The Nick DiPaolo Show - President's Poll Numbers Peaking | Nick Di Paolo Show #322

Episode Date: March 25, 2020

Biden still a clown. Trump joking around. Waffle House shuts down. Thank you Jonathan A. from Cary, NC for submitting and "Ask Nick!" question and for your continued support! FREE! MONDAY - THURSDAY 5PM EST #Trump #MAGA #ABreathOfFreshAir

Good evening, my fellow Americans. You know what I'm sick of? Being told what's acceptable comedy and what isn't. Okay? I know what is. It's all acceptable. There is no line. People always go, where's that line that you...

There is no line. That's in your head. We live in the United States. It's freedom of speech. I'm sick of this society where everybody gets a trophy. Everybody is the same. Couldn't be further from the truth. Some people are better than others.

You just can't say that out loud. But I have been since 1988, okay? And that's why this show was created, the Nick DiPaolo Show, Monday through Thursdays. You can watch it. You can watch it for free now. And because it's for free now,

we need your contributions financially. You can also sign up at patreon.com. There's two ways to do that. But more than ever, because the show is free, we need your contributions to keep it alive. And I'm going to keep calling it like I see it. I'm the original deplorable. If you don't believe it, watch Tough Crowd reruns. They go back to the late 90s.

I was saying this stuff. There's a lot of johnny come lately's out there who are taking credit for being politically incorrect now they never were this jumping on the bandwagon this is it's in my dna and people know that i'm selling out shows and thank god i have the best fans in the world and that's why we're giving the show a monday through thursday if you're watching it on youtube just click that button right now to subscribe like i said you can make a contribution at nickdip.com. Just click on the Nick DiPaolo show. I promise you, I will continue to speak the truth because there's two types of people,

politically correct and people who speak the truth. You and I are in the latter. I will continue to do that if you support the show. I can't tell you how much my fans mean to me. That is it. I want you all to enjoy the show. So, enjoy. How are you folks? Welcome to the show and uh Necktie by Richard Wood. Thank you, Richie Oh him a call. I haven't talked to him in a while and uh before I get going I gotta get to this Uh, my wife told me to watch a show called council of dads last night

And it was on NBC. And it's about a guy who gets cancer and he thinks he's going to die and he's got a family. So he wants a couple of his buddies to be a council of dads after he's gone to take care of whatever the fuck. Just by the title. Anytime you see something on NBC, a drama, and it's got the word dads in it, you know, they're just setting up to emasculate dads. That's that's where it's headed. But know, they're just setting up to emasculate dads. That's where it's headed. But just listen to this. Just listen to this.

Jesus H. Christ, I almost lost my mind. He's white. The guy wrote it. By the way, they shot it in this town I'm in because it's such a beautiful town. And the guy that wrote the book, it's based on a book, Council of Dads. The guy lived here in Savannah. Anyways, he's a guy divorced. Apparently, his first wife was black. He's white.

I don't think in real life. I don't know. He's got a black daughter. Okay. One of his best friends is a gay black surgeon. There's about one of those on the planet. Nick, how dare you? Please stop with the gay black surgeon. There's about one of those on the planet. Nick, how dare you? Please, stop with the

gay black surgeon. Okay, so he's got the black daughter. He's got a adopted Chinese daughter who's about eight, who's a genius. She's smarter than everybody on the show and plays the piano. Could you make a bigger stereotype for a Chinese

girl? Why don't you give her fucking some pot stickers and chopsticks? The fuck? Okay, NBC. And then he's got a little boy and the show opens. The little boy's up on a rope swing. He wants to go into the lake and he's afraid to do it. And the dad's like, okay, let me get up there. And the black girl's cheering on and the Chinese girl and the pretty white mom the new wife and so he gets up there with his little son goes off on a rope swing and they crash into the lake and everybody's clapping and and then he gets diagnosed uh with cancer and all that stuff and uh there's an older neighbor white guy course kind of gruff kind of an asshole uh oh it gets better folks and then halfway through the show they go to a wedding and the grandmother's there helping dress the little boy she comes down to the stairs with a

little boy and he's got a dress on he's got a dress on and the mother of the boy goes starts yelling at the grandmother her mother i guess he's a boy she kids got a purple dress on halfway 30 minutes to show you you're assuming it's a boy because it looks i still don't know if they used a male actor or if it's actually a little trans girl i don't know they have a purple dress on the and then the little kids like eight seven years eight years eight years old. And the mother's yelling at the grandmother and the kid looks at the grandmother goes, don't worry, Grammy. It takes a while for your people your age to understand. That's what I picked up my Nick DiPaolo coffee mug and threw it at my flat screen. Luckily, when above it smashed on some.

Are you fucking dog styling me, NBC? Like I said yesterday, it's not about the show. The guy wrote a beautiful book, but it's not about that, right? You give it to a network and they turn it into something else. And NBC's eyes and people, elitist assholes that vote that way, they think that's the average family today. We know these people exist, but I'm just saying. A little trans kid going, don't worry, Grammy, your people don't get it, people your age.

