The Nick DiPaolo Show - Pandemic, Panic, and Politics | Nick Di Paolo Show #316

Episode Date: March 16, 2020

Cities closing all bars and restaurants over Corona. Fights in Sam's Club. The cam girl business is booming. MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST Thank you David G. from Palm Springs for your "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support on Patreon! #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Good evening, my fellow Americans. You know what I'm sick of? Being told what's acceptable comedy and what isn't. Okay? I know what is. It's all acceptable. There is no line. People always go, where's that line that you...

There is no line. That's in your head. We live in the United States. It's freedom of speech. I'm sick of this society where everybody gets a trophy. Everybody is the same. Couldn't be further from the truth. Some people are better than others.

You just can't say that out loud. But I have been since 1988, okay? And that's why this show was created, the Nick DiPaolo Show, Monday through Thursdays. You can watch it. You can watch it for free now. And because it's for free now,

we need your contributions financially. You can also sign up at patreon.com. There's two ways to do that. But more than ever, because the show is free, we need your contributions to keep it alive. And I'm going to keep calling it like I see it. I'm the original deplorable. If you don't believe it, watch Tough Crowd reruns. They go back to the late 90s.

I was saying this stuff. There's a lot of Johnny-come-latelys out there who are taking credit for being politically incorrect. Now they never were this jumping on the bandwagon. This is it's in my DNA and people know that I'm selling out shows and thank God I have the best fans in the world. And that's why we're giving the show a Monday to Thursday. If you're watching it on YouTube, just click that button right now to subscribe. Like I said, you can make a contribution at nickdip.com. Just click on the Nick DiPaolo show. I promise you, I will continue to speak the truth because there's two types of people, politically correct and people who speak the truth. You and I are in the latter. I will

continue to do that if you support the show. I can't tell you how much my fans mean to me. That is it. I want you all to enjoy the show. So, yeah. Good to be back. How are you, folks? Monday. State of Georgia.

Fresh back from Baltimore. Look at me. I'm fine. I got on that goddamn plane. It wasn't Baltimore proper. It was Timonium, which is a suburb. I don't know, about an hour away or less. But I'm figuring that flight will be mostly black, you know?

No. Look like a fucking kitchen at a Chinese restaurant. It's like seven or eight Chinese people. Asian, excuse me. And only like three of them had masks on. It was fucking a little scary. And I'll tell you who bundles up. Black people. Young black women are bundled up head

to toe. This girl had winter gloves on and shit. Fucking winter hat mask. I'm behind her touching her neck. What the fuck are you doing? It was they came out, baby. They came out.

The Apollo fans. And look look we're in this together all right yes i've already lost a ton of money the gigs are gonna be canceled till june july maybe but um it's not just about that it's about entertaining you people because there's nothing on at home there's nothing on tv there's no sports no nba no march madness no March Madness, no NHL, no baseball, no nothing. Fucking ESPN's running dirt bike, you know, those crazy white guys and their dirt bikes. I mean, what? So I'm here for you. Let's feel the pain together.

Know what I'm saying? Yeah, goddamn right. Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you've been. Oh, shut it. You're being very negative, Mr. DiPaolo. No, I'm being very fucking positive. I have Nick the pig as a friend. Yeah, what's wrong with that? Anyhow, fucking too lazy to shave.

Let's get right to it. I'm out of practice already. It feels like the first time I'm doing this. But anyways, real quick McGobie's, 225 tickets Sold the first show, okay That's pretty goddamn good It was like 50 cancellations, but I still get paid

That's how that works And then the second show was smaller, but still They came out, I shook hands I licked elbows, I bumped foreheads I rubbed tits I did it all Because I appreciate And I reallybed tits. I did it all. Because I appreciate my, and I really do.

You think I'm kidding. My fans, I love as much as my family members, okay? By the way, I'm estranged from my family. But listen. What are we talking about today? Gee, I don't know. Bat. Bat. Bat soup. Bat soup, anybody? today gee i don't know bat bat bat soup bat soup anybody lockdowns and entry bans imposed around the world ladies and gentlemen around the world to fight the coronavirus you heard me

france and spain joined italy in imposing lockdowns on tens of millions of people. Australia ordered self-isolation of arriving foreigners. How racist, Australia. And other countries extended entry bans. They're all following Trump's lead, by the way. Trump did this back in a month ago, into January, when he first heard about it. Was called a bigot and a racist and a xenophobe by the jerk-offs at CNN, CBS. Boy, are they turning it up.

Still trying to blame him for being unprepared. It's a goddamn unprecedented situation. We were supposed to have 70 million hospital beds ready in mass. Please, suck it. Anyways, yeah, all these countries around the world extending the band um several countries imposed bans on mass gathering not in fucking timonium maryland they didn't that shit was shutted sporting it's who writes he sporting cultural and religious events and while uh medical experts urge people to practice social distancing, which I've been doing my whole life, I'm not a real fucking people person.

