The Nick DiPaolo Show - People Puking on Planes

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

Creep Cosby Confronted Soon. Crazy Man Attacks Fox Affiliate. 

🎵 Oh, ho, ho. How are you, folks? Welcome to the Nick DiPaolo Show on a Wednesday. Streaming live, Facebook, YouTube, always. We'll do it live. Goddamn right we will. The people deserve it. We'll do it live! Yes. Do it live! damn right we will the people deserve it we'll do it live do it live we are fucking relax

I want all of you to enjoy your cake so enjoy 833 599 Nick 833 5996425 833 599646425. 833-599-6425

is the phone number on a muggy, muggy Wednesday, ladies and gentlemen. And this episode of the Nick DiPaolo Show brought to you by bluechew.com. Guys, remember the days when you were always ready to go, back when you'd finish with a lady

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choice and we thank them for sponsoring the nick de palo show and we really do because i have a lot of horny fellas out there i I have a huge male Democrat. We're looking at the analytics and there's one girl in Oklahoma listening and she's kidnapped and tied to a radiator. So I'm told. Yeah. Hey, tonight I'm at the New York comedy club in New York city, Saturday,

September 8th, the fat black pussycat. That's this Saturday, Friday, next Friday and Saturday,ember 14 and 15 arlington draft house arlington virginia friday september 21 the orpheum theater in flagstaff arizona saturday september 29th the fat black pussycat uh then thursday october 4th i will be on louder with crowder that afternoon live in studio with him in Texas. That night, the Texas Theater in Dallas, Texas.

November 2nd and 3rd, Governor's Levittown, Long Island, New York. Friday, November 9th and Saturday, November 10th, Comics at Mohegan Sun, Uncasville, Connecticut. It's a casino. It's a great gig. I shot my raw nerve special there. I hope you people, if you're in the area that you do come out gamble your balls off have some fun shout outs what are shout outs shout outs go to people who join at the michael level which is a 30 month level where you get free hat or t-shirt 20 of

merchandise and i get to mention your name like i am right now j Joshua Patrick, who is at the Michael level. We had seven people join up since last night. So this show is doing better than expected. I can't thank you guys enough. It's just proof that people who think like us need a place to go and fucking vent. And this is it. I want to remind you guys, next Tuesday,ember 11th uh there'll be no show because i have to go to boston actually showbiz related i shot a movie called sweeney killing sweeney

steve sweeney is the star boston legend and there's a bunch of other legends in it and some of the some of the producers from the fairly brothers or whoever actually produced the movie so there's a red carpet premiere next Tuesday up in Boston so I'll be up there visit my dad my mom and uh so there'll be no show on the next Tuesday um and the following weekend I'm at the Arlington Draft House in Virginia that that weekend so that is it nine eight three three five nine nine six four two five quick update uh on the uh the Nike uh poopoo peepee um believe in something even if it means sacrificing everything maybe not everything how about about four billion. That's with a B, as in buffoons. What do you mean, Nick? The day after Nike made the big announcement,

it lost roughly $4 billion in market capital. The Wrap, that's an economic website, says it lost $3.75, but Fox News reported the number was around 4.2 billion. That's a good choice. You know, 4 billion sounds like a lot, but, you know, Phil Knight's probably got that in his pocket. He's the guy who created Nike, University of Oregon. But that's got to fucking sting.

At the time of this writing, which was about five hours ago, the sneaker company's intraday market capitalization was 127.82 bill. On Friday, that number had been 131. That's before they introduced

Jerkoff as their spokesman. Market capitalization is the market value of publicly traded companies outstanding shares and uh they're taking it right on the chin right where they fucking deserve okay a lot of people don't understand it and uh boy that was refreshing to hear it's nice to hear isn't it kind Kind of a boycott coming from the right instead of the left, which, you know, that's all they do. But nobody's happy with this,

except for Colin Kaepernick, who would be, like I said, a street sweeper in any other country. But he's getting paid millions to say what he believes. He's anti-cop, anti-law and order, and anti-American. And, yes, he looks just like jesus i believe that's what jesus looked like um i mentioned that yesterday but it dawned on me this you know when the nike thing broke that night labor day i watched florida state university at virginia tech and uh something tells me trump if he doesn't get impeached or I think he's got Florida wrapped up for as long as he runs for president, just because of, well, scenes like this.

I think it. We got that. Those are not Democrats, I'll tell you that much yeah yeah a couple of people's feelings were hurt i'm sure that was a lot of white hands doing a politically incorrect tomahawk chop which uh guarantee everyone that was doing that they might as well been doing this. Who's voting for Trump? So, yeah, I was glad to see Nike taking it on the chin. And my producer, Crackstaff, Jason handed me this story. Can I read this letter to you, folks? I'll read it as quick as possible, you know but it relates to what i was just talking about there's a woman named uh sherry potter and she

shared this uh post on facebook group called the silent majority and she did she shared it a day after nike announced the just do it colin camper that campaign so it says dear nike it's a couple pages long but it's worth reading. I want to have a conversation about this hat. It's over 13 years old. I don't remember when I bought it exactly. I don't remember where I bought it, but what I do remember is why I wore it. On August 10, 2005, I was in Newlywood with two young sons, my husband, Tim, and I had toasted our one-month anniversary the night before. I was enjoying a rare evening to myself catching up on reading and relishing the quiet until there was a knock on my door i had no way known that small act of turning a knob was about to shatter my life into a million pieces i sat numb and in