That's all right. And then a little Chinese girl who's brilliant that, you know, and the gay black fucking sir. Oh, yes. He's a character everybody can relate. What the? Somebody explain to me. And it's not about being anti-gay or homophobic.

I'm just saying, do you guys ever give it a rest? You fucking idiots that write this shit. Do you ever give it a rest? What is the obsession with transgender when there's about 11 of them on the planet? Somebody explain it to me. Woo. Council of Dad. I can't wait.

I'm going to follow it just to see what they, I'm sure the dads look fucking, you know, I'm sure they're giving great advice once the guy dies or whatever. But if I'm the guy who wrote that, I got to look it up to see. There's no way he had adopted Chinese daughter with a fucking IQ of 400. And it's just fucking a little trans kid smarter than the grandmother. Oh, my aching stem.

Help me. I'm teaching you people how to watch tv because if you don't know the politics of the people who make this shit you don't get it you know i mean if you don't understand who makes it what their point of view is uh you'll never get it so i don't want to to get Anthony's take on that tomorrow. But on the bright side, I saw streets in my town. And you guys know where I live. I think you know where I live at this point. Savannah, Georgia. It's fucking.

And it's so beautiful. Right? The Talmadge Bridge. They show all that shit. Fucking Tybee. And they show me in the backyard chasing a rooster in my underwear. I play a redneck. Did I mention that? I had to get that off my chest. But between that and American Idol and the social engineering that goes on and how they edit these plots just to brainwash you

is just phenomenal to me. It's called cultural Marxism. I screamed it out on Tough Crowd in 2001. It's called Cultural Marxism. I screamed it out on Tough Crowd in 2001. Anyways, let's get right to it. Who's our favorite person out there right now? You know who it is. We've opened the last three shows with this jerk off, and he's just a dumbass. Mr. DiPaolo, no one could be as nasty as you pretend to be. Shut up, Bob.

I'm not pretending. If you lived in this fucking world, you'd understand. You're being very negative, Mr. DiPaolo. Yes'm not pretending. If you lived in this fucking world, you'd understand. You're being very negative, Mr. DiPaolo. Yes, I am. I call him as I see him. We live in a negative world. Joe Biden. Fucking scary Joe when he's not sniffing four-year-old girls' heads. Tuesday on The View, Democratic president. Why do they have to put all these X's over? Just say Joe fucking Biden. He was on The View, Democratic president. Why do they have to put all these X's?

Just say Joe fucking Biden. He was on The View and he had a confusing answer when somebody asked him about the coronavirus. Co-host Sarah Haines. Oh, I love her. We talked about Trump, she said, saying the government would reassess the wrecked period, the wrecked period for keeping businesses shut and people at home. I don't know what that means. Are you at all concerned, as Trump said, that we cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself?

You know what Trump means by that, right? You're not going to let that you're not going to destroy America and its economy. Because of the coronavirus. So that's the cure, the economy. Anyways, so that's the question she asked a stupid. Fucking God. What are we doing? What's going on right now?

And here it is. Here's his answer. Are you at all concerned, as Trump said, that we cannot let the cure be worse than the problem itself? We have to take care of the cure. That will make the problem worse no matter what. Pause. No matter what. Pause. No matter what. We have to take care of the cure.

That'll make the problem worse no matter what. What does that mean? This guy's not fit to fucking run a little league team. It's almost cruel to put this guy out there. We showed him yesterday. He couldn't read the teleprompter. He just goes on and says nothing. After he makes that stupid comment, he goes, we know you have to, you're

tired of hearing the phrase, you've got to flatten the curve where it's going up like this, people getting it, and then it comes down. We've got to flatten that curve, and we've got to make sure that once, in fact, we have this under control, it doesn't come back. So we should be focusing on getting all the help necessary in terms of testing, in terms of access to the gear that our first responders and our doctors and our nurses need in treating people. That's what Trump's been doing for two weeks. Just trying to create this that Trump's not getting it he has nothing to add to this conversation uh we should be getting extra beds hospital beds in the major cities around the country uh in the in the rural areas not the rural areas the rural areas i have a map here you can't

see it he's a map here from the docs that sent it to me there's a number of areas in the middle of the country and up north where, in fact, there are no ICU units. You mean the areas where there's hardly any cases? We have to get help there. We should be focusing on surging data, surging equipment, surging testing, surging all this information and all this capability around the country. That's what's going on. He's just trying to sound like a

fucking president doesn't know what the fuck he is talking about thank you oh my god oh and trump made big news the last couple days days saying that he wants to reopen the economy, hopefully by Easter. And of course, people are shitting their pants. He didn't say that's a hard, fast date. He said he's going to listen to Fauci and everybody. But he doesn't want this thing to crater. And here's what this is him saying, if you don't believe me, I have to do that.

I'd love to have it open by Easter. OK. I'd love to have it open by Easter. Okay? I would love to have it open by Easter. I will tell you that right now. I would love to have that. It's such an important day for other reasons, but I'll make it an important day for this, too. I would love to have the country opened up and just raring to go by Easter. I don't only want the day that Jesus Christ rose from the dead.