I was the last comic to start shaking hands after the show had nothing to do with the germs. I don't want to get sucker punched. But even when everybody started that 10 years ago, that's not my job description. I make fucking people laugh. I get the check. I'm not running for governor. ago that's not my job description i make fucking people laugh i get the check i'm not running for governor but anyways uh so yeah all these all these countries are sort of uh following trump's lead you know all right get up australia's chancellor urged people to self-isolate plenty of room in australia to do that by the way It's about 60 trillion square miles and there's 411 people living there total. Anyways, self-isolate and announce bans on gatherings of more than five people. That's half the country. And further limits on who can enter the country. All of Pope

Francis's Easter services next month will be held without the faithful attending. his Easter services next month will be held without the faithful attending. Unbelievable. Why? If you're religious and you believe in God and faith and all that, come on. He'll heal your ass. Does that only work for leprosy and blind people? Don't fucking whack that coronavirus right out you. Yeah, so he's going to be playing to they're going to have to paper the room as we say in comedy clubs giving out free eucharist and shit it's gonna be terrific pope hats with it

uh and he believes that's never happened in modern times by the way australian prime minister scott morrison said from midnight sunday uh international travelers arriving in the country would need to isolate themselves for 14 days. Okay? It's called mitigation. And foreign cruise ships will be banned for 30 days, give it a rise in imported cases. If you're getting on a cruise ship now, you deserve the coronavirus. I mean, people catch shit on cruise ships for the last 10 years. Every time they come back, they come off, they have a flesh-eating disease from the hot tub. Everybody's touching the same doorknob

400 times, then they go to the buffet. What are you, nuts? Traveling restrictions and bans and a plunge in global air travel saw further airline cutbacks, with American Airlines planning to cut 75% of international flights through May 6th and ground nearly all its wide-body fleet. What are you talking about, your stoatuses? Those fucking old grumpy fat bucks? I have a white hair on my cheek that you guys can't see, but it's in the corner of my eye 24 hours a day. It's right here.

It looks like a two-by-four to me. I can see it. Can't see it when I look at it. It fucking drives me nuts. I digress. How about this? China tightened checks on international travelers arriving in Beijing on Sunday after the number of imported new coronavirus.

They finally get a handle on it over there, right? And now people are bringing it in. So we're not going to live in this borderless world that you far left as jerk-offs. It's never going to work. Not just disease. People are fucking horrible. Okay? Like I said many times, my people should have stayed in Italy's. Raz's people should have stayed in Detroit.

I... What? The Polish should have stayed... Bernie? You know the fuck. Anyways. Yeah, so even China is, you know, that started at ground zero, but they had a hand on it, but now people are bringing it in, and they don't like it. It's not what I ordered, sorry.

Anyone arriving to Beijing from abroad will be transferred directly to a central quarantine facility for 14 days and never seen again. No. There was some there's somebody over there. There was some tycoon, very rich Chinese guy who was bad mouthing how president of China, Xi Jinping, how we handle this. And guess what? The guy disappeared. Nobody knows where he is.

You better shut your holes especially if bernie gets elected that's how it'll work uh anyways they're gonna be transferred to a quarantine facility and that that's not good you don't never want to be at a a a fucking state-run quarantine facility in china or russia for a matter of fact and keep your mouth shut keep your motherfucking... I love that guy. Fucking Trump should put him on the ticket. You want to get all the black vote? He'd get more than Obama if he put that kid on the ticket.

China has reported 80,984 cases and 3,203 deaths. The country imposed draconian containment policies for January, locking down several major cities. Spain. Spain put its 47 million inhabitants under partial lockdown on Saturday as a part of a 15-day state of emergency to combat the epidemic in Europe's second worst affected country after my homeland. Again, I'm only half Italian.

I wouldn't know. Italy leads the league. I'll get to them in a second. We got a guy put up a video. He's reading obituaries from the last few days. Holy, it's thicker than the Sunday New York Times. That's because most Italians, they're about 60 as far as average age, and they smooch every time they see each other.

I'm going to cut that shit out. Spain has had 193 deaths from the virus and 6,250 cases so far. France will shut shops. Oh, my God. When the French are shutting down the stinky cheese shops and the fucking Gucci stores or whatever, whatever, faggy fashions you got. Restaurants and entertainment facilities. They're shutting all that down. Folks, we're shutting the world

down here. With it, 67 million people were told to stay home after confirmed infections doubled in 72 hours. They don't work that hard in Europe. Ever look at Europe's work week? It's like 14 hours. They take two-hour lunches, fucking naps in the afternoon in Italy. All that fucking, they don't work that hard.

This ain't a big deal for them. They're going to lose $11 shutting down the whole fucking. Britain, that would be the UK. That would be the UK. That would be the home motherland of the white people. Britain's preparing to ban mass gatherings and could isolate people age over 70 for up to four months. That's ageism, but that's actually a good theory.

