The Nick DiPaolo Show - Obama's Ukraine Coup? | Nick Di Paolo Show #672
Episode Date: March 7, 2022Obama's Ukraine Coup? Ukraine/US bio weapons? AMMO Inc. to send rounds to Ukraine. Mystal slams Biden on View. FL fires racist police chief....
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You guys make it happen. guitar solo Hi.
Hi.
As Zook used to say sometimes, like a big girl, hi.
Had his brother to my house, his older brother Peter,
who's the most fascinating,
I always call him the Dos Equis guy, because he's just, he's like a man of international
intrigue.
I think I've mentioned him on the show before, he'll call us like on a Wednesday, where are
you?
I'm in Libya.
What?
Next night he's calling from a cafe in Tel Aviv.
I go, what's he do?
So it goes, I lost track a long time ago. I'm not even sure. Just a fucking brilliant dude. He was on 60 Minutes being questioned about the big dig in Boston. I mean, he takes home. He's huge. Like now he's rebuilding Buffalo. All the infrastructure. So anyways, he came yesterday,
and he's just so friggin' smart.
And just like Zuck, he's likable.
And God, I had a good two-hour talk with him.
So anyway, and his nephew, Zuck's nephew, Andy,
who's about 42 years old,
who I've only met a couple times,
stayed at our house because he had to go down to the...
Anyway, and he, another Zook, they got that Russian smarts.
He was going to be a doctor, but he got bored with it.
He saw how the health insurance companies were making medical decisions they shouldn't, so he's like, fuck this.
I think I'll dabble in computers.
You know, and you know this, Dallas, being a movie guy, you people, and I might have
explained, I don't know, when you're shooting a film, you have something called dailies,
so you can watch what you did that day, whatever the fuck.
You know, Disney does this, all the big studios, and it's very important, and what happens
is sometimes people hack the shit, if it's online, or whatever the fuck.
Well, Andy, so it's not you came up
with a way to prevent that. And, you know, Disney was courting him for it. I go, what the fuck?
And to add on to that, after he got out of college, he was telling me he was out in Northern
California working with some computer company, gets bored with it, but he plays electric guitar.
working for some computer company, gets bored with it.
But he plays electric guitar.
So him and his buddy would fuck around,
and they knew somebody in L.A. who hooked them up for a couple gigs on Sunset Strip, small places.
So they did that for a couple.
Next thing they get a following,
they get their own night at the fucking Rainbow Room on Sunset Strip,
which means you have a following.
And he said, we were just
fucking around, and people were
coming out in droves. So the
second drummer for, I hope he
doesn't mind I'm spilling the beans here, the second
drummer for Guns N' Roses
offers them, like,
the drummer started his own record label
and wanted to sign Andy and this
guy.
And Andy goes, I don't see myself doing this for the next...
The drummer's like, are you fucking kidding me?
Everybody on this street wants a deal I just saw.
What?
I go, what are you, a renaissance man?
I mean, Jesus Christ.
Some people make life look so easy, you know?
You know, so now he's...
Then he hired whatever, some computer company wanted to hire
him for some menial job. He goes,
yeah, I'll take it. It was like
doing something with hard drives that
sounded like I could do. And six
months later, he's right on the job.
It's that Zook and
Greg was different. He was smart, but
in a different way. Street smart,
you know.
And anyways, it was fascinating to sit down with both those guys.
And, God, we had just given Zook an antique radio for his birthday.
He gave me that football helmet.
We gave him this beautiful, and, you know, Pete brought it back.
It's so fucking sad.
Sitting in my fucking house.
And I watched UFC this weekend.
He was always next to me,
watching UFC, you know, and I'm like, I just kept looking over at the fucking empty, you
know, it's fucking, it's not even hitting home yet, you know, anyways, but you guys,
I mentioned him so many times on the show, that's why I'm talking about him, let's get
to the, let's get to some happy news. Ukraine and dead children.
What the fuck is going on? What's going on out there? Some interesting shit broke
today. Am I doing this right? It's Monday. I feel like I'm skipping something. I have
no idea what I'm doing. Obama, did you hear about this Obama's Ukraine coup? Maybe?
Law enforcement, that's a publication today, law enforcement today, recently
reported on how the United States, under then
President Barack Obama, assisted
in staging a coup
in Ukraine, which destabilized
the region, and in
turn provoked Russian President
Vladimir Putin to invade
and annex Crimea.
And I'm sorry,
I wanted to preface all this.