sheer disbelief as i was told that my husband while in a foot pursuit and subsequent struggle with a suspect that ended up in the road had been struck and killed by an oncoming vehicle he took his last breath lying in the middle of the street what i lost in that moment is indescribable i had to watch his mother be dealt the most agonizing blow a parent can face and i couldn't comfort her because i was in my own hell i had to find a way to gut my own children in the gentlest way possible and tell them this man they had come to love, who they looked up to, who cared for them as his own, would never walk through the door again. I don't know if you've ever attended a police journal, but watching grown men who have seen

the absolute worst thing a civilian could imagine break down and sob over the casket of their brother is an image that never leaves you. The bagpipes haunt my dreams to this day, but it was the faces of my children, the innocence that abandoned them at such a tender age that brought me to my knees. I had no choice but to move on. We trudged zombie-like through our days for weeks and weeks on end.

I never left the house except to drive the boys to school or buy food we barely touched. I realized that I had to do something. I had to move my body or I was going to crawl out of my skin. So I put on the only cap I had, went for a run. It was short, it was hurt, and it was ugly. But I felt just for those moments on that road like a normal person. So I kept doing it. I put that hat on and I ran every day. Sometimes I had to stop and sit down because I was sobbing so hard. Sometimes I was so angry I ran until I thought my heart would stop.

Sometimes I would just scream over and over again, but it still felt better than doing nothing. That black cap became a symbol to me. It is sweat-stained and its shape is gone. The buckle in the back barely closes, but that hat represents my family's rise from the ashes. It stands for the strength and the sacrifice we made loving a man who had a job that we all know could end his life every time he walked out that door and it did and i accept that i still wear this hat i wore it on my run this morning and then i heard about your new ad campaign colin kaepernick has the absolute right to protest

anything he damn well pleases i don't dispute that for one second. My father, my husband, and many, many friends have all served this country and were willing to fight for his right to kneel. But that right goes both ways. I also have a right to express my disgust at your decision to portray him as some kind of hero. What exactly has Colin Kaepernick sacrificed? His multi-million dollar paycheck? Nope. You already gave him one of those. His reputation? No. He's been fawned over by celebrities and media alike.

Funny, Tim Tebow was never called courageous when he knelt. This man whose contempt for law enforcement fits him like a sock has promoted an agenda that has been proven false time and time again, which I said yesterday, in study after study, but facts don't seem to matter anymore. This man has thrown his support behind divisive anti-police groups and donated money directly to a fugitive from justice who escaped prison after killing a police officer. I question the judgment of anyone who would put someone this controversial

and divisive at the head of an advertising campaign, but it isn't my company to run. I don't know if I'll have the heart to ever get rid of this cap, but I will tell you this. I'll never purchase another Nike product as long as I live. You got this one wrong, Nike.

Terribly, terribly wrong. Sherry Grayman Potter, surviving spouse of Deputy Tim Graham. And I thought that was poignant and relative to what we were talking about um sherry we feel your pain and um you don't know what to do with that cap there's a couple let me give put my two cents in if your husband's looking down on you and uh he was a cop killing the line of duty and he saw what uh n Nike was doing with Kaepernick, who

was so anti-cop with his pig socks and whatnot, I don't think he'd have a problem with you burning that fucking hat or throwing it out or whatever. But because it's still an inspiration to you and you want to hold on to it, just get like a sheriff star or a police star and sew it over the Nike swoosh and keep running. I can't imagine. I don't even have kids, but I can't imagine having lost your husband and having to tell your kids. And that's what I'd do. If you want to keep the hat, just hide the swoosh.

Put the cop star on it. Now I'm going to tell a little story that's kind of related. Not half as poignant or touching. But this is true. It's actually funny. I was living in a tarry town. I don't know. Right up to 2001.

Right around then. And remember the night Steve Bartman fucked up the cubs fan interfere with the foul ball you guys remember that well that night i had an argument with my wife i was watching that game and i stormed out of the condo and went for a walk it was a muggy night i had shorts on a t-shirt socks and and my running shoes and uh about a mile from my house i got stricken with uh you know diarrhea pains i actually had to scale i'm not proud of this the lynn hearst castle wall and i had no choice i was climbing over it was like it was like i was having labor pains and uh climbed over and had to relieve myself. I'm not trying to get gross here on the Lynnhurst Castle lawn.

Anyways, now I need something to wipe myself with. So I take my T-shirt off thinking I'll use that. What's the T-shirt I'm wearing? It was from a benefit that I did for New York firefighters after 9-11 with all the firefighters who died in it. Could you make this up, fellas? I mean, this is a scene right out of a... And I was in a predicament. I'm going,

I can't. I have to. I have to. So I ended up using my socks and my underwear and leaving the shirt intact. Now, i know that's not half as touching as what i just read you about but i'm just saying i couldn't bring myself to do that that's something fucking muhammad attar's cousin would have done

walked home with no socks on a muggy night had blisters the size of silver dollars. So I guess the Cubs lost that night. My wife won that one, I'd have to say. But I did not give in. 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425. So, Jason, thanks for finding it. That was pretty cool, actually. Sherry Potter's post was shared on Facebook,

a group called the Silent Majority, a day after Nike announced that Just Do It thing. She is the vice president of recruitment for the Arizona chapter of Concerns of Police Survivors, an organization that supports the families of fallen police officers. She lives in Tucson. And thank you. Thank your husband for his service. of fallen police officers. She lives in Tucson. And thank you.

