucking nickel bag or myself who had three cups of Sanka. Listen to this. I love it because you know what? The Dems are getting a taste of their own money.

You know with the sanctuary cities and whatnot. Oh, it's much safer. The Kremlin. Well, I'll tell you why this is coming about on march 8th 2019 bright news reported that eight counties had made sanctuary declarations in colorado i won't mention them all but the last one prowess county commissioners declared their county a second amendment sanctuary uh on uh on monday so don't you move, you motherfucker. I'll blow your brains out. Prowess County Commissioner Wendy Buxton-Andrade said,

We are elected officials. We are sworn to protect the United States Constitution. In passing this resolution, we are protecting that right and protecting our constituents from those trying to take away that constitutional right, the Second Amendment. And I'm not a fucking huge gun guy, but I'm with that. You know what Hitler did and every other fucking tyrant? They took the people's weapons away.

The Gazette reports the El Paso County commissioners declared their county a sanctuary as well. Counties, listen to this. Counties are making these Second Amendment declarations as state-level democrats push who else a bill known as the red flag bill which would allow a judge to order the confiscation of firearms from someone found to be a danger to themselves or others and that's just getting their foot in the door it's a slippery slope it's not going to stop there. And who decides whether you're a Dane? It's like hate speech on the internet. Who are we going to let

fucking media matters decide what's hateful? The fucking ACLU or the Southern Poverty Laws. Who's going to decide? So they're getting their foot in the door. And I love this. This is fighting fire with fire. But there is that other thing. If we start doing with all these laws,

now both sides are ignoring the fucking rule of making the wrong rules. Good. I say, you know, I say good. If it brings this fucking heated fucking discussion we have in this country to a head and we can get down to real violence and solve it, I'm on the side with the people in Colorado

and the guns. But now you people are saying, well, the red flag law, that makes sense because, you know, people are dangerous and they'll shoot up a school. Well, California's had a red flag law. It did nothing to stop the November 7th, 2018 shooting

at the Borderline Bar and Grill. Twelve innocents were killed. We've already forgot about that. It's like a minor car crash. Florida has a red flag law. It did not prevent the August 26, 2018 shooting at Jacksonville Landing, in which three innocents were killed. Florida's law also failed to prevent the January 23, 2019 SunTrust Bank attack,

which was just a couple months ago in Sebring, where five innocents were shot to death. Illinois also has a red flag law, but it did not prevent the February 15, 2019 attack on the Henry Pratt Company in which five innocent people were killed. We've already had a couple mass shootings this year. What are we, in the middle of March? And those states had red flag law and they didn't work. Okay? So they're coming for your guns. had red flag law and they didn't work.

Okay? So they're coming for your guns. Many in Colorado who oppose the Democrats' red flag push believe the law would succeed in allowing the confiscation of firearms from law-abiding citizens without any real due process. I tend to agree. I got to get this guy on the show.

A.W.R. Hawkins? I actually, on my old podcast on my radio show he called in and we used to text each other and shit he covers the you know second amendment and stuff and uh for bright bar but tucker carlson who you know has been under fire for saying some naughty stuff about women 10 years ago he's the sharpest attack on pretty much everything but uh i remember saying this sounds familiar and this is what he said when uh the dems are all high and mighty on sanctuary cities here's a clip what if a conservative judge halted funding for i don't know planned parenthood or placed an immediate injunction on every existing gun regulation you

might like that i might too but you can see why it's a road you don't want to go down. Exactly. So part of me is like, good, because I believe fighting fire with fire. You can't just let them run away with this stupidity because they will. If you guys don't know what the Democratic Party stands for at this point, I don't know what to fucking tell you. It's all about power grab. They're shutting down your free speech. You can't fucking argue that. You know, they don't want people like Milo speaking on college campuses or any conservatives. Okay. And something like this is just the beginning of coming after your guns. Am I exaggerating? I don't fucking think so. But like I said, the other slippery slope is

if both sides start doing this going, I don't care what the Constitution says, I'm passing this state level, blah, blah. It could get messy, but maybe that's what it's going to take for this country to either balkanize or to have a nice civil war. I'll be watching it on my couch. I don't like participating in outdoor activities anymore. You guys all right with that? Anyhow, I thought that was pretty prescient of Tucker, actually. I didn't get to this yesterday.

