The Nick DiPaolo Show - Psycho Psaki Psickie | Nick Di Paolo Show #618

Episode Date: November 1, 2021

Psaki gets breakthrough COVID. Southwest Airlines investigate pilot for LGB. Amazon driver fired after woman sneaks out back door. Trump does the chop. Florida woman booted for Onlyfans page.

Thanks for watching. Whether on social media or in our schools, on television, or from the White House, now more than ever, our freedoms, especially freedom of speech, are being suppressed, and that's putting it mildly. That's why I do this show, and that's why I put it out for free. For those of you who are able, please consider contributing to the show in any amount so we can keep it free and maintain a forum where right-leaning, honest, unfiltered comedy exists. Just click on the contribute button on your screen or go to nickdip.com and click on the contribute button at the top. Thank you guys so much. Let's keep this freedom fight going. guitar solo Yeah, how are you folks? I was going to say happy Monday, but I think that's so fucking gay when people say,

happy Wednesday. What the fuck's happy about it? It's another day closer to the ground. You know what I mean. Maybe that is a good thing when you think about it, the way the world is going right now. Hey, I want to thank the people that came out this weekend in Port Charlotte, Florida, to see me at the Vasani Theater slash Italian Restaurant, a place that I probably shouldn't have been at.

Actually, a beautiful room if there's comics watching. You should do it. I'm just saying. And great food, by the way. Great food. Nick, why aren't you bringing up the shows? Well, yeah. No, they were actually good shows.

I flushed a few people. Somebody, I don't know. I said to the owner, I go, come on. I said, two, three people walked out? He goes, yeah, but we had to refund 10. That's your policy, man. You're giving in. I'm here to fucking break that chain.

I hear how people want to be so politically incorrect. They're sick of political correctness until they see it up close. Then they go, this guy's abrasive. This guy curses. Yeah, it's called fighting fire with fire. If you see my act, I don't rely on filth to get laughs. The jokes are actually smart.

I like to drop a lot of fucks in there, a few C words and maybe a J word, just to remind people that we live in America. This should be the goddamn N word, by the way, what I'm doing right now. So I did a cancer joke, as I always do, and some guy, older guy, white beard,

you know, and I'm not blaming him. The guy came to a party. He likes the ziti there, or the veal. He's not there to see me. He probably comes there every week. I'm his wife, and that's why you don't do comedy a lot. Real comics. You can bring in the hacks from the improv and all the other chains that say nothing and fucking you'll never hear from them again. But everybody leaves happy. That's not always the case with me. So I did a cancer joke and a guy fucking

some guy with his arms folded, you know, older than me, gray. Fuck you! You're a fucking asshole. I go, why? No, first I yelled, fuck you back, because that's just my knee-jerk reaction to anything. Remember? Were you there for that? No. I went, fuck you! Now it's all quiet. And I go, what, what you, you're fucking making fun of cancer, you fucking asshole. But he was all right with the 10 minutes of COVID jokes I did, which supposedly has killed, what, 5 million people worldwide. But because this one hit home, that's the mentality of, what, an eighth grader, I'd say. And that's what I said.

I actually said, you know, I have relatives that have cancer. They find me very funny and these jokes funny. And then he went back to eating his baked manigot. Whatever the fuck. No, actually, he got up and left. Then I find out, after the guy, and Eric's the owner, and he's a great guy, and I'm not

saying, I'm saying, go to the gig. I'm happy they have comedy in Port Charlotte. Everybody wants me back there. Stay. And it was pretty packed for Halloween. And Eric's a great guy that runs it, but they didn't know what was coming. They had no idea, you know? And so I'm making it sound worse than it was. I killed on all the shows. Dallas was there. By the way, it's Dallas's birthday today. Veteran and patriot. Two tours.

Then went back for some more under a contractor. That's my type of fella. And he's got a great girlfriend. Gianni came, his girlfriend. Fucking cool. He's got the beret on, leather jacket, cute as a butt and hip, funny. Then she walked out. I couldn't believe.