Thank your husband for his service. What's going on? We had this when I woke up this morning. What? A man intentionally crashes his truck into Fox 4 Studios in Dallas. Starts ranting before arrest. A man who was upset about an officer-involved shooting intentionally crashed his truck into the side of the studios, Fox 4 in Dallas, early Wednesday, before jumping out of the

vehicle and starting ranting before he was arrested. We actually have some footage or video of the aftermath. Look at this fucking maniac. His name was David Fry or something, some psycho. But he got out and he started ranting and raving. And we all know what that's like. I don't want you to protest. I don't want you to riot.

I don't want you to write to your congressman because I wouldn't know what to tell you to write. waving, and we all know that's right. Dallas police investigated for several hours to make sure nothing was in a bag left outside the station. No injuries were reported. As Dallas public information officer Deborah Webb said, the officers made contact with the suspect and took the man into custody without incident. Suspect is identified as 34-year-old Michael Chadwick Frye, described as being in an agitated mental state. Gee, you think? Will face charges for criminal mischief. Frye was previously arrested in 2016 in Denton County.

He was also arrested in Dallas County. And bop, bop, bop, bop, bop. I got to call Fox News. There he is. Well, he looks, he doesn't look crazy at least. He has those normal eyes. Jesus H. That's why I'm for profiling.

I saw those eyes anywhere. I'd call the cops. This guy either wants to kill me or fuck me. I don't know. But Fox News, I got to call them a little bit on this, because they try to equate this to Chuck Todd. You know, Chuck Todd said it's time to start fighting back against the media, because Trump was calling the media out on their horseshit, rightfully so.

But the first stories in the morning try to kind of connect his actions to that. But then, you know, later on in the day it said he was upset about an officer involved shooting. And that's why he crashed his truck into the side of the Fox Studios. So, you know, I don't think they're related. You don't know. The guy's fucking crazy.

Reporter Brandon Todd said that Fry stood outside the building saying something about high treason, ranted about a sheriff's department, and then held up papers against the window. Cuckoo for Cocoa Puff. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert.

But Chuck Todd is full of fucking shit. You know. And a lengthy essay for The Atlantic, the Meet the Press host and NBC News political director, that's Chuck Todd, argued the media needs to start fighting back against its critics. How fucking dare you? Your approval ratings, the press, is lower than Congress.

You're lower than worm shit. Okay? You're part of the most corrupt institution in this fucking country. No doubt about it. Especially NBC. After seeing the Weinstein story being buried that Ronan Farrow did. Not to mention all the fucking pro-Obama shit you did while he was running. And you're fucking disgusting.

Time to fight back? You've been lying about the right for 40 years, and then Trump comes along, has the balls to point out how full of shit you are, so now it's time to fight back. Ooh, fucking big tough guy. He says, I'm not advocating for a more activist press in the political sense, but for a more aggressive one. That means having a lower tolerance for talking points and a greater willingness to speak plain truths. Yeah, that's exactly what you don't do on NBC.

It means not allowing ourselves to be spun and not giving guests or sources a platform to spin our readers and viewers, even if that angers them. Oh, my God, this guy's making me sick to my stomach. You fucking hypocrite. Yeah, exactly. You smug cocksucker. Fuck you. Oh! Todd says that aggression should come

in the form of defending their reporting in the face of cries of fake news. The idea that our work will speak for itself is hopelessly naive, he wrote. But then this is where he gets Fox, Limbaugh, and the rest of the trump echo chamber have proved that how fucking dare you that's all you have is uh fox news and they don't echo the go watch shepherd smith for 10 minutes he hates trump more than anybody so do a lot of other people on that on that channel okay echo

chamber are you dog styling me? How fucking hypocritical. How about the New York Times? That's where you get your. I can't remember. Did you guys. Do you set the talking points for today? For the New York Times?

Or they set it for you? Not to mention CBS. ABC. NBC. CNN. CNN. CNN. Who actually helped fucking rig the debate against Bernie. Remember Donna Brazile having the questions beforehand?

It just fucking fries my apples. Trump comes along and points out how full of shit they are and how crooked they are, and he says it's time to fight back. What an asswipe this guy is. The U.S. media is facing an assault of distrust by an American public, argued Todd. Yes, not because of Fox News. They just came around the last few years.

You guys have been around. Meet the Press is the oldest TV show on the goddamn planet. And you're going to blame Fox and Rush Limbaugh? Really? Your low approval ratings have nothing to do with Fox. They're talking about you. Not to mention we have

study after study, media research studies saying, what was it, almost 96% of the press coverage against Trump has been negative in the mainstream media. Where do you get your fucking balls.

You've got to be kidding me Chucky. Again he goes after. He takes aim at. Conservative media including Rush Limbaugh. Matt Drudge. And Fox News trio. Of Sean Hannity. Tucker Carlson and and Laura Ingraham

accusing them of gaining power and wealth by exploiting the fears of older white Americans. Just like you exploit the fears of young brown people, whether they be legal or illegal immigrants or college students, you know, uninformed people who don't know shit about the world. And you cherry-p picking race stories every time a fucking black suspect is shot and and never you know never depicting crime the way it really is race wise who the fuck are you kidding you're the reason that nobody trusts the fucking press okay that's all the right has is fox news and it it's not that right. And Limbaugh and Mark Levin.