Folks, don't believe,
this is war and one of the best slogans I've ever heard.
What's the first casualty of war?
The truth.
And don't believe what we're saying.
I don't believe what Ukraine's saying half the time.
I definitely don't believe what Putin's saying.
Don't believe,
take it all with a grain of fucking salt.
But when you start bringing this fucker up, Captain Marxist't believe, take it all with a grain of fucking salt. But when you start
bringing this fucker up, Captain Marxist,
I'll take it.
Again, we don't know, but it's very
interesting. Anyways,
yeah, so he was trying to pull a coup over there, apparently
back in the day.
So Putin would
annex Crimea.
Anyways.
Who said that?
I don't know. Who the fuck said that?
Take it easy, Captain.
Who's the slimy little
commoner shit twinkle
toed cocksucker down here
who just signed
his own death warrant?
Now, we're finding out
that one of the key players
in the coup,
Victoria Nuland.
Well, who's that twat?
She served in the State Department
under Obama.
Was actually caught on tape
planning the coup in Ukraine. Again, I'm taking all this
with a grain of salt. I don't, you know, I'm so cynical now I'm fucking useless. But that's,
they say that's how you should be during the war. Norlin is a voracious anti-Trumper,
that's all you need to know, who was believed to have a great deal of involvement in spreading
these so-called steel dossier that, sir, imagine now she's working under Biden, served as the basis for special counsel Robert Mueller's
ill-fated probe of former President Donald Trump. So she's a useless. You stupid fucking
blabbermouth cunt. Hey, take it easy. Nuland is currently serving in the Biden administration,
also known as Obama's third term, this guy says,
under Secretary of State for Political Affairs.
Nuland recently testified before the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, and amazingly,
nobody, including the stupid Republicans, questioned her about her past actions in Ukraine,
which again, tells you what?
Everybody's in on this shit.
It's all a big show.
As GP reports, in 2014, Nuland was a pretty busy lady in Ukraine being witnessed passing out cakes to protesters in Kiev, now Kiev.
Just weeks after the protests became violent
and a number of Ukrainian citizens died during the riots, which ensued.
I had heard of her a little bit.
Who the fuck are you?
Right in the middle of this.
And if you...
Some shit you can't believe,
like she believed in the Steele
dossier and helped push that, that you can
verify, okay?
Fucking woman,
Marxist Obama.
Nick, what do you mean? I'm just saying.
GP reports that during this time,
Lulun had a telephone conversation with another American,
Jeffrey Pyatt, to discuss the events in Ukraine.
Pyatt currently serves as U.S. ambassador to Greece.
However, between 2013 and 2016,
he was serving as U.S. ambassador to Ukraine.
During that phone call, Lulun Piat
brought up two individuals, then the National Security Advisor to the Vice President,
Jake Sullivan, and the Vice President himself, Joe Jerkoff Biden. The discussion between the two
revolved around the State Department's pick for Prime Minister of a so-called unity government in ukraine unity government
according to gp joe biden was intimately involved in the decision gee i wonder why
since obama had appointed him as the point man for ukraine you why would you obama know what a
fuck up he was maybe that's why obama said when he was running, don't underestimate his ability to fuck up.
Because I'm sure he helped fuck up this thing, right?
You appointed him?
What are you, frigging nuts?
So anyways, Obama appointed Biden, you know,
appointment over in Ukraine.
I wonder why.
Think you spent much time over there?
What are we doing?
Yeah.
What's going on right now?
Ironically, about the same time, Biden's son Hunter was appointed to the board of Burisma
Energy Holdings, one of the largest such companies in Ukraine, despite having zero
experience in the energy sector. So in essence, what occurred was that the former government of
Ukraine was deposed and the United States, Biden at the helm helped stage a coup and then
picked the man they decided should lead Ukraine, not the duly elected head of government, which I
think was Klitschko, wasn't it? In the late conversation between Nuland and Pyatt, the former
expressed frustration with the European Union's response to the situation then occurring in Ukraine.
Following is what this broad, again, who hated Trump, is what she said about, you know, this has to do with the trying to put a commute.
What did he?
Yeah, yeah.
Put a puppet government.
That would be great, I think, to help glue this thing and have the UN help glue it.
And, you know, f*** the EU.
F*** the EU, she says.
So,
I mean, if you listen to the whole thing,
it's obvious what they're talking about. It's about five minutes
long. I could spend the first hour on this.
I wonder
if this is going to be splashed off. I guarantee
it. Tucker will probably have it on. Anyways.