No. Anyways. So, yeah. So a few people had, you know, problems with what I did. But again, older than usual. I usually have people from my 20s to literally 70s. And every show for the last, I'd say, three years, everybody that's come to see me knew what was coming. And this wasn't the case. I hadn't really hit this market, this town, but it's a very popular place. And I suggest you go there for the food and the comedy.

I don't want to give you any wrong impression. I'm just saying it wasn't a good match. But this really surprised me. After the show, this lady comes up and he's all the lady and goes, my son just told me on the phone, he texted me saying, tell Nick that the club sent out a message. He got it, and other people who bought tickets, after the Thursday night show, the next day, they sent out a message saying, this guy we consider offensive. We just wanted to let you know. They sent him a fucking preemptive strike against me. This is where we are today. Because if an adult showed up and got their feelings hurt or found somebody offensive,

it ruins their life. I mean, Jesus Christ. And this old lady that showed me, she goes, I fucking love you. And so thank you to that lady and her son who made me aware of that. And look, I'm not even arguing that point. Well, I am. It's the First Amendment in this country. But I'm just saying, they run a business. They do it the way they want. So I'm just saying, no hard feelings.

I haven't had one of those in a while. And can you tell I ate two Domino's pizzas and went to bed two nights in a row? Look at the size of my fucking head. I look like the skipper. Got to start all over. You know, when you're having a tough weekend, then I had a few drinks to go back to the room. You know, you can shit all over Domino's all you want. When you get 10 drinks in you, it's fucking might as well be, I might as well be in Naples, Italy. Fucking delicious. I left one slice so I wouldn't feel guilty. So I wouldn't say I ate a large bite. Next morning, I got to get up and fucking ate it,

hungover. Anyways, all right, let's get on with the show. I just wanted to say that. I had a great time, and thank you guys for coming up. What's that noise in my head? In the N-word segment tonight, Philadelphia will now bar cops from pulling over drivers for minor traffic violations. The legislation is known as driving while black, a myth started by black people that implies they get pulled over just for being black, when the truth is they are more likely to be driving a shitbox with a broken taillight or no tags because they can't get their personal shit together. Not all of them. Let's not get, uh, let's not paint with a broad brush. This is the biggest myth since Joe Biden winning the last election. Total horseshit. Nobody believes

it. Cops would still be able to stop drivers for more serious primary violations like, you know, trying to run a cop over after looting a CVS or shooting somebody at your cousin's barbecue because they disrespected your potato salad or spotting a leg sticking out of the back of your Nissan Sentra after you ran a red light, stuff like that. The myth of driving while black was disproved by New Jersey state troopers who were accused of disproportionately pulling over blacks for speeding on the New Jersey turnpike. After setting up a camera in 2002 that recorded people being pulled over because of the reading on a radar gun, blacks were found to be speeding almost twice as much as anybody else, and

almost three times as much as going faster than 90 miles an hour. So, so much for driving while black. You know, more like driving while kind of stupid and in a hurry. We've all done it, but just fucking admit to it. But I personally didn't need to see that study. I go by my own life experience. While living in New York on and off for 15 years, I was on the Jersey Turnpike and other surrounding highways and couldn't believe

what I was seeing. And I'm from Boston. Inevitably, at least three to four times a month, I would see cars blow by me at speeds of at least 120 to 140 miles an hour racing each other, usually a Nissan Maxima, the official car of the angry minority. They were usually, the cars were tricked out, they sounded like leaf blowers or my wife's vibrator, but so much for the myth of driving while black. In the future if we follow this logic, look to see Philly pass more legislation like, you know, raping while black, murdering while black, mugging while black. They have the most left-wing district attorney running that city. It's frightening. Anyways, after all, it's the city of brotherly love, so they're giving black

people a break. All right, let's move on, shall we? Let me have a sip of my, what they call Irish coffee. Dallas, how old are you? 41? No, three. Didn't you tell me you were 42 this weekend? No. You motherfucker. Imagine that.