You guys have the rest of it, whether it's magazines and social media. So stop your fucking whining, Chucky. He says there's some great journalists at Fox, including Chris Wallace, Brett Baer, and Shep Smith, who hates fucking Trump. But it's not an organization that emphasizes journalism. Ha ha ha ha! How about the Hollywood Access tape?

Huh, NBC? Where you said, Trump, we have him saying he likes to grab pussies and shit. Right before the election. You have to be fucking kidding me. Our father, who art in heaven. God, help me, man. You fucking irrit kidding me. Our father who art in heaven. God, help me, man.

You fucking irritate me. You fucking hypocrite. Yeah. 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425. Call in, would you? I'd like to talk to you. It's exhausting. It's exhausting.

It really is. Let's break it up with a little Paul Lynn, shall we? Time for a little cleansing of the palate. When the citizens of China want a drink of water, they always do something to it first. What? Remove the shirts.

Holy shit, is that racist oh my goodness Henry Kissinger recently was quoted as saying they aren't even sexy what was he referring to the Joint Chiefs of Staff chiefs of staff. You guys don't remember him, do you? Oh, funny gay fella. Mean drunk, too. In ancient times, it was illegal to park your chariot in certain

places in the biblical city of Nineveh. What was the penalty if you did so? They, uh, let all the air out of your horse. I love that guy. Him and Wayne Newton. Remember Wayne Newton, the lesbian from the, uh, early 70s?

Turned into a macho guy and a huge hit. Were you here? You weren't here, were you, Ryan, for that clip? No, I wasn't. Good. You would have appreciated it. You would have loved it.

We'll play it later on. Maybe. Let's get on to some lighter news, shall we? Boy 15 years old beheaded himself with chainsaw after losing computer game. Oh, my God. himself with chainsaw after losing computer game. Russian police are investigating claims a boy beheaded himself with a chainsaw after losing a computer game.

Rush. According to reports, Pavel Mativ, 15, went into his yard Monday morning before he switched on a chainsaw and sawed off his own head. Fuck him, baby. I was a sore loser. I don't know if that's being a sore loser or a good loser. I remember playing a football game. My dad was playing with some kids in the neighborhood. And we lost.

So I punted the football into the field behind our house. Right into a big thing of poison ivy. And my dad made me crawl in and get it. And I flipped over many a game board. Many times. Fucking Monopoly. Never had a mind for business. Just would fucking flip it over.

I had $11 left and, you know, shit like that. And another time in high school, I dislocated my shoulder and they put it back and I went back into the game and it came out again. And that was it. They and they put it back in. I went back into the game, and it came out again. And that was it. They couldn't get it back in. So out of frustration, they were leading me out of the field. You know, there's a track around the field. There was about six cans of Coca-Cola. I thought they were empty, so I kicked them.

And they went all over our athletic director, Dick Lynch. Covered him. I didn't even know about it. I just kicked him out of anger. And then my dentist, who was my girlfriend's dad at the time, the next day I had an appointment. He goes, boy, you're a bit of an asshole, huh, when you lose your temper. But this can't, is this true?

How do you saw your own head off with a come on i don't even know if i believe it is this russia meddling in our elections again how i don't know but um but here's the thing about this it's unclear what computer game he was playing i think he was playing saw your head off was playing Saw Your Head Off. But a female source said Pavel spent hours at his computer and that his nerves gave in after a game. Is that what you call that? The local office of the Russian investigative committee gave no further details except to confirm a criminal case

had been opened into incitement to suicide. Russia has seen several so-called death groups that's in quotes allegedly incite children and teenagers to take their own lives whilst playing online games that's not just uh uniquely russian that's like i heard that's a game going all over the fucking can you imagine how evil a fucking world yeah if you're going to incite people to take their own lives do it to the press in this country love to see fucking rachel maddow hanging from a fucking noose or wolf blitzer or chuck todd not a real noose i didn't mean a real just a fake one can you imagine inciting kids

to kill themselves and you guys believe in humanity you people on the far left think we're all gonna hold hands and fucking live together in peace

we're the most flawed species on this planet 833-599-6425 833-599-6425 833-599-6425. 833-599-6425. God, I'd like to get up and pee right now, but that wouldn't be prudent. Wouldn't be prudent. What do we got here?

Coffee and Baileys. Jason looks like the fucking woman from Time Magazine with his headphones on. Take a call. Ryan, what are you doing? Giving yourself some camera time? Oh, I see. You're giving me a shot of Jason.

Hey, this is good news for you progressives. You far-left fucking loony ticks. There's a woman named Ayanna Pressley. She's a black woman out of Boston. She ousted a 20-year incumbent, Michael Capuano, in the Massachusetts primary. Shocker. She's like the black version of, what was her name? Ortez. You know, the socialist out of the bronx here in new york or whatever who wilted under the lights after they asked her a few follow

up questions um but um yeah another major upset of a democratic congressman took place in Massachusetts Tuesday. Ayanna Pressley, 44-year-old Boston City Councilor, triumphed over 20-year incumbent Rep. Michael Capuano by a double-digit margin. Bye-bye, dickhead. But I'm so silly. Oh, let's go to our Mark in Albany. Again, this is the guy that lived under... Wait, was I talking about video games? I was.