Never heard of the broad, did you, up until now?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who the fuck do you think you are?
Who the fuck?
Then we have a video response here, too.
Yeah, here's a video response to somebody asking her about that. Obviously not going to comment on private
diplomatic conversations
other than to
say it was
pretty impressive tradecraft.
The audio was extremely
clear.
What the
fuck does that mean?
Is she implying that somebody
chopped it? Edited it?
No, I believe she's implying that she's just trying to make light of the situation.
Oh, yeah, it was really good tradecraft.
That's all I'm going to say.
What does she mean by tradecraft?
Tradecraft meaning whoever ended up leaking it got clear audio.
It's just a process.
Oh, okay.
Anyway, so that's what she focuses on,
not the fact that she was involved in trying to
put a puppet government in Ukraine.
That sounds like the deep state, by the way, which still exists.
That's where, until they clean house, I'm probably having a wet dream.
Anyways, let's go on to story two, which sort of is related.
Again, take all this shit with a grain of salt.
I don't care who it's coming from, whatever side, because it is wartime.
There was no ghost pilot killing Russians.
And that old lady, remember yelling at the Russian soldier in that park?
That didn't exist either.
That was from a few years ago.
So sock my dick, TV.
What am I going to do?
I'm going to start watching The Bachelor. Now, there's something you can trust. By the way,
I always say this to my listeners. They must laugh. I still like American Idol. Again,
I watch it differently than most people. First of all, I've been on Hollywood auditions and it's
really fucking nerve-wracking. So it amazes me that this younger generation aren't even fazed by it
because of YouTube, and they're so media savvy.
A lot of them walk in, and fucking they don't give a shit,
which blows me the fuck away.
But again, I watch it.
The other part is just make me fucking crazy how PC it is, the sob stories.
They'll do a five-minute sob story.
Then he lost his leg when he slipped
in a puddle when he was two, but he sings like a bird, and he's black, and he grew up
in Tuskegee. So now I know the guy made it through. You're not going to do a 10-minute
piece on him and then say, you suck.
Anyways, but I watch for the PC virtue signaling and how every time there's a good black singer, what's it, Lionel Richie, he'll hug the
person. Finally, he hugged a white kid last night. Right after I said it, I go, does he have a
fucking, but this black kid comes in, black kid, I mean, this white kid, I'm sorry, folks, I'm
digressing here. I don't give a shit. It's my show. This white kid comes in from Long Island, right? Leather jacket,
thick glasses, horrible acne,
short hair, fat,
dumpy. He's got like a white turtleneck
with a gold chain outside like the brothers
were. Just a fucking mess.
Rip G. And
he goes, I'm going to do a
Donny Hathaway
song for you. This
motherfucker,
I watched it again. I have never heard a white guy sing like that. And guess what? Lionel gets up and
fucking hugs him. Why? Because he sounded just like a brother. But before that kid, a
17 year old girl comes in, I forget from even where, Oklahoma, I don't know. She
made Carrie Underwood look like a dog.
This girl looks like Kim Bay singer when she was 17.
I'm talking a 14 on a scale. Freaky.
And I'm like, there's no way she can sing, be that big.
Sits down at a piano and does an adult tone.
Standing ovation from the fuck.
I go, hand her the trophy. This is American Idol.
Personally, I'd give it to that fat guinea from Long Island
who was unbelievable.
I mean, there's a long way.
I'm just saying, this girl was 17.
We talk about American Idol,
and if she doesn't win this thing,
she's going to be a movie star.
But she sang like a goddamn bird.
Better than the fucking anybody who had come.
17?
Dallas. Let's kidnap the bitch. No no I just want a manager that's all like a manager hair what make it soft and so
I mean honest to God supermodel looks things like a fucking it's hilarious I
just feel bad for the, like,
I don't know, 10 people who had already auditioned watching her go.
Anyways, sorry, folks. I still like the fucking show. Again, because I ruin it for my wife going,
here you go. Oh, black kid, let me guess, he grew up in a trailer home with a white fat mother, and here comes the story.
And I'm usually right nine out of ten times.
But they do put on a lot of hillbillies, too, sob stories.
Girl from West Virginia, had teeth like a fucking horse who did meth.
Oh, twisted and shit. Fucking unbelievable voice.
I find it fascinating. These kids, some of these kids haven't even sung in front of a live audience ever.
I don't know how they can walk in.
I remember auditioning, acting-wise, and shitting my pants.