This guy's a patriot and he's lying. We have to get you. Come here. Get the birthday boy on camera. This is a guy that did two tours, all right? And it wasn't in frigging Sandals Resort. All right? Is that not a veteran? He's from Texas, by the way. Does he look it? Should be on on the flag should be on the state flag nice going happy birthday what are you and the girl gonna do you know Arby's like last year anytime Arby's here you know all crack covers so we probably won't go to Arby's this year unfortunately now we're gonna go're going to go to a new brewery. It's a veteran-owned brewery. It's Viking-themed down in Richmond Hills. It's Viking-themed? Yeah, a Viking-themed

veteran-owned brewery that just opened. Sounds pretty fucking awesome. It's Viking? It's permanently, or just this weekend it's Viking-themed? No, it's a Viking-themed... So I go in there and, like, Alan Page and Carl Eller are serving me... You're going to drink a beer out of a skull mug.

Oh, with the fucking horns. Maybe that guy will be there. Oh, is he still in jail? They broke into the Capitol with a lamp skin. They should have his poster up. All right. Happy birthday. Anyways, let's get on with the show.

Oh, Sacky Sicky. Not talking a while. White House Press Secretary. This is how horny I am. She's starting to look good to me. What am I? Have I lost it? Maybe it's the power she has as a woman. She's strong and independent. Freckle face. I think I turned on by the way she lies to the nation without even blinking white house press secretary jen spassacki tested positive for covet 19 covet 20 and 21 oh she's filthy she disclosed sunday in a statement that also said she has not been in close contact with the president, neither is the vice president or senior members of the White House staff since she changed Joe's diapers two days ago. There she is, Jen Psaki, always lecturing us about masks, right?

And all that horse shit and just she was vaccinated and she still got it. So I can't wait to hear your big lie. I know exactly what she's going to say. Well, it would have been, I'd be a lot sicker if I didn't get vaxxed. I could have probably died from it. My freckles could have come off. What? The sound effects aren't working, so I'll do it before you get that little red beaver in

front of you, you know. I don't think it's crazy at all, doctor. Saki said she last saw President Joe Biden on Tuesday, right after he shit his pants with the Pope. That's the Roma, by the way. Have you heard that one? That he shit his pants while visiting the Pope? Let me try this. Okay. Anyways, she saw Biden last Tuesday when we sat

outside more than six feet apart, which again has been disproven as absolute. Ian wore a mask. Boy, does she know how to fucking lay it on. Just a lying poor. Biden left Thursday for Europe and is not scheduled to return until Wednesday. Psaki, who was supposed to accompany Biden, stayed back after members of her household tested positive. At the time, the White House announced Psaki was not going because of an unspecified family emergency. So she lied then, too. Couldn't come out and just say, yeah, it's all bullshit. She got it from her family.

You know. So we hope you a very unspeedy recovery. What? What? There she is reaching for her microphone, being told what to say by George Soros. There's Biden on the left, shitting his pants as he's shaking the Pope's hand. Our father who I'm... That's the rumor.

And it's not just people online. There's like a lady who was over there, a reporter. There was a big delay when he was with the Pope, and they don't know. And you know what their excuse was? That the car got in an accident. The car. The beast that they drive.

It had a fender bender. Yeah, that was the accident. Who are you kidding? He dropped about a pound of Gerber's strained peaches into his diaper. I think I finally found the groove on this show. Trevor Noah, you couldn't carry

my joke book, motherfucker. Anyways, nice guy. I don't know why I get mad at him. She said she has been quarantined since then and tested negative every day until Sunday. Hey, why should we question her? Okay. She said she disclosed the positive test out of an abundance of transparency.

What does an abundance of transparency look like? This coming from the most, what's it, not untransparent, whatever, opaque? I don't know what I'm trying to say here. That's good. Opaque? I don't know what I'm trying to say here. Saki said she's experienced only mild symptoms, like nipple bleeding and ear ringing. No, like large diarrhea and vomit. Oh, those are the sound effects.

And will continue working. Now, leave that in. You know to leave the funny shit in, right? Working from home until after a 10-day quarantine, following a negative rapid test. She called that an additional White House requirement beyond CDC guidance taken out of an abundance of caution. Earlier this month, Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas, look at this liar.

He's got John McCain's arms. Look at this liar. He's got John McCain's arms. Do you know I have John McCain's shoulder? I'm not kidding you. You guys know I had these both rebuilt after high school. And the left one, I injured again on a toboggan when I was drunk. This is a month after the operation.