He lived under communist rule in Poland. So his idea of a video game was two rocks and a stick and two cans with a string and whatever. Mark, how are you? Mark. God damn it, Mark, you're on hello i guess he uh is all he's not there mark god damn communist gonna have to call back mark sorry anyways what jumped out at me of this story is my hometown of boston every time it's talked about by uh black athletes or even my friends and shit oh you're from racist boston yeah it's sorry by the

way this district was up you know cambridge and part of boston and and um so not exactly but that's all you hear about how racist it is and um it couldn't be further from the truth that might have been the case in the 70s when busing was going on but uh she's the first woman of color and don't say colored people because that fucking pisses off liberals and black people don't say that's antiquated don't say colored people then i say but you refer to yourself as people of color so now you're just bullying me semantically. And you just want a race war. Why don't you just admit it?

Colored people is the wrong thing to say. But we call ourselves people of color. Okay. Now you're just picking on me. Her campaign was defined in part by a slogan that appeared on the walls of the operations headquarters. And this is her campaign. And it's such a lighthearted, typical, the people closest to the pain should be closest to the power.

Driving and informing the policymaking. Yes, all the people on welfare, whatever color, all the people who are downtrodden, shooting drugs, sleeping on park benches, they should be running shit, is what she's saying. Fucking nitwit. Fucking nitwit. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. That's quite a saying, though.

Don't give me that smart-alecky shit. The Democratic congresswoman from Mass is one of the House's most staunch progressives. She characterized herself as someone who would be more of an activist leader. That's what we need more of. After eight years of Obama, how'd that work? You lost over a thousand seats at all levels of government. But you keep pushing that. You guys are giving Trump a fastball down the middle come 2020.

Gonna knock it fucking 850 feet. Here's where they disagreed, her and Capuano. On the funding of President Trump's wall, Capuano said he could support it if it was tucked into a broader immigration reform peg. Presley claimed she wouldn't compromise on the issue. She also challenged Capuano on his vote for a so-called Blue Lives Matter bill. Listen to this. Kaepernick would love this.

A bill which would impose harsher penalties for crimes against members of law enforcement. That's what her opponent was for. Additionally, in a recent debate, Capuan said he supported the message of the NFL players who have chosen to kneel in the protests against police brutality but question the tactics. Presley had said that she supports both the action and the message because she hates this fucking country deep down.

She hates everything it stands for. She hates how it was fucking founded. And yet they elected her in Cambridge because that's what Boston stands for, where it all started, the Tea Party and whatnot. My ball is fucked. Let's go to Ramsey in San Fran.

Ramsey, what's going on, fella? Ramsey. What's going on, guys? This is the second call. Is this on guys? This is second call. Is this on us? I'm not sure we're working on it. It's not. Everything is how it's normally supposed to be set in here.

Okay. Well, I don't know what's going on, but, uh, let's try Mark again in Albany. And if we can't get to him, I'm skipping the callers.

Mark, you're on nah it's something something's up fellas that's all right i'll spin these plates for the next fucking next hour on my own you guys work on it let me know when you get it figured out um anyways you know what she's she for, this woman in Boston? And again, they're comparing her to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. This is what Ms. Presley's also for. She advocates Medicare for All and the abolition of the ICE, Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency.

Keep it coming. Uh-oh, retard alert. Retard alert. She worked under Joe Kennedy. Another fucking leftist jagoff. And John Kerry, another presidential loser. You know, the guy with the head. John Kerry has that head that looks like,

ever watch like the Milwaukee Brewers? They have those mascot braces with the giant fucking, just what he looks like. But that's what my city of Boston has turned into. It's Cambridge right now. But she wants to abolish ICE. So you know her heart's in the right place. So

another progressive. I think what's going to happen is the same thing with her that happened to Ocasio-Cortez whatever her name was. You can't give everybody free health care. It only works in tiny white western European countries. We're too big for that. Do the

math. Yet somehow she wins for that. Do the math. Yet somehow she wins the election. And right fucking two feet from Harvard. Maybe some of the dumbest people live there. Should I try Bunny Galore, guys? Huh? Should I try Bunny? Getting a bunch of blanks there.

Sorry, say again? Should I try Bunny Galore on line two? Try Bunny. Bunny? Hello, Bunny? Yeah, no. God fucking damn it. We don't need to hear that.

Let me curse you guys out after. You hiding your little rat hole. Anyways anyways that's what's going on in my hometown and uh it's taken a i knew it was little blue massachusetts but it's it's getting ridiculous and uh i tasted some of that when i did the comics come home thing a few years ago but again not as racist i always hear that from other comics. Boston, oh yeah, you're fucking city so racist. And I always come back with this. Who's safer? Who is safer, a white guy in downtown,

let's say Atlanta at three in the morning, or a black guy in downtown Boston at three? That's my litmus test. I think we all know the answer to that. So quit calling Boston racist. Remember Adam Jones, the center fielder for the Orioles? Somebody used the N-word in the

bleaches, some drunken, and that turned into a national story. And he handled it classily. But like that, they tried to smear Boston with Oh, that's old Boston. Typical Boston shit. No, that's some drunken assholes at Fenway. Speaking of race, let's go to my favorite, Bill Cosby, to face wall of accusers at rape sentencing.