It's pretty, anyways, that's what drugs are for, Nick.
These kids are all on Xanax and Oxycontin.
Lead story, Ukraine and U.S. worked on bioweapons together.
Boy, this is getting interesting.
Again, folks, take it with a grain of salt.
I don't know who's putting it out.
The Russian media outlet, RIA Novosti,
Novosti, put remote control back in docking station.
That's the Russian and the Sopranos.
Pauly picks it up, what the fuck's this?
He goes, universal remote.
Paulie goes, yeah, I bet you guys are wiping your ass with your bare hands before you get over here.
And then he goes like this, lets it smash on the floor.
And the Russians on the couch drinking, he goes, you want to fuck here now?
So he gets, and they end up killing him.
Anyways, the Russian media outlet,
Arnavosti, released documents that the Ministry of Defense points to
as evidence that the Ukraine
was undertaking research in U.S.-funded biolabs
that has the capability to be used for bioweapons.
Really, the Russian Ministry of Information? biolabs that has the capability to be used for bioweapons. Really?
The Russian Ministry of Information? Yeah, they wouldn't
lie, would they? That's what I
said to my boy Rich Wood, who actually
was on a couple of late
breaking stories, but I just said to him,
don't fucking believe any of it.
Major General
Igor Konishnikov.
I think he won the luge in China, an official representative of the Russian Ministry of Defense provided the information to journalists. Moscow said that the
documents allegedly originated from employees of Ukrainian biological laboratories, sound familiar,
confirmed that components of biological weapons
were being developed in Ukraine in close proximity to Russian territory. Again,
sorry, propaganda, as reported by RIA Novosti, remote control. Put back in the
docking station. Yeah, fuck you.
Lung omelet.
Wow, that one hurt.
Fuck, and they still got me, those cheeky bastards.
I'm still suffering a tad of whatever.
In the course of a special military operation,
the facts of an emergency cleansing by the Kiev regime
of traces of military biological program
being implemented in Ukraine, funded by who?
The U.S. Department of Defense were uncovered,
according to these lying.
But I don't know.
That guy could be a lesbian.
Looks just like a girl.
Anyways, that's what Kanishish Koshnikov said. We have received, we have received documentation.
Colorful names. What was, what were some of the names though though? Dragon. Dragon. Fly.
Dragon fly something.
Employees of Ukrainian biological laboratories
on the emergency destruction
of especially dangerous
pathogens on February 24th.
The causative agents of
plague, anthrax,
tularemia.
Oh, I don't like that one.
Cholera.
Big deal. And other deadly diseases, I don't like that one, cholera, big deal,
and other deadly diseases.
I don't fucking know.
I don't know nothing about that.
But they list,
okay,
I'm not,
there was 10
what they supposedly found,
like talking points,
bullet points,
or what was going to be done.
If I read them to you,
we'd be here for the next
two and a half hours.
Just take my word for it,
like I'm supposed to take their word for it.
Fact checkers, this is when I know it was bullshit.
Fact checkers Snopes, let me check my balls,
have denied that there are bioweapons laboratories in Ukraine that are run by the United States.
I don't know that Snopes ever gets anything right, but anyways.
According to one fact check, a viral post on biolabs in Ukraine,
the Ministry of Health of Ukraine,
and the Department of Defense of the United States of America
entered into an agreement in 2005
while Republican U.S. President George W. Bush
was in office to stem the threat of bioterrorism.
Remember he got envelopes?
Remember?
That was all bullshit, it turned out, depending, again, who you want to believe.
But that was like a false flag on our part.
Bioterrorism.
By placing safeguards on deadly pathogens dating from a Soviet-era biological weapons program,
according to a contemporaneous news article
in the Chicago Tribune.
While the United States Defense Department's...
This is way too heavy news today.
I'm hating this show.
While the U.S. Defense Department
Biological Threat Reduction Program
provided some funding
to upgrade biolabs in the Ukraine,
these facilities are operated
by the Ukrainian government
under guidelines set under
Ukrainian law.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't fucking believe us either.
The main issue with such fact-checkers
is that they have dismissed
any possibility. This is
Snopes, by the way.
Just to give you an idea how they think about
their facts. They denied any
possibility that COVID-19 leaked from a
Wuhan laboratory, whether
accidentally or intentionally.
So, I think the rest
of the world believes that did happen.
So, suck a dick and die. Anyways,
here's Tom with a wither.