I went over a jump in a toboggan. Standing up, I have a sling on. And so it never, this one didn't heal properly. So when I reach out now, I notice I'm doing a McCain. It's kind of. Anyways, Mayorkas became the first Biden cabinet member to test positive for COVID, AIDS, and lupus. No dandruff. Negative.

State Department spokesman Ned Price tested positive in late September. You all remember when Ned Price tested positive. Fucking household name in the Price household. Well, COVID-19 breakthrough cases have been very rare among the large numbers of those vaccinated. They can still happen because no vaccines are 100% effective, said the little redheaded freak. She had been vaccinated and still got it. I can't wait to hear this one. Severe infections of people. Here's where the article should end, but they have to lecture you, whoever wrote this.

Severe infections of people who have been fully vaccinated are very rare, generally occurring in people whose immune systems are weakened by their advanced age or medical condition. Yeah, it only kills old people, like we've been saying. Vaccinated people are eight times less likely to be infected and 25 times less likely to experience hospitalization or death from a fake pandemic. It's a flu. It's all it ever was.

And you schmucks out there, that's according to the CDC studies. And they haven't lied to us yet. Oh, I can't take it no more. So that's the Biden administration, all infected, dirty, and lying. Like a lot of girls I did in high school. Staying on politics, kind of, on a Biden-related story. Southwest, not the government, Southwest Airlines is conducting an internal investigation after one of its pilots reportedly said a phrase used in right-wing circles as a stand-in,

let me fill it in for you. Instead of saying, fuck Joe Biden, it's let's go, Brandon. And the pilot said it over the address system. Of course, they're apologizing to customers, insisting it does not condone employees sharing personal political opinions while on the job. Yet I remember, and I'm not saying it's Southwest Airlines, there were a few incidents where Trump people, one guy was asked to take his hat off because somebody was disturbed.

I reported that on this show, on a flight, and other stuff. So I don't want to. The airline faced turbulence on social media. Get it? Can you imagine writing that on social media over the weekend after an Associated Press, folks? That would be AP. And that organization is as liberal as any of them. AP journalists, guessing it was abroad, no doubt, was on a flight from Houston to Albuquerque. Yuck. Why would you go to Albuquerque? What are you doing,

picking up coke? What? Go in there to pick up a body after Alec Baldwin left? What's going on over there? Flight from Houston to Albuquerque on Friday when she heard the pilot use the phrase, let's go Brandon. If I was on that plane, I would have knocked on the door and blown the guy mid-flight, writing that it brought on audible gasps, lying whore, lying whore. Lying whore, I'll say it again. I wasn't there. I'm going, it's my call. You're a lying whore. The plane did not gasp. You did. From some passengers. Guaranteed two people that she was with. Audio of the pilot's greeting, which the Washington Post could not independently verify.

Oh, my God. What a country of children we are living in. Was separately circulating widely on social media. Here is some evidence that he said it. And God damn it, this guy better get promoted or I'll be very upset. ...by the east about seven or eight miles an hour. Good visibility, mostly clear skies, 77 degrees.

Thanks for coming out and flying the Southwest Airlines. Welcome aboard. Remember, let's go Brandon. And remember, let's go Brandon. That's what he said. Oh, my God. Probably because he's a pilot and they're doing the whole, right, union max vaccine mandate thing, and he don't like it.

I told these guys, and it was true, I was on a flight, I'd say a year and a half, two years ago, and the pilot did his whole speech, will be flying, but nobody gives a, at the end he goes, so let's get her done. I even fucking, I gasped. I mean, I love Larry, I love Larry the cable guy, the blue collar guy, but holy shit, I said... Last thing you want to hear.

I feel like going, dude, this isn't a Ford F-150. We're in a goddamn jet. Southwest does not condone employees sharing their personal political opinion. Why not? Political opinions while on the, that's what scares me. You're going to get some jerk-off mechanic who's like a huge Biden fan, could just toss a monkey wrench into the fucking engine. Say, yeah, have a good flight.