By the way, his star on the Walk of Fame, somebody vandalized it. But it's funny, even that's not even equal. When they vandalized Trump, they took a pickaxe to it. With Bill Cosby, they just used a Sharpie and wrote serial rapist on it. Cosby faces a move from the Montgomery County DA

to have a course of accusers damningly come to court to detail their experiences with the man and crimes he may have committed. And I think we all know what we're talking about. This is rape! This is rape! This is rape! Quit your screaming, Mammy.

Just drop some vitamins into your yoo-hoo. Drink it up. The Commonwealth intends to present numerous witnesses those are all the a lot of the women that cosby uh allegedly which we all know he did uh will testify that the defendant sexually abused them uh they're gonna march all these women out not all of them most of them a lot of them before the sentencing hearing to set on september 24th and run for up to two days. Yeah? Yes, sir?

Never mind, never mind. Sorry, man. Ryan? Nothing? All right. So he's in deep shit. But I like this, ooh, do we have to put an ankle bracelet on him? Because, you know, people have to know where he lives because he's on a sex offender.

Like, you really have to, nobody's going to know it's Cosby. He's the only black guy almost 80 years old with a white nose and he's legally blind. I don't think he's real. It's like Uncle Junior

on The Sopranos. They said he was a flight threat. He's like, I've been farting into the same sofa cushion for 10 years. Where am I going? But I love it. I love that he's finally getting called out on shit

the victims in court live testimony will provide the necessary evidentiary link between the defendant and the uncharged prior conduct not specifying exactly how many of the more than 60 women more than 60 and they all have the same story that's why i tend to believe them have claimed cosby drugged and raped them will actually be brought into court um of course cosby's uh lawyers say it's a publicity stunt blah blah blah already essentially under house arrest and with his newish lawyers do they mean jewish it says newish and they do mean newish because he's got new lawyers. But I was making a little joke, Jewish lawyer joking. The 81-year-old Cosby is looking at decades. No, he's not.

He's looking at about two weeks because he's going to be dead in decades. He's not going anywhere. You could leave him naked out in his backyard. He couldn't find his way out. I don't really think he's a threat. backyard he couldn't find his way out i don't really think he's a threat um yeah he could be looking at decades behind bars based uh based on the uh conviction now you will learn about loss loss of freedom loss of humanity now you and i will truly be the same, Johnson. I had a little Cosby bit. I might have played it on the show before.

I'm not sure. But I have a bit on Bill Cosby and his problems. Stand up a bit. Here it is. And it's relevant because this thing's still happening. Bill Cosby's going on trial. Talk about next month. I can't wait for that.

Everybody is so shocked on that story. Ooh, a black rapist from Philly. What are the odds? What the hell? How outlandish. I never liked Cosby and I know he's fucking guilty.

I know this. I took my uncle to see him in Atlantic City like 12 years ago. My uncle loves Bill Cosby. I went in the green room after I introduced myself. So I know he's guilty guilty. I know. I took my uncle to see him in Atlantic City like 12 years ago. My uncle loves Gold Closet. I went in the green room after I introduced myself. So I know he's guilty. I shook his hand. Next thing I remember, I'm waking up in his hotel on the floor. We're wearing nothing but a Temple University t-shirt.

I had a pudding popper after, stuck to my back and my ass. I just remember hearing him go, I'm going to stick your dick in your ass, you little penis mother fucker. You little dick. I can't do a good Cosby. It sounds like a white woman stroking out. Which is what he was listening to after the pills.

All my black comedian friends do a great cosplay. They have him raping, like, 15 different people, and they have, like, a 20-minute material. I can do a good Popeye impression. If Popeye rapes somebody, I'll have a new 20 minutes. Suck me dick, Oliver. That's consensual. Wow! Suck me dick and let me ask those.

Oh, that's filthy. That's filthy. Hear that Popeye impression? I was doing that in fourth grade and murdering my classmates. And I blame it for the reason I get into it. That's the first time I knew what it was like to make a bunch of people laugh.

And I blame that impression. And cut to me at the age of, well, that was a couple, a years ago, 55, doing Popeye. But it was a rape Popeye Cosby bit. Come on. Thumbs up to me on that one. What do you think, kids? Should I try?

You don't pay us to think, Nick. I don't know what that means, Jason. You're sucking the life out of me. Have we figured it out yet? You don't have a way of knowing, do you? You want me to click on them? All right. Was there something unplugged?

Somebody spill a big gulp on the computer? Let's try this again. And if it doesn't work, the next thing you're going to see is me going into that producer's booth that cost me an arm and a leg. And you're going to just see blood squirting against the glass. And you can report me if you'd like.

Oh, we're going to do a test call? Is that what we're doing? Let's do a test call on the air. That's fucking genius. Hello, caller, are you with me you guys go shit in your hat i'm done with the phones for today anyways so anyways with cosby he's gonna be in the same room with a lot of his accusers and shit and uh I love it. By the way, whoever vandalized his thing, they cleaned it up minutes after. As opposed to, you know, Trump's thing.