We're going to get another,
we used to have a fucking another
angle cam. You're good.
You're a director.
You could, right?
Something to make a little interesting.
I like to punch myself in the face right now.
I'm so sick of myself.
Give me back my bullets.
Let's move on, shall we?
Sending bullets abroad.
Could you send some to my house?
If this shit goes down, I have three. Don't get me wrong, I'm deadly.
Scottsdale, Arizona-based Ammo Inc. is donating one million rounds of ammunition.
Abort mission immediately.
Donating one million rounds of ammunition to Ukraine's fighting forces. You gotta love it.
Don't you love you hear the shells hitting the floor? That's so American.
M-O-N-C-E-O Fred Wangelhals. Really? Is there a John Smith running a company or a fucking Ted Nugent?
Fred Wangenhals explained the decision by saying this.
This is the Ammo Inc. warehouse in Wisconsin,
where they mass produce what they call innovative ammunition for firearms.
Now ready to help Ukraine battle the Russians one bullet at a time.
I believe, first of all in the
second amendment. How about a necktie? I believe in freedom and democracy. Fred Wagonhals is the
CEO. He made his fortune in NASCAR before shifting gears. How southern is this guy? I think I don't
even know if he's southern. Made his fortune in NASCAR now he's sending bullets overseas.
Holy shit as Brett Butler the comedian once said he's so Now he's sending bullets overseas. Holy shit.
As Brett Butler, the comedian once said,
he's so Southern, he's related to himself.
Kenny Roddison had a good one, too. No, it was Bill Hicks, actually.
Bill Hicks' kid comes up to me after my show and said,
Hi, Bill, this is my sister and my wife.
And there was one person standing there.
Okay, go ahead. Guns. Now he's pledging one million bullets to Ukraine free of charge,
born out of a brief conversation between two Ammo Inc. execs.
And he's going to use Amazon to get them all.
and he's going to use Amazon to get them out.
He did good for him.
I wish I could help out, you know.
I sent some unripe bananas.
I don't know if they'll get there.
For the girls.
He decided to send the one million rounds after talking to his former NASCAR colleague,
the ghost of Richard Petty.
What? No.
I mean, Dale Earnhardt.
Petty's still alive. Colleague Richard Dale Earnhardt. Petty's still alive.
Colleague Richard Childress.
No, Petty's dead too, isn't he?
Wagon House has a private plane
ready and waiting to make the delivery.
The guy's got a private plane.
As soon as government
clearance is received.
Don't hold your breath from this faggot government.
Right?
No, that would be too dangerous. And it's not, it would help the outcome that we really don't want.
I don't even know what we want over there. Remington is also sending a million rounds.
Good for Remington. I have your shock now. I love it. Rounds of ammunition to Ukraine's
fighting forces. Okay. Give it up for Remington. If that's a fact, it is. Tell me,
am I lying?
You've got to bring that
shit over there personally,
because I don't trust anybody.
The renowned, and by the way, Gutfeld's
mother-in-law is safe and sound.
Just thought I'd throw that in there.
The renowned ammunition
manufacturer announced their plans via Twitter
on Friday. I hope it gets there.
You know,
how about friggin'
you-know-who, Zelensky,
avoiding like three hits on him already.
I'm guessing
that's true. I don't, again,
this is how cynical I am.
I'm laying in bed last night going,
maybe Zelensky is just stirring up all this.
He keeps asking for a no-fly zone
that would drag us into this fucking thing.
And I'm like, okay, where's he playing?
I'm so fucking cynical.
I'm like, holy shit, he could be working for Putin.
The only guy that wasn't was Trump.
Yeah, you just can't trust any of it.
You can't, right? There's a bigger picture.
Yeah, exactly. We talked about it on the show.
But I said, yeah,
there's 12 people in a room deciding all this shit.
But I'll play the game.
Left, right, whatever the fuck. I enjoy
scrapping. I'm 60. I can't punch
anymore, so I'll use my mouth.
Anyways, let's move on to a fat
black racist fag. How's that for a
headline? I fucking, this guy, I would cut his throat if I fucking. A far left guest on The View
sounded off on President Biden's State of the Union remarks, pouring cold water on the defund
the police movement, saying Friday that Biden was admitting he didn't
care about reform. Quote, let's not abandon our streets or choose between safety and equal justice,
Biden said on Tuesday. We should all agree the answer is not to defund the police. And the only
reason Biden is saying this, because now it's politically expedient,
he didn't say shit when cities were being burned down.