I want the economy to rise from the dead. And don't worry about getting the coronavirus looking for eggs, kids. There is no such thing. He's shooting for Easter. When is that, Reg? You're religious. A couple weeks away. I don't even remember Easter.

I mean, it was a big deal when you woke up and ate seven pounds of chocolate. Parents didn't know that I was lactose intolerant. I'm eating milk chocolate fucking by the pounds and then shit my pants three seconds later. Anyways, people are freaking out over that you know the president has promised to listen to his doctors and advisors on the loosening restrictions set by the government to fight the virus pandemic but has said that would ultimately he would make the final decision but if you watch cnn msnb he wants it open by easter people are dying by the millions he's fucking crazy trump appeared upbeat during the event, pulling out his cock

and giving it a yank. What? Hello? Please, the stock market went up 1,600 points yesterday. Biggest gain in the history

of the stock market in one day, since 1933. How about that, folks? Of course, it's going to go back down. This is why I don't play this. Every time somebody says something, isn't that creepy? The power Trump or any high level official has. You say something optimistic and it'll be, oh, great. Let's buy, buy. It's weird. I don't understand how it works. I never understood money. That's explaining the 12 tie from richwood oh yeah no it's actually a beautiful tie fucking collar on this shirt looks like my mother's ass um anyways he said he looked forward to the day americans could go to work noting that a massive economic depression had

its own death toll what he's saying is if if we created the economy people would be jumping off buildings like in 1929 uh we can socially distance ourselves and go to work and you'll have to work a little bit harder. He really is a bullshitter. I mean, I like him. But when you watch these press conferences, he just he he's like me. And I've said this before on the show when I had an essay question in high school and you just fill the first two pages with bullshit. You know, and then you try to, that's how he answers shit. You can clean your hands five times as more as you should,

and you don't have to shake hands anymore with people. Trump said again that he wanted the economy reopened in weeks, not months, and he said, suggested the country would be ready. It's not built to shut down, he said. what does that mean donald i love you but no country's built to shut down no economy these are the fucking things that you know people shake that our people are full of vim and vigor isn't that how the coronavirus died it was bat wings dipped in vim and vigor they don't want to be locked in a house or an apartment or some space. Are you sure about that? Have you watched locked up? Trump said the economic shutdown was painful and destabilizing, but it would soon be time for Americans to turn to their lives.

We have to go to back to work much sooner than people thought. And people can go back to work and they can also practice good judgment. Dr. Deborah Birx said during the town hall that uh she would continue looking at the data and urged americans to continue following the restrictions set by the center for disease control that's what she said so all righty then she's basically saying okay listen to him a little bit but don't go take the president's word with a grain of fucking salt. And whatever. She's an impressive lady. Smart lady.

I would never date anybody that smart. I like a aerobics instructor. A little bit retarded. Just smart enough to find a way home from the gym. That's what I used to shoot for my early 20s. Did you see Trump? Here's why I like like him there's a pandemic going on people are fucking dying and shit but this is why i love him he always wants to be funny and uh i don't know how we missed this one a couple days crack me up why that the uh the woman i was just bragging about

dr burks uh said she had a fever and watch trump's reaction here saturday had a little low-grade fever look at william bark when you fucking asshole no i'm a joke look at pence he doesn't know what to do is that pants or a cardboard cutout? I can't even tell. Is that a wax museum thing? He is the caricature. If you're going to make a movie and you want to cast a guy as the president, it's pants. Look at him.

Can we play that again, Raz? Saturday. Watch William Barbaugh. Pause. Pause right there. He looks like Elton John in another few years. That's fucking, I've been saying it forever. Elton John.

Go ahead, watch this. That's Trump in his fucking 40s when he was in New York and some hooker going, I think I got gonorrhea. Uh-oh. I'll give it a shot. I'll still give it a shot. I bought the, I'll give it a shot. I'll still give it a shot. I bought the, I have the best condoms. We have the Trump condom lines.

It says Trump on the side. But I love a guy who wants to fucking joke just like that. Come on, you got to give him credit. Also, I don't like nobody touching me. Any of you homos touch me. I don't like that line me. Any of you homos touch me. I don't like that language. And I'll kill you. I got to thank the people who are making this show possible.

And I'll repeat it again. We go free now, Monday through Thursday. And your contributions at NickDip.com are so important at this point. And it's important that we entertain you guys because you're trapped in your houses. But you are the lifeblood of the show. I want to thank personally James Bland, California. Mike O'Connell, Illinois. Jay Beattie, Kansas. Christopher Serring, Indiana.

Robert Ebright, Ohio. Kevin Paul, New York. Ross McKenzie, Indiana. Robert Ebright, Ohio. Kevin Paul, New York. Ross McKenzie, Texas. Daniel LaFond, Rhode Island. Terry Wowman, Texas. John Tobias, Florida. Zach Lindstrom, California. Thank you guys so much.