They left there. But then again, they took a pickaxe to do it. Finally, a couple of things. The airplane. You know I hate flying, folks. You know that's why I. If I do fly, I usually. it's got to be under three hours because i just can't i always get sick when i fly always come back with a cold or whatnot and you know the plane is just a giant petri dish with fucking wings they keep it

like 75 degrees because if they lower that a couple of broads, an 11G will complain that the nipples are hard and it's fucking freezing. So they keep it at a toasty, like 78. Just, you know, just the right temperature to fucking, you know, to create all kinds of jaundice and whatnot. Well, I don't know if you've been following the last couple of days,

two flights, two flights where people got, 147 passengers evacuated from a Boeing 737 in France over fear of cholera outbreak. This is crazy. The emergency alert happened at the airport in Pebignan, France. I know I'm butchering that, but I don't like France anyways. Which had just arrived from Oran, Algeria what are you doing in algeria what could you possibly be doing in algeria

i know i'm sure there's some nice places in algeria i'm just saying i would never get on a plane from fucking algeria uh even if they open a funny bone there emergency services then took uh Funny bone there. Emergency services then took, passengers were cleared from the plane after it landed. Okay. They took a child off the plane to undergo tests. They thought that this kid had cholera.

Others on board were all made to disinfect their hands and their details were taken for monitoring. It comes after 100 people were taken ill. This is a different flight now, on an Emirates flight from Dubai to New York City. It's fucking gross. Cholera. Cholera. Cholera is an infection of the small intestine. It kills up to 130 large.

That's 130,000 people every year, you know, in shitholes, as Trump would call them. You know, countries that haven't cured athletes' foot, or fucking dandruff. Infecting 5 million people a year. There was an outbreak of cholera in Algeria earlier this year, which killed two people. It's highly contagious and can be transferred by contact with infected fecal matter or contaminated food or water.

Imagine eating on a plane with a pack of food in some third world shithole. You all know the Plains of Petri dish. We have the picture of that guy pissing on the back seat. I'm scared to death every time. That might have something to do with it. This guy right here, somebody like that,

just went down on somebody, you know, some woman in Nigeria who weighed 11 pounds, and then he's too lazy to get up, and he's pissing his AIDS slash Hep C urine into the back pocket. Don't worry about it. The show's almost over, kids. Don't worry about the calls. Too almost over kids don't worry about the calls too late okay too fucking late uh this guy is urinating and um yeah so that's two planes in the last couple days

almost a hundred people uh were sick some of them cleared customs but that follows a story from the other day that says the highest levels of virus is at airports found in plastic security trays you know those things you put your who would have guessed the bins that you put your shoes in after you walk through urine-filled streets in all countries all over the world they put your shoes in those bins and then you put your coat in there your fucking cell phone and shit and uh places the lotion in the basket yes it does um those security trays have the highest level of viruses at airports. Pandemic experts found evidence of viruses on 10% of airport service tested, which also includes shop payment terminals, staircase rails, passport check-in counters,

and children's play areas. Basically, the whole airport. Anything grosser going into an international terminal, like a JFK to use the men's room at like 5 in the morning? You get businessmen from all over the world. It's like walking into an international coffee shop. You get 19 different aromas coming from 19 different stalls. And, you know, not everybody washes their fucking hands.

And then they get on that escalator. And then they take their phone and put it in the bin that you're going to put your shirt in and shit. If you want to kill, seriously, if you want to start a pandemic or whatever, and I can't believe this hasn't started yet, but you take some microcosm, some germ that could wipe out, you know, 100,000 people, and all you got to do is to get it onto a plane, right? They didn't have this back in the day with cholera and stuff. But the plane flies, lands in, let's say, New York City.

180 people get off that plane, and they disperse throughout the greater New York, spreading, whatever. And it's coming. I hate to be a pessimist, but that's how you kill millions and millions of people. And you should see me in a men's bathroom or the bathroom on an airplane. I'm trying to flush it with my fucking feet. Sometimes I'll wash my hands, but what's the point? Then you grab that doorknob on the way out when some fucking medicine chief from Nigeria

has got the blood of a dead goat on his hands. And then you grab that doorknob and then you sit down and they go, would you like a snack pack? Yes. Could I get the one with the flax seeds?

I don't want to get... I'm eating healthy today. Meanwhile, you got the fecal matter of a fucking tribal chieftain on your hands. But 147 passengers evacuated. And it's getting kind of gross. You know?

That's why I don't fucking travel. And I don't laugh at people that have those. It's always Asian people that have that surgical mask on. And people point and laugh at them. And I see their point. I'm just very vain. I spent 45 minutes on my hair and I want to look good on the plane.

I'm not going to put on a surgical mask. Hide my pouty lips. What if the captain finds me attractive? What the fuck else did i want to talk about uh going into uh yeah tonight i'm in the city at uh new york comedy club i guess they have a couple locations now apparently stand-up comedy is booming oh i wanted to remind you to look out for me on owen benjamin i did his show today his podcast, and it was really funny. He had me on for about 20 minutes, and he's creepy smart. And I guess he's in a beef with my buddy Joe Rogan.

I like both those guys. I can't keep up with this shit. It's the New Age soap operas. They're getting beefs over Alex Jones and these people. Oh, don't listen to him and blah, blah, blah. I like both those guys. I'm not going to get in the middle of it. But look out for that on his podcast.

I don't know when he releases it. Maybe today, tonight. I don't know. I really don't follow the stuff that closely. Maybe I should. But I'm going into the city tonight and do the religious stuff that I tested on you guys yesterday. And it's tricky.