There was a guy, what's his name? He's a guy on Fox news shows called the new revolution, British guy guy but he was talking about that's the easier way to go about it you quarantine the people who susceptible as opposed to trying to shut down the whole world but i don't know if that works at all who am i dr pauchi i don't know uh anyways yeah so they're gonna anybody over 70 for up to four months that that makes driving much safer. Argentina banned entry to non-residents who have been to any country highly affected by coronavirus in the last 14 days. Colombia said it would expel four Europeans for violating compulsory quarantine protocols hours after closing its border with Venezuela.

Everybody's very racist all of a sudden, huh? This is great. You know why? It kicks the globalists right in the balls where they live when reality hits them. Starting Sunday, South Korea began to subject visitors from France, Germany, Britain, Spain, and the Netherlandslands to strict the border checks after imposing similar rules for china italy and iran which have had major outbreaks so everybody's gonna don't bring that shit over here visitors from those countries now need to download an app to report whether they have symptom how the fuck everything with the app south kore Korea has been testing

hundreds of thousands of people and tracking potential carries using cell phone and satellite technology. They actually, they were on it. They've done the best job of mitigating this stuff. So follow the Koreans, Lee. The South Koreans. Not Kim Jong-un.

We haven't heard much out of him. The average North Korean weighs 11 pounds. They eat four meals a year, thanks to Kim Jong-un. They're probably dying at a rate that, you know, anyways. So,

so basically the, the, the point is the world is on lockdown and this is a true pandemic. And, but again, I say, unless you're, you know, 88 years old,

fucking relax. New York city, 88 years old. Fucking relax. New York City. New York City. They shut down bars and restaurants. In New York City. I would love to go there right now. I've never seen sidewalks empty in New York. That's fucking unbelievable.

Could have so much fun. Hookers will still be out there spreading that shit, though. Hey, let me thank the... This is very important, folks, because of this. And like I said, a lot of my gigs are already getting cancelled. We need your contributions,

whether it be individual ones at nickdip.com, or if you go... You can still sign up on Patreon, whatever you want to do but let me just thank some individual contributions uh mark evanson let me put these i don't want to mess up these names mark evanson um from minnesota adam ritchie from illinois sam whitfield from florida tommy uh set a mio from what's SA, Raz? What state would that be? Sacramento.

Raz just said Sacramento. That's a new state. SA, was that a mistake? It might be. I'm missing it. Anyway, thank you, Tommy. Anyways, Joan Fantasia, California. Adam Lesinowski, Massachusetts.

A. Cumia, Massachusetts. James Shearer, Massachusetts. A. Cumia, Massachusetts. James Shearer, Minnesota. Peter Sampson, New York. Dylan Larson, Colorado. Salvatore Logalbo, New York. Suggie McFuggerson, Colorado. Sabrina D'Ambrosio, New York. Mason Revelette, Tennessee.

Philly Matt Damon, Pennsylvania. Kevin Ford, Massachusetts. Marco Greco. He's a freshman at Colgate. We're getting the smart kids, too. New York. Andrea Alvarez, Hispanic. People love this show, of all stripes.

Florida. Kurt Carson, Colorado. Jody Quintanar, California. Salvatore, I already read his name, Logalbo, New York. Heath Childers, Alabama. Kevin McArdle, Massachusetts. Stephenar, California. Salvatore, I already read his name. Logalbo, New York. Heath Childers, Alabama. Kevin McCardle, Massachusetts. Stephen Turner, Ohio. Robert Eumanns, Georgia.

Now here's some monthly contributors. These people signed up at Patreon. John Weingrad. I guess I played football against him. He went to St. John's Prep in my hometown. They were our tribal. Thank you, Johnny. Bo Brandon Baker.

Bo Brandon Baker. Supersport. time they were our tribal thank you johnny uh beau brandon baker beau brandon baker super sport philip rocha and sandy dollar sandy dollar you got it sand dollar thank you guys more than ever i and i know you're impacted too financially but do what you can we got to have a place to blow off steam with these leftist scumbags i put i watched cnn because they had it on at the hotel i don't know why and i couldn't believe what i was hearing just trying to pin it all on trump it's just un-fucking-believable and i had that argument with glenn beck a little bit well of course they're going to blame Trump and he's going to cost me a lot really people aren't going to see through that that's really his fault you know I mean well it's how he wait till that wait till I'd say in a month or two

when he comes out and and the news gets out that things are getting better if you guys play the stock market you should be jumping all over shit right now because it's going to go through the roof. What you do is bring on a 95-year-old Asian woman who had it and put her in a miniskirt and give her fake tits and go, look, it's over. It's over, Johnny. It's never over. You don't just turn it off, you know. I'm doing Stallone from Rambo. Coming back from the airport.

People spitting at us, calling us baby killers. You know that vile crap? Dinky Dow. Interim Guidance for Coronavirus Disease 2019. This is the CDC, folks. Center for Disease Control. Wish I had it when I was whoring around at the titty bars in high school.

Good. The CDC, in accordance with its guidance for large events and mass gatherings, recommends that for the next eight weeks, that's two goddamn full months, organizes whether groups or individuals cancel or postpone in-person events that consist of 50 people or more throughout the United States.