Tremendous support for the show. We had our best audience as far as we drop the show at five o'clock and we had like the biggest audience we've had since we started doing this as far as monthly supporters that's you patreon members if you want to sign up on patreon you still can and if you do that you get an extra story every day you have the capability of asking me a question and you get access to all the past shows and i want to thank aza guamo and this one says i are earl r farlow o romberger travis carter dave conlan and richard gee dickie's always in there there's no rumor He says he started the coronavirus Dickie Dickie

Dickie Thank you guys Or Dick G, I don't know how they pronounce it But thank you guys so much Again, you're the lifeblood of the show It's so important right now I don't know when I'm going to be Hopefully I'm shooting for Easter

to get back on the road. Hopefully, May. I mentioned to do comedy. I was standing in front of the mayor in the bathroom with a hairbrush practicing. Can I just tell you something? With all the negative coverage with Trump, people saying, oh, he wasn't ready. can I just tell you something with all the negative coverage with Trump?

You know, people saying, oh, he wasn't ready, all this nonsense coming out of CNN. They're trying to blame him. CNN and MSNBC is trying to, I know CNN did, trying to, you know, the people that ate fish tank cleaner, they had fish tank cleaner and died. Well, the husband died, the wife's in critical critical condition they were trying to pin that on trump because he mentioned hydroxychloroquine and that's what the people thought or it was that what naturally it wasn't but the cnn was trying to like tag trump

for it how the fuck are they not arrested for imitating a trump approval rating after all the negative coverage trump approval rating at all time high how about that all time high hit an all-time high after it went up five points that was the worst clip i've ever played it's in horrible shape what the fuck happened to that one uh trump's approval rating hit an all-time high after it went up five points within a month after a majority of the public said it approved of how he had handled the coronavirus this is the worst this has to be the nightmare for for the democrats to hear this we pull out of this and the and this this the fucking economy skyrockets bye-bye they have to be shitting their pants why do you think they're putting out all this negative stuff about him during the coronavirus thing why do you think pelosi put all that pork

and that stimulus back that liberal wish list to delay the vote on that. They don't want him to be successful here. I mean, the poll released Tuesday by Gallup showed Trump has a 49% approval rating, which ties highest approval rating from January of this year. The president received, this is really encouraging for Trump, high approval numbers

for his handling of the coronavirus pandemic. The poll found 60% of voters approved of Trump's response to the pandemic. 94 poll found 60% of voters approved of Trump's response to the pandemic. 94% of them Republican, along with 60% Independents. That's fucking huge. It's huge.

It's bigly. It's bigly. And guess what? 27% of the Democrats. You're never in line with the rest of the country. Are you Democrats? You're just either.

I don't know what you hate more, Trump or the country, but seriously, what do you want him to do he's on tv every day couldn't be more transparent we got about what 700 deaths total in a nation of fucking 330 million 33 000 people died of the flu last year we didn't shut the country down i fucking yes this is more lethal and shit. But again, it's taken out people in the late 80s and they just get in the way. They clog up the left lane and they're fucking at the supermarket. You're like, fucking, this is how you scan your shit.

What am I talking about? I'm 58. I'm one of those guys. Can you help me? I got two Snickers bars. I'm doing this for 10 minutes. I can't make this thing ring up. I look fat. Have some more soup before you go to bed, hey. I've got two Snickers bars. I'm doing this for 10 minutes. I can't make this thing ring up. I look fat.

Have some more soup before you go to bed, stupid. A recent poll from Monmouth University showed that more of the public approves of Trump's behavior during the public health crisis than they do of the media's behavior. Huh? If that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? That must hurt you guys, huh? If that's a fact, tell me,

am I lying? That must hurt you guys, huh? All you anti-Trump fucking hating in mainstream media outlets. Can you imagine? Your ratings fucking, your approval ratings worse than the guy that you find just diabolical and evil.

How's that feel? Brian Stetzer at CNNa at cnn gobble gobble fucking goo gobbling speaking of gobbling good you see this asshole in missouri oh this kid i don't know what to do this country is hell-bent on being famous i mean um this is hilarious a clip has been widely shared online of a disgusting man saying who's scared of the coronavirus and he licks the uh shelf of plastic fucking bottles watch this nitwit who's now famous and that's all he wants to get a. Don't touch your mouth. Yeah, that's terrific. Right after he ate his fucking life part in his ass,

he goes down to CBS and does that. You dirty fucking run. I'm cleaning up! Oh, my God! I'm cleaning up! Oh, my God! Well, the world needs ditch diggers, too. What a jerk off you know what pissed off pierce morgan pierce morgan used to be on cnn right he's turning into kind of a right he's had enough he's actually turning into one of us

finally coming around when i see him on tv pierce morgan one of the hosts of good morning britain aired the clip that is believed to have been filmed in the U.S. as he blasts the gross behavior. Piers led calls for this guy's arrest, said he should be denied health care if he comes down with a killer bomb. He's wishing the guy dead. And you are right.