But they don't condone sharing political opinions of their employees while on the job serving our customers, especially when comments are divisive and offensive. Say, oh, that's divisive. Go, Brandon, that's divisive. Why don't you guys get a sense of humor? If the guy said, and don't forget, fuck Trump,

I'm sure you'd be reporting the same. The Texas-based airline said in a statement to the Washington Post, again, two liars, Southwest is conducting an internal investigation. We still don't know who shut down the fucking Keystone Pipeline. Conducting an internal investigation into the recently reported incident and will address the matter directly with any employee involved, the statement continued. The airline apologizes for the, Jesus, keep sucking ass, an action that was not reflective

of Southwest hospitality, for which we are known. First of all, I'm not crazy about Southwest because the frigging flight attendants try to be funny. I think they're told to. Ugh. I was on one and a waitress comes out. Waitress, excuse me. Flight attendant.

Big fucking difference, about 35,000 feet. She comes out. I'm not kidding you. Carrying a tray of cups, you know, styrofoam. And she goes, ugh! And they fell, and they were empty. Holy goodness, my pants laughing. Ugh.

Sad part is it killed. I'm the only one going like this and she's walking away. The phrase has been used as code by conservative critics of the president since a chant of fuck Joe Biden broke out among a crowd at Alabama's Talladega Super Speedways in early October. Listen to how they lie here, too. An NBC sports reporter who was interviewing a NASCAR driver, Brandon Brown, live on air at the time, said, You can hear the chants from the crowd. Let's go, Brandon.

She knew what they were saying, and that's what she turned it into. I bet you she was rewarded by NBC. That incident went viral. Listen, listen how they were this. As some Trump supporters claimed, journalists sought to censor anti-Biden sentiment. And since then, many Republicans have used that phrase as a G-rated substitute for its more vulgar. Can you imagine after the shit that says about Trump for four years? Oh, you guys, you're below children.

I don't even know how to describe fucking libs. Anyways, that's what the AP report. What, this fucking article is longer than a fucking Old Testament. Bill Posey, oh, here comes the good part, Republican Florida, ended an October 21st House floor speech with a fist pump and the phrase, and the phrase, let's go, Brandon. Look at here.

It's a dick wearing a t-shirt. This guy looks like a dick with a face drawn on it. Hey, can I get a polo shirt for my erection? All right. South Carolina Republican Jeff Duncan wore a face mask with it at the Capitol. Say, let's go. And Teddy Cruz posed with a sign featuring the phrase at the World Series. Can you imagine? And the other side's upset. You guys are just the biggest pussies. You're everything I hate about this.

Oh, my God. Can we end? I'm going fucking. I got more stories to go. Jesus, look at this. Harvard professor weighs in on it. Juliette Cahim, abroad, put her up. I'd like to spank her bottom. Kind of hot, isn't she? She tweeted every passenger on that flight, this is what comes out of Harvard, has standing to file a complaint with the FAA over the incident, urging Southwest to investigate the pilot,

while former Democrat California congressional candidate, Regina, used to be fuckable Marston, went further calling for the firing of the pilot right now. Again, ladies, I'm trying to be nice, but... Okay, there's more to this story? Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. Oh, my God!

I'm just letting it roll. Does he know we do a fucking 40-minute show here? Holy Christ, Tom. How do I stop this thing? Wasn't a boy! My best joke in my act right now. And they fucking sat on their hands at an Italian restaurant. I'm doing a line from The Godfather. Wasn't a boy! My best joke in my act right now. And they fucking sat on their hands at an Italian restaurant.

I'm doing a line from The Godfather. Wasn't a boy! Well, I can't get a straight answer out of you anymore. That's me arguing with my wife about, we saw a trans person in the mall. We have a contest, who gets the... It's a great joke, ladies and gentlemen. Come see me live at Yuck Yucks and Fuck Fuck. Listen up.

If you don't have a Nick DiPaolo Show t-shirt, hat, or vibrator, pick one up now. Make sure to go to nickdip.com and click on store to pick up a shirt or a mug or a hat. It's the holidays, folks. Then send us a photo of your hot wife, daughter,

girlfriend, niece, in the t-shirt hello I'm Joe Biden and I approve this message we almost done I gotta take a dump best show on TV slash internet

here's a story that sums up America It's the best show on TV slash internet. Here's a story that sums up America. America, you're as smooth as Tennessee whiskey. You're as sweet as... Amazon driver fired after woman caught slipping out back door. Now, I read the headline, and because I'm a racist, I went, guaranteed black dude. Guaranteed. Once again, Nick DePaul proven right.