Holy shit. All righty then. The only thing that'll be safe is if Pauly Shore does another movie. This recommendation does not apply to the day-to-day operation of organizations such as schools, institutes of higher learning, or businesses. Bullshit. Right here in the Georgia area, there's schools in this town. They send the kids home.

Everybody's doing this stuff online. I would be so fucked with my technical skills if I was in college. I'd be trying to study for my history test, and and I keep clicking on fucking youngteens.net. And hey, schools are closed in New York. They were busting de Blasio's balls. I mean, this is fucking scary shit. This interim guidance, again, this is the CDC, is intended for organizers and staff responsible for planning mass gatherings or large community events in the United States.

Here's the definition of a mass gathering. A mass gathering is planned or spontaneous event with a large number of people in attendance that could strain the planning and response resources of the community hosting the event, such as a concert, festival, conference or sporting event. the event, such as a concert, festival, conference, or sporting event. Guidance specific to schools and childcare settings, institutions of higher education. Just say the whole, just say anybody, come on, just say we're shutting everything down. And community faith-based organizations. As the COVID-19 outbreak evolves, CDC strongly encourages event organizers, staff to prepare for the possibility of outbreaks in their communities. Creating an emergency plan for mass gatherings, like what? Enlarged community events can help protect you and the health of your event participants in the local. Oh, baloney.

Go see. Go to your local theater and support the local, they're doing you know, Othello tonight. Fucking Just stay away from each other. That's what they're talking about, you know. Also, I don't like

nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me and I'll kill you. I guess they caught Trump on an open mic apparently. On a hot mic. By the way, he tested negative,

which is hilarious. Who the fuck knows? Organized should continually assess based on current conditions whether to postpone cancel or significantly reduce the number of attendees if see we're safe here it's just me and Raz

Raz has kids that makes me a little nervous kids are like fucking germ sponges they go in the fucking sandbox and eat cat shit and come home and burp on you not Raz's kids he's well behaved how many you got raz got three you got three kids boy and two girls a boy and two girls um you'll be all right do they go to pre-k and shit you might as well just inject yourself with aids those kids go

fucking gross little kids. More Corona, Corona. My Corona, when you're gonna give me some. My Corona. That's cigarettes, folks. Don't worry about that. That's how you kill it with cancer. Wake up, people. Where am I?

What are we doing? I'll get to that. I forgot. I must have been feverish. I forgot there was a debate last night. Here we go. This is from the Citizen Free Press. Do you check that website out? It's sort of like Drudge, only more politically incorrect.

It's pretty good if you have it. CFP, Citizen Free Press. Yes, sir. This is CNN, the most trusted name in news. The most trusted. Suck my dick. Fucking Wolf Blitzer. Don Lemon, you big girl.

Hope you get a nice dose of... Did the lights just flash? Now, why would that happen, Raz? You know why? Because I just made a gay crack and Jesus is gay. You know who Dr. Fauci is? Very smart Italian fella. And by the way,

they keep quoting him. He came out at the beginning and said we weren't prepared. He didn't say it was Trump's fault. They were handed an antiquated system from Obama with more regulations as far as what could be done as testing and stuff. And when Obama was in office with Biden, we had H1, D1 or whatever.

Remember that they didn't they didn't declare a national emergency until six months into it. A thousand Americans had already died. But you don't hear that, do you? On CNN, CNN and MSNBC. So Dr. Fauci was on CNN, right? And even he's had enough of the horseshit. He's praised Trump. When back in late January, when the news of this broke, Trump, remember, put a travel ban in place from China and everybody's calling him a racist.

He's mentioned how that saved thousands of lives. But they don't play that. You might see it on Fox News. they don't play that. You might see it on Fox News. They don't play it anywhere else. But here's Dr. Fauci on CNN, and he's had enough of their, what's this dumb broad? You actually touched the same podium. I'm sure you've seen this in microphone as the president and other CEOs, even at the same time. The vice president has taken. Yeah, it's a fucking microphone. It's not a black cock.

All right. Oh, no. How dangerous. It does look like Trump squeezing the balls and go ahead. And a test for coronavirus. He tested or the president has tested negative, I should say. Has Vice President Pence. Have you taken a test?

Are you going to take a test? No, I'm not taking a test for some reason. I have no symptoms. I have not. I'm practicing pretty good social distancing. But it's hard to fully do it as we see it. But not everybody in the United States. Do you hear? They're going to keep coming at them.

Admit you're wrong. You should have been tested. They don't even try to be bipartisan or fucking impartial. Every time they have somebody on, it's just a grilling. Look at her. Nice posture. What is she fucking doing? Trying to be taller than him?

Go ahead. Let him finish. She should take a test. I mean, I have no symptoms. There's no reason for me to take a test. You get that? If I'm in a situation where I'm at a higher risk, I will take a test. The picture you showed about the microphone, let's get real here. I mean, there are certain things that you have to do. If I left the microphone at that, you would

see nothing but the microphone. My putting my two fingers to get the microphone down isn't that bad. So I don't think we should make something of that. There you go. I'd like to see people more doing this as opposed to shaking hands. Well, we are not. Well, we are not. We are not required to report the real nose. Just anti-Trump shit, said the titless one. Can you stay catatonic? You are fake news, sir.