You are correct, sir. That made me laugh. I would like him put in prison immediately. Then I would like him to be deprived of any health care should he then get the virus, having tried to deliberately give it to potentially lots of other people. I don't say I say we take them out and just fucking put them up against a wall like they do when I ran him. Just licking that is going to... Are you fucking nuts? You know how many people picked up those bottles of shampoo and shit with their filthy hands? Wouldn't it be hilarious if the guy's shitting blood tomorrow he's on a ventilator? Why doesn't stuff happen like that, God?

Why don't you do that? Inshallah. That means God willing. So the terrorists say, but the United States, we kill all the infidels, inshallah. Fresh out the Fed system. I watched the prayer five times a day. It is unclear where in the United States the video was filmed but many online appear to identify uh harry reid's house it's a no the sicko uh is a man from missouri where three people have died of coronavirus see how funny the disgusting little punk finds it when his this is this pierce

again yeah pierce morgan goes see how funny the disgusting little punk finds it when his chest is collapsing and he can't breathe. I love it. Pierce, I almost said Bronson. Pierce Morgan is furious. Donald Trump made the announcement as more than 7,000 National Guard soldiers were deployed. Is this the same story? Apparently.

Yeah, 7,000 National Guard soldiers were deployed is this the same story apparently uh seven yeah seven thousand national guard soldiers were deployed across the u.s after the president said the country would defeat the invisible enemy uh trump authorized federal support for governor's use of the national guard at all three states confirming that fema would fund a hundred percent of the emergency assistance activities as per white house so so mr biden he's he's doing shit uh i don't know what it had to do with this kid but um inshallah uh you think they can find them the authorities i wonder if they have them they uh i don't hear the store going we wiped all that down we threw those products out because i mean you got to throw those out what if another guy comes in and tries

to lick those deodorant cans he could get very sick you know who used to lick deodorant can you know used to suck on uh speeds speed stick before your time razz a guy named mike dukakis ran for president in the 80s a little little Greek midget from Massachusetts. His wife was an alcoholic. And I remember a story in the Boston Globe. She had gotten out of rehab. Then they caught her a few weeks later sucking, trying to get alcohol out of a fucking speed stick thing. Kitty Dukakis.

I had about eight minutes on it. Used to kill in Boston. They go, this guy's really mean. He's only been in comedy three minutes. What an asshole. And I took that and ran with it. I'm starting to, can I admit this? I shouldn't admit this.

I'm starting to like Cuomo a little bit. This is my Italian bias coming out. But me and my buddy were talking about this on the phone last night. I didn't want to, and he said it first, because I'm starting to kind of like that, because he's an old guindalone, as they say.

Old school guinea, and he's, you know, talking about his, busting his brother's balls, and saying personal shit about his brother that he shouldn't be, and talking about his, you know,

he's an old school guinea. And of course I hate the property taxes and shit, although he waved them, I think think i still have a house up there our father who i'm trying to move it and uh it's the most fucking tremendous house and of course uh new rochelle which is ground zero for westchester coronavirus is you know it's actually miles away but uh it'll be open by Easter. Cuomo called me, said, can we put some beds in your house while it's empty? We got a bunch of sick zipper heads from Yonkers who'd like to. Nick, that's right.

I kid. Coronavirus update from Cuomo. Said the rate of increase of coronavirus cases in New York has grown and the rate of new infections is doubling every three days. Here's Cuomo, who's become a heartthrob with some really desperate pigs, apparently, in New York. Yeah, I look at actions, not words. They're doing the supplies. Here's my question. Where are they? Where are the ventilators? Where are the gowns?

Where's the PPEs? Where are the masks? Where are they? Where are they if they're doing it? And by the way, Peter Navarro, well, we want to work with companies. Fine, work with companies. Fine. Work with companies. When what the Defense Procurement Act was about, the country needed materials to go to war. They didn't. When we went to war, we didn't say any company out there want to build a battleship. Who wants to build a battleship? Maybe a couple of you guys can get together and build a battleship. Maybe a couple of you guys could get together and build us some missiles. Maybe, you think? Anybody want to? I don't get what he's complaining about

because it's working. Trump didn't even have to ask a lot of these. I was thinking of this last thing. Imagine if Obama was fucking in office right now who never ran a business and he couldn't balance a checkbook.

You think he would get the private sector involved the way Trump did and all these businessmen coming forward, all these big companies. And I mean, Microsoft, big fucking guy headed CVS, Home Depot. And so I don't know what he's fucking bitching about. Was it Microsoft?

Facebook, something donated millions and millions of face masks or putting people. I don't know what he's whining about, but. Build a plane. You know, we're going to need planes. They're sending planes at us, and they're dropping bombs. Anybody want to do that? That's not how you did it. The president said it's a war.