You fucking scumbag.
You're not even good at lying.
The answer is to fund the police.
Fund them with resources and training
they need to protect our communities.
So, Eli, or Ellie, I call him,
Miss Dell.
Ugh.
Please give me a call.
There he is.
Look at that fucking number two pencil.
Brillo padded girl.
Eli Miss Dell,
a correspondent for The Nation,
which is a publication that's left of Stalin,
infrequent MSNBC guests.
So you know, he's trying to be fair.
He fumed Biden was trying to be nice in his address.
Ian suggested cops on the streets
would still be just as likely to kill African Americans
for no reason.
Let me stop you there, you fat girl.
That's been disproven over a thousand times.
More white guys get shot by cops
unarmed last year, and you're just full of shit. The numbers don't fucking lie. There's black people
that will agree with me. So that's all been disproven. But the view, I don't even want to
put stories on anymore from these cunts. Tommy picked this one, and I was like, I don't want to
give them any more ink. Joy Behar is just a lump of my testicle that needs to be removed. So is this bitch. As likely to kill African Americans for
no reason. How about they're playing the music too loud? It's a joke. Relax. Regardless of funding.
Let's listen to this he she. Anybody in good faith think that the problem with police brutality in this country is that
it's not funded enough?
No.
Right?
Do we think that there's a cop on the street saying, like, you know, I was going to let
that black man live, but I just didn't have the funding and the training to understand
what humans look like.
If only I had gotten a raise, that black man might have lived.
Like, that's not what's happening, all right?
So when Biden says, fund the police,
fund them, fund them, fund them,
what I hear is, I don't care anymore.
I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dumb cut next.
Yeah.
Sonny Huston laughing like he's hilarious.
Everybody fucking nodding.
They're stuck in 1942.
And look at him.
Isn't he handsome?
You fat, nasty black bitch. That's look at him. Isn't he handsome? You fat, nasty, black bitch.
That's perfect for him.
This is made for him.
You fat, nasty, black bitch.
Do you think anybody...
Can you imagine?
Does anybody buy that?
And you book him on the show, View, really?
Oh, it's fucking...
He's not even relevant.
He's saying shit
that I was saying
fucking a year ago
that's been disproven.
Even black people,
mostly because they're affected
when you cut police funding.
And this jerk off...
No, it's because white cops
want to kill on black men,
which was a fucking lie
from day one.
Ay-yi-yi.
Mostel said Tuesday
Biden's comments were what whites
want to, oh, there it comes out.
Fucking, not only is he fag black, he's
a racist. I suck cock.
Only black cock. I love it. Yummy,
yummy, yummy, yummy. Mistel said Friday Biden's
remarks were not a politically courageous
strategy, leading to co-host
Anna Navarro, the dumbest whore on the
planet, to respond that
she felt Biden was simply responding to the misunderstood slogan. I don't even know what
the fuck that is. Have another donut, will you? Get rid of the slogan so we can have an actual
policy debate on reform and where to put the funding, Navarro. We know where to put it,
right in the cops' hands. Ass wipe.
You're always talking about funding mental health respondents and having that be part of the police response.
You know what?
Make me a sandwich. Make me a fucking sandwich.
And don't eat it on the way to the living room.
He's the president making the address about his policy.
How is he going to do the whole speech about his slogans
and not tell me what the actual
policy... Well, geez,
it's so complicated.
He wants to give the cops more money,
not less. What do I
got to explain to you?
We're going to fund the police so
we can do this or that or
the other thing. He doesn't say that.
He just wanted
the soundbite, fund the police,
to get Republicans off his back.
Yeah, because they're really in the way.
Republicans are slowing them down.
What world do they live in?
Look at this big girl.
That fucking hair.
Frederick Douglass.
Du Bois. One of those.
I can't
get this fucking cheese burnt
off my roasting pan. Give me that guy.
Mostel cited a survey showing
blacks with a 66%
approval rating for Biden.
What?
Excuse me? Again,
just pure propaganda.
I'm sure that's from a poll the nation took
of all fucking radical leftists.
Where do you take it?
Brown University, the cafeteria?
Which he called politically disastrous for Democrats.
Wow, aren't you a detective?
Democrats in the White House
generally enjoy sky-high approval ratings
from black voters.
Maybe that was a misprint.
It certainly wasn't politically smart for the black community.
Co-host Sunny, what's her claim to fame?
Thank you.
Just nodding.
Yeah. White people bad, black people good, gay nodding. Yeah.