Oh, God. They're just relentless. You would have thought fucking Trump brought this over and started it all. Relentless. Hey, oy. How about this in Kentucky? Raz, focus. This is about your family in Kentucky. Who's texting you? Tommy? I'm texting Tommy. Are you really? What are you asking him?

If he wants to cold open an audio bird. Cold open the audio bird. Why do you wait until after the show to do that? I'm playing to you. You're my audience. I'm sorry, I got you. You have to focus. Not really.

Oh, no. Here's where civil liberties, you know, your actual civil liberties collide with government. You know, we're in a pandemic. Sort of an unprecedented situation, right? Well, why does that matter? Well, a coronavirus patient in Kentucky has been – Kentucky's beautiful, by the way. I own horses down there. I'm way richer than you. It's a complete lie.

A patient in Kentucky has been placed on 24-7 armed guard after refusing to self-isolate. Governor Andy Beshear said the state had to make the unusual move to protect others nearby. Here is Governor Andy Beshear talking about having to put this guy under armed guards because he won't. The first instance of an individual who has refused. Last, I want to say that we have had the first instance of an individual who has refused to self-isolate. And we have taken the steps to force an isolation that will be in their home. This is a Nelson County resident that has tested positive, left against medical advice, refused to self-quarantine.

We have worked with the county judges and others. It's a step I hope that I never had to take, but we can't allow one person who we know has this virus to refuse to protect their neighbors. Getting a little creepy. I understand, but it's getting a little creepy. Once you get the government involved, you know, and they bring guns and go,

get in your fucking house and don't come out until we say so. You know, I'm sure there's a line there. There's some lawyer probably looking that up right now. But, you know, it's actually for the guy's own good. Because if he does go out and let's say somebody gets sick and dies, now you've got a new precedent, right?

Murder. Manslaughter. Involuntary ting-chow-how. Deputy. He's now stationed outside the guy's house around the clock in Nelson County. Imagine that. Yeah, the unidentified man is the only coronavirus patient in the county, and officials were worried that he could infect others.

A total of 18 people have tested positive in Kentucky. I would have thought the moonshine would have killed that shit. You know what I mean? Raz knows. He makes his own. The patient had left the hospital without permission. I did that when I had my tonsils out. They called looking for me.

They did. They called me. I didn't live that far from our hospital in my hometown. I fucking... That's right. Tonsils are teeth. No, it's my teeth. What are the teeth? Molas? Molas? Yes, they pulled my teeth. What are the teeth? Molas? Molas?

Yes, they pulled my molas out, Russ. Wisdom teeth. That's right. And I tried to eat that night. I tried to eat Chinese food, and I ripped my stitches up. Yeah, I'm a fucking bit of a dub when I was a kid. I walk in the kitchen, my mother says, What are you doing here? I'm supposed to pick me up.

Beautiful day. thank your situation uh anyways he he he this session the cold state session

now here come the judge county judge executive dean watts declared a state of emergency and invoked an obscure statute to allow the forced self-quarantine.

The state is bracing for the possibility of many more positive cases, and the governor said hospitals should be prepared for that. We want to make sure we have the resources to help every single one of these people. That's what's a little scary. I read an article, again, left-wing paper, the Guardian in the UK. But some guy that worked for Obama, I think, in health and human service, he was a doctor. He said there's going to be at least a half million people infected, maybe, in this country. And within a week, the hospital's going to be overrun here.

Who knows? I say stay inside. It's not like this is 1975. You know, a lot of people, you can do your work from a computer, right? Skype in, that type of shit. But, yeah, when they start, it's a little creepy. The National Guard pulls up to your house and goes, what are you doing, dude? We just saw you fucking sneezing in the living room, watching you with binoculars.

you're fucking sneezing in the living room watching you with binoculars um ohio governor mike dewine orders all bars and restaurants closed so that's how many disappointed appleby fans are going to be in olive garden because i've been to columbus those are some of the best friends no columbus actually i went to a great italian restaurant columbus uh but they're shutting down bars and restaurants you talk about fucking up the local economy. We will be issuing an order closing all bars and restaurants. Hashtag Ohio. Beginning at 9 o'clock tonight. So you people might want

to load up on your... You know, ramen noodles, ironically. Ramen noodles is the way to go. Again, I'm Italian. Anything noodle-like I enjoy. Fucking ramen noodles. I could eat a six-pack of those in ten minutes. Boiled in water and cheese, fucking delicious. Who's with me?