Because you go into. Just picture this. This is what stand-ups go through. You go down to a club. And let's say the guy's on before you. And he's trying to. He wants to become a regular at the club. He's doing the best 15 he's ever had.

And he's destroying the shit out of it. Now I want to go up there with new material. And try new stuff. Why? Because I'm only going to get paid like 30 for driving all the way from here into the city gas is 50 60 bucks or whatever tolls are 12 i have to get something done on stage i can't go in drive that far and just do proven material i i get nothing out of it but picture that you get out you're walking downstairs at the comedy

cell or whatever and there's a roar from the comic is on before you go up there you can do a little I get nothing out of it. But picture that. You're walking downstairs at the Comedy Cell or wherever, and there's a roar from the Comic-Con before. You can do a little proven stuff up front, but then I break out the new shit, which I'm going to tonight. That's like a six-minute chunk on religion. And I was actually rehearsing it today. I spoke into my voice memo and listened to it back. That's one of the tricks that you can do.

And I actually like the religious shit. I called a buddy of mine who's a really funny dude. He's the reason I got into comedy. And I tried it out on him, and he was fucking crying. He's usually a good barometer. But the problem is you get up in front of a live audience, and, you know, if you forget one or two words, the whole bit can go right into the toilet.

But that's why I'm driving into the city tonight and I'm getting close to a new hour again I put all my effort into this but I want to put out a new album you have to keep doing that especially since if Sirius keeps playing it that's residual money the other thing I want to tell you

about my agent sent me something. There's some producers that work for Netflix or they have their own production company, but they have an in it Netflix. And they want to do a series about a baseball player who didn't make it to the big leagues or he almost made it to the big leagues. And so now he's like coaching.

He's a hitting instructor but he gambles and um he's kind of politically incorrect he's got two kids and he's not the best role model supposedly not off this is my agent saying that they they were they want me they want me to read for this they think i i could bring a lot to this part so um that's sometime in october which i i my agent sends me a lot of this shit and i i could bring a lot to this part so um that's sometime in october which i i my agent sends me a lot of this shit and i turn it down because of this um i i can't just blow off a whole week but i said to them a couple weeks ago only if they ask for me specifically which doesn't happen often because i'm not that famous but thanks to appearances on louis and stuff um you know this one and again i don't know if it's my agent blowing smoke mess that they asked for me specifically so i have the script

upstairs and uh i'm gonna read it and i know what's gonna happen i've told the story before i'm gonna read it i'm gonna go into the and I'm going to look at five guys sitting across me that I recognize from television who have resumes 40 feet long. And I'm going to actually, it happened when I was living in LA. I'd go into an audition, and Ed Marinaro was at every audition. I saw a couple of guys from Goodfellas, Johnny Roast Beef. He was at like three of my auditions. Do you know how discouraging that is? You walk in and you see these guys who are seasoned actors,

and you're like, why the fuck would they want anything to do with me? But they mentioned me specifically. It starts off as a web series. You know what that means? We're going to do a whole series. We're not going to pay you because it's a web series, although I guess there's some new SAG rules. And what happens is if it does well that's the new incubator they do a web series on the internet and if it does well there numbers wise i don't know how they count them

they'll they'll uh try to turn it into a tv show this is what i've been going through for 30 fucking years and uh the sopranos things was was the best i auditioned for that and i was a comedy seller sitting around with a bunch of guys eating when i got the call from my agent saying that i could do that so but i don't do it anymore i'm not going to drive in face uh steve schripper and 90 guys with resumes three times longer than mine unless they fucking ask for me so that's going to be in the middle of October. I got to read the script. But it sounds pretty good.

The guy's a degenerate gambler and he gives his son's shitty advice. Naturally, they're not going to portray a dad as good. But that's okay because he's an ex-jock and it could be good. I don't know. That's about all I have. I have to run into the city now.

We'll smoke a cigarette before I go. Still haven't kicked that habit. If somebody wants to let me know. And don't tell me about Chantix. I can't see Ray Liotta's wax face anymore. I thought I was a tough guy. And I couldn't quit smoking. And then I tried Chantix.

And it froze my face like this. But I have to whip that habit. I'm starting to smoke in my car and that's a no-no. I do not want to ruin a Toyota Corolla in 1997. It's fascinating. I get nothing else, kids. That is it. Thank you for tuning in. And remember, Mondays and Wednesdays are free. And as you know, as you're watching this on YouTube or Facebook Live. But if you want to subscribe, patreon.com.

Go to nickdip.com to sign up for the other two shows, the Tuesday and Thursday shows. Seven people since last night. It's still climbing. So somebody's liking it. Okay? So I want to thank you for tuning in. Remember,. So, somebody's liking it. Okay? So, I want to thank you for tuning in. Remember, you guys, keep your chin up. Fuck mainstream media. Fuck social media.

Jack Dorsey at Twitter. Just keep your fucking chin up. Keep speaking what's on your mind. Eventually, it's going to get physical and ugly. It's going to be a civil war. Could be next Tuesday. Could be four years from now.

But it seems like we're heading that way. Does it not? You think it. I'll say it. You're welcome. And I'll catch you guys tomorrow, hopefully. © BF-WATCH TV 2021 Thank you. you