White people bad, black people good, gay people good, straight people bad.
I'm just summing up the news for the last 40 years.
Mama, didn't mean to make you cry.
A goo-gobbling police chief fired.
Oh, my God.
Who's writing this horse shit?
A Florida police chief has been given the boot after an investigation found the engaged
discriminatory promotion practices
and remarked
this is what he said, that wall is too white
when looking at pictures of the
department's command staff
I'm going to fucking smash his fucking
face in. Do you remember who else
said that folks? I've done this, I had a bit
in my stand up about it
Rachel Maddow, she was giving
a speech at Rockefeller
University, somewhere in Illinois.
And she got there the day
before, and she's looking at this
picture of all famous alumni from
that university, and it was all the old
white guys. And she went,
what's with all the white dudes
on the wall?
Next day when she gave the speech, they were taken down.
I said, that's like me walking
into a Waffle House in Atlanta and looking at the employees a month.
Why are they all black?
Or a white guy hitting how to make grits?
What the fuck? Or walking into the Hall of Fame
of fucking Motown.. The fuck is this?
The Pistons?
Take down a
fucking
name a musician, you know.
Miles Davis?
Take him down. Put John Denver up.
Wait, fucking what? It's two black and two
males.
Anyways, this
gay fella,
Larry Scarotto, which is a time for Scarottum.
Look at this, look at this. He actually looks straight, but we'll show a picture otherwise.
Larry Scarotto, who took over the Fort Lauderdale Police Department in August,
was fired. I can't believe it. They actually fired a dude for being discriminatory and saying
the wrong thing about white people?
Somebody pinch me.
A department in August was fired
by the city manager
on Thursday, according to Pressfully.
The report followed several discrimination
complaints that alleged
Scrotto48 made
hiring and promotion decisions
with an illegal race-based approach.
No doubt about it.
My, again, I hate to reverence my late great buddy, but he watched people blow by him.
Samoan women, Cuban women who've been there about three years.
He'd been there for like 15 and just get promoted based on gender and race, and that's why the country's
the shithole it is.
That's all.
That's all I'm saying.
I'm not saying they're not all...
Obviously there's qualified...
There's black guys who got stepped over by black women or whatever, you know?
Scoretto, a former assistant chief in Pittsburgh, became the first openly gay chief.
Wow, that's terrific.
Oh, there's the smile that says, yes, I like cock.
That's a pretty smile.
He looks like if the Sesame Street, the Muppets had a gay character.
He's got that Muppet hair, though.
And with the gleam in his eyes.
He's got that gleam in his eyes.
Right now he's looking at a Cub Scout changing through his window.
First openly gay chief hired in Fort Lauderdale, Alaska.
And he's of mixed race.
How are you not going to hire him?
Huh?
We can kill three birds with one stone.
Fucking quiz!
Take it easy, Polly.
Relax.
Be tolerant.
A 12-page investigation into the biased companies
concluded that Scarotto created a divisive atmosphere
in the department and that he once pointed to a conference room wall
of photos of the department's command staff
and declared that wall is too white.
And I'm going to change that, according to CNN.
In another incident, the investigation found that Scarotto
said,
which one is blacker
when considering a promotion?
An incident the former
police chief denies took place.
The report quoted Scarrotto,
who headed the police department
for just six months
because his PC's stupid,
woke fucking attitude
thinks everybody's on board with it.
You know what state you're living in? This is actually encouraging as saying he intended to
consider diversity at every opportunity and then he said this. Bye-bye, dickhead.
Bye-bye, dickhead.
Anyways, thank you so much, boys and girls.
Hey, I'm back on the road.
You can find all these tour dates and ticket links
on my website at nickdip.com.
March 25th, Hyena's Comedy Club
in Dallas. The next night, the 26th,
Hyena's Comedy Club in Fort Worth. April
7th through 9th, Comics at Mohegan Sun
in Connecticut. May
6th.
The goddamn Y is a 7.
May 6th, Governor's Comedy Club
in Levittown. May 7th, Governor's Comedy Club in Levittown.
May 7th, the next night, the Paramount Theater in Peekskill, New York.
September 9th, Soul Joel's Comedy Club in Royalsford, Pennsylvania.
Those are my favorite new ones.
September 10th, Algonquin Theater in Manasquan, New Jersey.
And September 11th, the Sugarloaf Performing Arts Center in Chester, New York. Again, you can get all the links for tickets at nickdip.com
and click on the tour button.