It is a war. Well, then act like it's a war. And it's not anti-business. Nobody's talking about change the governmental philosophy by the way the businesses would welcome it pause they are welcoming i look at that hold on hold on oh that was it look at the dunkin donuts cup facing forward huh little product placement for let me and let me tell you something else uh he's going to, you know what he's doing? This guy, don't be surprised come election time,

somebody throws him on the ticket. If he handles this well in New York or whatever, that's why he's on TV every day. You know what I mean? He's going to take that momentum and maybe jump in the race since you get retarded Joe up there going, the cure is worse than the the athlete's foot uh we gotta cure the thing before the the the problem is cured and and just fucking rambles on about nothing but uh he's an old school guindoloon as as we say he's fucking uh starting to make me

laugh i don't like his uh but new york's getting fucking hammered right you know i mean but why is everybody surprised at that i lived there forever it's the most densely populated city in the country used to go in there take a piss at the comedy cellar the bathroom you'd literally rub chest with four people coming out hoping it was their chest i don't know he says uh at minimum we need an additional 30 000000 ventilators. You cannot buy them. You cannot find them. We're going so far

as to try experimental procedure where we split the ventilator. We use one ventilator for two patients. That sounds gross. More than 90,000 New Yorkers have been tested and more than 25,000 people

have tested positive for the virus, which is, I think, which is kind of expected. So and they tell people when you leave New York, if you're going back to other states, you better fucking quarantine yourself when you get home. Cuomo issued a warning for the rest of the country. He says we are just the test case. I don't know how he knows this. And that's how the nation should look at it. Look at us today. Meaning New York. We he says where we are just the test case. I don't know how he knows this. And that's how the nation should look at it.

Look at us today, meaning New York. We, he says, where we are today, you will be in three weeks or four weeks or five or six weeks. We are your future. Says who? Really? It's going to hit Nebraska like this? What we do here will chart the course of what we do in your city, in your community. New Yorkers are so arrogant.

They really it is the big greatest city in the world and a crossroad. But if they really think there's no life outside of New York, you're going to tell me Burlington, Vermont is going to get hit like New York City and fucking Wyoming. Billings, Montana. Shut your fucking lasagna eating trap. I'm not asking you to help New York just to help New York.'m not asking you to help New York just to help New York. I'm asking you to help New York to help yourselves.

Oh, he's running for president. Then he starts getting real Italian. My mother is not expendable and your mother is not expendable. Remember the lieutenant governor, Dan Patrick of Texas, said he's a grandparent. He implied he'd give up his life to save the economy for his grandchildren.

I think he's talking about that. And your mother is not expendable. What's he babbling about? To the boss here. Good, maybe someone will smack some goddamn sense into him. Great, my own mother. Fuck you, you fucking whore. sense into him great my own mother fuck you you fucking whore uh he says and our brothers and sisters are not expendable and we're not going to accept

the premise that human life is disposable and we're not going to put a dollar figure on human life yeah that's what trump's doing uh first order of business were you saying that when he stopped the flights from china a week after we found out about the virus? Oh, he's saying racist, xenophobe. First order of business is save lives, period. Whatever it costs, he said. And, you know, he was taking shots at his brother and shit. He goes, why do you call mom once? Well, it's fucking real Italian shit.

Anyways, remember, I'm more Irish and English than I am Italian. I found that out through Ancestry.com. Look at this face. What are you fucking kidding me? I'm like a slice of Sicilian. It's a crazy look, isn't it for me? Rez, you got the figures on the t-shirts.

Hey guys, big announcement right now. Starting today, I'm working with a company, another new sponsor, called TheDonaldStuff.com. And that's TheDonaldStuff.com. Hold on, Russ. They've got a ton of really cool shirts, hats, mugs, koozies for people who lean right like me and you and have a sense of humor it's uh it's good stuff it's quality stuff it's funny stuff i'm glad to be a part of it uh here's some of the stuff that we have uh you got creepy uncle joe i want that jacket for the next wedding uh

this is an image the guy made for me uh especially for me the wash of do we have that one pull up the uh wash of filthy this one cracked me up because i used to say wash your filthy asses that's how i used to close my show on when i was on serious radio and look at a beautiful mug a handsome Gindaloon with a greasy Italian uncle Uncle Sam Giancana wash your filthy asses there's a whole collection of Nick DiPaolo stuff on the site including mugs and towels and

put up more of the stuff there is ah nuke him get it nuke him that's for a baby you want to raise a nice baby? Look at Space Force, says Donald when he was 18. It was the last time he was that skinny. And here's my favorite, a Liarwater. There she is. That fucking lying titless wonder from Massachusetts. Liarwater. Look at this one. This kid's going to be huge huge look at trump's it's a pretty good likeness

that's him yelling at jim mccosta look he's shredded greatest president ever trump mania grab one don't be one grab one don't be one brother i'm guessing is that what hulk did res you're a wrestling fan aren't you uh Anyways, they got some good stuff, quality stuff. And they also have hilarious stuff for kids we just showed you. Again, you can find all this stuff at thedonaldstuff.com. And this is important, guys. Listen, please make sure to use the promo code Nick at the checkout to get 10% off your order. That applies to everything on the website, not just the Nick DiPaolo gear. Again, check out thedonaldstuff.com and use the promo code Nick at the checkout.

They're going to keep adding new stuff every day. We'll keep sharing it with you. And we will also put a link up on my website at nickdip.com to make it easy for you and we thank vdonaldstuff.com for uh sponsoring the show today very welcome in these trying times now here's my favorite part of the show today this one cracked me up bunny galore the great bunny galore sent this one in uh fucking italian people are cracking me up here you Galore, the great Bunny Galore sent this one in. Fucking Italian people are cracking me up here.