And I'm not holding it against him. This is something any healthy, blooded American guy might do. I personally don't think it warrants firing. I'm even going to go that far, my brother. She was all right. We'll show you. We're a black dude. They usually look like, you know,

fucking Kirstie Alley in a white wig. She might be. A Florida Amazon driver has been sacked. That's a word that England uses. Yet somehow, and this creeps into our language, because this cunt, whoever wrote this article, this guy, thinks it makes them worldly. It's called fired in this country, not sacked. Sacked is something you can suck on, but I'm done with this article.

Has been sacked after a scantily clad woman was filmed clambering, I don't know what that means, clambering. Did she wear wear clam in there because it's a sex store? Out of the back door of his delivery vehicle sparking speculations as to what transpired.

Oh yeah, what a mystery. A now viral video documenting the potentially scandalous incident amassed 11.3 million views on Chinese-owned TikTok, which is infiltrating us since it was posted last weekend. The 11-second footage, originally uploaded on October 24th by content creator at PatrickHook01, shows an Amazon courier opening the back door of his van, whereupon a blonde woman in a black mini dress

hops out and it would have been funny if a body rolled out of there. That would have been a good one. Then you could investigate. But somebody gets a handjob behind a basket of cheese. Who gives a fuck? Go ahead. Let's take a look. That's a black guy. Do that walk of shame, bitch. You've been viewed 11 million times. How's that feel, whore? By the way, she ain't that bad for a black guy.

Like I said, usually black guys, they hook up with a blonde woman. They usually, again, it looks like John Madden in a bikini or some type of shit. But this girl staggers out of the truck. She is dripping from her miniskirt. Proud moment for the parents. I don't can that guy. Matter of fact, guy, you should be lying. Just say, I didn't do anything. Prove it. Bezos goes, let me get Biden to sniff your fingers. The clip concludes with a gal pulling a phone out of her skimpy garment and calling her white parents and go, nah, nah. As she walks down the street, there she goes, yes, walking down the street, singing blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. She's dripping at her feet.

Less than a week later, the drive has reportedly been canned. I think it was a black dude. Are we in agreement? Come on, guys. He had dreads? I didn't see that. What did you watch? Like the Sabruta film?

Holy shit. Look at the dreads snapping back and to the left. Right there. Isn't that fucking... How stereotypical. Blonde, heavy blonde girl, white girl, and a guy with dreads. Can't get the old white cockerini, huh? Reportedly been canned for a backdoor scandal.

Ooh, who wrote that one? Zing, zing, zing. This does not reflect the high... Listen to this. Here comes the bullshit statement from the company. This does not reflect the high standards we have for our delivery service partners. We much prefer that they fuck on the loading dock behind a forklift like everybody else. A rep for the company told TMZ,

allowing unauthorized passengers to enter delivery vehicle is a violation of Amazon policy, and the driver is no longer delivering packages. He delivered a package. He delivered a big black package, and all customers were satisfied. Give that man a promotion over here. Well, guess who's back in the news?

The greatest president that ever stepped into the White House, in my opinion. By the way, I think I'm interviewing Peter Navarro this week. On Thursday, he was Trump's trade and, you know, trade policy guy. Really smart. One of the guys that went to Harvard and actually used his education for good and not evil. And he's got a new book out. And it's not really, I said to my agent, my manager, I go, I don't talk business on the show. It's too dry. It's fucking boring to most people. But this isn't what this book's about. Navarro's book's about how he called China out first. And

I remember it. I was watching a Sunday morning show and I went, how do we get him on the ticket? And then I've seen him since. He's a no bullshit guy. And he stuck beside Trump the whole time. So anyways, I think we'll have him Thursday. And that'll end his career.

Anyways. Speaking of Trump, he was at the World Series game last night. World Series game. Oh, if this only worked, it would be so great. Where the fuck is it? Oh, I want to cry right now. He was at the World Series game doing the tomahawk chop.