Anyways, finally tonight on Face the Nation.
A right-wing Brazilian politician
disgustingly...
I love how they have to add...
I'll decide whether it's disgusting
or not what he said.
Or were they straight-wing?
You never hear left-wing.
Oh, you never hear left-wing.
No.
It's always a conservative speaker,
never a liberal speaker,
because they're all liberals.
A right-wing Brazilian politician disgustingly described fleeing Ukrainian women as easy
and total goddesses.
Holy shit, that was sexy.
No.
What do you mean?
He complimented them.
The easy part?
What's that, a slight?
During a recent trip to the war-ravaged nation, he said that, and I don't know.
Never been there.
He did.
Sao Paulo Congressman Arthur Duval,
35, made the vile comments while he was
supposed to be on a diplomatic mission
last week to witness the
devastation of the war firsthand and
raise awareness of the plight of Ukrainians.
But he made it a pussy hunt
trip. But Duval sparked outrage after Brazilian media leaked secret recordings of him discussing
the trip in such crude terms that he had to suspend this campaign to be a Sao Paulo governor.
He says, I've just crossed the border on foot between Ukraine and Slovakia, and he's talking
to his friend. bro, I swear
to you, I've never seen anything like it in terms of beautiful girls.
The refugee line, Q means line, basically, it's like 200 meters long or more of just
total goddesses, he said.
Only you can send a guy to a war zone in there.
It's some incredible shit.
The line outside Brazil's best nightclub
doesn't come close to the refugee line here.
Oh, my God.
This guy's a real pussy, huh?
The outlet said Duval also called Ukrainian women
easy because they're poor.
I'm sorry.
He's probably hitting it right on the head.
I don't know. And then another woman
said this.
What about the thousand other fucking pigs
you had your dick in over the years?
The strippers, the cocktail
waitresses. Were you best friends with
all of them too?
What a
great show.
More people should watch.
Brazilian media reported that he made degrading remarks
about security guards.
Can you imagine this is what we're worried about
when babies are being killed and women being raped?
Well, Nick, this type of attitude leads to a...
No, it don't.
I would have said the same thing.
I would have been nice about it.
Sounds nicer in Italian.
Degrading remarks about security guards at the border of Ukraine and Slovakia, too,
and said, just unbelievable, dude.
As soon as this war's over, I'm coming back.
The wife of Ukraine's former ambassador to Brazil condemned the politician and said,
show some respect, you punk.
condemned the politician and said, show some respect, you punk.
Duval blamed the lack of, listen, here's the excuse that really makes him look like,
why don't you just be a man and go, you know what?
I was probably wrong, but I can't help it.
I'm a guy.
You women say we're pigs and dumb.
Okay, you're right.
Why are you surprised?
Duval blamed the lack of water and... Yeah, it's dehydration that gave you the heart.
Lack of water and access to shower.
Anytime I get a smelly ass,
I want to jump on a girl.
Shower for his words,
saying he became overexcited and talked nonsense.
Oh dude, you're fucked up, okay? You're on deep chin now. All right, that is it. But
that's the world we live in. Somebody said something sexist in a war zone. I
don't know what to believe anymore. I gotta believe there was a woman reporter
going, God, these soldiers are hunks. Wait got to believe there was a woman reporter going,
God, these soldiers are hunks.
Wait a minute, what am I saying?
Everybody, every broad on the internet was saying Zelensky, they wanted him.
Yeah, he's a stud.
If he was working at the city dump, you wouldn't even know what the fuck.
I get it.
He was a comedian.
Now he shows he's got huge...
By the way, don't ever underestimate Stan the Comics,
which is what he was in a comedic actor.
Anyhow.
You know who was a war hero?
Do you remember Buffy from Family Affair?
Wait a minute, was Buffy the girl?
I think so.
Jody?
I don't give a fuck.
Why am I referencing a show from 1856 to end this one?
That's it, ladies and gentlemen.
Don't forget thecomicsgym.com.
You can sign up there to become a monthly subscriber.
And patreon.com.
And nicktip.com for my tour dates and merchandise.
And cameo.com.
I had a couple this weekend.
I really love doing them.
Where I can roast a friend.
It doesn't have to be a roast, but, you know, I'm just going to be funny,
which equals a roast.
It's only a minute, two minutes.
Go to camo.com, and I'll tell you how to do it.
That is it.
You think it, I will say it.
You're very welcome.
See you back here for tomorrow.
Enjoy the rest of the day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.