Real quick, final story of the day. A main man, man, man, man, angry at Google because, again, this is a fighting with fire type thing because his YouTube channel was shut down, was busted in California with baseball bats in his car. So he's into high tech weapons. One of them had a scope on it. one of them had a scope on it they were aluminum he's really he had a bunch of bats in his car while on his way to Google's headquarters

and I kind of admire this guy I'm not condoning violence where's my bat police arrested Kyle Long. Hey, you know what? Howie Long has a son, Kyle. On Sunday afternoon, Mountain View, California, with three baseball bats in his car and his navigation set to Google headquarters. I had a cop bust my balls in high school. I get pulled over for speeding and I had a baseball bat. What's that for? I said baseball.

Because it was. Well, to be honest, there was a little bit of blood on it and some rabbit fur. This is a true story. My grandmother used to kill rabbits. One of them got out. She took my fucking bat

and fucking cracked one. And that wasn't the one that had the... But when I was in Little little league i got to the park and it was an adirondack aluminum bat i take it out out of the by fucking and there was blood and a little bit of fur i'm in the on deck circle i look like a haitian doing some ritual licking the fucking fur off the bat same happened to me with the cop you had had a weapon in your car? I had a baseball bat in my trunk and he was like, why do you have a baseball bat in your trunk

when I got pulled over for a speeding ticket? And you said, I play baseball. And he goes, no, you don't. You're a big girl. No, I take my sister's lullaby games. Oh, it wasn't even your bat?

It was her bat, yeah. Is she gay, the little girl? No. I'm kidding. I'm sure she's a fine young fellow i uh iowa state police were first alerted to long's bizarre behavior on friday when he told troopers he was on his way to the company's flagship location in mountain view to meet with google i'm sure he had an appointment after his youtube channel had been shut down which he claimed was resulting uh in him losing money

according to the facebook post well Well, he looks fine. Nice little Amish kid who just did a nice, he's blowing out some meth smoke right there. And he's a man of action. Let this be a warning to you high tech guys. Seriously, I'm not condoning violence, but here's my rule. Maybe this is the Guinea in me. When you fuck with somebody's livelihood,

I don't know if that's the case or not here. I don't know if the guy doesn't look like he's a millionaire. But when you start fucking with somebody's livelihood like they did Gavin McGinn, whatever, shutting people down, all bets are off the table.

And that's the grease ball coming out of me. If you were working in a machine shop, you came in the next day and your tools are missing and you look over and a guy, you know, on the lathe has your wrench, you're not going to go over and fucking bitch slap him? No, no, we don't do that today.

We get lawyers. Fuck that. Hit him with a quarter inch piece of stock when he's reaching for his coffee. You are correct, sir. Iowa police encountered him twice that day once during a car crash jesus this guy's out of control later when he allegedly vandalized a restroom at a gas station store you know when i look to vandalize a place i'm thinking the shithouse at fucking sinoco

what did he get out what what are you getting he got away with a fucking three dollar plunger and a bag of skittles that he found in the trash why would you vandalize a bath this guy is nuts on second hand i'm rethinking this track him down then on sunday mountain view cops heard from maine's waterville police department they had received information that long was not only in California, but he had stated if his meeting with Google personnel did not go well, he was going to resort to physical violence. I'm not going to judge either way.

I'm going to fucking smash his fucking face in. Long was arrested shortly thereafter when he vandalized an Arby's bathroom looking for meat patties. Long was arrested shortly thereafter with bats in his car. He was charged with making criminal threats and imitating a criminal. He's being held on 25 large, as they say in the Guinea population.