You know, they got whacked worse than China. Apparently their health care system was like baby aspirin and orange juice. They haven't progressed it. Try some carbonara. Make an ice and maranata. Stuff roast chicken. That'll knock this virus. They got caught sort of off guard. And they're letting people over 60 go.

Arrivederci. Grampy's got a call. Arrivederci. A compilation video of mayors. These are Italian mayors lambasting people for flouting coronavirus quarantine rules. Has struck a chord with Italians who have shared it in their thousands on social media. Oh, boy. Corona.

Hold on. I got some. What's it called? Hydroxychloroquine. With a touch of anisette. So here's some here's some Italian politicians, mayors of cities over there, who have been hit hard, cutting loose on people for not following. The first guy looks like Uncle Junior.

Let it fly. E allora mi rivolgo a voi. Ma dove cazzo andare a fare la fila alle poste per fare le ricariche, per fare i prelievi agli sportelli? Dove andate con questi cani che c'erano la porta infiammata? Pause it! Where are you going with these dogs?

They must have inflamed prostate. He's implying they're fucking their dogs? Am I getting the joke right? I fucking love my people. Or half of my people, whatever. What's the thing, Raz? What's the picture behind them with the fucking string tied around he looks like a young uncle junior

go ahead there's no ping pong Alla playstation, andate a giocare Non si può stare qua, andiamo Andiamo Non potete stare qui a casa Non mi deve guardare così, deve rispettare C'è un decreto, siccome io sono il sindaco di questa città In questa città il decreto lo faccio rispettare io Quindi se ne devi andare a casa adesso Non voglio nessuno

Tutti, dovete stare tutti a casa Devi andare a casa adesso Altrimenti viene la polizia E se la porta di peso a casa in questo momento, andiamo! Ci vuole l'esercito sul territorio, ci vuole l'esercito, allora ve lo dico chiaramente, sappiate che domani di me, domani, non pensiate tra anni, domani! E domani? Mi chiamano sindaco e il mio cane mangia le crocchette che vendono solo a Caltanissetta, ma questa la chiamiamo serietà, stare a casa significa stare solo con la propria famiglia, non con i vicini di casa, che poi voglio vedere questi vicini di casa che confidenza avete, tutti

i giorni si può un vicinato, c'è a Delia, gente che per fare il cartellone, andrà tutto bene, a casa 20 persone per fare il cartellone, perché il cartellone deve essere bello, Pause. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. Look at his hair. I've never seen an Italian guy with worse hair than that. It's like a woman's snatch going through chemo. Go ahead. The one guy had a sign language lady.

Yes. You don't even need that. I know. You don't need it. Exactly right. He's using his hands more than the sign language. Oh, go ahead. He's a hairdresser.

What the fuck? Oh, my God. You goddamn guineas really make me laugh. We take in your brother who's got coronavirus. We quarantine him. The hairdresser, do you see him? Oh, my God. How about the guy, the mayor, making a joke that dog's fucking prostate must be inflamed?

It's like a dog fucking joke, unless I'm reading into that. It's hard to see why they get hit hard over there, huh? Fucking germs. They don't have to wash their hands. Germs won't stay on there for more than three seconds oh that one fucking cracked me up bunny galore nice find uh you goddamn kennedy's really make

me laugh uh i have a patreon question yes sir from my home state there you go jonathan a carry north carolina what sort of shit do you like to do when you are not providing the best political commentary on youtube what kind of shit do i like that's actually a good question man i am a little lazy i used to fucking i like to lay on the couch. I would say, seriously, I burn the same amount of calories that Christopher Reeves did the last year of his life. What do I like to do? I love to cook. I cook like a bitch. So I've been quarantining myself and I put on seven pounds already.

What do I like to do? I like to cook. I like to, uh, I'm learning to play the piano. I actually go to a piano. Uh, I always wanted to do that. Right. And, uh, we have like this, uh, piano at home and I started dinkling around with it and, uh, found this woman, uh, here in, uh, in, in my town. It's, you know, with the, the first lessons the creepiest. It's like going on a first date. Can you imagine being on a first date with a woman?

Not sexually, I'm just saying. She's an expert at something and you have, you talk about performance anxiety. My fingers turned into ten limp dicks. I couldn't even. You're trying to do something that she's already mastered. I'm like, ding, ding, dong, ding, ding. I'm like, uh, ding,

ding, dong, ding, di. Uh, I try to stay fit as you can see, like a fucking rock. Uh, what else?

Pretty, pretty boring fucking guy. I've lost my mind with, uh, you know what? No sports are right now. I've been watching UFC. You know how they run those repeats,

like half hourhour repeats, the short three great fights? I'm catching up on all these fights because I was sort of a Johnny-come-lately to UFC. I'm fucking loving it. And the last two nights I've been watching replays of great fights. What's his name? Chris Weidman against Silva.