I can't believe that, and I bet they did. I guarantee, if you go online, I guarantee a bunch of lefties took this and turned it like this. Am I right? There's Melania looking at the president to see how to do it. Former President Donald Trump did the tomahawk chop with Braves fans, and this makes news because at the World Series Saturday night, months after calling for a baseball boycott amid MLB's politically motivated move to pull the All-Star game from Atlanta, boy, did Atlanta get the last laugh on that one, folks. If you're not baseball fans,

they're in the World Series this year. It's probably going to go seven games. Anyways, they've already played, how many more? Three in Atlanta. They already got to play three, not to mention the series before that. So they have won that one big. Trump and his wife, Melania, watched game four between Atlanta and Houston from a private suite. No, they weren't in the bleachers. The Republicans, it says the Republican was expected to be joined by political allies, including former University of Georgia Heisman Trophy winner, Herschel Walker, who I don't think has aged a second since Georgia. What's the, oh, that's a microphone. I thought that was a black growth on his face. I did. I thought that was like a Aaron Neville. How fucking strong and tough looking is this guy? Who Trump encouraged, Trump encouraged Hersh Walker to move back to the state

of Georgia and run for U.S. Senate on the GOP line. Senate, and he's great, though. He hung out, Trump hung out with Herschel Walker and his family. Herschel called him and said, me and my kids are going to Disney World. Will you join us? This was years ago. I think when Trump ran that football league, he tried to start World Football League.

And Trump went down and hung out all day with Herschel and his kids. And this guy is a straight shooter. He's as logical and if you give him any shit, good luck. Anyways, I always loved him. I loved him as a football player. Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell. Seen here smiling

as he's getting blown. Look at that chinless freak. This is how he talks. I told Herschel Walker we need some black. I can't even do this. I have, I can't even do this. I have I can't even do this. I got McCain shoulder Talk but McConnell endorsed Walker anyway in a bid to unseat the Democrat that Raphael Warnock that Wang Russell look at Warnock. He looks bright doesn't he This is this is him trying to solve the problem two goes into four how many time This is him trying to solve the problem. Two goes into four. How many times?

Trump released a statement in a mass email to his supporters Saturday about his planned World Series appearance. Looking forward to being at the World Series in Atlanta tonight. Thank you to the Commissioner of Baseball, Rob Manfred, and Randy Levine of the New York Yankees for the invite. Melania and I are looking forward to having sex and the sweet. No, looking forward to a wonderful evening watching two great teams. Now here comes, you can't do an article about Trump without some type of controversy. MLB, I don't know who's lying here.

If it's MLB, if it's the guy who wrote the article, the newspaper, I don't know who's lying here. If it's MLB, if it's the guy who wrote the article, the newspaper, I don't know. MLB denied making the invitation and said in a statement, he requested to attend the game. Okay, maybe he misspoke. I don't believe it. Earlier in the week, Terry McGurk, CEO of the Braves, said Trump reached out to the team for tickets. How did you vote, Mr Terry McGurk, CEO of the Braves, said Trump reached out to the team for tickets. How did you vote, Mr. McGurk?

What the fuck's he look like? Pissed off somebody. Janet Yellen. This show is hilarious today. It should go out to everybody, everywhere. He called Major League Baseball and wanted it to come to the park, McGurk reportedly said. We were very surprised. Why? Of course we said yes. Trump encouraged a boycott of MLB games after Manfred, the commissioner,

moved the Midsummer Classic, that would be the All-Star game, from Atlanta to Denver. The switch followed a protest of Georgia's new voting law, which critics say, if not critics, which people who are adult, fair-minded, and who want fair elections say imposes unfair restrictions on minority voters. Again, always using minorities, whether to change traffic violation laws in Philly or to change federal election always using the victim the the doormat they've been using for 60 years black people get out of the Democrat Party please how can't you vote for her she'll walk up a crisis Nick why just because I'm black exactly

up for Christ's sake. Nick, why? Just because I'm black? Exactly. Is this the final story? We have two more, but... Oh, okay. Let's go. No, I didn't know. I got about six minutes. Florida mom. Uh-oh. Oh, no. Another sex scandal. Florida mom booted right in the ass. No. Florida mom booted in the ass by an Amazon delivery driver. Who wouldn't? Florida mom booted due to only fans page. I've skimmed over that a little bit. I'm a fan. I'll put it that way. I have a sneeze guard on my computer screen. What? I'll put it that way. I have a sneeze guard on my computer screen. What? A Florida mom is vowing to sue a school district for $1 million for being barred as a volunteer because of her racy OnlyFans account.