We should check on his status, too. But if you're fucking with the guys live, again, I'm not condoning it, but I'm just saying i'm just zuckerberg and you guys and and and the rest of the google people pinch high and you better watch your fucking backs you better watch it that's not for i'm happy where i am i'm doing just fine i cleared 11.23 this week doing this so you won't see me driving out there with a bat i have a nice crossbow with a poison dart on the end of it.

It's got Hillary's name on it. I won't say which Hillary. See, I just covered myself legally. I'm a genius. Anyways, that's the show, folks. Thank you so much. Oh, we have super chats. Yes, we do.

Great. You might want to throw us in during the show. Go ahead, because if they suck, we go off on a low note. But go ahead, Ryan. All right, 60 FPS Gaming says, is it true the BOC guitarist made your theme song? The BOC?

Blue Oyster Cult. Yes. I never thought of him as BOC. BTO. Yes. Richie Castellano wrote that. And go online. This guy's an unbelievable fucking musician.

He did a cover of Bohemian Rhapsody. He told me it took him six months to put together. He plays. He's the vocals. He plays all the instruments in it. He is a serious talent. He said to me, what do you like? I sent them music.

Of course, I have the music taste of an eighth grader in 1983. I sent them like Pat Travis, fucking Nugent, Stevie Ray Vaughan, some skin, and he banged that out. And I can't thank him enough. I should get him in here. Blue Oyster Cult, man. Don't fear the fucking Reaper. Come on. That was my theme song when I was trying to finger pop Fat Girls.

Go ahead. Reality Nonfiction says, that nose, referring to Duerte, gets all the CO2. Allah Christ. It's actually a great point. We could blame a little bit on him. How about him calling women crazy bitches in law enforcement? Bunny Galore says that puta actually means tramp. Well, I disagree with Bunny.

What do you know, Bunny? I've lived on the streets. I've lived in a barrio. Put actually means tramp. Well, I disagree with Bunny. What do you know, Bunny? I've lived on the streets. I lived in a barrio. Puta means bitch. And I know that George, I'm sure it means what she says too, but George Lopez uses it like every joke when he's talking about white people.

So I'm going with bitch. But what did you say, Matt? Tramp. Oh, big difference. My bartender used to call me a puta. Yeah, you're not, tramp. Oh, big difference. My bartender used to call me a puta. Yeah, you're not a tramp. You're a bitch. I never got my tips with him.

Can we end on that? Anything else? That is all. We good. All right, kids. Remember the last 30 years you guys have been thanking it. I've been saying it.

I've paid the price. I think it's nicked it. Real quick. Fucking Jesus, Ryan. Just a second. Just a second. The Real Bambunga donated 50. Real Bambunga donated 50.

Real Bambunga, and I apologize for snapping. I could use the 50 to pay for this pair of shoes that you guys saw me modeling in the cold open. He says, can we donate to Billy Batts' bail fund? Why did you read his amount? Because when it's really big, we usually... No, three figures. All right. Isn't that the rule?

Jason, help me. He's done three figures before. I know that. Okay, whatever. Okay, 50 is the minimum. Jesus Christ. I had a nice close. I was going to wrap it up tight.

But you know what? I'm glad you threw that in there. I'm sure I wouldn't have got the money anyway. What's his name again? The Real Bambunga. The Real Bambunga. The Real Bambunga, thank you so much. That's a generous contribution.

I will see you guys tomorrow. If you're on Patreon, you should be. Go to nickdip.com. Don't forget cameo.com. Go there, click on my, and I will roast friends of yours,

or enemies of yours, or I'll be nice. I'll tell your girlfriend her tits are lopsided, or you don't like her fucking hairy earlobes, or I'll tell your boyfriend that he's hung like a fucking Flintstone chewable. Cameo.com. I will talk to you guys tomorrow. And we got a show on Friday.

Boy, I'm going to fucking crack your head. Was that necessary? I'm trying to get off the air, Ryan! Ha ha ha! Bye, everybody. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 ¶¶ ¶¶ We'll see you next time.