When you're a comic and you're coming up and nobody knows who you are, you live on ramen noodles. You live in an apartment, you're isolated. That's what we did back in the day. Me and Louis C.K. Did I ever tell you me and Louis C. every time me and Louis CK went to a restaurant that was owned by Carol O'Connor in New York City like it was a one round the city

like typical comics we were new to New York like a Tuesday afternoon we go into a place it was owned by Carol O'Connor it was the worst fucking meal I had roast beef it was ice cold in the middle Louis meal sucked we're talking about how much it sucks Louis gets up and just walks out doesn't even tell me I had roast beef. It was ice cold in the middle. Louie's meal sucked. We're talking about how much it sucks.

Louie gets up and just walks out. Doesn't even tell me. So I'm sitting here. Now I have to bolt on the fucking chair. We beat Archie Bunker. It was like fucking $60. I think we had $11 between us. Fucking horrible. But Louie just gets up and walks out, doesn't he?

We're discussing how bad it is. You know, should we pay? And he fucking gets up. Oh, God help us. Anyways, Ohio. So, you know, what are you going to do? Hey, we have a new sponsor. I went a little long.

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So anyways, again, go to hellotushy.com slash nickdip We thank them for sponsoring today's episode Fight breaks out at stores across the country As coronavirus panic intensifies Of course, this clip we have was at a Sam Goody's Somewhere here in Georgia I'm telling you, man Take a look at this. It's happening.

Pandemic panic. The guy being taken out on a gurney. Oh, my God. Folks, it's happening. This is like a movie. It really is. Based on statements from the injured men and multiple witnesses, investigators have concluded that the dispute ignited when two people bumped shopping carts.

Can you fucking imagine? Raz, one of the persons was black. What am I going to tell you? One of them, a man using a motorized shopping cart because of a leg injury, reportedly slammed into a family's cart, carrying a child as the shoppers were trying to get to the same aisle. Jesus. The child's mother confronted the man with the motorized cart and allegedly hit him.

Your mom's a whore. Your mom's a whore. The man tried to back away from the confrontation because he had an injured leg. But the woman, and they picture a black woman in here, but the woman and her male partner followed him and escalated the dispute. That is when the man with the motorized cart grabbed a wine bottle to defend himself. According to police bystanders, including Sam's club staff, they helped to separate the parties until the cops arrived.

The now viral video of the altercation shows a heavily bandaged man being wheeled out of the store on a gurney. I'm guessing it was this guy with an injured leg being attacked by the couple. The two men were treated for non-life-threatening injuries sustained during the clash. Both of them, along with the woman who allegedly sparked the altercation over the bump shopper got her face in criminal charge i would hope the fuck so give me a break somebody bumps your cart this guy was in a motorized one supposedly he rammed you can't make this shit up georgia hello by the way 43 people in georgia have died from it or have it. I can't remember. Well, it's been suggested on social media that the fight started over a pack of water.

The local police department stated that was not the case. Despite rumors reportedly circulating on social media, there are no indications that this incident was related to an altercation over water, toilet paper, hand sanitizer or any other supplies being sought in the connection to the concerns over the coronavirus of course the store is going to say that because you know you see people online selling purell for like a hundred dollars an ounce it's like fucking coke now people are in the black market that wasn't a racial crack you know the black market you know what i mean speaking of my family, I have a Patreon question. Speaking of your family, is this from one of your family members? No. Oh, all right. Brian P. from Alma, Georgia.

Hey, you guinea fuck, just finished. I already read, I did this one. Yes, you silly bastard. Supposed to check with me before the show. I did that with Jason. Got another one. David G., Palm Springs. Nick, why not set up a raffle and a weekly prize for the closest number of COVID-19 deaths?

COVID-19 may be the purge we desperately need. Why not set up a raffle? Because I'm lazy. It sounds like a lot of work. What am I going to pull a turd out of a baseball cap? It may be the purge we need. The problem with that, Dave, I sort of understand your things. You're, you know, I mean, I was at the airport empty, loving it.

You know what I mean? Not that it's really crowded at the airport I fly out of, but I understand the purge. I hate lines. I'm the most, but as far as purging, it's killing old people. They're going to go anyway. So you go a year too early. But Italy, mama mia. No pun intended.

So I get what you're saying. But a raffle, I don't do that shit. That's gimmicky. Why don't we play some type of Russian roulette that we bring in like four Asian people. One of them has it.

And then we bring somebody else in and you have to kiss something like that. I'll think of... You have to kiss one of them. You know what I mean?

Mao! Why? Halfway through the show it starts. Don't touch anything unless you have it too loud. You don't, right? Testing one, two, right there. That's where it should have been. All right.

We almost done? we almost done video of italian obituaries puts coronavirus death a toll in perspective i don't know if you guys saw this clip a video posted on social media on saturday shows a man flipping through an italian newspaper to show the obituaries of those who have died from the coronavirus in just one city putting italy's coronavirus death toll into perspective they are getting fucking whacked uh in the video a man speaking in italian can be seen flipping through a lechita de bergamo a newspaper bergamo italy which is uh just northeast of milan in the nation's lombardi region what the hell's going on out there? When I did that, could you hear me cracking, Raz?