Victoria Snooks. Why would you bar her from anything? I don't care if she was at Chuck E. Cheese and my kids were having a party. I would introduce all of Mrs. Tricci, I'm guessing. You could say Trees, but I'd say Tricci, the Italian. I don't know about you. I used to hate tattoos on women, but I have changed my mind completely. I want Pelosi to get one that says twat on her neck.

This is Victoria Snooks. Trici, a 30-year-old mother of two children, she had kids. I wonder how they were fed. At Sand Lake Elementary School, was told earlier this month she could no longer take part in Orange County Public School addition volunteer programs. After an anonymous sneaky bitch letter from a concerned parent guaranteed it was an uptight liberal woman who looks just like Ted Danson outed her, her attorney said. She was stripped, get it, of the chance to participate in her children's lives with no legal or constitutional justification, Trici's attorney, Mark Najam, told the Post. What happened is somebody who took the posture of being a moral guardian,

that would be a sanctimonious liberal asshole, wrote a letter to the school and without notice, she was unceremoniously dumped from being a volunteer. She's doing a good thing. Trachy had been volunteering in the district for five years and passed a background check to do so. She can no longer volunteer at the school, but she's allowed to chaperone field trips with her five and ten-year-old sons. That makes sense.

The school, I guess, is scrambling to clean up their mess, he said, the attorney, adding that OCPS officials told Tachy prior to a press conference Thursday she could still be involved at the school in that capacity. That's a milf is what I'm telling you. She's making big, she's got 123,000 followers like on Twitter and Instagram. I should have got implants my third year in comedy. Treachy told reporters she has been on OnlyFans for more than two years, never took steps to hide it.

She also has Twitter and Instagram pages with up to 123,000 followers. All of the profiles feature the heavily tattooed, young, blonde, delicious cream puff and sultry poses. That's a beautiful one. She should go with more of that shit. Am I right? Nobody has the right to judge what other people do for a living treat, she said. Now you're going a little too far, okay? If you were pimping out and shit, which some people might say, well, I don't think you are, but I mean, if you're an actual prostitute or there's a mother volunteering that's selling crack at night, yeah, you can judge emperors. Don't go too far, beautiful. I'll let it slide,

Trici said at the press conference. I feel judged and so isolated. Oh, I'm sure you're lonely. Trici said she feels humiliated that someone felt the need to expose her online presence. No one else should be concerned about what another parent does. Again, be careful with your words. I just love spending time with my kids and my breasts and my kids, and I have a great relationship with other parents and students.

I bet the fuck you do. I'm sure the guys, the other husbands and shit, are like, oh, not this asshole. They'll be picketing in front of the school. Let her in. That is it, ladies and gentlemen. That is it for today. Great show right here.

Again, thank you guys who came out to Visani Theater. Visani? Visani Theater. And I recommend going there for food and comedy. It's a great place. And just do your research before you go to the club. Because once in a while, a real comic gets let in, you know? And that's what happens. Don't forget thecomicsgym.com, nickdip.com, and cameo.com. I got a couple waiting for me right here. I will roast a friend, a relative of yours.

I'll make a two-minute thing on my phone. You go to Cameo.com, click on my profile, tell me about the person. It's great. People love it. And the people that get roasted are usually my fans anyway, so they love it. A lot of birthday makes great gifts like that. Anyway, that is it. Anything else, fellas? That's it. Happy birthday to Dallas.

Matthew's back, by the way. He took off. He said he was out looking for the Petito girl, but that was a long time ago. Anyways, that's it. You guys think it, I will say it. You're very welcome. We'll see you back here tomorrow at the same time. Good day, everybody. guitar solo Outro Music