What's Silva's first name? I forget. And Chris Weidman against Silva. What's Silva's first name? I forget. Anyway, Silva had, he was carrying the title for like seven years. He's a real cocky black guy. He's in the ring and he's like mocking Chris Weidman, who's this tough white dude.

And every time Weidman would land one, Silva would go like this. Oh, you really hurt me. And while he was doing that, Weidman caught him with one, knocked him down and knocked him out oh you black guys you're really with your cockiness all right so i'm obsessed with ufs and rogan is so goddamn good with the commentary i'm watching one of the fights he goes the guy has two choices in this round he could either stay away or stand in front of him and get knocked as he says knocked out the guy gets fucking kicked in the head i'm coaching but rogan knows his shit man he's fucking great on those things so that's about it uh i can't think of anything else naturally comedy you know when people aren't throwing up blood uh good question what else speaking of no sports and i'll say this

and i'll shut up have you seen like marbles shut up brads this this is 2020 america you black people can speak all you want don't forget this is the face of the coronavirus wasn't the american military started it was this guy go ahead uh have you seen marble olympics on youtube what olympics marble so it's a guy they set up like marble events and it's like thousands of marbles yeah he has like teams and they do commentary it's crazy sometimes playing marbles no i'll send it to you what are they doing with the marbles like events like uh like launch up like actual olympic and you land on the marbles with your feet no it's just like the marbles are the competitors no no no i'd rather get corona than watch a minute of this. You should have seen the shit we had to do when I was pledging for a fraternity.

Ever crawl through an obstacle course on all fours trying to hold a Bing cherry in your asshole? Jizzing on a Ritz cracker? I didn't even do that one. I said, no, I have the flu. Anyways, thank you for the question. Wow, we're almost done, huh? I wanted to say something else about these guineas. They had some quotes in here.

Yeah, that guy said, what the fuck are you all doing? You and your dogs, which must have an inflamed prostate. what the fuck are you all doing you and your dogs which must have an inflamed prostate what the fuck yeah the uh carrera de la seda newspaper reported that on sunday police stopped 120 people from milan who were trying to board a train to the south of the country what the fuck is the matter with these people you Italians aren't doing much I think your brain is going soft uh Roma Today reported on Saturday two men went out to sell drugs others have written they went out for love so that they could meet their partners and two women wrote you had to have like a written permission to go out. Two women wrote they were visiting their elderly and sick aunt

who turned out to be a healthy woman in her 40s. Others said they were going to work when in fact they were meeting friends for a game of cards. Liar, liar, liar, you know it. That doesn't sound like my people lying. Where you going? I'm walking my dog. I'm going to play some ping pong.

None of your business. Finally tonight, this one, sad news, the Waffle House. You know that's one of my favorite places down here. Oh, this fucking cord. I'm going to get some Jay-Z Beats headphones. Get all hip and shit up in this motherfucker. Waffle House closes 365 locations across the country. 1,251 black people have committed suicide.

No. I fucking love the Waffle House. What? Nothing for you. The breakfast chain announced the news on their Facebook page Tuesday. While more than 300 locations have closed, 1,627 remain open. That's how fucking... I didn't know they were that short.

That's cute. In a Facebook post on March 15th, the Waffle House said that they were attempting to keep their customers safe and keep nearly 45,000 employees employed. We want to acknowledge the great efforts of our associates who work hard every shift to create a safe, warm, and welcoming dining experience 24 hours a day, and which may be laughed because, yeah, they're keeping you safe from corona, but you could die from something. That happens to go on at the Waffle House a lot at three in the morning in Atlanta, in Florida. Somebody comes in and puts on, you know,

Pat Boone on the jukebox. Anyways, the Post continues saying, we are working out to support them as we do our best to manage through this crisis and uh you really do you got to support these guys i love the friggin waffle i get the bowl it usually comes with either hash browns or uh grits and i'm trying to do a low carb thing so but it has scrambled eggs in it melted cheese and either bacon or sausage and i found the girl in there who knew exactly what I wanted. But now,

I don't know where she went. She was there for like a week. Now I go in and I ask for that. There's a discussion between five people for a half hour. And they still bring me out

with grits in it. I go, I love grits, but I'm trying to get shredded, man. Look at you. Fucking black dude. You work at Waffle House. You get 2% body fat. How do you do that?

Anyhow. I think that's enough for right now ladies and gentlemen holy moly again thank you guys for making donations at nickdip.com and for signing up at patreon.com and uh if you have a business out there and you want to be a sponsor on this show as as you can see we had the best numbers last night for the show since we started doing this um thank you coronavirus uh anyways uh contribute uh i i hate promoting i hate marketing it goes against everything that's happening anthony kumia tomorrow on the show anthony kumia i'm sure he has a ton to say about what's going on in new york city i know he's doing his show i think from his house in long island that guy makes me laugh as hard as anybody you guys all know him

and fucking love him he's a he's a patriot to the core that is it you guys think and i'll say it you're very welcome and uh we'll talk to you at the same time tomorrow have a good day, everybody. guitar solo I'm out.