No? So take a look at this. This is the guy. He's going through the obituaries of just the last couple days. I'm going to speak Italian. Una. Una. Due.

Due. Tre. Tre. Quattro. Quattro. Cinque. 1 e 2 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

e 10 una semplice influenza influenza grazie grazie grazie questo ragazzo questa è l'idea di lui

guarda tutti questi italiani morti guarda tutti è morto e non potremo fare nulla di questo ciao ciao

Gesù hanno avuto 386 in un giorno quel ragazzo non si vede neanche lì in basso a destra Jesus, they had 386 in one day. That kid doesn't look that old down there in the bottom to the left. Right? Who knows? Could be a picture of the rest of them do.

Holy shit. Isn't that hilarious? Well, it's not hilarious, but we have a coronavirus and the two guys debating last night to be the president are both in their late hundreds. What else we got to do to assassinate one of these guys is sneeze on them. Bring up the Shanghai Gardens. Go touch the fucking ribs. Have the chef come out. Bye bye.

Bye bye. Can you imagine? Italy got whacked. Doctors working in Italy's overcrowded hospitals say they have been forced to ration services for older, sicker patients in order to prioritize younger patients who are more likely to be saved. Listen to this. Moreover, the mayor of Bergamo had said the coronavirus patients who cannot be treated are left to die. Aye, aye, aye. Ten pages of obituaries.

I used to, I had such a bad social life in high school that I used to go through the obituaries because some of the best parties I've ever been to, I have to wake some funerals. So I just, on a Friday night, nothing to do. You rip through your obituaries and hope one of your friend's grandfather's passed away and he was Irish. Next thing you know, you're slugging Guinness and throwing up behind the casket.

Fucking high-fiving each other. Is it just me? Alright, enough of the corona shit. Oh, we have to do this one. Guess who's having a positive effect as far as making money, the coronavirus? Guess who's booming with their business? Cam girls. Now, I don't know what that is.

Raz had to explain it to me. He pulled up his, this is his cousin, Sharon. Let me tell you something. You could tell me the coronavirus originated in her ass crack. I'm going in there. To save everybody naturally. But I'm going in there. Aye, aye, aye.

Listen to this. Raz explained to me what cam girls were. Business is booming for sexy solo performers. business is booming for sexy solo performers uh as millions of hold up horn dogs look to relieve their out the guys ever stop with a pussy on their mind does it huh do they ever guys probably sitting on his dead grandmother yanking it using her for like a... To relieve their outbreak anxieties, triple X workers say. If you're trying to sell porn, having the entire country cooped up at home

with nothing to do is kind of a dream scenario, said LA-based porn star Kate Kennedy. Yummy, Katie. Katie. Kennedy, 25, opened an account a week ago on the site's OnlyFans where users pay $10 a month to watch her perform sex acts. Fold laundry in the nude.

I'm doing this. Might have to do this for new Patreon members. I'm going to do fucking random shit around the house. I am. I'll be under the sink nude. Just my ass pretending I'm working on a pipe. Maybe piano. I'll be under the sink nude, just my ass, pretending I'm working on a pipe. Maybe piano. I'm taking piano now.

Razz can shoot me playing chopsticks. Completely naked. I'm going to just lay on my bed like the girls do, only, you know, my gut's hanging out, fucking hairy tits, eating a Popsicle provocatively. Kennedy 25. Yeah, she opened an account and $10 a month. And imagine watching her

brush her teeth nude. Where are those teeth? What are they doing? Christy, get down on your knees so Sabrina can see your asshole. Phil Collins. She said, listen to this. she said she's up to 100 subscribers that's it are you fat and i'm doing better on patreon has made four figures and tips and fees

about what she typically made a month cam girls and content creators doing business like crazy kennedy said miami-based whore, I mean woman, Jocelyn Jane, who hawks sexy solo videos and partner performances on OnlyFans and sells others for $5.99 to $32 on the site ManyVids, said she has raked in about $1,700 a week in tips and sales, up from $1,050. She says there's a lot going on and we are definitely taking fans minds off this she said a she was a whore b she was a whore no

she's just an entrepreneur i guess i'm staying in and watching cam girls all night, said at hologram matrix. Where's my Corona hose at? That's what it says. Not all sex workers are raking in the Corona cash. Strippers who get up close and personal with clientele are ditching the pole. Imagine that pole. You'd be safe a lick in the goddamn handrail at LaGuardia. Yeah. So this staying home, this stripper.

She says, this stripper says, I've decided to stay as far away from all clubs. Who said that? Tyler Faith. Great name for a stripper. I have canceled quite a few appearances. I have to be safe in these times, she said. Yeah. Oh, poor you.

Poor you is right. I guarantee you, you go in a titty bar, even at lunchtime today, there'll be 90 guys in there. Coronavirus or not. No strippers, just 90 guys going, what the fuck? This is how bad it's gotten. ISIS told terrorists not to

travel to Europe. Can you imagine? The Jews are like, thank you, God, for the coronavirus. Finally, we can go to the Eiffel Tower without being fucking stabbed and shit. Imagine ISIS is cooling it. That's unbelievable. Hello, I'm man!

Hello, I'm man! Hello, I'm man! After years of urging its terrorists to attack major europeans the ice is now telling them to steer clear due to the coronavirus any sick jihadists already in europe however should stay there presumably to sicken infidels they're probably recruiting all kinds of confused asian kids online with fevers. According to Sharia, instead of blowing people up now, they just walk in and spit in your face. According to Sharia directive printed in the group's Al-Anaba newsletter, which I get every Sunday, the healthy should not enter the land of the epidemic and the afflicted should not exit from it.

The newsletter instructs jihadists that the plague is a torment sent by God on whomever he wills. Durka, Durka, Muhammad Jihad. Hakka Sherpa Sherpa, Abakala. Iraq, where most of the surviving fragments of the group remain, had 110 reported coronavirus cases on Sunday morning, 10 of them fatal.

Anyways, it's got to be pretty bad. They're not coming out of the, holy moly. Let's wrap this up with a quick, you know, there was a debate last night, but come on, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Anybody care what these old crusty fucks have to say? Joe Biden, I guess Sanders won the argument about standing up during the debate. Biden and Sanders, it was funny when they came out, I guess they bumped elbows. Check this out.

Do they keep the social isolation thing? There we go. If you were president, what's the most important? They both suffered fractured forearms. Osteoporosis. Get this through your head. Get this through your head, you. Get this through your head, you Jew motherfucker, you. Joe, that's racist.

Put him up. Put him up. Anyway. Here's Bernie going back and forth with Joe about, I don't know what. Go ahead and roll it. I'm going to ask this, the question of where the power is in America. Who owns the media? Who owns the economy?

Jews. Who owns the legislative process? I'm kidding. Why do we get tax breaks to billionaires and not raise the minimum wage? Why? Because they provide zillions of jobs. That's a joke, everybody. Where would you tax breaks to billionaires and not raise the minimum wage? Why? Because they provide zillions of jobs. That's why. He has you believing that Medicare for all and all that, he's going to pay for it by

whacking the top 1%. That won't even cover a tenth of it. They're going to soak the middle class and everybody else. Everybody's going to get whacked. He's full of shit. I love him for it. Here he is again, talking more about him and Joe talking about healthcare, free for all. Let's be honest and understand that this coronavirus pandemic exposes the incredible

weakness and dysfunctionality of our current healthcare system. We are the only major country on earth not to guarantee healthcare to all people. Pause. Really, Bernie? He keeps bringing this up. And they always point to Western European democracies, you know, countries that have 11,000 people in it, how it works so well and shit.

countries that have 11,000 people in it, how it works so well and shit. It's literally, what was the price tag for his over 10 years? $60 trillion. You'd bankrupt the country. So stop with your fucking nonsense. And it's the same lines over and over again. If people believe that, if they, you know,

people at home do the math, they're not stupid. He would be winning. He'd be winning. But people know that's a wet dream. Excuse me. Go ahead. So much money. And yet we are not even prepared for this pandemic. With all due respect to Medicare for all, you have a single payer system in Italy. It doesn't work there. It has nothing to do with Medicare for all. You have a single payer system in Italy. It doesn't work there. It has nothing to do with Medicare for all. That would not solve the problem at all. We can take care of that right now by making sure that no one has to pay for treatment, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for whatever drugs are needed, period, because of the crisis. No one has to pay for hospitalization because of the crisis. Well, somebody's got to get that is a national emergency. And that's how it's handled. It is not working in Italy

right now. And they have a single payer system in terms of get this Medicare for all despite what the experts tell us is that one of the reasons that we are unprepared and have been unprepared is we don't have a system. We got thousands of private insurance plans. That is not a system that is prepared to provide health care to all people in a good year without the epidemic. We're losing up to 60,000 people who die every year because they don't get to a doctor. Oh, I like to see. Yeah. And clearly this crisis is only making a bad situation worse. Now, this is an unprecedented situation. OK.

How's Italy doing? I'm so tired of it. We've seen story after story. The UK with their socialist single payers, the people dying, literally dying, waiting months and months to have an operation. We've heard these stories over and over again, and they're real. People like their private insurance.

Ay, ay, ay. Anyways. Problem? You're the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. Y onking jam rag, onking spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me, I'm going to put you in the fucking problem. You fucking Dr. White onking jam rag arcing spunk bubble. I'm telling you, H, you keep looking at me. I'm going to put you in the fucking ground. I promise you. Not this time. All righty. That is it for today, ladies and gentlemen. Again, thank you guys so much for contributing, whether it's NickDip.com or signing up at Patreon.

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Right? Right. Don't forget Cameo.com if you want me to send a personal video roasting one of your friends. I'd be glad to do it. Go to Cameo.com. You can tell me a little about your friend, or I can say happy birthday to your mom if you still like her. That is it.

Remember, you guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. I'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Stay safe. guitar solo guitar solo Bye.